Totally Gross

As I am writing this I can not stop laughing! I don't even have any excuse or explanation. Just plain nastiness that you can't help but laugh at. Here is some of the dialog from the last 10 minutes at the Swilor House.



Me: Okay crazies, time to hop in the bath.

Bryan: Mom, we are not supposed to hop in the baff, it's dangerous!

Me: You're right Bryan, don't hop in the bath, just climb in, okay?

Kendall: But where should we put our snow boots?



You might be asking yourself why the snow boots were on in the first place. Apparently the rain boots are not as comfortable and the grass was wet, resulting in snow boots in August.



Me: Why don't you put your snow boots where you found them, in your closet.

Bryan: Why don't you put your snow boots where you found them, in your tloset.

Me: Ha! Ha! Bryan, very clever.

Bryan: Ha! Ha! Mommy, very twever.



Yep, we have discovered the copy cat game, hours of fun for a three year old.

At this point I go downstairs to let Moosey out, and I hear...



Kendall: Bryan, that is NOT funny.

Bryan: It was funny to me.

Kendall: It was not funny to me. It is never funny to pee on someone!



Go ahead and read it again just to be sure, but yes, you read it right the first time.



Bryan: Sorry Tendall, I will never pee on you.

Kendall: Thanks Bryan. That's good teamwork.

Bryan: Yeah, and peeing on people is not good teamwork.



So here I am in the living room, laughing my head off while my kids sit in pee water. So gross, but so, so funny. I guess they are getting a shower tonight...

Hangin' Out, Being Awesome

I love my family. I love spending time with my awesome husband and our super cool kids. And they really are super cool kids. We have such a great time doing just about everything together. And we love coming up with random/crazy/silly things to do together. Before Ethan left for the desert he came up with the great idea to tie Kendall and Bryan up just to see if they could get out. The rest of us jumped on board since this idea was pretty much genius! Now, before you get all huffy on me and send a bunch of comments about how it isn't a good idea to tie your kids up and how posting pictures of it is bad parenting, let's just all admit that we have either A) Been tied up just to see if we could get out, B) Tied someone else up just to see if they could get out, or C) Tied your kids up and hoped they couldn't get out. Just because you didn't take pictures of it doesn't mean you can be angry at me and vent it in the form of disapproval. :) Okay, so now that we are all on equal ground, let me show you what a great time we had at our house hangin' out, and being awesome. Like usual.

I have a great video of Kendall pulling a Houdini and breaking free right before your very eyes, but I'm still figuring out how to get it on here, so hopefully you will see it soon.

No Cameras Allowed

Meet Bryan! Bryan is three and a half years old, and has the best sense of humor. If you haven't gotten to see it in action, you are missing out. But Bryan is a little timid around most people so you are probably in the majority. He has a small "inner circle" of friends where he feels comfortable letting his guard down, and those lucky individuals get to meet one of the funniest toddlers this world has ever known. So many of our best lines have come from this boy. "Yook!" "I wuv you appalba!" "Tan you see my zebra?!?" "Dad, you're a girl." The list goes on and on. Maybe he pretends to be shy to make people work for his attention. Or maybe he just likes to be a pain. We don't know why he chooses to isolate himself, but Ethan and I have often worried that he misses out on so many fun things because he lets crowds of people get to him. So now that Kendall is in school all day I am trying to integrate my hilarious three year old into society! What better place to get used to chaos than at the Children's Museum?! So that's where we went. As soon as we got there he was behind my leg acting nervous. But by the time we got to the small balls that fall from the ceiling he was off on his own. It was so fun to see him let loose and have some honest to goodness fun with not only other people, but **gasp** other kids around. He tried his best to avoid them at first, but there was just no getting around the fact that the museum was crowded, and if he wanted to play he was going to have to occasionally be in the same vicinity as other children. I loved watching him find his favorite orange ball and follow it from tube to ceiling, back out onto the floor and all over the place. And then he moved on to trying to pick up as many balls as he could. He reminded me of that chubby mouse in Cinderella trying to pick up one too many pieces of corn. He would get five or six in his arms, get greedy and try for one more, and they would all go spilling out in every direction. His face was priceless and he was having so much fun! I was oh, so tempted to reach into my purse for my trusty camera to capture it all for posterity. But this little voice inside my head told me to stop trying to capture every moment on film, and try harder to live every moment in action. The camera stayed put, and even when he was swatting balls off the stream of air coming from the ground, and I wanted to film it all, I stayed right by his side and actually enjoyed the moment with him. And when he kept putting his orange ball up a down chute and it kept rolling back in his face over and over, I wanted to take a video of it to share with the world! But the camera stayed tucked away and we shared a fantastic morning together. Just the two of us, and half the toddler population of the greater Omaha area. We both had a wonderful time. And when a sweet mom next to us told me that my son had been cracking her up the whole day, I smiled knowing that Bryan might be a little closer to sharing his wonderful personality with the world!

Yes, Commercials Make Me Cry!

It is a typical Wednesday, which means we are hanging out as a family watching Wipeout! - the greatest show ever - and a commercial comes on. It is your usual end of summer commercial all about how buying your children every school supply under the sun will make you the best parent and bring you and your child closer together. This particular one was for a college student buying all of the "necessary" dorm supplies, and although I am a slave to advertising I usually just block this type of commercial out and wait for my show. But not this time. This time I start thinking about how fast the last five years have gone and how it really isn't going to be all that long before I will be packing up my beautiful baby girl and dropping her off at some college, and then it is just a blink away before I will be doing the same thing with my baby boy, and before I know it my crazy gene kicks in and I am sobbing while my kiddos watch uncoordinated wackos bounce head first into mud. (Seriously, if you haven't seen wipeout, you are missing out!) Yes, I realize I should probably be hospitalized. But for that brief moment I felt my sweet kids grow up right before my eyes and I couldn't control the molten crazy from erupting and spewing all over the family room. It didn't take long to compose myself, but similar emotions washed over me today when Bryan and I dropped Kendall off for her first day of kindergarten. She was so excited, and she looked so stinkin' cute in her new school outfit and her TinkerBell backpack. I held it together up until she started to follow her teacher into the classroom and looked back at me with her angel face and nervous eyes, waiting for me to reassure her that this was an okay thing to do. I gave her a big thumbs up, and she smiled and put on her brave face and marched into school like a champ, and that is when the tears started to fall. She is so ready to be in school all day - the kid is like a sponge and has soaked up almost everything I have, so it is time to move on to the next reservoir of knowledge. We love you Kendall! You are the most lovable kindergartener I know. I can't wait to watch you grow. And I will soak it all in and enjoy all our time together before it is time to buy you every school supply under the sun and drop you off at some dorm half way across the country. And then the commercials will really make me cry.