make up

This was me last night....

upon cleaning out all my different stashes of make up

the scene of the crime....
( a road atlas is bathroom reading for a geography instructor)

I filled this 2 gallon trash can with
make-up I haven't used in years.

I have an addiction to lipstick and lip gloss, apparently.

I must have thrown out 20 or 30.
Lots had not even been used once.
Darker colors that I'd never wear now....

The really bad part is that I wear very little make-up

when I wear it....it's the few things you see in this bag.

I'd forgotten I even HAD this tiny bag

This is what I kept out of the boxes and baskets of stuff.

Sigh....what a waste!

First Fake Post

Blah blah blah.....blah blah blah.....blah

Whew! It's NOT skin cancer!

Just got back from the doctor.

It is NOT skin cancer, but is something called Clark's Nevus. The doctor told me that I will have to keep an eye on all the moles that I have....and I have a lot.....to stay out of tanning beds, to use sunscreen....to "do the best I can" as far as my skin is concerned because Clark's Nevus is hereditary.

Of course I came home and goggled the diagnosis immediately. The information posted below was found on Yahoo Answers. I liked how the response is written in an easy-to-understand format.


"I'm not a dermatologist, but I can tell you what it is. The medical term for a mole is a nevus- nevi in plural form. A Clark's Nevus is a mole that is likely to become cancerous, that is already showing changes to will eventually most likely become cancer. As a rule, it's treated by removing the mole in question. They are associated with a lot of sun exposure, and are not all that uncommon among folks who tan a lot, or who work outside extensively. They do tend to run in families, so if you have a family member who's been diagnosed with one, you should take special care to watch any moles you happen to have. You would also want to be conscientious about wearing a sunscreen all the time, and limiting your time outside in the sunlight. One Clark's Nevus, or even several is not of itself fatal, as long as the offending moles are removed entirely. It's not cancer, it's a stage before that. They are usually removed to prevent skin cancer from occurring. The procedure to remove the mole will leave a scar, larger than the mole, because the doctor will want to be certain he/she has excised the mole entirely and left only healthy skin edges. Although it is more comforting to have the pathologist say it was just a plain old mole, at least if it is considered a Clark's nevus, you have removed it before it actually became cancer. It is entirely possible to only have one, as well- although they do take samples of any others that look fishy, and may recommend removal of others. Your friend will be just fine. She should have it removed, and take care to wear sunscreen, monitor other moles she may have, and limit sun exposure. She would definitely want to avoid tanning salons. Fortunately, there are some good sunless tanning products on the market now, so it won't mean she has to become a snowball. And on a more positive note, by using the sunscreen and avoiding tanning, she will not tend to wrinkle as badly as other folks who don't take the precautions."

This picture is a good example of how I'm feeling now:

Thanks SO much, all of you....for your positive thoughts, good wishes and prayers.

xoxo

By request

My oldest daughter told me I needed to post something else because those "skin cancer" pictures were grossing her out.

So....."D", this ones for you! ;-)

Here are some pictures that I took of MoMo the other day. I went a little crazy in the dog section of Wal-mart and bought him a scarf and some sunglasses.

Doesn't he look like a total bad ass in this picture?

That's my little buddy....mud stained beard and all.

Feel better now, "D"?!?!?

Update on skin cancer

(this is very similar to how the "moles" looked before removal)

First of all.....I want to thank each and everyone of you for your wonderful comments. I intend to go back and respond to each one personally.

Second.....the top photo is of one of the two extractions that I had yesterday afternoon.

Third.....I'm very relieved as I expected it to be much worse.

As I said....I had two extractions. That's how the doctor referred to them. He took a "mole" (we'll just call them that) off of each one of my legs. Out of every thing I showed him on my body...and trust me....we covered some territory.....these were the only two places that concerned him. The places on my back that I was so concerned about turned out to be nothing.

I told him that each place was new....as in since summer of '08. So that's good. Each place was fairly small and only required 3 or 4 stitches. The worst part was the shots to numb each place. But I expected that.

I have an appointment with the doctor next Wednesday at 1:30. I'll have the stitches removed at that time as well as get the results of the biopsies, and we'll discuss the course of action depending on the results. The doctor gave me best case and worst case scenarios. I appreciated that.

While I was there one of his assistants made an appointment for me with an eye doctor to check the spot on my lower left eyelid. The doctor examined it himself and said he'd never seen anything like it, but that it appeared to be hyper-pigmentation (like a "sun spot"). And while he'd never seen hyper-pigmentation in that particular area, there IS pigment there, so it would make sense if it were that. Regardless, he and I both were in agreement that I should see a specialist. That appointment is scheduled for February 11th.

The doctor did discuss how they would "repair" that area if anything has to be removed from my eyelid. Again....I appreciated how the doctor gave me best and worst case scenarios. And also....the "spot" on the rim of my eyelid is new: pointed out to me at my last eye exam in September '08.

Thanks again....ALL OF YOU.....for your kindness and concern.

Y'all are AWESOME!

Oh, and p.s. nobody told me the stitches would hurt once the numbness wore off. Duh!

Can't sleep

It's 1:20 a.m. and I'm awake worrying that I have skin cancer.

Actually, I'm fairly certain that I have it.

I deserve to have it.

I've been tanning off and on.....mostly SERIOUSLY on....since I was 15 years old.

Summers spent on the lake, on boats, getting horrible sunburns.

Weekends at Padre Island. Getting so sunburned I could peel the dead skin off in strips.

Two years in Hawaii. Every weekend spent on the beach. How could I resist? It was HAWAII! During those two years, I blended in so well that the locals thought I was a local too. The black hair down to my waist and the dark tan helped with that.

But that was nothing compared to the tans I got in North Carolina when we were stationed at Fort Bragg for almost 5 years.

I would get DARK, y'all. Super dark. As in: " so-dark-people-thought-I-was-black" dark.

In that other life.....the good little Army pilot's wife, living on base, taking care of my little girls, hanging out in the back yard with the other pilot's wives.....we'd lay out in bikinis all day. Lined up on lawn chairs or towels.....rows of us....roasting on the hot cement patios of our officer's quarters. Cooling off with a garden hose....squirt bottles of water at the ready for those hard-to-reach places. Sunscreen? Forget about it! We WANTED to bake our selves as brown as possible. Took pride in how dark we could get. Compared tan lines.

Three years in Germany followed those 5 at Fort Bragg. Needless to say, those three years I had no tan. Neither did anyone else, so I was fine with that.

Then we came to Alabama and the obsessive tanning began again in earnest. It was nothing for me to lay out 5 or 6 hours a day while the girls were in school. I'd read and roast. Taking breaks only to switch out loads of laundry. And I ALWAYS made sure to lay out between the hours of 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. You know. The times that the sun is most intense and you're supposed to avoid it.

I've lived here for 21 years and I'd say that out of those 21 years there might be a total of 3 or 4 when I didn't tan. Either outdoors or in a tanning bed. I simply LIKED having a tan....even though I'm naturally olive skinned. I just felt like I LOOKED better with a tan. You've all heard the joke: "Tan fat looks better than white fat". Boy, did I buy into that! I can't tell y'all how many weekends I spent at the club pool.....hours and hours roasting in the sun. I'd always wear a hat to protect my hair and my face, but on my body I'd use maybe an SPF 4 just for the hell of it.

So now you know I wasn't exaggerating when I said I deserve to have it. Hell, I practically ASKED for it.

There are two places on my back that I'm especially concerned about. Two more around what would be my "bikini line" if I still wore a bikini. An area on my right shoulder. A spot on the rim of the lower eyelid of my left eye that my eye doctor pointed out to me at my last exam.

I've been trying not to worry about this. What good will that do? The damage has been done. I've done the research. I know what to expect.

But now....here it is....I have an appointment with a skin cancer specialist in less than 12 hours.

And I have to admit: I'm scared.

Too tired to post much so.....

Fat ass

New shoes

Thanks for reminding me....

because I'd completely forgotten about it!

Mrs. Hall left some very supportive comments on my post about going back to the gym. She said that she'd post weekly updates as to her progress on Wednesdays and I said I'd do the same. Another reader of her's got on board with the idea as well.

Of course it totally slipped my mind until James left a comment asking about my Wednesday post.

So, here it is Holly and James. :-)

This past week was decent as far as exercise goes.

Monday morning I did a Zumba class for the first time since September. Let me just say "Whoa!" my stamina isn't what it used to be AND I'd forgotten how the instructor likes to run the class over by 15 minutes. So my fat butt danced for over an hour that morning. Then......at 11:oo, I had a weight training session with Suzie.

Tuesday I had another session with Suzie and walked on the treadmill for 45 minutes.

I also got weighed by the gym's nutritionist for Scale Back Alabama. Ugh! I hadn't gained anything, nor had I lost. Oh well.....

Wednesday I took the day off since I'd already exercised 4 hours. I don't want to over-do things this time. I'm SO afraid of injuring my back again.

Thursday another weight training session with Suzie. I worked out with two other gals. I enjoy working out with partners. Makes the time go by and we encourage each other. Not to mention the conversations we have while we're working out. Good times!

I found this new (to me) drink at Winn-Dixie the other day.

It's tastes pretty good,
especially considering that it's only 100 calories.

My food plan was good for the week. I DO find that I still want to eat Mexican food at times. I solved that problem by ordering a la carte off the menu at our favorite restaurant. If those refried beans aren't in front of me I can't eat them, but I can still get my rice fix!

I don't do well with depravation.

Freakishly on target

You Act Like You Are 32 Years Old

You are a thirty-something at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! You're responsible, wise, and have enough experience to understand a lot of the world. You're at the point in your life where you understand yourself pretty well. You are figuring out what you want... and how to get it!

What Age Do You Act?

*Saw this over at Dutchie's. :-)

Saturday at the movies

I love love LOVE movies.

I do.

I used to watch them all the time. Sometimes two or three or even four in one day. I'd rent them, buy them, had Netflix, be at every opening weekend for all the blockbusters....a regular fanatic.

Then a couple of years ago I stopped watching movies like I used to. Not sure why. I think partially it was because I didn't enjoy watching them alone anymore. I missed having someone with me to laugh at the funny parts, groan at the bad ones I'd invariably choose, discuss the ones that were thought provoking.

My girls used to watch movies with me all the time. We'd pile up on the couch....wearing pajamas, eating junk food, laughing, crying, cringing in fear. We had our favorites that we'd watch over and over again. When they'd come home from Auburn for weekends or holidays or summer jobs we'd have movie marathons. We all remember those times fondly.

My number one movie-going buddy was my best friend of twenty years, Melinda. Bless her heart....she died 4 years ago. Breast Cancer. Melinda loved movies as much as I did. We'd go every weekend if there was something we wanted to see. She was SO much fun to go to the movies with....such a huge part of my movie going history. For a long time after she died, it was hard for me to go to the movies. It didn't feel right being there without her. It made me sad.

I'm telling y'all this because today I did something that I haven't done in years: I saw two movies at the movie theater in one day.

My husband and I saw "Gran Torino" at a matinee this afternoon. I can't say enough good things about this movie. We both thought it was terrific. I highly recommend it and will be amazed if it's not nominated for major awards come Oscar time.

(Oh, and let me just say: Clint Eastwood might be 78 years old, but he's still got it goin' ON!)

Then this evening I went with one of my girl friends to see "Bride Wars". She and I were both fully prepared for this movie to be BAD because all the review were so awful. We didn't care....we wanted to see it anyway. Surprise! It was cute....better than we expected, and perfect for a girl's night out.



So....

Have any of y'all seen either of these movies?

If you have, what did you think?

Not yet

Originally I had planned to do a post yesterday about my consultation with a plastic surgeon.

Before Christmas I had scheduled an appointment with this doctor who had been referred to me by friends.

I had an appointment for Tuesday afternoon.

I just couldn't do it. I couldn't go. I know how I am. I would have gotten in there....he would have started discussing options with me and I would have wanted to have everything "done". Take the easy way out.

Then I thought: I've managed to go 52 years with no surgery or Botox or fillers or any of the myriad of things that are available to us these days.

I'm not saying I'll never do anything. I probably will.

I'm just not going to right now.

Good thing we bought that hot tub....

'cuz OMG am I SORE!

But I feel more energetic already, so that's a major plus.

Yesterday afternoon I walked 3 miles for my cardio.

This morning I had another session with Suzie......a great workout: triceps, chest and legs with some super sets thrown in just for the hell of it.

Right after that I walked 3 miles on the treadmill at the gym.

Then went and had lunch.....

mmmmmm....
Y'all are probably thinking: Broccoli/rice casserole?
WTF?!?!?
But I figured after two hours of working out, it would be ok.

My philosophy on eating is to be sensible.

Not to deny myself anything, but to choose carefully
and think about what I eat before I eat it.

For instance: since I had that casserole at lunch,
I had low fat yogurt and Kashi granola for dinner.

Yum!

*Editor's note: Contrary to how it may appear, I do NOT get kick-backs from Kashi.

Day one.....

I got the day off to an auspicious start by sleeping until 10:30 a.m.

I was supposed to be at the gym for my session with Suzie at 11:00 a.m.

Luckily nothing is more than a 10 or 15 minute drive here in Hell.

The gym is less than 5 minutes away.

I considered my running around here getting myself dressed, getting the dogs put away and eating my breakfast (Kashi cookie and 2% milk) in the car as my "warm-up".

The session was pretty good other than the fact that my workout partner would NOT shut the fuck up.

Good lord! Stop wasting all your energy on reenacting your child's stomach virus dry heaves and do some crunches!!!!!

This was my afternoon snack.
No strawberries because they cost 3.98 a quart at Wal-mart and don't even look good.

This is my favorite snack bowl.

I tell you this because I know you care about stuff like that.

Back to reality

I don't know if any of you have noticed or not, but I haven't worked out since freakin' mid-SEPTEMBER when I injured my back.

I KNOW!

I'm shocked too!

I've pretty much been living my life like that chick in the image right there.

Only with short black hair, a MUCH bigger ass and two small dogs rather than one.

I even have the pink slippers.

So Monday it's back to the gym.

I'm back on my trainer's schedule for 3 times a week and I've signed up
to be on a "Scale Back Alabama" team. Our focus is to lose 10 pounds in 10 weeks.

And..... just to prove how serious I am about this; I'm putting it out here y'all.

My fat ass is back up to 146.5 on my stubby little 5'3 frame.

I had reached my goal weight of 135....which is still on the high side of the weight charts for my age, frame, etc....but which I was satisfied with. I don't want to be a stick-insect-looking old broad.

*sigh*

Now to get back to that....and regain the nice looking arms, shoulders and back that I had obtained.

Oh.

And I haven't totally ruled out liposuction.

Just sayin'.