boo yah!!!

woah. been a pretty long haul. sighs. I HATE this skin though it is pretty cool but it is irritating me.ALOT! so i will be blogging as soon as i finish creating mine. so haha. gotta wait. though nothing exciting has been happening. not really. hmmm..though that could be left open for interpretation ;)

BUT anyway,watch "without a paddle" with a guy for insane fun :)

ciao !

temporary insanity

this is just a temporary blogskin while I design mine. This looks good but there is just so many things wrong with it, that it just irks me. I'm not a perfectionist but hell its irritating
then again
I don't care.
I truly think, that I dun really care. I'm just so tired. sooooooo tired.
foo :P

don't worry :) i'm fine
and I'm not a schizo

untitled

Well, it has been eons sinceI posted. I have so much to say but sometimes, its so hard to post whatever I feel. And I don't want to post whatever I'm feeling/happening anyway. so yup yup.

hmm. will post later. i think. haaha. see ya.

I'm not dying or anything. just frazzled

me.je.ich.εγώ.mim.я.yo.moi

Pick your birth month and cross out what doesn't apply to you.


SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful.cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned anddetailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports,leisure and traveling.Hardly shows emotions.Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

freakily true.

i have ONE nerve and you are getting on it

do NOT for fucking god's sakes, tell me I can't do whatever cuz I'm a fucking girl.

we're only just waiting to make our get away

sooo its finally over but the funny thing is, that there's no sudden sense of euphoria or overwhelming relief. Perhaps, because the end of A's, for me, herald not the end of a organised student life but rather the beginning of a new world, where I am an adult, preparing to take responsibility. 21 is now not that far away.

crap. talk about jumping from the frying pan into the fire. well, i didn't jump but got thrown.
but still.

Also because we've done everything that used to signify freedom, good food and movies, a tad too many times. Boredom and routine has taken over.

Kinda scared. I'm not ready to be responsible. The 6 mths that is looming ahead is begging to be filled with so many things but I'm just too lazy to start. Starting means, acceptance and I don't think I want to accept reality for a bit yet. I think , much of this idea comes from being the youngest in teh family so everything happens to me later than all my cousins and I've seen it happen and maybe the inevitability that is ineveitable, I want to postpone just a bit longer. wow talk about complex sentence which I'm sure is wrong.

push back reality a bit.

ok lazy to type now. heh
latest news
1. bro's back in town. promise of more fun
2. grandma too. don't think that much fun
3. officially prediction for my A grades is BBC. don't want it but I don't think I'll get a AAB (which is my minimum)
4. NEED to go prom shopping and girly shopping
5. NEED to make a list
6. NEED to create schedule beyond the next 3 weeks which is like slack, party, laze, exist
7. All my close frens think that I will have pre marital sex. wtf?!?!
8. urk. i need new frens. haha.
9. School of Seduction is not what you think it is, like the many single old men who peppered the cinema who assumed so, it does not have sex scenes neither does it reek of B-grade porn movies.
10. Don't think I'll get the sph scholarship.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and remember bryan adam - we're only waiting to make out waiting to make
and remember grass is greener on the either side because it has more manure.
like when ur 13 and thought being 18 rocked and when ur here,its kind alike when ur 13 but with less giggling and more seriousness. blah

freaky

i was reading through my old posts when I realised that my age referrals do not go

when I was 14,
when I was 16,
when I was a zillion negative
(hey that would be probably be a previous of a previous of a previous birth)

but rather

when I was in pri6
when I was in sec2
when I was in sec4

*~x~x~x*

this country has sucked my soul.
:(

*sing to the tune of a circus show tune*

and they said : -

Slam a thunka bunka munka shoo bee dee whop dee do
don't forget to slam the door when u step ur toe
swish oo roo to squishuititu sapdee dum dee da
don't forget to break the damn window of ur car

because :-

the world's a stinker and you're a kinker
dum dee dum dee da
just to let you know that ur a minker fa dee da
so don't let the world know ur just a heavy drinker

The housefly which has no one to advise it follows the corpse (Ghana Proverb)

wonder who says these things anyway? Yeah, I mean its supposed to be an old proverb and the fact that I'm reading it means that the cultural divide is becoming smaller and I should appreciate the fact that I know an old proverb from a culture I probably would not have the fortune of imeersing myself in

but anyway.

Imagine its from a one of those communal dinners they have where they sit around the fire and partake of their fare. And then they will be cleaning their teeth, when an old wrinkled women with a toothless smile (as you can see, much of my extensive knowledge comes from NG channel) spots a fly buzzing around the carcass of a wildebeest they had just stripped when she bares her toothless gums and spouts this adage. Upon hearing this, the others marvel at her wisdom and soon it becomes famous. Mothers tell their daughters ; Fathers tell their sons; chiefs tell their people and soon it proliferated.

God, what a romantic world we live in :)
****
In other words, I just realised that somewhere along the line, I'm no longer blogging for me but for YOU (partly because of my nature) but I ws bathing and came to this conclusion. Started blogging when I was in sec2. and it started out as way to express my feelings and my thoughts because some were too quirky be told and those who read my blog were aware of my quirkiness. Moreover, it mostly consisted of my massive bimboness and immaturity that I still haven't lost but have better learnt to express.haha

but then. Blogspot happened.

and suddenly everyone had a blog ( and its not a crticism. merely a statement) and I realised the more I added people and vice versa, I couldn't very well tell what happened to me and who was a bitch because someone always knew of the someone I was talking about
(Once, I even made up a random name to facilitate the feelings but it got into huge mess and I was attacked with major hate mails. Do not try. there will always be someone called ZwQhjug. It will be a bot and will wipe out your hard drive and your memory card) And also, though I talk, I never do. SO i don't want to offend anyone and die in the process because I just had to type it
Plus, I can't very well type who I like other than generic examples like Brad Pitt, Jay Sean, Aragorn, Johnny Depp ( also probably I haven't liked anyone.that could perhaps be the source) or what are my deepest darkest sexual fantasies are (which you will never now know) or whether I razed the PE department.(I would if I could but I can't so I shan't) because it no longer is private.

I now have an audience.

So my content is customised to your preferences
(read: to save my ass)

cherish this gift.



holy crap, I'm a writer!

staccato

I will be speaking in short sentences. cuz there's too much to say in 2 min when I will switch on the TV for the second time in god knows how long to see the cocky bastard get kicked out of SI.
and see taufik who has a meltilicious, velvety and whiskey smooth voice, become the SI

I have changed to haloscan because tag-board is so ineffecient and unreliable (two things you should make sure that your life partner isn't)

I really should.

say.

bye.


bye!

beam me up scotty!

ok. lotta things to say. will do in the most haphazard manner possibe. will probbaly be very looooooong.hmm

another day. just too much today.haha

happy a-levelling

*urk* ("o)

Well, was reading this article just now and I felt the urge to put it up cuz (haha!) appealing to my ego, it echoes a sentiment I have wondered about alot. I mean, I can already think of a whole host of problems that would come from this but its quite a novel idea.Considering that most of my friends' blogs have sentiments about the elections, the fact that Billy Bombers has put up this 'mock' election booth, the extnnsive coverage by CNA shows how much Singaporeans alone feel the pressure of the elections. US chose to make its domestic affairs, the world's affair when it took the reins to handle European reconstruction and chose to "fight" communism in 1945. America's stance has always affected the world , either as a Cold War Power or as the sole power that has remained in the aftermath of the collapse of communism, so isn't just right for us to decide who we want as the "global" leader? After all, US is just not America's leader but to an extent, the precedent for the world (though that has increasingly becoming less evident).

But of course, there is the problem of how exactly the votes are going to be distributed, who is going to distribute it? The US because it is, after all , its presidential elections or UN, because it is now, after all a global event. Then again no matter who gives it ,someone would feel short changed. And who's gonna make sure the votes aren't rigged?

Making this a global event would also then give more scope for the dissidents to target countries with policies they abhor. More scope for terrorist attacks, (hey you voted BUSH! BASTARD! BOMB HIM!) and perhaps, the world would not be divided as famously "You're either with us or against us" but rather "You're either with me or against me" so it might no longer be a case of a division of US allies and enemies (arbitarily, at any rate) but rather (taking this election as a basis) Bush vs Kerry.

But then of course, this voting system is tantamount to giving US supra national power as when the world collectively votes on issues, it is usually at a global forum with global consensus. So by the very idea that the world needs to have a say in US domestic affairs, shows that not only is she important in world affairs, she is looked to be as a leader. And a globally consented leader means he can manipulate policies and take action with more authority on what he deems fit because he had global mandate behind him (Not there won't be international backlash but the propensity would be lessened because its not so easy to condemn someone when you had a say in electing him). That effectively means placing all that power in one man's hand.

And I don't think we're just about ready for that.

surreal chronicles

Ack. just felt like posting so I could admire it on my blog skin
hehe
the space bar isn't working and if I don't apply enough force itlookslikethis. I have to depress it with both my thumbs

talk about a thumb workout.haha
hmm.. ya.

well useless information.
Did you know..
that King Croesus created the first currency system in the world
that during the French Rev, a new calenderwas proclaimed and It started on the 22nd September
There was also 2 other religions proclaimed in place of Christianity-one was by Robspierre whose "god" was known as the Supreme Being(duh right?) and the other was during 1795-1799 when the Directory was ruling and it was called theophilanthrophy. cool huh?
(I'm doing history revision as you can see..haha)
a lot of people are born in september
that everyone's voice is different just like ur fingerprint
and that 3 days grace is one of the best bands in the world

ok that was me but they are!

True Love Lasts forever

decided to commemorate my love with a new skin
Isn't Adam Levine dishy?

plus it meant loads of studying NOT done

okay. consciously telling yourself not to do things doesn't work.
well, nothing much has happened actually. but let me just articulate thoughts

Went for the SPH written test yesterday. Think I blew it but am okay. My essay on sportsmanship sounded like I was having a casual conversation and I used way too much liquid paper which would, then reflect the number of mistakes I made and consequently the lack of logic and coherence present in my thoughts and it was explictly emblazoned on the front of the test paper (which looked like an improved version of the perfect TJ GP paper which of course, every TJ GP teacher dreams of) that LOGIC, COHERENCE, CRITICAL AND ANALYTICAL SKILLS WOULD BE TESTED IN THIS PAPER.
Case in Point - I said that David Beckham's confession(albeit unintelligent [this was originally 'albeit stupid' but I LIQUID-ED it because I didn't think the Gods up there would favour that])

But I really didn't care for the way the test was formatted. I thought scholarship required creativity. The only creativity shown in the whole damnned test was this part where they asked you to come up with a title less than 6 words both creative and accurate. I mean, you could have given more creative questions even if they were focussed almost completely on Singapore. But then again, I'm not exactly the best person to critique.. am I?

hmm.. lot more to say.. actually farewell, this amazing book called the 7 percent solution which tells you the Sherlock Holmes was never killed by Professor Moriarty and that he was actually battling a cocaine addiction while postponing WW1 and gives credence to the idea that he was not actually ficticious but that Arthur Conan Doyle was just protecting his confidence. but this was basically a one-off bitching session so I will save the fun and laughter until After the A's.. which is approximately in 1 week

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH~

until then

ok i'm a compulsive lier (the spelling looks wrong but the point of communication is that you get what I mean. which I think you did)
and anyway, I feel that the more the presure piles up, the more there is pathos in life.
so why deny it eh?

anyway, i've realised that blogs do not actually serve to keep up with your friends's lives but to realise how increasingly you're not part of it such that you are no longer a constant. It tell you how much you're missing out in their lives and serves to remind you that you should make an effort to be part of it

sighs.

If ur looking for a digicam, get Canon powershot a400! it rocks. i just kept stroking my ego by talking pictures of myself and my room.hehe :)

Ok I promise. This will be the last time I blog b4 my A's.
started studying yesterday. very very slow. Urgh. My dad says its just a matter of willpower. You should study do much that you don't think of anything but studies. Never have reached that level.Really. Its unthhinkable but sometimes I wish I ahd that drive instead of aimlessly drifting. Sure, its fun but urgh.

Have been incoherent the whole day. Start saying something and I drift off half way. Brenda asserted its because I have no brains. Hmm. I was coherent yesterday so this is wad must have happened today this morning



my brains must have fallen out while I wasn't looking (TJ can do that to you)
haha. Lame.

And I thought long and hard yesterday and came to some conclusions.
Thinking is nice for the soul but I hate the fact that there are no answers.

ok off to be a non-blogger, lame or not.
ciao !

this is part of the UN notes that I've been working on *beams* am proud of it! *beams again*  

urgh. not studying. URGH. URGH.
that seems to be the word of the day.
am dreading grad day (no thanks to u LIZ! :P)
urgh. and i feel pissed. Missed my grades by ONE effing mark.URGH!
To scholarship or not?
ah fuck
hate growing up.
angsty.angsty.angsty.

Bright side, Princess diaries was uber cute especially the
"I loathe you"
"I loathe you"
aww.
and Jay sean's video. he's so hot.haha.why is TJ so sad? (and lynn, despite the pondering, they are surreally ugly)and I get to finally read the curious incident!!!
:D

urgh. studying.must study.

ok this is probably mindless rambling.Ihave no idea how people type with such deep thoughts. sighs. the floozie syndrome. i need to dig deeper in the recesses of my underused brain.

scrambled eggs. green eggs and ham

It was nice when Dr Seuss always had the answer.
sighs.

kissed the sun and burnt her tongue

that is my quote. a la vasudha original So to infiltrators(read GAU) who want to pirate it, you cant (*THPTHHHHHHHHH* GAU take that!) and pass it off as your own, in extreme violation of IP rights (obviously GAU, staying in aussie hasn't exposed you to HIP (human and intellectual property), the s'pore branch~Piracy is stealing too!)

so ha! you can't touch this!

Humourous Philosophy one-o-one








Singaporeans need this coupled with a smack in the head.

As I was talking To Huey Woon and Khai Yan yesterday en way to see the great B,

and if sherlock holmes was put in charge of finding the WMD in Iraq..

Sherlock : Elementry, my dear Watson. Its just not there.

ok i lied. haha
Blogging to spread great information to the masses.
Please go watch Wimbeldon.

Its nice. and the german guy Nikolai Coster
....Mmmm....
IS yummy :)

yes yes will study Soon. urgh. unkh.

wow. movie overload in the past one week

From last Wednesday:

1) Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle
2) A Cinderella Story
3) Dodgeball
4) The Terminal
5) Les Choristes
6) White Chicks

That's almost like a movie per day. hmm.

Prelim Results were much better than I expected but still pissed because yeah, well, shall not piss off other people.
This just proves that If I put effort, I can do it, which obviously is not a lesson I have learned judging from the past week

Ah crap 4 weeks to A's. will not be blogging henceforth

And oh yeah,

*ahem*
I'm in lurve :)
with Jay Sean

I knew u buggers out there are dying to see me fall my ass over in love. but its not happenin. :P

Things I have learnt in the past four hours of online persual of nothingness

I love these vastly complicated titles which sound as though they have a wealth of meaning hiiden in their depths but in reality, have nothing to do with the remotest possibilty of intelligence(kinda like this sentence).

I jut realised that my tolerence is greater and my paranoia slightly lesser when I'm online than face to face. Does this mean we are losing patience with the human race?

I think stinkiness enhances the level of brain cell activity and I've come to thsi conclusion after much experimentation of not bathing till now since I woke up at 8 a.m.. It feels quite liberating for a person who bathes as soon as she gets up.

went out with shaan and Asha yesterday.Had fun though stoopid shaan kept putting me on the spot witha asha. Asha is such a nut..haha. sadly not permitted to disclose details. but yea, you should have been there to experience the nutiness.

I realised that I don't have to feel weirded out anymore, as I realised when talkin to Jo, becuase the expectation has to be both ways and what you think that person would assign to you as a friend may not be as great as you think it would be and that it is merely your ego that prompts such an assumption.

hmm.. deep thoughts of stinkiness on an empty stomach..potent combination

ugh. I look like a female version of the "boil guy" in Harold and Kumar go to white castle
(which by the way is fantastic. Really, you have to watch it. It's crass humour at the highest order)

I hate break outs. My skin feels like leather, I feel like crap and school hasn't even started.

I hate days like these. they always preclude mass murders and doomsday prophecies.

*OOOOOHHH*
It just gets me!!!

I think this is how Qi ying feels about main stream music
[Ok, I can feel 'the look' being flashed in my way]

It shouldn't get me, I know!! But I've heard of Three Days Grace (and they are really very good) waaaaaaaaay before you have , even before it came on the radio or MTV and now, it just GETS me when everyone is spouting it like its the best band ever and they've always heard of it. *OOOOO* Same goes with Maroon 5's "She will be loved".. I had all their songs even beofre you could finish saying "harder to breathe" and I loved it!! Suddenly its on radio everywhere and previously, some people who were like "Gawd! That song is so gross" are now mouthing the damn lyrics like Adam Levine wrote it for them. Damn you wannabes! You are pissing the hell outta me. Its not so much that I heard it first but its like you just dissed it earlier becuase it wasn't something that sounds like Justin Timberlake singing and now you embrace it like your second soul. You guys are tainting the meaning of anything rock. *OOOOOOOOOOOOOO* you just get me. I'm not being puritanical.

*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*
It just gets me

Random thoughts swirling kinda like the icky unidentifiable bits that are in vomit

actually had a lot more poignant things to say but Urgh, when you don't blog consistently, everything you want to say just builds up and then you get all slobby and inconsistent. urgh. Its sad, that everything is "rule"d even in the place of no rules. Hmm, so does that mean there are the ten commandments in the digital realm ordained by the digital god?

Oh yeah, this is late but thank you all for your birthday wishes.This year was different because some unexpected people went so far that I was flabbergasted but all your birthday wishes were welcomed so much. It really was nice :) SorryI'm not mentioning names becuase I'm lazy and slothful. I'll pay for it negative karma points.

I have realised that most of my favourite worda have the sh sound in them...like squash..squash..skwasshhh.....its so threaupatic.. hey! maybe when retail therapy and kabalala (spelling?!?!) is passe, phonotherapy might make a breakthrough..Like

"Okay repeat after me -"squash the flat bug!!",
"squash the flat bug!!",
"Don't squash it!!!",
"Don't squash it!!!",
"Squash it!"
"Squash it! "
"SQUASH it !!!!"
"SQUASH IT!!"
"Skwassssh it!"

ok that sounds more like a bloodthirsty massacre war cry, ("the squashers and the squashies" haha) but you get my drift

Literary I am obviously not

eh liz, you ain't seen nuthin yet*

Lynn.. I dreamt I was married and my brother was the emcee at my wedding.
I'd rather marry a gnome.really.



*Please intonate with alot of rapper dude attitude

On the other planes of Vasudha-land,

1) Official War has been declared with the leader of the brat posse,LIZ (short for Zen-Initaited Loser reversed) though diplomatic relations still remain, albeit precarious. Latest meeting enused in chaos and vulagarities being exchanged.

2) A traitor has been found within our aliies. AHEM. We know who you are. And, you are either with us or with them (statement issued to add pizzaz to otherwise mundane news flash)

3) Crisis may enuse due the inherent lack of ability of the premier to reconcile with second central authority. For the first time in Vasudha Land history, ground command has been moved to FLUNKCON 1. The next level would be disastrous to contemplate. Citizens are warned to remain on guard for volatile mood swings of the Premier.

Ok, this is getting tiring, shall attempt to study for his S despite severe underqualification.

Well, its been 6 days since i turned 18 and I'm still waiting for some epiphany to strike. So far, it seems to be MIA . 18 when you're 18 and 18 when you're 13 is two different things indeed. I'm still missing the great things that I would have done and all the partying. The only thing that seems consistent is the workload. As Di and I were discussing, there's this increased sense of dissatisfaction that's plauging us. The constant feeling of not not maximising full potenitial where there's a huge deflationary gap present. Operation at the frontier of my production possibilty curve is absent. I know this feeling has been niggling on at the back of my mind since the start of the year and I know I'm not doing anything to change it but whining. It irritates me when I see people achieving when we are at the same standing but yet, I consciously do not fault them for their successes. I just can't face up to my inadequacy of not performing to the best of my abilities. And that irks me. Because, I'm drifting and cramming BUT at the same time, I don't know what I'm good at. There is no tangible proof of my ability other than being a motor mouth. I'm scared because I have so many ideas but not enough guts to follow through with them because sadly tempered with my impulsiveness. paradoxically, is a worrisome temperment.

I hate introspection.

Worse still, I hate it when it comes attached with the birthday blues. foo

I think to be a Hindu, one has to possess a certain degree of paranoia and speculative abilities

i.e becuase...

Ok, the Hindus believe in karma so what ever you do WILL come back and bite you in the ass so the safest course is to do good all the time.
Which is of course, nice and peachy if you could.
I can't
Not that I don't have the intention but things work against me (probably because of previous bad karma but I keep accumulating so until I exhaust it, I'm doomed to not have good> evil in my account balance. Its gonna be a long trip for my soul.haha.)

WELL, its not so much the idea of karma itself because it is a pretty judicial system. You know, all you reap what you sow.. its the idea of "you're gonna get it, no matter what" or "whoo eee..payback time...WHAM!" that I don't relish.
See, unlike a jail term, I don't know when my ass is gonna get bitten or where or how. There is no in-between for the repayment of sins bit.( I don't think S/HE's ever in between jobs) So, for all I know, My A's have already pre ordained. So why am I even studying?

So, you start getting paranoid and superstitious..is the bus late cuz I told my mum i was studying when i was watching a movie? Did I sprain my ankle cuz I skipped PE the last time around?Does the crazy dog only choose me to bark at because well I was a thief in my previous birth? Does F Tong want to see me cuz I tucked out my uniform after he said don't for the nth time? ..Ok wait.. that isn't karma but you see what all the speculation can do.. make you paranoid. Before you know it, you don't know whether you're in the cockpit with the automatic pilot on or off. hmm.. And unlike the prehistoric conversation that meg and I had, I don't think karma meters are replacable any longer.

So, all we can do is pray for a lighter sentence so you get "whoo ee..payback time...thunk" instead of WHAM.

*wails* I want confession!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But then again, the bastards in Russia will have it coming like " whoo ee.. payback time.. WHACKSLAPDASHTHUNKABITCRASHBANGBAMSLAM"

and they deserve their bad karma.

To all the people I have hurt knowingly and unknowingly..


Walked around my good intentions
And found out there were none
I blame my father for the wasted years
We hardly talked
Never thought I would forget this hate
And a phone call made me realize I'm wrong

And if I don't make it known
that I loved you all along
Just like sunny days that
We ignored because
We're both dumb and jaded
And I hope to God

I figure out whats wrong
Walked around my room
not thinking Sinking in this box
Blame myself for being
too much like Somebody else
I never thought I would just bend this way
Then a phone call made me realize I'm wrong

Sometimes, when I walk pass the departure hall, I'm suddenly siezed by this intense longing to just leave. Hop on a plane and go away, somewhere else which is my home instead of here. I really want to leave. Away from all of this. Its the kind of longing that is accompanied by breathlessness that occurs until you have to conciously tell yourself to breathe and it all comes rushing out in a a big whoosh. The kind where it hurts to breathe because you know you can't leave.Wanderlust.Sighs. So many things to do and so many things to see but just not enough.

Studying at the airport definitely throws a few curveballs

Was at starbucks yesterday and my god, michelle and me were just laughing and laughing. and laughing and laughing. and laughing. It was like a switch or something and Hui Xun kept removing the "barrier" and we just kept giggling about the dumbest things. And yeah, I just couldn't stop. Needless to say, I didn't get much done but Laughter is good for the soul.

Life is good...for now :)

Stop it. STOP IT. I'm not the cause neither am I your one stop baggage unloading dock. Yes, I don't understand and I don't thinkI ever will. You are NOT the centre of the universe. I have apologised and if you don't think me worthy to deign me a reply to that then STOP communicating with me. Stop telling me what is screwing you over because you obviously don't think we have a relationship so why am I still listening to you? I don't know why I'm still indulging you and being hypocritical but all you do is cry all the time and I just don't have the energy to deal with you. I really don't. I'm sick of being misunderstood and feeling like a bitch.
I care but not enough to deal with you the way you are supposed to be dealt with. Please just leave me alone. Please.

Please.

There will be a new hierarchial system implemented on earth after much thinking. The two executive planners met weeks earlier but only after MUCH debating were able to agree upon this as the most just form of segregation, here upon earth.

THE NEW ORDER
As ordained by Fatma and Vasudha

GOD




Brad Pitt




Everyone Else

>>Haha<<

IG=Indian Girl
M=mother (hers)
GM= grandmother (hers but rest assured, anything with old crochety people is vastly entertaining)

M: I'm thinking about finding a groom for you
IG: *horrified* Why?
M: You are taking too long than a normal time an Indian girl would take to find a husband. Its disgraceful.
IG: Its only been 6 months since you talked about marriage
GM : *cackling* did you hear that M, only 6 months! In my time, we would have given birth to a child.
IG: it takes 9 months to give birth. stop exaggerating.
M: Don't be rude to your elders. See, this is precisely why you are not getting a husband. Always yakking
GM: Its all these new fangled technology business that takes so long. In my time, Push! and its over.
IG: Its a factual error! You'd be pushing for days! And anyway, my Chinese friends all haven't got husbands and they're okay. Their mothers aren't down their throats.
M: *horrified* how dare you! They're of a different culture.
GM: *wails* This is precisely why I told your husband 30 years ago when he wanted to come to Singapore, nothing doing. Stay in India and be happy. Singapore! my foot. I told him his daughter will turn out to be one of those cabaret dancers you see on TV. Did he listen? No. Nobody ever listens to me anyway. I'm just a dried up old women. No respect anymore. Even my own grandchildren are questioning my pain. 6 months and only I know the pain. If I didn't suffer would you be here to disrespect me like this? Its all this technology that is emboldening them.
M: *gasp* Do you have a technological boyfriend? Is that it? You are determined to bring disrespect to our doorstep. All our reputation gone. Talking back to your grandma and upsetting her like this. What will people think?
GM:*whispers* I have a heart condition you know.
IG : *rolls eyes* Its an E boyfriend and no, I don't have one. And what about all the Chinese friends of mine who married at a so called respectable age?
GM: *mulishly*That's different. They eat meat.
M: *wails* I'll never get you married off!! No e-tech- boyfriend also. Even a boy who hasn't seen you doesn't want you. You will disgrace the good name of this household.

I just realised I'll be the first one in the Singapore extension of the Srinivasan family to do my A's.

crap

Just realised the folly of watching 13 going on 30, which despite the very misleading trailer, is actually pretty deep as it traces a 13 year old decision 17 years later when well, she is 30. And it is a very scary thought to realise that a decision that you could take would just revolutionalise your future. I t doesn't even have to be a momentous decision, just a small one and boom. we all fall down.

I'm too young!! Then again, who is to judge how old are we to actually feel comfortable enough to take decisions that about which we are basically unaware of the ramifications until later, and sadly, there is not enough wishing dust or time turners in the world today to correct those mis-takes.

(interestingly, mistake is either to mis(s) a take? or mis as a suffix for (misstep) take so you take the wrong take? )

But its a bit like playing Spider Solitaire.. You have the Ctrl+Z option to go back and see what would have happened if you chose another card but sooner or later you have to make a decision.. and really, it is a slippery slope because who knows when you stop? after the next card, you still don't have ALL your options spread out because if you wanted it that way, you have to pursue it completely and that would mean finishing the game.

Psyching with flakes.

oh plus, Mark Ruffalo was so hunky there, all scruffy looking and broad shoulders. :)

this one's for you KY,
the trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it - Franklin P. Jones

Oh, Ye of so little faith.

open : mouth
insert: foot

oh, blah

Disclaimer: This is written, bearing in mind the least offence to the persons most traumatised.
Next time, Maximillain i-don't-give-a-flying-fish-to-what-your-last-name-is, be careful of where you put your foot. You already insterted it into your mouth once and maybe next time, you'll be careening down the LT1 steps with the smell of everyone's shoes in you nose and the ugly socks IN YOUR FACE as you finally land sprawling on the landing in an inelegant heap, devoid of all sensibilities and buring with shame and emabarrassment as you grapple with the idea of people laughing at you.

Oh! To be the foot that will trip you up.

Oh wait, it will.

*mwahahahaha*

ok. i was wrong.horribly wrong. Told Jo that quote You'd reach home by 3 and just finish both essays by 5 and can start studying. How hard is that? end quote

time check:5.50
Essays done : ZERO
Econs done: 0 %

Eternal optimism loses to reality with a tight slap to cheek. Score 100:1

Was surveying some blogs and was particularly amazed at the sophisticated lang used. Felt like a substandard example of an Arts student. The only quote that I can remember till today, off hand, from MAAN is kill claudio. Not exactly the most exemplary example.This attitude was further reinforced becauseI spent 5 min trying to subtract 49 from 63 during econs.

*lkASFlksdjflkasdhgljh;lksdfqwjorkpeasjlfk;e*

they need a new emotive word for that
my A's are in 8 weeks. By, then my belief in God would only further serve to be strengthened.

Its not that we're giving up. Just don't know what to do. what ARE we supposed to do? Asking whether you're ok seems so cursory and patronising cuz you and I both know the answer. Its like the blind leading the blind. I don't get you and you don't get me. Its not fucking easy either on this side either. Yeah, we said we'll be there and we will be but we need to know the time and place too. Get what I mean? No one's blaming you because we know you hurt but we can't walk around treating you like glass can we? Beacuse even if we do, its not really gonna change anything? We don't know your next move because we are NOT you. Its like a chessboard with no squares. Only you know whether you're white or black.You recognised the need for change and we can only be there telling you where to walk. We can't lift your legs unless you want us too.

Yeah, maybe we are being bitchy and insensitive. I wonder too. Are we dealing with it too lightly? You called us gullible. Frankly, I don't think so. I think we're cynical simply because we don't believe. Are you naive? I don't know.? Maybe you are. Thinking you can block it out. The Queen always wins? That's just plain cowardice.

Its the same face to face but never the same blog to blog. Maybe because there are less feelings to step on. wish this could be articulated but then, it might be too painful. That you can foresee.

Please look at yo, not as what you are but what you could be

And that's all there is to it. really.

Vegetarian is an old Native American word for 'doesn't hunt well'.
haha. quite funny. now I know why we evolved this way. my forefathers just didn't have the guts to hold a damn gun.

Stayed back in school to study, albeit unsuccessfully.ugh.met ras.. did the whole huggy screaming excited thing.She deserved every bit of it and now has helped me successfully prop up my future resume.haha.

Was listening to the national day rally speech yesterday and believe it or not, the funniest line to me was babies are a serious problem. Paradoxical huh? I know what it's supposed to mean but still, its so adorable. I mean, babies are the cutest things ever and they're supposed to un-seriousfy(made-up word) you but they are a serious problem.How quaint.

Refinement is just being a bitch with a good vocabulary.
pearls of wisdom from vasud's mouth :)
can see zub rolling her eyes, along with debbie, denise, jolyn, khai yan,lin zhi..ok yeah everybody. just you wait...when I'm successful.haha.

Congratulations to Ras. love ya. :)

happy.happy.happy.happy.happy.

Sighs. The spheres are colliding again and I HATE IT.
why do they have to merge? Why do they even need to touch?
Split perosnalities are merging.
ugh.

*disgruntled*

"She gave me for my pain a world of sighs"
Othello

Funny, right now it seems as though everybody is giving sighs for a world of pain.
Shakespeare was a helluva smart guy when he said "All the world's a stage"(As You Like It)

Talking on the phone earlier, the irony just kept coming back to me. Its not even double irony, its dramatic irony. I was laughing so hard. The world's a funny little place. So perverse. So VERY perverse.

woebegone.frustrated.empathy.apathy.sympathy.
superior.unhappy.commiseration.tenderness.
marvelling.vulnerable.anger.rage.annoyed.irritated.
pity.sad.helpless. bewildered.muddled.floored.
mystified.confused.wondering.pondering.

All suckered and tuckered up. oh yeah.

Is it learning how to deal with human complexity and consequently learning how to be mature? Or we already mature and are learning how to deal with human simplicity? Its a matter of choice? To take the rose-coloured ones or the jaded emerlad ones?

Di once said that she wished that she could remove the mask and be who we truly are. But what happens if the mask is embedded so deep, you no longer no who you are. Or worse still, no longer knowing but thinking you do but completely unaware that the parasite has taken over you. You think you can rip it out when you want to but you can't because its clawed into you.

Should read more Girl Interrupted. Its good for your soul. Cleansing it, making it whole and unblemished. Someone recommanded Prozac Nation. If it's anything like GI, I should be in very good hands indeed.
Very good hands

So you think. I'm right after all. I'm just preparing my self for the world out there. But there's some sort of self doubt niggling that's screaming, "What if it IS made up of blue skies and green meadows. You just wasted your time."

I guess then the laugh's on you. undoubtedly. Because you thought you had a guarentee. You were sorely mistaken and now its too late. becuase what's done IS done. Why do you think they sing " If only I could turn back time"

Guarentee for protection from afflictions in life is like asking the Mafia to protect you from their hitmen.

Our Lady Peace - 4 a.m.
And if I don't make it known that
I've loved you all along
just like sunny days that
we ignore because
we're all dumb & jaded
and I hope to God I figure out
what's wrong

And you thought you won.

It's just a parody. All of this is. Don't you get it? {insert laugh track}

It IS funny. You just don't get it.

{insert laugh track}
That's why everyone else is laughing.

Went out with Fatma on Monday and yes babe! you shouldn't tempt poor St Pat boys at their prime when they are unable to control their raging hormones. Ok, sorry I made you wait but I was teaching you the art of patience.haha.which we ALL know that you sorely lack. Sadly, I lost every single argument that day and I blame it on the swollen eye. It muddled my thought process. NOT my fault. But bought nice slippers at Royal Sporting House. happy.happy.happy

ok. actually had a lot more to say but i shall act as zubaidah proclaimed I was

self absorbed.haha.

happy.happy.happy

To YOU : (and all the you’s I used to know…)

Maybe you felt like this….

if shame had a face i think it would kind of look like mine
if it had a home would it be my eyes would you believe me
if i said i am tired of this now here we go one more time
i tried to climb your steps i tried to chase you down
i tried to see how low i could get down to the ground
i tried to earn my way i tried to change this mind
you better believe i tried to beat this
when will this end it goes on and on and over and over and over again
keep spinning around i know it won't stop till i step down from this for good
i never thought i'd end up here i never thought i'd be standing
where i am i guess i kind of thought it would be easier than this
i guess i was wrong now one more
time this is a sick cycle carousel this is a sick cycle, yeah

Lifehouse- Sick Cycle Carousel

I wish I could understand… I really do but I don’t and sometimes I’m glad I don’t. Yeah, the children in Ethiopia don’t have food, water or shelter but for that we should be thankful but like I said, everyone’s problems seems the biggest to them. And yes, we are self absorbed. What you said did hit a nerve. But I hope it did get you thinking.

You asked us...How do you know if I’ve changed? I don’t really know that but I do know that for a person who is so passionate about what she loves, she would not do what she did. I do know she is a girl who knows how to pick herself up and draw from the strength that is in her. I know she has that will because she is the only one out of us who managed to attend PE completely without actually voicing out that she wants to skip. And that dahling, speaks volumes.

I know that you not only have the strength to pick yourself up but also have the strength to pick others who have fallen. Don’t ask me how I would know… I just do. It’s the same thing that keeps all those of us who have talked to you. You are sensible and logical, saner than anyone of us here and I don’t think you truly meant what you told us. Cuz if you did, you would have cut a little bit longer and a little bit deeper but you must have realised that spiralling downwards was not the way to go at all. And that was the first step.

Like I said, I wish I could understand how pain could make you feel better but I don’t. I do know, however, that hurting yourself isn’t going to stop people from hurting you. And when would it have stopped? If people screw your life later, do you think you’d be able to live with yourself? I don’t want to imagine the consequences. You can never block out the pain…it’s always waiting to surface unless you deal with it the way its mean to be dealt with – head on. Pain in this from is just like running away… and precisely when do you think it’s gonna stop? When there’s nothing left in you? Do you think the hurt will stop then…I don’t think so. I can guarantee you it’ll just rush back ten fold and attack you when your defenceless.. Why not deal with it when you have the ammunition? I got the POWER!!! Don’t ever say that life’s not worth it! It is. I appeal to your rationality to look past the clichés and embrace the meaning. Up babe! You haven’t had quality sex yet!!

Yea Yeah I know, it’s the same old argument but you are gonna keep hearing it until its drilled into your head. Praying may not help but it doesn’t mean that God isn’t there watching… I’m sure you’ve heard of the footsteps story a million and one times and I’m sure s/he’s right next to you. I don’t think s/he really minds the way you talk to HIM/HER (just waylaying gender issues) as long as you do…

As I’m sure you’ve been hearing everyone tell you… we won’t be around for too long and yes, that is partly because the world is self absorbed. It did hit a nerve yeah, but didn’t damage the whole nervous system and I think deep down inside, you know that too and you know that you’d be thinking the exact same thing. But since we’re here now, why don’t you milk us for all we’re worth? We all did worry, you know, and kept envisioning one of those ST articles which go “we never thought she’d jump…she seemed so well adjusted” And I for one would not be looking forward to that scenario. So yeah, we shout out and say ‘me!” one too many times but that doesn’t mean we don’t care or suddenly smile because we got reminded of a memory of you and us. It doesn’t mean we stopped thinking about you. It just means we kinda forgot and took you for granted a bit too much and I plead guilty. But that doesn’t mean that if you disappear off the face of the earth, life would progress on smoothly immediately. We would wonder, we would cry, we would hold the unshed tears inside us cuz we would remember you as the dancer who never skipped PE and made notes that would rival KY’s, who would claim to be mature and laugh just as loudly when someone did something immature, would glare ferociously but would have a hint of a smile peeping out, would throw temper tantrums for math sums but could be loving and generous when it came down to the real stuff, could be completely bitchy and wouldn’t take offence, would always go the toilet with you no matter how many times you were there already, would always be prepared to go anywhere with you, would always lounge around at the scope benches and was always there with her lame comments like “wit-tee and the “bulge” to make you laugh out loud. And frankly, even if we did want to forget, we could never.

Your picture is just too big enough for us to ignore.

Love you

Remember I told you today to go listen to this… well, if you can’t, here are the lyrics

She told him she'd rather fix her makeup
than try to fix what's going on
But the problem keeps on calling
even with the cell phone gone
She told him that she believes in living
bigger than she's living now
But her world keeps spinning backwards
and upside down

Don't say so long, and throw yourself wrong
Don't spin today away, cause today will soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone,
Like history is gone
Just try to prove me wrong
And pretend like you're immortal

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every day we borrow brings us
one step closer to the edge, infinity
Where's your treasure, where's your hope
if you get the world and lose your soul?
She pretends like she pretends like she's immortal

Don't say so long, you're not that far gone
This could be your big chance to make up
Today will soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone
Like history is gone
The world keeps spinning on
You're going, going, gone
Like summer break is gone,
Like saturday is gone
Just try to prove me wrong
You pretend like you're immortal.

We are not infinite
We are not permanent
Nothing is immediate
We're so confident
In our accomplishments
Look at our decadence

Gone, like Frank Sinatra, like Elvis and his mom,
Like Al Pachino's cash, nothing lasts in this life
Gone, my high school dreams are gone,
my childhood sweets are gone
Life is a day that doesn't last for long.

Life is more than money, time was never money
Time was never cash, life is still more than girls.
Life is more than hundred dollar bills and roto-tom fills,
Life is more than fame and rock and roll and thrills,
All the riches of the kings end up in wills
We've got information in the information age but do
We know what life is outside of our convenient Lexus cages?
She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every moment that we borrow brings us closer
to the God who's not short of cash
Hey Bono, I'm glad you asked
Life is still worth living, life is more than what we are

'Life is so only-once, so single-chancish! It all depends on your arranging andsynchronising it so that when opportunity knocks you're right there waiting withyour hand on the doorknob.'
Sylvia Plath

current position: legs ontop of head, in the pursuit of supple limbs to promote tantric sexin later stage of life.

haha.Was talking to kash and he asked what I was doing and I replied that..so we snorted and gurgled for a very long time.haha.(you can guess who did what)

ok really. i'm sitting on my dad's mafia-exec chair(you know one of those big black chairs that the big bosses always sit in and swivel around from looking out if the window to give the impression of great villainy being plotted) and the keyboard's on my lap and I'm listening to Sarah Mclachlan's Buliding a Mystery

Watched The Notebook yesterday with denise and its a very nice body..haha.I meant movie.Ryan Gosling has a very nice body though. verrrrrrrry nice. but really the movie is very very sweet. well after that we just sneaked across to the next cinema and were waiting for the show to start. And you should have seen my face when it was HOFD. I just starting gurgling cuz denise was like "i bloody hope its not HOFD" before she went to the toilet. I was just giggling helplessly.

The movie is absolute rubbish and trash. With the current exception of liz, I would pay pple money not to watch it. It ranks 0.2 slighlty above The Pool, due to the saving grace of Takashi. But even his hotness couldn't save the movie's super flimsy plot. Actually, objectively speaking, the plot's not too bad but there was no sense of closure and there were alot of loopholes and "haahs?"(with the super dumb face). Oh god, it felt like a damnned 80's tamil movie.

Not good.

We chose the new debate exco on wednesday and well,hope they can make true all the dreams. Well, sometimes it feels that the 2003 has done nothing much other then open doors (which I did alot.haha) But I guess, we crystalised debate's identity and made it abit more famous?( I still remember during open house when confronted with why debate was so small, I came up with this wonderful speech (if i should say so myself) that we just didn't choose anyone in debate and there was this selection process and only a final few would be choosen because We are an elite group and all the while thinking If you buy this crap, you are not qualified to be a freakin deabator. Why do we have so little people? Look around you dumbass, you blind? This is a effing poster for cheena-kingdom and do you think english debate belongs to such a place? The only culture that is understood here is bacteria and you freakin dare ask me why there the numbers are so small. It is precisely becuase of you infidels we are like this. duh!? But when you think about it, we are an elite group.yeah) Hmmm. I think we bridged the gap between meg, josh and the juniors.Oh well, whatever it is, we kinda get credit, cuz they achieved so much while we were in charge and though its mostly due to meg and josh, I take teeny weeny satisfaction.haah.

ok liz i think i forgive you..haha.

Since there is an obvious lack of proper administrative maintenance of FB aka WT aka liz, i have to resort to defiling my blog. to liz:

beginning of transimission
FUCK YOU BITCH!!!! you are a FUCKING BITCH!
end of transmission

You will rue this day because, ten years down the road, you will be producing cliff look-a-likes and they will suck your blood dry and you can't get out of it cuz ur too in looove with their daddy.

which of course, is ur one and only love, cliff.

have a nice day

Sometimes I just get so irritated and want to holler at everyone around me and say “:WAKE UP and smell the damnned roses if I have to thrust your effing face into it”

Why are humans so concerned about their outer image that they just let themselves rot within, not taking time to appreciate the small things, to just learn how to accept and let go gracefully? Why are we always clutching on by the very rags of or nails, lying to ourselves, that this one thing is with what we matter without realising that we are just letting ourselves down and making things worse.

Sure, there are bigger things out there but does anyone stop and think that the big always have to start somewhere small. So if you appreciate the small things, just like smiling more or by just laughing out loud, you are preparing yourself to handle the big things. We are given such a short period of time, so why do we waste time moaning how much it sucks and how we should be doing something else and how we have not lived for the past eighteen years. Isn’t it about time we grew up? To realise that to live is not to get the best cards but to make the best of your cards. To realise by doing something as insignificant as walking in the rain is enough to give you pleasure and to admit to yourself that it is pleasurable and to feel happy that it is raining and you can feel every single drop, coursing thorough you and just feeling it patter down.

Why do we not embrace the lightness of being (thanks lynn!!! It’s a great book) and insist that life is burden that must weigh us down? When did it shift from looking forward to looking backward? Why must it shift? Because we let it. Because we get bogged down by things we can’t change and we just love wallowing in that rut and try to blame everything else, Well guess what, human? You have no one to blame but yourself. Go take an attitude change. Others have no time for you.
Just snap out of it because sooner or later, people will tire of you and when its too late and all the familiar faces have turned strange, you have just dug your own grave.

Find new things to do. Don’t be a has been, be a has be. There a million and one things to appreciate about life and if you just sit there and stare at the black spot in the white screen, stare at it for eternity because time has no patience for you and before you know it, when you get up, you’ll have arthritis. The world doesn’t revolve around you and please do not tell me I know because if you do it just makes you more irritating because now you are knowingly going through the motions and all the more, the world will not stop moving. Don’t stop living in the present because of what has been or what is to come. Savour each moment. Because your time her eon earth is already short, do not shorten it further. Who knows what fate has in store for you?

Get a real life

Heyooooooo

I think that my computer was dropped on its CPU when it was a laptop because it behaves like complete retard... I really mean it!!! And my laptop sucks, because it has exceeded its playtime with my brother, thereby triggering a diffusion cycle where, like my brother, it starts losing brain cells (or in its case, kilobytes or RAM) to the surrounding atmosphere.
Spend a few minutes with my brother and you’ll understand. Spend a few seconds with my laptop and you’ll sympathise.

Not funny

A typical encounter with my laptop goes like this (as it is the only device now capable of internet connection as my computer was dropped on its CPU...remember?). Switch it on. See that the LCD screen is still not on…bang it on the left side really hard, preferably with a fist and the screen will myopically blink to life after which there will be this few seconds of crazed flickering then will order be restored.

And that happens if you’re lucky. If not, the screen will switch itself on and there will be this weirdo plasma colour design in my computer where you can vaguely make out the COMPAQ swirling in the centre. The first time it happened, I was alone and I screamed because I thought it was possessed by one of those crazed Japanese computer ghosty thingies (it was the guilt of mocking them that made me scream). I almost though it would start emitting voices.

Also not funny,

Well the point of me introducing you to my RAMless laptop, is to explain the lack of communication in my blog.

Which by the way is also a repercussion of the not-working-very-well enforcement mechanism of my parents (which at least is marginally more efficient than flathead’s which consists of letting thieves go for lessons but not unfairly abused individuals which are a result of repressed ex slacker school students) because of getting you-know what. The dratted S word

Not sex damnnit. Btw, if anyone nice soul has heard of the JC Chasez song “All day long I dream about sex“ (like Qi ying) please inform me ASAP so I can enlighten dear Deborah that I DID NOT MAKE IT UP AND IS NOT A RESULT OF ME THINKING ABOUT IT THE WHOLE DAY! I do not! Where the heck do people get these ideas!?!

Oh, btw, today I met princess bratz posse and it is overwhelmingly painful. They’re like alcohol, nice in small doses but highly potent in shots and excruciating in large doses. But gotta admit, they’re a classic and highly entertaining. haah~ kinda remind me of my own friends but infinitely more duh. Yay! Thatz a compliment to you guys!

Worrying about the studying which I have not been doing. My bro just cleared his exams with DISTINCTIONS excepting the pass in maths (guess it must run in the family) and I feel stressed cuz I must perform and how he does it while slacking and chatting up girls, god only knows.( to date, since going aussie, he has cleared atleast 10 and counting…he’s such a casasnova [said with a heavy sarcasm])

In comparision, I feel unfulfilled and void

Boo hoo.

This has been such a wasted entry and the blame lands squarely on flat head’s shoulders. I am upset.
Haah.

i'm an abused individual

Thoughts are meshing furiously within my head, flowing in and out as I repeatedly try to hold on to one or two but fail completely as I falter and get pushed around by the building panic.

...Shouldn't be so complicated.I'm so scared that I'll never get back together...

Well things that have happened this week

1.Pierced my nose.Look pretty good,if I should say so myself :)
2.Found out the TJ debate team is 7th in ranking and will be meeting HC on sat
3.Nobody gives a shit about that
4.Have increasingly been blabbing about myself. should stop being so self centred
5. Jolyn who brightens up my day with ultra stupid sayings such as Why was there a civil war in America? I mean, they're all white and Bet he had to buy his way into oxford
6.Will have to learn to stop being pushed around. esp where my handphone is concerned.ugh.disaster. also have to stop leaving wallet around cuz of scum-sucking extremely disgusting, ratty and pesky juniors (namely YOU!)
7.Kept thinking about things that should have been but never was. dreamt about it too.freaky.never thought about it for a long time. must be all the stress. Definitely think you belong where you are now. faaaaaaaar away and hope NOT to see you EVER
8.Have looked at the growing amount of things that I have to do and would probably only continue looking at and not DO
9.Watched Mean Gurls twice
10.got the biggest shock of my life when F thong called me u after contact time.beware of mikes
11.Read a nice book
12.saw meg after a week of Joshua-ness. Balance of power has been restored. Europe is happier now
13.Missed my bro and kart for reasons unknown
14.GOT MY NOSE PIERCED!!!!
15.hmm..vandalised tables again after a long time. stoned in lecture after a long time too.
16.saw cute(INDIAN)guy after alooong time *grinz*
17. listened to very amusing incidents that mr loft is prone to, like burning down the house :)
18.Have heard about ant more than is recommended for healthy people. probably have toxins running in my veins
19.Helped Ras identify the caucasian teachers in TJ
20.Had a fun History S period especially when there were funny conversations :-
Brenda: Why didn't they just kill Napolean?
Mr Thompson : Of course not! We're British, you know!!!
haha. obviously that isn't the real reason

Well feel better now. think. there's always order in chaos :)

Ladies and Gemtlemen, This house believes that Temasek Junior College's DEBATE TEAM HAS BROKE THROUGH TO MOVE ONTO THE SECOND ROUND OF THE NATIONALS!!!

After Four long years, we have done it. They beat Millenia Institute 3-0 and lost to National JC 2-1 but the favour is that they still may go thru because they have a 4 part gain. They have done it. We are unsure at the moment whether we'll get through because RJ has yet to debate with YJ for their second case (because for a smart JC they are really quite stupid.They failed to realise that IN A NATIONAL COMPETITION, they should verify details even if they claim "we do not question authority", as the RJ coach had put it. WHich self respecting debating team would NOT realise that they are proposing the motion TWICE and are not opposing it at all. How idiotic. And this took place, despite the fact that their coach has represented Singapore as a national debator. Obviously a ploy to gain more time because they probabaly feel unprepared. effing stupidity)


saw Jonathan Pflug in an Abercombie and Finch tee. *moan* has lost appeal

Their is also poetic justice when they beat MI because, MI beat NJ and WE beat MI, thereby in a round about way, beat NJ, even though we lost to them. And congrats to Ras!! would love to take credit but hey babe! you won this on your own. Can't really call u my protege.haha.


I know I told them to keep a level head and all but it is soo hard.HAHA. I just kept screaming and screaming. making sure that every TJ person I saw was well informed of the fact that we might break through. I walked from room 101 until the staircase that leads to under LT2 with Qiong Hui trailing me all the way and opened the pages and starting screaming, just whooped for joy and hugged ms ng, in a manner of speaking. Flipped my shoes off at the bottom of the TRC staircase, ran up barefoot(cuz the blisters were just murdering me) burst into TRC screaming in the vicinty of every teacher "TJ DID IT". ran back. waited for ramanan to announce at which point of time I couldn contain the peeping grin that was threatening to erupt.H e took forever! sorry.haha. It was waay too long. screamed abit.did a TJ cheer which I forgot the lines after Say T.haha. and Cliff had to take over.


Thank you to Meg and Josh!!!I know I keep promising to pay you but I will somehow.I really am so glad you guys were there. add another 2 starbucks drink to the growing list. Thank you for ur commitment,your time albeit ur cynical faith.:) and Joshua's "inspiring"-put them in their place- speech. haha. it sounded better n the room than it did outside.and Meg coming down even in times of familal turmoil. and er Andrew who doubt kept Meg in better spirits :) and Josh's broadband connection which prob kept him happy.haha


Thank you to Mr bala who came down on thurs and fri and cleared up the confusion that was present. Thank you to Ms Ng and Mr Veera for being there as well. Thank you Mr thompson for the use of rooms without any problems at all. completely.

Thank you too all the people who are in the debate club. Thank you.

And to my jrs. Keep a damnned level head. u better. u've shown ur capable but next week is impromptu. so yeah. and ur matchup would be much harder.but u can do it.

Thank you all for showing me that "coaching" (part coach) is satisfying. I've bonded alot with my jrs. espcially the girls. seen u guys at ur worst and ur best. laughed with you and shuddered with you.haha.seen u guys at eli's house.(which btw is very nice) cracking me up


Thank you and go get em

the plethora of random thoughts swirling in my head

Denise says that my blog reaches out to the masses and the commoners because I use simple language. Henceforth, I shall use slightly more advanced words befitting my status.

If you are bored. pls go here. vastly amusing. as haniza says "You can Bastardize anything!".haha.how true.

Have you ever wanted to know everything about everyone you knew, especially the ones you cared for and sometimes when you do know, you just wished you never did.because you do realise why somethings are meant to be that way.

oh god. PMS is getting to me.

I love the world but love as it is meant to be, never is and never will be

Isn't it sad that an age when you are supposed to look at the world through rosy tinted glasses, all we can do is stare at it through the hard jaded eye.And knowing that all of it cannot be easily blamed on a single entity

I putting this all down to JCDC stress.

I want to just sink down and just let go of everything I ever held on to and just be. just for a little while. so that sometimes it's just a little bit easier to breathe. and the pressure just eases a fraction so that I can be a little kid again
and smile with cherubic innocence and marvel at the world as it is without all the other things that would impose upon the space you have that you have created as a kid, in your own little world


why is it so hard?

and yes I guess people do get down and psycho on their blogs
...

Blog extract:

just heard some irritating news. apparently, some teacher read a student's blog in which she was called a bitch and a whole fuss was kicked up with said student getting a big scolding. the teacher came from a school which is the singaporean equivalent of a us high school, located somewhere in northeast singapore, where the students' uniforms have a distinct faecal resemblance.

my take on this? shoot the f**king teacher. doesnt she have any concept of blogging at all? doesnt she have any concept of privacy at all? firstly, how did she get to access the blog? if she wasnt asked there, she probably found it on her own, and that doesnt give her the right to comment on what students have to say on it. isnt a blog like an online diary, how could she access it and then chew out a student for what is essentially a private opinion?

secondly, with all our emphasis on students' opinions, initiative and independent learning, why are we penalising students when they do exactly just that?

finally, isnt it ironic that by doing what she did, the teacher is just proving that she really is what she s been called.


I picked this up from a friendz blog who picked it up from a JC teacher's blog (not TJ.. god forbid they would write something like this..)


My god.there is a digital god.sometimes it is so easy to forget that your teacher is just not a teacher but a person too and she or he is capable of having a blog too and probably might be reading ours. and knowing about our lives. My god, are we truly never free from them? For all i know, the next anonymous tag i receive would be from a teacher.. but I guess, there is always a flip side in the digital world.You know that when you publish a blog, that anyone could read it and since, teachers are actually not prehsitoric beings who live in caves, but are in fact avid users of the internet, could possibly be reading this. for all i know, YOU ARE A TEACHER! *gasp*


.creepy.


can you imagine a teacher reading your blog and then commenting on it,whether it be on his/her blog or on your tagboard and when you finally find out (god forbid! If you are a teacher *shudder* don't tell me!!!), you will have to censor your opinions and what you truly believe is yours, is no longer private but has free access. Its so suffocating! everything is an infringement of something else in this damn place! Is there no true freeedom? (well for all those who are about to say duh, let me stop u at the 'd' part and inject that it is a rhetoric question)


I feel extremely violated.


(and if you are a teacher,please do not even think about telling me!!! and no, I don't want counselling)


For all those who haven't watched Spiderman 2...


WHAT ARE YOU DOING READING THIS! GO GET TIX NOW!!!! (even if you are a teacher..)
It is absolutely brilliant. The emotional intensity and the anguish reflected cannot be surpassed. It truly reflects the torment of a hero who is torn between public service and his own life, knowing that when he can make a difference, he should but is unable to reconcile to the toll it takes upon him. And the beginning is sooo sad when he is misunderstood. But now that the ending is how it is, I wonder how well would they able to sustain the story. Would it just be a case of the usual struggle between good and evil? I hope not.

And denise is SUCH A PIG! haha.. jolyn too! they kept complaining how i spoilt the movie for them because firstly, when MJ tells Peter kiss me and doc octavious smooshes (made up word) through the window, I said He's coming! or some crap equivelent of that. I would actually acknowledge the allegation if not for the fact , THAT IT HAS BEEN PLASTERED IN THE TRAILER!!! AND NORMAL PEOPLE WHO WATCH TV WOULD KNOW THAT!!!


so


HA!


and secondly when MJ's boyfriend is announced, I whisper I bet that's MJ's boyfriend and I refuse to be blamed because it is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo obvious that duuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh it's her boyfriend. But because, they're deducuction skills is severely lacking, I am the hapless scapegoat.


I'm always wrongly accused and grossly misunderstood


(No thanks to the crap sms-s that are constantly sent to various people in my address book, curiously only limited to guys and more often than not with great professions of love)


If you're a teacher who is reading this who happens to know me and might be marking my JCT papers, please be nice.

oh god. i could just CHEERFULLY, with a big grin plastered on my face can
a) just kill myself and see heaven/hell much faster then my peers
b) kill some other extremely annoying people who are very very annoying and think they are not but just typing this makes me annoyed, that's how annoying they are
c) and they don't think they are annoying cuz they are too comfortably encased in their knowledge of not being annoying and know it all
d) just scream
e) or kill the annoying people
f) or kill other equally annoying people who think they are not annoying but merely knowledgeble, liposuction all of them and feed them to other annoying people who also think they are not annoying.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

annoyance should not be permitted

damn the digital gods! I know you're watching me!!!!!!!!!!!!! stop staring at me! i hate it when people stare at mE! go away!

Your Secondary School: Tanjong Katong GirlS'(they were very particular about the apostorphe)School

1.Nicknames in sec school: well, sighs. do not question
asthas, piscu, punching bag, potato sack,VASUD (thanks to nuha who has made into an art to shout it down my ear),vasud-toot-toot, vas,sudie, susu,sudz,vadudha(my niece..haha)

2.Sport you were into:
well sec 1 and 2 was badminton..haha.. it was like this religios thing..then sec 3 was hmm..can't remember..haha but i do remember PE and we played volleyball..needless to say, adeline and aimee would start screaming and running in opp directions, then Jolyn would be shrieking..haha..and anyone who got the ball beyond the net was the official spiker. oh yeah, soccer!!! there was this once either robert or gau or was it fatma...hmm. ok wadever... kicked it so high it went over to TKSS and this bunch of mats were so action, they had to flip it a few times and kick it over the tree instead of just passing it over.haha.we made alot of booing noise though.. sec 4 was touch rugby and NO RULES!!!!!!!!! haha.. which no one wants to play anymore..WHY!!!!

3. Had a gang of frens?
oh yeah.. every year..haha :)

4. Best subject?
recess and CME..cuz can talk alot..haha.. I guess it would be english and history cuz he didn't let anyone get less then an L1 or else he'd kill us.

5. Worst subject?
a-maths and e-maths.god.the pain.but i pulled through! :)

6. A teacher you owe life lessons to?
def may tan on what not to be.. haha.. mrs gaberiel!! mrs teo..haha.. mrs mar..maybe mrs moorthy in the tamil centre. oh man.UPTLC gave me a hell lot of life lessons..maybe tan ying..haha

7. A teacher you wanna kick in the ass?
we both mutually hated each other especially after I was the first girl in class to get scolded for talking in class..haha

**Describe**

8. Sec 1 year
kind weird..don't remember much other than the famous " are u an asean scholar" quip to kat.hated the tamil centre with a vengence.I was such a NERD!haha.god my belt was actually sewn!and OMG! I got detention!!! and it was such a major thing..sat outside the princie's office and everything. kinda still feel embarrassed about it.haha.and my god sat next to Fen who is like the only prefect in class..haha.. She used to whisper in class like she was in the espionage service even during class discussion. haha! so cute~ and teng yip!!!hehe~


Sec 2 year
went to Greece with the choir.was still a nerd but atleast my belt was unsewn!! also the year Jana left..hmm..got alot closer to Nuha who was so loud *grinz*..remember the failed chromotaography experiment which still got sent in and only worked during the fair where it was a raving success and the judges could not believe in the difference!!!haha. still hated UPTLC but to a lesser degree.haha cuz it was vimalanz(aka vim-bar) year and we used to strut in like 1 hr after lesson started and giggle throughout. Once,he caught gauz and my note abt lesbians and he read it. kinda pursued his lips and glared. we bet he didn't understand.haha.And it was the freakin year where they made all students with free periods to go to the library and study!! like helloo!!! and we had mdm khadijah who used to glare at us all the time and make us write our names down cuz she always assumed it was us who made so much noise! and well, we didn't! not all the time! and got so much more tt i can't remember ..haha.. loved it man.. and OMG..nuha!! siglap centre cute guys!! ello! if u still out there.. drop me a tag k!!! haha

10. Sec 3 year
Man! I was majorly apprehensive. Cuz I didn't know anyone at all! and was not that close to Gau.erm, didn't know many pple existed..haha..like shaan and AARGH denise will kill me so i shall not mention it.had no idea Ser Hian was a tv star! cuz I was from the other side of the block.. but had fun. My horror began when I realised i had to go thru Mrs C twice!! within the same span of two years.. since i was the only one she knew.. she picked me as chem rep..ugh..grew closer to pple thru the second half of the year..haha.. kelly and her madcap lab adventures..haha.like we used to copy each other's answers cuz we never paid attention and miss johara! she hated the lab!! and all her little quirks!!super amusing..all the postcards we used to write... and man kat and gang ..never been more grateful for u guys *grinz*..nuha too.. thanks if i never said it b4. and got closer to the tamil pple.. and it was the year of the TKG ICS..haha..which no one in my batch embraced *oops* eh! we still haven't got our tees!!!*AHEM* UPTLC was a major drag and omg tamil lit.. still get chills when I think about it..and AARGH.. guess i'm glad i stuck through it..NOT!haha.. ok a bit~ and the horror I suffered being surrounded by Man U fans~ lala, robert and fatma..and wei chen who didn care :P and attempted educating me in taiwanese pop culture and I in turn...er how to sing. which she never stopped doing!!!! got my f4 education thru her :)

11. Sec 4 year:
woah! where do I start! CK as form teach and he was so indifferent he let us pick our own seats..thus me gau and fatma were rejoined .. haha. we used to camp at parkway all the time and watch movies ALL the time. didn't feel like we were studying at all. was also the year that kinda knew hui xunz starbucks friends and I remember seeing this guy who looked like denise ALOT which gau disagreed with. all the daily trips to MP lib to study and the cocoa smuggling we used to do :P got closer to ana shaf and geet as well!!!! And the time where we kept sleeping during leson and all those trips to the com labs.. and the little ways we used to creat havoc in the library.. like shifting the plant in the centre, then mdm kadijah would come ambling over and accuse us and we would say no.. show us proof..haha and the time she accused me and gau of having a system where the other one would wake the other up.. and I was like "is it a crime to ask my friend a question?" and she kept watching us.. funny. and my god all the cleaning sessions that we used to have during history lesson.. that 4/5 and 4/3 used to hear.. haha.. all his "why is there dust everywhere ?!" and then he'll walk out..my god.haha.I loved our class cuz we were so slack together.. nobody gave a freak.. we were so cliquish but still bonded cuz we were so unbonded..My god..during lit..where it'd be so boring.cuz she was SUCH a bimbo..haha.. and our "bond" with 4/7 cuz we were the only 2 classes to do pure history in the geog infested level.haha. and chem lab where kelly and I were even worse off cuz we were too lazy too identify QA..haha..and my god the vaSHUdha...it used to kill me..hmm...and OMG..physics.. was such a rip roaring time.. cuz Tan Ying was dammned blur.. and such a sweet guy.. he used to give marks if your handwriting was big enough..or if u thought of using the formulae but forgot to..haah~and he used to quote page numbers for exams.. and his love for the lab which I HATED going to cuz it was dank and dark..physics experiments are sooo boring except this time, think it was the chapter on electricity and we were supposed to do some complicated thing on the board and get the buzzer going..and in our sleep induced haze..kelly and I smelt smoke and we asked everyone around us without realising it was our batteries were smoking..haha..wad a bunch of tootz we were~ such gd memories man.. :)and my god all the lit enrichments we had over the 4 years.. they were so fun.. like the royal australian shakepseare coming over and doing all these great poems..I can never forget the one "When I was twenty one" and the one where he forgot his line..haha!! and "Coco Cabana"

12. Your best friend was?
its a trick question that I'm not answering.. never had a particular best friend actually

13. Your worst friend was?
well, she wouldn't be my friend if she was that bad now would she?

.14. Cafeteria food that sucked?
Everyone said it was the western stall auntie but just couldn stop buying food from her.haha

15. Most hilarious school rule?
"Please wear school uniform at all times"
oh and the one where the prefects could eat in the den but we can't eat anywhere else other than the canteen..Its supremely irritating when they come out of the den loaded with biscuits and tell you to go back downstairs to eat your one lone FRY.
And the fact that you had to sew your belt the minute they caught you. and they actually made you go to the home econs room for that. how anal. but also because they knew you would not sew it.haha. but we ripped it out anyway.haha

16. Wore uniforms?
duh. it was a green pinafore that anyone could recognise.. but in retrospect, I wouldn't have wanted to wear a skirt. and the shorts are very comfortable

17. How was the prom?
fun actually.haha. remembered dancing like mad.. hugging everyone.. and mr connor feeding hafizah with a bottle.. and the god awful australian unknown singer..who couldn sing anyway.. we all went out to take pictures..haha

18. Who was prom king and queen?
no such thing as far as I can remember

19. Any achievements?
yeah.. part of the choir..all the SYF stuff.
oh and being part of the teacher's day play,rememeber gasping at the wrong part.haha.hmm..I guess you could say tamil debate..truly didn't deserve a trophy cuz I sat down after 1 min.. worst nightmare..hated tamil competitions.. just wasn good at it.and the sec4 debate com where we lost and it was painful cuz it was not faiR!!! sighs. and plus i stupidly left the window open and everything flew out cuz i didn't put a paperweight on it..sighs. won best floor speaker later though..and finally getting an A2 for e-maths!!!! and the completion of the yellow book..haha

20. Were you popular?
naah.. hmm knew nuha who was very popular..does that count?haha

21. Best song that reminds you of pri school?
oh god..all the boy bands man.. TAKE 5..haha.. they lasted for less than 2 songs... definitely BSB and "when the ligts go out" by 5ive, esp cuz it was so "cool" it was danced to.. and god..*groan* Spice girls...haha.. i remember viva forever..god..haha

22. Unforgettable pri school crush?
Dun think I had any hormones until sec 2..haha.. unbelievable huh?

23. Most embarrassing moment?
in primary school?!? must have blocked it all out..haha...I guess when I was new in Primary 3 and I really hated being there. and being a jr prefect

24.Memory you'd like to forget about sec school?
oh god..where do I start.. def the siglap centre one..haha.. super embarrassing..but like i said.. do drop me a tag..haha :)and oh god this one has to go first...the sec 1 anderson guy.. god wadz his name?! sheesh.. that was soo irritating!!!! and I had very immature friends who would never shut up.. and haha.. oh god.. at tuition when we met Linaz bf..haha..i was like a motor mouth..and the losing of the laptop definitely..and the time I shouted at nuha in front of everyone..AARGH so embarrassing.. and oh god, when she spit green tea on front of my pinafore I would have killed her!!!funny tho..hmm..and er, when ms tng read my good luck card to the choir before their SYF..so embarrassing and ugh.. mr yeo's yodelling..just cuz of one second!! and er, the time when I fell over slowly, when I was tipping back my chair during chem..my god..so embarrassing..haha..and all gau and fatma could do was gasp and point when I was on the floor and Mrs Chan asked "where's Vashudha..though I just saw her" and wei chen was just peering curiously over me..sighs..haha

25.Best memory?
oh god.ALOT.no way in hell could I go through everything..

26. Any regrets?
nope.. dun think so..well.. maybe a few..

27. Would you like your "future child" to attend your sec school?
why not?! unless of course he was a guy.. which then would pose a problem..haha

28. Were the bathrooms clean?
relatively but hell we never had toilet paper.. they were super dim though..

29. How were the lunch boys?
we had no boys. duh.

Song that would best describe your sec sch life?
Creed - my sacrifice..haha..actually almost all the rock songs you can think of.. there was LFO - everyother time which Lala could not stop singing..nickelbak and duh. matchbox 20. dido. Roswell!!!haha

What Planet Are You From?


this quiz was made by The Autist Formerly Known As Tim

fear me, idiots of the world!

10 Years Ago, I...

1. I was seven
2. I hated taking the school bus
3. remembered my brother correcting my future form teacher that grammar was not spelt as grammer
4. loved barney
5. had a disgusting chinadoll fringe -glares-


5 Years Ago, I...
1. was in sec 1...1/2/7 rocks!!!
2. sat next to samantha whom i wanted to kill cuz she was an idiot
3. was such a nerd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. got into a shitload of trouble which I repeat yearly
5. remember throwing a note to kat who sat two rows away and 'duh' got caught (It was a sail-in-the-air kind..)


3 Years Ago, I...
1. I went to a class wher I knew zilch
2. became closer to gau, ash and shaan
3. went to this disgusting tamil leadership camp which I woke Sumaya up for..haha
4. Thought my brother had the coolest set of friends when he was in AC
5. knew it was the return of the "manjula!!" haha


A Year Ago, I...
1. met my class and loved it mostly. And have this bunch of friends whom I would have never thought would be so
2. realised the perils of being an Indian in TJ
3. was so laid back I fell over alot
4. met Mr Thompson!!!!!! :D
5. told gau to go to aussie or that she would regret it :(


So Far This Year, I...
1. I stopped falling over
2. know I will miss my teenage years a hell lot
3. have really learnt alot...haha..
4. realised that being a leader is not just that easy
5. got back into touch with many friends whom I've been neglecting


Yesterday, I....
1. thought alot
2. felt bored
3. truly tried to to study
4. realised that I'm not meant to be in love
5. I know I still want to be seduced the Achilles-Brisiese way :D

Today, I ....
1. woke up and immediately bathed
2. realise I really have to do well for JCTs
3. miss my bro and kart
4. know its a "shit its sunday" feeling
5. know i'll laugh


Tomorrow I will...
1. erm yeah, study?
2. not touch chocolate
3. i dunno?! wad the hell.. do i look psychic?
4. not daydream
5. not get weepy when I listen to music