Missing you.....will try not to

Since last night, my mood has been very, very fragile and unstable. Habibi is going away for the next 20 days and I won't be able to call him.I can just hope he has the time...and remember to call me. I know he will be having a great time and I wish him to do so.My heart hurts, it feels the same way....when I left Ireland in March. Maybe I'm being a bit too sensitive.

And to start of the 1st day of the 20 days without being able to talk to him, today I had a bad encounter with a colleague. Its nothing that made me angry anymore, just frustrated and demotivated with what had happened. Like somebody had told me - if we still have the feelings to be angry, at least it means that we want it to work, we still have feelings for it but this time its different. I'm just demotivated. No point of being angry.I felt that I've done my best and nobody noticed and backing me up.

That's ok, maybe this time round, politic wins. But I don't care, like Justin Timberlake's song - What goes around, come around. I have my own values and integrity towards my work. Nothing personal. Maybe one day, people would see. One day....

Meanwhile, I've got 19 more days to go, I will close my eyes thinking of the good old days.

This picture was taken in a park in Cork - nice weather with beautiful scenery. I'm going to miss you Habibi.

Another makan-makan weekend

Saturday and Sunday was filled in with activities with close friends and family. On Saturday, we, the basketballers, attended Awin's wedding in PD. Left Shah Alam in the first part of the day, just nice to arrive for lunch...we made quite a havoc at the her house. The food was great - her own family cooking(no caterer) with masak lemak ikan kering, rendang daging, gulai kambing, ayam goreng and dessert like tapai, kuih muih and cendol, some of us can't resist to go for a 2nd and 3rd helpings!

After lunch, we checked in to the Sunshine Bay apartments - a high rise apartment located at the beach front. Very nice view but the beach is a bit dirty.However that did not stop us to have fun of our lives. I considered myself as the unofficial photographer, trying to hold my laughs and get some shots, more pics can be view here

We also had seafood for dinner at the famous Medan Ikan Bakar, for 8 of us , the price was cheap and THANK YOU to Pip and Farah who picked up the tab. Wishing you both murah rezeki forever.
While the rest stayed for the night as planned, I had to FFK as my mom planned to have a makan-makan/family gathering/tahlil session on Sunday. Sorry guys, but this is kind of a once a year event that we always hold, and I was put in charged of roasting the lamb leg. (this is the time to show my cooking skills - thanks to Farah's recipe)

All my cousins, aunties and uncles who are based in Klang Valley turned up.It was great as the last time I met them was about 6 months to a year ago. Other then being interview by them and interviewing them on their latest gossip, we stuffed ourselves with the good food. We had potato salad, mashed potato and gravy, lamb roast, nasi briyani ikan, bar-b-cued chicken and desserts.

And I managed to get the gang to drop in from PD and end their 2nd day of makan-makan event at my mom's place.

What a great day today!

Today, I went out with some old friends. Ex-colleagues from Landmarks. It has been a few months since the last time I met them.So, we decided to meet up for lunch.



Liza is due for her 3rd child anytime now and Ayu is still busy with her job.... Ayu decided we all have Japanese for lunch. It has been sometime since I last ate Japanese food. The last time was Sushi King and the quality was really bad.

Well, I was too hungry until I forgot to take photos of the dish that we had.....when all the pieces were still there...hehehe....Kogetsu in SGCC has a beautiful scenery and peaceful environment. I've always like anything to do with water; lakes, beach and waterfalls.

After lunch, I had to go and fetch Along from UIA, and since it was still early and too lazy to go back to Shah Alam, I went to Ikano, thinking of going to Borders to check out some books. Managed to get some story books and also this book at a discounted price which might be useful for me since fasting month is coming soon.I love smoothies. This books should be able to help me.

And, as I was walking towards the escalator leaving The Curve, I bumped into another 2 of my ex-colleagues who worked in Carcosa 3 years back. They are now working at Royal Bintang, The Curve. It seems that quite a number of them are working there now. And there I was, sat there for nearly 1 hour, having coffee and catching up old times and memories. It feels really good to be catching up with old friends . We all went through the retrenchment process earlier however things are now much more better for them. And they agreed. They even offered me to visit them regularly for lunch or coffee as they could sign for it!

As planned, went and fetch Along and had dinner at her house with Sofia. And K.Ana had left me a gift - it is supposed to be as a token of appreciation for baby sitting Sofia last week but it would be treated as my birthday present.

A nice t-shirt as a gift - thanks Kak. I love it.

Well, I know my birthday is another week from now, but I've already received the gift from Habibi.

Thank you, love.

Missed the wedding, then the sleep

I'm trying very hard to sleep.....but I still can't.This is the problem when you had to work 16 hours yesterday (7am-3pm and 11pm-7am), then today you have to wake up after only 4 hours of sleep to go for a meeting, then come back to continue your sleep, before you need to go back to work at 11pm tonight.

After lying on the bed, staring the ceiling for nearly 1 hour, thinking of Habibi (yup, he calls me 'habibati) , I couldn't sleep. And I know its going to be bad for me tomorrow.

So now, I ended up surfing and reading, and looked at the photos of the wedding of our very dear friend which I was supposed to go yesterday. I guess I missed the fun of meeting the gang again.
It was Daisy's wedding. For more of the beautiful pics, you can visit Jazzmatazzed Multiply.
Congratulations Daisy!!!

p/s: Did you invite Pak Khalid?hehehe...

Good food,good place, good friends- 2nd edition

Last week, I was not in the mood of writing. More of talking. Found out about something that hurts but not able to do anything about it as that is part of the agreement.I guess I just have to live with it.You gain something, you lose something.
Others - I was working morning shift (I hate it most among the 3 shifts) , and busy running around to get some important things done in order to receive my new 'baby'. Tiring.

The best part was yesterday - again, the NSS Club feels like cooking and eating and b*tching and laughing to release our stress - decided to meet at Meen's place for a masak-masak session. I - was supposed to work, then found out don't need to, then decided still wanted to go to office to do something, finally changed my mind and didn't want to go- headed to Meen's house during lunch time. At about 2.30pm, we went to Carrefour to do some shopping for groceries and ingredients for our dishes. Managed to take a ' tea break' at Uncle Chin's. Not bad for its wantan mee, kopi and roti kahwin with kaya and butter(sounds fattening, huh!)

For dinner, the head chef decided to make 'Seafood Cheese Dip' ......

With crabstick, philly cheese, mayo, red chillies, onions and seasoning....it is yummy to be eated with Ritz biscuits...

Then we also made Spaghetti Seafood Marinara..... With fresh basil and apple juice (as per the head chef to replace white wine), it was superb!! C'est magnifique! C'est delicious!!


And another good food in the list.....lamb chops. Yummy ...yum..yum....


The dessert was durian. I know it was a bit on the not healthy side , as we have cheese, lamb, seafood and durian to top it with....thank god none of us had any health problems. And I think we better burn off some calories in the next one week after this either at FF or at the basketball court. Maybe walking in a shopping complexes would do the trick too.

Weekends with the group (this time we had Dalie,Mum, Hana, Fynne and Paie making her special appearance) - with good food, has always been great. Until, I received a call from the office informing a staff is on medical today. Failed to get any replacement, I had to cancel my next plan for today to attend Daisy's wedding with them. Sorry ladies - I've got no choice.


And...introducing the new member to the family....my new baby. This is another step of moving into the new world and leaving behind my history. (changing from an auto car to a manual...that's another big step). No more Terengganu plate...so no more crazy driving and giving excuses...heheh..

Now, I've got only one more major change needs to be done however I foresee that will take sometime.Insya Allah, will try to do it sooner.


p/s: Did I mention we had kuih bakar and Wall's poppers for dessert too?

Touched......by an SMS

After a string of SMSes, I received this ;

Sometimes, have to handle matters which involve many souls other than my own child. Fortunately God has blessed my children wif 'abundance of love so they can share their mother' wif other children ;-) & god also sent u to me so that u take my place during my absence!

It made me cry...

My very first flowers.

Alhamdulillah...I've recovered from my sickness last week. Thank you very, very much from the bottom of my heart for all the wishes - some of it even made me almost cried! Hmm...maybe it was the effects from the medication...hehehe...

Anyways, as planned, I did went down to JB for the weekend - equipped with my thick sweater for the freezing bus ride right after work, tissues and my medicine. Saturday and early Sunday was filled with training the girls as usual. Even managed to go out with Esty for Saturday night's dinner - with the delicous bubur and ikan bakar, topped up with otak-otak. Yummy...loosing 5kgs during the whole week, this was the time to get back my weight! (might as well eat the good food, as I know I will be back to the normal weight)

Sunday afternoon was the peak of the weekend event. We had a simple but nice and memorable Hi Tea to celebrate the girls achievement 2 months back. With good food, great girls, excellent team and and a 'touching' short movie by Nik the 'official photographer' - everything was perfect.

The girls

Me...as the Emcee....

The 'orang-orang kuat' that made it happened..

Mr'Liew's birthday...celebrated a day in advance.

The whole group... R2V Project 2006/2007

Last but not least , we (Hana, K Ana, Sir, Coach H and HM and myself were given a bouquet of flowers each. For the record....this is the 1st ever bouquet of flowers I received in 33 years of my life. Well, a few times I did warn some people that I hate receiving flowers, but I guess, this time its different.
Caught off guard receiving it, I slept hugging it all the way back to KL that night on Trans-Nasional.

I'm so weak

I've been down for the past few days.
Down with flu, cough and asthma.
And with that, all my energy are gone.
The Ventolin I'm taking are really, really strong until it makes me shiver
And I have to recover fast as I'm going down to JB tomorrow night, right after work.
To see the girls that I haven't seen since the last tournament.
I know I owe somebody a 'tag', but I just don't have the energy to do that now
I also know I owe somebody email addresses for her wedding invites, I've yet to reply her email
And I have to do some reading on our procedures at work, yet to be done
I'm just so weak
So weak to think of anything else
Other than lying here alone thinking...
What if I don't wake up to see the sun tomorrow?

Long weekend, short sweet moments

Finishing work on Friday morning last week, allowed me to have a longer weekend than usual. Joining K.Ana and her family, we went up to K.Kangsar to join the boys for a small makan-makan/celebration for their 4th year of winning the PHT.

Friday afternoon started off with a training session with the boys. And after that a few short games with them. After months of not playing - it was tough on me. Luckily I did some 'serious' stretching or else, my legs would have hurt worst! Well, that's the effect of serious runnings an going for the ball. Arggh.... But I was satisfied.

The dinner was on Saturday. The morning was spent in Jusco Ipoh - 1st ever visit there. Abang wanted to eat Pizza Hut ,so off we went and had to wait for about 30mnts before getting our seats. It was packed. I also saw some other school boys in uniform which Abang told me they are from ST*R. They looked really small - like they are in F1 or F2. That reminds me of my STF days. Majority of us could only afford KFC everytime outing - and whoever who went for Pizza Hut was seen as "Rich kids". Those were the days. I don't really fancy PH actually.

Food for dinner was sponsored and cooked by the captain's (Rahmat) family themselves. The buffet line includes Nasi Hujan Panas, Mee Kari, Laksa Penang , fried chicken, satay (freshly cooked there itself) and not forgetting the dessert such as cakes, jelly, tapai pulut. No complaint at all - everybody had a great feast. There was even a lot of left overs for the boys to take back!

Compare to last year's ,I am actually not that close to any of this year's player, took this opportunity to sit down with the Form 5s during dinner. We had a great time chatting, catching up with the things that has been happening with them after PPM.

It was a long weekend but short sweet moments that I treasure getting to know a bit of them. And again, they played their part , without noticing it, in filling in a part of my life.Not sure when we will be meeting again - I hope they will succeed in all their dreams in the future , starting off with SPM soon.

To Rahmat, Miki, M, Pari, Hilmi and Anas ; ALL THE BEST!




Interesting conversation between me and Sof1a(K.Ana's youngest-12 years old):
Sof1a:K.Spena, K.Spena, when are you going to have kids?
Me: No thank you. I have Dynamites and you...and also Cagers.
Sof1a: No K.Spena. That's different. I mean babies.
Me: Babies? No, thank you. By the way who is going to take care of the baby when I work.
Sof1a: You can find a maid.
Me: No way. If I want to have a baby, I want you to take care of the baby.
Sof1a: No I can't. I won't be here by the time you get one.
Me: Why? Where are you going?
Sof1a: I will be either in Los Angeles or France.
Me: What are you going to do there?
Sof1a: Oh! I'm going to work and make a living there.
Me: ????

Good time, great taste

I had a great time last night.After fasting for 4 days, last night was kind of the closing event for this week.And it was great. The NSSC members decided to meet for dinner .

The venue - Marche, The Curve

The food - chicken chop, potato rosti, steaks, 3 types of ice cream, banana pie (ala lepat pisang), 2 big slices of cheese cake (I got a free one!), chocolate mouse, sauteed mushroom, oysters, pasta and fruit juices. We missed out the Tiramisu!

The gang - Meen, Hana, Fynne, Dalie, Rina, Yus (yeah!!! welcome aboard) and myself

The stories - From the upcoming 3 Serangkai dinner, to the D filing by Meen, to the 'butter' and 'worcester' story of the different accent and pronounciation (I can't remember the Dunhill Light story), not forgetting our KK trip this August.

The effect - everybody was stuffed and really high of adrenaline and sugar; laughing, teasing, joking ...

The grattitude - to Yus who managed to join in last minute and paid for our dinner (did she? I know she paid for mine... ;)

And DNAS - Happy Birthday to you! We were kind of celebrating it for you even though you were not around...hehehe

The ending - argghhh...I had to leave at 10.30 to go to work. I wish I could stay on.






p/s: With all the fun above, I still miss him. What's wrong with me?

Lucky or unlucky?

Sometimes I feel I'm unlucky.
Sometimes I feel I'm lucky.

Last night,
My colleague called at about 7pm asking me to come in to work later .Instead of 11pm, maybe between 2-4 am,as we need to have a meeting at 10am till 2pm today and I need to last till 2pm or maybe 3pm.

After buka puasa and maghrib, I needed to force myself back to sleep .As I know, I would be damn sleepy today if I can't get enough .Thank god I'm the type who could just force myself to sleep anytime(provided nothing is bugging me in my head) .When I came in to work, at 2.30am she called and informed the meeting is cancelled and will be arranged at another time.

I was quite angry but could not do anything much as who am I to say anything. At my position, either we go by the rules or we face the consequences. Either way, nothing could confirm or secure anything in the future for me here.

But one thing though, I feel unlucky and lucky in certain ways

Unlucky because:
I had to comply to this 'sometimes' ridiculous schedule
I had to just agree on certain things
It does not secure me any promotions in the future how much I sacrifice and complied

Lucky because:
I still have a job which I love doing
I have team members which do understand the nature of the job
I am allowed to claim overtime
My husband darling is not here with me for him to suffer the consequences

Well, this is the time I just have to devote myself to my job.
I need to start coaching again soon as this will help me to reduce the stress
Or even better, if I could get my darling from SA to visit me.
Yes, I think that's the best option.

As of now, I need to get some sleep first.
Good night to me
And good morning to the rest of Malaysia.

Are you cheated too? Part 2

What if we are a divorcee with 2 or 3 kids and the divorce that had happened was not our fault. Yes, as a mother, most mothers usually put their childrens' future first.Our family first. Falling in love again was not a good option. There is a higher risk the new man in our life might not be able to accept the kids. There's also a high risk that we will be falling into the dreams of our own world and might forget the greater responsibilities of raising the children. Then, say bye-bye to the relationship.

But what if we proceed with the relationship? As a normal human being, we have the tendency to fall for people who care for us. We are just humans , where emotions play an important role; not like robots.

Then the next question is, if the person we fall in love with :

a) Is a bachelor. What would his family say if he marries a divorcee with children? He might just tell them off that this is his marriage. But the pressure is on the spouse later by his family members... Mental and emotional torture.

b) Is a divorcee with or without children. This would be ok, most times, less problems from both side provided they could afford to raise up both parties children

c) Is a married man, who could afford 'financially and others' to marry more than one? The man might either tell you the truth at the very first level of the relationship or he might even lie to you. Whatever it is, he could afford it.If he had lied, he would definitely have a strong reason(the usual excuse) why he did that.
- If he had told you the truth or he has always been transparent, it might be our fault to still proceed with the relationship
-If he hadn't told you the truth and we not knowing he's married, its not our fault to proceed with the relationship

But whatever it is, again, there is a high possibility their wives do not know about us.

If we are in their wives' positions, then we are the one who are cheated.
But if we are on the opposite (and their wives still not knowing about it), we are the ones who make the men to be cheaters.

And , there is a famous saying - what goes around, comes around. You either being cheated first, or later.Well, I know some people would say we they don't want to be cheated or feel bad about it, so....why wait? Might as well they do it first.

Just something to think of. Scary....and definitely sad as this is happening in the current lifestyle.