so i need to tell somebody, cos i feel like hell
and i need to sleep but i can't

i wanna just have rest
and im gettin really scared bout this allergy thing

just ... wanna sleep

gettin paranoid again

not a good road to be on

just breath

so how long i can postpone it
punishin someone for what
just for the reason why
do i really need a reason

not smokin kills
my temper

better to slowly killin my self than my passion

just focus on the positive
stay positive

breathin is the answer
breathin is a cure
breath

presents from thr unwanted

not talkin is my slow death
silence outside is good, the inner one not so much
its like a stone tied to my neck, dragin me down, further

like i had something that eats me from the inside
i can feel it growin in my stomach
alien

but im the one bein alienated

feel like i've been given an empty box for a present


no self-pity
just puttin it out there...

morphine is cure for my pain
or the story of how a new beginning is just such a relief

zabavno e kak na letishtata sichki se gledat stranno i kak sichko nepoznato ti e strqskashto
i da za sega ne vidqh nito edna jena, momiche ili baba s cvqt na kosata razlichen ot ruso, kestenqvo ili cherno...
svetat pak pridobiva novi izmereniq ;)

im so scared, scared of all the memories that gonna haunt me
scared that i still can't cry
scared that maybe i won't make it
scared of the big bed all to myself

.....

again....the same battle
i hate my body
again...

wish i could rip it from the inside and let myself free!!!
it's so disgusting
the reflection in the mirror

i think is goin to take long, long time

im flyin so high in my expectations, in my hopes
so high that the ground is just a dream

everything takes time to get use to
somethings needs more time than other

and you and all the other boys needed special time to get over
but eventually i did

in the begining i didn't want to
i fought to stay in that feeling, to proove that there is a reason to keep on lovin you and hope
but eventually even i see that its a lost cause

it takes time an courage to face the truth
it takes a lot more time to live with it thou
to except it and be ok
to move on

it will take time, tears, joy, disaster after disaster but everything will come to place when its suppose to be...

release

имам нужда всички, колкото се може повече хора да разберат за болката ми.
да е всепризната, всякаш това ще и придаде значение, значимост.
а тя е значима само и единствено за мен, само аз ще я усетя ...другото е имитация

пия в продължение на 2 седмици и това нито ми помага, нито ми вреди
просто помага вечер да намеря покой
някакъв
фалшив
или
не
има го

минават всякакви мисли, каква ли не се нарекох и то пак, за да съм нещо повече от себе си
ха, кога "алкохолик" стана повече от това да кажа, че съм себе си
криворазбрана съм генерално от себе си
но има наченки и не губя сили и смисъл

и пак се сетих за теб 3-ти, 5-ти, незнам кой по ред в списъка на сърдечните ми трепети
вече дори си мисля, че не е кой знае какво като пиша за някой - имаше ги толкова много...а още колко ще бъдат възпяти в мойте оди ...ах

с циничността сме си приятелки тази вечер, змийте се прокрадват между зъбите ми
но болката ме гризе и с нищо не мога да я прикрия
ръцете ми изсъхват от студа

напукват се както образа ти
изсъхнал и безжизнен

подердна цигара и бира
музиката се стеле като мъгла

но все още не мога да подтисна нуждата от одобрение
колкото и алкохол да има
всичко е вътре

телефон ни разделя
или по скоро смелост или вътрешният ми глас

дай ми знак

give me a sign
if i have to i 'm gonna speak your langiuage
it was bout time

i don't want to trun this into a love poem but if i have to i would

once upon a time there was a boy and a girl
so confused
but they found each other
and still everything was outta space
hard to understand
hard to handle
he was quite
she was far emotional
but they were together
talks, tears, dancing, madness, sex, sometimes good, sometimes empty
sometimes how it was supposed to be
the boy let the girl to be irrational
the girl let the boy to be insecure
and everything in between
but always there was a boy and a girl
a girl and a boy
they switch places
cigaret ashes all over the place
it was wet, dry, it was everything
the girl
and a boy
it
was
everything that they knew bout life
bout living
now cigaret smoke in their eyes
ashesh in their eyes
machine guns in their ears
countin the times
countin the time in their ears
but there was a magic door
a door
that holds the key
a key that they forgot about
too much confucion in time
one grasp away
a key to desire
desires of things that could be done
dreams to be revealed
hold my hand and the door will open itself
no key needed
no words
just a ....
a taste
a gentle movement
a breath
im always so unsure
so inside
but...
you bring me outside
remember
the boy and the girl
they could move mountens cos they were together