“life will be better in spring”

October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 April 2014

Life's a game made for everyone,
you're in it before you even know it.
Play by the rules, steer around the rules
If love, wealth and happiness are the prizes
what's your game plan?

Labels: thoughts

Is it unbecoming that I constantly feel so stifled at the thought of being stuck here in Singapore?
Like having a chain around my feet and getting strapped to a pole so rooted to the ground, I really feel the need to escape.

Like a clueless panda wondering in a concrete jungle, it's almost like I don't belong here.
Where's my bamboo forest to roam freely in?

Labels: thoughts

Labels: music

Labels: thoughts

Walking, one step at a time, into the unknown.
This is exactly how being 23 feels like.

Fresh out of college,
landed a first job,
earned the first pay check,
albeit still as clueless as ever!

Lost track of the number of steps,
lost track of the days flying by,
lost track of where I'm heading to.

This is perhaps a result of living from fixed milestones to milestones for the past 23 years!
Primary school, Secondary school, JC, Uni.......
Suddenly with an open ending essay to draft, mental block strikes!

Stumbling, one step at a time, into the unknown.
This is exactly how being 23 feels like.

Labels: thoughts

Labels: family, thoughts

once again after many years, you find yourself standing at the start of a seemingly endless road, except this time you have absolutely no idea what's really installed for you. You don't even see the next turning or the next traffic light.

Labels: dreams, thoughts

Labels: dreams, thoughts

Some reckon that dreams are simply a heightened portrayal of reality.

Labels: thoughts

like how pigs will always go back to rolling in mud
like how dogs will never stop chasing their own tail
like how salmons will always go back to their birth place to lay their eggs
it always ends the same familiar way.

Labels: thoughts

Reality VS Expectations

Just like getting two lines to intersect, don't we all find ourselves constantly trying to make reality match up to our expectations? As if it's a race against time, "expectations" seem to be the hare and is constantly way ahead of "reality" the tortoise.

Labels: thoughts

In a sheer attempt to check some things off my bucket list, I tried to scrutinise my blog archives for it on the vague impression that I had once blogged about it (damn sure I did). Unfortunately, the list was nowhere to be found :(

I shall rewrite it!!

1) Step foot on all 7 continents
2) Visit at least 100 Cities in my life time (Currently at 60++)
3) Visit at least 40 Counties
4) Sky dive at least once!
5) Windsurf
6) Scuba dive
7) Surf
8) Cable ski
9) Learn how to Ski
10) Snowboard
11) Go on a self drive holiday
12) Learn how to ice skate
13) Learn how to rollerblade
14) See snow
15) Start a biz of my own (prolly food related :P)
16) Learn Spanish
17) Go to exotic places like North Korea, Bhutan, Africa
18) Own an Audi/Minicooper/Beetle
19) Own a penthouse
20) Witness all four seasons
21) Work overseas
22) Get a masters overseas
23) Run a full marathon
24) Ride a horse
25) Climb Mt. Everest

That's all for now, I guess? Shall add on when I think of more things.

Labels: Bucket list

"It's not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters" - The Power

Despite all the hard work, despite all that pain throughout the year, despite not getting what I wanted in the end, I actually felt alright. Results can come in many other forms, perhaps I felt like gained in many other ways despite the actual outcome. I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad but I came to terms with it within a day, dwelling in negativity will only consume you from within. It will slowly erode your soul, take away your happiness like how a dementor engulfs your soul and before you know it, a part of you would have died.

Perhaps this is growing up, learning to deal with failures and moving on with your life as quickly as possible :)

Never let negativity bring you down. There's gotta be more to life.
By the law of attraction, negativity breeds negativity, unhappiness grows exponentially. Similarly, happiness bring more happiness, better things build on good things.

"Don't just wait around for the storm to be over, learn to dance in the rain"

This marks the end of my education career..... (for now).

Labels: school, thoughts

Lunch with a view of mountains, blue skies, calm waters and yachts :D

The best things happen at the break of dawn

BEST BURGER I HAD ON THE TRIP :D

BIGGEST BURGER EVER!!

One day I'm gonna open a cafe like this :)

Months ago when I hastily accepted the invitation to join a bunch of people whom I barely know on a graduation self-drive trip to a foreign land down under (Aussie/New Zealand), most people were far from receptive of my actions.

Naturally, I began to question myself and a part of the self-loathing tiffy started to regret. However, fortunately, seeing as the air tickets were already bought, my decisions were nowhere near alterable without having to part with some $800.

15days (+2 days for traveling) later, I'm really glad I stuck to my (initially deemed hasty) decision :)

I'm glad to have taken that leap of faith, stepped out of my comfort zone, made some new friends and checked some points off my bucket list. These few days made me realise I'm not that bad/socially awkward a person. I guess I have to attribute this to SEP for prior to it, I would never have had the guts to travel with people I barely know.

Keep an open mind, step out of your comfort zone and you may just rediscover yourself :)
One can only become better when he/she is stretched beyond her limits.


#projectselfimprovement

Labels: Bucket list, driving, food, friends, fun, Project Self Improvement, thoughts, Travel

"Everybody has a dark side, would you love me, would you love mine?'

Labels: music, thoughts

Happy people know suffering more than anyone else, and that’s how they can see just how damn beautiful their lives are. It’s because they’ve seen the depths.

 http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/the-things-happy-people-know/

Happiness is nothing but a matter of choice.

Labels: thoughts

Why is it that I always make the same mistakes?
After so many years, I thought I should have known better.....
Why do I always act on impulse?
Why why why.
I thought I fucking have known how to follow my head and was doing so well at it until I had to go play with fire and get burnt.
Or maybe, it was a lesson I had to learn or karma just getting around :X
Well, at least i didn't plunge deep into it and managed to drag myself out before it was too late. Maybe I did learn something from past experiences.
Maybe the only thing that came out if this was that it helped me to face the facts and come to terms with my emotions. It is then that I realise I really don't feel much anymore.
Which brings me back to the point of regret, I could have just waited out and sorted out my own thoughts and feelings and not have acted out at the spur of the moment.
Because deep down a part of me was already coming to terms with it.
Why did I let my heart overrule my head???

I really really hope I don't screw this up like the countless times in the past :X
Please.
I don't know if I can ever forgive myself if I do.
Now, it's time for salvation.

Labels: thoughts

Here I am standing at the crossroads once again after four years, only this time with endless possibilities.
While it's true that uncertainties give life its excitement, it also takes away the feeling of knowing exactly what you're doing.
Life planning life planning life planning.
It's about time I admit that I hate planning for things too far in advance.
I often live the day as it comes because its too tiring to keep planning.
If you spending every moment planning for the future, you would hardly have lived at the present at all.

On looking back, the four years in uni had been really fast paced. Somehow these four years felt shorter than the four years in secondary school, maybe owing to the shorter amount of time spent in school.
Before I knew it, I was already on a fast track filing for graduation.
The fresh young girl four years ago with lots of goals/aspirations in mind has unfortunately turned into a sluggish jaded sloth after four years.
I wonder how many of those goals did I manage to achieve.

Sometimes I wonder, if I meet that 19 year old girl I was 4 years ago today, would I still recognise her?
One thing might not have changed, I'm probably still this socially awkward person I was, no doubt.

Halfway through university, I remember feeling so worn out that I couldn't wait to graduate. Here I am, at the brink of graduation, feeling sucky about having to graduate because school isn't really half as bad as work life.
Here's the funny thing about life, it comes back to bite you for not knowing what you have until it's been taken away from you.
Maybe I'm just not ready for the next chapter of my life.
Maybe I just don't know what I really want.
Maybe I am just really lost.

Labels: thoughts

"Losing what you never really had..."
That sounds totally absurd at first glance, but think about it, have you ever had times that you had to forego everything you ever built up when you were so close to having something?

The saddest part stems from not even having the right to attribute the "lost" as an actual "lost" because you never had it in the first place.

Oh well, I guess losing is part of gaining too. Life is all about dealing with losses to make way for new gains.
It's just that sometimes we lose track of the inflow and outflow.......
or perhaps sometimes they are beyond our control too.

On the issue of inflow and outflow........Sometimes we get so caught up amidst the drastic inflows and outflows that we become jaded to the extent of not bothering with the intermediate process.
It feels like it's been so inextricably inscribed in our hearts to focus on the end products that we often neglect all the little things in the process.
Perhaps growing up means learning to appreciate all these little things in life :)
Because when the end doesn't feel near, at least you have something to hold on to.....

Labels: thoughts

Time and time again, why do I keep finding myself back to the same spot?
If only I could turn off my emotions like a vampire in vampire diaries.

Need.to.stop.

the more you have, the more you have to lose, the harder it is to let go.

Labels: thoughts