Catching up...

In February of 2013, I got pregnant after 7 1/2 years of trying and it was a great pregnancy.  I was only really sick when I didn't eat on time, or if I ate too little or to much in a sitting.  Overall, I lost 30 pounds and felt great.  In November 2013, I had my beautiful Marilyn Kay Workman who has brightened our lives.  She is a true blessing and I think of her as my miracle baby.  We will be celebrating her 2nd birthday in 24 short days and it makes me feel old but blessed as she is healthy and hopefully happy.  

When Marilyn was born, her cousin Braelyn was there and from that moment on Braelyn was hooked on Mary like Mary was hooked on Braelyn.  Braelyn helped Jessica babysit her while I was at work and she did most of the care taking.  She ensures she is fed, changed and dressed.  I think sometimes she thinks as Marilyn as a life sized baby doll, but the relationship that they have is irreplaceable. Emalyn also loves to care for Mary as does Kaitlynn but Braelyn definitely wins her attention every time.

In December of 2014, we bought our first house after renting apartments for over 9 1/2 years.  We were ready for a place to call our own and we needed space with our newest addition getting bigger and more mobile. The house we bought is in Springville.  It is a cookie cutter house and we wouldn't have found it had Debbie Valgardson not knocked on the door after we learned the house we made on offer on 5 doors south had water in the crawlspace.  She wanted to see if other neighbors had water issues in their crawlspaces too.  Well, she happened to knock on a door that had a for sale by owner sign in the lawn.  Later that night I came back and we walked through the house and it was great, clean, open, had 2 floors so lots of room.  They were in the middle of building a new patio in the back yard (my favorite part).  Spencer was not able to come as he worked late but I told him all about it and how I really liked it and that if we didn't make an offer on it soon, we would probably lose it. The seller called Debbie after we departed the house and told her that someone else was going to come look at the house a second time and if we wanted it, we better grab it.  Well, we made an offer and Spencer didn't even know what the house looked like besides what was on the small pictures I showed him.  A few months later, we were the proud owners of our first house thanks to Grandpa Spencer who gave us our deposit.  It is great though there are many things I want to change/improve/finish.  I wish I was talented enough to know electrical, painting, staining, siding, sump pumps and hardwood floor installation etc.  

I want to be a jack of all trades or know enough people to barter with for the improvements I want/need.  Just the other day, I was working on getting a new light installed in our kitchen.  It took me forever to find the right breaker, so by the time I was ready to assemble everything Spencer came home and took over.  I was a bit upset as I wanted to do it so I could say I installed a new light all by myself. I wanted to cross something off my long list of "things I can do to try to feel better about myself"  but he wanted to be the man and do it too.  

It is good to come home to a house of my own and not have to worry about other peoples property as often.  I only wish I was a better housekeeper...

August of 2015 we celebrated our 10 year anniversary.  We were going to go to the Roof in Salt Lake City but after thinking about it I did not want to go just to eat a $100 dinner.  So we went to the Cheesecake factory while Jessica babysat for us. It was a great night and a much needed date.

Spencer and I don't see each other much so I feel that I have learned to not have him around.  I feel empty and alone and like I need to do everything alone which I think he feels that I am to do everything too as he is not home help.  I know he doesn't expect me to do it all but having a house is a much bigger responsibility and not cleaning and keeping up, I fear I have lost it.  I feel like I live in a pigsty and want a maid to come clean it so I can maintain it from there.  Life is hard.  Life is unfair and I have learned that if we don't work at life, it makes life a lot harder. 

I realize that we are supposed to experience trials so that we can be stronger, wiser, tougher, smarter, but most of all, closer to our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ.  I have had a lot commence in my life over the last 10 years  and the trials never stop. Doubting, fears, joy, sorrow and happiness are always there. Sometimes extremely noticeable, other times a little harder to recognize.  The adversary is always looking for a way to put a wedge between us and something good.  When we falter, he jumps in.  He is not our friends who are there yo help us and pick us up when we fall.  He will keep us down and hold us there if we are not willing to fight for who we are and what our end goal is. Some people in my extended family struggle with depression (myself included) and sometimes we fail to see the good in our lives because our view is foggy with feelings of self disdain, self loathing, life loathing, and unhappy thoughts. 

Recently I have been trying to think of ways to help myself and others realize what we are taught at church almost weekly; we are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us.  He is always watching over us and protecting us from things that can harm, hurt or cause pain.  While those things are not prevented and we don't have all the money in the world, he is sending us little rays of light and love to help us get through.  The hard part is that we have to do our part to be able to feel it.  To feel His love.  To see the blessings that He chooses to send us.  For example, I have a great husband.  He is loving, kind and works hard so that we can pay the bills.  I know I take him for granted, but he is a blessing in my life and I know that as I work towards a healthier relationship with him and ask Heavenly Fathers help I will get assistance.  Now it is easier said and done.  I am not an affectionate person because I have feelings of self loathing and life loathing.  I feel that I am disgusting and hated and not favored in the eyes of the Lord.  

Am I wrong?  Probably, so I know that I need to watch for the little things that will help me to recognize who I am, what my true worth is and mostly that Heavenly Father doesn't hate me.  He may be disappointed in me for what I have done or not done in my life but He does not hate his children.  He may not feel that I am worthy to carry and bear another of His children, or He may know that there is a child out there who needs to be part of our family through adoption or Foster Care.  As I begin to feel better about myself, my marriage and my relationship with God I hope to be able to know the path he would have me take.   I have a desire to become a Foster mom so I can help children who cannot be with their families but need stability. I just want to know if that is the right path for us.  Can we save enough money to adopt a child?  Will a family pick us if adoption is the right choice for us?  These and many other questions storm my mind daily as I strive to know what my purpose is.

I will soon be unemployed and I am scared, but as the months have passed, I knew it was coming.  I don't know what we are going to do about Health Insurance or if we can make it on Spencer's income but I have felt for months that I need to be home with Marilyn.  I have lost 5 babysitters in less than 2 years due to better jobs, or family changes, and that has been one of the most stressful things about motherhood.  I am just lucky and oh so grateful that I have had Kristi and Jessica to help me or I know I would have been let go a lot sooner.  Though I don't know what is to come, I know that I need to gain a better relationship with my Savior as I know that is the only way I will survive this wicked world.

The view from the Y

        I was on top of the world, and I felt very accomplished.  I didn't think I could make it but I did, I was on top of Provo, Ut and I wasn't even in pain.  The view was beautiful, the shiny cars, the beautiful Provo Temple, and Utah Lake. Sad how it wasn't as full as it once was but still shimering in the sunlight.  It was Green in color but not like Algae Green it was more of a Soft Green with a touch of blue.  How much better could it be?  I was so please with myself for accomplishing something so hard and difficult for a body that is entirely out of shape.  I could see my old apartment building and BYU campus and the Provo Power facility.  I was looking at the Valley as the Pioneers once saw it only with a few more houses and Buildings.  ( I am being sarcastic, it is totally different and I know it).  The hustle and bustle of the city didn't take away from my joy and the serenity of being above all the chaos.
       I have a new work out partner and she is creative and wanting to work out daily.  I am still sore from out work out on Saturday but it is great to be building muscle and fighting fat.  I love the outdoors and hope to get in better shape and be fit for the first time in my life.  What would it be like to not pant everytime I want to go for a jog?  I don't know yet but hope I will one day soon.  The way I see it, is that I am not in very good shape and I have a lot of fat on me that I need to improve.  Improving might bring me regularity (monthly) and more energy.  It might help me offer better service to others who are moving or need a helping hand, it might make me feel good about myself.  I have discovered that working out helps me feel good and it allows me to blow off some steam and let my frustrations out.  I hope I see results because if I plateau again, I will be discouraged and I may stop trying again.

Me . . . A Role Model!

Hi Friends,

It has been a while since my last entry but only because I didn't have anything to report till now.  My uneventful life would bring you to a deep sleep and I wouldn't want to do that to you.

So as for the title of this entry "Me . . . A Role Model"   I have decided to be a mentor.  We have a program here called Safety New Mentor Program and it is an organization through the government that helps kids who are in troubled homes learn what it is like to be functional in society and it allows them to see normal social settings.  Now I know I am not entirely normal or functional but I came from a great family and I have great friends who are great examples to me and I have wonderful neices and nephews whom I adore.  So I thought hey, I can do that too.  So here I am a mentor.  The child I picked is a 7 year old named Madisen. I haven't met her yet but I hear that her mom has a "Messy" Background so I hope it is a smooth trip to normalcy! 

Anyways, I am really excited to share talents and hobbies with a new person and to become a friend that she can rely on.  Wish me luck!

Personal History

I have decided to write a personal history and need some help.  If you can, I need stories about me that you have been involved in or remember.   I am struggling with coming up with a Chronology and stories so if you have some time and can I would appreciate the help.

Thank You :-)

Christmas is almost here!

I cannot believe that Christmas is here! It doesn't feel like the holidaysbut I know it will as long as it doesn't snow to badly we will be able to travel to where we are going.  This year we are going to spend Christmas eve with my sister and Chrismas day with Spencer's sister.  My sister lives North of Provo in Saratoga Springs and his sister lives south of Provo in Spanish Fork.  It should be a lot of fun and it will bring me joy to watch the kids faces light up Christmas morning. I wish we could go home this year but money and time do not permit so we will lay back and enjoy the ride.

I know that I am blessed and tried with what my Heavenly Father has planned for me.  I know that this time of year is to rejoice in the birth of my Savior and Redeemer, it is a time to be with loved ones and remember loved one that have passed. It is a time for Service and Joy and Charity and happiness. Christmas is the time to love.

Merry Christmas!

Thoughts and The Holiday Season

Well the time is here. . . Shopping, lights, trees, ornaments, cards carols. I cannot believe we are at the close of 2009 and opening a new chapter into 2010.   I am finding myself a little lost right now because I guess I am feeling guilty.  About a year ago my Grandma found out I was not going to her house for the Holidays and she told me that she gets to have me this year. . .   I let her down and now because she has left this life, I cannot spend Christmas with her.  I cannot tell her how much I love her.  I can however remember her and I still have my wonderful sweet grandpa and I love him dearly. 

Now I am not saying the Holidays won't be good because they will be great.  I am just saddened by the thought that I cannot spend it with the only grandparents I have known (till marriage).  Growing up we spent every holiday with my grand parents in their Elizabeth, CO home.  It was my favorite place to go and be.  I would go have slumber parties with my grandma and we would do crafts and play.  My grandpa was always a soft hearted man, so gentle and loving and welcoming no matter what the girls were doing.  I almost wish I was a kid again and that I could live all the holidays over again at their house with both of them and my family.  I also miss my brother this time of year.  I still have a sense of guilt from his death.  Was it me who caused him to be away so much?  Was I the cause of my mom's heart break?  Why was I so selfish that I didn't even remember he was going to be leaving the next day?  Why did he refuse to sleep?  Could I have prevented it and kept my mom happy? Should I have been the one to go?

It breaks my heart to know that I could have been the cause for all the sadness, and hurt.  But somehow I know it wasn't me, it was his time to go because Heavenly Father needed him to fulfill other tasks.  I just wish I could take away my mom and dad's heartache.  However, his death 10 years ago changed our family for good too.  I am now closer to my Sister and Brother which may not be the case today.  My parents are in love and through the loss of their son they found a new life that brought them closer together, and a huge bonus, we got to go on a family vacation and spend Christmas together on a Cruise ship after the accident!  We are a different family now than we might have been if we were to have stayed on the same path we were on.

As for my family, Jessica and Tyler have 4 kids now and even though they may have financial struggles, they are a strong family and their kids love them dearly and together with the Lord they will find a way.  Brandon and Chrissy just had their second child, a little girl named Kaylee, and he is working as a deputy at the Arapahoe County Sherriff's office, and me,  well, I am going back to school in April  for pre-nursing and I have a loving husband and a great furry child whom I adore. Then there is the center of who we are, the reason we are here, it is because of our great parents who sacrificed eveything for us. Thanks for bringing me into this world and teaching  me to be a decent person.  Thank you for helping me in all my trials and stupidities.  Thank you for Loving me when I felt all alone.


The Holidays make me think of all the things I may or may not have done throughout the year and in years past and I reflect on what I could have done better.  Thank you to all of my dear family and friends who support me.


Who can say if I 've been changed for the better, Because  I knew you?  Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

It's Friday already?

Whoa! I cannot believe it is already Friday. . . I am super excited about it though. However I do have to work tomorrow so I won't get much of a weekend but after a 5 day weekend I figure it is ok!

Spencer and I get to go to the 25th Anniversary for nUskin in LA this year, we will be working the store there but it will be a great break off the phones and it is a pretty much all expenses paid trip except for the shopping we do (if we do any) I am really excited for a break but it breaks my heart to leave my furry baby Lexie. She will be in good hands at my sister's house though! We leave the 21st and come back the 24th and I am ready. I am very lucky Spencer is going so I won't be all alone in the hotel all the time!

For those who don't know (not many of you) I have been trying to get pregnant for 3 1/2 years now and I may have a solution. The ward I am in has a lady who has "recipe" to get pregnant. She calls it "Help for Pregnancy" and it is just a series of your normal viamins that you would get in a pre natal vitamin but it is higher doses and it includes: Red Raspberry leaves so I have started taking it. I am hoping to get pregnant but if that doesn't work I hope it just regulates me. I have an out of whack system and the Red Raspberry is supposed to strenghthen the Uterine lining and it prepares the uterus to carry a baby. It also helps in recovery and nursing so it would be helpful to both mother and baby if it were taken the entire time the baby was in the womb and nursing. Anyways, I know a lot of you are child bearing age and some are having babies really soon so If you are interested in it you can get it at a health food store in a capsule, tea or serum you add to hot water. I am taking the pills. Also a side note is if you are pregnant, take vitamins B6 to help with morning sickness. The lady who I got the "recipe" from helped over 20 women get pregnant and have easy pregnancies and healthy babies.

So now that I wrote a novel of things you probably don't care about you are more educated too! I am crossing my fingers to be regulated soon so I don't have to go back to the doctor for more blood tests.

Other than that nothing is new, I am getting settled in my new apartment and eager to get LA over with so I can search for a full time job. I have had to put my hunt to a stop because I had a plane ticket and couldn't quit. However I am considering staying till after the Christmas Party so I can get an extra paycheck for Christmas.

Have a great day!

Our new apartment (still not organized)

Well, the time has come, I made curtains and now it is time to show you the place we call home! Hope it isn't moving to fast!

Well, I hope that gave you an idea... Please excuse the mess!

Hooray she is here!

My sister in law had a successful C-section on Sunday and baby Kaylee was brought into this world. I am so excited to meet her. I am going to Colorado for a day on Thursday and flying back on Friday. It will be a long trip but I need dental work done and I NEED to see that baby.

I have been packing all week and on Saturday we started to move some of our stuff into our new place. I am really excited for this new chapter but cannot wait for the move to be over. I hate cleaning and all of the manual labor. I cannot complain though cause I am oh so blessed.

I will post pics of the new place next week sometime.

Hello Good Luck

So I have been praying that I would find a place to live before the end of September and I think my prayers were finally answered. I am moving, and I am staying in my same ward and I get to keep my dog... Life seems to be getting easier as I go and for that I am grateful. We will be moving into a 2 bedroom basement apartment of a family in our ward. We will be able to plant our own small garden and have friends over without feeling like we are too crowded. The bathrooom is actually in the hall and not in the bedroom like it is now. (Sorry Skye, Jordan, Mom, Dad, Jessica and kids for making you go through my room before you could go to the bathroom).

I also got 2 tests done at the hospital to test hormone levels and thyroid and they came back normal. i need 3 more tests done but I am waiting to hear if I can get finacial assistance with them first. I hope I do cause that would make it a lot less stressful for Spencer and myself.

I get a niece in 7 days. My brother's wife Chrissy is going to get her c-section done on the 20th and I will have a new neice named Kaylee. I am really happy for them and just wish that I could be there. Jared their 2 year old will be a good big brother. Then I get another Neice in December when Kristi my sister in Law has her little angel. I am so excited. A good friend of mine (Skye) is having a baby girl around Halloween (I think) probably sooner too. Also Becky another friend is having a little boy. He will have a lot of choices come marriage time with all the girls being born! I think that all the new babies are so great. I am curious to know what Heavenly Father's plans are for the world. I know there a lot of Spirits that need their bodies before the 2nd Coming and look out cause here they come!

Well, with a move coming up and all the new baby excitement I think I am very blessed to know such great people. I am blessed to have fertile friends and family! I am blessed in being where I am and how I am today. I will admit I am a softy who feels guilty about a lot of things but I have a lot of Love to offer and I love all the little people coming into the world. I am excited to see what the future holds. Thanks to all who read my Blog, this is as close to journaling as I get and having readers makes it more of an obligation. That is why I keep doing it.

A crazy Week

My sister and her husband decided to go on a vacation... And I got to watch the kids. Going from 0-4 overnight was a little bit of a shock but it was great. I love those kids so much and they were good for the most part. We went on Friday and didn't get home till Monday night. It was a good weekend. Then on Tuesday I worked and on Wednesday, Spencer and I were finally able to celebrate our 4th Anniversary. We went to Olive Garden and ran a few errands then our car broke down... Luckily we were really close to my sister in laws house and we weren't stranded in the heat. We had to get a tow truck cause our belt broke and luckily when we got it to our mechanic, it was a pulley and it wasn't an arm and a leg to fix.

I also learned that I need to get to a doctor because my Female system is way off and I could have anemia (Iron Deficiency). So just another adventure I have to take to figure out what I need to do next.

Oh well

Well, I didn't find another job yet and all the jobs at the schools filled fast so I withdrew my 2 weeks notice at Nuskin. Hopefully I can hang in there a little longer without going to crazy and without getting too depressed about my job but it I think I will be alright. There is nothing new going on, My sister in law (Chrissy) is going to have a baby probably at the end of August so I will be an Aunt again. I love it! It is so fun to see how much growth there is in this world. So many bad things happening and yet little angels are being sent to get their bodies and fulfill the Lord's work. It is so fun to see all the babies they truly are special. I know of 5 babies being born before the end of this year I hope to meet them all... Congratulations to all you moms and mom's to be. I am truly happy for you and hope that you all find happiness and health. I am hopeful that all the births will go well and you will have healthy, well manored kids. Hugs to you all.

Say a little prayer for me?

Well it is official. I put in my two weeks notice, now I just have to get another job before the 14th or I have to withdraw it. Please cross your fingers for me cause I am really worried I won't find something better. I put in about 10 applications to the local school districts around here so if I get one of them I will be a TA, or something similar. I am also thinking about going to a place called Kelly Services to apply there to be a substitute teacher. I am so grateful that I have a helping hand in my search, I have been connected with a teacher who is going to put in a good word for me at least at her school. I just hope it will work out. My friends Skye and Lynette brought it to my mind again about how much I love kids and how great I would be working with kids. I used to work at an after school program while I was in High School and it was a lot of fun. It taught me a lot about kids and it helped me become a better person. I am praying this is the right thing for me.

I wanted to thank all of you who have replied with the advice and encouragement. It means a lot to know I have such wonderful friends and family to back me up even in my insanity... thank you.

A thought...

I never seem to have anything good to write about but I do have something on my mind today. I recently got called as the Assistant Secratary in the Relief Society in my ward. Through this calling comes responsibility and a feeling like I need to become closer to the Lord so I can have a little more insight on what is going on in my ward. It took 8 months for me to get a calling in this ward and I am only going to be here for a couple more months. Why is it that when something seems to be going right in my life I have to leave it? It happened in Idaho when I moved away from two of my best friends. Wonderful people who loved me and who were genuine in their friendship. People who have put up with me, liked me for who I am and who were always there for me. I still have yet to make a friend here that I feel I can rely on. I am grateful that I have my sisters, I love them and would do anything for them. I know they love me and I treasure their friendship so very much, but I cannot be with them all the time cause they have kids and are busy themselves.
I hate feeling alone and getting back to my point before, this calling has helped me realize that I am never alone. I have people in my ward that I can talk to and wonderful visiting teachers who care for me. I just need to rely on my Heavenly Father, more frequently and more intently so I never feel alone again. I sit at home alone at night while Spencer is working, and some nights I can't help but feel sorry for myself. Starting today, I am going to make an effort to feel loved and to feel like I have a constant companion, because I do, I just have to welcome Him in.

Babysitting makes me smile

My sister and her family went to Colorado for a Family Reunion at the beginning of July and Spencer and I got to house sit/care for her puppies. It was a lot of work cause it felt like I was constantly cleaning up messes and taking them in and out teaching them to go to the bathroom outside. However I fell in love with 5 little loving pups and soon they will all go to their new homes. I have enclosed pictures just so you can see how cute they really are!

Saturday I got to watch my sister's kids and it was fun. We went swimming and then they watched movies till their parents came to get them. They had a lot of fun. Kaitlynn and Braxton went to the 8 foot water all by themselves and they were very proud of themselves... Ema and the baby were a little more reserved than the bigger kids but they got in the pool and loved it too. I love spending time with them, I feel my nieces and nephews are my purpose in life right now cause I haven't been able to have my own kids, I am grateful for the time I get to spend with these kiddos.

New Years Resolution.... HA what was I thinking?

OK so if anyone feels stupid, it is me, I thought I could set some new goals for this year and I might have been able to with a little more motivation. Something I do not have. Well the last time I wrote was in February and I thought that maybe I should try getting started again... Maybe I will get motivated to do things if I have something to do. Well forget I ever set any goals for this year cause it ain't happening.
Let's see, since February, not much has happened... Spencer has been taking a break from school so we have both just been working. It seems really tedious doing the same thing all day everyday, but in all actuality that is what I do. The same thing every day. Spencer and I are still working for Nuskin, I hate it cause the phones are driving mad, but Spencer doesn't mind it too badly yet. I have been working on phones off and on for 6 years so I have had enough but apparently I am not good enough to get a better job withing the company so I have spread my wings and started to look for another job. I don't know where I want to work but I know I want off the phones as soon as possible.
Spencer and I went to Colorado for a weekend. We took my niece Kaitlynn and that was fun. Too Short, but that was expected. 2 of my sister in laws Kristi and Chrissy are going to have babies within the next six months, along with my best friend Skye. All the babies are going to be girls. I am so happy for all of them, and cannot wait to meet each and every one of those precious babes.

Another day...Not so normal

March 28th 2009, one of the saddest days I have experienced in the last 10 years. The loss of my dear sweet grandmother. She died of Gliosarcoma an aggressive Brain tumor and it was pretty sudden. The funeral was April 2nd 3 days before my 25th birthday. There was something good that came out of the whole experience and that was the time I was able to spend with my cousins. I love them very much and miss the times we used to spend together. They are all so wonderful and I am grateful for their examples.
Since Grandma's death we have helped Grandpa move to her room which is the biggest room in the house, gone through all of her stuff and either given it away or had it claimed by family members. It was so hard to see her being taken from the house but in the long run it helps my dear grandpa cope with his loss and it gives him the space he has long needed. I love my grandparents, they are the only grandparents I have known and I am grateful to have had them and to still have my Grandpa.

A Challenge from my Aunt

So I got an email from my Aunt in New Mexico to take a picture of the inside of my fridge without rearranging it. I am then to post it on my blog, so I did it and it is actually embarassing but fun at the same time. I hope this inspires all of you to do the same thing and join the fun.

Happy New Year

New Years Goals: For 2010
1. Lose 20 Lbs by April
2. Pay off 3 bills entirely
3. Read the Book of Mormon

Now that I have shared my goals with all of you, I will feel a little more motivated to get it all done. I hope that all of you had a great new years and that all is well. It is a hard time in life with the economy so bad and jobs being lost. All we can do is strive to draw nearer to our Lord and Savior and help people who are less fortunate than ourselves. This is a great time to do service and be more Christlike in our actions.

I know that I want to draw nearer to Him and feel as though I have fallen farther away from Him. My hope is that I can take all the right steps to get back on track.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I love and miss you all and hope things are going well for each of you.

What am I to do?

So we moved to Utah to get a new start and we aren't starting anything. After another hard semester for Spencer I am starting to lose hope that we are going to move anywhere. Do I go back to school? Or do I just sit around and wait to see what the future has to hold for me? We are going to try again next semester to see if we make it any farther. Spencer decided to take a different road and that road is music instead of geology. I hope that this is the road for Spencer even though I am not sure what he plans to do with music. He is a great singer, and a good actor, but I think it will be interesting to see where the road ahead leads us.

We are still working at Nuskin and it is great. It is still pretty busy but the fear of losing our jobs is always at the back at my head. I am going to start looking for a night time job soon but fear that it is too late. Places aren't hiring and I am limited since we only have one car and Spencer works nights too. Oh well, I will live life as it comes at me there is nothing else I can do.

I was talking to a couple of women today at work and they disclosed to me some very personal stuff that made me think about life and how good I have it. Yeah we are poor and in debt and aren't able to get pregnant and not close enough to family, but really we are so blessed in many other ways. I would love to live next door to my sister, grandma, sister in law, parents, in laws but I can't. I would love to be able to pay off all the debt I have but can't. Yet that doesn't matter. I have a phone and am able to call all of my family and love e-mailing (when I have time), I cannot pay off my debt all at once, but I have a job and am able to make payments unlike people who have it harder than me. These two women, one dealing with break ins at her home and in her car, and the other dealing with a husband who has kidney stones so large that he needs surgery and it is a risky surgery that could cause him to lose his life or his kidney, her daughter fighting Brain tumors and another daughter trying to keep hearing through the one ear she can hear out of. All of these health problems because of the uranium in the soil in her Ohio town. She spend years growing and canning her own food organically and turns out she was growing in radiated soil.

I realize I have so much to be grateful for: a wonderful religion with great leaders, a loving husband, fabulous family, great friends, and a sweet adorable puppy. Even though I don't have all that I want, I have what the Lord sees fit for me. He knows me and he knows what I am capable of. He will give me what I need as I need it and as He sees fit which is the way it should be "Not my will but yours be done." We should all be grateful for what we have and find happiness in what we are blessed with daily and what is in our lives. I hope you all have a great day and that all is well in your lives.