I'll be back....

Eventually.....

I know I said I was going to be a better blogger (say that 3 times real fast!), but I've spent this week recovering from the last two weeks....then this afternoon, we got some not-so-good-medical news from Sweet Man's doctor.

So.......I won't be posting again until we get the report back.

I'm just not feeling it....not in the mood....too many other things on my mind.

Please think positive thoughts for Sweet Man.

Now.....play nice until I get back!

Engagement Party

The Engagement Party went off beautifully with the exception of the storm that came up about 30 minutes after the start.

That didn't stop everyone from having a fabulous time. Due to the storm, I don't have as many pictures of the decorations as I would have liked. These photos still give you an idea of how lovely the party was and the fun that was had. There were many, many photos of my daughters and their significant others, but I can't post them. Also lots and lots of photos of guests, but I wasn't sure how most of them would feel about their photos being on the internet.

Sooooooo........these are what we're left with:

(all photos taken by my son-in-law. He's so talented and I really appreciate him always taking pictures for me, when I'm sure he'd rather just relax and be a guest at the party. Thanks, Z!)

lovely lanterns....
and
some guests.

one of two food tables
I was very happy with how they looked

Desserts!
polka dot petit fours and mini-cheesecakes!

Little Pissy has cute friends

Pretty Ash...who has been friends with Little P since they were
in kindergarten, me and Hair Guy

Drinkin' (sweet tea~seriously!)

This is what my hair looked like after running
around poolside in the rain bringing in decorations.

I look like an exhausted, drowned rat.

The party was so much fun, but so much work!

I'm glad it went well, but also VERY glad it's over.

Now I can get back to my life of gym-going, tanning, lunches with friends and blogging~which I've really sucked at lately.

I hope to get around to visit everyone in the next few days. :)

I love 'Guanabee'

Please....if you haven't already....check out this site.

After all...who doesn't like a smart-ass Latino, right?


Wallowing in the stinky pit of slow news at the end of such a brutal August has left the Miami Herald (and us) no choice but to hype up tomorrow’s full release of the most comprehensive study ever done about geriatric sex habits. (Phrases like “erection trouble” and “vaginal dryness” are just the tip.) Published in today’s New England Journal of Medicine, the study surveyed from 3,005 senior citizens about doing the nasty to come to the conclusion that your grandma shags like a minx. Meaning, she and many of her buddies still have sex. A lot. The findings reinforce the reason the study was commissioned in the first place, something we knew already knew—that “sex is important to health and happiness.” Diminutive Dr. Ruth decides to weave this truth into some graphic advice:

“Older people should stop looking at their bodies and saying, ‘My body doesn’t look like it did when I was 25.’ Go out and buy some sexy lingerie, not necessarily the ones that younger people buy,” she urged.

Gross.

Texas!

Y'all.....so much happened while I was in Texas, I won't even try to tell it all.

Just know that I shopped, (of course) had a mani-pedi, ate too much, laughed a LOT, stayed up late and had a fabulous time with my family....as usual.

Here are just a few of the 70 pictures I took while I was there.

....with two of my great-nieces

with my hilarious niece, Jos
(her shirt says "Not Everything is Flat In Kansas")
I'd say she lives us to that!

My sister-in-law and one of my nieces are florists
so they did all the flower arrangements themselves.
The rest of us were to have "helped".
Mostly we just b.s.'d, ate, drank and laughed our asses off.
Here is Molly checking out the flowers.

One of the finished arrangements

Pretty pregnant Rob....

Cute dress!

Cutest cake!
Very Anne Geddes...

Lunch Monday before my flight with my brother, sister-in-law
and the expectant couple.

Please keep my nephew-in-law in your thoughts and prayers.
He leaves for Iraq September 7th.

...and y'all wonder why I call it Hell....

This was the lead story on the news this morning from our State's capitol........


August 16, 2007


Big first day at Bass Pro
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Seven minutes after the doors opened Wednesday night at Prattville's Bass Pro Shops, fire officials closed the turnstiles because the sprawling 185,000-square-foot megastore had reached its capacity of about 3,100.

Yeah. Big news. The first Bass Pro Shop opened in the area.

Woo Hoo!

Thankfully, I'm about to get in my car and drive to Atlanta.

The excitement around here is just too much for me.

On the road again......

I'm sure y'all are thinking: does this bitch ever stay home?!?!?

*sigh* I really should.....

but duty calls....

in Texas.

My niece (daughter of my favorite brother) and her husband will be at my brother's house for a couple of days before the husband leaves for Iraq in September.

My niece is pregnant with their first child.

My sister-in-law decided at the last minute (while we were in NYC) to throw them a big baby-shower-farewell-party.

We're talking 80 guests so far.

Luckily, sister-in-law is having it at a local venue...and it will be catered.

I hope.

I spoke to her last night and she hasn't even ordered the food!!!!!

Good Lord!

She says..."well....it's only bar-b-que".

Yeah. But who's going to serve it?

I'm happy to go out and be supportive....I'll enjoy seeing all my family....but my happy ass isn't flying to Texas to dish out bar-b-que!

I told her to line up some friends and co-workers to help serve.

I plan on looking too cute to be ladling out food to a bunch of people I don't know.

I leave Thursday.



















*No. These are not my suitcases. These are cardboard and would never survive plane travel.
Or hold all my stuff.

It only gets worse.....

This afternoon I went to the county jail to test the inmate "mother" of the child.

While I was waiting for her to be brought in, one of the administrators told me that this wasn't this particular inmate's first trip to the rodeo.

Yeah.....turns out this woman has been in prison before....for the very same offense.

And get this: prison is where her current husband (the cancer ridden man of yesterday's post) met her!

The dumb ass was there visiting his wife-at-the-time (evidently this guy really knows how to pick 'em) when he spotted this chick across the prison yard.

It was love at first sight....hillbilly-prison love~ but love none the less.

He divorced one female prisoner and married another....this one....the one who went on to rape his 12 year old son.

One of the guards brought her in.....

I was surprised by how young and fresh faced she was....pale skin, freckles, wide eyes, full lips...what I normally would have considered a pretty girl.

It was still hard to look at her.

Especially knowing that she was a serial offender...sexual abuser of children...

I took the sample and as I finished filling out the paperwork, I told her that I'd tested her baby yesterday...what a beautiful child she was....

The inmate's response: "I know. My husband told me you held her yesterday."

Ummmm...okay.

After the inmate was led back to her cell, the administrator told me that the cancer-ridden husband comes (in his wheelchair) to visit the inmate every day...... that the husband has complete confidence in her and knows that the baby is his.

I no longer feel sorry for him.

I hope the baby IS his....then his poor 12 year old son will be spared DNA testing.

I don't know whether to be sad or disgusted....

so I'll just be both.

I had a case today that makes me seriously consider quitting the DNA collection job.

A foster child was brought in to be tested....a baby...barely 3 weeks old.

The "alleged father" was also there to be tested.

The "mother" is in jail.

The baby was absolutely beautiful....so sweet and tiny.

The "father"...*sigh*....the father....so sad.....suffering from the effects of Chemo...using a walker...frail...needed help getting up and down from the chair.

Turns out...there is another "alleged father".

The 12 year old son of the frail, cancer ridden man I tested today.

The "mother" of the baby is in jail for molesting the12 year old...her stepson.

She's awaiting sentencing.

I don't know when I'll be testing the 12 year old.

I can hardly stand the thought of it.

I don't know if I can do it.

I'm scheduled to go to the county jail and test the "mother" tomorrow.

I would decline testing her...mostly because it makes me furious and physically ill to think of what she did, but if I don't do it, it will just prolong the processing of the case.

So I'll do it.

My question is: how do I get a sample from her without throwing up?

People are stupid: part 203 in a continuing series

Y'all know I'm having an engagement party for Little Pissy and her fiance on August 25th, right?

I've reserved the pool at the club for the party. I've hosted many parties and showers there....some of you may remember....and even remember the pictures of those events. I'm too pissed off to provide a link. But trust me: it's a nice place.

So imagine my delight yesterday afternoon when I arrived at the pool to find this:


but all over the brick walls of the pavilion. Nice, huh?

Turns out....some single, neglectful mom/ pharmacist/rich neighborhood ho ~threw a 13th birthday party for her daughter the day before. Stupid bitch gave the kids "washable" grafitti paint and those kids went to town on those brick walls.

Sure....they tried to clean it off...but it didn't come off.

I'm calling both of the owners of the development today.

That shit WILL be off those walls by August 25th, goddamn it!



p.s. The reason I knew who did it? The neglected children of this stupid bitch were at the pool. ALONE. Which is not allowed. They told me they did it....volunteered the information. So yeah...a barely 13 year old and an 11 year old are alone at the pool.....there is no lifeguard of course....and the rules at the gate say "no unaccompanied children under the age of 16". Guess that rule doesn't apply to stupid bitches.

Woot!

As of today, I've lost 23 pounds and have reached my original goal weight.

I celebrated by eating a 2 piece chicken strip kid's meal from Sonic. (Only 5 Weight Watchers points)

I've decided that I want to lose another 10 pounds. I'm not stressing about it....it can come off when it comes off. I plan on continuing with what I've been doing....and I'm expecting to lose some during the boot camp. But maybe I'll gain some.....muscle weighs more than fat and all that...all I know is: I want arms like that chick's a few posts down.

Hope everybody has a great weekend!

Alas.....

slow news day at DNA testing yesterday.

All the people who came in must have been on medication.....or been smoking weed. They were a pretty mellow bunch.

Instead...I offer this....which Little Pissy sent me.

I still laugh every time I look at it.