Sunday, February 27, 2005
NEW BANNER!
I got a new banner pic at the top of my site (courtesy of Pam of Pamibe - she's just awesome!)
How does it look? Is it displaying properly?
Comments, please.
How does it look? Is it displaying properly?
Comments, please.
NEW CAR FOR NISSAN? UPDATED 02-27-05
Quibbles and Bits has a very good perspective on this and has managed to answer most of the questions we all had.
Go here to read more.
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
I heard on the radio yesterday that Nissan was deciding if it should market any cars with a new technology they have invented. The computer in the vehicle can now tell if a driver is deviating from their lane (via cameras and other stuff), and it would steer you back into your lane. Now off the top of my head, I can think of three instances where this would be a very bad thing.
FIRST: Obviously, you're in a potential accident and need to jerk the steering wheel.
TWO: You see that drunk, Ms. Executive applying makeup, or the tired trucker, who is riding the yellow line and occasionally over. You decided to pass, but want to take a WIDE berth around their car - just in case they decide to meander into your lane.
THREE: You are driving on snow/ice (yes, some of you won't understand this one, lucky you); however, you are driving under bad weather conditions and need to steer into the skid to regain control of you vehicle.
I don't think the car's computer is going to be smart enough to allow for these occurences. The news said there would be an "on-off switch", but in my first and third example, I don't think you would have time to think, "Oh, I better turn off my steering switch before I turn the wheel to go into another lane."
I couldn't find out anymore on the vehicle. I google'd it and found nothing. I know a lot of you have much more knowledge about cars than I do - any input?
Go here to read more.
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
I heard on the radio yesterday that Nissan was deciding if it should market any cars with a new technology they have invented. The computer in the vehicle can now tell if a driver is deviating from their lane (via cameras and other stuff), and it would steer you back into your lane. Now off the top of my head, I can think of three instances where this would be a very bad thing.
FIRST: Obviously, you're in a potential accident and need to jerk the steering wheel.
TWO: You see that drunk, Ms. Executive applying makeup, or the tired trucker, who is riding the yellow line and occasionally over. You decided to pass, but want to take a WIDE berth around their car - just in case they decide to meander into your lane.
THREE: You are driving on snow/ice (yes, some of you won't understand this one, lucky you); however, you are driving under bad weather conditions and need to steer into the skid to regain control of you vehicle.
I don't think the car's computer is going to be smart enough to allow for these occurences. The news said there would be an "on-off switch", but in my first and third example, I don't think you would have time to think, "Oh, I better turn off my steering switch before I turn the wheel to go into another lane."
I couldn't find out anymore on the vehicle. I google'd it and found nothing. I know a lot of you have much more knowledge about cars than I do - any input?
Saturday, February 26, 2005
PERVERSE DIVERSITY
This ia follow-up to my previous post "A Diatribe on Diversity Training".
I am sick and tired of being treated like a bigot. I haven't got a racist bone in my body! I remember when I was stuck being a supervisor of college students on work study, a female student worker accused me of treating her differently because she was black. I had to explain to my supervisor that the student was not doing her job and it had nothing to do with the color of her skin. Coincidentally, the student worker had been in trouble before so her allegations went nowhere; however, I was just stunned to be accused of that!
Which leads me to the fact that if there is any discrimination going on in the country these days, it is reverse discrimination. Working for the State, in two completely separate departments, I have experienced two blatant cases of African-Americans being kept on the job when they should have been fired.
However, being the State, they would rather move them around than deal with the repercussions for having fired a minority. In both cases, the workers did not do their jobs, were constantly missing from the workplace and took a LOT of "personal" time off of work. In the first case, the state just shuffled the female to another office and called it good. In the second case, the worker was actually the DIRECTOR of the office, making very good money. They demoted him, gave him much less work than anyone else in his position was doing, and kept his pay the same! (This was 5 years ago and he is still "working" there.)
Then there is Affirmative Action... where many minorities (whether racial or gender) get extra points when applying for jobs (both public and private sectors).
In one State office, I dealt with scholarships for college students. There are a lot of scholarships out there where a student is only eligible if he/she is an Indian, or an African-American, or Hispanic, or female. Boy, can I hear the screaming and yelling of NAACP if anyone suggested a "white only" scholarship!
Bigotry has no place in this world. I think we have made great strides in this arena. However, the diversity issue just keeps getting thrown at the white man again and again. I think it is now having an opposite effect than its original intention. Years ago, I might have enjoyed a diversity training. However, now I am just SICK of the whole issue. It is in the newspapers, on TV, on the radio, at your work place, you cannot escape it.
I am not a bigot. If I meet someone for the first time, they are going to have to prove themselves to be a friend or foe by their actions. I don't care what color they are; actions speak louder than words or color.
Can't we all just get along?
I am sick and tired of being treated like a bigot. I haven't got a racist bone in my body! I remember when I was stuck being a supervisor of college students on work study, a female student worker accused me of treating her differently because she was black. I had to explain to my supervisor that the student was not doing her job and it had nothing to do with the color of her skin. Coincidentally, the student worker had been in trouble before so her allegations went nowhere; however, I was just stunned to be accused of that!
Which leads me to the fact that if there is any discrimination going on in the country these days, it is reverse discrimination. Working for the State, in two completely separate departments, I have experienced two blatant cases of African-Americans being kept on the job when they should have been fired.
However, being the State, they would rather move them around than deal with the repercussions for having fired a minority. In both cases, the workers did not do their jobs, were constantly missing from the workplace and took a LOT of "personal" time off of work. In the first case, the state just shuffled the female to another office and called it good. In the second case, the worker was actually the DIRECTOR of the office, making very good money. They demoted him, gave him much less work than anyone else in his position was doing, and kept his pay the same! (This was 5 years ago and he is still "working" there.)
Then there is Affirmative Action... where many minorities (whether racial or gender) get extra points when applying for jobs (both public and private sectors).
In one State office, I dealt with scholarships for college students. There are a lot of scholarships out there where a student is only eligible if he/she is an Indian, or an African-American, or Hispanic, or female. Boy, can I hear the screaming and yelling of NAACP if anyone suggested a "white only" scholarship!
Bigotry has no place in this world. I think we have made great strides in this arena. However, the diversity issue just keeps getting thrown at the white man again and again. I think it is now having an opposite effect than its original intention. Years ago, I might have enjoyed a diversity training. However, now I am just SICK of the whole issue. It is in the newspapers, on TV, on the radio, at your work place, you cannot escape it.
I am not a bigot. If I meet someone for the first time, they are going to have to prove themselves to be a friend or foe by their actions. I don't care what color they are; actions speak louder than words or color.
Can't we all just get along?
DIATRIBE ON DIVERSITY TRAINING
A local police dept has obtained a federal grant for a diversity training. This has spewed forth into an army of employees who are going to be forced fed this 8 hour training, which includes a "working" lunch. The first set of sheep being led to the slaughter (which luckily does not include me) amounts to approximately 500 people!
They are being brought forth from the police dept, the sheriffs office, the Circuit Court judges (and their court personnel), the county DA's office, the office of the State Public Defender, and all state community corrections offices in this county. The county courts are being closed on this date so all may attend. The community corrections offices will be left with a bare bones staff, but continue running. Any who miss the training are expected to attend the next session.
The second installment will be in my county and I am sure will amount to close to the same number of sheep. I pray they will run out of grant money before that happens...Baa-a-a-a-a.
The content of the training they're subjecting us to is the worst part. It is called "A Breakthrough Dialogue on Race". It is being presented by Roberto Almanzan Associates, CA. They use a 90 minute film titled "The Color of Fear". Of course, I had to check all of this out on the Internet and boy did I discover some interesting things.
First, if you google "A Breakthrough Dialogue on Race", you get nothing. Absolutely nothing! Hmmmm...Strange. Second, if you google "The Color of Fear", you find lots of commentaries on the film. On one webpage, we learn the film is about 8 minority men who come together and, "reveal the pain and scars that racism has caused them".
Here you can even view a trailer for the film. The trailer has just left me speechless. Here is one quote, "The cure for the pain is in the pain." HUH? Well, I am telling you it pained me greatly watching this disastrous trailer, and it didn't get any better the second time through. The cure was NOT in the pain for me.
A second website says, "the participants challenge the privileged status of white Americans and recount their anguished experiences with discrimination."
Now coincidentally, one of the "actors" or should I say "participants" in the film is Mr. Roberto Almanzan! Remember that name? "Roberto Almanzan, Associates" is the group presenting the training. Gee, I'm sure there is no prejudice in that presentation. Also, I am just wondering if Mr. Almanzan gets any kickbacks as an actor/participant each time "The Color of Fear" is played.
And I have to wonder, why it is always *the white man putting down the minorities*? I mean don't you think there are some other ethnicities that dislike each other? I would think some Hispanics dislike African-Americans, perhaps some Asians dislike Hispanics... How come no one ever brings up these discriminations (if they exist)??
Bottom line, this is a waste of time and money. A waste of YOUR money. It is a *federally* funded grant. Yes, we taxpayers are paying for this wonderful "education" about how eeeevil the white folk are. So chime in you "wicked" people and let me know your thoughts. Oh, but I don't want to be discriminatory, if you aren't wicked, please feel free to leave your comments also. :)
They are being brought forth from the police dept, the sheriffs office, the Circuit Court judges (and their court personnel), the county DA's office, the office of the State Public Defender, and all state community corrections offices in this county. The county courts are being closed on this date so all may attend. The community corrections offices will be left with a bare bones staff, but continue running. Any who miss the training are expected to attend the next session.
The second installment will be in my county and I am sure will amount to close to the same number of sheep. I pray they will run out of grant money before that happens...Baa-a-a-a-a.
The content of the training they're subjecting us to is the worst part. It is called "A Breakthrough Dialogue on Race". It is being presented by Roberto Almanzan Associates, CA. They use a 90 minute film titled "The Color of Fear". Of course, I had to check all of this out on the Internet and boy did I discover some interesting things.
First, if you google "A Breakthrough Dialogue on Race", you get nothing. Absolutely nothing! Hmmmm...Strange. Second, if you google "The Color of Fear", you find lots of commentaries on the film. On one webpage, we learn the film is about 8 minority men who come together and, "reveal the pain and scars that racism has caused them".
Here you can even view a trailer for the film. The trailer has just left me speechless. Here is one quote, "The cure for the pain is in the pain." HUH? Well, I am telling you it pained me greatly watching this disastrous trailer, and it didn't get any better the second time through. The cure was NOT in the pain for me.
A second website says, "the participants challenge the privileged status of white Americans and recount their anguished experiences with discrimination."
Now coincidentally, one of the "actors" or should I say "participants" in the film is Mr. Roberto Almanzan! Remember that name? "Roberto Almanzan, Associates" is the group presenting the training. Gee, I'm sure there is no prejudice in that presentation. Also, I am just wondering if Mr. Almanzan gets any kickbacks as an actor/participant each time "The Color of Fear" is played.
And I have to wonder, why it is always *the white man putting down the minorities*? I mean don't you think there are some other ethnicities that dislike each other? I would think some Hispanics dislike African-Americans, perhaps some Asians dislike Hispanics... How come no one ever brings up these discriminations (if they exist)??
Bottom line, this is a waste of time and money. A waste of YOUR money. It is a *federally* funded grant. Yes, we taxpayers are paying for this wonderful "education" about how eeeevil the white folk are. So chime in you "wicked" people and let me know your thoughts. Oh, but I don't want to be discriminatory, if you aren't wicked, please feel free to leave your comments also. :)
Friday, February 25, 2005
ROAD KILL GUMMI CANDY
Kraft has come out with a new gummi candy line - road kill animals.
Snakes, chickens, and squirrels are featured as flattened animals with little tire tracks running over their bodies. They're awfully cute!
I bet you can't guess who is having fits over this...
That's right folks, calling all animal rights activists! Animal activists are calling for Kraft, the maker of these candies, to pull them from the shelves immediately.
Apparently, the activists believe that these candies will send the message to children that 'it is okay to hurt animals'. HUH?
Personally, I get more upset whenever I hear that cute little commecial for goldfish crackers..."..goldfish, yummy little goldfish, the crunchy snack that smiles back until you bite their heads off." So how many kids now think it is "ok" to bite off the heads of their pet fish? Everytime I see the happy, dancing children on TV singing that little tune, I get the creeps!
Kraft has already retracted some cute cartoon they had on their website advertising the road kill candy. Okay, even as I was composing this, I just found another update.
Kraft is pulling the product. Talk about bowing to pressure here is the statement given reference their retraction of the product, "We understand how this product could be misinterpreted, and we respect that point of view," Trolli Brand Manager Jim Low. Again, all I can say is, "HUH"?
Snakes, chickens, and squirrels are featured as flattened animals with little tire tracks running over their bodies. They're awfully cute!
I bet you can't guess who is having fits over this...
That's right folks, calling all animal rights activists! Animal activists are calling for Kraft, the maker of these candies, to pull them from the shelves immediately.
Apparently, the activists believe that these candies will send the message to children that 'it is okay to hurt animals'. HUH?
Personally, I get more upset whenever I hear that cute little commecial for goldfish crackers..."..goldfish, yummy little goldfish, the crunchy snack that smiles back until you bite their heads off." So how many kids now think it is "ok" to bite off the heads of their pet fish? Everytime I see the happy, dancing children on TV singing that little tune, I get the creeps!
Kraft has already retracted some cute cartoon they had on their website advertising the road kill candy. Okay, even as I was composing this, I just found another update.
Kraft is pulling the product. Talk about bowing to pressure here is the statement given reference their retraction of the product, "We understand how this product could be misinterpreted, and we respect that point of view," Trolli Brand Manager Jim Low. Again, all I can say is, "HUH"?
BLOGGER AWARDS
Okay, I'm a newbie so maybe you all know about this, but if you don't...
Apparently, Blogger gives out awards each year for different blogger website catagories. Unfortunately, the voting is over and winners have already been chosen for 2004. However, Blogger does have up all the winning sites, and you can go here to view them.
Bou - I see there is a "Best Food Weblog" and one of the winner is titled "Cooking for Engineers"
Under "Best Topical Weblog", there is a winner (and I do mean *winner* with tongue in cheek) called "Treehugger". If you are having a bad day and need a good laugh, I went to the site and found lots of amusing things.
Speaking of humor, Jon, just for you there is a category of "Most Humorous Weblog" with a winning blog of "Go Fug Yourself".
Personally, I really liked the category of "Best Tagline of a Weblog", one of the winning sites is called "Random Acts of Reality: "Trying to kill as few people as possible..." Felt like I was back at work reading that one :) Unfortunately, I did stop at the site, but didn't see anything very interesting after a brief perusal.
SO, if you don't have enough to read, check out some of the winners!
Apparently, Blogger gives out awards each year for different blogger website catagories. Unfortunately, the voting is over and winners have already been chosen for 2004. However, Blogger does have up all the winning sites, and you can go here to view them.
Bou - I see there is a "Best Food Weblog" and one of the winner is titled "Cooking for Engineers"
Under "Best Topical Weblog", there is a winner (and I do mean *winner* with tongue in cheek) called "Treehugger". If you are having a bad day and need a good laugh, I went to the site and found lots of amusing things.
Speaking of humor, Jon, just for you there is a category of "Most Humorous Weblog" with a winning blog of "Go Fug Yourself".
Personally, I really liked the category of "Best Tagline of a Weblog", one of the winning sites is called "Random Acts of Reality: "Trying to kill as few people as possible..." Felt like I was back at work reading that one :) Unfortunately, I did stop at the site, but didn't see anything very interesting after a brief perusal.
SO, if you don't have enough to read, check out some of the winners!
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
TNT HAS EXPLODED INTO THE BLOGOSPHERE WITH A BANG!
SOUTHERN WISCONSIN, Feb. 23, (AP) - Gang Bang that is.
TNT, the blogger formerly known as "Smiling Dynamite" and commentator formerly known as "Beloved Wife", of Smiling Dynamite fame (okay short-lived, but still...) has been born. She is the result of the Bad Example family reunion gang-bang event. Many activities have been purported to have occurred there, but the only one on record is this one. Everything else is just vicious rumors – even the llamas!
TNT “thanks”everyone for their warm welcomes and for all suggestions given regarding her place in Mr. Example’s blog family. It was hands down (or "hands on" depending on your view point) a "gang bang" birth. Class Mishaps did honorably offer to adopt TNT; however, that seemed just a little too tame for the Bad Example family.
TNT, the blogger formerly known as "Smiling Dynamite" and commentator formerly known as "Beloved Wife", of Smiling Dynamite fame (okay short-lived, but still...) has been born. She is the result of the Bad Example family reunion gang-bang event. Many activities have been purported to have occurred there, but the only one on record is this one. Everything else is just vicious rumors – even the llamas!
TNT “thanks”everyone for their warm welcomes and for all suggestions given regarding her place in Mr. Example’s blog family. It was hands down (or "hands on" depending on your view point) a "gang bang" birth. Class Mishaps did honorably offer to adopt TNT; however, that seemed just a little too tame for the Bad Example family.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
NUMB3RS
Speaking of TV shows, has anyone seen the new show “NUMB3RS” on Friday night? A very smart mathematician professor helps his detective brother solve crimes using numbers and how they can be transmuted. (The professor, played by David Krumholtz, was also the head elf in "The Santa Clause" movie.) Very cool show. Last Friday, however, they used words like “prime numbers” and “exponential degrees”. Sigh, they are so doomed.
I am sure most of their viewers scratched their heads with a glazed over look last seen in grade school, popped open a beer, and switched to a "Jerry Springer" re-run. *BURP*
I am sure most of their viewers scratched their heads with a glazed over look last seen in grade school, popped open a beer, and switched to a "Jerry Springer" re-run. *BURP*
APPRENTICE ABOMINATION
No – not the show, the college grads. For any non-Apprentice fans, this edition has pitted a group "book smarts" (college grads) against a group of "street smarts" (no degree). The street savvies are kicking the butt out of the college grads.
Last night “Michael” a true abomination of a human and, conincidentally, one of the "book smarts" finally got the boot. It was a LONG time in coming. The man was a complete lazy, loud mouth jerk!
After a contestant gets fired, they always get one last camera mug to say a few words. I knew Michael would open his mouth and insert his foot again, and he did not fail me. His parting words contained two back-to-back phrases which fully solidified his status a total dumb-ass! He stated, “Dealing with morons and idiots...it was a very unique experience dealing with people like that.”
Oh yeah, score one more for the “book smarts” college grads. “Very unique” that's one of the pet peeves of Beloved Husband and I. Something cannot be “very unique”. A thing is unique or it isn't. There is no degree to uniqueness. Michael might as well have said “I is a college graduate”, probably would have sounded more intelligent.
Good-bye Michael, you moron, and good luck - you'll need it!
Last night “Michael” a true abomination of a human and, conincidentally, one of the "book smarts" finally got the boot. It was a LONG time in coming. The man was a complete lazy, loud mouth jerk!
After a contestant gets fired, they always get one last camera mug to say a few words. I knew Michael would open his mouth and insert his foot again, and he did not fail me. His parting words contained two back-to-back phrases which fully solidified his status a total dumb-ass! He stated, “Dealing with morons and idiots...it was a very unique experience dealing with people like that.”
Oh yeah, score one more for the “book smarts” college grads. “Very unique” that's one of the pet peeves of Beloved Husband and I. Something cannot be “very unique”. A thing is unique or it isn't. There is no degree to uniqueness. Michael might as well have said “I is a college graduate”, probably would have sounded more intelligent.
Good-bye Michael, you moron, and good luck - you'll need it!
SLEEPING LIKE A QUEEN
Despite only getting approximately 4 hours of sleep, I slept like a queen. Why? Because Tammi of Road Warrior Survivor is a mattress marvel.
She knows everything inside and out, on top of and underneath mattressess - even LATEX! If you doubt me, go here to read the incredible description of Tammi's new mattress. After staying at her place during the Mr. Bad Examples family reunion, we knew we could never go back to our miserable mattress. She told us the secret of Thera-Form. It is a life (and back) saver. We finally got around to putting it on the bed last night. It is wonderful. Try it, you'll love it!
UPDATE: Our pets can't seem to get enough of the mattress pad either!
She knows everything inside and out, on top of and underneath mattressess - even LATEX! If you doubt me, go here to read the incredible description of Tammi's new mattress. After staying at her place during the Mr. Bad Examples family reunion, we knew we could never go back to our miserable mattress. She told us the secret of Thera-Form. It is a life (and back) saver. We finally got around to putting it on the bed last night. It is wonderful. Try it, you'll love it!
UPDATE: Our pets can't seem to get enough of the mattress pad either!
BLOG ADDICT
This could be bad. Last night I had a sleepless night. This was by brain before I had a blog site:
This is my brain now:
Notice a difference? As I was trying to get my minimum functional requirement of 6 hours of sleep, all these little blog blurbs kept running through my head…
Oooh, that's a good idea...
Or, I could use that angle for the story... (look at clock 5 hours of sleep left to be had)
But what will I title it?... (look at clock 4.5 hours of sleep left).
Yeah, I guess I'm addicted.
This is my brain now:
Notice a difference? As I was trying to get my minimum functional requirement of 6 hours of sleep, all these little blog blurbs kept running through my head…
Oooh, that's a good idea...
(look at clock, 5.5 hours of sleep left to be had)
Or, I could use that angle for the story... (look at clock 5 hours of sleep left to be had)
But what will I title it?... (look at clock 4.5 hours of sleep left).
Yeah, I guess I'm addicted.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
THE MIGHTY QUOTE PEN SAGA CONTINUES
More quotes from the Mr. Bad Example's Family Reunion...
"I' m Daddy's favorite." Teresa of Technicalities (this quote was heard OFTEN!)
"You wanna sit on that??" _Jon of We Swear
"I'll blog with you." Teresa to _Jon
"Its too BIG!" Tammi of Road Warrior Survival
"We're cutting the Johns off!" Tammi
"I will commence the slathering." Tammi
"Who likes cutting dead things?" _Jon
"Just stick your fingers in it and see if its warm." _Jon
"It grinds my groin." Harvey
"Shut up and eat it." JohnnyOh of Closet Extremist to Harvey
"If I take my eyes out, I can't see!" JohnnyOh
"What flavor is this bad boy?" JohnnyOh
"Did I wear you out, baby?" JohnnyOh to Smiling Dynamite
"Bondage bear, you're with me!" _Jon
"You can't ever get as low as Tammi." Teresa
"We'll just shove it in there." Teresa
"The head on that bad boy was disproportional to its weight." Tammi
"If I have to drive any big nails, I'm screwed." Tammi
That's all on the family reunion quotes. Now, on the home front, I suggested to "Beloved Husband" that I could regale all my readers with day to day quotes from him... but he was less than excited at the idea. Well, maybe I'll just covertly scribble down a few - you know just in case I ever have a day like JohnnyOh's - God Forbid!
"I' m Daddy's favorite." Teresa of Technicalities (this quote was heard OFTEN!)
"You wanna sit on that??" _Jon of We Swear
"I'll blog with you." Teresa to _Jon
"Its too BIG!" Tammi of Road Warrior Survival
"We're cutting the Johns off!" Tammi
"I will commence the slathering." Tammi
"Who likes cutting dead things?" _Jon
"Just stick your fingers in it and see if its warm." _Jon
"It grinds my groin." Harvey
"Shut up and eat it." JohnnyOh of Closet Extremist to Harvey
"If I take my eyes out, I can't see!" JohnnyOh
"What flavor is this bad boy?" JohnnyOh
"Did I wear you out, baby?" JohnnyOh to Smiling Dynamite
"Bondage bear, you're with me!" _Jon
"You can't ever get as low as Tammi." Teresa
"We'll just shove it in there." Teresa
"The head on that bad boy was disproportional to its weight." Tammi
"If I have to drive any big nails, I'm screwed." Tammi
That's all on the family reunion quotes. Now, on the home front, I suggested to "Beloved Husband" that I could regale all my readers with day to day quotes from him... but he was less than excited at the idea. Well, maybe I'll just covertly scribble down a few - you know just in case I ever have a day like JohnnyOh's - God Forbid!
DADDY, WHERE DID I COME FROM?
Blogfather (Mr. Bad Example) and I have been tossing around ideas as to my place in the blog family. Harv's favorite is sort of like Venus - I just arose in beautiful and fully formed perfection out of some body of water (perhaps the pool at TammiWorld?) to become Blog Mother to all.
Personally, I prefer one of two ideas: First - Rather like Freddy Krueger, I am the bastard daughter of 1000 maniacs or Second, I am the incestuous result of a family gang bang (that being the Bad Example family reunion).
I think I will leave it for the readers to decide. Please chime in with your favorite of the above three or if you can come up with a better idea...
Personally, I prefer one of two ideas: First - Rather like Freddy Krueger, I am the bastard daughter of 1000 maniacs or Second, I am the incestuous result of a family gang bang (that being the Bad Example family reunion).
I think I will leave it for the readers to decide. Please chime in with your favorite of the above three or if you can come up with a better idea...
Saturday, February 19, 2005
THE MIGHTY "QUOTE PEN"
Anyone who was at the family reunion understands the "quote pen". However, for those of you who were unable to attend, a brief explanation. The first two days in TammiWorld, I just sat back and enjoyed all the wit and hilarity that was around me. However, after two days, I realized that this highly entertaining humor should be documented for posterity. (Coincidentally, this enlightenment came upon me shortly after _Jon of We Swear arrived in TammiWorld. I'm sure there was no connection.) :)
The following is a list of quotes that came out freely and under no duress from the lips of various attendees at the reunion. I will allow those of you who were not there to form your own background context of how these utterances occurred. You just don't know what you missed, but I will try and make you even more jealous....
"I would never pay for it." Tammi of Road Warrior Survival fame (and your hostess at TammiWorld.)
"Just shove it in there." Johnny-Oh of Closet Extremist
"Your knees are mine, bitch." Harvey AKA Mr. Bad Example
"Anything that sits in my lap gets hot." Harvey
"Blow me." Harvey to _Jon, who replied"I don't return favors."
"It's like a guy on Viagra that didn't work - it went soft" _Jon
"Get on that thing and stay there." Johnny-Oh
"I just feel like f***ing around with my guitar." Johnny-Oh
"I was f***ng around with it last night" Johnny-Oh
"You suck" Harvey to Johnny-Oh, who replied, "Tits, clits, and bottles of beer." At the beginning of Johnny's statement, Bou of Boudicca's Voice.... walked in and innocently asked Johnny-Oh, "What's that? Things you haven't seen?"
Johnny-Oh's favorite alcoholic drink(s) was "liquor, chaser"
to which _Jon replied, "I used to do that all the time.", and Harvey chimed in with, "If you lick her right, you don't need to chase her."
"I've never seen a woman blow so well." Harvey
"How do you get your post up when you're that slow?" _Jon, to which Harvey replied, "You can't get your post up when you're that drunk."
"Do I look more sober in a Ninja stance?" The Great Frank J of IMAO (worship him!)
"I love you man..." Frank J to Harvey to which Harvey responded, "I am so flinging meat at you if you say that again."
"When I met you in person, I found out that you weren't as much of a jerk as I thought you would be." Frank J to Harvey
"I blew the cake...a girl's gotta have her fun when she can!" Tammi
"I don't know why the Christians are so mad at the Jews for crucifying Christ, because he wound up getting resurrected. No harm, no foul." Frank J
"I have the quote pen." Smiling Dynamite
"I'm f***ing crazy, but I'm not psychotic!" _Jon
"I don't want to move twice again" SarahK of mountaineer musings to which Harvey replied, "Just once...then lie there."
"Don't be sexy, I'm wearing my dual 45s." Frank J to SarahK
"Shut up!!!!" Frank J to potted plant
"I was not taking God's name in vain...I was just using it in a joke." Frank J
"I'm a sucker for a rear view!" Tammi
"We were doggie styling all over the bottle." Harvey
"Its too early for quotes." Smiling Dynamite
"You don't sit on your balls?" Harvey to _Jon, who replied, "No, not at work."
"I've gotta go down...let me finish." Tammi
More quotes will follow. I think you heads are spinning enough for now. Remember this was all real conversation tidbits, albeit a little out of context.
And don't worry folks, I have ordered Tammi to put the "mighty quote pen" in a safe spot so it will be ready for the next family reunion!
The following is a list of quotes that came out freely and under no duress from the lips of various attendees at the reunion. I will allow those of you who were not there to form your own background context of how these utterances occurred. You just don't know what you missed, but I will try and make you even more jealous....
"I would never pay for it." Tammi of Road Warrior Survival fame (and your hostess at TammiWorld.)
"Just shove it in there." Johnny-Oh of Closet Extremist
"Your knees are mine, bitch." Harvey AKA Mr. Bad Example
"Anything that sits in my lap gets hot." Harvey
"Blow me." Harvey to _Jon, who replied"I don't return favors."
"It's like a guy on Viagra that didn't work - it went soft" _Jon
"Get on that thing and stay there." Johnny-Oh
"I just feel like f***ing around with my guitar." Johnny-Oh
"I was f***ng around with it last night" Johnny-Oh
"You suck" Harvey to Johnny-Oh, who replied, "Tits, clits, and bottles of beer." At the beginning of Johnny's statement, Bou of Boudicca's Voice.... walked in and innocently asked Johnny-Oh, "What's that? Things you haven't seen?"
Johnny-Oh's favorite alcoholic drink(s) was "liquor, chaser"
to which _Jon replied, "I used to do that all the time.", and Harvey chimed in with, "If you lick her right, you don't need to chase her."
"I've never seen a woman blow so well." Harvey
"How do you get your post up when you're that slow?" _Jon, to which Harvey replied, "You can't get your post up when you're that drunk."
"Do I look more sober in a Ninja stance?" The Great Frank J of IMAO (worship him!)
"I love you man..." Frank J to Harvey to which Harvey responded, "I am so flinging meat at you if you say that again."
"When I met you in person, I found out that you weren't as much of a jerk as I thought you would be." Frank J to Harvey
"I blew the cake...a girl's gotta have her fun when she can!" Tammi
"I don't know why the Christians are so mad at the Jews for crucifying Christ, because he wound up getting resurrected. No harm, no foul." Frank J
"I have the quote pen." Smiling Dynamite
"I'm f***ing crazy, but I'm not psychotic!" _Jon
"I don't want to move twice again" SarahK of mountaineer musings to which Harvey replied, "Just once...then lie there."
"Don't be sexy, I'm wearing my dual 45s." Frank J to SarahK
"Shut up!!!!" Frank J to potted plant
"I was not taking God's name in vain...I was just using it in a joke." Frank J
"I'm a sucker for a rear view!" Tammi
"We were doggie styling all over the bottle." Harvey
"Its too early for quotes." Smiling Dynamite
"You don't sit on your balls?" Harvey to _Jon, who replied, "No, not at work."
"I've gotta go down...let me finish." Tammi
More quotes will follow. I think you heads are spinning enough for now. Remember this was all real conversation tidbits, albeit a little out of context.
And don't worry folks, I have ordered Tammi to put the "mighty quote pen" in a safe spot so it will be ready for the next family reunion!
THE FUSE IS ONLY HALF LIT
Just as a foreword, this is a site in progress. "Smiling Dynamite" will get better. (I don't know about the writing, but the esthetics will get better.) I know you are all dying to hear more about Mr. Bad Example's blog family reunion in TammiWorld and I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer.
