The Exchange Life: Taiwan 2015

Sometimes, I have these urges to blog, only to turn on my laptop and have nothing to type. Like all my thoughts are either so abstract, or too private. Or I am just too lazy. But anyway, I think I should at least try to document this part of my life.

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And so, it has been slightly more than 3 months since I left Singapore. I would say this experience thus far, has been life-changing. Let's just list out maybe 20 of the milestones I've achieved:

1. Mend my own clothes
2. Operate a washing machine
3. Did all my laundry on my own
4. Travelled a lot (which I realised that I don't really like)
5. Fell in love with my favourite Asian city: Tainan
6. Fell in love with Stinky Tofu
7. Realised that Lu Rou Fan isn't all that awesome
8. Realised that homecooked-food is still the best
9. Survived without Milo
10. Tried not to murder my housemates
11. Cleaned my own bathroom (which is pretty gross, THANK YOU MUM I LOVE YOU)
12. Wandered around a foreign land alone (quite frequently cause the boys are no fun sometimes)
13. Saw Koalas for the first time ever
14. Decided that Koalas are not cute at all
15. Met a few alpacas, and yes, they are as cute as ever
16. Having my mandarin/chinese 突飛猛進 (WOOHOO)
17. Did presentations in Mandarin
18. Explained to quite a lot of Taiwanese that Singapore is NOT bigger than Taiwan 
19. Explained to a Professor that Singapore government would NOT cane people just for chewing on gums
20. Missed my family

There are probably a lot more that I cant remember, but it's not that important anyway.

Contrary to what people believe about exchange life, it's not as slack. There's still a lot of work, and as Singaporeans, we give our best to spoil market. In return, we realised that almost the entire class would receive an A at the end of the semester. And one very important reminder to ourselves all the time: if the Taiwanese don't care, then you shouldn't be bothered, even if nothing is done for a group presentation that is due in 2 days. Like what a friend told me, "他們最愛裝死。誰先開始怕，誰就做。"

It's week 14 now, and I still can't believe that I've lived in Taipei for that long. I'm getting so used to the life here that other than the fact that I miss my family, my bed, my bolster, and Zihao, I don't want to go home. But then again, I probably wouldn't wanna be back in Taiwan in the next few years. 

New milestones in a few days: Leaving a foreign airport alone to land in another foreign airport. Not really excited for Korea, but definitely excited to meet Zihao and his family there. 

Okay, time for an afternoon nap. Bye.

2014 as I remember it.

I have no idea who still reads my dead blog, but if you are, hi, it's gonna be a lonnnnnnnnng post.

I guess this year has been the most eventful year in my life. It has been a crazy emotional ride. I made huge decisions, took risks, made mistakes, learnt an awful lot, and just maybe, grew up. At the same time, I found my priorities.

JAN.
Y2S2 started, and I jumped straight into the recruitment for my Overseas Community Service Project, and began planning the trip from scratch. Interviews after interviews, we finally picked out 17 outstanding individuals for the trip. And during selection, we faced our first major conflict, but everything has yet to begin.

Chingay planning practice got really hectic. School work started piling up.

M and I fell apart. It was too difficult to deal with a relationship that was draining me of what's left of my energy after all the OCSP matters, Chingay and school work.

FEB.
OCSP meetings went on and on, and the 3 of us saw each other almost everyday. CNY was a really good break.

Chingay was a blast. But at the same time, there was a great deal of emotions building up inside of me. There was so much sadness, knowing that it'll probably be the last Chingay I'll be performing in, maybe the last time I picked up my drumsticks. That couple of days were tough. It was a battle with myself, whether I was ready to leave those all behind and move on. At the same time, I didn't know who will still be there for me if i moved on.

In the end, I held on to my stand and I moved on. It was an excruciating decision but I had to do what was best for me. For just once, I had to put myself in front of others. Selfish, yes. But I believe I've put everything and everyone before myself all these years.

PA was somewhere I had great memories of, made really good friends, learnt and grew. It used to mean a lot to me, and it still does.

M and I ended things once and for all. The only regret I have, is that I didn't break it off earlier. We were never right for one another. We should have seen the signs.

Midterms came and left. With OCSP being such a heavy investment, I decided to drop a module after half the semester have passed.

And of course, Z was with me through every single shit that happened. And for that, thank you bestfriend.

MAR-JUL

School got crazier. Finals came. Z and I got together. Its too long a story to be elaborated.

OCSP continued sucking the life out of me. Dealing with 19 people, and making them give me what they are supposed to.

Started working at a cafe, and i guess the job allowed me to meet so many people from different walks in life, changing my perspectives about a great deal of things.

JUL-AUG
Went away for 17 days to China for the project. For the past 8 months, I gave everything I could to make sure that things would turn out well. At the end of the 12 days, the emotions I experienced was overwhelming. As a leader, I can't believe I actually made the project possible. It was a very stressful 12 days at the orphanage, and in the midst, I probably lost some friendship. Being a leader is my job. If they can't understand that who I am as a leader isn't who I am as a person, then there isn't anything I can do.

I don't think I was ever as stressed out as I was in the 17 days as compared to my whole entire life. I couldn't remember any time in my life when I got madder than I did there due to irresponsibility and immaturity of some members. Being responsible for 19 other (sometimes really immature) peers in a foreign land has taught me so much. From making sure we catch our connecting flights to ensuring everyone's safety and emotional well-being to screwing the whole team over, I guess I've grown. With 19 peers and 88 kids looking up to you for decisions, it has been a hell ride.

At the same time, I wouldn't exchange anything for this experience. It was a humbling journey. I learnt so damn much about people, the world, and myself. Being a leader doesn't mean I don't make mistakes. Apologizing takes courage.

AUG-NOV
Y3S1. Fresh start.

This semester was just amazing. I spent lesser time studying because Z is now in the workforce, and I'm always tempted to nua with him during the weekends. Never been so slack in the previous 4 sems but surprisingly, my grades are waaaaaaaay better.

Became alot alot alot closer to my clique from smux camp. Am just super glad we're all still together after so long. you guys are probably one of the best things I've ever gained from SMU.

It was a really happy semester. Happy = positive emotions = good grades = don't need to study.
LOL, I wished.

DEC
After finals ended, Z left for bangkok for his work trip. Had my first solo flight to bkk just to meet him there for a short vacation. Thank you again, for making the trip so amazzzzzzing hahaha.

Next up: Exchange! (Although all the paperwork is damn sian at this point in time)

Growing up.

If growing up meant growing apart, I'd rather not.

For the first time, what's past is past.

When I said I'm done, I'm done.

Because after playing nice for so long, I can't do this anymore. Doing shit for people who are undeserving. I'm done with that.