Tab Dump

Some interesting stuff from around the interwebs, aka LazyBlogging:

This is the kind of thing I think the internet was designed for. Beautiful.

The Carnival of Feminist Parenting.

A beginning annotated bibliography of Doubt.

This is EXACTLY what I think about the Harry Potter movies.

Speaking of which, these are the best damn interviews with the Harry Potter cast EVER. So lovely.

This makes me so angry I could cry.

An online gallery for the British Library? Yes, please.

John Hughes' teenage pen-pal recalls his correspondence.

Preschoolers: adding surreality to every waking moment.

This morning, the Hatchling was playing with a friend in the friend's backyard, which is dominated by a very large maple tree. "Oh, wookit," said the Hatchling, gazing fondly up the enormous tree trunk. "Monsters."

"Wow, there are monsters in that tree?" I reply. "Cool. How many monsters are there?"

"Dey up inda TREE, mama. Wookit. Dere's some bones, and dere's some bodies, and dere's some healthy snacks!"

Status updates I have considered putting on Facebook today

Elise has really had it.

Elise swears to god, if she hits one more red light she is going to hurt someone.

Elise is reaching the end of her tether.

Elise would sell her ovaries for a kid who sleeps and/or does not scream at pitches just below what only a dog can hear.

Elise is about to pull a Nora.

Elise would just like to be able to DRIVE somewhere ONCE without needing EARPLUGS to block the SCREAMING.

Elise is DONE. DONE, I tell you.

Elise would like to know just who she pissed off, so she can tell them she's sorry already!

Elise is getting her ass handed to her on a plate by two girls who can't read or use a toilet.

Elise wishes she was handling things better. Or at all.

Happiness is ...

1.) Taking the kids on a nice walk to a fun family event in the beautiful morning weather.

2.) Getting to see a great movie, on opening weekend, in 3D, with your favorite date.

3.) Having friends who are big enough suckers to agree to watch both your 3 year old and your 2 month old while you attend said movie. And who are awesome enough to cope with an infant freak out and live to tell the tale. (It is soooooooo nice having friends with kids the same age as yours.)

4.) Enjoying an impromptu pizza on the patio in the backyard of said friends' house, watching the kids run around wearing each other out while you enjoy a beer.

THAT is a good Saturday.

Random Tidbits for the weekend

1. The Sprout has decided to try on being a fussy baby for the last two days. The mellow thing is SO last week. Apparently. This is not contributing to a positive mental state in her mama, who is finding herself really, really, really looking forward to being a mother of two girls about three years from now.*

2. It is (finally) a GORGEOUS spring day outside, and what's more, I actually got out to enjoy it a little. Went to the plant store and got several nice perennials to put in the front yard, and a truckload of mulch. Was kicked out of the house to go on said errand by Mr. Squab on the theory that a little kid-free time amid flowers and sunshine would perk me up. And he was right, as he so often is.

3. I CANNOT BELIEVE that Adam Lambert didn't win American Idol. WTF, America? Was it the eyeliner that put you off? Or the fact that he has more talent in his manicured pinky than you have in your whole vanilla bourgeois body? Feh.

4. I will soooooo be watching Glee this fall. Cheesy? Hell, yes, but I was a big-time choir kid in high school and it's worth the cheese just for the trip down memory lane.

5. My 20th high school reunion is coming up this summer. How did THAT happen so fast? I keep getting requests to send my address to the organizers so they can send me the invitation. Which I guess I'll do, since I don't want to be anti-social, but y'all: there is NO WAY IN HELL I'm going to my 20th reunion. You don't have to go to high school reunions if you're still having the occasional anxiety dream about high school, right? That's my stand and I'm sticking to it.

6. I have officially decided that I would like to travel back in time to when your average upper-middle class family had a baby nurse to help take care of the kids until they go off to school. Possibly boarding school. Depends on when you ask me. Just thought you'd want to know that it's official.*

* It has been brought to my attention that I've tended, of late, to post updates that indicate a fairly stressed/depressed state of mind. Which, you're damn right I'm stressed! But not at a worrisome level, in part because I have a blog to vent on. So not to fret.

What you can get out and what you can't

Based on my personal experience in the last two days ...

Things you can get out of the sofa fabric:
- Big black streaks of marker (thank you Crayola washable markers)
- Spit up
- Dorito "cheese"

Things that you CANNOT get out of a three-year-old's hair after an outdoor playgroup:
- Dirt
- Tree seeds (those ones that look like rolled oats)
- Tiny pieces of mown grass
- Various seed pods

Seriously. I washed her hair for about 1/2 after we got home, and she still has miscellaneous yard detritus all over. Maybe next time I should scotchgard her ahead of time. It worked with the sofa.

Happy Earth Day

Three things:

1. Not to harsh your enviro-buzz, but check out this post by Kevin Drum. Really puts all that recycling you're so committed to in perspective, don't it? (Not that I'm going to quit recycling or anything. But perhaps some legislative oversight is in order, no?)

2. This is a damn good op-ed.

3. Go look at this blog, and crack up. I can SOOOO see the Hatchling doing something like this.

Now go do something tree-huggy.

The Final Countdown: T minus 2 days

1. The headcold rages unabated. In retrospect, purchasing stock in Kleenex about three months ago would have been a good move.

2. To be honest, if anyone said the phrase "the power of positive thinking" to me right now I would probably kick them in the nards, but there *are* some things making me happy right now, namely:
a) my new spring purse, courtesy Questionable. (The one on the left.) It is so springy and stripy. It defies the weather.
b) It's supposed to be almost SIXTY degrees on Monday! Sure, I'll be drugged up and in the hospital the whole day, but still!
c) Tonight, the Hatchling, after commanding her father to sit next to her on the sofa, sidled up to him, batted her eyelashes and said "Hey, baby."

3. I think I might be having the occasional contraction, mostly in the evenings the last three days. I say "I think" because I don't actually know what normal contractions or Braxton Hicks feel like. When the Hatchling was born, I had nothing in the way of contractions until I was induced, and lemme tell ya, Pitocin-contractions are undeniable. You KNOW you are having one of those. And then you KNOW you are getting an epidural. But this - it just feels kind of like a tightening, sometimes verging on crampy, not lasting or regular, just sort of unsettling and a pain in the ass. Or thereabouts. Thoughts from readers who've done this the natural way before? I go in for a regular monitoring appointment tomorrow so I'm sure they'll pick up on it if anything is going on.

Final Countdown: T minus 5 days

Daily Index:

Watching - American Idol. Because my brain is just that fried.
Eating - What have you got? No, seriously. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT.
Reading - Bridge of Sighs by Richard Russo. Because my brain isn't that fried. Although I can only manage about 10 pages before I fall asleep.
Wearing - only stretchy jersey-type fabrics. In XXL. Don't judge.
Hearing - the harmonious sounds of my almost-three-year-old daughter making up nonsense songs, repeatedly requesting to play with my iPhone or watch a "bideo" on the computer, and running/dancing around the living room with just her diaper on.
Cursing - the fucking SNOWSTORM currently raging outside my windows. Also the fact that the high tomorrow is supposed to be, like, 5 degrees. At least it's supposed to warm up again by the weekend.
Loving - that my long-suffering husband, when he comes home and I'm all pregnant-pissy-cannot-be-pleasant, instead of shooting me the evil eye gets on the phone and orders me my favorite take-out pasta and plays with the Hatchling to get her out of my hair.

Two Things

Item one - Conversation between me and the Hatchling this afternoon, as she's running around with her superhero "cape" on (a big silk scarf she ties around her neck):

Hatchling: I superhewwo!

Me: You are a superhero.

Hatchling: Fwy weawwy fast.

Me: You sure are flying fast. Go, go, go!

Hatchling (stopping and looking right at me): I BATMAN.

Me: You're Batman?!

Hatchling: Yeah, dat's wight. I BATMAN!!!!

Her father is so proud.

Item Two - I've been scanning in some old family photos just so I have them digitally, and I came across this one of me and my parents circa 1972. I'm not normally at a loss for words, but ... wow. Kind of explains a lot, doesn't it?

Gah. Busy.

Relatives in town.
Prepping for Kid 2.0.
(One month left. ACK.)
Trying to catch up on teaching stuff.
Would prefer to be sleeping, eating or peeing most of the time.

NO TIME FOR BLOGGING.

I will post a cute video tomorrow, I promise.

In the meantime, is it just me, or does "the Island of Sodor" sound a lot like it should be a locale in the evil part of Middle Earth? I mean, "Sodor" is kind of a creepy name, right?

OK. I'm going to take a shower, pee, and go to bed. May your evening be equally satisfying.

Random Tidbits

1. How much did you love Obama's press conference tonight? Mr. Squab turned to me and said, "It's weird having a president who ... like ... actually knows what he's talking about and answers the questions that are asked, with no creepy chuckles or smirks." Indeed. Me likey.

2. Why, Birmingham, WHY????

3. How psyched am I that I can finally sync my Google contacts and calendar on my iPhone? Way too psyched.

4. The Hatchling's two new favorite phrases: "Oh, MAN!" and "Oh my god!" It's like having a pint-sized teenager in the house, except for the diapers and the spontaneous displays of affection.

Will blog for beach house

What's that you say? It's Friday and where the heck have I been all week? FREEZING MY ASS OFF, that's where. Jesus tap-dancing Christ, it's been cold this week. Like, cold enough to kill you in a matter of minutes. Or, if you're me, cold enough to make you want to kill someone. Every year there are one or two weeks like this in winter, weeks where it's so cold you start to think longingly of those days when it was a balmy 25 degrees. I *always* hate these weeks, but this year my hatred is particularly deep and abiding. Maybe it's the pregnancy, maybe it's trying to get not only myself but also my cold-hating toddler sufficiently bundled up before walking the fifty feet to the car (and let me just be up front: when it's -20 degrees outside, NO amount of bundling is sufficient), maybe it's the anticipatory dread of having to do this next winter with TWO kids ... I don't know exactly, but I am just DONE with this cold crap. Human beings are not meant to live in this climate! I think this must be added to my REJECT list for the year. Cold: I reject it.

In other news, drink some coffee, already.

This just in: The birds at our birdfeeder are retarded.

We don't get the pretty, showy birds at our feeder; it's more of a proletariat smorgasbord of miscellaneous sparrows and chickadees. Which, no biggie, they gotta eat, too, but sweet fancy MOSES, are they stupid. Here's the pattern:

1. Assemble in branches of fir tree adjacent to feeder.
2. Swoop down en masse and lustily attack the feeder and often each other for about 5 seconds.
3. Get startled by the, um, NOTHING that is walking by, and feverishly flock back to the safety of the fir branches. For another 5 seconds.
4. Remember, hey! There's food down there! For free! We should look into that!
5. Repeat steps 2-4 ad infinitum.

It is seriously giving the cat whiplash. Not being much of a bird person, I'm sure there could be some rational explanation for this, you'll excuse the pun, flighty behavior, but for the life of me I can't figure out what it would be.

Good Riddance, 2008!

Looking back, I have to say that 2008 was not exactly a banner year. We had a break in and robbery, both cars broke down and had to be replaced, lots of pregnancy-related ill health, grandma going crazy and then dying - not to mention the economy going to hell and all kinds of political craziness. There were good things, of course - getting back in touch with old friends, my sister having her first baby, the Hatchling getting more and more interesting and fun(ny), satisfying projects around the house, etc. But overall, I'm not really sad to see the year go, you know?

Lately I try not to make uber-specific New Year's resolutions on the principle that they just make me feel like a wanker when I don't achieve them, but here are my sort of generalized ones:

1. Write more. In any area (blogging, academic, personal, etc.)
2. Keep working on being a more chill, zen-type person instead of the anxiety-ridden freakazoid that my genetic background wants me to be.
3. Find ways to enjoy being healthier.
4. Learn to say no without feeling guilty.
5. Breathe deeper and enjoy the ride.

Frankly, I'll be happy if I can achieve (1) at any level. The rest is just gravy. How about you?

Oh, and a little post-Christmas cheer: here's the Hatchling opening presents on Christmas Eve.

Opening Presents - Yo Gabba Gabba (Xmas 2008) from Squab on Vimeo.

Photo Dump

Just uploaded a whole lotta pix, and thought I'd share some of the best. Happy Monday.

Here's the red velvet cake. It's not bakery-shop pretty, but you'd eat it, right?


Here's what it looked like on the inside. I shall be blogging the recipe later.


I've been waiting a LOOOOOOONG time for the Hatchling to have enough hair for this:


Of course, she looks pretty cute with it down, too.


I feel like this should totally be the cover for a toddler alt-folk album or something.

Items of Note

1. I have officially entered the waddling and stretchy-clothes-only stage of pregnancy. That's about two months earlier than last time, for those of you keeping track.

2. Nine disturbingly misogynistic old print ads - can I just say: Whoa. The first one, in particular, I don't even UNDERSTAND.

3. It's official - atheist countries are nicer than we are.

4. WANT. (via Scott.)

Distractions

Here are some things to distract you from those election day jitters:

1. Take this quiz on the Obama and McCain campaigns. I got 19 out of 30. Can you beat me?

2. Check out this cool NYT gadget. I love the differences between the Obama and McCain words.

3. Lookit my new nephew!! Born this very morning at 9 am. Welcome to the world, Jackson Hunter Chemay!

Random Tidbits of a Hatchling

1. Today, we were out running errands, and as we neared the cashier the Hatchling spotted a Lindor raspberry truffle and indicated that she must have it. I thought that would be OK, but I told her we had to wait until we paid for it for her to eat it. This, of course, was met incredulity. She was supposed to WAIT for a whole TWO MINUTES to eat her candy? What was I, INSANE? Anyway, she was starting to kick up a real fuss when we got to the check-out counter so I asked the nice man to ring up the truffle first, which he kindly did, and then handed it to the Hatchling, saying, "Here you go, honey." Whereupon she immediately quieted down, and her eyes got huge, and she said, very dramatically, "Ohhhhh, BEAUTIFUL candy."

2. Lately, whenever the Hatchling trips or stumbles or falls or whatever, she'll ask in a very concerned voice, "Are you OK?!?!" then you have to say "I'm OK, are you OK?" and then she says "Yis."

3. One of the Hatchling's favorite words lately is "perfect," which she pronounces "poofitt." As in, "Oh, nummy cawwots! Poofitt!"

4. The other day, the Hatchling was sitting by me on the sofa in the middle of a two-year-old tantrum about god knows what. I was looking at her, waiting for her to be done, and right in the middle of her crying, with tears streaming down her cheeks, she looked back at me, reached out her index finger, and went "BEEEEEEP" on my nose.

So cool

I really, really love this.

Just keep clicking.