Inspired

Wayne and Libby, former members of the Parachute Band (a Christian band from NZ), conducted a music workshop cum sharing session with the worship ministry on Sat. I think they are sort of becoming our ministry mentors, as someone put it. I was so inspired by them, and their drive to be excellent in order to serve others. Yes, there's a stark difference between excellence and perfectionism.

Excellence is about others; perfectionism is about myself.
Excellence is not a destination you arrive at, it's an attitude you live with.

Indeed, I hope I can strive to be excellent, so that I can lead others closer to Christ. In the meantime, I'm hoping to write some songs - about God this time. It's been more than 5 years since I last wrote something. Hopefully God will put a new song in my heart this time. And hopefully too, I won't be ashamed of what I've written. Don't be perfectionistic gal, be excellent. Serve others.

shortlisted

I've been shortlisted for the first round auditions of Deal or No Deal! Haha.
Let's see how it goes :)

girl talk

nice girl talk today at Miss Clarity along Purvis Street, together with ah wing and eug.
quotable quote by eug: "But he loves me silently!!!"
yeah, we all need someone to love us loudly, don't we? :)
as an aside, I saw one of my colleagues' youths sitting at a nearby table. how strange that I keep bumping into him - he's an apprentice at the salon I frequent, and here he is with his gf at the cafe I'm dining at!

post-dinner trim

Kartaly requests for Ethan Mummy to cut her fringe - in the comfort of Ethan Mummy's five-room flat. Diaper-strapped Ethan looks on, at first saying an ominous "don't cut! don't cut!", before commenting "shorter...shorter..." Yes, yes, Ethan darling, we know Aunty Kartaly's fringe is getting shorter. But Mummy can handle it - and she does! *clap clap* Aunty Kartaly's happy too :) And that's how our Saturday home-cooked pasta dinner party ended!

K 歌夜睌

Another night of kara-forever-ok with the kiasu bunch that wastes no time in choosing songs. They plan their song list even before they step into the room! They even prepare my warm-up song! :p

881: 一人一半

Caught Royston Tan's 881 today. The title track 一人一半 is simply captivating. The original Hokkien song has been remixed into part Hokkien part Mandarin. Here're the solo and duet versions.

Time to record

Finally am back from my recording session at the studio. I haven't sung in soooo long, my voice takes so long to warm up, I can't reach the high notes well, and my vibralto shivers. Sigh... We finally finished the song at 1am. I'm tired...now just waiting for my hair to dry and then I'll hit the sack... zzzzzz

Response

God must know how crazy I felt last night. This morning, I opened my email inbox and saw a surprise email from a Christian friend. Not a close one though. He said he couldn't shake off a dream he had of me last night, and he shared a message he felt that God wanted me to know. And that message really hit home. Isn't God so good?

The supposed Hate Psalm

I wanted to write a tirade of stuff against the Ex. And I wanted to title it "Hate Psalm for the Ex". No, wait a minute, it would be lowercase "e" for "the ex", cos he absolutely doesn't deserve the capital status. Actually while I was waiting at the bus-stop after Festival of Praise earlier, I did come up with some fantabulous phrases. They just kinda conjured up in my head. But my anger subsided. It's weird how after a night of wonderful praise with Delirious? (they're still so good tho abit emo now) and Don Moen, I could still think up such scathing remarks. Yeah, I think somewhere deep inside me that anger reaches boiling point and then simmers. When it's at boiling point, it's somewhat like this... ok maybe I should write a bit of that Hate Psalm. Why Hate Psalm? Cos it's as honest as it can get, and King David was as honest as he could get in the book of Psalms in the bible.

Ok so here goes...

Ihateyou
Youfgsoab
.......

Oh well, there was much much more in my head at the bus-stop, and I did think I was such a wonderfully angry poet, someone should pay me money to write stuff like that. But now, the words are not coming. Maybe one day, when I can't get to sleep and start getting angry, I should switch on my macbook and start typing furiously. Yeah, when I feel like breaking the beer jug and splashing the whole damn thing into his freakin face. And if that bitch is there, perhaps her too. Ok the anger's coming, I better stop. Seriously, sometimes people look at me and ask me if I'm all right. Seriously? I'm damn all right lor, what do you think? If only I could stop being angry. Because every time I think what a fg cheating liar he was, and I repeat fg cheating liar, I just wanna scratch his car. Do something. Whatever. If I really ever see him again, I would really have to do all I can to stop myself from kicking his bloody ass. Piece of shit you are.

God, I know you totally understand. Just help me be less angry.

Ethan hugged me today

Maybe children know when adults are feeling like crap. And that's why Ethan liked me a little more today. No boh chap-ing AuntY Dawn (Yes! Her can now pronounce the "ty" in "Aunty"!), he actually willingly agreed to my request for a hug. How schwweeet...I wanna cry liaos :p

His hug really made me feel better.

Have been feeling really frustrated at work. That's a story that is dangerous to reveal publicly. But I've been feeling really really really frustrated. I wish I could do everything by myself and then I don't have to entertain shit. But oh well, it doesn't happen. And shit does. So I have to deal with it.

I really wish I could just concentrate on therapy, whether in groups or individually. It's a much more effective use of my time, and I enjoy it.

Thank God that today it was such a relief when I praised Him during cell. Yeah, He's teaching me to praise Him despite everything. I felt released. Amen.