Thursday, June 19, 2008
Why had I forsaken him? My Lord. Now it seems too late to turn back time. Impressions have formed of my earthly self, the person I was sure I had under lock and key. How quickly those impressions stuck and how permanent they seem. Yes it is indeed all my fault all the wrong choices all the disregard for feelings, I was too caught up in my own world where love was all there is. Why have I come this far yet after everything I’ve done and laid out on the table, I’m still waiting…am I fooled? I know I haven’t been walking His way all this while. but now it seems impossible to do so….how can I say no? when it hurts the one you love. To see the misery in his eyes I just want to give in…oh Lord stop me frm falling. I’ve realised now that I’m in too deep I can’t seem to redeem myself…the feelings have become too complicate and more fragile then ever…one wrong move, even the right move could destroy it. Can anyone hear my heart’s cry? Or does anyone have an answer? Pray they say…God will show you the way…yes I have faith that all will be well in the end but I know the wait will be too long for me to bear….A thousand days, not 40 is what I have to face. The time distance discourages me. If I don’t wait, a hundred thousand more will be waiting to come. If love isn’t something of this earth then let me desire it with all my heart…let me wait and hope in it.
What are his thoughts? What are his plans? They have all seem to diminish. Can I start over again? Can I start from last November? I want to erase all that happened and do it all over. Lord I promise I’d get it right if you gave me just one more chance.
-when will i belong?
emptyin out my thots`...
at
4:54 PM
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
it's 4.35pm....all alone at home...the future's bleak n scary, my heart's empty. i can't seem to fill it. i know where i've gone wrong. its in almost everything. my love i hope its not too late to change...i'm sorry i havent had the time to think. i'm sorry for everthing i've ignored. i know saying is not enough...but i'll change you'll see.
emptyin out my thots`...
at
4:35 PM
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
you're the reason why
i stay up all night
counting the hours
till you'd be gone
you're the reason why
i pick up every sound
hoping it's ya key at the door
the way you walk
with your orange crumpler
reminds me of days
when you were later
than me for school
it makes me laugh
all the stupid things you do
just for my candid shots
and to make me smile
i forget you'd scold
whenever i get hurt
cause i love the part
when you frown
and ask if i'm okay
i still can't figure out
the way you played my heart
it drives me crazy
but still i know you care
baby you know
exactly what i need
when i'm in the blue
and baby i know
you'll still beam and hug
me when i say
Happy Belated 16th Month!
emptyin out my thots`...
at
5:02 PM
baby i hope u know
it makes me wonder
how you'd look
when you take your first peek
a gaze of curiousness
at a world i don't know
hoping you're the one
who'd help me figure out
what's this life all about
i think that maybe
well maybe
it'd be your smile
that tells me i've got it right
for once
maybe i won't be
the mom you'd want
but that's okay
just remember
your daddy's ya hero
9/1/08
emptyin out my thots`...
at
4:24 PM
Expecting-a little less
sitting...waiting...
for his birth
the date so ambiguous
the month-May yet so far
the rest of the world moves along
as i sit and breathe the morning air
telling me there's something i'm missing
yet there's nothing out there for keeping
i cut myself over and over
to answer my question.
the most beautiful things are painful
like drizzle on the your shoulders
loving for the first time..
they say my life's over
when its just beginning
i'd say it has to end
so it can start...over.
9/1/08
emptyin out my thots`...
at
3:06 PM
Sunday, November 11, 2007
lonliness
haunt me all you want
hurt can't be more biting
all i knew has lost its feeling,
all i know seems too bright
a missing part
he'll never understand
he won't ever know why
i feel the way i do
just another neglected
waiting for that line.
it doesn't seem real
i'll never get there,
will i cure myself
before it's too late
i know not what fate
has in store a mystery.
there in the distance
someone familiar
'Lonliness' i know too well.
deep in my heart i feel
the stab just like mine
i travel back on the old dirt path
to find the vines too thick
my difference makes it hard
to reach through the thorns
it's pain to feel in vain now
the sweet sorrow i once enjoyed.
~kiara~
emptyin out my thots`...
at
6:21 PM
Monday, July 30, 2007
ive just deleted an entire gloomy entry lol.....guess it's not posting material....oh wells....i'm so free now...i dunno what to do with myself....think i need a hobby or sth... i've decided to dedicate all my free time to studying...but somehow i cant bring myself to do anything....lol....okay u know what tyron jus asked me to start a new brighter blog....but i'm too attached to this already...so why not begin with a bright entry? lol...okay.....lets start....my life rocks! i get to go out wif all my old friends! spend my time slowly studying...pondering over texts and watchin all the late night tv shows....heh what else? oh i get to take my time to go to places....no more rushing....no more lying.......more housework and erm....daydreaming(my childhood hobby)? haha.....can i ask for more???? okay lets get real....the truth is...i soo miss him TT 7 weeks in army rahhhhhhhhhhh! i'll miss the heart warming food, the laming around, the animae watching....the KFC craze and sushi waving and scolding him, and gossiping and pillow fights and *pillow fights* and surprises and anni celebrations and going out and tuition lessons and made up songs and hugs and kisses!!!! alright.....it's nv gonna happen right? so i'll jus copy lit notes.... do geog geofile zzzzzz -.- cya!
emptyin out my thots`...
at
4:58 PM
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Wouldn't It Be Nice
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
The happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was never ending
Oh Wouldn't it be nice
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true (run, run, run)
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married (we could be married)
And then we'd be happy (then we'd be happy)
Wouldn't it be nice (ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba)
You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Oh, wouldn't it be nice
good night my baby sleep tight my baby
good night my baby sleep tight my baby
good night my baby sleep tight my baby
good night my baby sleep tight my baby
emptyin out my thots`...
at
9:49 PM
Monday, May 07, 2007
so lost in your reverie
you failed to see
what makes roses scarlet red
with expectations so high
you passed on mine
to look for what
was never there
emptyin out my thots`...
at
3:16 PM
