I am SO not techno savvy....

Wanted to add this:

to my sidebar.

Tried several times, but blogger kept telling me there were "illegal characters".

Huh????

What does that even mean?

I just wanted to be able to feed some virtual fish now and then.

Love me some Natalie Dee!!!!

hahahahaha!!!!

I'm babysitting tomorrow night.

Why, yes.

I have no life so I AM available to babysit on Saturday nights.

I'm back....

....and with short hair!!!

Decided to take the plunge yesterday and go short again.

The shortest my hair has been in years.

I decided to just do it...'cuz you know...it's just hair...and if I decide I don't like it~it'll grow.

In other less shallow news: my estranged husband decided a few weeks ago to file a motion to dismiss the complaint for divorce.

While this was and is a big relief for me in many ways~most of them financial....I know that we WILL get divorced eventually. Probably sometime summer '12.

I have to say that the past couple of months have been some of the most stressful in my life. I still cry almost everyday. I'm still scared. I have lost a lot of my self-confidence (yes, I'm still a smart-ass and have some confidence, but not like I used to)....and regardless of that picture and the fact that I look a little sassy in it~I've lost a lot of my self-esteem. I've lost faith in people...well...really just men....I still trust my women friends (no offense any of you guy readers out there who haven't screwed me over) .

I've been having health issues, which I'm sure are related to the tremendous stress I've been under.

and

BONUS!

I've gained weight.

Not only is my hair the shortest it's been in a long time, I'm also the heaviest I've been in years.

As you can see, I haven't done anything about going private.

I'm considering totally changing my blog: new title, new look, new name (I KNOW y'all will miss calling me "Pissy").

I've been blogging here for five years now.

I think it's time for a change.

And I have to give credit to Devon for suggesting I do make a total change.

I'm too frazzled these days to come up with any good ideas on my own.

So....that's what's been happening with me.

What's new with y'all?

My sports bra is sticking to me.

Am currently on an endorphin high. This post is gonna ramble. Just thought I should warn y'all in case you want to stop reading now.

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Just finished a round-trip walk to what i think will become my new gym home. You know how people talk about their "church home"? Yeah, this is like that. Only it's a gym. So maybe not. Never mind.

Anyway...it was about a 45 minute walk ...not counting the newly poured asphalt I stepped in and the two traffic lights I had to stop for. I walked part of the trail

that goes all the way to Stone Mountain park. My part of the route goes by Agnes Scott College and some cute little restaurants and houses. It's nicely paved and very wide. I'm kinda embarrassed that I've lived this close to that trail for almost 2 years and have never walked it before. Oh, well. Bygones. I'll be walking it a couple of times a week from now on.

About this gym: I'm only in the 3rd day of my free one week trial, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna join. It's a medium sized gym, close to my house (obviously), decent monthly membership fee, VERY clean, good array of equipment, not a meat-market type of atmosphere AT ALL. (All though that kind of thing can be entertaining. As a spectator. I'm too old to be a participant.) Because it's a neighborhood gym...it seems to never be crowded. Like because it's in the neighborhood, people sort of pop in at anytime. It has a good variety of classes....a nice little cardio theater, a separate room for Spin and a small room for more zen-type yoga classes. (I took a yoga class yesterday afternoon. Liked it.)

AND.....

Jane Fonda used to be a member.

Yeah.

THAT Jane Fonda.

I feel like that's a good endorsement.

So, yeah.

That's my big news (the gym....not the Jane Fonda thing).

What's going on with y'all?

*side bar*

I am currently eating a snack of reduced fat Cheez-its and baby carrots. I'm pretty sure I've never eaten this combination before.

Michelle Obama is on 'The View'. Everyone always talks about her arms and how awesome they are. Yes, her arms ARE awesome. However, I'm pretty sure she can thank genetics for that. She doesn't strike me as a big 'work-out-kinda-gal'. What do y'all think?

Easter time at the Casita

I've always had a deep, deep love for Easter.

Probably because it leads up to my most favorite holiday of the year:

MOTHER'S DAY

(but that's a whole other post)

Anyway....

here are some pictures that I've taken in the past couple of weeks

leading up to the big day

Gorgeous white dogwood tree

at the pocket park near my house.

This is Reginald.

I found him at a little shop near Pastries A Go-Go.

I wasn't going to buy any Easter decorations this year, but

I couldn't resist that ruffle at his neck.

I mean really.....

AND

he's sparkly!!

What's not to love?!?!?

Then.....

I made a quick trip to Kudzu with Kelly and Austin and found

these awesome cardboard eggs:

(I already had the little bird salt and pepper shakers.)

They were priced at only $3 dollars each

which I thought was a lot of bang for the buck.

'cuz they're pretty big

See?

and....

Kelly and Austin surprised me with this little canvas

from Z Gallerie:

Don't 'cha love it?

I do!!!

It looks SO perfect in my little downstairs living room.

Thanks again, Kel!!!

Have y'all done any Spring/Easter decorating?

p.s. Sorry for the poor picture quality of Reginald's photos. I took those at night and just couldn't get the lighting right. He's much more handsome than he appears. The photos don't do him justice. :(

Some (mostly) pink pictures

I've taken these over the past few weeks. The flowering trees and bushes are so beautiful. Spring if my favorite season; second only to Fall. :)

This is one of the pretties bouquets I've seen in a long time.

Just look at those flowers!!!!

LOVE!!!

I found this canvas at Kudzu Antiques a few weeks ago.

She's (of course she's a "she"...she's PINK!)

hanging on the wall of my little downstairs living room.

I've named her "Bossy", after the restaurant

where my grandmother worked when I was a little girl.

It was in Sequin, Texas and was called "Ole Bossy".

They had THE best ice cream! :)

Bossy hangs right next to this new-ish daybed from West Elm.

I'm loving all the bright pillows that I've collected since I've lived here

and how well they go with the Anthropologie

bedspread I got on sale last year. :)

This was last Sunday on my landlord's deck.

They had a HUGE (over 200 people) birthday party.

(this was during set-up)

I didn't take many pictures because there was a professional photographer

there and I'd have felt silly with my little camera.

I took these with my phone.

That's my little house in the background. :)

I lent some of my vases and decorative items

to Laura for the party.

This is one of my little Crate and Barrel vases

with Camellias in it. :)

This is a little street around the corner from my house.

Gracie and I walk under this bower of pink flowering trees everyday.

Those beds were filled with tulips.

I thanked the owner for planting so many for us to enjoy. :)

I adore being a Nanny.

One of the perks is doing crafts like this.

Personally I think I could wear these chunky bead necklaces out

and no one would know that a 3 year old and I made them.

Well...maybe they would.... ;-)

We like to do sidewalk chalk art.

I know my "skills" are

rudimentary at best.

But the children enjoy it.

....and participate: see those "suns"? :)

Now for some more of the best parts of my job:

we go for nature walks.

Here at this small nature preserve right behind their little subdivision.

It's absolutely beautiful.

My pictures don't do it justice.

I mean....really....look at that.....

...and here's the non-pink:

lovely white flowering tree in a yard that borders

the nature preserve.

Happy Sunday!!!!!!

April Fools Thought for the Day

I think we can all relate to this.

********************************************************

Happy Friday!

Hope all of you have a fabulous weekend!

I'm going to spend all day Saturday with Devon and Dane

so I KNOW my weekend will be a wonderful!!!!

xoxo

~Pissy

This.....THIS is what it's all about

Me snuggling with my sweet baby Dane.

I spent three hours with this little nugget today.

Holding him, talking to him, gazing at him, listening to the adorable little

sounds he makes while he sleeps.

He soothes my soul.

My brother is nuts

Seriously.

He is.

I have 3 brothers who all live in the San Antonio area. I haven't seen any of them in six years~since our father's funeral. I've been to Texas several times since then~to the Houston area to visit our brother who lives there. None of them has ever made the 4 hour drive to see me when I'm there. Okay...whatever.

So....when all this happened with Mike (and my marriage), I spoke to my brother, Charles, at length on the phone one Sunday afternoon. Long story short: we got online at the same time and checked flights...settled on a date for my visit...and I made my reservations later that evening. Sent Charles the flight info.

He was BEYOND thrilled. Ecstatic would be a better word. Full of plans...just really pumped. Talked about all the places we'd go and the relatives and old friends we'd see.

We'd already discussed that he would be closing on a new house (he hasn't sold his current one yet, but that's not an issue for him) around that time, and would move into his new house piece by piece...taking his time since he wasn't in a rush.

This afternoon I get an email from him telling me he'd need me to "postpone" my trip as it would interfere with his moving the week of my arrival. I was going to stay almost two weeks (at his prompting: when I'd first said I'd come for 5 t0 7 days, he said, "that's not long enough!") and his move would be the first week of my visit. He was "afraid he wouldn't have enough time to spend with me".

Ummmm....what?!?!?

After confirming with him by email that I would NOT be coming to visit, I got on the phone and computer....doing damage control on all the arrangements I'd made for my trip.

I have THE worst headache.

Thank goodness I also have trip insurance.

p.s. In case anyone is wondering: I hadn't made mentionto any of my other brothers about staying with them b/c Charles INSISTED that I stay with him the entire time~with the exception of the occasional day trip to visit other relatives/friends. I didn't feel right about calling any of them and inviting myself to stay at their homes at this late date.

p.s.s. Gracie has gas. That isn't helping. :(

YEAH, he does!!!

Dane Harrison Porter decided to make his appearance yesterday evening around 7:30 p.m. Eastern time.

Our sweet, sweet, SWEET baby weighs 9lbs 4 ozs and is 21 inches long.

He is absolutely perfect and wonderful and precious and I couldn't love him more.

Devon and Dane (and his daddy, Zach) are all doing well.

Thank you, God!!!!!

I'm starting to think this is true....

Really, y'all.

I think this is SO true!

Just because I say what I think and or "call people out" on their bullshit, I've always been considered sort of (or maybe more than "sort of") a bitch.

But I don't think I am.

Not really.

I've gotten MUCH better about attitude, etc since leaving the DA's office. Back then? Yeah, I probably WAS a bitch. The job sort of made me that way. Dealing with scum who wouldn't take responsibility for their children will do that to a person.

Since then I've mellowed quite a bit.

To the point that I don't even have road rage on a regular basis.

And anybody who's ever driven in Atlanta knows that's HUGE right there!!!

This bullshit divorce move that Mike made?

Yeah, it's left me broken hearted for my family and I was shell-shocked for awhile.

But I'm not being a bitch about it with him.

And God KNOWS I could be.

But what would be the point? I don't need the negativity in my life...the stress..the anger...all the crap. Instead I'm dealing with everything in my own way and with the help of wonderful, supportive friends (like y'all) and family....trying to get outdoors and enjoy this beautiful weather with my Gracie....spend time with Devon while we wait for Dane to make his appearance....cooking again and enjoying that....gardening...going to movies (Battle: Los Angeles was AWESOME! Made me wanna go out and join the Marines right then and there! ha!)...helping a friend decorate their new home....planning a trip to Texas.

Now y'all don't get nervous or anything: I'm not saying I can't be a bitch if circumstances call for it.

'Cuz y'all know I can. ;-)

Not yet.....

I'm saving y'alls emails about the blog going private. When I make the move (probably early next week) y'all will be the first to know.

Thanks for wanting to stay with me and for all the supportive emails.

Y'all rock hard!

Today is Devon's due date!!!

Let's all hope our little Dane decides to make his appearance today!!!!

Happy St. Paddy's Day!!!

Going private

I've decided....after all these years blogging....to take my blog private at this time.

Please send me at email if you'd like to continue reading.

Here's my email: nancyspradley@yahoo.com

Thanks!

xoxo

~Pissy

Just letting y'all know....

Thank you....really...thank you for the comments.

They mean so much to me.

That y'all are taking the time to write them and be supportive to me.

I truly appreciate it.

Nothing major has happened since my last posting.

As far as I know there aren't anymore bank accounts for him to clean out.

But then....I'd be the last one to know, right?

I haven't ruled out the services of a forensic accountant.

BUT...as I've said before...(or maybe I didn't...I tend to forget what I said since the bomb was dropped on me) : if he gives me what I want, we can get this over with sooner rather than later.

Emotionally....I think I'm doing somewhat better. I still cry at least once a day, or at least tear up....and I may for a long time. I'm not gonna try to stop that (I don't know that I could if I wanted to).

I think it's better to get it out.

Y'all....I know that I come across as a middle-aged, foul-mouthed, hard-ass bitch. And sure: I CAN be that.

But I'm also a middle-aged woman with a heart. A heart that is hurting at the way the man I've been married to for 19 years ( our anniversary is this month~nice irony there, Mike)...raised my daughters with....buried my father with....shared tears and heart rending pain at the death of two doggie family members with...shared all the joy and all the pain and all the hell that we've shared....that he could do this to me this way.

I know I'll get better...and the pain will lessen.

But right now.

Today.

It hurts.

p.s. I can't say that I don't deserve this. For those of you who don't know: Mike left his first wife (they were married 25 years) for me. You know how they say "what goes around, comes around"? It really does.

The acrimony of his first divorce has been the reason that we always said (once things started to fall apart for us) that OUR divorce wouldn't be that way.

It appears he forgot that part.

Lightening strike

Thank you....thank you all so much for your supportive comments. I sincerely appreciate them and will respond to each one.

Just wanted to update and put down in writing....the latest development.

He cleaned out the bank account.

Yes.

He did.

The move that his attorney told him I would do...the one that prompted him to blindside me with the filing for divorce the way he did. His attorney told him I would "clean out the accounts....you need to protect yourself from that happening"

So he did it to me.

I have to tell y'all that I would have been less surprised if I'd been struck by lightening.

This latest move of his now shows me that he is capable of anything.

I found out about this after a visit to OB with Devon. ( We may had a baby this weekend!)

Dev and I had gone to Ikea for a little outing. We were in the picture frame department when he finally answered the phone (he'd been on the golf course all day and turned his phone off so I wouldn't bother him). I wanted access to the password for the online bank account. That's when he told me what he'd done. And if I want any money for anything...let him know...he'll put money back into that account for my use.

After being hit with that thunderbolt, I broke down and cried right there amongst the picture frames and in front of my poor daughter. It was not pretty and I'm not proud of it.

A lot of horrible, nasty things were said back and forth between us.

I hate this and I want it to stop.

....and so it goes....

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish it's source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”

Anais Nin I found out last night....after some completely benign conversation....that Mike has filed for divorce. Papers will be served on me early this week. He and I always said that when the time came for us to take this step it would be done amicably. The fact that he did it behind my back....told his children before me told me...wouldn't have told me if I hadn't wormed it out of him....would not have known until papers were served on me.... none of those things make me feel amicable towards him. But I hope to get there. And I know I will eventually. It's just so, so, SO sad to me that he couldn't wait until after my first grandchild was born. That he had to put a damper on my joy about this long awaited blessed event. Take my focus off Dane's arrival. Cause my extremely pregnant daughter to have to hear about this now..... I'll get over the going behind my back...the telling his children before he told me....Devon will be fine and my beautiful, long-awaited grandchild will be born (and I will be thrilled). What I don't know is if I'll ever forgive him for his complete and utter lack of sensitivity where Devon and Zach and little baby Dane are concerned. I know I'm rambling. I slept maybe three hours last night. I'll keep y'all updated as events occur.

Rainy Saturday morning

So....yeah....the forecast is for rain and then more rain today.

ALL day.

This is Gracie's reaction to the news:

I know it's hard to tell, but she's thrilled.

Really.

Thrilled.

....and I've about had it with my Blackberry Curve and its sticky track ball.

Do y'all know how annoying that is?!?!?!

Not being able to use your phone to its full capabilities because the little track ball gets stuck?!?!?

Grrrr!

I get a q-tip and some hydrogen peroxide to clean it off....wait a few minutes...and then it works.

Don't even get me started on how much it pisses me off when the track ball quits working away from home and my proximity to stuff to clean it.

And of course tMobile is out of replacement parts and has been for months.

*roll eyes*

After some discussion with Devon about this (continuing) issue....she suggested that she add me to her contract and I get one of these:

I realize it's the oldest version of the iPhone, but that's fine with me. I'll probably never figure out how to use everything on it anyway.

Hope everybody's Saturday is as exciting as mine and Gracie's!!!

Really!!!!!!

Y'all....I won't even try to go in to everything that's gone on the past two months.

Suffice it to say I've just been living my life and it's been busier than usual.

Then I got sick with bronchitis, 2 ear infections (one ear drum almost burst), etc. etc. was out of work and everything else for a week. Boo!

Have been working a lot.

But mostly?

Have been waiting for my grandson to get here!

He's due the 17th!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs and kisses to you all!!!

~Pissy

Sunday night snow and the aftermath

I was sick with a stomach bug all day yesterday, so slept on and off most of the day. I'd taken Gracie out a few times....and while it was cold....and I knew it was supposed to snow, nothing was happening...some light accumulation, but that was about it.

I'd taken her out around 8:00 p.m. It was snowing lightly.

Then....

Around 10:30 I went to take her out one last time before calling it a night, and opened my front door to this:

My reaction when I saw this: "WHOA!!!"

chilly dog on the sidewalk

(I was a bad doggie mom: she should have had her jacket on!)

I knew she was really cold, so I took her back in the house, dried her off and then went back out to take more pictures ( whilst wearing a tank top, a long sleeved t-shirt, pajama pants and thick socks covered by a long GAP hoodie and my long hooded "Chicago" coat AND my Hunter "shortie" boots. Oh! and fingerless gloves. I'm sure I looked like a lunatic! haha!).

Big, fat flakes sorta hide

the large Methodist Church

on the corner

I took this from the sidewalk in front of the main house.

This is the corner intersection one house away.

I like this picture.

It's kinda moody.

Now for the "aftermath":

couch, fluffy blankets, cozy socks

...and hot tea in one of my favorite mugs!

Hope everybody is staying warm!!!

Everyone should......

Can it be?!?!?

Y'all?

Am I getting "soft" in my old age?

What is wrong with me?!?!?

I saw a woman today when I was at lunch.

She was attired in one of THE most atrocious ensembles I've ever seen in my life.

Seriously.

It was so bad that I took detailed notes on my Blackberry to do an entire post about it later.

Really.

That bad.

But then..... Gracie and I went to the dog park around 4 this afternoon.

And who should be there, but the lady I saw at lunch.

Still in the same outfit with the exception of now having pajama bottoms on with her strapless dress rather than jeans.

And y'all....

She was so NICE.

Genuinely nice and friendly and talkative.

Her giant white dog was nice and friendly too.

Based on those facts, I just can't be snarky.

*sigh*

So as to not make this post a total waste of time, let's look at a picture of my recently re-styled cubbies, shall we?

There.

That's better.

The view from here....*

*sub-titled: "Why not wait almost a month between posts?"

I hope everyone's New Year is off to a wonderful start!!!!

xoxo