The title of my blog is "Splendid Unknown" but the truth is, sometimes the "Unknown" is far from splendid! Sometimes it's downright frustrating and terrifying.

Where will I be in X years?
What is in the plans for me?
Will I ever feel "caught up?"
How will I afford this class?
The list goes on and on...

I'm working on not letting it be that way though. I want it to always be splendid, I want to always be able to put my trust, my faith, my everything into God. I'm working on that too though.

"Covenant" isn't a new concept to me, but the way in which we have been talking about it at church lately is challenging me to pay more attention to it. It is incredible, actually, almost unbelievable, how much God wants us to be in covenant with him, how much he wants to provide for us, how much is ours if we simply accept it.

If we simply accept it.

If only I could make it be that simple. In theory it is easy to turn your life over to God. To stop living for yourself and trust that He has it all worked out. But, in reality, it is beyond difficult for me to let go of things. I trust God, but I don't always show that in my thoughts and actions. I think a lot of change begins with small steps. It begins when you start to change your thinking...sometimes you just have to start saying or doing things and then you eventually start to believe them and accept them.

My current step: pay attention. Notice when God provides for you so that you can turn more over to him.

The moments when I realize that God just answered a prayer I didn't even know I had, or that I didn't actually pray are some of my most treasured gifts. He knows who I am at my core, he knows my needs, my wants, my desires, and he provides for them.

Some are simple; some are not. Here are some recent ones I am thankful for:

1. I forgot my coupon and was really frustrated. When I got to the store someone had placed the exact coupon I forgot on the shelf next to what I was getting. It was silly and simple, but exactly what I needed at that moment.

2. I almost didn't go to brunch on Sunday because it wasn't really in my budget, but I really wanted to spend time with friends. Anna and I sat with a new couple from our church and got to know them as we shared the meal. I was so thankful for the time we spent together building a new relationship and was happy I decided to forget my budget and invest in others. At the end of the meal the couple bought my lunch before I could say a word.

3. I've been feeling as if there is "no time" to accomplish all I need to this week. After school I received the gift of time: a snow day tomorrow!

4. I have been dealing with a situation at work that has been taking a toll on me. After recent communications I decided that I wasn't going to let it affect me, and that I knew who I was and what I believed in. I turned it over to God. The next day I got an email from a parent that was filled with exactly what I needed to help me move past any self-doubts. After yet another communication that had the potential to break me down, my students (without knowing anything was wrong) showered me with pictures and hugs. They reminded me that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I don't believe that was an accident.

So yes, the unknown can be frustrating and terrifying, but it can also be beautiful and exciting. I'm working on always viewing it with the confidence that God is with me and that He will always provide for me if I simply put my trust in him.


"Your covenant is trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant." --2 Samuel 7:28