Read the previous post first...

For some reason blogger didn't like to post my novel of a birth story.
If you want to read it start below and come back after.

So I got back in the tub and the midwives hurried to get prepared. I had been so calm and quiet, other than singing along to my music, that the birth moment came as a surprise to us all.
I didn't feel completely open and relaxed so I continued to hold her head for a couple minutes. Once I felt completely retracted I delivered baby Fiona out and up to my chest.

That moment was one of the most awe filled and natural moments I have had as a mother. It felt exactly like what I should do, there was no second guessing or wondering. It was perfect and beautiful! Fiona gave us some good cries, we finished out the labor process, and cut her chord then we all went to the bed to try and nurse.

She didn't nurse much at all but we got to be skin-to-skin for an hour. Then she got weighed and measured. I got a shower. Then the midwives left. And we got to go back to sleep.

 Fiona slept for 6 hours! During that time the kids woke up. It was so right, to have them just come in to see baby sister. No separation from the situation really. Just waking up one morning and have baby here in the home and family. My parents came and got the kids. They enjoyed a day with grandparents and cousins! And Mommy, Daddy and baby girl got to recover from the four hour blessed interruption to our night.

Looking back at it now, I just love the contrast to how it would've been in a hospital. Mostly the fact that so much time was able to be kept ours- we didn't have to essentially waste 8-12 hours in a hospital. And I got to labor exactly how I wanted and birth exactly how I felt I needed to. There was practically zero stress. There were no interfering hands or words, no suggestions...just confidence in me and my body to do what I had prepared to do. And do it beautifully if I may say so myself. Yes I am a bit smug.

I'm so grateful to have had this experience. So grateful for the joy I find in pregnancy, labor and birth. The majority of my experiences have been overwhelmingly positive and enjoyable. I'm so grateful to be able to welcome my children here with such wonderful anticipation. It truly does bring me joy.

Another beautiful experience from early days of Fiona's life, was having my sweet Aunt come do massage and cranialsacral therapy for Fiona. Watching her hands work and seeing Fiona so completely relaxed and happy was a perfect moment of peace. We definitely needed that time as nursing Fiona was not an easy road to navigate. Lots of hair pin turns and pot holes in that journey. But we came through it. Again, thanks to my Aunt.
Not everything goes smoothly : )

Hello again!

I've been thinking about posting for a while. I'm almost positive no one looks on here anymore but there were a couple of things I wanted to share virtually but not on a Facebook type site...

For one, 

I saw a post about the hours of in school + hours of homework for stressed high schoolers, and it noted that outside of school teens need time to socialize, for correct development. This made me laugh- whenever people have concerns about homeschooling it's Always First about socializing. But this post, that all the comments agreed socializing needed to happen OUTSIDE of school, was commonly accepted and normal. 

So socializing doesn't happen in school, it should happen outside of school...So my kids "socializing" outside of school is in fact normal

but not commonly accepted- ugh
I honestly don't know why homeschooling still gets a bad wrap, it's the way the elite have always been educated- they brought their education to them, tutors and individual interests pursued...sounds like the best should be good enough for everyone.

I guess what people are really concerned about is socialization for my kids, that they should conform to group mentality, but I don't want them to. They are individuals and I want them to think for themselves about how to act. And hopefully I'll guide them in correct/considerate/contributing to society ways.

We live in a Bizarre society!

And two,

Now you know I'm a crazy hippie Mom

 who homeschools , I also like to bake homemade bread for my family rather than buy it, I tend toward a vegan diet- definitely staying away from dairy, and I'm gonna broaden your horizons and make  you aware of even more weirdness....

Chad and I welcomed our fourth child into our family two months ago... that in of itself is becoming extreme to the more of society. But what's even more exciting is Her birth was a homebirth!

 N o w I hadn't ever considered homebirth for myself until about 34 weeks along with this baby. Though all my deliveries have been unmedicated, our experience with our first birth had shown us how Necessary hospitals can be. But my pregnancies and births following were so low risk and uncomplicated that when I heard about my friends experience I was considering homebirth too.

My friend Kristen had had a baby two months before I heard about her homebirth. When she told me her story and how amazing her experience was, I couldn't help but want that for myself, and I started seeing it as a real possibilty for the first time. I'd had cousins and aunts have multiple homebirths but I'd never thought of it as an option for me. Once that changed I was pretty much set on it. I gave Chad veto power but he agreed that if we covered all our obvious concerns then we could do it!

So the hunt for midwives ensued. I have a favorite doula who I have complete confidence in, and an Absolutely divine Aunt who, among her many talents, is a lactation consultant and she's studying to become an infant message therapist with cranialsacral therapy training as well- they were my go-to resources to find a top notch midwife. I googled a few as well. But of course I found the perfect midwife on their recommendations, and plans were made by the time I was 36 weeks.

Now I was prepared to labor unmedicated again. I had done hypnobirthing class and had a goal or vision for how I wanted this birth experience to feel and proceed. My previous births I had vocalized( low decibel and pitch, thank you very much) but this time I wanted a quiet even more peaceful birth. I made a playlist of relaxing songs that I practiced with. I had my big exercise ball to rotate on during contractions. Chad is a wonderful labor support. He so willingly does what I ask.  We have a huge tub, so we planned to fill that for labor , though my heart w asn't set on a waterbirth , I liked having the option.

My labor didn't start until the early morning of my birthday. I was 40 weeks 2 days. Just before 1AM I rolled over uncomfortable and as I tried to adjust, realized I was feeling not just uncomfortable, but labor contractions. I tracked my contractions and they were 5 minutes apart. We thought I might deliver quickly, so after half an hour I texted our midwife. After another half hour and no response to my text, I woke up Chad and let him know I was calling the midwife. After the call we woke up a little more. I got out of bed and we turned on some low lights. I started rotating on my ball, and we just settled in. The midwives( ours brought another along for help) arrived 45 minutes later and started  an iv  for group B strep antibiotics(really our only concern). The midwives checked on baby and my heart rates initially , then checked baby,'sheartrate about every half hour. We started the iv  in bed and finished in the bathroom where wee took it out and I hopped in the tub Chad had filled. The tub was perfect! I was in and out about five times. At the risk of being too graphic, I void a lot during labor, so up and down to the lu happens frequently. We guess that i  did the in and out routine 5 timess, with some intense contractions. I was bracing my legs against the tub during them. Then needed to hop outagain and while above the basin my water broke and simultaneously baby girls head fully descended. I caught her to stop her exit and got back in the tub while the midwives came in.

Still here : )

Today I got to reconnect with a high school friend I probably haven't seen since we graduated. And we mentioned our blogs and how we've abandoned them.
So while I was thinking about it, I thought I'd look mine up again and while I did I felt like posting!!! I hope that makes someone excited ; )

... Since I last wrote we added V( baby girl turns 1 next week) to our family!
And Chad started working as a real estate agent!

I am loving this holiday season! Most of all I enjoy spending time with family, but I love the music, the goodies, the anticipation, the giving hearts, bundling up and turning on the fireplace ( not our own, our parents have nice fireplaces but ours is ventless and stinky, bleh), drinking chocolate,
and lately I am relishing the way my kids love this time of year!
Watching them sing carols and making goodies with them, it all just fills my heart! Today we made homemade marshmallow creme and it was phenomenal and ruined our lunch appetite! We made fudge with it and are going to make cookies from the egg yolks leftover!
Right now Chad's out gift shopping and visiting with the kiddos so I have a minute to dawdle on the computer. I enjoyed catching up with those of you that update your blogs- sorry I'm not good at updating here! While I'm here I wanted to wish all our dear friends a Merry Christmas, may you feel the Saviors love this season. And happy holidays! I hope you all enjoy them!

Happy!

It's been a while since I've experienced a day and then felt like, "hey I should post about this on my blog!" So since today was one of such days I decided I better follow through with it!

Happy Valentines! Usually at our house, we don't make a big deal out of valentines, not much hooplah or pizzaz. Today on the other hand was extraordinary! 

I dont know, as I describe it, if you all will feel the same way, but really its not about how you feel about it. It made me happy!

Let me start  with a bit more background. So a few weeks ago, my Mom and sisters and I decided to make valentines dinner for our hubbies.  We'd been getting together, discussing and decorating for Valentines since the end of January. We got the menu all agreed upon and found great deals on yummy goodness to share with our beloveds. We planned to meet the morning of Valentines to do prep work and gather ingredients, so that the evening of Valentines all we'd need to do was cook it up and enjoy. Really, Mom got it all together and then sent us home to make it; thank you- you truly are the most wonderful mother!

Then this past Monday, Chad told me that (though he'd planned it to be a surprise) he had taken the day off for Valentines! The surprise part kinda fell through when all the things he wanted to schedule with me didn't pan out, and then I was making plans of my own not knowing he'd be home to spend time with. So with this new knowledge we adjusted plans with my Mom, I would get all our dinner fixings the night before and then I could spend the day with Chad. 

Also on Monday, as Chad was looking at the weeks weather, and seeing the large amounts of snow forcasted, he voiced a wish to go skiing. Now, I'm not much of a skier. It's probably been 10 years, judging by the dust on my  skis, since I've touched a slope, but I thought, "hey what a good idea, I'd much rather go do something fun together- 

that I  know he'll enjoy, then try and think up a romantic something." 

So we planned out our Valentines Day. And it was fabulous!

Last night the prep work got all done, including some cleaning around the house, so we didn't have much to hassle us today. We got the kids in order and packed all our ski gear up. Chad's parents were so wonderful and willing to watch the kids for the afternoon, while we hit the slopes. We spent a few hours at their home before skiing. It's always so nice to visit them and Chad and I just enjoyed hanging out and relaxing a bit. Then off to the resort!

We had a beautiful drive up the canyon, just a bit of rain near the top. Then we parked and got all our gear on. We went and got our tickets and then as we tried to put on our skis, I found that my bindings had been moved like 3 inches back too far! Nothing like having a man who's quick to fix-it, Chad found a screw driver and what, for a second seemed to me a deal breaker, became a good joke from our skiing experience. 

Now I have to admit that I was fairly comfortable in my skis... it was my boots that were an issue. I probably complained a time or two about how tight they were, but I survived. I took a few tumbles but Chad gave me good advice and after fixing my form I could manage a lot easier. We took 3 runs down the slopes and they were so fun! I loved the exhilaration of the speed, the biting wind and snow, the chance to regroup and relax on the chair lifts, being somewhere having fun with my love!

We didn't ski side by side or have a constant conversation going on, but we knew the whole time that we were each having a great time! I felt such a joy in knowing that Chad was doing something he enjoyed and I got to be there watching him and participating with him! I had so much fun, I did have my issues but overall it was such a positive, marriage strengthening time that I cant begrudge the troubles.

Dinner was so fun too! Chad helped me cook it up and though we made messes and... some smoke : ) 

it was so yummy and so enjoyable! The desserts my Mom made, are still making my mouth water! 

Goodness, I just feel so contented and happy with this day! With our life! 

and you know what I think made the difference for me this year, more than ever before? I wanted today to be about Chad and our marriage. Not about me, or how he shows his love for me, I wanted him to feel the love! And you know what, I felt it too!

 Just as our leaders and prophets tell us, love is selfless, 

and when it is sefless, its true! I'm learning a bit about that truth. I have a lot more to learn but today was a fabulous example for me of how I can change my perspective and attitude about love, and how doing so blesses me.

I hope you all felt loved today!

i made these chocolate strawberry hearts for Chad

us on the slopes!

Happy Valentine's Day!