DIY NAILS

I haven't been blogging for a while. Been meaning to blog. Really i swear, but there's really nothing much to pour. Not that my life has been picture perfect , peace and unhappiness free it's just it gets wearisome at times to my friends , family or even to myself.At times i looked down at myself and even feel ashamed , asking myself " how did i let myself fall into this bottomless hole?" 

2years has gone by , but my heart still beat for you at times but not so much as it used to. So i suppose in no time i'll stop seeing you anymore.

Hello peeps !

Photo taken just outside the doorsteps of home back in aussie . Well after traveling for a while , i guess it's back to reality for me now ): This trip back to aussie was really good , getting to meet up with family and spending time catching up was great.It was only this trip that i felt was close and related to each and everyone of them , going over to granduncle's jeff house seeing 6 over cars parked outside reminded me how i am always related to here.Miss aussie so much the weather and the house . 

While i was helping to pack the stuffs in the house , i found quite a few of my childhood stuffs ( harry potter book , hello kitty toothpaste etc). Gonna miss that place man.

Okay shall blog till another time.

Flying to BKK in roughly 8hours .

Can't stop thinking about " if only" and " i wished" , wishing for the impossible and hoping for miracles. Why do i have to insist and demand to find only a person of your caliber and appearance.

It's been decades since all these began, on and off non stop . I don't get myself at all.

I'll be flying tomorrow , man don't really feel anything though.I fell sick on tuesday , high fever and minor sore throat i was dying at that time. Just recovered and not ready to indulge myself with abundance of fried food , throat still swollen ): sad. i pictured this moment much more exciting and happiness , now it's just dreadful.I'm hardly eating now strawberry milk and some old school buns which you see ppl eating in the olden days and were the "better" food .AHHH had to give club a missed too , cause mum put a restraining order on me ): sucks. feels like back in the secondary days parental control? 

unexplicable

The day i'm flying off to aussie is nearing , weirdly i have this inexplicable feeling inside me. A mixture of emotion misses , sad , relief and excited . Missing my grandparents alot , thought of going back to aussie this time but without either of them kinda felt weird. Because it was always them who i go back with , grandma or both of them. That was when it hit me again...she's really gone . Losing grandma wasn't easy for me , neither was losing grandpa it felt like both of my wings broke because they were always there for me by my side guiding me and weathering all storms for me. And when they left this world for good , i felt clueless and helpless. I want them back so much but i know this is part and parcel of life the cycle.

To the upset i don't exactly know how to describe this feeling . It's like i'm fearful and afraid that heart wrenching memories , would haunt me and ruined my vacation. So many memories in that house , memories which started at the age of 5 till 17 . How i sat infront of the window at the last floor and just stare outside the window and cry.That feeling i had in me fear and worry , never want to feel that way again. 

Lately , i've been thinking was this a mistake? argh.Can't wait to fly over to aussie now!

OMGGGGG! i can't wait seriously for my vacation , just 10days away and FIVE more shifts to go. Clubbing this week AWESOME . Needa meet up with peeps before i go for vacation , totally excited and all ready. Nothing much to talk about though , gonna spam my blog with camwhore peekchas .

 

Ya know what we're still young , commitments fuck them all. We only get to live once in a life time , SCREW IT all those rules and stages of life that we must go through. I'll live my life anyway i want to , no rules and stages just how i want it to be.

 My hair is getting really long , bad thing about it is that it's too straight ! I have to like curl it everyday , so that it looks nicer BOOO. What i wore today to meet up helena , black short cropped top, black high waist and BOOTS! hehe can never forget that.Everything's fine counting down though 5 more shifts to break and HOLIDAY. Gonna shop like crazee , stock up more clothes for school in july . So that i won't be caught wearing the same clothes over and over again each week , if only i was slim ): then i wouldn't have any problem buying clothes.


Went tantric today to check out , everyone has to have their first experience right? surprisingly it was normal for me , amusing too ! not bad . 


You're never gonna come back.