{RE-DESIRE// NICC-IN

Friday, October 29, 2004

title:{ }

"Welcome To My Life"

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

5:20 PM;

Monday, October 25, 2004

title:{ grandpa}

wahoo! grandpa cooked me 2 eggs for me this evenin. hehe.. kinda happy , truly hope to be able to stay with him longer since he's onli 1/2 a lung left to breathe? shud be kinda tirin getting cancer of the lungs and with it emerging to this level.. sighh. Just hope i'd be able to set aside some time to make it to my grandparents house for dinner these days. Dad is continuously remindin me and tellin me to go see n visit grandpa.. but ive always stayed home to study? heh.

But my dads like tellin me better to see him more often and spend more time with him before its too late. Hope i'd be able to.. ive realised as i grew older i seem to have drifted realli far apart from him. Way too far, perhaps a thousand miles away? even a million.. and i sorta find it difficult to tok more with him now. sighh. yeah, of course, i wont forget how close we were when i was still a little kid, he was the one closest to me. brought me all the way to my kindergarden at bukit timah everyday and played with me most of the time. could still remember he liked bringin me out for walks in the afternoon. Marina square..yeah.. his favourite place.haha. that time tt place was dull man.. half the floorings had small rivers flowin through. but it was fun yeah. lol.

Its lucky that ive kept these memories within me. of course, memories are just memories.. we cant alter them, neither can we make them. they're nice.. but that's all they are...

thought i could take it but it appears that as i was typin these things out, it made me scared. even made tears emerge.. sigh. perhaps im not that prepared after all. just realised.. im not fully cold-blooded yet. not yet, but perhaps, eventually.very soon.

-sick and tired of this world.theres no more air..-
-sick and tired of myself.goin nowhere..-

:::perish, along with your cruel existance.everything is just an illusion, in the eyes of lust:::

11:07 PM;

Friday, October 22, 2004

title:{ Last day of school.. last moments in sch..sad? heh.}

so its like finally over`- all those times spent in this darn sick place. the place where ive met jerks, [well theres frenx too la] stupid senseless ass-brained teachers and a fucking school committee who doesnt do a single logical thinking. hope you people know how to repent yea?Might cause a waterfall-like downfall of grades this year outta ur stupidity. asssses. and yeah, not seeing the egghead perverted assholic jeerrk anymore. good riddens to u mr wum! fuck u!

ok, not that im such a stone hearted person hus g0t no feel at all.. more of an imbalance of bad over good memories weighing in my heart. heh.. well, if its gonna be a good memory, all i could remember of is perhaps the times in sec2.. where i had true friends by my side--half the fuckin time not kn0win how to be satisfied of what ive got. But thats just a growin torture that almost everyone recieves as they run and race upon paths they've chosen to take on their journey of life.

sick as it may seem, stupid as it may become, people you meet on the way might have been someone important to you while some of them, not even frick'n worthy of your thoughts. Some stupid people might so accidentally and unknowingly brush past the important people, half the time not knowin what you're losin. hahax, well thats me. f0rgoin almost everything by my side, in the thick mist of confusion.

I dont wana spell it all out , but what ive got to tell myself now, is only to forget the past and freakin move on with life.`` Perhaps i'll get a better life next year in poly? Well.. who knows what might happen in the future but whatever it is. whichever way id say id go, im never lettin my past burn down inside me.

too lazy to type further..anyways. 4e1.. my comments about it is, I.dun.realli.like.u.
u sark.
unbonded piece of seperated shit.
regrettin comin in here..

its a shame that id be sayin tt, but its just a personal comment and feelings abt this class.sorry people.

- - it a burns down to hate . . . - -

.you.dont.need.love.care.friendship.to.survive.just.yourself. .:cold-hearted.beast:.

11:54 PM;