I really feel very unhappy at certain points of time. I don't know why.

I know I am not very good to post that status on facebook. But I was kinda sian when she says she is coming back to cook but didn't in the end. And she also says in the whatsapp conference that she is coming back to cook. If she hasn't said it all, I wouldn't have been so pissed. At least not what I expected, I know it's not her fault. I shouldn't have been small minded.

I have already reached the stage whereby I don't know how to communicate to any single one of them. I don't know how to face them, with the appropriate facial expressions. Hence the cycle repeats. I don't want to feel judged, just because of the angry faces I give and affect other people. I don't know what wrong have I done too. I can't see myself in the mirror. Others do. I don't see why am I being treated differently. Whatever you want to say to me, just tell me. Why do you all have to keep it to yourself and then accommodate? Am I that difficult to talk to?

Different people. That's how difference can seriously make a great difference.

At this point, I really really want to go back to Singapore. Back to my own world.

It's not really healthy to feel this way. I know exchange must be really fun. But why? What happened?

The only reason I can think of, I met the wrong group of people, wrong as in, different from me. But thankfully, there are still people I can turn to if I need help.

First Glimpse of Snow!

I was in class today and I saw snow! I immediately digressed and tell my friend and keep looking outside. My classmates did the same and then everyone started looking outside, none of them listening to the prof. So funny.. I bet my Canadian friends here are waiting to see my excitement on the first snow!

I wake up so early in the morning to return a book. And came back again to sleep. AFter that I skyped with my mummy. I feel so happy after skyping and getting to talk to her for as long as I like now. Otherwise I really miss her and wanted to talk to her but can't do that so often. Her voice calling me to go sleep is so famiilar. But anyway, she taught me how to chao mee fen. It's my first time trying and I think it's not bad a first try!

I went out for lesson and it is so cold. Then it is snowing!!! I was concentrating, for once today during lesson. Happy girl! I really don't want to stuck in between people. And getting other people's attention. I like it the way I am now. I am free to do what I want to do.

We finally book the montreal trip! I was worrying if no one wants to go with me or there's no spots left. Yay! So happy! Went Walmart with them too. It's the first time I really really see what is there in walmart. I always chiong alot of things in Walmart, never get the chance to really see things. And it's the first time I bought so many things. Without having to carry them. I don't even have to carry my own shopping basket cuz there is someone who will automatically carry for me. I feel nice about it. HAHA! I don't even have to carry far. There's trolley around. Probably we took cab back. Save us the trouble of carrying alot of things.

I was kinda angry about having no dinner when I reach home. Probably I held my expectations too high. But it's okay, I cook shark fins soup. It's nice! Though I think I put too much powder, which makes it a little bit salty. Well at least she helped me cook lunch. HAHA!

Incredible Experience

Why do I say that? Never have I had two tests within 2 hours. Hai... Two weakest modules. I don't think I have confidence in doing well this time. Hopefully I can do better this time round. I am still not good with survival analysis. Please give me some pity marks. For intermediate probability, still not too bad as the previous one. I hope I can pass this time and pull up my grade. At least let me pass a little bit. I guess I should be able to pass since last time I blanked out alot of questions and it warrants me a 4 mark below pass. Shouldn't be that bad since this time round I attempted all the questions. But still, I don't know how to do one question.

It's so cute... Everyone ask about me today and realised I have two midterms today! And their replies were, " Oh my that's so horrible!"
I am quite glad to met local classmates and sometimes we will just chat randomly. I like this kind of feeling. It makes me feel more belonged to school when now I know many people, it's better than day 1. I can concentrate better in class now. This is the kind of adaptation I need in school. Well anyway, it's kinda funny when people come chat to me when I'm studying. Like there's this guy and few other classmates hala hala-ing together while I was busy mugging survival outside the com lab. Then next another classmate who is also taking same two midterms with me come talk to me too. Alot of others wish me good luck too! I feel so happy in school hahaha...

The feeling is so lousy. After midterms, have to work on assignments. It's with S.. assignmentS. Then have to study for midterms and chiong assignments at the same time. So sian...

I feel at ease after I skyped with my parents this morning. At the same time, I missed them so much too. Perhaps it's the constant contact with my family members made me miss home. I just miss home. I don't really miss the food in Singapore though. Still not yet that stage. I miss the accompany, the familiarity whenever I trot down anywhere in Singapore.

I have been feeling guilty for doing so badly in my studies. I still feel. I have chatted with my friends quite alot on this issue. Even why am I feeling so down. Roomie keep bringing her close guy friend back, which I think it's rather okay but too late at night. I feel disturbed too. And also perhaps I'm too stressed so to give her some attitude which after that I apologised for. But really arh, didn't know I would be upset til this kind of stage to be attitude with somebody totally unrelated. Seriously, something wrong with me, which explains the phase of social and emotional adjustment.

So long as my parents have no issues with my results, somehow I just take things too seriously. I should be able to do better. Yesterday's midterm was just, I could have more marks but I go and change my answer for many questions. Which is why I hated mcq exams so much.

Yes, Montreal trip I am coming soon!

I hope I can cheer up after Toronto. Though I'm going with people I don't really know how to communicate with most of the time. I will try.

I haven't been doing academically well since the start of my exchange. Why is it?
I miss home, I feel distracted by many thoughts covering my mind. I feel socially unadjusted, well not to the Canadians here. But to the people whom I am with. Why do I meet this kind of Singaporeans here. If I am not a girl, I wouldn't have bothered much with them and don't have to tag them along. For that reason that I don't want to do anything alone, like travelling alone. I could have just live by my own, and do things by my own. I live better off alone. Of course, I will tag along with some friends to go places. But, I really live better off alone. Leave me alone!

There goes my midterm again. Changing too many instinct answers made me lose alot of marks. Got back my midterm today and I did really bad. It wasn't a difficult paper, guess I have not been studying too hard and banging on alot of luck. But still I guess it luck is still working a little bit well.

Roomie bought 2 chickens and I wonder how are we gonna eat that. It's way too much. and I spend the whole hour just now trying to cut the chicken. Seriously I don't know how am I gonna do that..

I hvae so less time to do so many things. Why??? I am on exchange!!!

After skyping with my Aunt. I feel happy and motivated. At the same time, I miss home too.

Seriously, why am I rushing assignment the day before my midterm! I need to finish this assignment quick!!!

Had a midterm on last Wednesday. Hope it is still not badly done. 35% weightage is kinda high.

I went to Debbie's house yesterday. I love her house. It's so cosy... just like so hotels or those houses that westerners live. Too bad we don't need this kind of structure housing in Singapore. They have a basement room. and the store room is even bigger than our whole house in Lambton. Met some new friends and they are pretty fun! We ate pizzas, wings, icecream and Pie! And also very interesting Singlish talk with some of them...

It was DST just now (Daylight Saving time). I still don't understand the rationale for it.. turning back time for 1 hour and then returning that hour again.. But it was a historic moment for me I guess.. Like as if I have gain one more hour in life. well anyway, alot asked, "What are you going to do in that hour?" I would think, I sleep!

Finally a day without having to step out of Lambton. I just wanna stay in and rest. And of course, study and finish my assignment.