I walked home, expressionless, emotionless. Or rather, i was too numb
to feel anything. Too many things had happened, many more happening,
much more to come. I felt as if i left an imprint on the ground with
every of my heavy footsteps.

As i went by my primary school, i saw children grinning, smiling, as
they recounted their day in school to their parents. An image surfaced
in my mind, it was of me as a child their age. In this little 'me' i
observed something that i never really remembered doing in the past
year. It was a smile. In fact, it was the widest smile i ever seen
myself with, a smile i can never manage now.

Childhood, i must say, is the greatest part of my life. This was where
the ups of my life existed, and i wonder when the downs im
experiencing now will ever end.

Continuing my journey home, i saw more cheery children. I started to
become jealous of them, if not of my own childhood. My happiness
became non-existent, i wonder how it disappeared. Worn out, perhaps,
but definitely not taken away. I knew i was very much pampered by my
parents, happiness couldn't have been taken away.

I looked into the mirror of the lift. Attempting the smile i used to
make in my childhood, i nearly made myself a laughing stock. The sides
of my mouth simply did not want to turn up. Thankfully i was alone in
the lift. Making a mockery out of myself would make my horizontal
mouth become downturned. Leaving the lift, i saw the gates to home,
and in it i saw angry Dad, naggy Mom. I contemplated whether or not to
go home, but figured that there was nothing else i could do anyway.
Home it was. The walls beside me received a punch or two from my
fists, as my lungs expanded to take in a deep breath. I unlocked the
gate and entered, preparing for a multitude of cannon blasts...

well, this is written on the day i received back the english common test results AND, i failed. oh well. tomorrow's the end of years already. i shall own