短短发泄

今天，好早就起床。有9点的课，不得不7.30就出门。

TC的课有点闷。出了名的吵的她今天好静。好奇怪。

好多作业。烦死了。

累！！

最近好累、好累。。。

身心疲累。

从星期一到今天，我都没碰过键盘。从学校奔波劳累地赶回家，就双脚发麻、双眸垂吊着。想到有作业要赶，就很烦。只想赖在床上不动啦。还没过十点，就觉得很累，一秒就能冲进梦乡。

蟹子好怪。今天他在某课的时候，坐在我旁边，却一直往我这里靠。我像是那么值得依靠的人吗？搞得大半天，他的另一边空着，我和我另一边的男生都要被挤到桌外去了。我很不好意思拒绝他那个project的事。怎么说，都和HY，EL说好了，突然要做这个2~3人的作业，我实在无法违背HY与EL的约定。再说，HY与EL都互不认识。怎么能丢下她们呢？昨晚，蟹子有问起project的事，我已坦白地说会和朋友同伙了。结果，在导课时，导师提起project的事，我问蟹子他要怎么办，要不要乘这个时候找伴。他却在我面前发起闷来，脸色不好看。默默地从背包里拿出手机，冷漠地说：我和我朋友作好了。早知如此，何必当初！有朋友和他同伙，怎么不早说！在蟹子的眼里，我应该很坏吧。

我很讨厌巨蟹男。他们总让我作出一些我平常不会对别人做的‘坏事’。

上了另一个课，牛儿也在。课完了，BH来和我说话。蟹子与他的一个女性朋友走出课室，唯有牛儿在旁等着。我们边说，边走出门，蟹子就走在前头，我还没向牛儿介绍BH，他就头也不回地走了。牛儿看到了，没说什么，我们与蟹子连道别都没有，就走向另一个巴士站了。为什么这样。。。

牛儿最近心事重重。他说他自己也不知道为什么。做朋友的我，只能叫他看开一点咯。

*****************************************************************************

最近想过，牛肉好吃是好吃，但是，若不是很喜欢，还是别吃的好。养牛的先生最近也把牛肉的价格抬得很高。快要吃不起了。那位先生也说，牛肉不适合我，改吃别的吧。怎么说，观音不吃牛肉吧。

Dead Beat

Am so so so tired these days. Maybe I wasn't that adapted to the fact that I had to commute to school everyday, and having tuition lessons for the whole day on saturday. Anw, i am ending my sat tuition on 8th sept. that will be the last. have i mentioned that here? lol.

Let's say i have a 12pm class. one would think that i do not need to wake up anytime earlier than 10am. But, i need to leave house by 10.45am. and for a snail like me, i duno wat i can be doing, i sometimes can still take more than an hr to prepare for sch, so still, have to wake up at least around 9.30am. In the case that i want to study before that, i will have to wake up at 8am. people will say: "u only 12 den got lesson, why wake up at 8am?"

Nothing much that i can do. piano is getting harder and i don't have time to practise it yet. my desktop makes a roar everytime i switched it on. my LAN connection is dead. i duno why, gotta ask the mio person to fix it next week when he comes. and i din have a proper connection last nite. so.. have to use the net this morn to do updates. so ma fan.. T.T

I miss sleep.

Sunday agenda

It's sunday again!

Many many things I had dreaded until today to complete. I am a procrastinator. Anyway, morning gotta wake up early and helped out my family with the hungry ghost festival thingy. So carried all those canned food/cooked food/whatever edible out to place on a table outside the house, and did some 'ceremonial speech' and pray and wait and burn incense papers. Before i can finally sit down and rest after a busy morning.

Waited for my grandparents and relatives to come to our house and have lunch together. Had a very full meal for lunch. Only then, had i first stepped into my room and panick that i have so many work undone yet.

Ok. Jap lesson 26, 27 and prepare 28. What else? Tml's jap review quiz (more like a test to me), and gotta prepare for that as well. The translation exercise that will be due this tueday's lecture. and so many extra readings thanks to history of chi lit. i took such a long time to finish 2 lecture supplementary readings, now there's 3 more! wth. and 2 geo readings for me to be prepared for its third lecture. and the little compulsory level 3 chi lexicology exercise i had to do for tuesday's lecture as well. this level 3 module is a little too breezeful for me. it's getting scary. all the stuff, understandable and learnt before. just concepts of words and phrases, but it's level 3 module. hmm. haven really start on its project that is due on 10 october. ok, slap me if i haven remind myself when the calendar hits september.

Piano.. it's reaching an end. haven't really perfect on the songs that i have to play this monday(which is tml). and half part of the hungarian dance no.5, and suite from nutcracker's left and that's all for book one. think i have to pay my sch fees along with the new textbook fee next next monday together. so taxing.

What else today? oh i have to iron my clothes. since i am a procrastinator, i don't iron my clothes until there's no other way for me but to iron. that wardrobe has sustained me for two full weeks, and now the cycle goes that i need to re-iron everything again and so be able to live for the next two weeks.

Dad and mom going to watch 881 later. mom wanted me to order the tickets online last nite. hmm.. so loving. it's good to see couples being so loving even when their child hits age 20. shall ask them how's the show. but i am definitely not going to spend 8 bucks on 881. lol. not my cup of tea.

Shall share something funny (to me but maybe not to you) that happened on last friday's geo lecture. The professor was discussing about the concept of geographical imaginations. and that was what people perceived for a particular place according to their own experiences and whatever. so in the previous lecture, the professor divided the lecture group into two, with one drawing the ideological concept map of singapore, the other, the map of the world. and ok, when he showed us one map of singapore that some student had drew, some students very funny. they will draw what they want on the map. some list the mrt stations, some list the expressways, some list fastfood restaurants, some list the islands around sg, some list schools, and any other buildings they know of. and one student, think he/she lives in the east side. he/she drew NUS on the west and add in brackets (freaking far ~!@#$^&). LOL. den our prof said, this is a perception of this student, but if another student who lives in clementi, will that student oso perceive nus as freaking far? LOL. get my joke? LOL. i love that prof. he's so humorous. too bad i can never catch that lecture again. it's just so funny.

Makes me Wonder

First of all, "Happy Birthday to my Mom!"

I had been an evil, mean-y, wicked, selfish person; as from what I had observed myself for a week.

I am so not concerned about how he felt towards me. I just live my life. Either he hates me, or not. I think this is wrong, but i am not about to change. Friends said it wasn't really my fault. Maybe I aren't. But i just feel guilty.

Is guilty = fault? Something to ponder.

Been telling myself this: 有些朋友不值得你去花心思为他们愁。你那么在乎，最后又得到什么？

I just hope he can stop putting on a moody front to us all. It's really dampening all our mood. We did nothing wrong, and he can't expect us to ask him constantly, is there anything troubling you? and you just shrug it off and said, "nah.. just tired."

I really hope this is nothing to do with me.

I just wanna live my life.

# # # # # # # # # #

Anyway, regarding school. I am still making time to adapt to all these 'new' system. I always complain that I hate school. I swear when I have nowhere else to go but into the society to work, I will start complaining again that I miss school. So contradicting.

Yeah, school's tough. A lot of readings. and i haven really practice jap. I wonder what am i doing. i am so pissed off with lesson 26. what is it talking about? what an easy start. LOL. next week, all the tutorials are starting. and yes, it now makes me wonder, how my timetable will be like if i did not take jap. Sure gonna be breezzz-y..

浪费时间

最近很会浪费时间。

迷迷茫茫地过日子。什么也不想去想。只知道今天有什么课，规划一下，去学校，回来，每天接二连三地重复着。有点想看开一切。我会的。

好不容易，学校的时间表终于正式地规划好了。有些时间不是我想要的，也没办法。和别人争，总得吃点亏。

这几天，大脑好像没装什么。一直听着“不能说的秘密”的原声带。重复着一遍又一遍。。因该也听了至少50回吧。超赞的！听了，就不由自主地想弹琴，往琴室跑。偶尔有点空，就读读书。看着那些密密麻麻的字，都快把我逼疯了。我最近不爱上MSN。因为，很浪费时间。坐在那，期待着肤浅的回复，了解到时间的珍贵、人性的丑陋。还不如宠宠自己，陪自己多一点。

昨晚，作了个梦。

有个男孩，24岁，向我告白。他的长相，我没看过，但是醒来后，还记得。如果，在街上碰到，我一定认得他。我在工作场合上认识他。我们是朋友。只是朋友。我对他好，他也对我好。但是，有一天，他却要我承认我是喜欢他的。我很困扰。因为我根本对他没意思。他总是驾着一辆银色轿车。有一天，放工后，我等不到巴士，他便邀我上他的车。上了车后，他向我告白。也要我给他回复。我觉得很莫名其妙。他驾着驾着，来到了义顺附近，勾起了我很多回忆。他邀我到他家坐坐。我顿时心中燃起了许多感触、回忆、悲痛。我不想再想起那段时光了！

我在梦里彻彻底底地对他产生了无限反感。一句：“对不起，我还是搭巴士回家。” 我下了车。为自己能够放下一切，开启一条道路的勇气感到骄傲。

Ballots

I hate the balloting system.

I was a heart attack to me yesterday when i clicked that link given to me in my email, showing all at a glance of what i had got and what i had not.

All of us only given 12 possible rankings. and for me, i have 8 slots to ballot, from all my 5 modules. so i only have 4 rankings left to rank my backup.

It's like placing a bet for toto. i got 8. and it stroke 7. was i lucky? or was i not? it's not easy to rank! i got all my wanted jap slots, my wanted geo lab, my wanted chi lit and chi lexi tut, but not my wanted geo tut, stil the one they gave me is nt bad in the timing, but that means i am takin alone. and for basic translation, i duno wat to say. got.. nth, not even my backup. and today gotta ballot. n slots left for me is either wed 4 to 6 or thur 4 to 6. wat a wonderful slot. n i wanted wed, coz if that's the case, i can go to wed's class straight after my wed's jap class from 2 to 4. whereas, on thur, i only have lesson from 12 to 2. wat am i goin to do in that 2 hrs? anw..both have it's gd n bad. the wed slot. left 3 spaces. one for me? one for BH who cant got his slot too? and one for? but the thur slot, left 17 spaces. i dun care le. see wat heaven decides.

it's so scary to ballot. i went thru the list. many ppl din get their jap tut and that's even worse. n many ppl din get all of wat they wanted. only ppl like al who have only 3 jap tut to rank in that 12 rankings can have a nice evening session. for ppl like us, why so many tut! becoz we're arts students.. sc students are labs. they will be given their labs. no need to settle their shet down to ballot. nonsensical and illogical for science driven minds. arts students thrive on equality and watever theory that sets off them. so we 'fight' using this system. but why let the other fac students come fight with us? we all have different no of tut to rank in the first place. not fair huh.. maybe next time can feedback.

so looking forward to tml. i wan go amk hub to play piano again. oh, nt with al this time. pam coming.. =D

first week

It's been a week since i blogged.

Yeah, school's started. and i was busy for the week. it was a tedious week for me, coz there's so many new things around. long time never have new "challenges" ahead. ha..

On monday, it was my first lecture. went for jap, spent $70 on the textbooks, and had a hard time understandin wat our new lecturer teaches. it's not her fault, coz i cant understand the textbook oso. after the lesson, went to the new deck (arts canteen). so many ppl. cant even have a proper place to sit. went to the BK at lv 2 instead. that isn't as nice as i expected. rushed home early.

Met pam.. and piano class. new song learned. i only can play it on tue. why not monday?

On tue, met al for breakfast. we had a proper place to sit in the deck, but long time nv eat the jap food there. we left at 12pm, he got lesson, i gotta meet BH to print stuff at the central lib. new central lib. admittance need the student card. i caused a jam at the entrance. the rbr section. now we go in n get the books ourselves. why so many things changed? weird. many people rushing to print their stuff. basic translation lesson. a new experience, it's interesting but not easy. chi lexicology. difficult and research-oriented lv3 module. many year threes there.

On wed, my most relaxed day of the week. meet al to go amk hub's cristofori. we took sometime decidin where to eat. end up at ichiban. nice food. al suggested watchin movie since he waiting wif me for pam n ty to come at evening. so went to buy rush hr 3 tix. we din check the timing. we wanted the 3.30 slot. the person gave us the 2.30 slot. so we played piano until 3.30. slight commotion. we stil sneak in, but we went to the 3.30 room. finished, walked around. went to mos to sit and have tea n tok. when pam n ty came, al went home, and we went to nebo to have dinner. this place can rent board games to play. we laughed a lot and made a lot of noise. duno how to play most of the games.

Thur. went to school for chi lit. reached there early to print, alone. quiet life. so surprised to see hj again. we always can meet so coincidentally. we talked. saw BH and his girl, J. she oso takin chi lit. then waited at my comp for them to go. den we left. interesting lecture. but i am afraid of wat i have to do for this module and the exams. cant we jus sit in and enjoy? finished, meet up pam at her hse. went to popular to get stationary before that.

Friday, meet el and hy for geo lect. it's interesting. i like the lecturer and the stuff we're going to learn. finished early, goin to sim to meet pam n yj, el oso goin to have lunch with them. had a nice catching up session. they went home. pam stayed for project n i sat beside their table studyin jap n geo. tired. dad got the tix for the national fireworks celebration. goin to the ndp platform. first time there. went to marina to have dinner. pam treated me. went to ndp platform, reached there so early. had a nice long tok. finally started. the most beautiful nite i had ever seen.

Sat, woke up late. was so tired. woke up late, went for tuition. played piano, read a bit. i goin to end my tuition on sat on 8th sept. haven really told their mom.

Sun, woke up early to bring pillow for annual vaccination. he's still very noisy. but glad the doc said he's healthy. bring him to his first ever ear-cleaning. went home. studied.

I hoped my balloting is successful. it's so tedious. and so difficult than the bidding.

mio done.

Finally went to apply for the mio plan.

It was our third attempt upon stepping into the singtel shop. LOL. first time, we just ask about the mio and we need a new mobile line, but we have no idea wat phone to get, so we got the queue number, and waited.. and went home. 2nd try, we wanted, and we even had an idea on wat phone to get. aunt wanted SE's w850i.. that sunday oso got promotion, but we went there too late, the phone was out of stock, and our movie, (Harry potter 5) is starting, so we gotta give up the queue again as well.

Today we went there, and we're the first customer to apply for the mio. coz our queue number is 5000. i think ppl who applied for mio will have their queue numbers starting from 5000.

Anw, we got to the person and we finally started applying. and aunt was happy that she can get her w850i finally, and the price was $228, but after rebating from the itwo plus plan, the phone is $108. and we traded in a nokia 6020 phone for $60, so she only pay $48 for the phone. she's very happy and yeah, the phone is very very nice. but seemed difficult to use. haven really explore it.

one thing i cannot stand is my father. walao, so long liao, he still so childish, i called him to eat before meals and now he still gave me a cold treatment. i really duno how to say abt him. n today applyin the mio, i tried tokin to him, but he like nt very keen to listen, end up need my aunt listen from me den explain to him den he get excited. treating everyone so "friendly".. wtf.. i am not goin to apologize.. i die oso will not! ok i am naive, but i really dun wan to thrash my so called dignity here.

anw, the singtel ppl will only come on 6th sept to install the mio thingy. last few weeks of pleasant house phone use. haha, mio liao sure wil have bad reception de rite?

sch starting tml le. half excited, half dreading, half nth. hope all turn out well.

i have a strong urge to get all my notes printed and bury myself in reading now, so i wun spend too much time thinkin abt unfruitful, irrelevant, childish, insensible stuff..

been tagged.. weirdo?

Hmm.. interesting.. ty tagged me too about the 6/7 weird things about myself. cool lei, i haven really sit down and think how weird i am. i only often think that other ppl are weird, why ppl like that.. but nv think why i like that.. ok.. so now i think..

6 or 7 weird things ... i shall think.. if i have enuff, i'd write 7..

Here goes..

(1): i was a tomboy. i scolded vulgarities when you're watching pokemon. i think i was so male-oriented because my mom dun allow me to have long hair and my dad introduces to me WWF. maybe they brought me up like a boy. maybe they wanted a boy. i was the loudest in class and i think everyone hates me. i always get on teacher's nerve. i fight with boys. they cried when i grabbed their collar.

shocked right?

(2): i love to socialise but i am anti-social. i like making friends but i hate knowing people. i stick close with friends but i dun wan them to rely on me to much. i was loud with friends but i was quiet in the public, or when i am supposed to be loud. i want to be a teacher but i hate standing in front of the class. i have no expressions when i am at home, my family tinks i am emotionless.

so weird rite?

(3): i never show my emotions. i think i have an inner me. either i burst out loud, or there's silence. when someone switches off the light, i heard screams but not mine. when i see a spider jumped onto my hand, i jumped too but that's all. i cry silently, mostly in my heart. i laugh out loud because it's the right moment to laugh and i can't control it. other times, i giggle with my emotionless face.

(4): i get worried when people don't talk. i looked around and wonder if i should talk. when people end conversations, i think they hate me. no one knows coz i thrive on emotionless.

more like an attention-seeker.

(5): the guy i like, either he becomes my friend, or he's my friend. i never like someone from far. we either become close friends, or stead or nothing. and when i get over him and look back, i laugh at why i was so silly last time to fall for him. or i shall say, i laugh at every such experience. i never thot of.. "that was really a hot guy that i can fall for but too bad he wasn't mine". i only think, "omg, did i once fall for him? where's my eyes?" maybe i am wrong.

(6): i never give up unless there's really no hope. yes, i will not stop learning something so suddenly, or let my comp die, or get stucked in a game's level, or like a guy. either i am too determined, or i have too much confidence, or that i have nth better to do. but still, there are things i dun even bother trying. like applying for a scholarship.

Shall i pass this on? ok, i shall tag to these people as follows.

"you". either i know u or nt, u have to write 6/7 weird things abt u too. ha.. my 7th weirdness.

我要开学了。

时间真的过得好快。

三个月前所下的行程表，现在也快处理玩了。开学的心情也准备得七七八八了。房间是乱得不可以，但也收拾好了。

在五月二日的日记里，我写着一条长长的行程表。现在是来回过头看看的时候了。：

A brief want-to-do list currently on my mind (becoz it's on my mind, it's nt organised in order):
--> meet kel tml for the leslie kee's photo exhibition trip.. (too bad hj n pam cant make it...) [去了摄影展、博物馆、也买了FFVII的游戏，却还没玩。有点后悔当时和他单独出去，谁叫我没想这么多。]
--> clean up my room (it's a total mess) [来来去去，房间永远收拾不完。到现在，我还不是要特别去收拾，为了开学。]
--> iron all the clothes i can wear (i need to tidy up my wardrobe too) [是有收拾啦，只是衣服很少烫，不一会儿，烫好的衣服又穿完了。]
--> download as many songs as i can (eng rock to ff ost to movie ost.. waha) [我的确录了很多，到现在听也听不完。]
--> watch anime (those bro yj n kel burnt for me! thanks guys!) [我竟然没看！]
--> play with pillow (run around for half an hr) [有陪它每天玩，但是它也因该习惯我在家了，开学怎么办？]
--> try to bring pillow for more walks (bought a muzzle for him n so he cant bark) [想都没想。替自己找一大堆借口。]
--> celebrate pillow's bday tml (3rd may! n happy bday to pam's mom too!) [有啊！那天它吃了很多东西，快乐极了。]
--> celebrate pam's bday! (she wan surprises haha.. i stil thinking lei.. u wan go paris tabe? ^_^) [最后没去Paris，反而送了她一条链、请她看Play!Concert,好像都没有惊喜。]
--> celebrate ty's bday n her entry to ntu (=D) [去TY家，玩到很迟，也送她一条链，和Eye shadow。]
--> celebrate my sis sh's bday (gotta buy some nice presents too~) [到现在都没空见面。]
--> celebrate bro yj's bday (will discuss w pam after her paper) [我们那天在AMKHUB吃了很多，送他一件衣服。]
--> celebrate al's bday (on 10th may since he can only come spore then..)[看了200磅美女，到Newton Circle吃宵夜。送了他一件衣服。]
--> celebrate mom's day (where shall i bring my mom to tabe?)[到CWP的Ichiban吃了好多好多。]
--> one mth later, celebrate dad's day [到店小二吃了很多很多。]
--> wonder if the makeover thingy still on.. if nt i wanna cut my hair!! [Makeover? 哈我没去，也真好才没去。但是，去了Chapter2,弄了头发，过了一个月才能习惯。]
--> catch more vids on u-tube~~ (before next time no chance)[youtube 因该是不会倒啦。但的确看了很多很多。]
--> go library borrow books n read (fei hua.. lol.. )[有！最近也借到了很好看的书，叫“我的路”。]
--> tuition on sats.. must prepare early before hand.. n goin to look for more tutees.. [到现在还在补，就连拜一也是。开始不知道要教什么了。]
--> next tue cake trip with pam, kel n hj! [去了Changing Appetites。吃得好饱。]
--> re-play pokemon.. (haha.. crystal version? was that the last?)[我都忘了这回事。]
--> play ffvii.. (the pc version.. where got sell?) [买了。都没玩。现在在Al那里。]
--> also re-play sim city, the sims, etc~~ [download 一大堆patch，都没玩。]
--> re-read my manga.. and also read those online manga.. or borrow from manga shop.. [自己的漫画每读那么多，TY的Onepiece，全套，超好看！]
--> continue practising my jap (nihongo for ishogashii hito.. LOL)[是有读一点啦。。]
--> catch the movies: harry potter, pirates of carribean, spiderman3, bla bla..[pirates 我没看，却看了：Harry potter, Spiderman3, Fantastic 4, Vacancy, 200Pound Beauty, Transformer, Alone, Die Hard4, the Secret..还有吗？）
--> rent movies from video ezy (=D) [好像都没在看。]
--> go on gentin trip wif pam kel n al! [去了Sunway，但是，只和TY和pam。也了解到友情的脆弱。]
--> go tw/hk trip wif my aunt n her fren! [有机会，但没去，因为要开学了。]
--> meet kny for lunch at RP n wif pam too~! [他竟然邀了JW,最后不去，好像还吵架了。]
--> learn piano! (i am really goin to do it this hol!) [我最开心的一件事。现在还在学，课本也要教完了！]
--> make more art wk~ draw.. sketch.. photo-editin~~ (if done le will put up here~)[有试过，但没心情、没耐心。]
--> meet up with rn, jes, hy! [和Rn与Jes去k-box，和HY去novena走走！]
--> meet laoyang w ty to discuss our chi-related future.. (zz~)[最后没有。]
--> invite hj n hl n pam to my hse to play mahjong again~! [没机会，大家都好忙。]
--> buy a new bag for next sem.. [买了！都要用半个月了。]
--> wan an mp3 (coz these days i cant live w/o music) [另外一件很开心的事：我阿姨送的生日礼物。好喜欢！]
--> hopefully view my results happily online.. 3.8?!! [想得美。3.06而已。]
--> enjoy life!! [有！我过得很充实！！太舍不得了！]

其中还发生了一些意想不到的事。。
在这三个月，我和他终于断绝关系，没有做朋友的理由。
每天不是烂在家，就是往外跑，和朋友出去。
我发现K-Box的歌唱时间其实很长，因为没什么歌好唱了。
在这三个月，TY终于作了去台湾留学的决定。
我生日的那个星期，整整与不同家人、朋友庆祝了七天，很美好的回忆。
我镖了下个学期的课，将会认识新的朋友，学新的东西。
我开始太过在意我欣赏的钢琴家，又要步入受伤的旅程了，咎由自取。
我开始觉得友善的螃蟹男很可怕。
当我听到我的钢琴等级能升为三级时，我好兴奋。我学了很多歌，往不同琴室跑。
我见了好久不见的朋友。
我接受了许多新歌。看了许多电影、听了许多故事。
我最近沉浸在我自己所谓的暧昧。我很想高喊：“忽冷忽热，很好玩是吗？”
对不喜欢的人，我很刻薄，我相信我会得到报应。

带着全新的心态，我终于要开学了。

National Day~

I finally secured my five modules for the next semester. If you are asking which five, it's "basic translation", "history of chi literature", "chi lexicology", "jap 3" and "places, environment and society". so some description for each module...

basic translation. this module, is one of the core modules in my major, Chi lang. as the name implies, it means translating from eng to chi, and maybe oso from chi to eng. this module, was sayin to take with hj and kel. but in the end, i am only takin it with bh, a chi lang major too. we're allowed to bring dictionary and stuff for this module and even open book format for exams. so i think this module is really cultivating on translation skills, so not bad.

History of chi lit. this is one compulsory module for chi lang or chi studies majors. and i believe this will be my most pissing module to be. first, i hate history. 2nd, the module is so damn heavy!! i checked the required readings. 15 for lectures, 10 for tutorials. and here means at least a chapter of a book. and even if u read, u cant really understand wat it means. and when u look carefully, 15 for lectures, is jus on the surface. i checked the list, there're hidden books as well! meaning, the lecturer break up the lesson schedule for us, but he mentioned books that arent in the book list as well. wth! and these books, are hidden in the library, n u gotta dig them out of the library one by one, meaning u go find the call numbers of each of these books, fill up a form, stand there and wait for the librarian to find the book for u, and get it photocopied before 2 hrs. all self-initiated. and the most pissing thing is, u cant be sure that u'd understand wat u read. waste time, money n effort. i did this for my module, general history of china last sem, and wat do i get? B-. sian. and this module, got a term paper. to be done between 2 person! and the exam is closed book format. zz. ok i am taking this module with bh, but bh said his "gf-i-supposed" is oso taking this module. coz she is majorin cl too, but i duno why she isn't takin up basic translation n chi lexicology like we did. ah.. future stuff left for the future to ponder.

chi lexi. ok. this module, is a lv 3 module while the previous 2 mentioned are lv2 modules. surely it's goin to be harder, but so far that i see.. it uses the textbook that we had used for my cl1101e last sem. so it's stil ok. at least i dun have to memorise all shit at one go. and this is oso open book exam format, so hopefully everything's still manageable. another skill cultivation. taking this module with bh too.

Jap 3. ok as name implies, it's part 3 of jap. had taken 1 and 2 for the previous 2 sems. it's learning jap and stuff, and i'm taking this module with hj, al n kel. this sem our lecturer changed. to he-li-ye sensei.. ha.. but so far, heard from everyone that had been taught by her before, that she's brilliant. lookin forward~

place, environment n society. it's a geo module. i took it as a general mod. hmm.. not bad. it is brilliant in the sense that the readings they alr had them all up in pdf format in the workbin n i dun have to carry my shit to library to get them digged out n photocopied. i really cant understand why chi modules cant do the same. and i took a look at the chapters. wow. cool. i think it'd interest me, as it's talking about stuff like global warming, ecology for the physical parts, the world population n stuff for the human parts. taking this mod with hy. and.. el last min decided to switch from understandin the universe to this mod. den kel.. hmm.. oh btw, i saw that we had a few projects to do. one is a written project for 2 to 3 person. hmm.. and one is a project for 4 to 5 person. pam if u read this, u get wat i mean? 2 to 3 person.. how huh??? the lion dun wish to ally with the crab. i hope i can jus do with hy n el. am i being too selfish? and there're two uncompulsory field trips. that's nt bad too.

ah.. anw, happy national day. i gotta bath pillow, clear my room, iron my clothes today. and i gotta do smth to my face. it really need some moisturizing.

oops

Ahh.. now at mac.. now so sian. just finish my piano lesson, sitting at the mac. dun intend to go home. and haven eat dinner..

Ahh.. today's lesson.. how shall i say? i kinda blow it?? the lesson started 3 mins late and it ended 5 mins earlier. wat have i done? lol.. went in the class, the teacher asked if i wanna buy a digital piano for $1K. i dun intend to la.. but stil say.. oh okok lor.. i consider.. ahh watever..

very soon, the lesson started.. i asked her that i intend to take grade exams and i ask if i wanna take, how is it goin to be? den she said my book 1 after completed, and with completion of book 2, i may take grade 2 or grade 3. oh.. den later on, i think when she go through the lessons with me, she was saying that i need theory lessons if i really intend to take grade exams.

Ahh.. anw, when go through the lessons, she suddenly saw the song on "the entertainer", she was.. like.. wa. so long and she intend to skip the song. so i told her i alr practice it so she said ok.. so she played once.. nt very well played.. a lot of mistakes.. but stil ok la.. den i oso try playing when she told me to.. but..i dun dare to play too well, coz i scared she angry..ha.. anw.. played.. den she said ok la.. den let me off and i think it's 5 mins early..

Den she tok to me.. that i should consider havin theory lessons, should check with the sch if i really intend to do grade exams.. ah.. den she gave me her number.. sayin she offering private lessons, so if i intend, can check with her.. lol.. ah.. watever.. goin to eat soon la`~

Sat BLUES

I intended to wake up at 9am. So i can hurriedly prepare for the maths tuition later on. but i was amazed to open my eyes at 10.30am. It's finally august. and so many things to prepare for. and the study mood shall be switched back on NOW!

Woke up to find no one at home and then only realised that mom had told me yesterday they're going out to see chi doctor in the morning. so.. washed up.. and come here...

Oh.. i got my jap3.. ha.. i still plain worry so much. the bid pt's only 50. not that much as expected huh.. haha.. maybe most people who wanna do jap3, they're from outside the faculty.. and they only have 50 vacancies to fight for..

Went to watch "the secret" with pam n ty yesterday. Yes, we caught the late nite movie. and the story.. how shall i say?? i think it's nice. the story is pleasantly accompanied with so many piano pieces and the ending is really kinda a twist, that at first we thot it's changing to a horror movie. LOL. but still, ok the story turns out quite well. and i rated the movie as 4 stars coz it's worth a watch too.

Before that, we had dinner at banquet and before that, pam n me went to the symphonic music sch to rent a studio. so ex! $8/hr and now i prefer cristofori the most. haha. the piano brand? Hermann?? Think it's a german brand. i stil prefer asahi/yamaha XD.

Anw, i really do enjoy having outings w pam and ty. it's always a nice chatty session when u can jus stop thinking about sch and worries and stuff. but sch is really opening.. and i alr bidded successfully for 4/5 modules. got one last module to bid: geography. and..... el maybe taking it too.. she suddenly ask me abt it coz she said she need a gem, and understandin the universe is too high for her.. and kel said he's nt takin basic translatn anymore.. and he wan to take geo too.. hmmmm.. i wonder how's HY's trip to genting..

Er.. and reply to bro yj.. ha.. my pinky?? i got it tied with a plaster.. to make it straight.. it's been sometimes alr.. but sure enuff, gotta let it breathe some fresh air sometimes.. haha.

Happy Thur

Hmm.. carefree day.

Met up pamo early in the morn at 10am and we went to cwp yakun for breakfast. pam had afternoon lessons so we can meet in the morn. anw, we met up and went to have breakfast at yakun. didn't i just said that?

i brought my lappy along coz wanna check for the biddings. wa.. jap3 so high!! only 50 vacancies.. how can it be?? den i tried my best. see tml before close bidding how is it again.

Anw, we went to library and pam n me got books to find. i borrowed some cool books, those like xiao shuo kind.. with pics.. and pam oso gotta find books for her project. i love the connection here. it's so fast!!

After that, went to update our bank book and we went to the 5th floor.. got a music sch there.. i cant really rmbr the name.. ah watever i wanted to rent a prac room. so went for it.. $5.35/hr.. but it's one person only admittance. so pam gotta go to sch le, so i went in.

Very big inside, my room number is 6. encountered a lot of number 6 dis days. is that my lucky number? ok i shall make it be. so inside.. it's asahi piano! ahah.. excited. if it's yamaha i'd be more excited.

Played some songs.. for like 1hr plus n i love it!!!! i think i played not bad today n my pinky finger is finally cooperating with me, btw, i am doing some physical stuff to it to straighten it. it's so crooked and looked so stiff and retarded. den played few songs.. on pedal and it sounds nice..very got the feel.. haha.. so fast 1 hr's up. regretted i din have learnt more songs. anw, i am goin to come back. i love it.

dun feel like goin home yet so come library alone and surf net and type blog. isn't this carefree life? i love it. =) and i'm gonna miss it.

A week has passed

Been sometime since i last blogged.

Erm.. on saturday. it's 20 years since the day i was born. ha. so i woke up early, can't really rmbr wat i did but i recalled discussing the jap tut timings with al at 2pm. we din took a long time to get everything settled. so i rmbred i did some laundry and stuff, den my cousin (mi) came. I was in a happy mood for the whole day coz i din have my tuition. so i was enjoying my day so much.. lazing around. gotta meet pam n bro yj at night for maybe an ice-skating session.

so waited for pam to come after her tuition. i recalled i was not doing much for the day so i can see that she is real tired. morning stil got lesson than rush to tuition. wa.. sure very tiring. den she came and we left the house very soon to meet yj at JE. so we reached. only three of us turned up. was supposed to have ty and kel one. but ty gotta work n kel said he's sick. so we went to have dinner first at kobayashi. i din noticed it but bro yj had caught me stoning a few times. sorry. had i?? haha.. so after the dinner we went to the ice-skating ring and see ppl skate. it's really nt very wise for us to go ahead with the game coz we three are total noobs. i had never had wheels/mobile thingy under my foot before.. except i noe how to skate on a skate scooter. haha.. den pam said she can nv rely on mobile objects and bro yj had nv try before.. see ppl skate.. some really like not easy if u're a total noob.. so we changed our plan to play pool instead..

so we played like .. 4 rounds of pool?? better this time round.. but we din do much after that.. haha.. so we left n we're at a loss of wat to do. so.. we went to walk ard.. n found a place to sit and tok. den tok about ghostly stuff. den we tok and tok and tok.. goin home before we miss the last train.. so we took our leave for home..

on sunday, woke up late again.. admit that i am goin blue. did nth much but around noon time the family is goin to cwp for movie and dinner. so we are finally goin to watch harry potter5.. hmm.. nice movie.. why many ppl said not nice? i think it's nice lei.. thinking back.. i think i had watched a lot of movies lately.. die hard4, vacancy, alone, harry potter5.. but i love watching movies.. going to catch sneak preview of "secret" with pam n ty this fri.. =) late night movie.. hope it'd be nice..

after the dinner, we went to somewhere opposite the now renovating old sembawang shopping centre.. so we ate those 煮炒.. got curry fish head all this.. not bad.. after the food, we went home.. thanks to dad for the treats..

on monday, din do much again. i was slacking these days and half of the time, i wasn't thinking.. i was blue for the day coz today no piano lesson! coz no piano lessons on 5th week of month.. so gotta wait till next week.. so did nth much.. oh i went to sgh with mom for her check-up.. woke up very early in the morn n left hse at 7.45am.. that makes me totally blur for the whole day i think i till 5pm haven really wake up too. so wat did i do? nth much, but wait for the tuition at 3.30pm.. one thing to look forward on that day, i got my pay.

On tue, which is ytdy, i meet up HY at novena and we're going to meet up for lunch n have a nice catching up. so.. we were sayin to meet at 12.24pm.. haha but somehow hy's late so we met at 3pm instead.. n i was so so hungry when we finally meet, the first thing we do is find a place to eat.. haha so we went to mos burger. and we sat n tok there for sometime.. so we wanted to go walk ard.. but there.. got like 3 or 4 shoppin centre.. but it's real pity there is nth to shop there.. duno is it we dun have the mood to buy things. but we jus walk around feeling moody.. haha.. end up.. after walkin to united square, we sat down at starbucks to have coffee.. den hy's fren called her to meet for dinner at nite n they goin genting after that.. so we left for the station.. wa.. so good going overseas.. i oso wanna go overseas again..

so left for home. anw, i regretted tokin to him about the rental thingy.. alr had expected that he wun mind if he shared a room with a gal. now i just feel he hates me, or if nt, the least, find me irritating. very strong feeling. anw, ppl can just find u very irritating. i feel this coz i am easily irritated with ppl who likes me but i dun like them back. so i tend to think everyone thinks the same ba. for example only, guy B, who likes me n i kinda noe it, but will nv like him those kind, is being nice to me. first instinctive reaction i will have: wat's ur motive?? i dun wan to be too close to u. Next, guy B feels my cold attitude, and ask if i am ok, and if he can do anything. My 2nd instinctive reaction: i hope u disappear, i dun wan u to get closer. Then, guy B really hope i can stop being cold to him and ask me if i am angry. My 3rd instinctive reaction: i told u i am nt angry. can u just leave? and get irritated with him for caring me so much. that's a very ugly side of me. i do this to the ppl who like me but i dun.

N so, i think other ppl will do this too. i really duno how others will think. but can things just be simpler? treat the person u like nice, and draw a line to the person u will never like. den this can just avoid so many misunderstandings. and when a girl finds so much courage and the right time to confess her feelings, the guy just say : "sorry i din mean to let u feel this way, but i am just being friendly. we're better off as friends."

I really hope things can be easier. can guys please just be friendly to the girl u like?

Someone once told me this:

作不了情人，不能作朋友。
一旦分了手，没资格作朋友。
男女之间，不是情人就是朋友、不是朋友就是不认识。
朋友与情人之间一线之差。
男女之间，没有永远的朋友，只有永远得不到的爱。
他们所说的好朋友，往往都是为无法成为恋人所找的借口。

很多人单纯地与异性作长久的好朋友，最后才发现，对方想要的不是友谊，而是爱情。

Hmm.. how true is this?