haiz....i been having a bad week since the day i saw IT...
Sunday night: started feeling bad abt smth..nt sure wat either

Monday : me having to wake up for toilet trip..then i saw smth..i not sure why..but i just seem so troubled abt it...may not be anything la..but yea..i cant go back to slp after seeing it..

Tuesday : got bad news from my friends abt the project..and anw..we did up some of the panels that were not there in the softwares..but after meeting with the supervisors in the evening, the other supervisor said that the panels should all be in the software oredi!! darn~!

Today : its the msot bad luckday of mine out of the 3 days..i was nearly late for school, nearly fell down in the mrt..my msn hang just at the crucial period...but oh nvm, i think i can drag on for a while for that msn crucial thingie..hmm the only thing thats better is that my Hardware group managed to try & did smth out for the project in school
i missed my Zgd for tml =(( cos of some already reserved table lunch...i am so sry..i dowan thsi to happen today too =( i did the first part of the thing and i rly feel that i shud be responsible enfu to carry on..but its just some family matters that i cant make it! urgh~! wat saddenedz me most is that while i was trying to find for another photog..i heard mum saying "tsk tsk..u go to this extent for ur friend.." damn angry lor..then i just replied her say "this isnt as wat u said..i call it being responsible..i did the starting and i feel i have to end it" though am not feeling vry well..i just have to say those..and yea..i nt sure if she understands but anw, she didnt say anything after that

Oh and i cant go to the chalet this sat!! ='( why do u owaes think that i cant take care of myself...how i wish uni life arrive soon

haiz....hope it doesnt affect me too much...why it owaes hafta happen at the wrong time..not sure if this wud be a gd/bad news..as for previous times..it used to be whole-ly bad thingies as it turns out bad in e end anyways...

hope i noe wat i am troubled also anyways....*bleah~

hmmm bad news or good news first? =)

hmm i think most ppl wud wana hear the good news first eh..i just got a letter from school asking if i wana join the Higher Engineering Mathematics module for the next sem....should i go for it...hehehe..i think i wana go for it...no matter wat course i wud be takin in the Uni..be it continuing my engineering or go into photography or media....
and another thing..one of my friend workin in NuS is creating website for his school..and asked me to be one of the models cum photog...hahahahahah...was kinda surprised...but too bad i end school at 530 everyday now...sianz..

bad news.....i have been doing blunders today!!! i donoe wat happen but i think it is happening to me again~!!! die die~
haiz.....
___________________________________________

am i such a failure?!!?!??! haiz....but i dont feel like giving up as yet..unless~

sign off
~confused smoki

anyone can tell me what Life is ?!? haix....nah..i trying not to know anything about it...but i would so much wana noe wats it generally....maybe i should meditate for the answer ? =P

kinda hate & love it to be alone...hate as it would trigger my brain to think of many many many stuffs.....love cos u wud be able to feel the happiness & sorrowness & learn from them as u go along...

haix~

tdy is the starting of TP grad ceremony 2007.....seeing most of them in joy and heard some of their successful stories, many thoughts swam across my mind..

how i wish i can get an award out of TP..however, i think my CCA points already hinder me to do so =/ and hope i can do well for my current yr3.1 and yr3.2 sems....saw 2 articles posted on the TP site about a few ppl' success stories, and they got 20+ AD and GPA is like 3.8, 398 !!! thats such a WOW!! haix...i am currently only 3.7 and still a yr to go..haix..
went home with a fren this evening and chatted a while..and i guess am currently having 3 routes of lives in mind =)
1. continue my engineering life : i hope to get into NTU to continue my engineering course...however, i thought...we need to strive hard & work till ard age of 30+ or 40 or so in order to lead a gd life...
2. photographer : i hope to get into NTU to study this profession..i thought for this too..its either u have the name, or u don't...but yea..hope to continue my current media line..kinda liking it ;)
3. air steward : well..i noe this sounds odd...but it rly crossed my mind when i saw some ppl gg for the interview during the career fair @ TP earlier this yr..and i'll be able to get 3 birds with a stone..getting gd pay, able to roam abt the world & continuing my photos too!!

hmm anw..i just got the sudden urge to really study Jap again~! ;) i am trying my best not to let my time go wasted everyday i returned home from school..

just got this from my friend and it happento be one of the song that i like too..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pK3FBZ73rH4&mode=related&search=

yay..we got all the softwares for our project at least to be starting..stayed up in school to connect them up..and still did not succeed cos still got some softwares are yet to be registered...haiz~!!!

today's horoscope & zodiac sign stated in ZaoBao newspaper...hmm shud i say its spot on on me...haix....

rabbit : dont be entangled by ur emotions, or it will affect u & ur luck
capricorn : patience is ur greatest ability, dont give up..care from loved ones, made u feel warm..shop the book store and recharge urself..

well..i hafta translate over..haha..hmmm maybe nt all spot on? but got some maybe ba
_____________________________________________________

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and those who have showering so much care to their loved ones =)

upon reading today's Sundays Times C4, it really made me thin back and made me broke into some tears..sometimes, as we were thinking why they dont understand us...why we are restricted to do this and that...why are they so naggy, etc....i would tend to console myself by thinking the days prior to when we in their stomack and when we are about to be born...and those maiden, innocent years of ours when we were still unable to take care much of ourselves...and even when we could, there are still times that we are still unable to fend for ourselves..
Though they are great..no one is perfect in this world? i think so..haix....anw..This day is dedicated to u, Mothers'~ =D

~ Swatch ~ haix.....i can write a few more lines but..

hahaz...i dont tink anyone would understand this post la..but yea~ =P

------------------------------------------------

haiz..wat make me upset now too is the news that i cant get the chance to get attached to SIAEC for any attachments..haix~ even if its a day or a week, i dont mind at all, but we dont get it at all now for my group is doing the networkin cum softwares parts...sigh.....nvm la...as e overall-see(er), i really hope we can get this big project done..it will be a real good testi & record for us..wats more this is a pioneer project TP is doing, and we can make the school proud too =)

hmmm these days got quite a number of things dat has happened to me...some good some bad..haix, anw hope all's well for all eh ;) Cheers

oh just met up with the SIAEC personnels ytd to give a small presentation on e rough skeleton of the whole Mp/SIP my big group is doing on..the B747-400 simulator for ground run..oh well, it does sound rly rly cool eh;) but~! its rly tough to do it i think..haiz...we rly rly nid to be fast n accurate for the next 4 mth or so when we rly get things started..2wks 3 days have past for now, and we havent been doing anything much except reading some of the manuals =/ hmm quite a high profile project though..and i rly hope we can make it out =) it will rly be an achievement to it..

anw, updates ya agn soon eh~ haiz, been just quite confused of some stuffs lately =) but anw, cheers and have fun ppl~!! yay...

"Sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees.
There are things which you can only see when
you step outside of yourself and read something
that no one has ever told you before."

"As flowing water falls to seek the lowest point,
it gives all its energy away until none remains,
and then returns to its source to fall again.
What does the water gain from this falling?
What does life gain?"

yay today no nid suffer in sch from 845 to 545..hahaha...labour day..haiz...i forgot they opened up the Istana to the public every big public hols..haix...if not i wud have asked some frens along to go together..hehe..been some months since i last go there..though nth much la..but yea..jz for the fun of it maybe =P

went to the temple to pray today..not rly sure wat ocassion isit tho =/ went wif whole family and all..then now just finished eating..was kinda full..cos had some coco crunch jz now for tea time..hahahz..hmm nth much happening tdy ba..just dat had a boring chinese tuition lesson again..today is pay day, and i only realised how expensive it is..omg~! its like 90 per lesson for 2 hrs...gosh....and its like urgh..i rly have not much drive in learning it..not say dont have just not as much as i was in school days..cos have exams and all in sch but not currently mah..haiz...i wud prefer to use the money to learn jap instead sia i think..haix, cos think i have much more interest in jap than mandarin?~

today is the last day of april again...one week has past for my fyp...die die die....how how how...my group havent started on anything much yet..i am the overseer of the group and though i noe nothing much of our programmes & equipemtn have arrived, my group dont seem to be doin much too..urgh~! so frustrating..i rly hope we can make this first project my school is doing a success..by then, i hope we will get gd grades..hehe!!
we are doing b747-400 cockpit simluator for ground rn..can u imagine how tough is dat..Grrrr~..

anw, the worries aside first..went to watch free movie provided by one of my frens..went to mit one of the gang who are going first, then went down to plaza sing (yes~ i went to plaza sing for 3 days in a row =/) watched Letter of Death...not bad a story though i tink its somewat similar to one english show..forgot the title liao...but yea..they say its horror movie..but i tink its more of shocks than horror la..hahaha...heard some shouts and shrieks in the theatre..well, for me, there were just times where i sat tight...haha..not scared though but those shockings only..hehe

hmm anw,rly txs alots for asking me along..its been so long since i had so much fun with friends =)
love u peeps =D