hey mommy! remember.....

just a little update for "the record" on F's intellectual development.

F now has full sentences and a huge vocabulary. he is a bit shy when he first meets people but quickly warms up to them and will talk freely after he is comfortable.

F is definitely an extrovert and enjoys other peoples attention but he is also happy to play by himself and does have some social anxiety when we go into gatherings with lots of people. also he loves his pre-school but several mornings when I drop him off he gets very upset (does this to himself by sort of hyperventilating in anticipation of my departure). of course this is heart-breaking for me but then when I pick F up at end of day he is happy happy guy and won't stop talking about how much eh loves his school....who knows.

F is telling stories now and always discussing memories with us. he learned how to say "once upon a time...." he plays make-believe with his cars and animals and trains. his fav toys are matchbox cars, planes, rockets, his wooden train set with tracks, and some foam play swords and his soccer balls. he is very excited about pirates and treasures and loves to play silly treasure-seeking and hide&seek games. he says X marks the spot and talks about mystery ghosts, alligator lakes, and "bees" and says we have to find the treasure on the map!

he really has little interest in stuffed animals except for 3 toys: a dog that looks like Kaia (which he names Kaia), a calico cat which he named Yofi and a gray dog which he named "cookie the dog". he says that other toys are too "fuffy and muffy" and "they are not good".

his fav shows are max & ruby, phinneus & ferb, diego, little einstein and wubzy. fav movie the last few weeks is Bolt the dog and veggietales pirate movie.

his signature thing while we are driving somewhere is to carry on a continuous conversation about what he remembers....and asked if me & his dad remember too.

hey mommy! remember when we went to the airport? and we went on the red train and the school bus and the red train.....

hey mommy! remember when I went to the doctor and he saw a ladybug in my ear?

hey mommy! remember when I fell in the lake cuz I was squirting and I got all wet and the n you wrapped me in a warm towel and then my friend fell in the water too?

(yes this did happen-the kids were standing on a breakwall next to the lake squirting big water gun thingys. lots of parents were watching at the time and the water was not very deep but F lost his balance and fell in up to his neck- we were all very scared but everything was OK). of course a few lessons were learned (lifejackets at all times near deep-ish water even if the kids are not swimming or boating). F was already warey around water/pools (which was good) but now I am a bit worried that he will develop a unhealthy fear of the water. we shall see...

in the car as we drive home from school F always has lots of storied to tell about what he did at school w his friends. he says it in a train-of-thought-sing-song sort of way...."we read stories about alligators in the jungle and went for wagon rides and played w duplos and went in the tree house and I played with cwara (clara) and zaryn, and olof and zaryn and ms aretha and ms lisa..."..on and on and on SOOO CUTE! he also wants to talk about where daddy is....and what are we having for dinner. if I say "pizza" he yells " YEAH!, mommy can we have macaroni & cheese pizza for me and 'mato pizza for daddy?" I say yes and the F says "becuz mac-ey & cheese pizza will make daddy cry and 'mato pizza wil make him all better".

we started a family garden in the extra lot where my Gma Nancy used to have her garden. we are hoping to have large enough harvests to provide for my gpa and also give veggies/fruits out to other extended family members. we spent last weekend prepping the soil and adding manures and Bill & the guys cut down a dead tree (yes that was overly exciting but everyone survived!). F loves gardening and played in the dirt with his tractor toys and helped sow some seeds and plant some flowers.

F's fav make-believe games are pirates and animal rescuing.

we finally saved enough money to have a fence built in our backyard. this will be incredibly wonderful to contain F-he runs away into the front yard otherwise and I could never just sit on the deck and relax! we also have a windy backyard so our table umbrella was always blowing over and so we are also having a pergola built over part of the deck so hopefully this helps provide some shade and a wind block.

F's cuteness & winter's last days

we have survived. made it thru the wilderness of a bad evil winter. the robins have come back, the green grass peeks thru the withered brown leaves. 7 sunny days in a row increase vitamin D levels and lift moods.

we are not left unscarred. no one is. the economy and some part of society is ruined. people have done things and said things they swore they never would. fear and anxiety have crept into everyone's lives and taken hold. this makes me sad.

everyone seems haunted and a bit warey. haunted by uncertainty, haunted by loss of faith in a system that maybe once seemed a sure thing. afraid to be hopeful. afraid.

there is an overwhelming and pervasive sense of futility.

I make it a daily act to drive this feeling away from myself and my family/friends. I will not let it take hold in my life. I am trying to hold onto joy and seeking beauty in all small moments. I am trying to stay centered while I continue to seek balance that I am now realizing is not something that can be gained but rather is something one must come to know. so that is what I am now working toward. I will not find balance-I will know it and live it as much as possible this day forward.

SOME CUTE F'isms to remember!

as F & daddy are doing dishes together, daddy asks F " where do you think the water goes after it goes down the drain?" F stops, thinks and replies "it goes down to where all the seahorses are."

F came home from preschool recently an announced "no pow pow at peachtree" (of course, I say to myself- that's just great. that means F has been pretending to shoot things/kids and light-saber things/kids at preschool; this is a behavior we do not perpetuate at home but some how F figured it out. oh well, more of this ahead of us I am sure.

hanging out with family in the hot tub at my parent's house, F was full of information for us this included the announcement that "puppies live in piles in the forest" that his "penis is going swimming" and also "it is a windy chilly day" (and it really was an awful gray blustery cold and sleety day but we were cozy in the hot tub!)

at aunt S's house, F found aunt S's cute fluffy white stuffed animal polar bear toy. F looked up at us and asked "where is his bottom?, where is the hole?"

F often stops doing whatever, gets very quiet and wide-eyed and calls "mommy, there are monsters over there-I'm scared". OK.....um. where did he get that? we don't talk about ghosts or monsters.

as we are on the way to F's doctor appt to with an ear, nose, throat doc to check F's chronic ear infection issues, F announces to his dad & I that "we are going to the doctor so he can look at the bees in my ears"

when we are at home in the evening, F regularly says in a forlorn voice with a faraway look, "I want to go home". whenever I hear this I sort of catch my breath and my heart skips, then I ask F, "where is home?" and F says "right here mommy this is our home, this is my house".

when I hear this answer I am relieved but also a bit disturbed. is he remembering our old house? or is he feeling sad and this is the only way he knows how to express it? either way it makes me deeply sad to know my dear little 2 yr boy is already experiencing a vague, indescribeable sense of loss that he does not know how to express any other way than to year to go "home". weird.

joyful morning sunshine

here is a moment in my life I want to remember.

sunny cold snowy february sunday morning. in my bed-lazy morning and no reason to jump out in a hurry or have an alarm clock. I wake and see that B & F are still asleep so I start reading my book.

they sleep for another half hour or so then F starts waking up.

he sleeps between B&I-usually crawls into our bed sometime between 1 and 5am depending on the night. sometimes he wakes us up when he arrives, clumsily falling between us bumping into pillows or body parts, sometimes crying he is scared, sometimes he is a quiet mouse and we don't know he has arrived.

as F stirs he touches my arm-caresses it really and then suddenly flops over, eyes still closed and touches B's face as if searching for something (F' eyes still closed) then F flops his arm over and touches my arm-now he has one hand on my arm and the other on his dads arm. then F smiles in his sleep/barely awakeness.

this makes me smile in my heart and maybe brings a tear to my eye. when F was a baby or a smaller toddler just over 1 yr he would do something similar-he would lay in bed between B & I in such a way that he was making contact with both of us either with his feet or arms. I guess it was comforting, reassuring for him. whatever it was-it made me so happy, real true pure happiness unflavored by any expectation or experience. just happy.

that is how I feel again this morning. true white happiness to see F between us, body contact with both of us, a sweet small sleeping smile on F's face. his beautiful 2 yr old skin. his perfect lips, messy floppy hair. his fuzzy dinosaur pj's that say chomp chomp.

bed is warm, cozy, soft light, the sun is streaming between the curtains. then F opens his eyes and says "mommy, mommy, mommmy....mommy" in such a surprised, searching, earnest way-not sad or scared just happy mommy-searching. I say "I'm here baby". he says "mommy, you came back!" again earnest, thrilled, joyful. I say- "where was I" he says " you were in the barn feeding the horses."

how wonderful. what a dream. what a beautiful child. what a lovely morning. then B grumbles a low sleepy laugh at F's comment.


more silly toddler bad grammar but cute.

ok that is all I am going to say.
"what her got?"

"I can't want that" (meaning I DON'T want that)

"it certainly is"
F's response to something you say that he agrees with

"I'm so proud of you"
F says this as he cups his little hands around my face

"no i'm busy"
something F often says when he does not want to have his diaper changed. alternatively when asked if he has pooped and needs a diaper change (which he obviously has per the nasty smell), he says "no it's just pee"

"under the seed"
F phrasology for bathtub playtime with toys that go under the sea

"you're my best friend"
spontaneous proclamation by F to me, his dad or random stuffed animals

"she's my favorite dog"

"it's christmas eve"
an exclamation that F says on sunny morning when there is new fresh snow

"he's a smart guy"
a comment made by F after the doctor looked in his ears

OK OK evil winter...I give up. you WIN!

oh evil winter fairy-please have mercy on us poor michiganders. PLEASE!

I usually refuse to bow to the pressure of the michigan winter-I will not be one of the complainers, I will not complain. I will stoically go on day to day, week to week waiting for spring. and when those first shoots of green grass sprout I breathe a sigh of relief and promptly forget the gray cold days of yore.

But not this year-old man winter is kicking our asses! he is not playing nice. there was not a single day in january that was above 32 degrees F. many were actually well below 10 degrees F. This is insane. there was feet of snow (still is at least 1 ft). the streets have not been plowed so the subaru has actually been ESSENTIAL not just a nice bonus. the heating bill has been outrageous (in fact it kind of made me barf in my mouth when I paid it this month).

winter needs to go.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year-here's to holding our breath in 2009!

God help us if 2009 is not better than 2008......to all my friends I wish you luck, love, prosperity, hope, hugs, money, good health, and community.

here are some holidays cards and random photos from this Xmas season

Bill, Sarah, Finley 2008 card

Peak Creative Media Holiday card 2008....a bit somber, I guess this reflects the reality (especially for businesses) as 2008 closes-good riddance. what a contrast to the card that PCM sent last year-see below next image/link

Peak Creative Media Holiday card 2007-I guess life did not seem quite so bleak long ago back in 2007! haha

here is the link to the action-animated version of the PCM 2007 holiday card

3 doggies Xmas card from 2007. Goodbye Beethoven we loved you very much thanks for being a great pet dog

Christmas Eve 2008 with the Burns family!

Burns Xmas tree 2008

beautiful mom and sister hannah

Daddy Mike and lil' Konrad smiley baby

Finley and his triplet cousins-this is going to be crazy as they get older! OMG!

big boys & little boys love RC cars!

Richardson family Xmas party Dec 20th 2008

more fun with balls!

fun with balls!

yes-finley you really do have to share with your cousin sometimes

fuzzy robes for Xmas-thanks mom!

toddler in balls-so much fun

Triplets in balls-3X the fun

Oh the merry Huber triplets (and mom & dad too)

intense boy play with jeep

RC jeep-Finley is in love

toddler Finley update-Green Yofi & Daddy's dump truck

Finley is full-on talking....and making us laugh! this is a laundry list-type update of everything I can remember that he has been saying lately. as I think of more I will update this post for the sake of posterity...and eventually Finley's baby-toddler scrapbook that I hope to finally create in 2009 (ha).

Fin is very gentle and compassionate with his baby cousins and baby friends- he greets them with excitement and knows to touch them carefully.

otherwise Fin is a ball of energy and happiness-a very joyful, cheerful, happy child. still very intense-moving all the time but not bad or malicious at all-just very smart, astute, and observational. he thrives off one-on-one interaction and loves to be engaged with questions or playtime with puzzles, books, and blocks, and toppling block towers and playing pretend cooking with his kitchen. he is a giggley kid and very loving-he gives really great hugs (he often says "hugs" when he does it) and kisses and "i love you's". he is a complete and total joy. not difficult at all, just wonderful. he is social and not shy so he is usually the life of every party whether it is with kids (playdate that Fin LOVES) or adults (mom & dad's boring friends without kids:). he loves parties and can't sit still no matter where we go (certainly not at church or something-christmas eve mass was not the easiest... for him or us!)

4-5 word sentences in september, 8-9 word sentences in october and november. paragraphs by Christmas. still can't say "L's" or "R's" very well but he is spot on with all other letter pronunciations and of course-always right with intonations (all questions end with escalating pitch and usually volume)!

in july 2008- at our Ypsi house: the high school band marches throughout the neighborhood and everytime Fin hears it he gets so excited! He yells "mommy stomach!" (which means music!) and Fin woudl insist that we go stand in the front yard to watch the band march by.

then in august/september "stomach" turned into "muse-kik" and then by october 2008 he started saying "music" properly. it was kind fo sad to hear him lose his cute baby word for it.

copying everything we say and coming up with some very funny weird statements that we definitely don't say!! he must learn these things from his friends or teachers at school or tv shows or imagination-whatever-it is funny.

"yummy in my tummy" as he rubs it.
"hmmm thats goot (good)" as he smacks his lips and belly.
"mommy my tummy is grumbly" (this means he is either hungry, full, or not feeling well interchangeably-very confusing for mom)

"its the stadium" declared on way to school in the morning when we drive past the stadium....

"its daddy's dumptruck!" also declared on way to school when we pass the moving truck owned by the Bouma realestate group (they offer this free to their customers and we took advantage of this offer 3 weekends in a row when we moved houses-so Finley eventually concluded that it was his "daddy's" "dump" truck.)

our brown cat nick-named brown kitty (real name Bastet, AKA baby) is afraid of Fin and runs away whenever she sees him and only comes back out from hiding after he goes to bed at night, however every once in a while she will decide to check Finley out or walk around the house during the day-and whenever Fin sees her he gets excited and screams "bwown kitty" which terrifies her even more. however one afternoon when he saw her, Fin said "yook mommy, its green yofi" this made Bill I laugh so ard. we figure that he could not remember the name brown kitty but he knew that her name had some sort of color in it-and he remembere yofi's name so he called brown kitty-"green yofi"!! :))

"mommy are you in a bad moon (mood)?"

"come on guys"

"hello ever-body"

"no, no way"

"let's cwuse (cruise)"

" hi yub you" ( I love you)

"fairy cwismas" (merry christmas)

"no thats dangous" (dangerous)

"no pwobem (problem)"

"hecaca" (helicopter)

"oh yook at the pitty yites" (look at the pretty lights) referring to christmas lights on houses which he loves to see.

"yeah there's Finyeey's house and pitty yites" "mommy can I touch 'em?"

"mommy make the garage work" (meaning he wants me to open or close the garage door)

"oh yisten-is that an animal? a sheep?" he randomly hears things that he thinks are "animals" or "monsters" or "bees"? hillarious! when he makes this exclamation he usually cups his hand behind his ear (as to hear better or something?) weird...where did he learn that?

all the time, everyone and everything he asks over and over...."whats your name?" or "whats hers name?" "whats this?" (in place of the question-where are we-which apparently he has not yet learned to say)

he says "finny burn" or "fuh burns" or "finwee"(really fast and you can hardly understand it but he says his name!

"mommy sarwa", "daddy Bill" "kaia" (he says this perfectly) and then declares "kaia is his fabrit (favorite) dog"

"too itchy" "too slippery" "too bumpy" all learned from a fav book about a mouse that says things are "too.....whatever

when asked if he has pooped (b/c we smell nasty poop smell)....Fin says "no it's pee" or "no its dirt" or "no not Finley Burns, its a ghost" among other excuses to get out of having his diaper changed which he still hates.

when told that he smells like a stinky elephant (by Bill), Finley replies, "no I smell like a stinky camel"

after Fin has been crying and upset or hurt (little owies or ouchies), after we give him a hug or a kiss or cookie (yes really), he always states quickly with a satisfied expression "I feel better, much better"

yelling!! "MOMMY, I NEED SOY MILK!"

September: counting random numbers and identifying colors rather randomly. favorite foods cheese, grapes, and hotdogs (much to my chagrine). fav toys are his "bike" (3 wheeler trike from Gma & Gpa Richardson for birthday), wooden trains and tracks, blocks, matchbox cars, and dinosaurs and little farm animals that go into a barn. Fav tv shows are sesame street (elmo's world), caillou and lil' Bill and ratatouille movie. fav book is "elmo's blanket" with little cardboard flaps that he turns over to "find" the missing items (eg elmo's missing blanket). also Good Night Moon book is loved as well as the Bun Bun goes to bed. also major obsession with Madagascar movie which he calls "animals (ammos)"

October: identifying colors specifically and correctly-all of them even "blue-green" which is a favorite of his. fav tv show is now dragon tales and Wonder Pets (sadly, excessive watching has occurred). fav toys are now magnetic drawing pad (from Georgia) and stuffed animal kitty and all airplanes of any kind, obsessively, particularly after daddy went on an airplane and so did mommy,daddy & Fin for a trip to san fran. fav food is "cereals and milk"

when daddy went on business trip Finley kept asking "where's daddy? is he driving around and around on an airplane? in the sky? around and around?" well I guess so....that is probably how it seems to a 2 yr old.

November: counting and saying numbers in correct order (mostly) up to 14 or 16. often repeats 7 (eg 1,2,3,4,5,7,7,9,10,11,12,14). now sings wonder pets theme song....when show is on or randomly whenever he gets in mood to sing. now develops obsession with soy milk (vanilla) and wants that all the time.

Dec 2008: he can sing his ABC's-all the way thru...except instead of saying "now I know my abc's next time won't you sing w me" he says "no by no by n me me next time sing me"

he sings abc's in the car as well as some mixed-up mash-up of abc, twinkle twinkle little star, baba black sheep, and jingle bells...it is pretty damn hillarious.

Fin also yells Arriba and vamanos (he learned this from Go Diego and Dora the explorer-are we bad parents for allowing him to watch that show...maybe but oh well) when we are driving as well as asks me... "mommy, are we ready to race?" and when he sees lines of cars turning left he asks "mommy are those racing cars" and when the light turns green he yells "go mommy go!"

"mommy, wanna watch go diego!" (again, cringing as parent but reluctantly I turn on the TV...-I don't want to know what this says about me or Finley...)

in fact as of the last 2 weeks or so, Fin has had a fascination with "outer space" and the "purple planet" (both from Dora) and "caillou's rocketship". so he says that all planes are "spaceships" (stated with a deep growly voice followed by a whooshing noise of the ship taking off) and spaceships going "into the station" and "flyin in space"

Fin was so lucky to get a giant cardboard rocketship from Gma & Gpa Richardson and G,M, & H) for Xmas gift! It is big enough for him to play inside-even with a friend or two. its cool!

for Xmas Fin also got an awesome RC jeep (from K&K) and blow-up ballpit (from L&M). all gifts were very well received and played with excessively. however he was cared (we tried not to laugh) by a wiggly-woogly-gooey ball (from aunt K-who thought it would be cool...and it was-except for the part that Fin was scared of it! :)

Fin loves Gma Joy's chicken-noodle soup and muffins and chows down everytime her and Papa Bob visit for Gparent day. There have been several fun Gparent days with Gma & Gpa Burns during the past few months- they have a great time playing cars and reading books and singing and making drawings (Fin uses both hands at the same time to color with 2 crayons).

Fin has recently started to eat chicken randomly at meals (it must be dipped in ketchup) but we are thankful he is getting some meat (finally)

Fin is now very good at talking on the phone to people...and will even listen to what they are saying back to him.

he is now behaving himself much better at restaurants (there were a few bad months from april-october where we pretty much had to ask for the check as soon as we ordered the food). Bill discovered that he could download some short cartoon movies to his iPhone and that Fin loves to hold the iPhone and watch the shows-this wonderful invention allows us to extend our meals in restaurants for an extra 10-30 minutes! brilliant.

Fin & I have been going to mom & toddler yoga on wednesday mornings-we have so much fun. he doesn't do much "yoda" and instead runs around like a little wild man-and stacks the yoga blocks into towers (then karate kicks them over) and pulls all the yoga mats off the rack and unfolds the yoga blankets (then hides in the blanket pile) and gets other kids in trouble BUT randomly he will stop and pay attention to what the instructor is saying or what the moms and the other kids are doing and will suddenly decide to do a pose (he likes down dog and moon toe) or participate in an activity (eg ring around the yogi or pretend to be a frog jumping). no matter what, I love this time with Fin-it is freeform with a bit of one-on one and very good for us to do together since the rest of the week is always so busy.

bedtime is tough for us most nights-he fights it and it takes about 30-45 min with multiple visits from mom & dad to get Fin to go to sleep.

Fin still naps for about 1.5-2h most days (always at school and usually naps on days off-weekends).

still sleeps in car (we do not have DVD player in car except on long trips more than 2 or 3h)

Fin loves his new house now. he loves his room and his big boy bed and his aquarium (in his room), particularly the shrimp and starfish which he loves to show off to people when they visit our house.

Fin still runs into our bedroom most nights and slips into our bed sometime after 2 or 4am but this is fine b/c we don't have to go downstairs to get him anymore (what a relief). mornings are good- busy but good. we have a routine now and Fin is usually in a good mood so that helps alot.

he loves "preschool" (that's what he calls it) and thrives in the montessori environemtn of routine and selfplay/teaching. the kids go outside alot and Fin loves playing on the playstructures and slides.

Fin has enjoyed sledding and "helping" his dad use the snow shovel to clear the sidewalk. he likes to be pulled in a sled and is always concerned about whether mommy is wearing her snow shoes or not. he laughs and giggles when Kaia tunnels through the snow and rolls around in it.

here are some random photos

bathtime baby Keeley-so precious

more water fun time in summer 2008

Goodbye dinner for Caitlyn and Fin is just a blur he is moving so fast

Finley loves water in the summer

Finley and daddy get the sillies at a restaurant

so awesome to finally visit the Donovans and meet little miss baby Keeley

playin' on DNA in Berkeley CA!

Fin & uncle Matt go kayaking

end of summer at GrandHaven

jumping on the mats at school

being silly with school friends

Fin in the classroom learning cutting foods

more fun at school

fin at preschool

YOFI is found!!!

yeah! can't believe it but we found yofi. as of this tuesday afternoon I had pretty much lost hope- he had been gone 5 days and we had no sign of him and no idea what had happened.

then tuesady night when I was making dinner I had a weird feeling and I insisted that we go for a family walk-right then in the middle of dinner prep. I just had this feeling that we needed to go NOW and look for yofi some more. Bill wanted to walk to the right-we usually go this way b/c it leads to a park. but I had the feeling we should go left. and then about 10 houses down the road, Bill spotted Yofi strolling down the sidewalk! I could not believe it. when he saw us he just did his usual flop over and roll around on someones driveway. he looks fine-a little skinny and has some burrs in his fur but otherwise perfectly fine!

he is such a jerk but I am so happy to have him back!