Alot of things happen this month. Okay, not alot but one?
This week feels so long. I have never experienced such a long week. What was I doing the last Sunday? Upset over my grandmother's death. Missed out all the stuff happening over at Malaysia. And I was still planning to go over to mls in the midst of my exams, studying hard for the stupid stats paper. On Monday, I went for stats paper. What a rubbish paper indeed. I even thought of MC-ing my papers this semester. And I indeed, I think I went to the wrong exam hall since the paper looks so alien to me. But nevermind, it was the last paper of the year. So I didn't give a care about it. Ate a dinner at a weird timing with my math clique and then went home to sleep for so long.
The next day was Vesak day, I wanted to leave for mls but ya, my mum is coming back soon. So I went to the temple to pray, and walk around with my Aunt and Cousin. Don't know why, I was so lucky to get a job from her childcare. though the pay wasn't that surprising. Well, at least it fits my requirement and I can earn some pocket money =)
Watch thor , another movie like finally... went shopping around JP ( of all places...) with pong. Get to go back to the idle life after exams. Shopping seems such an alien and uncomfortable thing to me again.
And so, the next day I went to work. The first day seems fine, just that the first phone call received was from the big boss. and I didn't answer it properly. But anyway, it was okay since I am working under my cousin. Can eat with her, talk to her during lunch and lunch was home cooked by the aunty. The teachers there (colleagues) were all very friendly too. So I didn't have difficulty socialising around. But then this kind of job, I won't wanna work for long too =P So I only work there for a few weeks. And so, this is the life for the next two days. I get to do different jobs each day. So it's not very boring. And I can have the whole fan, table, chair, computer to myself. haha!
Saturday, I sleep in late. Went breakfast and then go off to meet the wookies seniors. Practise for our song sign which in the end turns out so cui. It was the last tuition of the semester before we all off for June holiday break. See you one month later! Then as usual, seems like almost every other weekend we have birthday celebration. The cake was nice! then we went off for our steamboat, and a talking session at TCC.
Sunday. I sleep in later than usual again. Met pong at clementi and sorry I was late cuz I couldn't find my things last minute. We went cycling with our bears, xinying, joanna, dong and deric. It was a long time since I last cycled and fell in 2008 class chalet. Had difficulty catching up too cuz maybe the gear has some problem. But I enjoyed it, it was the first time I cycled with ntu people. Back then in JC, we love to do all kinds of sports. But now in uni, I think everyone is old liao .. hahahahaha! Cycling to me is also quite tiring now. Then we went to mac to chill and play some card games. Dinner at Astons was fun and we talk cock so much about "what amount should I give for ___ wedding" with the "piss-off" rate. Seriously, I laughed til I cry.
So that's how my longest week went. Everyday seems so exciting and fulfilling to me. Maybe doing many things in one day can really slow down time. It seems like my paper was two weeks ago.
Anyway, I was so happy with our HW102A! A minus. Didn't expect it though cuz we met many problems at the start and middle. Our tutor is nice. Can't wait to see my critique too. =)
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Somebody read my future today. I wasn't very pleased with the outcome.
Somebody told me today... Those that mind don matter, those that matter don't mind.
I take things and comments very seriously in my heart, which caused me to be an overly suspicious person. That puts me in no good situation some times.
Can I change my life? Will I be able to know what am I going to change? Do I have a choice? I will not submit to fate. Rather, sometimes I believed in fate too, such as love.
Somebody told me today... Those that mind don matter, those that matter don't mind.
I take things and comments very seriously in my heart, which caused me to be an overly suspicious person. That puts me in no good situation some times.
Can I change my life? Will I be able to know what am I going to change? Do I have a choice? I will not submit to fate. Rather, sometimes I believed in fate too, such as love.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
To think I was going to leave SG for Malaysia quietly, immediately after exams...
Spoiled my plan.
How can they do this? They all went to play without me!!! Thinking that I have never ever missed out the fun before, ever in Malaysia at all. This is the first time, that I couldn't be there for an important occasion, just to clear another important exam. Tomorrow, I better get A+ for my module. Otherwise, I will never be happy. haha kidding.
Okay enough of all the ranting. Luckily I'm back to normal today. Watching finish my drama and studying and slacking at the time. My heart was never here all along. Don't know why my body is here.
Thinking back, a family reunion is a great thing. Which I'm not worrying now, but rather happy. Nothing beats everyone coming together and have fun. But why is it always at a sad occasion where everyone comes together. Can't it be just a simple family reunion?
Looks like, I will never have my noodles, and my hair cut soon. And all importantly, I will never get to pay my respects too.
Demon in xiao meimei:" Singapore don't have noodles and hair salon meh?"
Angel in xiao meimei:" Why? I like to go there cut my hair and have noodles cannot arh?"
back to pivotal quantity.
Haiya... Mummy arh! You faster come back lah... I'm gonna turn mouldy already.
Spoiled my plan.
How can they do this? They all went to play without me!!! Thinking that I have never ever missed out the fun before, ever in Malaysia at all. This is the first time, that I couldn't be there for an important occasion, just to clear another important exam. Tomorrow, I better get A+ for my module. Otherwise, I will never be happy. haha kidding.
Okay enough of all the ranting. Luckily I'm back to normal today. Watching finish my drama and studying and slacking at the time. My heart was never here all along. Don't know why my body is here.
Thinking back, a family reunion is a great thing. Which I'm not worrying now, but rather happy. Nothing beats everyone coming together and have fun. But why is it always at a sad occasion where everyone comes together. Can't it be just a simple family reunion?
Looks like, I will never have my noodles, and my hair cut soon. And all importantly, I will never get to pay my respects too.
Demon in xiao meimei:" Singapore don't have noodles and hair salon meh?"
Angel in xiao meimei:" Why? I like to go there cut my hair and have noodles cannot arh?"
back to pivotal quantity.
Haiya... Mummy arh! You faster come back lah... I'm gonna turn mouldy already.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
不管我今天做什么决定，我必须选择一个。
这两个决定，都一样，让我变成坏人。
我知道，我不应该掌控别人。但我还是过不了我自己的一关。
去庙？还是去赴约？
我还在为她的离去感到遗憾，感慨，但是我在这里什么都不能做，只是能够应付考试。但怎么样也会受影响。这不是借口。我甚至还想过放弃考试，毕竟我是一个唯一没有到现场的孙女。我想趁这次传灯仪式，传达我的心意。有一些no link, 我也应该在家读书是吧？但是，也许能让我好过一些。。。
去赴约，他“千里迢迢”来我家附近，和我一起吃饭。也是我提议的。只是一个钟头的时间，他又要赶回去了。我很感激他愿意跑来和我吃饭。但是，我最后一分钟才放鸽子。上次，同样的事情发生在我身上。我很气，说:"以后不能答应别人的东西，就不要答应。”我把我说过的话铭记在心里。但是今天，我犯了这个错误。 我犯了一个我曾经说过，我不能忍受的一个错误。变成坏人了。
我一整天想了很久，才勇敢的做出决定的。对不起。
这两个决定，都一样，让我变成坏人。
我知道，我不应该掌控别人。但我还是过不了我自己的一关。
去庙？还是去赴约？
我还在为她的离去感到遗憾，感慨，但是我在这里什么都不能做，只是能够应付考试。但怎么样也会受影响。这不是借口。我甚至还想过放弃考试，毕竟我是一个唯一没有到现场的孙女。我想趁这次传灯仪式，传达我的心意。有一些no link, 我也应该在家读书是吧？但是，也许能让我好过一些。。。
去赴约，他“千里迢迢”来我家附近，和我一起吃饭。也是我提议的。只是一个钟头的时间，他又要赶回去了。我很感激他愿意跑来和我吃饭。但是，我最后一分钟才放鸽子。上次，同样的事情发生在我身上。我很气，说:"以后不能答应别人的东西，就不要答应。”我把我说过的话铭记在心里。但是今天，我犯了这个错误。 我犯了一个我曾经说过，我不能忍受的一个错误。变成坏人了。
我一整天想了很久，才勇敢的做出决定的。对不起。
Friday, May 13, 2011
二十年前，我就常常到她的家了。 每一个暑假，家里都是热热闹闹的。慢慢的，孩子长大了，各忙个的，屋子里就越来越冷清了。我们从小就一直探望外婆。 直到我进了大学，一年才能回去3 次。
虽然我很少和她说话，可能因为语言的关系。直到最近，她需要做轮椅了。妈妈回去照顾她一个月，我也跟去了3星期。我也和她有了一些互动。帮忙看这她，倒水，给她饼干，几粒葡萄，她还会用话语和我说，“谢谢你啊！”她说的话也越来越少了，还吟这歌。以前，她会进来房间里，把我们一个个吵醒，问我们要吃什么早餐，我们都会闲她吵。但是，这些年来，当我逐渐长大，我开始发觉了她的退化。。。她 什么都不知道了
也许那一杯水，几片水果是我最后请她吃的东西了。我上一次回去时，要离开的时候，看着她还在睡。她都认不出谁是谁了。妈妈前几个星期去看她的时候，她用海南话和我妈说，“ 你不用会来看我了。” 妈妈在那个时候，已经有预感了。
昨天我在读书的时候，有一只昆虫飞进了风扇。我还想这，“笨蛋！好飞不飞，飞去里面干吗。” 可是，我当时看这昆虫挣扎，丧命，我好像已经有预感了。真的，刚才妈妈说，是昨晚离开的。我新年回去的时候，看着她睡觉的样子，是最后一次了。。。
但是，我还是每一次放假有回去看她，也算是很开心了。
我刚才还在想：我真的不想去考试，我还能请假的。但是我知道，我不能这么做。我会辜负妈妈和外婆的期望。我一直一直的想，全部人都回去了，为什么剩下我一个还在这里？我是应该回去的，虽然我是女儿的女儿，是最不受疼的。但是，我真的好想，好想回去看她最后一面。我的爸爸也是，爸爸比我还时常回去看她。但爸爸都没福气，妈妈走的时候，他在外国。现在，岳母，也是一样。
我想我唯一能做的，就是尽力的去考试。加油！
R.I.P
虽然我很少和她说话，可能因为语言的关系。直到最近，她需要做轮椅了。妈妈回去照顾她一个月，我也跟去了3星期。我也和她有了一些互动。帮忙看这她，倒水，给她饼干，几粒葡萄，她还会用话语和我说，“谢谢你啊！”她说的话也越来越少了，还吟这歌。以前，她会进来房间里，把我们一个个吵醒，问我们要吃什么早餐，我们都会闲她吵。但是，这些年来，当我逐渐长大，我开始发觉了她的退化。。。她 什么都不知道了
也许那一杯水，几片水果是我最后请她吃的东西了。我上一次回去时，要离开的时候，看着她还在睡。她都认不出谁是谁了。妈妈前几个星期去看她的时候，她用海南话和我妈说，“ 你不用会来看我了。” 妈妈在那个时候，已经有预感了。
昨天我在读书的时候，有一只昆虫飞进了风扇。我还想这，“笨蛋！好飞不飞，飞去里面干吗。” 可是，我当时看这昆虫挣扎，丧命，我好像已经有预感了。真的，刚才妈妈说，是昨晚离开的。我新年回去的时候，看着她睡觉的样子，是最后一次了。。。
但是，我还是每一次放假有回去看她，也算是很开心了。
我刚才还在想：我真的不想去考试，我还能请假的。但是我知道，我不能这么做。我会辜负妈妈和外婆的期望。我一直一直的想，全部人都回去了，为什么剩下我一个还在这里？我是应该回去的，虽然我是女儿的女儿，是最不受疼的。但是，我真的好想，好想回去看她最后一面。我的爸爸也是，爸爸比我还时常回去看她。但爸爸都没福气，妈妈走的时候，他在外国。现在，岳母，也是一样。
我想我唯一能做的，就是尽力的去考试。加油！
R.I.P
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
3 days left to the BIG DAY!
Yes it's the big day 7 may, for me, and for the country.
GEs are simply distracting! Having to catch up everyday on the news, reading what the opposition has to say, can really take time away to study, given that I still have things to catch up with. Can't wait for my exams to be over, but by the time exam's over, which fool will still go back on the news and catch up everything now? Me lor... I shall read out more about Singapore politics, and be in the position to vote (imagine if I have the chance). Since I will be entering the civil service, this issue seems very important now to ponder about.
I really hope I can tide over two core papers on saturday. I haven't touch 317 like now... I hope I can understand everything and do the paper with ease. And Calculus is time consuming because need to practise questions. Especially when the laptop is on, your effectiveness slows down by alot.
Catching up with GE, and studying for math and physics exams, is totally a different world. GE is so applicable to life, what we are fighting for as a nation. Math and Science is like... why am I studying all these? What's the use? I see no meaning. The more I study, the more I get demoralised, the more I surf net. If this continues, my interest in this arena will just drop... How to be a convincing teacher? Talking about convincing teachers, I died while teaching my student yesterday. I think she and her IP stuff will shorten my life for two years everytime I go there.
I want to learn the applications of Math and Stats in real life. Please let me learn it! I hope the higher level topics are not as dull as now. What Green and Stoke's Theorem, now it just makes no sense seriously. Continuity... Partial derivatives... so what if you know how to calculate the integration and get it right? So what? Although I'm a big fan of Calculus, I don't see the meaning now. That's the flaw of a 6k education.
GEs are simply distracting! Having to catch up everyday on the news, reading what the opposition has to say, can really take time away to study, given that I still have things to catch up with. Can't wait for my exams to be over, but by the time exam's over, which fool will still go back on the news and catch up everything now? Me lor... I shall read out more about Singapore politics, and be in the position to vote (imagine if I have the chance). Since I will be entering the civil service, this issue seems very important now to ponder about.
I really hope I can tide over two core papers on saturday. I haven't touch 317 like now... I hope I can understand everything and do the paper with ease. And Calculus is time consuming because need to practise questions. Especially when the laptop is on, your effectiveness slows down by alot.
Catching up with GE, and studying for math and physics exams, is totally a different world. GE is so applicable to life, what we are fighting for as a nation. Math and Science is like... why am I studying all these? What's the use? I see no meaning. The more I study, the more I get demoralised, the more I surf net. If this continues, my interest in this arena will just drop... How to be a convincing teacher? Talking about convincing teachers, I died while teaching my student yesterday. I think she and her IP stuff will shorten my life for two years everytime I go there.
I want to learn the applications of Math and Stats in real life. Please let me learn it! I hope the higher level topics are not as dull as now. What Green and Stoke's Theorem, now it just makes no sense seriously. Continuity... Partial derivatives... so what if you know how to calculate the integration and get it right? So what? Although I'm a big fan of Calculus, I don't see the meaning now. That's the flaw of a 6k education.
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