What have I done in 2012

Daddy (the fake one) posted his list about 2012 on his wall. So it makes me reflect and think what have I done in 2012. It's actually a sad thing that I couldn't really recall except for the recent OCIP trip in Ben Tre.

I could remember that last year during the start of the year, I just came back from my 4 month exchange, from Canada. It was a good getaway time, and I came back, feeling very refreshed and energetic to meet the challenges of the new year.

- learn Korean 1 and 2 within the year
- attained my personal best term GPA in my university life in the second semester
- interned at RP and got to know more about working and studying life in the polytechnic
- handled part time work, tuition, CCA, and study at the same time
- went for my first OCIP trip in Vietnam and that marks the fulfillment of my 3 goals I made before I entered uni.

and of course, I still have yet to finish my 3 and a half goal :(

What's new for 2013?

I have no idea... just see how it goes :)

Reflections from ISP

It has been 4 days since I am back and a super long time since I have updated. I wanted to blog about my feelings before the trip but I was so busy packing and letting myself have enough rest. So I shall say more about my feelings here. Mind you, it's gonna be a long long post and perhaps I will keep on typing until I end my shift today :)) (nothing much to do here anyway...)

We have done many reflections, sharing, reflecting on essay during the trip. But I guess, those channels are somewhere for you to provide politically correct answer and not offending anything or other people.

Right before the trip, I still don't know many people in the trip except for a few closed ones, and a few okay ones. So it is kind of awkward feeling when I was at the airport. I stood there, don't know what to expect, with my mum, and waiting for my close friends to arrive. I am already beginning to feel that, I may not be able to blend in with the rest of the people, because I am not the chattering type who can chatter all the way about kpop, leisure, play and all, right from the taking off of the plane til the plane touched down in HCM... But oh well, that was my first impression.

We reached Ho Chih Minh City and met the 4 Vietnamese volunteers. They were very nice and helpful on the first look. Then we went to YMCA for a short orientation, met the SP and other volunteers and found them very interesting as well. And then, we had our dinner on an open space on one of the levels of YMCA. Their building is kind of "not as developed" but has those feel when I was in Tampin (my mother's homeland in Malaysia). And eating dinner under the night sky, with the cool breeze is super "got-feel". I like! and the food was good too!

Next we checked into our hotel in Ben Tre where we are going to stay for about 10 days. Frankly, it is already a luxury for us volunteers, to be on an OCIP trip staying in HOTEL. I doubt other people on OCIP stays in HOTEL with WIFI. Well, I hope I was on those trips staying in the village, with very bad conditions, having to do laundry and cook your own meals that kind. Err, no comments because YMCA is very concerned with our safety too. And still, we have people complaining about no water heater, room too small, air con very cold.... all sorts of funny nonsense.

And then the service begins for ten days at Le Tho Xuan Primary School. With a day or two in the middle for home visits. I am personally not very good with kids or I should say, don't have particular love for them (not when I see cats haha!), or interacting, playing, bringing smiles to them all the while, because I am personally not a cheerful person and that kids will be drawn towards cheerful, smiling, humorous people? Well I don't know, but I am particularly patient with them if I were to teach them something. That's also a little weird about me, I have been interacting alot with kids since I entered university, in RSPHI events, childcare and other events. But I guess nothing has changed in me, well, I hope this trip will change me a little.

We have been swopping classes, seeing different kids from grade 3 and 5. We have a few familiar faces, but we don't exactly teach the same children everyday. It was fun teaching the children but can be tiring at times especially bringing them out for games. The vast difference I see in the children here and in Singapore is that, they are not afraid of responding in class, be it wrong or correct, they are always willing to raise their hands and answer questions. Unlike in SG, even if we pinpoint a certain student, he or she might be unwilling to come up and answer questions, well, I don't know for primary schools but that's certainly the case in Singapore. The kids can be very notorious too, I remembered a particular class where they imitate one of our volunteer to bang on the wall, and then wanting to flip the table, use ruler to hit on another girl's head and cry... throwing paper planes all over, very dramatic. I guess because of language barrier, we aren't able to control the class but I think, language barrier is not an excuse. We could do something more.

Playtime with the kids can allow you to forget whatever problems you have, in the hustling buzzling city life, away from all sort of funky technologies. Just playing with a bunch of people, chap-teh, five stones, zero point, the running and catching the leaf game, and hopscotch... alot of games that don't require technology. and of course the all-time favourite volleyball. I enjoy playing it with the kids, however, it is quite a pity that I didn't get a chance in volleyball because all the players are too good. This playtime session with them during breaks really re-discover my childhood times in Tampin playing with my village neighbours and my cousins too, that same atmosphere, that same environment, that same feeling. But of course, this is in the school's court. A little bit different from how frequent we use to play badminton by the roadside, sometimes at the badminton court at the temple. And how we have to let the cars pass first before we continue playing, and how frequent the shuttlecocks got up the roof, or got into other people's houses and that stopped the game to find another shuttle to continue playing. They are mostly guys so I seldom play zero point. But chapteh and  five stones are definitely. However, the children here played the real stones and they played with six. So, I kind of forgot the rules and also difficult to find the feeling back again. I am never good at those games haha.

There was also once when some of us took out origami paper to keep some of them occupied. My particular favourite girl taught us how to fold roses. And also, I taught them how to fold cranes and turtle, and fold for them too. Never did I thought that they love it so much. In particular, I remembered this A+ boy in my chaotic class, knowing and understanding whatever that was taught for that day. He was there and he wanted me to fold a rabbit for him, but the instructions were so bad that I couldn't figure out exactly that it was trying to drive at. Both of us really figured a long long time and it took us no words to communicate with each other, just gesturing. So I got to realise that, sometimes, language is no doubt important, but not the only way to communicate. Finally, I figured out the rabbit, but I still think it is not of the correct method to do it, at least the boy got his rabbit and was so delightful for it. That was the time I felt my sense of satisfaction and achievement.

And then there was this issue of judgement brought up by Keqin that I wanna address about. I found sentiments in whatever she shares and I would like to further emphasize on that. Everyone has their own biases and favourites. We are all humans, and this is reality, yes I believe that. In a class or in anywhere with a group of people, there are bound to have lovable ones, the sporty ones, the naughty ones, the shy ones and many more kids with different but unique personalities. We can't just focus on our favourite ones and ignore the others, that's what I believe most people do. But for me, I tried to reach out to the other kids who are not gaining the equal amount of attention from other people too. I still work on this principle alot, but, I also fell into my own trap too. I also have my favourites too because one is super pretty and caught my attention, and the other is cheerful and works hard to practice his English. However, I don't particularly show my favouritism and attention onto them because I know, there are also other kids who don't stand out but just needs as much attention as those who stand out too. Humans always make this same mistake. Also, I think Fiona brought up a good point of judging the kids. There was one particular boy whom she mentioned that was naughty all the time, so Fiona refuses to let him hold the teaching materials while she was carrying them to class. Never did Fiona thought that the boy actually wants to help him carry to the table for her, and not playing with it. I guess this simple act taught most of us a lesson too, not to have the first judgement of every kid as this might affect your own other intentions and behaviours.

Construction was fun. I like doing work haha, can sweat out more in hoping to lose weight. However, we are having too much good food that it seems impossible for me. On the first few days we help out at carrying stuff using sacks. Well they don't really have wheel barrows so we have to settle for this method. Then, we painted the school gates. It was fun but can be tiring because we have to go under the sun. But I like it alot, and chatted with friends at the same time. Painting takes alot of skill and patience too. Then, lastly, it was the wall murral and I am glad to have some contribution in it for the design. Ultimately, I didn't contribute in the drawing of the dinosaurs but in the alphabets too. But particularly angsty at this incident whereby our original design for it needs to be "patented" and so, cannot use for the murral. Well, just, what is this? What do you want? Why didn't you say earlier so we could settle for something else the night before when we are discussing it. Okay, just something that needs to be ranted out and I don't understand why such things can happen in an OCIP trip. Another incident was, I was happily and quietly painting the outline for this wall and suddenly somebody just stomped in and shouted, "Hey don't outline this it's super ugly!" Don't you feel very wronged as this instructions were passed down by the boss. And, to the person who said this to me and drawn the board, the board wasn't very nicely drawn in the first place, the proportion wasn't right. You can ask me to stop outlining but could you please do it in a nicer way, and maintain more eye contact with me?
Other than this, I really enjoyed painting the murral and wants to get it nicely done within the deadline, I guess some people sense my urgency haha!

On Sunday, we went to visit one of the homes and it was a nice experience. I love doing this and I have always watched in shows, especially the ones Pornsak is in. Home visits are just the best way to really understand the lifestyles of people living in the place. How we walk down the plantation, and trying how to cut the coconut, seeing and tasting all the fruits of their plantation. I like... my kampong neighbour also always ask us to go and see their plantation and he would introduce us to the different things he planted e.g., chilli, vegetables, fruits, and sugar canes(and I miss the bananas he planted and those are the world's best small bananas! The best taste). Anyway back to topic, we also fed the fishes and ride the motorbike (from a policeman) around the area. I hopped on to Xin, wow, she's only 18 and she knows how to ride. That's so cool. But I think that's something they should learn in Vietnam because bike is the common mode of transportation. Even in Malaysia too. But, it is very dangerous. Then, we just walk around, ate lunch. We ate with some of the owners, and they are actually teachers of Le Tho Xuan primary. It was kind of awkward but interesting as we depended on Xin for the translation. I feel kind of bad when we got to eat first instead of the elderly and owners there. I feel even more bad for sleeping in front of their living room where they place their ancestry tiles and they even offered us the mats. We did nothing but to lie down there and enjoy the beautiful weather. Actually, we did nothing much too. I find that I could have just explore more of that area. Oh, I guess I spend more time looking at their domestic dogs and cats, and a caged bird. haha! I just like the kind of life they have. In my grandmother house, I also sleep like that at the living room without locking up the gate, and enjoy their weather and scenery in my peaceful nap. Yes, in front of the religious stuff too. The house we visited was not too poor, their living conditions were still okay and well off to be able to host us too.

We did a dance in part of the closing ceremony on Wednesday to mark the completion of the day care centre. The dance to "Just the way you are" was choreographed and led by Fiona. It was really a good job done by them but, there are still attitudes and comments that displayed their unwillingness to cooperate. As a team, I think we should work together to make this event a good one, even though it was something last minute and impromptu. I am super lousy at dance but thankfully, I manage to do it too.

There was a particular night that some of us went to the fun fair after shopping at the supermarket near our hotel. We purposely took a walk back instead of cabbing when the fare is very cheap only. I never regret this decision as we could explore abit more in the town. Took photos with the nice statue opposite it. And caught some rides in the funfair near that. It was so fun on the round viking ship and also the bumper car. Ouch, got a bruise on my left leg and Keqin's on the right leg because we bump so hard into each other! Relieving our childhood memories again. I love fun fairs!

There was also a particular night where some of us went to the Karaoke in the next hotel and I was surprised that their rooms are soooo big and spacious! A big TV screen, with a stage on the right and had some disco lights, and a super big semicircle couch for ten over of us to sit. Including a big space in the middle. At the side there is this super big rest room for you to use. Sadly, their karaoke has only classic English hits and Vietnamese songs. But we had a fun time singing and especially waiting for the system to rate our singing. We sang many children songs, and also YMCA where we just shout "Young Men" and "Y-M-C-A" and got so high scores for them. All in all, I had a nice time with this bunch of people.

Time flies and Wednesday comes and it is our last class with the kids. Most of the people definitely miss them especially the two friends I know haha! They have been emo-ing and emo-ing for days. Well for me, I miss them, but not emotional to that extent! I admit I am emotionless haha, when it's time to move on, move on. However, I do fall at times too :P They are too nice and wonderful and that, I will always remember them in my hearts and memories. Maybe because 10 days is still quite short for me, a slow person to be open up fully to them and also to interact and forge more strong bonds with them. Whatever it is, I had my fun time here! I may look very emotionless but deep inside, I am truly happy to meet you all. Thank you kids from Le Tho Xuan Primary for a wonderful lesson in my life!

The "last" dinner at school was also very memorable and worth remembering when the principal came to each of us with a shot of rice wine. It was good haha... it has been a year since I last drank a shot of wine. We ate a little late that day and couldn't see what we are eating too. The average time for sunrise is about before 6 and sunset at around 6. It is just a nice feeling to set up tables and chairs at the school court yard and eat our meals with everybody. The teachers cook for our every meal and I am appreciative of that.

Kind of miss the feeling of waking up to sunrise and also to the nice river by my window in Bentre. We left Ben Tre for Ho Chi Minh for R and R. I like R and R as I can see more in Vietnam besides their schooling life. We went to Mekong Delta River for a two hour boat discovery. I enjoy taking the boat, it is not very shaky as I had expected, and particularly love the smaller boat because only 14 of us can sit there and we can have a nicer time together and smaller boats go faster and windier! Also, there was a little boat ride manually rowed by the villagers there. This reminds me of the boat ride we had in San Frans when I keep rowing the boat in a wrong position and direction, and then got laughed by my other three friends hahaha! I tried almost everything on the island, except the python... AHH!!! Actually, the id in me tells me to go and try but, in the end I didn't because I am very afraid of snakes or anything that looks like that, I don't want to get goosebumps or nightmare after that.

And then to War Remnants museum. I didn't know much history about Vietnam war, and also not when I go to DC and look at the Vietnam War memorial. Well, I guess I must go read up. And, never did we thought we could meet a friend there who was at Vietnam for GSS. We wanted to meet up in Ben Tre but couldn't. And so lucky enough to meet there, right at the museum haha. Had a great catch up too :)

Dinner was very good, like seafood for most of the dishes. In an awesome place with the director of YMCA. And don't know why Last Christmas plays non stop from the slowest and oldest version to the more fast and modern version everywhere we go.

Then, we wanted to chill at night at some pub but the plan was changed to massage! Cool, I wanted to try massage but dare not, and no friends to go with, and too expensive. Now, finally have the chance to try and it is not expensive. We had a 90 minute package and had a nice time. I must say the masseur was very professional and they are so young. Those around me keep asking us not to laugh not to laugh but we ended up laughing. I feel so refreshed and good after having a massage. Would definitely try it again in other countries! Heard BangKok one was good. 

The next day was Cu Chi Tunnel, a great 1 plus hour ride from HCM. It was enjoyable seeing and trying out the many holes and tunnels to go and hide. Especially the main tunnel, it was tiring but exciting! Was also bad , but a miscommunication for Dinh to carry my bag throughout the tunnel when it was Sin who ask me to put down my bag at the entrance! A great experience after all! Also, ten girls had our tries and the rifle shooting. Was afraid of the sound but it was okay haha!

The highlight of the trip was Ben Thanh Market. Well, I don't personally love shopping but I want to get some clothes and coffee for myself and parents. The stall owners there was kind of scary and aggressive when I thought they were supposed to be nice and friendly? Hmm, they will just grab you and ask if you want to buy and how much can you pay for it, and they will not tell you the price. One of my guy friend was getting the hang of bargaining but was also constantly harrassed by them too HAHA! There was a particular incident when MJ has already bought the shirts at the price he wants, and then later one of my friends came and wants to get the same price as MJ too. But the seller does not want to sell her at that price too. Maybe that's the style of selling and buying, the price should remain confidential. Anyway, in the end, the seller walk to us after buying, not far away to come and return the money and does not want to sell the shirts to us anymore. She rejected our money and wanted to get back her shirts. Well, seriously? err...

I just don't feel like shopping at this kind of environment anymore, very tiring, though you could get things really cheap. But I also enjoy looking at my friends bargaining for a 5000 cheaper, 10000 cheaper... when that amounts to a few cents in SGD. Different standards of life. That's very amazing.

We chilled at this cafe call PMG Art Gallery Cafe before we had our dinner. It gives me the same feeling as Group Therapy Cafe that I went with Phong and Deric. Then one table played truth or dare while waiting for dinner to be served and carried on the game of "Kiss, Shag, Marry". OMG. my first time knowing this game but I think I heard some people playing it somewhere before. And they got really super high performing all the stunts and dare. HAHA! Well, me, Marcel and Mabel Tan are lucky enough not to be at that table. But most of the time laughing away and concentrating on other things at the same time :P I chose to drink beer that day, just for the reason that it costs the same as mineral water. And all the other drinks look so sweet to me. Interesting decision.

The final morning, we went around walking to some places for quick photo taking before we depart for home. We went to Notre-Dame Cathedral and Post office. Initially some has doubts like, what's nice to see at the post office but, it never crossed our minds that post office could be very traditional and cultural place to visit. Many tourists go there! As for the Notre-Dame Cathedral, we witness some new couples taking their wedding shots there, and also having their solemization ceremony there. Sweet! Oops, I can't stop comparing but the ones at Montreal was a WOW.

14 days passed really fast and we finally, have to depart for Singapore. We all had a great time in our own ways. And the hardest thing to do is to say goodbye to our wonderful Vietnamese volunteers who played and work hard together with us for the past 2 weeks. We all  really really forge close bonds with one another, laugh alot together, slog out hard together. We got to thank them alot for taking time off their busy schedules and accompanying us here and there during the nights. Particularly, Yen, the staff who have spent most time with us during R and R, and also spend alot of time with me and Mabel talking about alot of things under the sun. Thanks for believing in us and if not for your company, our trip won't be as fun as we thought. Sin, you are so cute and young, but blur at times too haha! and oops, I can't stop imitating you for "What you want?" "I can't believe!"... Dinh, thanks and so sorry for carrying my bag walking through the tunnel. But you are very awesome with kids and also, admirable for your energy and passion in volunteering! Mark, thanks for being so friendly and also, I can see that you tried very hard to communicate with us using English. All the best!

I can just say that, this 14 days is kind of special for me, as this marks the end of fulfilling my three and a half wishes I made before I enter university. Though this OCIP may not be the really hard core one that I want to experience, but it certainly left my university path with a deep footprint. Though there are bound to have mishaps here and there, like how I could not, at all, communicate with some people in the trip due to my personality. I enjoyed it alot, also, due to the wonderful friends I made in the trip.

The Siva Sisters: I enjoyed talking to you all as there were just no barrier between us. Though we sometimes speak a different tongues but our minds think alike. I think that is more important than speaking the same tongue but minds don't think alike at all. I also enjoyed the times at service when we work together, chatting about other things too. Hope you two have a great time in the trip too and such a pity that you didn't join us for some activities we could have done together!

F and F: What a perfect duet you all made. I did not know you two very well initially. Really of zero communication but as time passes by, me and Mabel got really close to you and we definitely enjoyed the B times together over supper the shopping, the massaging, and the fun fair! You gals will definitely be busy after the trip but I hope we can still meet up and our friendship can last!

Mabel Ng: My dearest roomie haha! I got very used to calling you Mabel Ng so please bear with it haha! The activity after facilitation session was not a very nice time to tell you my heartfelt words because the whole thing was just so funny. Anyway, I am really grateful for you with me in the trip and forging a better bond between us with the rest of the people, and within us as well. If without you I guess the trip would not have been so exciting and funny anymore with your htht sessions every night. I believe I know you more and better after the trip, after sharing much stuff with me about you. I bet you also know a little more about me as I shared my story with you. I am not an easy person to be known, okay, I rephrase, knowing and understanding me as a person is not an easy task. I think I am not easy to get along with too HAHA! I don't show my feelings that often, I don't smile, neither, I don't cry, that often. But thanks for being understanding and nice all the time and sharing with me whatever your thoughts. I am also grateful for someone like you, and being in a circle of friends who share the same level of thinking and interest during the trip. Thank you so much!

I think even after the trip, I will still continue to be myself, well at least, I knew myself better and who I want to be. I will not change to fit my ideal self, but change for the better. But, what I learn from the trip, will never be erased and will continue to put into good use when I return to Singapore. Thank you Vietnam!

jug ah jug... walk also cannot walk properly. everyday sure bump on something in the house. house also not so small. so big space you also can bump. everyday lor, confirm guarantee chop.

see also cannot see properly. everytime ask u see something u take like so long to see that thing.

eat also cannot eat faster. one cup of yakult can drink for 10 mins...

type in handphone also cannot type properly... haiiyoooo

haiyooo.. whats wrong with u ah...

oh no.. it just came to me that i need to sit with the coughing guy tmr again for exams..rahhhhhhh

Father mistreated in the house

Father: Got visitors. So I shall sleep inside the (master) room, and ah girl (referring to me) sleep on the floor.
Me: !!!@@#$%^&**^%#@ (What? I'm having exams and you ask me to sleep on the floor?)
Me: HUHHHHHHH...... looks at mum.
Mum: What? YOU sleep on the floor la, you have already slept half your sleep in front of the TV and wake up SO early. (in cantonese)
Me: (Phew!) Ya lor, I having exams leh. Now, YOU (points to dad) sleep on the floor!

Haha! I didn't mean to be rude, but this was just a casual conversation extracted in my daily house family conversations. I feel alittle guilty to occupy the master room since my room's aircon was spoiled, plus the fact that my dad doesn't like aircon (he is a desert person), I shared the bed with mum in order to.... save electricity. And having exams was no big reason as to why I shouldn't sleep on the floor, it's just, of course I prefer to comfy bed right!

And I just went into the room and...

Father: So I sleep on the floor? ( Was already preparing to sleep)
Me: YES! YOU, (points at the dee-lam) sleep on the floor.

:P

Sometimes, people don't have to do things to follow the norm right? or 麻木地跟从别人做的事。
Well anyway, two interesting tweeks today.

One group of friends tell me, "Eh! Wah, very rare to see you joining us for dinner tonight." (cuz I always disappear together with the sun everyday)

Another group on twitter, "Why do you so school on a Saturday?" Hmmm, Saturday, still can go to school right? HAHA!

Today someone told me,

美丽的东西是要花时间去欣赏的.

他真是让我有种错愕的感觉...

It has been a long time since I last heard such 感性 statements, though we are only referring to a pencil case. -_-" 

But suddenly, this words struck my heart and mind and set me into thinking. I don't know why... 

是真的这样吗？如果一个东西很美，你第一时间就能断定他是否美，还是不美啊。 如果美，就花多一点时间欣赏，了解。如果不美，你还会去在乎吗？那就有点不公平了，世界本来就是不公平的。。。

HAHAHA! My mum gets so high and dance to gangnam everytime I played it on my laptop...

And she never fails to sing along everytime I play it hahaha....

Hope she can be more careful and don't ever hang clothes out again... I don't want things like that to happen to her, it's so worrying.... 

It has been the second third Friday since I become emo for the whole Friday, wasting time and not doing anything. Dwelling over things or thoughts that I have experienced, or come into mind for the past days in the week. This time, I am really overwhelmed by the people in my korean class. I really think our presentation is not outstanding at all...

which is why I always say, Friday is not a good day for me. It's a day when I always get emo for no good reason. Well, anyway...

for the past few years, and until now when I am soon to become a graduate, it's kind sad that I, til now, don't  really know who I am yet, or what I really want to become, I lost my identity, my feelings, and my motivation too. Or have I been reading too much into psychology? I still reminisce the great times during JC where I freely enjoy the times spent with my friends and teachers. I guess this two years are almost unforgettable in my life. Well, uni, I have made great friends too but I still frankly, do feel alienated at times. Is it the problem with me for my neurotism? Or have I been too soft spoken, afraid to stand up and give my opinions, and much more afraid that people wouldnt  accept me? This is some thing that I have been pondering for very long, and still pondering until now...

I have not seen myself laughing heartfully since a long time ago...

朋友，也许，你的想法真的跟我一摸一样。

I never felt so stressed before. And I am so stressed doing this 3 minutes powerpoint presentation. I spend endless days trying to fit theories into this person. But it just never seemed to get it right. When can I stop doing all this?

I have one essay, one lab assignment to be handed in, one midterm to prepare for. And one more presentation script to be prepared and handed in. Now, everything was stucked because of this presentation... and I am so helpless now. Who can I turn to for help?

I guess it's just everyone's strengths and weaknesses are different. And everyone's working style is different. They can just blabber about anything in discussions while I can't do that impromptu. I should say Arts and Sciences students are different. I can spend days and days reading the same chapter but they could just spend 2 hours. I can spend a long time working on an assignment but ended up with a low grade but they can spend 3 hours and score full marks. The world created us to be like that. I should just stay as a Stats student :) (although most of the time I don't know what the prof is talking about)

Why is it that most of the time, I feel very dominated by my team members in whatever groups I work with? Is it the problem with me for being to soft or reserved? Or most of the time I feel difficult to input whatever is going on?

Like I was telling my mum, why is the world so unfair?

I ate many vegetables and fruits, avoid fast food at all costs. Why do I still fall sick so many times as compared to those who ate mac and chocolate possibly everyday?

I also tried to exercise more than people who don't exercise at all, well, at least not that much compare to those who exercise regularly. Still, I fall sick quite often.

My mum says, your whole body lacks unhealthy stuff to balance it. So once you eat unhealthy stuff, your body reacts to it and you fall sick. So, not eating unhealthy food is wrong too :(

OMG it's today it's today!!! And I am still coughing... Aiyo very scared. Faster over! Good luck for my presentation later ;)

Seriously, why did I go sign up for it??? Now the thought of it is so overwhelming... My id is acting over my ego. Rahhhh... I really don't want Thursday to come!! cough until like that, maybe that's a sign...

这午睡，仿佛走进世界的另一端。。。也不算是另一端啦，就是另外一种体验！

I love sleeping during sunset... cuz I am always tired at that hour, so I let myself set together with the sun. HAHA! I am always dreaming about eating. I saw myself living near the sea port, and a ship stopped by the port and the sailor caught so many "hum". Me and my mum just hopped onto the ship and eat sooo many hums, and cockles and mussels. They are so fresh! Okay, if this were to happen in real life. I bet those "humdicts" will kill me if I told them I had endless hums. :P 

After that, little snapshots happen. Some scenes were kind of spooky too. But nevertheless, I had a great time during my two hours of nap. Shuts, I wonder how am I gonna fall asleep again. 

It grows increasingly awkward to go surprise and celebrate people's bday, and also wish people Happy Birthday in a group and everyone starts to wish that person Happy Birthday too...

That's very superficial, of me, when I started the ball rolling sometimes, or, most of the times...

I don't mind, but I mind...

我到底是个怎样的人呢？

我到底想要做个怎样的人呢?

有谁能告诉我？...

Yesterday my Dad asked me: So what are your future plans?

I looked at him, "huh?" 

Are you planning to move out of the house and live alone?

Oh my god, for what? unless I get married... why do I wanna move out and stay alone, and occupy one whole house, when I can stay with my parents as long as I like til I get married and start my own family? 

Very funny question...

Til the day I come when I get married... 

I really had loads and loads of fun in my recess week. My bestest recess week of all! Though I didn't have solid time to study during my recess week.. but I think I should make the best of my uni life and play hard first.. uggghhh.. not a good example haha!

Saturday: brunch with my cousin, so long never see her and wonder how is she like, especially when she injured her leg so seriously. And it's so long when our parents meet up. Bought a dress for myself for coming AAD cuz I realised I had no proper dress (such a depressing wardrobe). Then I went for two tuitions in a row. Totally exhausted. Was looking forward to a meet up with my bears but my dear mum flew us kite... AHHH!!! nevermind, I went dinner with my family and went to support my mum's friend's son in the 猜灯谜 session and I managed to guess one correctly! It's kind of amazing!

Sunday: IDD! International deaf day. Met fellow HI seniors for the event. We were taught line dance in the morning. It was kind of easy to catch, at least for me, as compared to other sessions. Then it was the performance in the auditorium which we personally felt it was kind of screwed up especially when the results were announced wrongly. and the GOH were made to go up and down many times especially when they were sitting at the centre.

And then we rushed off to the east at bedok. We ate like so many times at the hawker there, breathing in alot of satay smoke. It was a nice hang out with the rest of them. And I was looking forward to reminsince my childhood lantern days but it didnt succeed. Oh well, I had a great time playing but.. the next day.. it's gonna be a new person. I'm gonna fake freshie!

Fake freshie was fun, but I couldn't join the senior craze. But it was a good getaway to reminscince my junior days too! But really wanna laugh when the fake identities were again and again, mixed up. Had a great great time. Then my identity was exposed by one of the freshies whom sixth instinct is really so good. Then the next day, I was finally exposed by the seniors who wanted to make up an 8 number team but there was only 7 of them. Nevertheless, I had a fun time playing frisbee and standing under hot sun too...

Then the next day, was work and tuition. Then met my mother and I vented out hundred dollars for shopping  for myself. Feel kind of shiok, didn't shop so much. I just feel like buying things though, and it's those I really need.

then the next day again was work too... Went back home for a sleep cuz I am coughing very badly. another day wasted.

Friday comes. Met my sec sch friend for a simple lunch near home. Went back to study, then was AAD. Wah, my heels really very pain... shouldn't have wore it in the first place. (didn't study much again)

Saturday. Today! I woke up late. Then I met uniy people for a preevent y-dance. We got to know more about the ID community, which is something to freshen up my experience with ID ever since IV. We taught them gangnam style dance and also played games with them. I kind of like the experience though. I feel we should treat them the same as we do treat normal people.

Then it was BBQ. Wah, alot of unhealthy food. hAHA! then another day burst.

I am left with a day to study for a midterm and a quiz. Heng the quiz is not accounted. But, I need to study for my midterm as I am going to watch the Yoga concert and going for tuition too on Monday.

jiayou!

What is today? Today is a day of remembrance when 22 years ago, mum suffered a cut on her stomach. And 22 years later, mum again, suffered a burnt on her stomach too. Is there a sign or something?

Therefore, I have decided to... forgot this day... for the rest of my life.

yt, my best friend, I am really touched by your actions and the only one who remembers this day. I really hope our friendship will last forever. love ya and 谢谢你 for everything you done. 我从来都不知道跟一大群朋友庆祝生日是怎么一回事。。。

在人生当中，一旦做错了事，或走错了一步， 就不能再回头，回到过去了吗？

可是选择离开，久别了遗憾。。。

What's wrong with me again?

Seriously wasted my weekend doing nothing constructive... Have to deal with all my negative emotions again.

I won't go back to this salon again...

Did my hair offend you? Why do you just have to criticize my hair as though it is like oil spill on the grass?
Need to comb until so hard meh? And want me help me wash my hair cuz it's like damn oily to her?

*Giving me many "advices" when she asks me to choose what kind of hair I want, I have already chosen it and she talks somemore, but your hair blablablablabla.... cannot like that, if not blablabla... THEN YOU STILL ASK ME FOR WHAT?
Worse still, I have already replied her what I want

Her: EH, 你还没有回答我勒，你的前面要怎样剪？
Me: HUH?  我刚才不是早就跟你讲了？
Her: 哦有meh？哦可能刚才讲话讲话忘记。。。
Me: ..... *FROWNS AT HER*

And she can just continue talking and pulling my hair for 10 over seconds, want to talk go and talk la.. open business for what?

Nevermind, when scrubbing shampoo on my hair, she said, "很痛的hor?"
Okay lo, nevermind I can tolerate..

During washing, I think she sprain her finger.. tsk... nevermind

After washing, CHEY! Also not pain lor.. I have experienced more shiok message than hers...

I think she knows I'm black faced liao.. so she is nicer in her tone...

But, still, continue talking about me to my mum...
"I see her, like, never want to doll up herself one hor?"
(wah lau eh, Yea, I don't like, but how can you judge your customer like this?"
"Wah, she studying ah?"
"Eh, she don't look like you hor? (to my mum), look more like the father" (you got see my father before meh?)
"Wah only child? Precious leh..."
Eh you interrogator ah? Ask so much about my family... wonders why my mum is still chatting happily with them....

She wants me to look at my hair, so I wore my specs... then waited awhile before she is ready to continue..
“Eh，眼镜拿掉！？！" Wah so rude leh..
I just replied her "Sorry!"

After everything else is done... she swept the whole bunch of hair down to my legs and just go "Sorry sorry!"
Didn't help me clean up the mess, make til my shirt is full of hair.. What kind of service is this?

I'm not a problematic customer at all. This is the first time I get so fed up with this person. Not because of her working style or what. But why say so many things to judge me when you first time meet me? And openly criticise me in front of other customers, my mum, and the salon people... I had a bad experience about that, and totally cannot tolerate that.

That's my personal grudge on this particular person, no offences..

As I reached home, I saw my dad's phone charging in my room.

Me: DADDY!!!! Why you charge your phone in my room??????!!!!?????
Dad: Then why you take away my charger????!!!???
Me: *Paused for a while* Oh ya.. :P

I'm so blur I didn't even know I charge my phone this morning using his charger and brought his charger to school too. HAHA! What a joke...

What a nice way to end the week :)

I thought it would be a tiring day ahead. but I had a fulfilling day today:) Thanks to all the wonderful friends!

One random thing, I finally saw my cookies and cream cat today. Taken this photo some time ago but so cute isn't it? I always call her doong doong because 뚱뚱해요 (doong doong hae yo) means fat in korean. Okay, I'm just crazy over fat cats so ignore me ya. HAHA! This is my favourite in my estate. She camouflages with the ground isn't it?

And I was on time for my lesson today, finally I reached before the teacher opens his mouth and talk! Not bad, good improvement.

Lab today was kind of fun, the lecturer is so good that he already did us the codes and the image 4. We just have to revise and understand it. Then, he ask us to produce the image 3 for him. Everybody is so excited finding the nicest 3 out of the 200 images. I found one nicest but everyone else behind me copy cat ah.. HAHAA! And I chose the one that resembles the McDonald sign.

Nice lunch with my coursemates after lab session. Probably my last sem with some of them cuz some are graduating soon. Really hope to interact with them more before the sem ends. And nice xiao long bao today (though I didn't manage to snap a photo)! this salmon tama is nice also (at least 1001 times nicer than foods in can A and B)

Then joined RSPHI pple at SRC for badminton session. I think I played really shiong today. I feel my arm aching liao. Nice game with all of them today.

After that, I went to north spine to get this 1-for-1 starbucks coffee, salted caramel mocha & frup. Specially asked for mine without whipped cream. unsalted and hot. Nice drink! And the queue wasn't long. Just nice in time for HY to come from work and join me for Yu KeWei's concert.

Brought hy to Palette for dinner. (As there are no nice foods in NTU main canteen) I ate my marina spag again. Just enjoyed tomato based.

We walked to LKC after that and there was already a long queue waiting to enter the LT liao. And this was before the concert started.

Ivy was out. Wow golden hair. I still remember she was at this LT when shen mu yu tong was here two years ago. Everyone laughs at her laughter. Rather epic moment too!

The star is out! Her dress is nice!

So nice, they gave us light sticks.

I was so happy she sang the theme song for xili movie and also 指望！Just so happy she sang this song which is my favourite song too!

Nice meeting up with this friend too :) Glad she enjoyed the concert!

What a nice way to end this busy week. Time to catch up on my studies and my midterm next Wednesday.

HAHA it's a fulfilling day today.

Was in class today and a friend suddenly call me to see a cat named pancake.. HAHA! How funny, I think next time I see pancake, I will think of this cat liao... Sorry ah, I'm just crazy about cats :P

Met a friend for lunch and we chatted about some stuff. I was thinking that if I were to try and join comm two years ago, I think, things were be a little different. I was kind of regretting after having a chat with another friend, that, I didn't even try running for it. But nevermind, 都过了那么久了... Things may be different then. I would have gained experience and friendship, but, time and energy would be gone too. And I think I would be quite stressed up too haha. Give and take. Anyway, time to move on. Really glad to have this friend still by my side and listen to my woes and smiles. It's very rare to still meet this kind of friends with me.

Went for physics lecture, and those guy friends were sitting with me. Glad to have them around too. And I was quite surprised that this guy whom I always sit with, was from Indonesia. But he is so localised liao!!!

Then I went for psychology lecture, was still kind of surprised when a girl behind randomly said to me, "Hey your file is so cute!" Wow, it's just a spoilt Hello Kitty file I used 5 years ago and I am still using it, "Haha! But it's so kiddish!" Interesting people I met in psych.

Then I saw this two friends on my way back, sitting with me in the same tutorial class. Then, got to know that this girl, was also from Indonesia but she is also so localised liao!

Conclusion: met two very localised Indonesians today. So, new immigrants can make it to integrate to our society!

Still so surprised now haha. I think I am very lucky today to meet so good people this semester especially when I am alone for three modules. Blessed!

Have a nice week ahead ya?

I just wanna exclaimed...

I think my AHMA is faster in any way than the computers in school...

HAHAHA!!!!

Identity Crisis

We had an interesting lesson with my psychology class today. Well, at least it is interesting to me as compared to other lessons I got. At one point, we questioned ourselves if we were facing any crises during our adolescence years. We pointed out the fact that most of us, in fact, we should be facing identity crisis.

Many of my group members raise the problem of being conforming to peers. HAHA, I guess this is also my biggest problem in life too. Conform or not to conform?

I didn't want to conform in the past, and never want to. I just enjoy doing things that I like. And so it raises the issue of me not getting accepted by my peers. And then it questioned me again, am I suppose to conform just to get accepted by anyone. I really don't know, it just puzzled me...

Even until now...

I don't have much things to talk about, and remember me about... much less to say identity. In searching for one... the way I express myself to people, the way I talk to people, the way I carry myself to different kinds of people, it just based on my first instinct. Should I say I tone down already? Hmmm, I am like a lost sheep.

Final year liao still lost? How can? But at least, I know what I like and I am satisfied with what I have now. And I am, well, a little little bit more confident in the past. And a clearer view of my strengths and weaknesses, okay maybe not so much about strengths, but weaknesses which I will work on.

I guess when I really start work, my personality will surface even more. Sometimes in certain occasions, you will just tend to behave in a certain way that you want others see yourself in, but that is not the true you. This is where the dilemma comes in. You want others to accept you but at the same time, you just want to be true. How to be true and accepting at the same time? Are people born with this kind of personality, or is it shaped by environment?

Although I have fully stepped out of the box, I think I still can't get over my experience as a teenager. So I turn towards my academic achievements, though not so good, but not so bad either. Which was where I am today. I was just kind of curious how would I become if I were to be in a slightly different school and social environment. A fortune teller once mentioned that I tend to split hairs, which I think it is true. Some things could not be forced. Let nature takes its course. Is it cuz of this constant reminder to myself that "I cannot split hairs I cannot split hairs" deter me of doing certain things? Perhaps, I think too deep and too much of what certain things I do and certain things I say.

The biggest flaw I had with me was, 有些事情，你很想去做。但你又怕会做不好，弄巧反拙，或者没有做到最好。还是我的要求太高了？还是别人的要求比我更高？我不知道。先别管这些，做了在说。Sometimes it is also to constraints that I have. I need full concentration on that certain one thing I wanna achieve. Overloading me kills. HAHA!

在父母面前，你要做一个好孩子。我不觉得我那里好，但也没有坏到哪里去。
在老师面前，你要做个好学生。我不觉得我是用功的，但也没有叛逆。(okay, at least in uni context)
在朋友面前，你要做个好朋友。Anyway this is very subjective. Acquaintances everywhere. I would say I put up rather similar traits in front of them. But slightly different reactions and interaction way to each different groups, cuz the social environment is different. Say, I behave like a baby or like a grandparent in front of my parents. and more childish in front of closer and older brothers like dong and phong? I behave more casual and neutral in front of my woodlands seniors. And more cheek-ish and trying to be lame or conforming in front of my woodpeckers. Erm, perhaps more studious and initiative amongst my course mates. As for colleagues or people whom I work with, more "wanna-avoid-troubles" kind of relationship. And now, as a fake freshie, more introvert (as how I am like, exactly the same 4 years back) and noob - and I think I am no difference from where I am 4 years ago. A whole new experience again.

Okay, the more I analyse myself, the more I think I have personality disorder liao! HAHAHAHA!!!!

I, just wanna be normal. Stop dwelling and getting occupied over this matter and return back to your normal work and life. You haven't been doing work for the past donno how many days.

I had this mentality that, 外国的天空都总是比自己的天空漂亮.. the things, the sceneries and all, will always be better than our own country. Not til when I came back from a place around 15 000 kilometres away. I have always enjoy nitty gritty things of other countries and their places... but, why don't you take a step back and look at your own country.

I did realise that, falling leaves are really simple and amazing in any part of Singapore, like those trees beneath my house. We don't have to go somewhere so far away to realise that. Our sky at dawn are pretty amazing, my friends on instagram always post amazing sky photos in SG! Bird flying around chirping everywhere and anywhere, making the environment more lively.

Take a step back, and a step slower, to realise the simple pretty things in your life, at your home with your heart :)

A friend shared with me so much of his travelling experiences, and his thoughts and opinions...

How I wish I could find a bossom friend to go travelling with me! I don't dare to travel alone!

I always have been, and always still, very inspired by travelling shows and how my mother always exclaims in front of the TV whenever she sees something nice in other countries, even at small things like the fishes jumping above water, and also how nice she claims the mountains, the water, and the sky is...

and especially those that pornsak hosts... HAHA!

What a fulfilling second day in school!

As I reached the pioneer bus stop, I don't even have to go down the stairs to join the queue for the shuttle bus. It queues all the way up to Cake history. MH saw me and we took the same bus to school. Wow, I didn't know that the queue could be so crowded until other passerbys have to stare and laugh at us.

I wanted to reach by 8.30am but I reached at 9 instead. Along the way, a student approached me and ask for directions. She is an exchange student from Germany and doing her third year in NTU. She doesn't know where is LKC so I brought her there. Wah, so happy to help someone and exchange students too! I enjoy talking to exchange students cuz I'm one of them before!

Bought my Mr. Bean and reached the Chair's office, again, I went to the wrong side of the building and ended up getting lost in the building again. Hai, but I managed to be on time. First day of work was rather okay. Fumbled a little bit when I don't know who to call and certain things I do not know how to answer. Some students are just very impatient lah. Then, this R made my day. I was looking at a student's appeal form for overload where he wants to overload 22 more AUs of electives. 22 AUs MORE! on top of his current 19 AUs, that makes it 40++ units? Siao... I was stunned looking at it and wondering if there is any mistakes. Then suddenly R run out and ask for my name, and he said, "Are you here since morning? May I know your name?" "Oh... I like the way you respond to people!" Then I stunned again, but smiled, and then he ran back to the office and told everyone about my name. HAHA! That's only my first day! But I'm glad to receive such compliment. Will continue to contribute there. Kind of sad that I only know this working scheme during my final year. Else I could have work more during my undergrad days. Nice to meet new people today.

Then I went off for my next physics class called intro to solids. The prof is kind of interesting but didn't upload anything even during lecture. Went then I know that he introed the outline and pass on to another visiting lecturer to talk more. I think this module is gonna be abit on content? But I think should be okay. My last minor mod. A friend contacted me and ask me to do a birthday favour for another friend. Went to chit chat with him and I flew off to north spine to meet another friend, wanting to share more about insurance again. I was so hungry and the marina spag was so nice. Then, he explained to me alot more. actually I don't know myself. I know I wanted to get insurance but the amount that was required was too large for me to handle right now. Drag on and ask my parents at night about it and got their disapproval. So ya, end of story.

But anyway, after meeting him I rushed off to buy my new laptop. This is the first time I didn't decide alot before buying something expensive. The laptop was quite light and slim. All done within 15 mins. Then I went for my lesson and I think quantum lecturer was interesting and made all efforts to explain something physically and showing alot of demonstrations. No wonder so many people turn up. After that, waited for the friend again to fetch me and my laptop home.

I think I didn't really explore properly the laptop. Just a haste of buying during this roadshow. I don't need a so expensive one, but this laptop I'm buying is an ultrabook which doesn't have a DVD drive and other external docks. Luckily, in the free gifts they gave, I still have everything. But kind of weird without the DVD drive thing. Nevertheless, I think it's a good buy given that I'm a final year student and won't have such privileges soon.

my wonderful 14 weeks of summer break at RP

kind of emo the whole of this week that I'm leaving this wonderful place of people (except for one that irritates me all the time).

I think the working environment is even better than in PJ, I'm more close to the colleagues there. Or it is public sectors are more protected, so better environment? Well, I am just dead lucky.

We were in E2 for my two weeks, then shifted to W6 pod. I would say it is a good shift afterall as I get to interact with more people at a glance, instead of in closed up cubicle tables where I don't get to talk around.

I really have fun, most importantly, with this people around. Here are some of my truthful words, and also casual words without any constraints being bounded. Still, there are certain platforms that I shouldn't write too much except for my blog :)

KW: My Sup, you look so damn young when I first met you in the interview room. Very interesting person who always walk pass my seat one thousand and one times whenever he is in the office. For some reason I don't know why? Go refil water? Brush teeth? Eat fruits?
And he loves to call me 小姐 and always give me fruits.. Hai, make me feel so paiseh. I'm not princess leh :( Just a little xiao mei mei in the office.
Just glad to be under him and I explored many areas of curriculum and problem packaging. Though abit of sykang to work here and there. At least, I did more things ...
Thanks for chatting with me about your work experience, definitely wonderful to hear. I will surely keep your words in mind. I just can say, your EQ is very high! Still haven't get to ask more about your personal life ah.. haha!
It is also interesting for us to celebrate birthday with you, with HL tricking you to come for a problem briefing...
Why are you so busy? I seldom get to eat lunch with you leh...

KH: My 偶像！Seriously, if you are 13 years younger? Oh gosh, what am I thinking? Haha! You are just so nice! The nicest person on earth! The heavenly people of all compared to your intern (hmmm...)
you brought us around, have lunch with us whenever my sup is busy entertaining other things. I think I ate lunch with you the most number of times. The first time when he offered us a ride to the station, we were so paiseh. But as time goes by, he keeps offering me rides whenever it is time to go home. Scared I become too reliant liao. There was a particular week he drove me 3 times!! How nice! He always ask me, "Going to the station?" I nodded my head. Then say, "Let's Go!"
And then you always ask me funny question, like,
为什么你还没有走？
因为我还在这里咯。。。
为什么你还在这里？
。。。
-_-"

It is always very amusing for you when I keep asking, how come you so late and then he will reply just two words. Guess what is it...



老婆
eee.. so 肉麻
and he always mentioned 老婆 instead of other terms like "wife"... So sweet hor? In my imagination, his wife should be a very very very pretty person! And I was right (after looking at fb pictures)!

I literally treat his cupboard like my own playground. I will go there to weigh my weight cuz he has a weighing scale (and he said he is going to charge me for that! :P), then he once took out abacus for us to play cuz once we discussed about it over lunch. Then his cupboard got many other things like chains (you have to think of ways to separate the chains), and also rubics cube and bricks to form into a cube. Haven't got a chance to play finish :(
Thanks for exposing us to many new things like AMC workshop and advanced math mock test discussion. It's fun to lecture in front of so many people.

And this person's math is just so suuppeer dupper talented! Hai, I wonder what he eats...
Just found out that he has a very very interesting hobbie. A nature lover, but I didn't expect it to be so interesting! HAHA! Everytime I ask to help solve a math question, I turn one around, he is already helping me to solve! So nice!!!

I think if I were to stay longer in RP. He would be my best colleague!!!

Mr. Ho: Cuz you are senior in the school. So I have to watch my words. But after hearing that you were almost DD in another company. I was so surprised. Wow! It's fun to hear about your study and employment journey years down the road. And sharing with me about your stats and math experiences in work. And thanks so much for always asking us to go down with lunches tgt with you!

V: Aiyo, your laughter really very contagious can? The nicest and friendliest female colleague around! Don't stay up in the middle of the night to work liao! I always see u awake at like.. 4 am? Do take care of your health and your two little girls.

KH: Boss, that line was really very funny coming out from you on my last day of work. Frankly, I am quite afraid of you haha! If I were a student and see you in school, I would just faster run away and hide.. HAHA!

Mi: Mimi is also very funny! Nice to work with you in A211 and esp during my co-faci with your class. After seeing you eat the hot chick noodle. I went to try and it was really nice! But somehow, the vendor doesn't sell it anymore :(

HL: HL is so cute leh... she just treat me like her sister. Taking photos of me infront of the students in the LT. I just think she resembles someone! I love talking to her cuz it feels like Im talking to her as a close buddy rather than a colleague. She just make me feel at home in RP.

J: It's nice to know that you come from South Africa, doing research in a university. How is it like to be in Singapore? I hope you feel at home here! It's nice talking to you and I hope we will keep in touch.

JS: Thanks for sabo-ing me in the first revision workshop ah... And you haven't bring me to the prison yet. But oh well, thanks for the one and only bubble tea treat :) You really look like my ex-mentor when I was teaching in PJC.

KL: Though we are not linked in terms of work, but you sat infront of me and I love talking crap to you all the time. And listening to your zi yan zi yu everyday is sometimes amusing. It's also super funny when everytime somebody walk past and you will call out to their chinese names. And once, called out my sup's chinese name. LOL!!! There's somehow no form of border between our conversations and I can just ask any question under the sun and you will walk to my table and chat with me. Very nice colleague! Too bad I didn't see you on my last day of work. But I hope you will remember us should we bump into each other on the streets. (And stop getting into troubles liao... )

HH: Nice to meet you, the closest neighbour to me! You always make me hungry when I smell your chao mee fen some mornings of the week. I love chatting with you whenever I feel too stressed and stuck up at work.

MY: Eh, I just realised you were the teacher of my cousin! Your sms ringtone may seem too cute for people at your age ah.. HAHAHA! It's particularly funny when I always doze off accidentally alittle bit. I wake up, turn around and saw you sleeping more than me. See, the Z monster always attack us at the same timing. Doctor leh. I hope this 3 months, I have absorbed as much essence from you by sitting behind you! I feel so honoured to be asked a stats question by you! TSKTSK. And your conversation with my EC is so funny leh!

EC: you really look very young as an RP educator. Til I know on the last day that you were a fresh graduate! From the first day I moved into the office, you were already coughing so seriously, til my last day. It's kind of sad to not strike a conversation with you before. How I wish I get to sit at another table. Cuz you really have quite EC looks! And one day you just sat on my chair using my table full of mess ah.. so paiseh... my chair and table is always in a mess. (but very honoured la) You how old, got gf liao, then the other one got wife liao. still look at other girls... So funny lor, I want to burst out laughing that day. You should go and see some throat doctor soon! And now, my table is vacant. Feel free to use hor.. HAHA!

Just to share with you all some interesting episodes with people during my stay in RP here.

Actually, my conclusion after working with the colleagues. They really have very very happy family lives. So, is it a good place for retirement? HAHA!

Miss you all! Til the day I come back again...

Rants

Dreading friday to come even more. I don't wanna leave yet. Can I stay longer?

But one good thing is, I won't have to see this particular person everyday anymore. I wondered how much appetite I have in school, to face him eat my yummy lunch. and I managed to finish it. How surprising. How frustrating it is everyday.

I was telling Seokxian how lucky am I to meet this colleagues

which senior will ..always shout, "Eh! lunch time liao! 吃饭吃饭！" and then happily go eat with you.
which mentor will.. always drive u to the station ... and no need to listen to whether you agree or not, and just say, "going to station? Let's Go!" and let you treat his workplace like your own "wellness centre"
which sup.. will.. always one day after another.. keep giving u fruits until you forget, put til rotten and finally throw away, and won't get angry but laughed even more when you tell him that I throw away his fruit...
which teacher will... treat u drink bubble tea.. when i just did my small favour, and big big cup somemore..
which colleague will... "eh i help u take photo la, u go show ur prof"... in front of the students in the LT
hahaha, I think the last one is funny.
and which director will treat u fine dining... to welcome u as an intern..

all this nitty gritty things, brightens up my days here.

oh and which colleague, sit just 3 metres away, got no link to you at all, will get up and walk all the way towards you (3 metres only) and listen to you to ask stupid questions...

Like what my sup say, it's kind of protected environment, people are nice. Not til when you go outside to the private sector and experience that kind of environment. It's sometimes, too good to be true.

I had a very very worth it 30 mins session with him, to hear his feedback about me. And seriously, perfect. I was expecting something negative. But he told me, I have to be more aggressive, citing some examples in the future. I can only say, his EQ is very high. I quite enjoyed listening to the things, and experience I shared with him, in that enclosed 4 walls room. When some people just say, "huh? 有什么好聊的？"
Ignore that, I stll think i gained a very wonderful lesson. He just treat me as a peer and share alot of things to him, but I have yet to ask him about his personal life , wahahaha.. but aiya, I know his demographics lah, he just passed his 37 bday, got a happy family, 1 wife 2 kids. was my "donno how many seniors in NTU", previously lion dancer. Okay secret conversation. He just makes me feel so heartwarming that, I don't wanna leave this place.

Then on tuesday, went home with another colleague who just did her hair for hope. and she shared with me her views on it. Interesting.

Today, I met Grace, coincidentally she is teaching in RP. She is my YOG in charge. And she shared with me alot of her experiences in industry. Sama sama conversation like my sup. And I feel that they really learn alot in private sector. Wonderfully, I have another friend in another school in RP. So cool!

Thanks so much everything that RP gives me!

anyway, was so engrossed in my thoughts that I missed my station. I went out, and thought I would leave the station by taking hte train, then I realise, this train goes to Clementi. OMG, what am I thinking about? I went back to the train I was from... wah... what a foolish person on earth leh...

I just cant stop feeling emo-ed about the fact that I'm leaving RP so soon, in just 4 days time. But at the same time, happy with the fact that I don't have to face this particular person everyday again.
I really have wonderful colleagues here, each and everyone of them. But, that aside, being stucked in a comfort zone for too long is not a good thing. After having a great chat with my sup, I have to be reminded of certain stuff and advices in the future as an working adult. Thanks for sharing with me such a wonderful working experience you had.

Hai, can Friday not come???

See, I have been emo-ing from the start of the day.

epic printing experience at RP

This is so epic. Let me share with you my epic printing experience at RP.

I wanted to print my report cover page, that’s only one page with colour. I went to the self help printing room, send my job, and I didn’t know how to release it. I thought they said colour printing only available at west entrance which I don’t know where is it. I send my job again at another room. Then found out that I just have to use their userid instead of my username. So, I release my print job and paid for it using ezlink, and at the same time, I deleted the old one.

And again, the paper didn’t come out of the machine. I went to another room, this time round with a lot more machines, and the paper didn’t come out from there neither. I went down to ask for help at the entrance counter, they directed me to the printing shop with the auntie there. I waited awhile as there was a queue, then I told her about my situation. Coincidentally this indian man came and the auntie asked me to follow him. I told him I released the print job at w6. Went in, found there wasn’t anything out but 1 paused print job for colour printer, that was my job. Then, he led me to the second printing shop I went to just now, and said, “Oh! Sorry not this.” But it’s okay, I did try at this room also. Then he directed me to that room full of printers. Found out that the colour printer isn’t working as the tray wasn’t shut properly. He tried to shut the door with full of effort. And I tried to send my print job again. This time, I couldn’t even send my print job because as I click “print”, it shuts down my pdf document. Because the money has been deducted from my ezlink, the man tried to use his ezlink card to help me. Then, I tried opening my pdf again and again to print, but to no avail. Suddenly….

The printer started to work and tadaa…. My print job is out. This process of running around the library 2 times just for one small piece of paper. This took me 15 mins. And mind you, RP library is VERY big.

Then I went back to the auntie to bind my report. There was a long queue but thank goodness I didn’t wait too long. I saw her taking a very bright green RP favourite colour of the hard cover for the report. And asked her to change to another colour. She has to open the whole packet of blue hard cover paper just for my one piece of binding. But anyway, it costs $2, good price. And my stuff is done.

As I walked up the stairs from east to west again to return to my office, I just realized that there is another printing kiosk with counter ladies JUST next to the entrance near my office lift. Seriously, this tells me that I didn’t take notice of the stop as I always rush inside the library. Or is it just now that there wasn’t anybody there?

Seriously so epic, walking east to west to north to south then again for one thing done. Treat it as good exercise la…

Haven't been blogging lately. I was just busy working these days, when others have finished their internship and I have extended mine. I just feel occupied and happy at work, oh no! Have I become a workaholic???

Taking up more tuitions as usual too. 4 kids. Well, one two are regular, that ain't alot!

So far, I think RP has the most friendly working environment having worked at a couple of places these years. Great colleagues, great welfare... I still have a couple of tasks to finish before I officially leave this place. If I have the chance I would definitely want to come back, as a temp...

School's starting soon! Can't get to see, though I don't have many, friends in NTU!
And I can't wait to get my new laptop from school too!

Have too buck up on my korean soon though... Korean 2 I am coming!

rain = sick

shutts, am sick again. flu flu and cough cough... same old problem.. that old problem..

the problem of the raining singapore.

okay, I shall not complain of the super uper hot weather in singapore again, despite being 35 degrees celsius, I'll live happily with that.

I really need the hot weather to warm me up and not the everyday raining and thunderstorm!!!

there is a reason why they give you two keys. I thought of separating the two keys initially but why did I not do that!!???!!!!! I was still worried that I may misplace another key, but now... two keys are gone together!

I was so busy yesterday that I didnt have time to go toilet when I reach my desk. I immediately go off to do administer the survey for Chermaign's class, unfortunately she wasnt here yesterday.

Was busy talking to my sup along the way, rush off to the class at W4 which was quite chaotic. I was blur about what to do. Samuel has not come and none of us were exactly sure what to do. Luckily, CED officer Jeanette was around. So it continues for like this and I went to so many places for meetings today. 2 problem briefings at E1 and W5. Then the third meeting was at E2 but before that I had lunch at E1 canteen. And then we were called down to invigilate UT at W1. I walked around basically so many places. When I was about to lock my laptop, I realise my two workstation keys are gone. So, where the dear did I misplace it? I went so many places! So I left CL at the UT place when the paper has started and start searching for it, with the permission of my boss. I went around looking for it but mostly the venues were being used for exams. Until now, I weren’t able to find it anywhere. And it costs $24 for 2 keys, luckily I can still wait for awhile to find the keys before I report for the lost and make payment.

HAHA, on a side note, my eye candy sat on my table ah… never ask my permission… hahaha! Oh my, my table so messy… mmm… sit till so comfortable. And he goes: cough cough cough flu flu flu…

It just occured to me that, he was the first suay person who sat on my chair. Cuz, I dirtied the chair once with my biscuits spilling and flying all over the place.. HAHA!
Okay lah, something to cheer me up for this week…

Ooo, 我不小心撞到eyecandy的bag, 痛痛!

I really don't wish, and don't mean to say, but I want to thrash it out... I can't stand working with this type of people sometimes.

Sometimes, some things are not for you to see. The more you don't know, it's actually better. I know they didn't secure things properly but also, not for you to see but how can you do that?

Seriously,

wah lao eh...

Happy Parents' Day

Actually, I don't believe in celebrating this special day for mothers and fathers. Simply because, why should we wait til this day to commemorate or celebrate what our parents have done for us. Shoudn't it be an everyday thing that every children should do. Well, at least I am sure I have done my part. So today, like everytime we did, I shall bring them for a dinner. 2-in-1 dinner, to celebrate my mum and dad's day, since we have missed mother's day. HAHA!

But everytime, dad is always very about his surroundings, so mum has to nag nag nag. Frankly, I feel sometimes very annoyed. But nevermind, it has been like this for 22 years.

I ate alot today! I think it was my second big treat to them, and also I have gotten my $$$. To add on to a great news, I have just gotten another student.

Monday is coming again. Haiiii.... I'm happy at RP but, it's the boredom again. to be glued to the chair all the time. And also, listening to weird murmurs across the table, asking funny questions and listening to "things-you-should-not-say-in-the-office". Well, I've just got 6 more weeks to endure this little nitty gritty irritation. I have got good colleagues, but ya.. haha!

I want some holidays to travel!

fine dining!

Let me share with you about this fine dining restaurant in RP - Oliva. It is located at the topmost level of the directors' office E1 of RP. Normally, only staff can get accessed to this place. I was most fortunate to be invited for a lunch with a group of interns and my school's director.

This restaurant is actually managed by the students from School of Hospitality. It is part of their module requirement, which requires them to know how to run a restaurant - cooking, serving customers, handle tasks in a real life restaurant setting. It is really a good idea. Plus, the food here is very cheap to consider a fine dining. But of course, thanks to the director for this meal!

This salmon looks very good right? It's the only lunch course for the day. So everyone ate this! It looks small in portion but I am very full after that.

I was the only one who ordered this mocktail. I just want to try out more new stuffs. It is called "Madagascar", perhaps the name is chosen in line with the upcoming movie. It tastes not too bad, with lime, guava and cherry, along with soda.

This teeny weeny dessert is the wrap up of the meal, served last instead of the usual tea. Well, the students got the sequence wrong. It is very nice but too sweet for tooths like me. At last, I didn't finish it.

We had a really nice lunch with him, talking about things related to us, school life, intern life, future prospects. He also offered his help should we need any thing from the school. It is very rare for high fliers to eat a simple lunch with us, and to help orientate us around. At some point of time, he doesn't give us that kind of stress in a working setting. And also, we got to met the other intern working for the same school as us too - well, that's the whole objective of the lunch, to meet more people in the same boat.

Fine dining highlights small details, such as the food presentation, how it should be placed in different angles to the customers. The arrangement of the utensils, your manners and everything. All in all, I feel that the most pressured person will be the student serving us because at the end of the day, the students will be graded daily, just like any other modules.

I would love to bring my friends and family to this restaurant if there is a chance!

after watching 孤男寡女every night， such a sweet show. I start to wonder when will I meet this person...
have been waiting for 22 years of my life.. hmmm

LOL

During dinner, dad was being random and he suddenly say

Dad: 我想去买一个水人头
Mum and me: BURSTS OUT LAUGHING
Mum: 水龙头啦！

When watching TV, I was being random and suddenly ask

Me: 你几时要去买你的水人头？
Mum: 他差一点没有讲“死人头”而已。

I bursts out laughing again.. HAHAHA!

I didn't know PMS could be so bad. Have I really really got PMS?

A few days before the onset, I got really disturbed by my devil mind. Images, thoughts which are really really, you wouldn't expect a normal girl like me to have them, to an extent I thought I have some abnormal psychological symptoms, are lingering in my mind deliberately. I know if I don't put my attention to these thoughts, I have no intentions at all. But, I don't know, it's like, something is forcing me to this devil thought. Until these few days, I got especially tensed up. Adding on to the menstrual cramps, I feel utterly terrible. I was thinking should I go see a doctor, since it's not normal and also detrimental to be having bad thoughts in my mind.

Until it finally subside, it got really better, but still, the forced devil thoughts are still lingering in my mind here and there. I tried reciting prayers, listening to songs to distract my mind away, or having a big laugh with my parents, watching a super lame TV, having an early night sleep. My daily routines are usual, nothing has changed. Rather, it has been pretty good. I wake up in the morning (but I don't wish to have bad thoughts lingering my mind as I wake up), I dreamt normally as usual, then I got up of bed, preparing to go to work as usual. Work doesn't give me any stress these days. I eat my bread and read newspapers as usual, eat an early lunch as usual, snacking on grapes as usual. Went home as usual, very routine based. Reached home, bathed, dinner as usual. Then watching prime time TV shows. Even my bio clock didn't fail me, I would yawn around 9 plus and I will go to sleep normally at 10 plus. I get tired as usual, my stomach growls as usual.

So, what is bothering me? It's just the stupid mind that I want to get rid away. Or is it am I living a life too peaceful and smooth such that, I have nothing to keep me preoccupied? Aiya, I don't know la. I just don't want to think about it. And it's over. I want the real self back.

But so now, I feel tensed on my neck when I swallow, or the little side effect of my acid reflux throat problems? I need to relax.

I read an article that it's about the quality of your mind and thoughts, if you think good, you will be good, if you think it's bad, then you will be bad. Something along this line, it's like, about how you treat your beliefs. Alot of things are control by your mindset, and also, not to let them control you. Which is why, I keep searching articles on how to cheer myself up. Other than that, I don't know how to help myself feel better, and be a better person. I really hope I will destroy all the unwanted and unhealthy thoughts. A normal human being will surely have some bad thoughts and impulses, especially college students (quoted by wiki), that's normal. Well, I hope I'm normal too and, the way I deal with problems.

Cheer up jiaxin!

看过，读过别人的博格，介绍他们喜欢的东西，自己对生活的认真，期待，感想， 对身边的人的那种爱。 我觉得有时候，我是真的太过钻牛角尖了。

我妈跟我说过，有人看相说我会是一个走极端，爱钻牛角尖的人。我承认，的确是有时候会想太多，看不开。但我觉得还没那么严重。但最近，可能因为刚开始新的工作，新的环境，在加上这几天大姨妈要来拜访。我的心情更加急躁，会胡思乱想，像一些我会很极端的做些什么事？ 可能看太多极端的东西吧？最火搭档？ 哈哈。脑海一直浮现出很多画面，连我自己都很气自己，为什么我会是这样的一个不良的人。 这些想法和画面经常一直不断的出现。 这些年来，来来去去都是这样，不同的画面。但我知道，是错误的，可是我不知道为什么会去胡思乱想些东西，很无聊，非常无聊。 也制造了我很多的不愉快。而且我发现，每次这样的时候，都是大姨妈要来了。很烦叻！

但是现在，我们应该成年轻时，去做一些喜欢做的事情，不要有烦恼。 我们也要过一般年轻人的生活，追求梦想。所以，我希望，我不要一直浮现奇奇怪怪的东西了！这对我也没有好处，因为如果不，那我不就是败给那位看相的人所指定的命运了吗？

我说过，有时候，有些事情，我让命运决定，不要去强求。但是，我还是得掌控自己的命运，自己的生活，因为我不希望，自己糟蹋自己的生活对吧？因为，生活就是要开心，放宽心胸，就像妈妈一样！

所以，这期间来，就因为我在钻牛角尖事候对那些所有态度不好的朋友们，非常抱歉。我会改进的。我应该把精力放在比较重要的东西，学业，工作，妈妈爸爸，朋友，和那些关心我的人与事。对吗? 对了，就是这个态度，我得牢牢的记住，做个更好的人=）就像我说的，我是一个不懂得玩乐的人，因为我就是太认真了。

不敢对妈妈说，在这里说出来感觉真好，因为我知道，有些人一定会看！

嘉欣，加油！

;)

My best university semester, after exchange.
The least number of modules.
The least number of AUs.

The same grade of my core modules.
My first perfect language mod.
My first perfect Physics mod.
My first perfect Psychology mod.

JIA YOU FOR NEXT SEMESTER!

;)

needs to be more careful!

I don't know what is super wrong with me today. Today seems a bad day to start of with. First, I had repeated flashbacks of unpleasant scenes lingering in my mind which is unhealthy. Sometimes, I was thinking if I had really some kind of weird imaginative disorder or not. I am just... I don't know what to say. Think too much? But well, at least work buries me.

Precisely when work buries me, makes me more stressed than ever like today, just meeting the directors at a meeting which don't require me to do or say anything can stress me so much. And then rushing out some materials before I knock off today, make my chest feels tensed up, lessen my energy.

I don't wth was wrong with me, I saw several small boys wearing my sec school uniform running across the traffic light, well, it's green light, so running across the road don't seem any problem, I thought. As when that traffic turns red, I reached the point, it was a cross junction, the other traffic light heading to another direction hasn't even turned green. I DON'T KNOW WHY I CROSS THAT TRAFFIC. IT WAS A RED LIGHT! Suddenly,...

A company bus was speeding towards me and I thought, why is the bus going so fast when it's green light, and I held my head up, IT'S A RED LIGHT! OMG, I quickly dashed to the platform at the middle of the road, and faster cross over to another side. My gosh, it was so dangerous, and I thought it was supposed to turn green anytime soon. Oh well, I don't know what am I so stressed up about. I am always afraid when crossing roads, and always made sure that cars stopped, or when there is hardly any vehicle, then I will cross the road. I guess I am lucky this time to escape this tragedy. I still remember two years back when I was heading to my tuitee's house, I cross a junction which cannot be crossed by passengers and many many cars were horning me. Oh my gosh, I still have that bad impression in my mind and now, another flashback will be stuck in my mind again. Never got to be released. And I will just stay with these bad memories in me.

That kind of scared, afraidness but, why does it still happens to me? My mum must be pretty worried about me when I cross roads, two times, which occurs at traffic lights which are supposed to help people cross roads safely.

I seriously wonder, why am I so not cautious and mind drifting away all the time. A lesson learnt, to be more careful and alert all the time whenever doing something.

Thinking about today, just make me more afraid in life. 不要想太多！

And because of this bad flashback, I am constantly reminded of it after this incident. Talking about accidents, on the news radio, on the drama preview clip, on the straits time twitter, car horns on and off around my estate.

Don't you guys agree so? That you encounter something annoying that day which lingers in your mind, related incidents or scene will remind you as and when you interact with the environment, on the newspaper, during conversation with your family, on the TV. Well, I guess not to take this so seriously. Otherwise, it is very difficult for me to move on in life. Another thing, I am being too serious and easily annoyed by myself- person. My mother always remind me, in life, we always always have to learn to let things go, you will be lighter, and happier to deal with more challenges in the future. I always believe what she said, and I will also always try to make sure I keep up to that, though sometimes I am slow to realise things. =)

Jia you for results release! And thanks to NTU tweets for the CONSTANT reminder that results will be out midnight, check your results while dancing in the club whatsoever. UGH! I just plan to have a good night sleep tonight and forget all my troubles away. Hopefully, tomorrow is a happy day for me!