i can't believe year 2007 is coming to an end so soon. it's been such a blast, being in SA.

in fact, if i'm given a chance, i would really love to relive my whole SA journey. no matter how disgusting studying and taking NAPFA was. i miss it all. i miss going to school...even potong pasir itself brings back loads of memories. it's only about a month and i really really miss all my friends from SA.

2007 has been a pretty flat year though. not much up and down...i guess with the A levels u're so busy working hard that you get numb to everything around you. It's been a really fufilling year working my ass off, seeing the results, some bad some good, pushing myself to greater limits. It strange how i made more friends towards the end of the year than compared to the front part of my JC journey. The art student domo, arts fac peeps from A4 etc made studying such a fun process that i wouldn't mind doing it all over again ;)

i guess the only thing bad about 2007 was my spiritual walk. there were loads of flats and downs. stagnant and drops. not going for youth service did have a toll on my spiritual walk. guess no accountability and after a while you get complacent about alot of stuff. messed up my church ministry too. sigh.

nonetheless...i shud bring the good stuff along to the new year and keep the past behind. it's time to start brand new, afresh and get things back to where it should be :)

thank you people...for the wonderful memories :)

the 2 retreats that i recently attended-yf leaders retreat and the yeo family retreat have been pretty good. contrary to what i expected.

went to pulai springs in johor for family retreat and it was pretty cool. we went through the family tree thing like we did last year and found out alot of very interesting stuff. like how my grandfather was adopted so the family's surname is actually tan and not yeo. and then because my dad is also adopted my surname is actually quek so in one way or another, i have a very complicated history of surnames - wu/yeo/quek/tan. my extended family is super drama we can write a super long drama seriel. lol.

we went down to some fruit orchard in malaysia where we got a tour of tropical fruits- passionfruit, durian, bualonglong etc. apparently chilli's can grow anti-gravitational. like the sharp end pointing upwards. apparently it shows that it's super spicy. and we also learnt like how to tell which fruit is rich in vitamins etc and how green beans actually come in black long pods. there was a mini zoo there and you can interact with the animals there cos they're all not caged up. haha. the animals are all super friendly. even the caged up rabbits. in singapore they either ignore you or run away from you, but there, they come to you automatically. it's super cute. even the goats there are like that :)

we went on a firefly watching river tour at night after a seafood dinner. it's quite cool cos everything is dark and you are on some ulu river. it really felt like some disney ride. except in real life. there were so many fireflies it really looked as if God had decorated the trees for christmas. shiny shiny blink blink. the fireflies only hang around 2 different trees, namely the pong pong tree and some other tree that the guide didn't know the name. we caught a few in a plastic bag and they're really gentle creatures which live for only 2 weeks and they die quite easily. they look like those flying ants with a cockroach looking body shape, minus the ugly feelers. in light they stop emitting light and they usually come out and shine after it rains.

God was really faithful during the trip and at first it was really hot and then it started raining quite heavily. we were quite afraid of missing out on the fruit orchard but when we reached there the rain stopped. it started raining only after we were done with the tour. it continued pouring even more and we thought we might have to forgo the firefly watching thing but it stopped when we were done with dinner. so we got to see many fireflies because they come out to shine even more after the rain **YIPPEE**

quite an interesting experience and next year, the adults have happily handed over all these event organising to the next generation. sigh. oh wellz. we were thinking of doing charity work. like work with habitat for humanity or smth cos it's a really easy way of getting out of the planning process it's really meaningful and fulfilling :)

2007's ending pretty soon. quite sad that i won't be returning to school. i used to dread school reopening...but i really loved SA and i miss everything about it. sigh. miss the whole bunch of friends-char, rach, mel, yinx, beh and ph..all 7 of us. MISS YOU GUYS LOADS. we need to get out together k!

gonna start work and i need to start working my ass off for my portfolio. organising the stuff, doing stuff for portfolio, the video--storyboarding, filming and editing etc. SIGH...LORD HELP ME.

i hate growing up now....it's all so scary.

portfolio

i finally got down to start on my portfolio yesterday.

was really quite apprehensive and i was wondering whether i was just delusional thinking that i should go into design and in so doing so made my parents delusional that i was a art prodigy =S this sounds really stupid, but i was REALLY scared holding the pencil, not daring to place it on my new sketchbook.

i had to suck in a mouthful of air and for the first time (minus the disneyland drawing session), i used guidelines. as in drawing those circles and stuff that wilkie tan always taught us to but i never followed cos i never saw how it worked and it made my drawing weird anyway. looks like going for disneyland's character drawing workshop helped me quite alot :)

so here's my first portfolio project: cockatoos.

it's not fantastic, but i'm quite proud of it. considering that i haven't touched drawing in like forever. haha. they look more cartoony then real. oh wellz.

US trip 2

finally back in Singapore for the dec holidays...for another 5-6 days before i get whisked off the malaysia for a family retreat **rolls eyes**

on one hand i was getting bored in LA. i didn't like being so confined to everyone's likes and dislikes. i learnt during this trip that the best way for a family, or in any case, any group of people, to maintain relationships together is ironically, to not stay together....for a long time at least. so paradoxical. but yeah. u start to trample on each other nerves and not long after, you'll start tearing at each other's eyeballs...or whatever's left from the previous fights.

i was actually looking forward to coming back to Singapore where i was free to go wherever i wanted, to wake up at whichever time i wanted and to use the toilet for as long as i wanted. for the first time in all my travelling history, i didn't dread coming home. :) ah yes...home sweet home

i guess after 15 years away from US, as you grow older..your expectations increase and all the nice impressions of US that i had when i was young (which stayed with me until now) made US quite a disappointment. the whole big brother thing and stuff...i still love Singapore more...even if that means i'm going to starve due to the availability of job opportunities here as compared to the states. i don';t think i'd be able to survive in US considering that i don't really intend to learn how to drive just to keep my sanity alive. but...i must say...the environment there is awesome...very inspiring to draw and be all arty farty and nature dweller.

sooo....within these 2 weeks that i've been gone, i've been to universal studios, disneyland, california adventure park, sea world, san diego zoo, grand canyon, las vegas, balboa park, la jolla bay etc etc. in summary, las vegas is boring unless u like to marvel at the architecture and the likes, univeral studios, san diego zoo standards have dropped, disneyland isn't as happy as i wanted it to be. i overrated america (and for this my house is going to get bombed. people. remember me and come to my funeral to say nice things about me k!).

for shopping fanatics like my bro, america's the place to go.it's like shopper's heaven/haven...wadever..their factory outlet's are humongomous and they go cheap. seriously. the one i went to had like 130 shops..or was it 100. and they werent small. they were big shops. my family was there from morning till night just shopping. the 4 of us alone spent about 1k. but that's mainly cause my mum spent half that amount on coach bags. i got myself like ...4 levis jeans, 2 tees and 1 pair of long pants. i never really enjoyed shopping till then..but i think it started and ended there. we really shopped till we dropped.

universal studios, san diego zoo and disneyland were a tad bit of a disappointment. all the hoohaa and the expectations din quite meet. disneyland wasn't as happy as i wanted it to be. hong kong disneyland was happier even though it was lousier. oh wellz. san diego zoo has very little animals :( and they all look malnourished. i never knew elephants ate twigs and bears played with cardboard and paper until then. you could barely see much animals and the cages made it hard to capture pictures of them. even the animal shows were boring :( oh wellz. some world famous zoo.... -___-

we took a tour down to las vegas cos my mum didn't want to drive down. it was a rather eventful tour. we had a very small tour group u see and we filled only half the bus. so they decided to consolidate to cut costs, without telling us, lying that the bus broke down at the first stop/bus driver disappeared and they squeezed us all into another tour group. well.. there goes our night tour and we had to figure out how to travel on our own. on the second day, we travelled down to grand canyon (with another tour group) where it was so cold smoke came out when u peed or spoke. but the view was cool....and scary. very scary. i don't quite want to imagine wad will happen if u fall down. saw some snow and a cow and a mountain goat there (i seriously have no idea how the goat got to the cliff..cos it looked stuck there with no where to move. either way...it'd die). took loads of pictures of us "scaling" the tip of grand canyon and the sky walk which is really scary. it's the glass bridge over the grand canyon. so when you look down...you look all the way down. it's really scary!!!

but i think overall the best highlight of the entire trip would be watching the musical "Wicked". IT"S AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! my bro was real lucky to win the Wicked lottery. so, for like 25 bucks we got a 200 US dollar seat which was located first row, right behind the orchestra pit. sitting so upfront meant we could see every nitty gritty detail from the make-up to the texture of the costumes to the actors and actresses faces :) haha. YES...that means admiring some eye candies. sweeettt >.< ok. i'm lazy to update more. hahahaha. if i manage to get some pictures from my bro...i'd post them up..see first....

HELLO PEOPLE...GREETINGS...ALL THE WAY FROM LA :) WHOOPIEEEEEEEEEEE

the plane ride from Singapore to tokyo and then to LA has been a killer. esp for someone with serious motion sickness. I really wanted to drop dead and die then to endure all the horrid feeling :S nonetheless, a plane ride on your birthday is really quite an experience. :)

i was kinda surprised when i was watching high school musical 2 on the plane when all of a sudden this 2 flight stewards stuck out their hands in front of my face. got quite a shock cos i didn't know who they were of what on earth they were trying to do. got me some time to digest what they were saying. Sooo....i was pleasantly surprised with many many many birthday wishes from the crew, some nice dessert in place of a cake from the first class (first class leh) consisting of ice-cream, chocolate pudding, ice cream cake and a bowl of chocolates from the business class...not to mention a personal tour round the plane...except the cock pit thanks to the idiots who stirred up fear from 911. sucks. but still...better than nothing. made friends with the flight stewardess who was my tour guide :) so special

on the transit flight from tokyo to LA, i had another cake from japan. haha. COOLIOS...cheese cake, which i gave up to my brother and the other passengers cos i was so badly motion sicked that i couldn't swallow or stomach anything :( stupid US wouldn't allow food..which is quite dumb..oh well. nonetheless, i was just glad to be back on solid ground. i'm a very jiao3 ta4 shi2 di4 person. ;p

the air here is super fresh..and though the weather is cold (16 deg) it's not as bad as what the pilot said (6 deg..he apologised for the mistake..quite funny. this pilot. very lor sor and very apologetic) love the smell of the fresh air..reminds me of the nice cosiness of US back when we stayed here like what....15 years ago? i love the grocery shops here. the fruits and veg really RADIATE AND SHINE. the colours are like WHOW. beautiful man. and it's soooooooo fresh that even someone like me who don't digest fruit and veges is tempted to pop them all in my mouth cos they all look so yummyyyy..and they actually polish their fruits...soooo nicee :)

kinda suffering abit from jet lag. but oh well...universal studios was kinda abit of a disappointment. it's not as fantastic as it was....15 years ago (haha. that's the only thing i can compare to). we explored every single attraction in the place and i dun think i'm very much impressed by any :( in fact...the grocers impressed me more than universal studios. it rocks going to such place on weekdays cos there's NO QUEUE! yep, no time wasted...which was precisely why we wre able to go for every attraction and watch every show. yuppos. i learnt what cheater bugs hollywood is. visited the sets of movies and series including desperate housewives, jaws, jurrassic park etc. i really don't think they look anything much like what u see in the movies. it's just amazing what technology can do nowadays!

there's loads of food here....alot of asians...alot of chinese stuff....i feel like i'm in a westernised China then in Cheen-erised US. YEP. IT's THAT MANY CHINESE. in fact, the hotel i'm staying in is run by asians...and oh....the receptionist is HAWT stuff :) hahaha. really good awesome eye candy. heehee.

time to sleeeeppp :) ciao!

will be away from 6th to 22nd dec :)

miss me!

Brudders sleepover at the Mariott

this is just a summary. for a more detailed and entertaining version, pls read debby's version on our sleepover. for ur convenience, i have copied and pasted her entry here on my blog. it is right at the bottom of this entry is nice grey italic font. :)

The sleepover we had with the brudders was THE BEST IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. for once, we all felt like RICH kids. man..the feeling was AWESOME.

we can finally heave a sigh of relief in the planning of the birthday surprises. it's no joke accumulating the sept babies birthdays cos of the As. Still.it was nonetheless funny because both parties were organising the other's birthday surprise. (Denise and the rest of us planning su hui's birthday and Su Hui and us planning denise's surprise) Soooo....we used the same lies for both sides and each thought they knew what was going on. Can you imagine the amount of lies and stress i had to face being the sacrificial lamb to be on time and hang out with them while the rest gets the surprises ready???????? i had to deal with alot of cursing and swearing and complaining esp on Denise's side. she is soooo easily irritable man. Nevermind. we still love one another. And there was also Su Hui's surprise for all of us. a total of 3 surprises in 1 day and many more. the whole preparation, getting of gifts, doing our usual 18th birthday frame has been quite hectic cos of the many lies that we had to come up with about technicians at our houses, being in sch, at the dentist, fetching brothers etc. i really think the book of our lives grew alot fatter within this week because of the MASSIVE amount of lying that we did. and if sloth was really a sin..then we prob need a new book by now cos we finished up the old.


Anyway...since both parties thought they were surprising the other, it took them some time to register that we were celebrating BOTH their birthdays. haha. but yes. the surprise was successful and our cake was finally edible in a proper way. the previous attempts were quite weird. we had an agar-agar-ish chocolate cake (even though we used the pre-mix), we had a melting chocolate cake etc. FINALLY...we had some really good brownie cupcakes. nice and gooey and chewy :) YUMz.


life after the A levels never felt like it really was the end..until we all had the experience of THIS sleepover and su hui's surprise. Su Hui's surprise and our sleepover was at Mariott hotel, courtesy of Su Hui's mum who felt that we deserved (or rather su hui) a relaxing stay at a hotel :) after we slogged our asses off for the As :) and we had A POOL TERRACE (something i most prob won't even have a chance of staying even during my honeymoon). we had an escort to bring us to our room, open our door for us, have people come in to check security to make sure everything was A okay, we have an awesome pool to lounge around, a really cool bathroom with a walk-in-wardrobe and automatic blinds (cos the room and the toilet is erm....connected in a very open sense - the first thing we all panicked about was how we were going to use the toilet in private.)

as usual...being all so similar in our entertainment habits, we bummed around...movies, food, bed, movies food, bed repeat. we had a really cool dinner cos we went to cold storage and bought food. not like we were going to cook. we bought sushi, sashimi, a family roast/peppered chicken (the WHOLE chicken) and instant soup. YUMMZ...a picnic in our hotel room on our carpet. and we watched 3 different very nice movies. no reservations, evan almighty and the last show...i can't remember the title..but it was the best out of the 3. really interesting and cool show. and after being sick of food and movies we went lounging at the pool side and cam whored while novita slept...as usual.

we went out along orchard road in the middle of the morning...lke 3 plus in the morn to take photos of the christmas deco and lighting (which was dumb..cos everything is off at that time). for once. orchard road was nice and peaceful and no flyer distributers like the one who actually followed and pestered each and every single one of us for about 50m. but of course...walking in dark and deserted orchard road has it's price too. i never felt so unsafe in singapore before. we had weird people stalking us for some distance, trying to hit on us and stuff. quite annoying. and we weren't even wearing sexy clothes but PJs. sigh. we held on to our valuables for life and huddled together for safety and comfort whenever danger was lurking. i never knew singapore to be such a dangerous place until then. it was a great relief to finally be back at the hotel where we were safe and sound. and thus i slept at like 5 plus :S and i am still sufferig from the effects of err..lack of sleep.

ANYWAY..i'm too lazy to blog in detail cos debby has already done an awesome job. so just go read her blog entry here:

this post is just to help me remember what happened on friday & saturday cos its really worth remembering. haha. so its going to be a boring one cos for those who were involved, you would know it already, and for those who were not... it just might not make sense. haha.

the whole thing started when suhui mysteriously told us to keep the 30th free because she has a 'surprise' for us. apparently it was going to be a sleepover, and since it was a great chance for all 7 of us to get together, the rest of us had a brilliant idea to use this time to FINALLY give suhui her 2-month-late bday celebration. and we wanted it to be a surprise. and then, suhui and i also thought that it would also be a great chance to give denise her 2-month-late bday celebration, since their bdays were quite close. and we also wanted it to be a surprise.
so it was a day of 3 surprises in total, all for different people. and the 5 of us who were left to plan surprises for 2 different people, were thinking 'CRAP HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS'. it was difficult cos we had to include denise in planning suhui's surprise, and include suhui in planning denise's one. and so began our lives of hiding and secret phone calls and smses, and many, many lies.

we had to wait for everyone's papers to be over, as well as for the go-out-everyday-and-slack! rush that everyone has right after their papers. so on monday, 26th nov, 4 of us (den, glor, am & me) went to shop for suhui's presents. luckily we managed to find it pretty quickly, and the rest of the time was spent thinking of sneaky plans to surprise suhui. we finally came up with the plan of going to novita's house on thurs, the day after she came back from taiwan, to do suhui's bday frame, and doing the cake on friday morning, and then having me and novita come 'late' with said items to wherever the rest of us were and SURPRISE suhui.
that was fine and dandy, but what abt denise then? so after that, i smsed and called the rest for some ideas and that night, the very night that novita came back from taiwan (haha so sorry we never gave you any time to rest =P) i called her to think of more sneeaky ideas. after she got over the shock of me saying 'OH BTW WE'RE ALL GOING TO YOUR HOUSE TMR', and some discussion, we decided that since there was only thursday left before the day of the 'surprise sleepover' on friday, we had no choice but to do denise's frame in the morning, and then suhui's frame in the afternoon.

THURSDAY WAS A FUNNY DAY. HAHAHA. the rest weren't free in the morning so it was up to me and novita to do up the design & decor (sounds so pro, woohoo) while leaving space for the rest to write their messages. we did it pretty quickly and soon CLARISSA arrived. she wrote her message, and the rest of the time was just slacking and waiting. by 4+ pm, we were getting tense cos anne marie was late and denise was due to come at any moment, which would be disastrous since we were doing her frame. in our desperation, novita told denise to come later and later with the excuse that there was a technician at her house. and then, the doorbell. we didnt know if it was denise or am, so we panicked a bit and novita went 'OK IF I CLOSE THE DOOR SUDDENLY YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!' (and then me) 'WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO??' (and then clarissa) 'HIDE THE FRAME!!!!!' so we found a good hiding place under the bed and then, lo and behold, it was... ANNE MARIE.

insert sigh of relief here. we unhid the frame and am started writing her message. more slacking and waiting by the rest of us. hahaha. and then, while am was halfway through her message, gloria called! she was opposite the building. came the frenzy of 'QUICK COME COME BEFORE DENISE GETS HERE!!' (ok fine, that was only me). and then, gloria called again, said she was at the lift lobby, and then added oh-so-casually but very hintingly 'BTW, DENISE IS WITH ME..' (tension in the room) so we quickly hid the frame and prepared suhui's one and TRIED to pretend that we only just got there, too.

denise and glory came in, and denise unexpectedly went 'WALAU! CHEAT ME!' insert confusion here.

denise: DIDNT KNOW U ALL WERE UP HERE ALREADY!!

me: (automatically) oh but we only just got here also...

denise: (confused) really? then how come i didnt see you? i was downstairs since 4.45...

Stunned silence. can see everyone's heads going HOW HOW HOW OMG OMG.

glory: (quickly) OH must be novita's BACK DOOR right ahahahaa...

the rest: oh yea back door ahahaha haha... *shifty eyes*

oh and forgot to mention, before denise came we were smsing and she asked me to go west mall with her so i had to say that i had a dental appointment. a long and painful one. and later on the bus ride home i had to reinforce it a bit but thankfully she believed it. but ANYWAY that little STUNNED SILENCE was the only bit where we almost gave the surprise away, i think, and everything else went pretty smoothly.

except that we had to change the plans a bit, because we couldnt let suhui come that day since she would only complicate matters (haha sorry, but its true) so novita had to meet her on friday morning. also, glory came with denise so she had no chance to write denise's message, so she also had to meet novita earlier the next day.. so novita would have to carry denise's frame. but she couldn't have suhui's one. so anne marie had to bring it back instead. and i had to explain the new plan to denise by saying that novita couldnt 'come late' with me and carry out the surprise cos she was REALLY going to be late cos she had to go to school.
we managed to finish suhui's frame so that was a no problemo. we went home thinking of the frantic but very exciting day that lies in store...

FRIDAY WAS A HILARIOUS DAY. well the first part wasnt that amusing to me, cos i had to go back and forth to 3 places in the first half of the day alone (not to mention i walked from the bus stop to the main gate 4 TIMES unnecessarily wtheck) and that sucked, but oh well. anyway. i met denise in cold storage to get the brownie cake mix and icing sugar. denise already had a cake box for suhui. no time to get another cake box for denise, so i had to ask am...

the plan for the day was that denise and i would have a quick lunch, start the cake, and then denise would have to leave to meet suhui and the rest at suhui's planned meeting time of 3pm for her own surprise. as in, the original surprise that she wanted to give us, not the one we were planning for her. while denise thought that i would continue the cake alone, in fact am and novita would come after that and we would come 'late' together to do the surprise.
while we were at my house and waiting for the cupbrownies (that is, brownie mix baked in cupcake shapes) to bake, we had to improvise more plans on our own a bit, had to keep telling glory and clarissa to keep shopping with denise & suhui FAR FAR AWAY from the place of the surprise, which turned out to be MARRIOTT HOTEL. (insert gasp here). in fact it was a continuous improvisation on our part and i must say that if there is a nobel prize for carrying out surprises, we deserve to win it for sure.

there was a slight problem here: i had to tell suhui that i was going to be late cos i had to take my bro to his piano exam (which was partly true, since i did in the morning) and create the impression that i wasnt in the surprise plan and i was just coming alone. BUT novita had told suhui that she was coming to my house with anne marie to bake denise's cake. but thankfully we had a chance to explain the discrepancy later on.

once the cakes were ready, we packed everything (i had to quickly pack my personal things for the sleepover) and we went off to cold storage to get a lighter. novita made me go back halfway through cos i forgot to bring DVDs. =( anyway, after that we got into a taxi and we were off to orchard.

SECOND problem here: while we were in the taxi, novita kept in contact with clarissa to know how the situation was like. at one time novita was calling clarissa, and then a call came in. she naturally thought it was from clarissa, and didnt check the name, and started talking as if it was her... 'yea we got a LOT of things' etc etc plus me and am talking in the background. and then she realised she wasnt talking to clarissa, she was talking to SUHUI!!! sudden panic to try to remember what we said and worrying if she would suspect anything... (but in the end, she didnt. thank goodness. turned out we didnt really say anything revealing, PHEW)

the next part of the plan was for clarissa to go back to the hotel room and meet us ('OH NO I HAVE TO GET MY CREDIT CARD!') so that we could set up the cakes, frames, surprise, etc in the room. to make it more convincing, clarissa (very cleverly) hinted to suhui that she was in fact getting the cake for denise, and hinted to denise that she was in fact getting the cake for suhui. i duno how she managed it but thank goodness she did. meanwhile, suhui had told novita to call her when she arrived at marriott, although obviously we didnt say anything yet until we planned what to happen next.

the taxi arrived in front of marriott, and we met clarissa at the hotel lobby. we experienced our surprise for ourselves when we went up and saw that suhui's surprise for us was a STAY AT A POOL TERRACE. INSERT MANY WOWS AND GASPS AT THE BEAUTIFUL POOL AND NOT TO MENTION THE GORGEOUS HOTEL ROOM WITH A BATHROOM AS HUGE AS THE BEDROOM ITSELF. (sorry had to emphasise that cos it was really very nice.) the bathroom was actually opened to the bedroom, and novita went 'HOW ARE WE GOING TO BATHE???' and then we discovered AUTOMATIC BLINDS. oh my goodness. that was coolios.

ok so we had our own little surprise and then it was time to set up everything, and plan HOW TO GET DENISE, GLORIA AND SUHUI TO COME BACK TO THE ROOM?? (btw here i must say we felt VERY VERY SORRY for gloria who we left alone to deal with the 2 bday people, and in her own words later, 'denise's cursing'. we applaud you glory.) we thought for a while, during which suhui called clarissa (omg omg omg... and then we decided to pretend to ignore the call) and suhui smsed novita asking if i was with her and am. here we managed to rectify an earlier prob and novita explained that i 'left halfway to take her brother to piano exam' and so i wasnt with them.

and that inspired the next, and final, part of the plan. i had to go down to the hotel lobby, and call suhui, saying that i had found out from novita that i had to go to marriott hotel, and from there get the 3 of them to fetch me and bring me to the room/surprise (when in fact i was really bringing them to the room and the surprise... ach too confusing). BUT THINGS DID NOT WORK OUT AS PLANNED. the next part will be told in play-style.

(in my call to suhui)

me: hey suhui, novita told me that i had to go to marriott so im here.. so... what now?

suhui: ok, where are you now?

me: outside the hotel.

suhui: OK, i'll come and get you.

me: eh, is the rest with y---call ends.

I don't care if im exaggerating but at this point, i felt that DISASTER HAD STRUCK. because we couldnt possibly do the surprise if denise and glory didnt come along, too!
thought of different ways to make it still work and then decided the only way was to call denise too, and tell her that we were doing suhui's surprise, so that they would catch up with suhui.

(in my call to denise)me: hey denise, are you with suhui?

denise: no, she left to go find you!

me: (WHAT???!!) ok no no you & glory have to go with her! we're doing her surprise NOW!

denise: (obviously pissed) WHAT?? why you guys-- ok-- insert some flurry of conversation which i cant remember now, and then the call ends.

i waited in tension, hoping the plan would still work, and then suddenly, i saw denise and glory RUNNING towards marriott. i waved to them.

me: where's suhui? (cos i thought they would catch up to her, not run ahead of her...)

denise: we were sitting at coffee bean and she left to go find you! we had to go ahead of her..etc etc etc.

denise rushed us to the hotel lobby, with me saying in vain 'MAYBE we should wait for suhui'... at the lift lobby, it was the scariest not only because denise was being very pissed and scary (sorry but its true, and i really felt for gloria at that time) but also because if we went up without suhui, that would spoil the surprise and everyone else would be pissed at me. so to try to escape everyone's wrath, i had to think quickly...

denise: we have to go up now!

me: what about suhui??

denise: she cant meet US, she thinks we are still at coffee bean!!

me: (thinking) (thought of doing SIGN LANGUAGE to glory but it was futile since she looked just as confused) ...erm then what? we go up and she would be alone?

denise: NO, YOU go and meet her! we go up!

me: (thinking: OH NO SHIT THAT MAKES MUCH MORE SENSE BUT I CANT LET DENISE GO UP FIRST) (playing dumb while trying to delay time) eh...what?

denise: SHE cant see US cos she thinks we are at coffee bean... (explains the situation, from her POV)

me: (still acting dumb while praying for suhui to PLEASE COME SOON) ..but wait shouldnt we wait for suhui?(after a short while)

denise: (very very pissed) AIYAH NVM JUST GO AND MEET HER!! GO!!

me: but--

and at this point, i have to say that what happened next is just... GODSENT. so thank you God, because if what happened next did not happen i might have been killed by denise simply out of anger, or by the rest for spoiling all our hardwork (and plans, and lies..) anyway, what happened next was that I TURNED AROUND AND SUHUI WAS THERE.

waved to her to make sure it was too late for denise to escape/hide. short moment of confusion where suhui said 'eh? how come the 2 of you..?' i tried to distract her by saying 'oh yea i met them here...' then talking about other things. ('whats the surprise? WAIT... are we staying in the hotel???') have to add in at this part that i had to keep reminding myself that i wasnt supposed to know about the hotel surprise and had to act shocked. anyway i was too scared to talk to the very-pissed denise because she thought that i had spoiled the plan for suhui. sigh. felt so misunderstood. =( HAHA.

so suhui brought us to the pool terrace (with me remembering just a little too late to WOW and GASP at the pool) and came the moment of truth...

when suhui opened the door what followed was just an ABSOLUTE FRENZY of 'SURPRISE!!!' and the birthday song and denise being LAGGY (hahaha) and realising only after a while that the surprise was FOR HER, TOO (later on she said she wondered for a while why there were TWO frames??) and blowing of candles and looking at the frames and EXPLANATIONS of everything that had happened (after keeping secrets for so long it felt very good to let it all out) and me collapsing on the floor (brain exhaustion!!) and reading the messages on the frame and opening of presents...... had only one thing in my mind, which was, 'IT WORKED.'

the rest of the hotel stay can only be described as a pleasant feeling of relaxation (except when we were walking on orchard road at 4+ am, and we met a number of suspicious people) .. just EATING AND BUMMING AROUND (both activities which really sum up our lives as brudders) and taking photos... it was really nice, i enjoyed myself. i got to try bathing in a bath tub, and i have to say that it is OVERRATED. its not really that relaxing and i prefer a shower still. plus, i dont understand HOW people can be clean by bathing in a tub, cos after i did i just felt dirtier than before...

all in all, it was a great sleepover and am thankful for each and everyone of my brudders.. and also God, cos i think without Him things wouldnt have worked out at all.

btw, if you think things sounded confusing when you read this entry (congrats for reaching the end btw! unless you cheated and skipped) it is really nothing compared to trying to WRITE it and certainly not at all comparable to all the confusion that we experienced... cos i think during the whole process NOT ONE OF US had a clear bird's eye view of EVERYTHING that was going on.. and if there HAD been someone taping everything, it would make a very entertaining reality tv show. HAHA.

- i told u...very detailed...but entertaining piece. i agree. we really SHOULD make a series on our lives.

**WHEEZEE**SNIFF**HACK**SNIFF**BREATHES DEEPLY**

i've been ATTACKED by the stupid evil virus with 8 single stranded, negative RNA virus, ie. the influenza virus. in normal everyday terms...the flu. BOOOOOOOOOOO. i feel like shit. (no actually i don't...because i think shit is very much more brown that i already am and more mushy that my fats). RAHHHHHHH. i better recover before my LA trip and the SFC farewell. BOO...

for now....i shal try to...enjoy my sickness to the best of my abilities by running around singapore with the flu bug..being a biological warfare weapon just to see what they'd do to such terrorists. hopefully...i might get DHL-ed or Fed-Ex-ed to timbaktu just to get me as far away from all living organisms on this earth just so i won't start some different strain of bird flu or perhaps..monkay flu. not quite a bad idea actually if you want to get a free holiday. ;p cheapo singaporeans **SCOFF**

anyway.. on a side note...went to church to do some admin stuffies and what nots today. i was wondering how on earth i was going to get into the locked office when i saw a door bell. so i happily went to press it and waited for the door to open...only to get a shock to hear someone speakng from the intercom. so obviously..being caught off guard.....i kinda stood stunned outside not knowing what to say. did alot of brainless jobs today. i reckon if all else (really all else) fails...i'd just go be some factory worker. we packed goodie bags, folded Jesus Mini mags, slotted welcome packs, double sided taped them, tied ribbons, wrapped CDs, eat wonderful pork chop rice (YUM) and many more. i never felt so productive in my entire life (perhaps until i shit out some baby after i get married) andddddddd i settled my internship stuff which lo and behold..i'm getting more and more excited about. hahaha. what was apprehension has turned into excitement and hopefully passion :) haha. YAYZ.

back to terrorizing Singapore..by practicing and honing my skills on my not so minute family. HO HO HO :) and who said that all they wanted for christmas was their 2 front teeth when they needed stronger antibodies more? :)

at the rate that teachers and people are leaving SA....there won't be anyone else except the building to visit next time :(

sobz. but i guess this is how God works. it just goes to show how all these people aren't in my life by coincidence. all of them have came, impacted, made a difference, did what they were meant to do - guide, teach, mentor, befriend, care, love etc. and now that we've graduated, their job is done and God sends them packing elsewhere. it's been this way my whole life. most of the time....the people that are my mentors get packed AWAY from me. be it a different church, ministry, school and even country. i think i am cursed. why can't i ever stay with all my loved ones?????????????????????????????????????? sigh. i can't help but say i send my blessings cos i mean HEY...they have to move on in life even if i don't want to.

just previously i was complaining that i have nothing to do. now as i look at my calendar in my phone, i realise with horror how many appointments and events i have that practically every date is in bold (ie. an event). this is wad happens when u are a famous person like me. HAHAHAHA. come on people. get a queue number if u want to meet up with me!

kidding. just msg me to arrange if u want to go out and chill out and have mighty good fun/food. :)

i'm starting to get a taste of the after As life...and i realised how much i over-rated it. :( i think i overestimated it and i have to admit.....i'm BORED. -__________________-'''

i can't believe i just said that. BUT IT'S **GASP** TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't want to watch tv anymore despite having so many shows to watch cos....i numbed my ass.

i tried to clear my rubbish out of the room...as much as i tried...i didn't clear much becos there's so many stuff that i realised i can't clear just cos i might need it in the future :S

i want to go out.....like go horse riding or go to the zoo...

i need to start on my portfolio soon. dearie me.

i have a very good mind to complete my ten year series becos i'm bored and don't want to waste my money by throwing them away.

i'm so bored i'm facebooking more than i should.

i'm so bored i've become too lazy to move from my laptop just to pee and eat and sleep.....and that's another reason to add to the "why i'm getting fat" list below the "preparation for the As". i'm getting so fat i'm embarassed by my own body...and i no longer refer to my body as a body but a piece of pork lard....no....a soggy piece of lard. OH MY...it's terrible. i need to go exercise before i start melting and spilling out of my clothes :S

YAYS! i'm almost done with the As.

Really thankful for this journey no matter how tiring it has been. It's been an exciting and fast 2 years being in SA. i still don't feel as though i've graduated. but then i don't think my love for SA will end. short 2 years...but nonetheless...theres great pride in being a Saint.

God has taught me quite some stuff being in SA. He made me realise what it meant to do things in His strength, what it meant to really try and put in my best and still enjoy it, to know that everything is held in His hands. Wouldn't have been able to get through the whole A level journey if He had not bless me with wundarful people. Classmates, fellow bros and sis in Christ in SFC, teachers, etc. it's quite sad how we only started talking and making new friends at the end of the year. but then again....everything has been planned out to be this way i supposed.

i've shifted study buddies time and time again, and i have been blessed by God to have so many many wonderful friends each season of my life. For the last lap of the race of the A levels, i was very lucky to have my OG mate jocelin (funny how we only talked at the start and end of our SA journey), Anthea, Grace, Vincent. Mark. John Chew, Domo and also to make new friends like hui kee, eugene, steffi, stacy, xiao ting, jeannette etc from anthea's class. Sooo...here's a pseudo arts fac student monkeying around with the arts fac people. It's been a mightily fine time studying with them. the joy that they bring, the long walk out for dinner, the wonderful celebratory Pasta Mania order in. Thanks for making the whole A level journey painless and even enjoyable. Of course not to mention our dear Muslim stall auntie who's the sweetest thing ever for often giving us Milo and coffee as sustenance throughout the night, often being the only stall around that bothers opening so all we hardworking students can slog our asses off. ah yes. and my friendly security guard uncle who so nicely opens up to the school everyday of the week so we can study. all we study gang people, rain or shine, monday to sunday. :) what would i do without them????????????????????????????????? so yeps. God provides and whatever my results are....well....whatever will be will be.

Yep. i think i'm quite blessed to find fellow art people who intend to take the same course as me in uni (if we all make it..that is). Domo, Grace and I are gonna stage our very own version of Antony and Cleopatra. All you lit and non lit students, if you read the lit text in a different tone it's really hilarious. and that is precisely wad grace, domo and i will set out to do. watch how Grace flirts and show off her curves as she performs as Cleopatra. HAHA. CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!

8 more days....and counting down...HO HO HO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GeePee is over and hopefully i dun ever need to see if ever again.

It's in your court now God. Hypnotise the marker pls.

i'm so unproductive that even IVF can't help me in my production. BAH. i mean.i spend like more than 12 hrs in school but my slower than snail pace in studying/working isn't quite helping me. OH DEARIE ME. i need 10000 hours a day and study till i drop dead and eyeballs pop out and bounce around me to mock me so i would give them a break and stop trying to read between every single letter in the question to find the secretly hidden answers.

i'm being very unhealthy nowadays. i drink coffee, teh-bing, not water. i eat loads of cup noodles that my stomach and body is rejecting food. so my stomach is hungry, but i just have no appetite. i honestly thing i'm screwing up my body. i eat, sit, study, sleep, repeat. stuff my body with so much wax from the cup noodles that by the time i finish my A levels, you might be able to get a life-sized gloria wax statue for the madame tussaud's museum...that is if they even needed my statue.

ah...just a little while more. meanwhile...enjoy the love from the muslim store aunty :)

i;m such a bummer

i feel that i'm working less as compared to what i used to for prelims. BAH. oh the horrors. and i'm not even prepared for the mock exams. let alone the actual As. THIS IS TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh dearie me. i'm slacking so much. facebook, blog surfing, neopets. ah yes. the bane of all slacking activities. neopets. who says it's outdated? even though facebook is kinda on the "hip" list right now as neopets used to be...it still can't beat neopets on the time consuming and fun scale.

i made my younger bro pack his stuff to make way for his new secondary school stuff cos he's super free and bored. but even that useless bugger can't even clean up properly. i know we use only 10% of our brains...but i beg to differ for his case. lol. i'm such an EVIL sister. Looking at him pack is quite frustrating and the kaypohness within me was dying to do the packing and clearing for him. at least my room has less clutter now. i can't wait for my turn!!!

i think i've reached the state of heck-careness for the As. all the past exams and stuff as kinda numbed me to the thing thong thang of exams and grades. kinda sick and tired of my notes and stuff. but i dun think it really accurately reflects how much i've studied. HO HUM MY BUM...blarh. i'm officially screwed and only a miracle can save me.

on one hand i can't wait for haloween to arrive cos that marks the day i can start counting down to the ending of the papers and the start of my freedom. but on the other hand. i'm quite scared becos of the unpreparedness for the As. OH DEAR..lit, chem, maths and bio. DEARIE Me. not to forget there's GEEPEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. SOBZ.

oh bummer.

oh ya. i realised that coffee really helps me to sit down and study properly....for a few hours at least. once i start getting fidgety it's quite hard to study. but it's still better than nothing. when i get fidgety i feel like i;m going to get fits soon because that's how fidgety i feel. i'm wondering if one day halfway through my exams i'll start having fits from the adrenalin rush released by the coffee and the stress of the papers. at least then i;ll have an excuse for not doing well.

studying in the study room at the clubhouse has made me find out more about my neighbours. the management is dumb to set the KTV room in between the 2 study rooms and the worse thing is...it's not sound proof. hence...while studying, i get a free session of familiarising myself with songs like "tong hua", "lao shu ai da mi", jj lin songs "mu nai yi", "yi qian nian yi hou" and "dou jiang you tiao". chinese songs are really quite nice and once the As are over i shall be the one to irritate the study room users. LOL. i believe it saves more moolah than k box. seriously, my neighbours cant sing for nuts and the repeated songs they sing within one session just goes to show how little songs they know. there's this cannot sing guy who goes to the KTV at least once every week cos every saturday he's there hogging the room, singing the same ole songs. the worst part is he can't exactly reach the high notes. so imagine how much i cringe in my seat as i study. i honestly doubt that the goosebumps i get ain't from the cold aircon but rather from his singing.

hmm..slight more than a month to freedom :)

first heard about this quote or rather saw this quote on jon's blog. it was too cheem beyong my understanding. then during assembly today, i had another encounter with it all thanks to some spelling bee show. cool stuff. then again. up till now i still dun understand it.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

then again, that's probably because i stand on the other side where i see more inadequacy then the possibility of even being great. everyone's sending their applications to overseas universities. all those prestigious ones, getting projected results and stuff. i on the other hand.....don't even stand a chance to get into our local unis. maybe not even long kang uni.

sigh. i completed my chem syllabus and when mrs loi threw a POP quiz. chemistry became CHEEM-MYSTERY. i just felt so BAH.

what am i created to be good for? where is my greatness? i dunno. i really am unsure of how my future will be like.

sigh.

Today's chapel was the only good thing that happened today i reckon. our very last chapel. time flies so fast :( still, our rehearsal, the time spent together praying for one another, sharing. it really reminded me of how important accountability is in our Christian faith. we can never stand alone. on one hand while i know i'm not alone in all these troubles, somehow i have completely no idea how i'm going to get through it. thank you wan lin for reminding me to trust in God once again. thank you kevin for choosing this song for chapel and thank you wan lin for helping me to sing the song from my heart, enabling me to sing and worship during our last chapel.

When troubles come i'll trust in You

For i know You will lead me through

and I know You're faithful till the end

and when the storms are drawing near

when i'm with You i don't have to fear

You're my shepherd on whom I can depend

Through the day, through the night

I know You're always by my side

Lord You are ALWAYS here with me

there is no changing God in thee

You are the same yesterday, and today, and forevermore

Here on Your promises i stand,

You hold my future in Your hand

My solid rock, almighty God,

I worship You.

Dear God. pls help me to really trust in You. Give me the wisdom to understand my work, the perseverance to press on despite adversity and trials. Bring me through like You always do.

the school is really pretty at night.

plus, it takes on a whole new life.

lizards mating, mouse scampering, lizards and crickets chirping etc etc

school at night is pretty, calm, and it looks really nice in the long kang's reflection. sometimes u see a shaky picture of the school in the water because the wind is blowing. sometimes it's a nice pretty mirror becos the water is so calm

the night air is fresh

the school is quiet and peaceful

it's super nice to study there

minus the guard whom i can predict what he's gonna say "only way out is the side gate. becos i have to patrol the school. principal tell me to lock the main gate. i cannot go toilet. sit there stupidly waiting for your parents to come. i don't care. side gate open till 9" and there off he goes rambling off in the distance and i just gawk at his disappearing silhouette....

i love SA at night even better :)

i'm really thankful to God for giving me so many friends and brothers and sisters in Christ to encourage me during such a time. thanks for hearing me whine and directing me to God instead.
Thank you Lord for always being so gracious to me even though i'm such an asshole and seldom grateful for all you've done.

i can do it!!!!!!!!!

funny how i felt God had been so silent and all of a sudden verses of encouragement and hope just start raining down on me. man...God...you really do have a weird sense of humour. ;p

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. ... ... Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."
-James 1:2-12

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. "
-1 peter 5:10

i'm in JC. i was brought here, i was brought this far, what's a little more??

Faith, perseverance and hope. my fuel for the As.

i'm crushed by my results. grinded to powder.

i don't know. it's prelims already and despite working my ass off...what do i get??? i'm getting below 50 percent for goodness sake. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!? i wish i could culture brain cells or smth. it seems so unfair. why are other people so smart? why am i like stuck in the middle of nowhere? if i was created to be stupid why can't i be FULLY stupid? at least i'd have the excuse of failing.

i don't know...i kinda expected such lousy results after the papers, but it still hurts deeply. feels like all hopes of even making it anywhere is dashed. even laselle's degrees and certs are lost, the ministry intends to stop the degree programs at laselle. WHERE DO YOU INTEND TO SEND ME GOD?!?!??! DO YOU WANT ME TO BE A RUBBISH COLLECTER???? IS THIS WHY YOU ALLOW ME TO FIND DELIGHT IN DOING MUNDANE TASKS?!??!?! WHERE IS YOUR COMFORT????

it's hard being a christian in a christian school. it's harder being a christian in SFC in school, it's even harder being an exco SFC member in school. but it's hardest when your friends and teachers around you think you are running the race for God strong. esp when they are non-christians. i find myself going through the routine, giving model answers when i myself am skeptical of what i'm saying. i wish i could lash out and scream at the airy fairy answers. i wish i could just not care about the whole Shine for Christ and belt out vulgarities to release my frustrations. yet, i know...i'm going to regret it if i ever did it.

i'm having so many different voices in my head. there's the weak "give up" taunt, the bully in my head that's just mocking me for the hope i placed in God, convincing me that He is merely a figment of my imagination, "just give up..you'll never make it" voice. and then there's the other camp of "remember God's promises, remember how He has brought you through all the other examinations" voice, there's the "be strong! you can't give up. you've already come this far" and there's also the " you can do it, i know you can" voice, "STAND UP AND HAVE A BACKBONE. THIS IS YOUR LIFE. NO ONE IS GOING TO PITY YOU EVEN IF YOU FAIL". each voice is taking turns and it's driving me insane. i can't barely hear my thoughts or differentiate which is my own voiceand which are merely figments of my imagination or influences from tv series. ARGHZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

i'm jealous of the people who help me so often in my studies. Angry at the very fact that they complain about insecurities, not having studied, prediction of bad results....but yet they come back with As, being among the top of the class. WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT?!??!?! it's come to a point where words of encouragement from them no longer stands. where you can't help but be skeptical because you know at the end of the day they'll still score better than you.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHZZZZZZ.
SHOOOOT ME SOMEBODY.

i'm almost done with my prelims....but i already know i'm going to do badly...if not worse than my block tests. OH DEARIE MEEEEEE....

why???

because i went mad mugging bio during the sept hols and once bio was over on monday...i felt like this deflated balloon: trampled and stamped on...left to shrivel and melt on the hot roads of singapore.

haha. ok..it's not that bad...apart from really emptying my brain of all that i knew of....my automated "overwriting"system in my brain kinda killed my other subjects.

to put things simply.....i died-ed for other subjects. hahaha

now how am i going to make it to uni??????

no wonder they call it a FAITH journey

anyway...this deflated BALLOON can't get her engine started again....there seems to be a whole some where...all the knowledge and info is kinda leaking out...OH DEAR..MUST PATCH IT UPPPPPPPPP!!!!

jia you glory.....

ON A HAPPIER NOTE...

MY NOTES AND TEN-YEAR SERIES, TEXTBOOKS, PRACTICE PAPERS ETC ARE DOWN FOR SALE ONCE THE PAPER FOR THAT SUBJECT IS OVER. HURRY ASK ME IF YOU WANT TO BUY!!!!!

National Junior Robotics Competition (NJRC)
ah yes. brings back loads of wonderful memories. from Oasis(NJRC) to Oasis(FLL) to Ignition (NJRC) and i can't remember our FLL team name. sigh...those were the days.

it's sad how so many things in the competition has changed. the very thing that made NJRC in itself fun and memorable was the whole journal making...and yet...it's all gone. SAD. i sincerely and honestly believe it's because they are afraid of how much further IJ can push in the journal arena. We went from small lttle cupboard like structures to huge life size journals of islands, castle, london phone booth etc. the mad rush to finish the booklets, to get it out of the ever jamming brother printer to the mad binding of the booklets. the lack of sleep, the countless amount of coke we drank, the dust we probaby accumulated in our lungs from staying in the arc room..........arc definitely defined my life in IJ. those were the days....

it's sad how time flies and all of a sudden all the people left in the CCA are strangers. all that you knew are graduating and soon...all that remains is just the teacher :( the arc room isn;t familiar at all. the last time we worked in the arc room was in the old run down campus where mould used to grow on anything it could lay its spores on. the countless cleaning up till we decided to just chuck the whole load of rubbish under a table and use banners as table cloths to cover it all up. hahahaha. yes..yet it seems that all that is left of what we've done are our memories. i went back to ij today only to find out that journals...the very essence of our time in NJRC, the product of our sweat and blood, tears and laughter......to be gone :'(

i guess...they dun even need an archive for it anymore since in the first place....journal award is no longer there. SAD. returning back to IJ to wish the juniors all the best brought back alot of memories and even stirred up this passion in me to want to go back and re-do all we did for NJRC. no doubt those were very tiring, stressful periods....but still...i really treasure them. if it wasn't for ARC, i wouldn't have been able to enter SA, wouldn't get to know my fellow brudders, wouldn;t be able to have so many wonderful memories. the adrenaline rush from working as a team, looking out for judges on booth day, the excitement of the competition....OOOHHHH...oh yea baby yea!!!!!!!!! those were the days.

still....life has to go on....i wish i could be inspiring and spur the juniors on, to teach them and guide them along the NJRC journey so that they could bring back a million memories to keep as they grow old and wrinkly in their wooden rocking chair, to know without a doubt, about the wonders of ARC.

GO ARC!!!!!!!!!!!!

glory just came back from a short while of retail therapy and glory is happy :)

glory is happy becaused she manage 9 hrs of study today in school and covered quite a no. of stuff :)

glory is happy because she retailed therapy at the supermarket where there are no annoying salesgirl who stare at you as though you are going to steal their things. and then there was also the happy buying nice food that makes YOU happy in the future. YAY.

glory decided to treat herself to some sushi to release her stressed and dead-ed mind. and glory was very HAIR-PEE to imagine all the wonderful yum-mums that she can stock her hostel room with.....ooooohhhhhhhhh......zoo land biscuits, digestives, soups, post cereals, honey stars...yada yada....OOOOOHHHHH...haha. thinking about it just makes me excited!!!!

yayayayayayyayayayayyayayayayayayayayayyayayayaa...haha. retail therapyyyyyyyyy :)

**glory beams very very widely**

!@#$%!@#$%

rah. glory is angry at herself because she is sooooooo unproductive. stupid glory.

i've been burying myself in school work and studies i'm becoming anti-social. seriously. but i suppose i really need to be disciplined and continue studying even when no one else is able to. it's really very tempting to just follow all of them home when the 5.30pm alarm in school rings.

still, it's been rather discouraging for me during the first half of the prelims. SIGH. i dunno. after all the training we've received from ms lye and the practices and what nots, i felt a ray of hope that maybe this time, i could do well in my GP. i dunno. but after the paper, i felt demoralised, disheartened, discouraged, depressed whatnots. i dunno. i was quite disappointed la. and then there was bio paper 3 and lit on the same day. after going through the notes multiple times and drilling myself for the essay questions, i was quite disappointed to find myself not able to recall some stuff and not understanding what the question is asking :( chem was a huge disappointment. i was glad that i managed to finish the entire syllabus early since i started early. but little did i expect myself to forget all that i've studied such that i can't even remember the formula for Ksp. what an idiot. i couldn't remember the organic stuff etc. i chose the wrong questions to do and i ended up having loads of blanks in my paper. all that practicing and starting early seemed to do more harm than good. sigh. and then there was maths. quite disappointed with that one also. i almost completed the entire pure maths tys portion and then....BLARH...shucks. now i need double the work to fix my grades. SIGH.

things are seriously not looking up for me :(
even my spiritual walk hasn;t been looking up.
it's dumb. so dumb i dun even know where to start.
or perhaps everything has just been a part of my imagination......

just maybe....

i've been pretty much carried away by the preparation of the exams that i was so tempted to just reject all appointments with friends because i was so afraid of the time that i'd waste away.

Yesterday's meeting with the brudders to celebrate Clarissa's birthday made me realise how selfish i was at wanting to put myself first above my brudders...and of course other friends. After all, i 've been missing out on so many of our gatherings because of my many commitments. we finally managed to have a proper gathering and take a complete photo.

it's scary how time flies and everytime we gather to do up our photo collage for one of our birthdays, many memories come flooding back and we can;'t help but laugh at our sec 2 pictures and what nots...even if we've been seeing the exact same photos for every birthday. haha. when it comes to mine i'll have the latest and most updated ones. YAY. haha. isn't it cool to gather together and look back at the old times and stare at wonder of how cute/ugly/stupid we look in the past. i think it would be quite fun to continue doing so when we're all old and wrinkly and going blind to sit down and re-look at our pictures like we used to.

i really want to thank my brudders for always wanting to continue keeping in touch. i realised during yesterday's long bus ride to denise's hse of how unsociable i am. while i cherish my friendships, i don't quite bother to make the effort to make it last. i've seen countless of my friendships just fade off into the background and then finally disappear. even with my SFC mates. after not meeting up for quite some time, no longer studying with them and stuff, it seems like i've just drifted from them and i'm afraid to confess but i barely have anything to say to them. it's like all of a sudden we're back to square one and there's nothing to talk about.

God has blessed me with many wonderful friends, but i'm afraid that like life, it will all just pass by. moving on with life and not getting stuck in the past. will i continue to still remain friends with my 6 other brudders as well as my other 6 close friends in class???

i don't know. it's sad to think of losing them though. i mean...we already miss each other when we're absent from school. sigh........**emo music plays in the background...**

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studies wise...things hasn;t been very good. even my goldfish memory isn't retaining much of what i've studied and i feel the least bit of confidence for my exams. God give me the faith i need to pull through, to trust and rely on You and not in my own strength.

it's just abit more glory!

MY GOD IS BIG...
MY GOD NEVER SLEEPS!
HE KNOWS OUR THOUGHTS
HE KNOWS OUR STRUGGLES.....















AND HE COMES AND RESCUE US :)

yeeps. just when i was getting all worried about my work and stuff, fretting about how i'm going to screw up my results...God comes and saves the day...when i least expected it.

while i was studying at the study room this afternoon, just when i looked up, i caught sight of this eagle flying in the sky. i used "fly" instead of "soar" because it simply wasn't soaring as eagles usually should. in fact....it was errrr...i don't know what word to describe it. haha. it was kinda errr..trying to soar but it was such a pathetic attempt. HAHAHA. i don't know. it kinda reminded me of myself. struggling and stuff to keep afloat...to keep everything going well so i could soar above everything else. still...the fact that i caught the eagle in such an unglam moment reminded me that while God helps us to soar above our problems, we do hit the rocks at some point in our life but once it's over...we can return to soar in the skies majestically again :)

and then...during QT, God surprised me even more! he gave me Matthew 11: 28-30

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30

and through it and in other ways as well, He reassured me of how we'll go through this tough A level journey together :) He didn't tell me about not worrying because He provides for all our needs, or how i should be working hard to glorify Him or whatever people tell you when you tell them that you're stressed and stuff. He knew me well enough to reassure me with the knowledge that not only will He bring me through this, He'll also be walking by my side, at my pace and help me when i'm tired and burdened.

my God's so sweet rightttttt???????

He superbly rocks :)

15 more days to prelim and thus, exam stress piles on and i'm freaking out.

shucks. i'm feeling superbly demoralised now that i dun wish to do anything related to school...apart from what i'll do after i get out of it.

i thought i was studying pretty fine and i was kinda happy with how i was doing until the teachers happily piled up the different schools' papers for us to do...not having studied finish i spent most of my time wasted looking up my notes for the answers. but that's not all... i realised what a horrible memory i have. all that i studied i couldn't remember and i struggled through the trail papers. esp. chem. it didn't help that my chem is already so badddd....shucks....

i'm screwed. YIKES. only a miracle can save me.

Dear God....

my GeePee belongs to the toilet bowl for it's shittiness

my Bio has somehow or another been attacked by viruses and bacteria and is currently returning back to dust

my chem has errr...remained sort of non-existent. Oh God..gimme some chemistry with that stupid subject...grrrr

and my maths....errr...ok...so i can integrate my formulas and differente them all.....but....oh Lord...why stats???????? stats of Gloria understanding stats is negative...which i dun think exists in Stats....aiyyyeeeeeee

dear Lord. the one who hears His children cry out in anguish. the one who never sleeps and slumbers. HEAR MY CRY AND SAVE ME FROM THE DEPTHS OF ACADEMIC FAILURE!!!!

all this i pray in Jesus' name.

AMEN.

anyway....i saw this picture online and it reminded me of my new half ang-moh neighbours in my condo. haha

no kidding....they really have hair like that. haha

oh. and my latest new neighbour hails from land of the rising sun....JAPAN...i shall go over and make friends so that i can get free sushi. :)

YIPPPPPPS

kk hospital

before i blog about my near hospital stay today, i just WANTED to blog this down.

last night, just as i was sufferring from the side effects of lao sai-ing, i saw a silhouette of my elder bro dancing from the after effects of orientation. funnily, against the bright toilet light, he looked strangely familiar. ok ok. he looked like a dinosaur dancing. more specifically....a t-rex. it was realy amusing. and now, just as i'm reading this out to annoy him..he is burying his face into the cushions and continuing his photowhoring with my HANDPHONE. sooooo...if you people are interested to meet my dear weird "sister" do tell me and i will show you some really "pretty" and "cute" pictures of him her in my phone. :)

ok. back to my episode. haha.

sooo...after lao-sai-ing for like ......eh......10 times in one night? i was BADLY dehydrated. but drinking water just made me feel like puking. ah wellz. i spent so much time shitting that i managed to finish the entire 200 plus paged fox-trot comic book that i borrowed from the libary. THANK GOD FOR FOX-TROT for making my lao-sai-ing episode less of a pain.

i thought i could survive the night..besides..it's just lao-sai-ing. the only pain involved was the soreness of my asshole. but halfway tru the night my stomach was like wringing itself i wanted to perform hara kiri. urgh. i couldn't take it anymore and i finally puked everything out. you could seriously smell the acid from my stomach. yak...

so my mum tried to find a 24hr clinic around my hse and lo and behold...despite having like at least 4 clinics just around my hse...none of them was 24 hrs and so we travelled all the way down to kk hospital. i'm embarassed to say that my mum couldn't decide whether or not i was supposed to go to the children's department or the women's department but whatever it is...i still got sent to the children's department.

haha. apart from a lil embarassment....it was such a WONDERFUL experience. man...those nice cartoons all the wall would make any sick person feel loads better :) my doctor was this nice PRETTY and SWEET young lady who made me feel so nice and loved and she took all the pain away **BEAMS** (i'm so inspired to be a pediatrician now) haha. it feels awesome to be spoilt in a hospital. even the nurse was great. apparently they wanted to put me down for observation since i've been losing so much body fluids from all that lao-sai-ing and vomiting so i dun die from dehydration. they gave me some medicine that had to go somewhere else other than your mouth..which i dun exactly want to go there. (and because of that i am totally convinced that i do NOT want to be a nurse) and made me waiiiitttt for an hour for the medicine to take effect before i was fed glucose solution....black current flavoured..YUMMMMM...tasted exactly like your 10 cent popsicles. :)

so i was spoilt sick at the hospital and now i'm perfectly normal. and i'm VERY THANKFUL that i dun get disgusting medicine. for one..i have really yummy medicine that i don't have to torture myself swallowing pills because they are all liquid form :) whoooot. my medicine includes my yummy popiscle-like glucose solutions to replenish my body fluids :) YEEPS YEEPS :))))))

i'm actually thankful to God for this entire thing cos the period of sufferring was really short and now i feel so loved by all my classmates- ebeh, peehui, mel, yinxi, charlene, rach as well as my fellow SFC peeps eunice and anthea. mann....it's during such times when you realise how loved you areeee...so touched :) thankewsssssssss

soo...should i be a pediatrician??? hahaha. oh wellzzzzzzzzz. me fickle minded womennnnn..blarh

time flies really fast. the prelims timetable is already out and i realised with a shock of horror of how close i am to the prelims and the BIG As. oh dearies. anyway, ever since the syllabus is coming to an end and all is left is quite boring and dry topics (minus bio), the grp of us mad mouses have decided to make our lessons more interesting. today was some fun day :)

during bio, i realised that it was quite an evangelistic lecture. HAHA. i'm saying that because the topic that we're going through now is evolution. ironically, all the bio lecturers are Christian. soooo...you see...the whole thing about creation vs evolution...though it's not in our syllabus our notes still have stuff that refutes the evolutionists theory and has bible references about creation and a link to http://www.answersingenesis.org/ haha. cool eh????????????

anyway, since we were so bored, ebeh, peehwee and myself were going mad and laughing at dumb stuff in the documentary that we were watching. it was on stuff on microbiology and evolution and the different ancestral links. we were laughing at how come the sunflower and dog were somehow linked on the same branch of the ancestral line, the weirdo diver guy who is mad about bacteria, the anti-climatic music, the emo/dramatic transitions in a dumb bio film etc. haha. ohh.. fun. and of course, since some of us sneaky peakys didn't do our chem tutorial...we came up with this plan to stall time so that mrs loi won't be able to reach transition metals today. HAHAHA. the plan was to frown and ask as many questions as we can. hahaha. of course...since mrs loi is worried about my chem results, naturally i'm the "CHOSEN ONE" to frown and look confused. HAHAHA but of course 3/4 through the lesson we realised all that we did was wasted cos she didn't even complete the previous tutorial on Grp 7 elements on time and even dragged for about 10-15 min. BAH. nonetheless...it was such a fun time doing it. HAHAHAHA.

okays...to make me feel positive about the upcoming exams...i shall state the stuff that i want to do after the As...
1. rachel, ebeh and i have decided that we will work together to complete a 1000 piece puzzle for each one of us. haha. that makes 3000 pieces.
2. sell my books and notes (WHOOOOOOOOOT!! burn recycle them!!!)
3. ehh....go with mel and charlene and ebeh to the SPCA/ASD to volunteer
4. tidy up my room
5. WATCH DVDs/MOVIES
6. Sleepovers
7. do up my portfolio
8. go overseas to shop. hahah (makeover)
9. download games to play and make me comp so full with them that it lags (haha no. i don't want me comp to laggggg)
... and many more (ok la. i can't think of anything else) hahahahahhaha

back to studying..... :)

go glory goooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i had such an awesome sleep last night. slept so well my dad and bro thought i went into some coma. HAHAHA. quite cool. but it felt soooooooooooooooo goooooooooooooodddddddddd. got me in a superbly lazy mood the entire day and i just din want to do anything. yayz. and it's all thanks to the OCIP selection camp.

thanks to the camp i had to..once again..miss the phototaking plus fun fellowship time with my fellow SFC mates after step up/down. i keep seeing the scene of the ceremony and me at one side just watching the entire scene run before my eyes. such a pain to see it all and still not be part of it :( sigh. anyway...i had to shake all those sad feelings away and focus on being strict for the camp. ah wellz. thank God all went well and i was one of the VERY lucky few who managed to catch a wink while the rest had to leave for night trek. heehee. so the new batch of j1s are rather soft. i'm not talking about how they feel like when you prod at them. well...we had like 80 + participants at the start and broke camp with like...eh...50+ peeps. cool eh. i don't remember my batch just disappearing like flies dropping dead. oh wellz. all the takaning was all so familiar and i recall myself being so annoyed at it all the year before. even after being part of the comm executing the takaning...i still hate it and i find most of the activities though specially designed to bring out the worse in us..i still hated how it was all carried out. i know most of us shouted at them for the sake of doing so and it was all crap. i couldn't help but feel pity for them, and at the same time, feel their annoyance at us seniors. oh wells.

anyway, it felt good to return to my old self during the station games with no one else except the group leaders being there to judge if i was too strict or soft (though seriously i dun think we cared). soo..i scolded them accordingly to how annoying stupid they were at ignoring our advice and stuff. through my game i got to know some of their names and spot potential talents cos my acitivity really forced them to lead. haha. every single individual. so honestly, apart from the very tedious repetitions, i really did have some fun cos i felt that at least what i did was meaningful. :) yayz. got to see some of the j1s attitude which annoyed me to really scream at them for being such idiots and air heads. sigh..seriously man. to these guys...communication meant just shouting at one another instructions...with no one listening..well done. ah wellz. this camp kinda brought me out of a lil bit of my comfort zone since i was made to debrief them (though i didn't originally intend to since i didn't have to). anyway...the cafe is clean again. though i seriously doubt it'll be for long as we saints are all known to be such messy eaters along with our fellow feathered friends who leave their shit all over the place. ah haz. so i was all totally tired out and ready to rest once i got home :)

sooo.....the new uni term is starting soon and it's cool to see all the new freshies writing on their blogs about how excited/scared/nervous they are. while reading about all that is fun, the best seats in the house of course belong at home where i have an up close view of it all of my brother. hahaha. so funnn... he's spraying all his t-shirts and stuff with cologne to attract girlssss get rid of the musty cupboard smells. yeps yeps. so exciting..new life, new start etc.

i can't wait for my turn for uni (if i can make it there first)...cool and fun hostel life like the one in hana kimi, no more holiday homework etc. but...i dun like the idea of making new friends all over again, the stupid crappy orientations where u have to act all enthu even among strangers, get worried and frenzy over what people think of you etc. i dunno la...the future is such a scary thing and if i continued to think about it i think i will go MAD. seriously. so many things to worry about. how to get a job, clothes to wear, getting into a relationship. ahh..it's all so SCARYYYY. ho ho.

i can't bear to part with my badge. in a matter of less than a day...i dunno..it sorta marks the end of my CCA life. and i just had to end it so abruptly due to the OCIP selection camp. It was the same last year...i can't believe the same is happening all over again...the celebratory dinner, the last time we spend together...it sucks horribly man. :(

the end of jc life..sigh.

it's scary. the resumes to write, the future to worry about, getting a job etc. it's really scaring. during the recent 2 day learning fest in SA, i realised during my resume writing course how worthless everything that we're doing and have done. how everything really doesn't count in end. it really makes you think why you're fighting so hard to be the best when at the end of the day...you're still just a mediocre individual is this dog eat dog world. sad truth eh?

i realised with great sadness that very much of my life and identity is measured by my achievements and what others think about me. the realisation of how all that ive done came to nothing was a great discouragement and in some way...

As a christian...the model answer would be that i am contented with what i have, confident in my identity. but i supposed as time passed and i'm caught up in the world, i confess that i've lost my first love. As i try as i might to find it back, i can't seem to do so. That's when it becomes even more demoralising because although you know the solution to your problem...you just can't get it :( you put on a smile, act as if everything is alright and just let the day pass you by quickly.

enough of emo stuffs. i picked up photog and guitar during my learning fest and i really enjoyed learning guitar..though i'm one of the slowest pock heads in the class who can't even strum accordingly haha. and of course.. both my left and right brain are somehow disconnected because i can never continue strumming as i search for the next chord to press. haha. nonetheless...i enjoyed it and i look forward to the day when i'll be confident and comfortable with the guitar :)

reminiscing

i'm officially an old fart.

i can't believe time has passed so quickly and it's time for us J2s to step down :( on one hand i'm eager to do so because i know i need all the time in the world to study and catch up on my studies. YET...i can't bear to leave SFC :( my brothers and sisters in Christ. the ones who encouraged me and gave me the hope to trust and hope in God everytime i was down and out and in doubt. the ones who made me feel accepted and loved even without doing anything, the people whom i knew i didn't have to be anything else but myself to be accepted and be friends with. the times of fellowship, the many times they endured my nonsense and lameness, the times of laughter, movie and dinner dates, study sessions etc. you guys shared both joy and woes (mostly joys than tears and pain though). Thank you to all of you, who made my time in SAJC such a worthwhile and complete experience. i really really don't know what else to say.

As i re-read my journals to re-cap about what i've learnt during my time in SA and in SFC, i realised the many amazingly wonderful things that God has done in my life during this short yet most memorable time of my life. Indeed, i've seen how God has brought me through the O levels, the miserable and lonely times during orientation, the joy of growing closer to Him, the wonderful classmates and SFC mates, the seemingly impossible promotional exams to get promoted, getting through each and every exam and miraculously making it through every single one. i'm amazed at how abundantly God has blessed me with. Thank you God.

it's scary how time is passing so quickly, with prelims just around the corner. i don't know how, with my current results, i am ever going to make it to the uni. by faith i supposed. it's the only thing that'll help me on. alongside with friends and hardwork of course.

If God has brought you to it, He will bring you through it :) i'll trust in You.

Jubilee the dog

since ezra is not doing Jubilee any honour by refusing to put up photos of him on his blog...i shall help. He's a real frisky lil golden retriever pup who is as lazy as his owner. haha. it's ok if u still smell like SPCA and u stole my sandals to chew on it. u're still so nice and huggable and shake pawable.

everyone....meet JUBILEE the golden retriever :)



so cute rightttttt...mel, ezra and i gave him a bath...so now my hands smell like a dog. haha. he's quite manja if he's lazy. just sit down on the floor next to him and sayang him and next thing u know, he's drooling and slobbering all over your leg as he rests his head on our lap. haha.

there u go char...for pang seying me and making me such a BRIGHT light bulb. u missed meeting cute jubilee (which is seriously a stupid name for a dog. plus..it sounds more girl than guy. stupid ezra....)

BT2 and emoing

woohooo...BT2's coming to an end...and i have 6 days of HOLIDAY....haha. ok la. including saturday and sunday. all thanks to being able to finish exams earlier than the rest of the school. heh.

i think i'm really quite screwed up this time. i'm sick and tired of studying...its ironic, because i barely studied. and i know i'm going to get squashed and stared at by you-know-who. i think it's sad that when you start improving or when you keep doing consistently well (this is so not my problem), the teachers really place quite alot of pressure, most of the time unknowingly of course. all of a sudden there are so much expectations to meet up to and at the end of the day, you start wondering who on earth are you really studying for?

it's very easy to give the model Christian answer and say "Let's not study for anyone else but for the glory of God. AMEN???". i don't know. everything Christian just seems so pretentious nowadays. perhaps it's the frustration from all the exam stress and frustration at my stupidity and slowness of thinking and understanding. i've been pretty much falling away from God and the horror is...i don't seem to really bother. i know it's very wrong of me to be doing all these, ranting and stuff. In what ways are my actions glorifying God???? i don't know. just the other day when i was emoing... thanks to chemistry or was it maths...and it just suddenly occured to me what my purpose in life was. True, Christianity speaks of the great commission etc. but to me...it doesn't really mean anything. i don't mean or intend to just fall away or leave God cos i know it's a really stupid thing to do. Yet, i want something real and tangible. i miss the close times i used to share with Him. i really don't know where all that passion and stuff have gone and i've just been so...ungodly.

i wish to talk to someone about all these problems, but i don't know who to go. for those whom i trust, i love too much to hurt. i've experienced it once and i don't want the same thing to happen. after all these while it was still so difficult to meet up with her because things just felt so awkward. i wish i could be truthful with lim. i know that he's really serious about being right with God and all that and in one way, i don't dare to tell him what is going on. and on the other, i know that because he really cares, i don't want to hurt him and make him worry about me either.

ok....enough emo-ing la. let me tell you about my wonderful journey of BTs. i'm really quite amused at myself.

Maths - my brain is too complicated for it's own good. i took the normal expansion of BINOMIAL theorem and i went to do MACLAURIN's EXPANSION instead...for 2 mark!!! argh...this is what happens when you practise alot of the weaker topics. blah. to think i was so pleased with myself at that point of time thinking i'm so CREVER. and then. there were some weird question which i've never seen in my entire life. apart from the familiar yet unfamiliar looking greek mathematical symbols and algebra and what nots...i couldn't tell what on earth which topic the question was touching on. some weird inequalities and yet not inequality-kind-of-question.

Bio. - it was really quite hilarious,considering that i studied everything else except human genome project. and guess what came out for the one and only compulosry essay question???? YEP....HUMAN GENOME PROJECT....16 marks......no more..hahaha. i think it was quite funny how some people took the question on stem cells literally when it said smth like "ILLUSTRATE the normal functions of stem cells in an organism." and really DREW the stem cells. HAHHAA, farneh.

chemistry - WOOO...i tell u. i am PROUD of myself for this exam. for the FIRST time. i didn't have spare time!!! ok. this may sound bad..but for those who know my history of doing chem papers, i USUALLY have about 1 hr plus to spare. HAHAHAHA. so i'm really quite proud to say that i really tried to do the paper. the only say and frustrating part was MCQ. we had 1 hr to do the 40 questions, at the half an hour mark...i was only at question 8. to put into context how bad i was, let me tell you, people were at question 18 and they were already freaking out. so yeah...from question 8 onwards i kept freaking out so i didn't bother to think/analyse the questions and just randomly shaded according to what looked nice. hahaha. anyway...for all the questions, my answer didn't match with any of the 4 options for MCQ...OH WELL....

haha..i really feel quite happy thinking about the silliness of this whole Block test. hahahhaa.