Corrections for essays..common errors

This is the essay posted by Farah. I is a good effort.   Anyone care to correct some of the common errors?  I have highlighted the errors.  The yellow highlights show the serious errors, blue - word usage..and red - spelling.


Fea and I had been friends since primary school. We were so close as we did almost everything together. We were also well known as one of the top students in our school. Eventhough we were in different classes, but we still dear to each other. Fea was also my neighbour. Which made us become even closer.

It was the second day of school since it was started on 3rd January 2011. A new girl named Nazirah registered at our school. She became popular drastically as she was beautiful and rich. Most of the boys were attracted to her. Everyone wanted to be her friends including me. That was the moment I started neglecting Fea. She noticed that I wanted to make Nazirah pay attention to me.

"What are you doing now? You have left me for that new girl." Fea asked me. I did not give any response to her. I just walked away without even looking at her. After a few steps, I turned and I noticed there were tears falling from her eyes. Maybe she was hurt by the way I treated her. I did not care about other matters. All I knew was, I needed to befriend with Nazirah. I did not want Fea to be an interrupter in my life.

A few days later, Nazirah and I had been friends. We were together no matter where we went. Rumors about Nazirah and I were spreading all over the school. They said I had been Nazirah's follower as I was there where ever she was. I started to abandon my studies and my results dropped terribly. I was afraid to to show my result to my parents as I was one of the top students before. Finally, no matter how hard I hide it, they knew about y result. They were really angry with my behavior when I tried to lie to them. I was grounded and my pocket money was cut. I was sad and stressed up.

I tried to ask for Fea's help but no avail. She did not wanted to help me. She said that was my problem not hers. So she asked me to stay away from her. I was shocked. I never thought she would ever did that. Out of sudden, I realised I was nobody to her. While I was having a major problem in my studies, to pick up every lessons that I learnt back, Fea came.

"I am always here for you." Fea put her hand on my shoulder. I was shocked with Fea appearance at my house. I never thought that she still wanted to be my friend. I realised that Fea never left me. She kept her eyes on me from far away. I bursted into tears. I asked for forgiveness and she just smiled and nodded her head. I was really thankful that Fea still wanted to befriends with me again and that was the happiest moment in my l

Linking words and phrases

Linking words and phrases are very useful to make your paragraphs cohesive.

Go to this website and make a printout


https://www.dlsweb.rmit.edu.au/lsu/content/4_writingskills/writing_tuts/linking_LL/linking3.html