{RE-DESIRE// NICC-IN

Friday, December 30, 2005

title:{ }

back from OTC. not as fun as FOC. why? cos as the name states, its a training camp. ahaha. its more of training than play i should say.

BEENOX.

thats gonna be my empire next year.

All the best.

I should say i dont want that taboo we did in day 1 to happen again. not to GLs, not to freshies. its because of the internal conflicts we had in day 1 which resulted in us falling so far behind. well, but all in all, we sorta bonded after that. esp that fiery confliction at 2nd days briefing. now i see how important it is to tell everyone in their faces what u are unhappy abt. it worked wonders, at least for us.
so from now on, i shall tell everyone =X

ok la, anyway, i still feel i aint a leader from inside. i dont have the soul of a gl yet. i dont have ideas flowing in, i dont have the quick solving problems ability as well. sigh. i realli gotta train from now on. this is not a camp, this is a competition. not with others, its with myself.

i realise how much effort is put in during argon's time. the GLs. yepp. i really gotta say, we've got the best GLs. they may not be the nicest, but they're great. every one of them. its the GLs fault if the freshmen dont get Ra ra! so yeah, its alooooot of work. but im gonna work on it.

BEENOX CHARISMAAAAAAAAAAA

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ok actualli i feel that im late for 4e1's potluck

=X

BYE

10:37 PM;

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

title:{ }

Orientation leaders training camp tmr!!! OTC!

get ready GLs!

next yr's freshies will have another BLAST!

wahahah

best of luck to my friends,

esp to ryll, sandee, changyong, lex, kenneth etc.

hope we all manage to get in FOC/06!

GANBATTE KUDASAI!

9:56 AM;

Monday, December 26, 2005

title:{ mondayyy}

woke up at around 12 today. see what tonning can do to you! tired days ahead, come eye bagss. hows that!

basically my chrismas was spent watching narnia and spraying at orchard road till parklane , dota till around 2 i think. then cab back to berts place . there was bert, weicong, karadx and siew fong. karads lost his phone. sad, but he'll get a new one soon la. of coz. =p

oh yeaa.need to put this down. the BOONZ lost a chrismas present given to him. disgusting boonz. boonsification! u shall be condemnedd. i shall tell =X jk haha

there can only be one boonz in this world and that is YOU! MWAHAHAHAHA

oh yeah the whole night was filled with AH NEHS on the streets shooting foam at ppl . hahah

anyway peeps, me handphone is in suet's hands so dont bother calling / sms-ing me for time being. i wont be able to reply you.

met the head-gang [aka small head n bighead] at parklane today. then waited for akarads arrival. went bugis village. shopped awhile.not tt fruitful . the things i got, nothing special like the ones i got the other time.abit boring.. drum awhile. then off orchard for the argon's post chrismas dinner.

more like a gl dinner, only alan, angel,iskandar went. we met brandon along the way so we dragged him there.hahas. did some shopping, saw a limey greeenish ripcurl pants. whew. damn nice from near, look pasar malam from far. but nice. =X . anyway dinner at pasta mania. damn fun with these guys, they have the super friendly aura around them. =\.

oh ya,met derry and the [i forgot her name but shes in main comm in otc] .haha. decided to walk to ps. snapped alot of shots, but the group became smaller by time. ryll was constantly finding yam ice cream, and threw it away after a few bites after she found it but felt it taste wierd. haiz. PEANUTS POWDER! xD

left with derry, parted with him at dbg. went on to city hall, peninsular plaza for dota. hahaas. oh yea i heard a girl with maid accent say "i bought at 50 percent" and made fun of it and entertained myself xD!!!

HHAHAHAHA

lex says his dmgf sux! But then if his sux i shud not even consider playin le! THEREFORE! SHH IT DOES NOT SUX!. u can look at me if u feel it sucks k!

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shall spend this hols to the max.

traces coming back on 30th. YES!

i love using medusa

i need to learn to put faith in my drumsticks

my dm and gf is amoung the suckiest so i must improve faster,hope within this week. but theres much to do too

im so not gifted.

this hols i really need to brush up my kanji.

i wana find more clothes to show my true self /life/emotions each day. not the same old thing.

byebye old nic.

gl-ification?=)

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9:26 AM;

Thursday, December 22, 2005

title:{ CMSY}

woo. its like a fantastic miracle that ive just finished studying for cmsy at macs just now! oh man. roughly started to really study with aisha and gerald at around 2.45pm, when my laptops dead. read the full compiled version of sheena's notes for lecture 1-8. and woo im completed. perhaps that makes up for my 9/12 lectures which i did not attend huh.=P

so now i feel confident once again. Hope ill get an A at least la, that'll be my wish for my last paper. for that all id like to thank aisha and gerald for coming to boon keng macs to study with me as well as for sheena's notes! man , w/o it the lecture slide would have been one toooo many. and i MEAN MANY. never ending slides.

above all that, tommorow is finally hols for me! yeahhh. OTC is nearing, yahooo! Im gonna GL-lise myself. then im gonna pass through all tests to be a GL in freshman orientation camp. and finally transfer valuable thinkings and mind sets to my year ones. yeah!

also a class BBQ! C116's first. i sorta cant wait hehh. ive always dreamt of a class bbq or something, didnt know it'll happen, cos being with a class in poly is normally a short period. guess im wrong!

4e1's potluck gathering at ryan's house. another hoo-haa-yahoo-ish thing! its been long since ive seen my fellow 4e1s, kinda miss seeing them. ill try my best to go..

steam boat or 4e1? Im really deciding now. i want both =X

hope nothing clashes.

anyway back to reading through the tutorials. then ill make it off to bed. sleep.sleep.sleep. cmsy term test, then bugis with josh and lex bros.

ill be waiting.

6:06 AM;

Sunday, December 18, 2005

title:{ }

whoohooo! finally done with my blogskin! spent quite awhile with this. let me announce, I DREW THAT PIC AND COLOURED IT ALL BY MYSELF! yes, that pic to ur left. xD that took awhile, then colouring took awhile, putting in the shadows and stuff. then insertin it into the skin pic, bla blabla. actually it took ages! but im quite proud considering this my first try at a blogskin of my own drawing. mannn im quite happy actually. =)

oh yea. might as well blog.

yesterday saw something cheryll showed me in her magazine. about proximity friends. how many people you meet these days are really friends who you will go on with another maybe 10years down the road? actually there are symptoms to tell if ur friend is a proximity friend. who do u first think of when you wana watch a movie? or do you just ask hu wana watch movie on msn. when u flip thru a sec sch book, u see a fren whom uve been really close with, u juz cant remember his or her initials, juz that u know tt he or she loved certain things back then. if this is so, he or she could just be ur proximity friend. more like a friend u are close with during that period of time only, due to similar work/sch places, you are put together, and bonds start. after tt period of time, ur friends change, then u get further from him/her. it goes on, so in actual fact, if ur really lucky, u only have one or two real friends. come to think of it, i fear that all my friends are proximity friends. once we graduated from sec, we only contact through msn. thats a symptom. u tend to forget them, they will forget u as well. then you go on to poly, you meet new friends, form new proximity bonds, what next? I really wonder what will happen after poly. if you have no common interest ,thinking whatsoever with your close friends, you will be losing them after certain stages.

cos for all i noe , i fear a stage in life which would be coming really soon, after poly, perhaps after ns. there will come a time when all u have from pri, sec, poly, ns. all ur friends, they'll be gone. u will feel terribly alone. those 'great' bonds you forged might cease to exist.

well it happens. just wait and see.

sigh. for now, i hope who i have in my list of friends are not proximity. they are cherished yeah, i wun wanna give them up. but of course, there are chances of them giving me up. reality happens always. what im hopin is just one, two, or three friends i can continue being with 10 20 years down the road. i believe these are the friends u can give your life for.

so, let me create array of friends i can continue with 10 20 years down.

Friend[] trueFriend = new Friend[100];

=X. hahas.

im still finding friends to insert into this array.

for one i know, i think i can confirm it, suet nee is one i can already put into this list of friends i can go on with. 10 years friends with her aint no joke or illusion. so thanks suet. at least i identified one friend. whos next? =]

-i hope u all are-

9:49 AM;

Thursday, December 15, 2005

title:{ }

cmsk project is over! though screwed up but the food was nice.

DMV2 is here in singapore today! losta cool lookin interfaces and nice cool songs. MTVs are damn nice too.i cant wait to get a hold of em. espacially JJ ROAD! I finally got to play it today . quite difficult la one part, so only got an A.sigh.

this time JJ road seems like its gonna be a 'doki doki' for me, the first song which i fall in love in a new mix, and i will start to keep trainin it till i get constant S. well hope its possible like doki doki.

can i go all out to max out my dm skills this time.?

DMV2 feels like a new begginning. the songs.. hm, really a new feel. i think its more difficult. alot more.

STAY by sleep choker is cool too.basically its damn nice la.

oh man. i did have something to type about today. but im really shagged out. 2 days of 8ams is really killing. no , this week i 8am then 7.30am.

...zzzzz......

9:41 AM;

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

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went to sch at 8 for project meeting this morning. damn tired.supposed to be 2pm end sch . but drag till 7.30 pm. cos of class decoration. sigh damn tired la. every week, tot its gonna be a lighter week, it will still turn out the same. tmr would be actualli 2pm end also, but 4pm theres a make up lab for fndb..sigh. 4-6 then. 6pm end. whats the diff. everyweek theres such shit. my only resort is to skip it all. i realli cant stand the schedule. its so screwed.sigh. but then again, i care abt my work, i know once i miss things time and effort is needed to gain tt required knowledge. in the end im losin out in the long run. im juz killing myself like that. what to do.I will start to hate myself bit by bit if i fail papers. therefore i must not fail.

saw a cute little boy at boon keng MRT today. I realise i always see him and his mum at DBG. he will be running about, with his blue boots. quite cute la, reminds me of me in the past kinda feeling, but hes cuter . then he was at the lift makin noise about not goin into the earlier lift, thn his mum cant stand him. then he say things like "I need to kiieeww yoouu". haha. damn funny. then the mum is like "kill your head la". kids like these are stil nice and innocent. innocence is really gold. why do kids nowadays lose their innocence at such young age? p5, p4..start le. why. once u pass the innocence part of ur life, everything is complicated. people will say things about you, whatever you do, people say you're acting. puting on a false image. treat ur friends damn nice, others might say ur hypocrite, tryin to get somethin outta ur friends. people start to assume. lookin from afar, u predict tt a person is a bitch/bastard without even knowing that person. friendships no longer remain simple like when ur little kids, running and catchin with each other all day long. it becomes alot of underneath that mask kinda thing. friends speak bad about their close friends to other friends? friends who are real good together actually hate each other . they act as though their the bestest friends. people start to get close and know a friend just to squeeze some good stuff for themselves, to gain popularity? to gain fame? in projects, you start to suck up to the ones who can do it well and try to isolate those who aint tt good. til that point of time, innocence no longer lives in you. the world becomes complicated and unfair.

of coz nothing is happenin for me la. im just kindof sharing my 2 cents. of coz i hope i dont have any of such friends, nor do i wish i am that kind of a friend. All I want is for it to be simple. as simple as possible eh?

many things in life we may regard as stupid/retarded or as unsignificant, but they may be the most fun, enjoyable and memorable kind of things in your life that make you rich in your character. rich in your life. they can actually make you, you.

right at this very moment some people readin this might be thinking, aiiyaa, bullshiting again nic. well ive nothing to say. just that perhaps its beyond u to understand what im saying or u just dont look at life close enough yet.

alright. tmr sch at 7.30 to prepare for the presentation. i really gotta wake up.

my aim tmr is to finish fndb lecture notes. all that ive missed. then cmsk.notes notes notes! time to make use of free time man. cannot waste it.

8:12 AM;

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

title:{ }

feeling so stressed. is not stressed with term test, im being stressed with myself.! whats wrong with me!

im tryin to learn to manage time and multitask certain things to make me more NORMAL. but i cant!!! I CANT!

I grapse things damn slowly. slower than most people. that already sux, i complete tasks slower also. comon wheres the time !! i dun have so much time in the world!!
i still need to do so many other things. I cant stand myself. Another thing is i think too much.

Spend too much time on some things , usually work. and suck at most things in the end . what for. i duno. i juz cant let go things like people. i hate it when a person can slack and let go of things ur supposed to prioritize , sickeningly let go of subjects u think u cant do well or cant pass, give up on it.Play ur life away. Worry about things next time, blame the whole world about what u did not achieve.
WHAT THE FUCK FOR. these people shud die. but im just generalising. Maybe im just jealous. i really dun have the ability to let go. for that, whenever i think of doin other things, work rushes back into my mind. and i forgo. yA WHATEVER U ALL THINK. im juz constant paranoid ok. i cant help it. I CANT FUCKIN HELP IT!!!

i wanna do things in life that i wanna do, not averaging it but to the best of my abilities. I hope my DM improves too. yet it is stayin put now. time is another factor. i dono y i dun have the time .

i seem like im always busy. its not that, im just a lousy person hu cant do things fast. i look upon my work seriously , my pride in work is just too heavy. i hate it.

whats up with me

guess that hatred is developing.
is it darkness already inside or is it my kind of light..

for now , i juz wish everythin will go well. hope i pass term test. hope ill be a great gl who is able to connect people. hope i improve on skills i like as well as games i really like.

for that and all. i will change.

8:50 AM;

Sunday, December 11, 2005

title:{ }

am skipping the 1st fndb lecture of the day. damn sch is gettin so hectic cant stand.

didnt sleep for 2 days ! saturday went pinko house for food fest with the DM people, then did abit of IDES, I tot IDES was due on wednesday all along. I cant believe what i was makin believe in-_- wats wrong wif me sia. it was only on sunddday that i realised the deadline was monday. played zong ji mi ma and another similar game , with penalty of Basic/Advance/Extreme/Extreme + mix of whisky, beer , blablabla, oh muz mention, RIBENA! xD.

hmm, actually didnt go seh but after drinkin the can andrew passed me , i think i was abit la. but still alright. haha, partly cos im tired also. Went home at 11 +am, then DTX! then decided to chiong the IDES layouts etc. oh man. its the worst. i cant get tables to work.duno whats wrong with usin layers.bleah makes everythin so much more easy la.

chiong to akarads,ting's, chu's & lin'g's joined bday celebration at cine. slack abit at tt restaurant of many BALLS. then went pool at meridan. came back at around 12. -_- then chiong IDES again. hahaha went to print out those things.

ok gtg to sch now. 9.19am. haii. sianz. not goin sch again tmr. my ÓFF "off day"

haha

some ppl around me juz does things that disgust me . it realy insults me in a way. heh. yuck.

5:11 PM;

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

title:{ }

argh. so many assignments due-ing. so little time shitt!

how i wish i had more time to study for term test. argh no more hopes
of average As. =( sigh why i slack so much this term!

And im sick le. cold + cough. fever anytime. nooooooo! i cant fall sick
at such a time-_-.

ja na

5:27 AM;