Spoken For

Restoring Mess.  After taking nearly an hour to get to work, I received a call from school saying that my 5 year old daughter had an "accident" and needed to be picked up.  Without thinking much about it, I headed to school and found her at nurse's office.  As soon as she saw me, she hugged me... I could smell the stench few feet away.  This was the second time I had to pick her up in a week.  I took her home and cleaned her up.  How could a sweet and cute little girl make such a mad mess?  I tried to hold my breath as much as I could but it was unpleasant to have to touch it and handle it for the next 30+ mins.  I must have washed my hands ten times in the process and still feeling unclean.  Even after I left home, my mind still can't get rid of that awful odor.  As I reflect, why am I willing to do this for her?  What makes us parents tolerate our children even after they made a mess, totaled the family car or drop out of college?  Well, for one, they are incapable of restoring themselves from the mess that they made.  They may not understand the depth of our love for them but the greater the mess, the greater the intensity of our love for them.  Colossians 1:20 says that "and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of His cross."  Jesus didn't just clean us up with water, nor did he pay our debt with money.  He restored us by the blood of His cross so that we could be like Him; Holy, pure, without blemish, one who is beautiful beyond words.  I am sure, me cleaning up my daughter's mess is not even worth noting compared to the magnificent work that He had to endure for me.  His love rings loud in our mess.  As crazy as this sound, there is beauty in the mess. 

The Marriage Mirror.  Imagine no access to a mirror for a day.  You probably wouldn't notice much of a difference in yourself.  Now, imagine again no access to a mirror for a couple of years.  Perhaps you will be surprised at how messy and long your hair have grown, how many extra wrinkles and grey hair that have developed over the years.  As I reflect on my marriage, I realize I love my wife more today than yesterday.  Why?  The more I understand the Gospel, the more I see my imperfections, my flaws, my selfishness and my resistance to change.  Through my marriage, I see a reflection of myself.  Further, if I look deeper, I see a reflection of God shining back.  Not only is my spouse patient with me, believe in me, encourage me and simply love me, she had to constantly deny herself over and over.  Who does that?  Yes, my spouse has her limits, but God's love is steadfast and there is nothing I do that can make Him love me less and nothing I do that can make Him love me more.  

Greater than we imagine.  We went to Bear Valley for a ski trip.  In the morning, before we headed for the slopes, I took my ring off and put it in my jacket because it was uncomfortable to wear inside my thick Burton gloves.  I had done this several times before and thought nothing of it.  When we were back at the cabin that night, I freaked out because the ring was missing.  As I searched for it, I prayed and prayed, but it could not be found.  I double and triple checked to make sure there were no holes in the pocket.  Where could it be?  It was late in the night and I was exhausted from the day's event, so I reluctantly resorted to sleep on it.

The next morning, a thought occurred to me that the ring might possibly slipped out of my pocket the night before when I pulled out the Thule cargo box keys to load the skis and snowboard.  I searched the loading area with Abigail and it was covered with layers of snow from the night before.  With no luck, a voice prompted me to ask for the lost and found.  I said to myself, "This resort is so big, how can anyone find such a small thing as a ring?  But what the heck... it is worth a try... nothing to lose".

At the counter, the man asked me what did I lose?  I said "my wedding ring".  He said, "that must not be good".  He went to the back and after what seems like an eternity he told me that there was only one ring and it had green stones on it.  When I looked at the ring, disappointment swept over me and I almost burst into tears...  It was my last resort.  The lady next to him behind the counter asked me, "What did you lose?  What color was the ring?"  Inside my mind, I was wondering "why are you asking me lady?"  but told her it was a "silver/platinum ring".  She told me a gentleman dropped off a ring last night before closing and she promptly reached in the pocket of the man next to her.  I couldn't believe it with my eyes.  Still a little skeptical, I examined the inside of the ring, and sure enough it had our name and our wedding date inscription.  Needless to say, everyone in the office was in awe.  Someone said that "it must be a good sign for the marriage."

As I reflect, I am overwhelmed by God's love for me.  Why is He so good to me?  What are the odds of losing a ring overnight and still find it the next day?  What are the odds that some guy would find the ring in the snow/mud in the dark and had the courtesy to drop it off in the lost and found?  What are the odds that despite my doubts, I still ask for it in the lost and found?  What are the odds that the lady overheard my conversation with the man?

God used this to show me that although my faith is small and although I doubted anything would happen despite my prayers, He still cares enough to show me "nothing is too small for Him" and "nothing is impossible for Him".

Increasing Faith. The announcement that our team will be let go prior to the new company's acquisition did not shock me. We had heard several rumors prior and expecting something coming. My only reaction was a bitter one since we knew it was upper management trying to protect their teams in Israel. According to the management, “that was something they should have done many years back.” The sad thing is, no matter how talented you are, how tirelessly you worked, how loyal you were to the company, it all doesn’t matter. Even our director who squeezed and squeezed us for many years, suffered the same fate. We both went through the same resume polishing session. It was difficult going back to the market looking for a job after 10 years. I felt like a fish out of water.

This was the scariest time of my entire career. I have never been laid-off. Sure, I have had friends who had been laid-off, I sympathized with them, but never fully comprehend what they were going through. With me, being the only bread-winner, I had to find something, and it had to be quick. The Cobra “subsidized” program for health insurance was incredibly high, something ridiculous like $2000 per month for the family.

After several interviews, I had 2 offers. I was quite distraught because I was warned that I would have to work crazy hours in both of these companies. Just when I was pressured to pick from these not so attractive offers, another opportunity literally fell out of nowhere. As I was talking to my manager about the fact that I would like to get into an application engineer role, another manager heard me and connected me with the sales guy. Less than a week, I got another offer in hand. Little did I know, this would be the most fulfilling job I have ever had. I love everything about it. Yes, love is a strong word, but I truly love everything about it. I enjoy interacting with customer and solving their issues and best of all, I could do that remotely. Aside from the fact that there was no break in employment, (in fact, I was double paid for 3 weeks because I was on a consultation basis at one company), got a compensation package for being laid-off, a bonus for completing transitional tasks, a sign-on bonus for joining new company, a salary increase, and a big commission for being tied to sales team. All in all, I got to spend more time with my family and my income for the year was 1 ½ times than previous.

Looking back, was there a need to be worried if I had faith in God? God turned something bad into good in a way that I never imagined. If I wasn’t forced to leave my job of ten years, I would not have gone out and looked for new opportunities. As I am writing this, my current company of 7 months just got acquired again. Coincidence? Should I be concerned? Is God testing my faith? This time around, I know things will be okay. I look in anticipation of where God will lead me this time.

Beating the Odds. It was close to 10pm when Yuni picked us up from SFO airport on our way back from Cancun, Mexico. That was when iMel paused from walking to the minivan and blurted out that she had lost her wedding ring. When I saw her face, I knew, she was not kidding. She had wore it on her pinkie during the flight because her fingers had swollen due to pregnancy. She thought the ring might have rolled off while dozing off on the plane, or perhaps it was left behind in the restroom at the baggage claim while helping Abbie putting on warmer clothes before heading out of the airport. iMel tried to reenter the baggage claims restroom but for security reasons, airport authority wouldn’t allow that. She went to the Virgin Airlines counter but they could only take down her name, contact and description of the ring. After few days of continuous follow-up with the lost & found at the airport and the Virgin Airlines personnel, the chances of getting the ring back looked pretty slim. “I am sorry Mam, even if someone found the ring, with an expensive item like that, most likely people wouldn’t return it. The chances of not getting it back is close to 99%.”

I thought about comforting her, by saying I will buy her a replacement ring. But we both know that the new ring wouldn’t have the same meaning. The lost ring was blessed on our wedding day in front of our family and friends and in the presence of God. How can I make retribute for something so symbolic?

The only resort was to turn to God. We knew God has the best plan for us and that there was something for us to learn here. We prayed mightily for His divine intervention and that we had faith in Him who could do miracles. We prayed that He would rebuke anyone who would take the ring and for softening the heart of those who recovers it.

Three days passed. No return calls, no news, nothing. It was then, when I sorted out the luggage, I saw a ring in that pile of dirty laundry. In disbelief, I checked the engravings of my name and her name again and again and still couldn’t believe how it had gotten there. All I can say was there was much kissing and hugging, not just because the ring was recovered, but God can beat the odds.. again.

Learning to Respond Socially. In a few more days, my daughter Abbie will be 5 months old. Watching the video clip below, it amazes me how babies can have such an unrestrained laugh. How did she learn to laugh? Where did she pick it up from? Just a few months ago, her only expression was frowning. Doesn't it amazes you that babies quickly learn that a smile will earn at least as much as a cry? According to Robert Provine, Ph.D., a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Maryland, "laughter is a message that we send to other people. We know this because we rarely laugh when we are alone." In much of the same way, instinctively we send a message to babies when we smile back to them. So by all means, learn to smile.