my vision board

Weight Watchers is saving my life right now. I can 100% guarantee you that if it wasn't for weight watchers and the amazing support I get from the meetings, I would not be making any progress on improving my health and losing weight. Sometimes I feel like my progress is so slow that it is almost not even existent, but that is a lie. I AM making progress, and it IS slow, and that is OK.

We made vision boards last week and I went all out with tons and tons of mountain/hiking pictures. The point of my vision board was to try to explain to someone why I am having such a hard time making progress. I have talked to lots of weight watchers lifetime members and they ALL say that their average weight loss was about .5 lbs a week. Honestly, that is about what mine is, so at this rate it may take me several years to reach my goals. BUT.

BUT.

BUT.

BUT.

Sometimes I try to explain why I may go a few weeks or sometimes a few months without making progress. My vision board sums it up perfectly.

There are two Stephanie's living in one body. The healthy, strong, motivated, fit one. She is climbing a huge mountain, one step at a time. She is focused. She is driven. She is not distracted. She is patient. She is kicking some serious butt.

She is chained to the other Stephanie. The other Stephanie has a chain around her neck, is digging her heals into the ground, holding onto every branch and tree she can while the other Stephanie desperately tries to drag her up the mountain. She keeps screaming "ONE MORE BITE!!!" or "BUT ITS A PARTY!!!" or "BUT ITS DATE NIGHT!!! or "BUT I AM STRESSED!!!" or "BUT ITS MY FAVORITE!!!" and so on and so forth.

She is the reason that sometimes I will take a few steps and then have to rest under a tree, or fall down and work really hard to stand back up, or get pulled down the mountain a few feet and have to work my way back to where I was. It is hard.

I'm considering killing off the other Stephanie but so far I can't bring myself to do it because I love her and she is a part of me, but she is getting in my way and I'm tired of it.

She is making my journey a lot harder than it could be if she didn't exist.

I need to get very selfish and think of the Stephanie that is going somewhere GREAT and put her best interests first. I need to be selfish and work out when I want to work out, eat healthy when I want to, buy expensive produce for my health, make meals that fit my goals, say NO to things that I don't really need, and just make myself more of a priority.

Making myself my priority seems so easy, but sometimes even saying it out loud makes me laugh. It seems so impossible that it's funny. If anyone has any advice about making myself a priority and getting a little bit more selfish, please leave me a comment. I need another burst of motivation.

I totally forgot I had this blog...

Do you ever get in a routine rut where sometime you are doing things just because it has become part of your routine? I used to look at Facebook every time I nursed Simon because it was relaxing. Then for a zillion reasons I decided I needed to get rid of Facebook. Like forever, not just a break, but forever. I haven't missed it one bit.

I decided after having Simon to quit obsessing so much about my weight and just start focusing on my life, my happiness, my family, and my role in our home. I will never stop working on my health, but I'm over being obsessed and stressed about it.

I actually forgot I had this blog! Another thing I forgot about was how much I used to obsess about hormones and thyroid and food and supplements. I was sorting through my lovely 80+ year old friend's book collection she was getting rid of and I we were talking about thyroid problems and it hit me that I just don't obsess about it anymore. It is what it is. It hasn't changed by any means, but it's just something I've let go of. She had dozens and dozens of awesome health/nutrition/homeopathic books to choose from and I loaded up on a ton of books, but skipped over the thyroid specific ones.

I joined weight watchers in November and it has been the best experience for me. I needed support. I needed a place to be with like-minded people. I needed a program that helped me face my habits that are really really hard to break. Weight Watchers is helping.

The only thing that is tough about weight watchers is every once in a while I am reminded that my body really does truly hold on to weight differently and more stubbornly than others. I have been following the program pretty consistently with the occasional week or two or weekend where I blow it, but that is life and that is how my life will always be so I need a program where that's ok.

With that being said, my results are SLOW. I was thinking I had done awesome to lose almost 15 pounds in a little over 6 months....until I read about a friend who just started making dietary changes and working out and has lost 30 pounds in half the time. 30 pounds would take me at least a year to lose at this rate! Ugh. For people like me who have always worked out, it's always a little tough to watch people pick up a workout routine for the first time and suddenly drop crazy amounts of weight.

I'm happy with my progress and I'm happy that I have found a program that is working for me. I average about a 2-3 pound loss per month so sometimes it feels like I am barely plugging along, but now here I am 6 months into it and I'm actually really happy I decided to join weight watchers and accept that my pace of weight loss is going to be what it is and that's ok because I am heading in the right direction and I am making changes for better health.

Just wanted to update this blog that I forgot about :)

Things I love.

My next musical project is going to re-writing the song "Summer Nights" from Grease to "Sleepless Nights" from the new musical called "newborn."

I wrestle with myself most nights because Simon eats very frequently and by the time he eats for an hour, gets changed and put back to sleep, I know it's only an hour or two at most before it's time to repeat...so sometimes I'm able to fall asleep, and other times it gives me my unwanted second wind. Tonight is an unwanted second wind night so I'll let you know how my progress is going.

Ok, so I mentioned "The Dr.'s Diet" in my last post. I collaborated with my sister to start this program together. I just wanted a little structure in my eating. She has followed it 100% and I have followed my own version about 75% and both of us have already had incredible results! The philosophy of his program is incredible and so I'm not too worried about following his exact 2-week eating plan since I'm nursing, but I'm following his guidelines for a healthy lifestyle.

My sister lost 7.5 pounds in one week and she was already a healthy, active person who isn't what I consider "overweight". That is INCREDIBLE!!! I'm losing weight pretty steadily anyway thanks to nursing AND being healthy and am down 6.5 pounds in a little less than two weeks. I've lost 30 pounds and I am 6 weeks postpartum and only have 7 more pounds to hit pre-pregnancy weight. I am so proud of myself!

I love eating my whole foods all day long. I love eating simple meals like grilled chicken, boiled sweet potatoes, and a green salad with lemon wedges. I love drinking milk. I love eating apples. I love my green berry smoothie. I love hard boiled eggs. I love a frozen banana topped with walnuts and a little chocolate. I love toasting pumpkin seeds and drizzling honey over them to put on my strawberry spinach salad. I love making my own bean and cheese burritos. I love my treat of melting some peanut butter in the microwave and stirring some oats in with a few chocolate chips. SO GOOD. I love strawberries in milk with a little vanilla- try it- so dang good! I love me some avocados mixed with tomatoes, onions, lemon juice (yes, I know that is just guacamole)

I made some mason jar salads and I love those too. They took me 3 days to make since having a newborn really is a pretty intense time commitment- WHICH I LOVE BTW- but once they were made, it was awesome to pull one out of the fridge and have lunch in a bowl in less than 60 seconds.

My doctor was so happy with my progress and told me over and over again how well I managed my diabetes and if it hadn't been for my dedication, I probably would have had a c-section or worst case scenario possibly even a stillbirth considering my placenta started deteriorating. She told me she thinks my future is very bright for accomplishing my goals and is so happy for me. She was really happy about my weight loss so far and told me to keep doing what I'm doing.

She advised me to keep lots of fruits and vegetables in my diet and then focus on lean proteins and healthy fats and really watch out for too many carbs and avoid sweets and white flour. I love focusing on REAL food and not feeling like I'm on a crazy diet, and I love that I am not cutting out any food group. Because of my belief in "The Word of Wisdom," I always struggled with these diets that eliminate so many wonderful healthy foods.

I feel my old "health nut" self coming back to life which is really a good thing because the health nut who died at some point in time ate healthy foods because of the health benefits and avoided unhealthy foods for HEALTH reasons...mostly. I really can't stress how much I don't want to eat a bunch of junk and it feels amazing. A little treat here and there is fine, just not something I feel like I need like a drug.

I feel like I'm doing all these things for ME and for my own health and I'm loving it. I'm taking the 2 hour glucose test tomorrow to see if I'm still diabetic, so say a little prayer for me that I'm not because if you didn't get the message from me before DIABETES IS EXPENSIVE! I'd so much rather spend $80 a month on yummy food instead of medical supplies. Have a great weekend!