{RE-DESIRE// NICC-IN

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

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==>How I wish I could just disappear.

==>Is history which happened in sec4 repeating once again

==>If tts the case.ill handle it the same way I handled it back then

==>goodbye..?Perhaps.

==>Hate accomodations on purpose. get lost ?

==>hah no one needs to know what im talking about here.

feel so shagg after so much DDR wif traces, the new DDR freak. come chilli powder freak. absolutely addicted to the crispy chicken. =)

shall go sleep le. feel too tired to do anything at all.

8:54 AM;

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8:54 AM;

Monday, November 28, 2005

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its 2 mins to 3am. and i supposingly have school at 9am tmr. woo

just made a damn simple blogskin cos i was damn tired of the previous one already. haha. i kinda like it, its simple. xD

oh yeah. the song blasting, its from FlyToTheSky. ive always liked their songs. damn nice, juz like shinhwa. the difference is that they sing more soothing love kinda songs while shinhwa used to be rock. i realise so many chinese songs have been sung by translating korean songs. such as missing u. that was a fly2thesky single! ok bt anyway, no1 cares. cos most people only care about music they understand. somehow, thats narrow-mindedness of singaporeans. though ive got to admit, its improving.

did IDES at macs juz now, hand damn pain. design students life are so hectic! I really pity those full time design students! they face multiple such projects.like omg. its not easy takin design man. it requires alot of time and effort if what you're producin is going to be a nice design pleasin to the eyes. If we design in the shortest possible time we can, it would definately look less appealing, sometimes it turns out not so nice too. thats what i learnt. good designs cant be rushed.

i soo need a haircut. fast. its growin damn long. HAIR GROWS FAST!
'quoted from booNz-' xD but im not ex . its albert =X

guess id better turn in. time to dream.

ja .

to sN: REMEMBER! UR act cjhkdbd is always here. tl-forever =X

10:58 AM;

Sunday, November 27, 2005

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nice sunday this is. went to bugis with traces , was actually on msn, juz askin her if wana go shop for abit one of this days, then it became today. hahas. its really last minute. she actually wanted to go ryll, but ryll did not wake up so she was gona buy stuff alone. so happened i asked her.lols

i really love bugis now sia. its a heaven come maze, which i dont mind getting lost in. Got to know one shop guy and his wife i think. like a sweet couple. cool de.. like ahlian + ahbeng , good version. bought quite a few stuff, nice pair of red-cuts straight cut long pants, 2 shirts, a new pair of specs. oh yeah and a bag. yahoo! its a total let out of many months of controlling.

spent too much le . hai i better save. my prob, i eat too ex in sch!

went to dbg for awhile, played GF. then one round of DM, (hai cos now e-amuse, que like so long. very sian sia). i think the song sunflower girl rox! It makes me feel that im actually in love. but the thing is that i do not know who la. Perhaps its true im in love, yet I do not realise who im in love with. I think, for tat and I, the cure to our depressions would be gettin a girlfriend.someone whos there and really cares for you to realise your meaning of existance. thats it.the cure of loneliness, sadness, despair. thats only for those la.

ohyea, recently im addicted to the crispy chicken at PS B1. its dammmn nice. i like sour plum powder as well. it totally blends the taste well. i always end up buyin 2 packets a day. so much for money on food-_-

anyway, shouji is damn funny guy.hahah. he used to eat spicy food, now he doesnt. and is scared O_O. lols. is damn funny .haha. shouji is a one in a million type of people ive met.quite an interesting character lolz.

anyway recently abit weary of what i talk about to sf. like around 3weeks ago till now ba. i think i seem to keep sayin wrong things, things making her disgusted, irked, stirrs her mood , makin her flare up sometimes. maybe ive been pessimistic enuff to irk her now le . so ive decided not to bother her much about those stupid stuff im feeling anymore. actually i find that i have to face most or all things myself for em to be solved. its mostly the case. which is part of growin up. its quite painful for an overall process.it sux. im hopin, for all i am now, ill be an outstandin person when i grow up. i dont want to remain an average, lousy, good for nothing person, at least, i wana bloom. else, i dont find a reason for me to live. sometimes i really wonder.. in the eyes of a third party, how irritating am i at times? i truly wana see.

somethings happened again. hope both parties are alright. both of em are amoung my most precious friends in my life. yeah.

1:15 AM;

Thursday, November 24, 2005

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woo today is bhss prom. Alvin goh was prom prince. not bad. but actually it was expected. haha he looks like some kinda bai ma wang zi in sch anyway. esp with his band uni. so ya can picture la huh. xD congrats!

then inch was prom princess. fiona was in as well. haha id say both are good in their own ways la. now, i reeeeaaalllyy wanna see those prom pics . esp of em both. I WAN I WAN!!! cant wait for the next few days!! send send send!

Even though im not there, feelings of prom night sorta fill me up inside. Really nice, I still cant believe ive been to that kind of grand event ? hahahs. really tried so hard to look nice that day ba. tried to sleep early for 2 months, save up for accesories. went shopping at wisma with my bros jori n karadx for clothes, my suit from G2000. got my hair bleached ash green-ish gold.. BATA shoes at shaw plaza.. hahah. thats the period i no longer had to worry about studies all of a sudden, feelin so damn light! Duno why but im feelin it now. *but ive got long day at sch tmr =S

at this very moment the sec4s are enjoyin la. at a chalet.lols. ok at least mine we stayed at a hotel.. hoho. 'stayed'. i was walkin all around orchard , to cine etc. in that suit. parklane. haaha i still remember wantin so much to play drums in that suit, but i didnt do it in the end. will be so zai la. i was still feelin so free and easy with drummania last time. thats why i had all these thoughts, always. now, kinda tired of my inability to improve fast enough. machiam a laggin server . anyway. forget abt tt dowana tok abt it. back to prom.
-ryll was named HOT. -ryy was prom king. -krys wore all hot pink.nice. -took a CS pic with lucas. -group of 4girls behind me pic -pic with siew fong, short hot mini skirtster=X - traces with spikey stylo hair. -akarad with BLACK + highlighted hair.. -sandi with cool boots -adels wif 'i muz take alot alot alot of photos' mentality. and her plan to do voting on the shuaiest guy on her blog which has no price=X .

FUNN and nice. im missin it all. =(

why am i not enjoyin the current life at all? Everything is turnin so damn complicated. i dun seem to see simple stuff around anymore, everythin seems linked to one or more other things. as in relationships. hm

1:22 AM;

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

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so damn tireddddd.... today another long day. 9am to 9pm. everyday is hectic. blowin me down! after sch met ricky n veracia n gang in library so they sat with us to slack till 6pm for jap lecture. got to know doreen, whom I surprisingly talked to once in week 1 of TP and even asked for her contact anyhow =X. thumbs up for her rememberin me! at least now, i can remember her . I didnt even recognise her until she told me. then i had the ying xiang. but now shud be better, i can take things in better and remember.

went to iguides sub com trainin. not bad la, its regular chaotic wacky ppl . thats what i like abt tp committee ppl.lOlz. its juz retarded

had to do a retarded pole dance cos i "won" after joinin a funny game at 7.15pm. stupid forfeit! All thanks to Angel. so i sabo-ed her back. wakakakakakakakaka. Shi ne!

after everythin went for dinner at kfc with lex. loong long day. gonna sleep liao. juz now went to browse lex old entries out of boredom. lolz. read those sem 1 postings. time really passes so fast, those things tt happened is but a mere dream now i cant even feel that it has even happened before. poly life, so swift. I hope i can become a gl like lex's ba, passin on a msg to next year's freshies abt makin as many frenx as they can in their 3years, cos loneliness will cease once there are friends around. that i agree very much. tt i too want to spread to my freshies. that is, IF i get in GL la. im doubting so. have my fingers crossed.

feel like cuttin hair short to let it grow again n take better care of it this time. then ill wear a cap to stylise myself. of coz stil have to be presentable in foc la. so muz be careful. wana go shoppin man. so many things i wana do . this sat is java competition n I-guides workshop. ill be quitin drums in a months time.. sighh

i wonder whats happenin but the world is changing. people arent what they used to be. is everybody going .. crazy..

12:05 AM;

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12:05 AM;

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

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*DELETED*
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today i skipped all lectures. and was late for jap tutorial. why? cos i met yunlong on the way to TM , century square to play drum in my 3hr break.haha so after my drum session both of us were clueless of what to do, so chatted all the way. went to macs. chat unknowingly till 4pm. pro ba. 4pm was the start of our tutorials.lolz.
and i left my wallet n cheryls poster back there. =| luckily i realised n ran back. argh. so reachd sch at 4.30pm.parted with long, but, i forgot the way to my tutorial room! went to blk 17 la, but went to lvl4 instead of 5. so called dawn.lols. so blurr. argh n tmr, its gonna be another horrid long day. 9am-9pm. sighh. sch is damn hectic i feel so tired.

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btw albert is ex also. ex in his unique way. super ex. he doesnt have sch on my HECTICLY HECTIC days summore. and asks me out for dinner , then eats dinner on his own first. then thoughts of PS-ing go thru his head. ex-ness. overall. EX! =X.

-at this moment he asks me to buy an MC when i said he doesnt have sch therefore its ex-

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im also ex. tt one dun say le. im juz ex to the core i find it amuzin editin my pics sadistically now. juz tt it turns out freaky, i feel better lookin at me that way. sick bastard. forget it la nic.unworthly useless shit.

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nights ppl. im off to bed

1:31 AM;

Monday, November 21, 2005

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nic nic nic nic nic...

whats going on.

perhaps it first started when my dear pride was torn.

did it escalate?

the laughters seemed immensed
the thoughts seemed numerous.

all this was going on till i realised nic has stopped halfway on a one way road. he aint himself anymore. cos nic is lost , realising he no longer laughed out loud and sjb-ly out of no reason or a trivial matter,realising his lost of expressions he could once potray. Now a guy whos with a sleepy worn out face? no matter if hes awake or asleep. he potrays an uninterested look , even if he was interested.

being quite helpless in things. what could he do.

looking from a third-eye view's, what is nic really good at?
nothing really. hes not really really good in anything at all.
nothin he does extremely well in

lookin from a fourth-eye, its still the same.

sigh.gettin too tired to type. typin this kinda rubbish onli ends me up in scoldings. haiz. and so, i am wierd again...zzzzz. nights.-_-

2:03 AM;

Saturday, November 19, 2005

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im the laughing stock of so many things. greatest laughin stock even in serious situations. Fuck the life i live.

useless.

tsuyokunakerebanarimasen..

2:52 AM;

Friday, November 18, 2005

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alot of suay stuff keep happenin this few months. perhaps my luck is reali being down or a spirit is with me. i duno.

twice almost knocked down by cars, my java assignment 0, and today, some stupid misunderstandin with some guys.

i dowana tok about it la. its a waste of my time. maybe after this more trouble will still arise. I dont realli care but i hope theres less such troubles.or none. IM ALREADY FUCKING STRESSED UP BY THIS FUCKIN STUDYIN ALREADY. I CANT BE BOTHERED WITH SUCH STUPID FUCKIN STUFF. misunderstandings can go to such heights. sigh

its times like these i see through things. I see through people.
and when i finalli noe a person.

dont try to get info out of me cos thats info for me and onli me.

the whole time of tt incident all i thought was to be positioned closer to josh. all i wanted to was to even a small extent, be able to shield him ba. i duno what i was thinkin but thats all it is. the acer teacher whom sorta "caused" this misunderstandin wasnt even kao de ju. he seemed useless.

u guys think its a funny thing when i tell u all about the thing.cos its picturin me inside such situations right. im the clown. cos its ME. actualli i dun wana hear anything. FUCK IT

5X2.. i think u guys rock cos u guys were always there. thats a family for us. lex too. always there. even wenting was there.. and teck hong. i guess, a million thanks. coolest guy. quite a buddy . without him the situation wud have gotten worst too perhaps. nigel too.practically whole class in short la.

school is sucky enough. i need no extra stress thrills. ok then . finished this post. suay life.
why bother apologizin for some1 else? dont need to do such things ba.

funny..funny..funny...

1:18 AM;

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

title:{ what the}

damn tired.so shagged. arms shaking, brains wrecked.
smile shattered. eyes red. rings darkened. java-ly... SHAGGED.

sleepin at 6am and goin to sch at 11 was SUPER TIRING. juz for chionging the robocode java which goes nowhere.but i wan it to at least be a better functional smarter bot, though the chances of it winnin is still near 0.

anyway, got the wall method to work with the help of pak san today. I think w/o him we wud have still been in deep shit. added crap here n there which seemed to make no difference.. oh well. but handin in the crap tmr. but at least, IT IS A FUNCTIONAL BOT!

i kinda regret slacking. im taken aback at the number of really IT savy experts there are in IT school. it has never occured my mind that there wud be such outstandin people around still. perhaps im too used to the slackish environment tt i kinda get uneasy when theres new challenges around. IT pros.. java savy. I guess it will take me another few years to reach that kinda standard ba. joining this Robocode competition made me realise quite alot of things. you should nv underestimate any task, slackin away the time given only brings u pain and shaggness when the times up. Life is short, grapse as much as u can before u go down.hao ba. lesson learnt. dun expect any results from me on this competition this time, cos there aint any hard work in it . juz last minute chionging. thats a diff story.

anyway, went dinner wif josh after goin to the lab after my CDS. damn shag but we decided to not join the group of ppl doin robocode. both of us wanted a rest ba, somehow or another. I CANT STAND THE STRESS anyway. =X . OK, anyway, found out josh n me were in the same kindergarden! qiao-ness. I never imagined id meet any1 one kinderland de.lol. tt place so historic..and, red? and..hahas. duno. i dun even noe where it is. =X.

gonna sleep. 4.30am.. hmm

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

juz a pic i edited outta stress n boredom..

12:17 PM;

Thursday, November 10, 2005

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slept the whole way through ytd when i came home, aftr my dinner and show tt is. i guess shaggness conceals itself until one lies onto the bed.

anyway, wana blog abt some things tt happened yesterday xD
PS: Kelvin, IT WUN BE SO LONG DE!only yesterday k xD

ok, anyway, ytd lex was goin into the gents while me n josh waited for him, and he came out wif a WTF! look xD! u know why? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

COS HE SAW A GUY MASTURBATING AT THE URINAL! And is the nerd kinda IT guy. and upon sensing lex's presence, he FLUSH THE URINAL MANY TIMES TO GET WATR FROM THE URINAL FLUSH TO CLEAN HIS PENIS! OMG. OMG. OMG. I tell u his tt thing will corode man,! imagine the chemicals... the million times people urinated at that spot the water was taken from. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cudnt stop laughin LOLZ. RETARDED!!! xD

okok, then had a rather ok but boring IDES designin sub. hai . anyway, feel that the tutor kinda dun like me.hahas. juz that feeling, the way he looks at me. anyway guys, OTC FORM IS UP! its the trainin form for GLS of TPSU. go take it before this week ends. maybe nxt week still have la, but go now. dun wait till its too late. mix in to the GLs first. HAVE FUN! then after tt its FOC time ! ARGON !!!!

accompanied 'lex-itive' to jap lecture. kinda paiseh sia, same lecturer as me. if he recognised me, i think he muz be thinkin, mad guy. xD

ok, anyway, SHE seems attatched now. its a happy thing for her ba. all the best.
but im ok, im alright. =] SONIC BLOW! let the past mutate into memories, kept in time.

10:00 AM;

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

title:{ EXDR}

im back blogging. juz finished tweakin the sample codes of "Wall" tank for robocode. seems workin to have rather high rates of surviver. haha i juz hope it pawns the rest of the competitors dry! =X or maybe im askin for too much for a little work.hahaass. one should push their luck tooo far.

testing the tank against derek's tmr.

had jap tutorial today. i felt wierd la, in fact i feel wierd. cos its like doing things all over again, without any hiragana in jap. it feels different, but everythings totally too basic. sigh, cud it been a mistake choosin jap? cos i already know jap to that standard stage le..

Feel like going back to Inoue to continue my Intermediate I. ill wana choose my class. i wonder if theres any class for me left la, im missing for so long. nowadays i seem really anti-social. cos i aint sayin or initiating conversations with people anymore. whatever happened to that anything also a hello nick? hahas. o well. FOC, im waiting. dreamin about FOC with pei today.lolz. anyway tokin about anti-social-ness in me, i met yihuai,ksheng n their fren. was on my way to toa payoh for awhile. the whole journey i didnt tok to their fren haha, i wasnt even tryin to tok, till he tapped me n struck a conver. cos he sian ba, i also felt sian .haha. but nice guy la. comparing me with the old me in june, wow. what a change. -_-

Anyway, im a EXDR la. Ive been thinking about myself latey,I really realise IM NOT A GOOD FRIEND afterall.Speakin generally la, im quite a bad friend. I seem to say things out without thinkin if its irksome or emotional triggering to my friends.worst thing is, i onli realise what kind of effect i have caused on em after a few weeks. slow and insensitive ba. I should understand that each and every one of em have their own likings, own kinds of lifestyle, own thinkings blablabla. is that so hard.. when they treat me well i seem to take it for granted and i realise things only after i lost something. when things take a new form moulding it back takes time? Im also slow at catchin things, I dont seem to be able to be there for my friends when they're down n depressed, whereas they were here for me when i was in tt state. what did i do? i think made some stupid meaningless and senseless comments which makes no sense, sometimes without noticin i laugh even? imature-_-. cant help em in times of need.not dependable. well, i cudnt even make a friend happy. not anyone, not even be able to plan anythin for my bros bday -_-. quite a sucker la me. I treasure u guys more than anything, the contradictory is I cant do anything for u all. sigh.Im really sorry.. when.will.i.grow.up...

school kinda sucky. or still in the hols mood. it juz feels different.

1:11 AM;

Thursday, November 03, 2005

title:{ back!}

Im back from chalet. actually not supposed to la. supposed to stay there for 1 more night but aiya nthn to do . abit age gap with the juniors, like er, the guys hai hao la.feel ok, the girls. erm. ? lol i didnt mix with that group of girls last time and some of em, EX! vulgur to the limits and i feel irked. but others ok la, the 888 gang ppl. ok la. janice they all, ok la. constance also ok la.=X ok duno what im saying . but overall nv really tok to the girls. childish =X

i stay in the hall to play naruto ps2 nia hohoho. so cool la. sasukes moves rox. xD

muz DTX more to win =X the combo to cast move. wahah.last night they watched the Wig. walaos. wanted to join e group but, too tired. was telling myself i will join em in the middle of the show where the juicy parts are, but when i woke up its already sunrise ! then all were like "lets go bath ! go swim " bla bla.. -_-""

oh yea, forgot to say about a creepy thing. me bert n fongs were headin to cheers in the night when a lorry drove past, it was speeding. then minutes later, it turned back, and drove past us. this time its on our side of the lane! SPEED SIA.damn fast,bert even had to use kawarini no jutsu to dodge =X its like juz beside us when it passed us la. AND SPEED. in the middle of the night. its almost like a senseless thing. wonder whats with the driver. pocessed? i take it as drunk ba.

went dbg awhile. wished norman happy birthday, then came home, cudnt take it le.lol.
slept till 9+++. ms awhile. now gonna watch my naruto 158! long waited! Ja ne.

12:27 PM;

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

title:{ sasuke coloring}

was feeling bored so felt like colouring a pic. using photoshop. my first try =)

Sasuke of course. haha. downloaded the comic strip from the next and added in colours. comments! xD Sasuke rox.

4:31 PM;