Open your mouth and say AHHHH....

Meiyi held her wedding on Sat and Sun. This is the 5th wedding for the 4/6 girls. Was fun catching up with the rest. I still don't understand why our RJ prom photo appeared in the couple's from-childhood-to-now slideshow! Horrible photo with bad makeup and dress sense! Anyways...

TOP ROW (L to R): Jill n Eug go "ahhhh" cos that was the couple's fav pose; the couple's walk-in and me back view...kekeke; FY trying to grab Karen's breast, lucky for YH.

MIDDLE ROW (L to R): All normal pix except for the last one where Sooty tries to do a booby-grabbing-FY. Tsk tsk.

BOTTOM ROW (L to R): All normal pix. Phew.

Thanks to Sooty for the lovely montage. :)

Jump 離開地球表面

Great time at Krabi with Kartaly. I've perfected the jumping shot there.
1 2 3 JUMP (on the seashore) *snap* voila!
But too much skin exposed lah, so cannot post here. Unless I got supermodel figure of course :)
Kartaly took great artistic shots of me though...so for the first time, I actually look nice and slim in my bikini.

I used my jumping skills again at the museum yesterday (see pic). And I quite like my jump :) Maybe I should send it to Mayday, as an interpretation of their Jump album.

Milk Chocolate Boy's friend speaketh

I get another SMS as I write the previous post. This time it's MCboy's friend from the same percussion band.

S: Ms D, u go thailand cheap rite? u must buy 4 our band sumthing ah..like shirt or wat...hahaha...Then u go there, watch SEA GAMES ah??

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Milk Chocolate Boy speaketh again

My percussion band boys (now with an extra girl) are performing outside Ngee Ann City, near the Christmas tree at the 7-eleven kiosk, tomorrow (Dec 7) between 5pm and 7.30pm. They are really excited cos it's a public performance! Haha. I think they really feel like celebs :)

Unfortunately, I won't be around cos I'll be flying off to Krabi later. Yaayyyy!!! Finally the holiday is here!!!

So anyways, I'm sms-ing the band that I won't be around, and Milk Chocolate Boy (MCboy) strikes again.

MCboy: Hello Ms D...

Me: Yes?

MCboy: Ms D, you go Thailand arrr? What time you flying? Why you never see us perform?

Me: 6plus.

MCboy: Aiya Ms D, you come lah (see us at the practice later)...one hour late never mind lar...last time I also one hour late for my flight...

Me: Aiya you got lucky star...if I miss my flight, you pay for me arrr??? You want anything from Thailand?

MCboy: (Silence. Thinking hard.) Elephant.

Me: Hahaha. Ok I get you elephant keychain.

MCboy: Doh wan lah... I want baby elephant. Or, got orang utan??? Thailand got a lot of orang utans!!!

--------
Yesterday, MCboy called me too. This time, for a noble deed he wanted to perform for the country.

MCboy: Ms D, you know tonight the Hougang MRT there got terrorism...you know the civil defence save the passengers from terrorism???

Me: (Thinking hard why on earth he would ask me about civil defence exercises. Do I look like the civil defence???) Errr....I donno.... why ah?

MCboy: I ask my brother if he knows, then he said maybe the CC (community club) will know. Ms D, your there is CC right? You know or not arrr?? Because I want to go and be the passenger...

Me: (Trying not to laugh.) Errr... my here not CC lah... we counsellor leh... wah... you so good, wanna be injured passenger ah??? Hahaha.

MCboy: Yar. I want.

:)

Why is your life so happening???

"Why is your life so happening?"
That's what Sooty said just now over msn.
Hmm...actually it's true. I think my life is quite happening now. It's not clubbing-meet-lots-of-people happening (cos I don't club), but simply, happening.

The breakup has been good for me. I was way too comfortable in the world that I was in - just the two of us. I was feeling snug, cosy and safe. Until I was finally shaken out of that safety net and flung out. Life simply went on (more God-centred, which is good) and life just took a shape of its own. I didn't have to purposely cram it with stuff. All the good things just happened, and are still happening.

I must feel a lot friendlier and open to people nowadays I think. I have actually widened my personal space to include more of them, and I think they feel it. I can be the warm and amiable me, if I want to. And I'm doing this because of effort. Not contrived effort, but just normal effort, which comes more naturally now to a supposedly introverted me.

Like Sy Rogers says, I must take advantage of this season. And for now, I'm in season.

Curled up in the House

Was helping ethan mummy with her flea market stall some weeks back, at House in Dempsey Road. Caught a shot of tired lil' ethan curled up asleep on the couch, totally oblivious to the thumping music spun by the DJ nearby...lil' ethan adapted well that day. If not, ethan mummy would not have survived!

listen to the rhythm 2

A few days before the youth concert, one of the five 13-year-old boys called me to ask what he was supposed to wear for the drum performance. They had all agreed to wear all black.

S: Ms D, I don't have black pants.

Me: Hmm...What's your darkest coloured pants?

S: Peach.

Me (trying to control my laughter): PEACH? [trying to prevent myself from asking who in the world wears peach pants] *cough* eh...what do you mean by peach ah?

S (pausing for some time to think): You know, like milk chocolate?

Me (suppressing my laughter even more): Milk chocolate is dark brown right?

S (very serious): Nono, it's lighter than dark brown!

Me: Ermm... you don't have other colours???

S: Got. I got one blue one. But Ms D, it's shiny.

Me: !!!!!! Eh.. how come your pants all so special one???

S: Aiya, it's like sky blue lah. Can or not???

Me: I think you wear your milk chocolate pants better lah...

Thank goodness he found some decent grey cargoes the next day! :)

listen to the rhythm

The Rhythm Kiozk boys put up a great drum performance during the youth concert on Saturday night. So proud of them :) I've witnessed first-hand the wonders of stress and intimidation. The bunch of 5 boys, all 13 years old only, were really intimidated by the stylo mylo older bands present. They were so scared that they ran back into the dressing room when they saw the bigger boys approaching. So funny! Then they started to practise their drums for the next 8 hours, pausing only to play the fool (read: hiding in cupboards, switching off all the lights to scare people and looking for other 13-year-old girls to bioh...sigh...boys will be boys...) This was the first time I saw them take the performance so seriously... they just banged and banged on the drums throughout the day.

Thank goodness my colleague brought UNO cards (meant to entertain bored social workers who turned out to be very busy instead) and the boys gave my eardrums a break from more drumming by playing the cards. Thanks to my sporting colleagues who cheered, clapped and whistled when the boys performed, cos they really responded to the support through their playing! :)

who

When I'm tired, I get Delirious?
Delirious is good, cos I do crazy things - on a whim.
Then I dream, and it seems so real, so right.
And I always give it a warped twist.
Then I wake up with my heart beating so fast.
Will I get a reply?
I should just stop clicking the receive button.
I should just wait.
Wait on the Lord.
Please rest.

kairos

I was thinking...
If I were still a journo, this would be my fifth year as one.
If I had been a social worker from the start, this would be my fifth year too.
(It has now been one year eight months. How time flies.)
And maybe, I would even be given the title senior social worker too.
I guess it's kinda how I'm a few years behind others, yet I'm behind for a reason. I have a good honours degree, a graduate diploma, but I'm still behind in some ways.
Thinking about it makes it sucky sometimes, and I wish I could say, it's all worth it. But that would be so fake.
So how should I put it?
Yeah, I should embrace The Present Moment.
The mini-kairos is rich and complex. And I need to appreciate it.
If I follow chronos, The Present Moment would fly past so fast it would be depleted and totally consumed.
I have to embrace The Present Moment, for all it's worth. And in all aspects.

I feel like a government ministry (and I can't draw Spidey)

I've never been a good multi-tasker, but the last two weeks have called for tonnes of multi-tasking. My brain has effectively been split into so many departments I feel like a government ministry.

I've been rushing to complete session plans for Nov's groupwork, prepare for three presentations (2 with colleagues, 1 with parents), conduct counselling, type case reports, type reports for the courts, arrange for drumming for the boys, coordinate stuff with the volunteers (the kayaking fell through, so sad), count stats for the school... Basically, I've been worrying about all things in limbo. Yes, in limbo, that's the catchphrase of the week. Thank goodness the parents support group is over, but now I have to worry about buying transparent umbrellas for the groupwork (we're trying to inject creative arts therapy this time, which will be fun!) Let's hope Daiso has enough for us!

And now, I'm trying to breathe. Literally.

Am I glad that in this flurry of activities, I couldn't draw Spidey. I couldn't draw Spidey, and the 14-year-old boy laughed. Like laughed real hard, and I laughed real hard too. Spidey was my gift to him, a clumsy gift that I drew for him, at the end of our therapeutic conversation. Thank you for your laughter, A. I really appreciated it.

sick of being sick

Yeah, I'm sick of being sick.

Had to visit Changi Hospital at 4am a few days ago cos my stomach was hurting so bad, I couldn't sleep from 2am onwards. Turned out I had gastritis, cos apparently my stomach was still sick as it hadn't fully recovered from my food poisoning a week before. Sigh. And I still had to conduct a workshop at 8am that day. Two days of MC were wasted just like that. But, well, I'm not complaining am I? In times like these, you have to think twice about letting your colleague handle a whole class of students on her own. Not that she couldn't do it, but she would have needed help.

And now I'm down with flu, which I believe I caught from another colleague. It's crazy. This organisation is fast-paced you know? But, well, I'm not complaining am I? Cos I still enjoy work... just think about the number of times I had to deliver drums to the office... voluntarily.

There are things that I'm siao on about, I guess. Have been sleeping every time I have a pocket of time to spare. Had to play for worship service today too, so am pretty tired now from having woken up at 6.30am. Shall sleep soon.

I hope I get well. Completely well. Soon.

Today's learning point from pastor's sermon: I'm determined not to commit the folly of fear (and insecurity). I must have faith in Him who is faithful, in Him who loves me for who I am, in Him who will not shortchange me. Lord, help me be focused. Lord, help me know you love me.

The Sorting Hat

On my Facebook, I have The Sorting Hat application. After doing the online test, I was sorted into the Gryffindor house, just like Harry Potter was.

One night, I happened to mention this to X who was staying late with me. She got really excited about it and decided to do The Sorting Hat test at once. I predicted she would be sorted into the Ravenclaw house, and I was right! I figured that since she was a person who prized logic in solving problems, she'd probably be the type who would be able to solve riddles like the brilliant Ravenclaws did in JK Rowling's book.

X then commented: "Maybe JK Rowling has invented a personality test somewhat like the DISC type of test."

And I thought, hey, why not?

Both of us, being very boh liao, then decided to start guessing which people we knew would be sorted into which houses. And interestingly, we came up with similar guesses. When we finally came to a particular person we both knew, we both burst out laughing because we realised that the person did not fit in any of the houses.

Immediately, X looked at me and said: "That's because she's muggle-born!!!"

Yeah. I know in the Harry Potter world, even muggle-borns can become wizards, and be sorted by The Sorting Hat. But you know what, this person would be the muggle-born who would never believe in witches and wizards. Blinded. And pretty darn daft, if you ask me. Am I glad she would never be sorted.

fill in the blanks

Today, 18-year-old B, wrote in his feedback form for me:

"Thank you for being there and helping to fill in the blanks in my family."

This has been, by far, the most poetic feedback for me. I need to draw it out. Thank you, B.

deciphering me (by Brooke Fraser)

Verse 1:
Friend, it's getting late, we should be going
We have sat here beneath these flickering neons for hours.
While I am cracking their code, you are deciphering me
For I am a mystery, I am a locked room in a tall tower.

Chorus:
Oh can you feel the gravity falling, calling us home?
Oh did you see the stars colliding? Shining just to show,
We belong.
We belong.

Verse 2:
Your telescope eyes see everything clearly
My vision is blurred but I know what I heard
Echoing all around.
Well I am tuning you in and you are deciphering me.
Not such a mystery, not such a faint and far away sound.

Bridge:
It's love, it's love that holds us
We will be alright
It's truth, it's truth that shows us
As we walk in this life.

It's love, it's love that holds us
We will be alright
It's truth, it's truth that shows us
As we walk in this life.

tummy woes

I don't know if I played too hard. But after a night out with olduvai at Blujazz Cafe and Timbre@The Arts House, I fell sick. I wonder if it's the beef lasagne I had at Blujazz, cos that very night I was purging, and the next day I was puking and down with a fever. And I had to miss the cell bbq at Jo's place! Boo hoo.

Despite tummy woes and rolling in pain in bed, Sunday was great. For the first time, I received quite a few compliments for the sounds I played on the synth! It was great fun fiddling around with the brass and motion synth patches. Fun :) Thank God I was well enough to play with the band.

Today, well, I'm on mc. It's pretty nice staying home actually, cos I get to read my notes from the creative arts therapy course. It's really inspiring reading about the Space Of Her Own (SOHO) programme in the US, where the arts professionals team up with the courts to help at-risk teenage girls makeover their bedrooms. Through doing so, they build up their self-esteem, learn new skills and stay out of crime. Wish Singapore had something like that. It would be so fun and valuable. I wouldn't mind volunteering to be a mentor for something like that!

If you're happy and you know it...

If you're happy and you know it, say cheese. It's such a warm fuzzy feeling when a little kid snuggles up to you happily when you ask him to take a picture with you. And he's not even my kid. Like today, in church, he shouted "aunty dawn" right across the entire row of seats. And then he walked from one end of the row to the other end to give me a hug. Really melts your heart you know...

+++

Yesterday was a happy day, although I woke up from a nightmare because the ex's birthday falls on the same day as ethan mummy's. There were some disturbing thoughts in the morning, but the rest of the day was pure bliss with the cell at J's beautiful built-from-scratch home in Orchard, and later on to celebrate ethan mummy's birthday with other CS friends at Timbre. Yay :)

Taking a course: play dough

Course title: Creative and Experiential Therapy with Adolescents in Groups.
Today we kneaded, pressed and twisted plasticine onto our porcelain cups and saucers. Purpose: to represent the experience of a conversation on the very ordinary. Mine touched on the very ordinary task of buying the cup and saucer from Daiso at Plaza Singapura yesterday. And as always, an application/theme/pattern in my life was derived from that "single moment". Of course, it always helps to be working in the social work sector, because you tend to be more aware of such reflections. I loved looking at all my coursemates' products. They were really cute! I love these creative sessions! Great stuff.

forehead

After the spa therapy on Fri with Ethan mummy, my forehead suffered a breakout the next day. Luckily my fringe can cover it. But it's itchy, and dotty. Irritated! Trying to figure out what caused it, cos it's definitely an allergy to something. Maybe it's the green tea oil used for the massage... it wasn't used on my face, but my hands had some of it and I used my hands to comb through my hair. Quick quick go away, you awful thingies!

On a separate note, I'm on course tomorrow! YAY! THREE WHOLE DAYS!!! :)

Re: Embrace

My across-the-aisle neighbour told me to continue processing the incident. Somehow, we knew that something would hit me, some day. It's how the unconscious works I guess, when you try to reach for a heightened sense of self-awareness. It's like this piece of jigsaw trying to find its fit in your body chemistry, and when it reaches there suddenly, everything clicks.

She got her own epiphany in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep. I got mine during lunch today, alone, over a bowl of sliced fish thick bee hoon and a smaller bowl of fried fish roe (which I think I overdosed on). It was hot, the weather I mean, and the coffee shop was noisy and smoky.

It just hit me. Fortunately, I had with me two sheets of tissue paper.

I was reminded of how I wanted to be strong, and had to be strong, for her who was so dear to me. Although I knew (and I still know) that she could survive without me, I just felt I had to be strong for her. Because she was vulnerable too, and she wouldn't show it. Not to me, at least.

And when the mother hugged me yesterday, the feeling of having to be strong for her who was so dear to me just came back. How incredible that two such separate experiences connected so deeply for me. It's really like what F writes in her blog - the "therapist's therapy". I resonated.

Embrace

It was the embrace that startled me.
Then it was the mother's tears that made me cry.
In that freeze frame when she hugged me, it was more than gratitude I felt.
And I'm trying to find out why.
With tears in her eyes, she said "I couldn't have done it without you", but it was still more than gratitude I felt.
And I still don't know what, don't know why, don't know how.
But I felt completely overwhelmed.
I went in fearful, apprehensive and anxious.
It was that all too familiar heart beating so fast. So fast.
I had my script, with help from her daughter.
But I was still fearful to break the news from her daughter.
My across-the-aisle neighbour told me to hold my heart and breathe deep, and to get a glass of warm water.
I had already done that, not with water but with hot tea.
But I was still fearful.
It could be the general association with his suicide.
I'm still trying to find out.
But the incredible thing is, I went in fearful and came out connected.
It's like someone reached into my heart and gently pressed the cry button.
I just felt like crying.
I am crying.
It's just so deep.
I can't explain it.
I hope I can.

chill...

It's 1.40am on a Sunday morning. I just got back from Timbre at Substation. It's really fast becoming my favouritest music place. Today the Goodfellas were playing, punk rock type of stuff, plus U2 plus Pearl Jam, pretty nice. Though I still prefer the band Timmy, which plays on Fridays. They play more pop rock and lots of 90s music, which is nice :) And there's Eric the boh-chap-slacker-dude-crocs-wearing electric guitarist. I like. HAHA.

But tonight was nice too. I guess cos the company - some people from my cell - was nice. We've never hung out for drinks before, and it was really nice to enjoy drinks and music together.

And of all people, I met my bro! HAHAHA. It's one of those moments you see someone soooo familiar you wonder whether you've ever met him before. Yar, that was such a moment as I came out of the toilet and saw my bro. Ever the socialite, he kept joining us for chats. Nice boy. Hee.

Happy.

Passed

After 7 long years in the wildnerness, my bro has finally earned his polytechnic diploma - at the age of 25. It's been such a long detour, all starting with truancy back in junior college, followed by a series of turns, misses and crashes. Even when he told my mum that he had indeed graduated, my mum would not believe it until she saw the results in black and white. The letter finally arrived in the mailbox today. Like a woman expecting her pregnancy test results (and probably dreading it), my mum egged me on to open the letter. And there it was finally: "Passed and completed the diploma course." She could only shout hallelujah (ok, she didn't exactly say that, but it was something like that.) And even now, just an hour after opening the letter, she still can't stop talking about the pass. Congrats brudder :)

It's a good busy

1. Halfway through a parenting help book before passing it to Ethan mummy.

2. Halfway through a book on bipolar depression, so that I can understand my youth better. It's pretty inspiring actually. Did you know that many famous people had bipolar? Eg Winston Churchill, Mike Wallace etc...

3. Two more unread books lying on my dining table: A Thousand Splendid Suns (by Khaled Hosseini), and another on teens and sex. Gee, I love fiction, but ever since I got into social work, I've started to read lots of non-fiction! I think I'd still prefer fiction, cos I love escaping into another world...

4. One unread book on learning styles, to be returned to my colleague tomorrow, cos she needs to use it for a groupwork at a secondary school.

5. Almost through a new song I've tentatively titled "Wonderfully and Fearfully Made", inspired by Psalm 139. Maybe I might call it "My Maker", well, we'll see. Need to record it soon, and need JPorn's help for it! I hope my fervour doesn't die.

6. This morning, a new tune (guitar inspired) for a chorus rang in my head. Switched on my camera, turned it to the microphone mode, and sang into it. I hope I can make it into another song.

7. Supposed to start on writing an article on my dad's passing and my grief by Sunday night. Haven't started. It's gonna be published in the Christian magazine called Impact.

8. Involved in the conceptualisation of this coffee table book on social work. Work's going on.

9. At work, I'm getting excited over a year-end youth concert. Hoping to get my Sec 1 boys to drum an item, but need to settle the costs of engaging Jem as instructor and renting the percussive instruments. Sigh, hope all works out. I absolutely luuurve these performing thingies, especially having the boys perform!

10. A friend cried over the phone today. I felt sad. I hope he doesn't choose to suffer too long. Funny, he always seems to love the other more than the other loves him. I understand where he's coming from. I hope he can move on like I did.

Busy busy busy... but I love the busy now... It's a good busy... :)

easties reunite

A bunch of us RGS girls used to go to school together during our sec sch days. We called ourselves the easties. And we had all sorts of adventures on the train and bus, from sliming SJI boys to bioh-ing erm... ACS boys... on bus 190, which we would board from Orchard Boulevard. Hmm...something like that lah. My memory does fail me, it's been what, 15 years ago? Eug wrote a nice something about our brunch at Prime Society at Dempsey. http://eugenie811.livejournal.com/8607.html
Nice. (I don't know why I can't link on blogger...sigh...)

I hate lizards, but they don't!

There are two guys I know who love lizards. One's my bro, and the other's lil' ethan, as seen in a fireman's suit below. The first guy, who is already 25 years old, continues to derive extreme pleasure from scaring people with Lizard, as pictured on my macbook. He hides Lizard beneath the felt cloth covering for my keyboard and waits in sheer anticipation for his older sister to lift the cloth up. Sometimes, he also throws Lizard at me while I'm watching TV. As for lil' Ethan, he calls Lizard "CUTE LIZARD". *faint*. I hope he doesn't grown up to be like my warped bro, though he does show some potential! EEKS!

4 funerals and a breached case

I don't know if it's the Seventh Month effect, but in the last week or so, I've known of four deaths. (FL my colleague said she also knew of the same number. And just as she said that, an SMS beeped my phone informing me of a new death.)

Just today, as I was flipping through ST, I decided to peruse the Obituary pages, something I very seldom do. I saw the name of the deceased and thought it looked really familiar. I looked down, saw the names of the mother and finally one of the sons, and realised that the deceased was the father of one of my youths. My heart started beating very fast, and I don't know why. I guess it was more like shock, because my youth had always talked about his father living an everyday-type of life - working, staying home, cracking lame jokes occasionally. Turns out the man collapsed in front of his wife during a conversation, from what is believed to be a heart attack.

I just returned from the wake. The youth's pretty mature, already 18. And he said one thing that I thought was so true: "I look at my dad's photo and I can't believe it's true." I totally agreed with him. I guess you can't believe it's true until you see the coffin go into the hole.

+++

Just before I left for the wake, I had to break some sad news to the family of another youth, who is on a programme for young offenders. I had to fail him on the programme because he was still highly at risk. The father sort of pleaded for me to help the boy out, by giving another chance and extending the programme instead of breaching it. I guess I would be doing a disservice to the boy if I didn't breach him, because he already was given many chances. Sigh, really don't know, it's hard to break news to parents. But it's harder to live on knowing that I would be doing a disservice to the boy! If he needs to be convicted in court to learn the seriousness of his crime, then I guess he needs to learn it the hard way...If not, he'll never learn...

Inspired

Wayne and Libby, former members of the Parachute Band (a Christian band from NZ), conducted a music workshop cum sharing session with the worship ministry on Sat. I think they are sort of becoming our ministry mentors, as someone put it. I was so inspired by them, and their drive to be excellent in order to serve others. Yes, there's a stark difference between excellence and perfectionism.

Excellence is about others; perfectionism is about myself.
Excellence is not a destination you arrive at, it's an attitude you live with.

Indeed, I hope I can strive to be excellent, so that I can lead others closer to Christ. In the meantime, I'm hoping to write some songs - about God this time. It's been more than 5 years since I last wrote something. Hopefully God will put a new song in my heart this time. And hopefully too, I won't be ashamed of what I've written. Don't be perfectionistic gal, be excellent. Serve others.

shortlisted

I've been shortlisted for the first round auditions of Deal or No Deal! Haha.
Let's see how it goes :)

girl talk

nice girl talk today at Miss Clarity along Purvis Street, together with ah wing and eug.
quotable quote by eug: "But he loves me silently!!!"
yeah, we all need someone to love us loudly, don't we? :)
as an aside, I saw one of my colleagues' youths sitting at a nearby table. how strange that I keep bumping into him - he's an apprentice at the salon I frequent, and here he is with his gf at the cafe I'm dining at!

post-dinner trim

Kartaly requests for Ethan Mummy to cut her fringe - in the comfort of Ethan Mummy's five-room flat. Diaper-strapped Ethan looks on, at first saying an ominous "don't cut! don't cut!", before commenting "shorter...shorter..." Yes, yes, Ethan darling, we know Aunty Kartaly's fringe is getting shorter. But Mummy can handle it - and she does! *clap clap* Aunty Kartaly's happy too :) And that's how our Saturday home-cooked pasta dinner party ended!

K 歌夜睌

Another night of kara-forever-ok with the kiasu bunch that wastes no time in choosing songs. They plan their song list even before they step into the room! They even prepare my warm-up song! :p

881: 一人一半

Caught Royston Tan's 881 today. The title track 一人一半 is simply captivating. The original Hokkien song has been remixed into part Hokkien part Mandarin. Here're the solo and duet versions.

Time to record

Finally am back from my recording session at the studio. I haven't sung in soooo long, my voice takes so long to warm up, I can't reach the high notes well, and my vibralto shivers. Sigh... We finally finished the song at 1am. I'm tired...now just waiting for my hair to dry and then I'll hit the sack... zzzzzz

Response

God must know how crazy I felt last night. This morning, I opened my email inbox and saw a surprise email from a Christian friend. Not a close one though. He said he couldn't shake off a dream he had of me last night, and he shared a message he felt that God wanted me to know. And that message really hit home. Isn't God so good?

The supposed Hate Psalm

I wanted to write a tirade of stuff against the Ex. And I wanted to title it "Hate Psalm for the Ex". No, wait a minute, it would be lowercase "e" for "the ex", cos he absolutely doesn't deserve the capital status. Actually while I was waiting at the bus-stop after Festival of Praise earlier, I did come up with some fantabulous phrases. They just kinda conjured up in my head. But my anger subsided. It's weird how after a night of wonderful praise with Delirious? (they're still so good tho abit emo now) and Don Moen, I could still think up such scathing remarks. Yeah, I think somewhere deep inside me that anger reaches boiling point and then simmers. When it's at boiling point, it's somewhat like this... ok maybe I should write a bit of that Hate Psalm. Why Hate Psalm? Cos it's as honest as it can get, and King David was as honest as he could get in the book of Psalms in the bible.

Ok so here goes...

Ihateyou
Youfgsoab
.......

Oh well, there was much much more in my head at the bus-stop, and I did think I was such a wonderfully angry poet, someone should pay me money to write stuff like that. But now, the words are not coming. Maybe one day, when I can't get to sleep and start getting angry, I should switch on my macbook and start typing furiously. Yeah, when I feel like breaking the beer jug and splashing the whole damn thing into his freakin face. And if that bitch is there, perhaps her too. Ok the anger's coming, I better stop. Seriously, sometimes people look at me and ask me if I'm all right. Seriously? I'm damn all right lor, what do you think? If only I could stop being angry. Because every time I think what a fg cheating liar he was, and I repeat fg cheating liar, I just wanna scratch his car. Do something. Whatever. If I really ever see him again, I would really have to do all I can to stop myself from kicking his bloody ass. Piece of shit you are.

God, I know you totally understand. Just help me be less angry.

Ethan hugged me today

Maybe children know when adults are feeling like crap. And that's why Ethan liked me a little more today. No boh chap-ing AuntY Dawn (Yes! Her can now pronounce the "ty" in "Aunty"!), he actually willingly agreed to my request for a hug. How schwweeet...I wanna cry liaos :p

His hug really made me feel better.

Have been feeling really frustrated at work. That's a story that is dangerous to reveal publicly. But I've been feeling really really really frustrated. I wish I could do everything by myself and then I don't have to entertain shit. But oh well, it doesn't happen. And shit does. So I have to deal with it.

I really wish I could just concentrate on therapy, whether in groups or individually. It's a much more effective use of my time, and I enjoy it.

Thank God that today it was such a relief when I praised Him during cell. Yeah, He's teaching me to praise Him despite everything. I felt released. Amen.

Reflections this week

EK's testimony in church: "I am a wounded healer."

YM's poetry: "In brokenness there is healing." (And her possible second poem on tears and their meaning.)

Mine own words: "He has a special place in my heart - he's so unloved."

Second baby...

The second 4/6 baby is born...

Fanyin's baby Yuan Kai :)

Harry oh Harry...

Five Harry Potter books in two weeks...
I read in the train,
Read at lunch,
Read in the toilet,
Read before bed,
Read and read...

And now I'm wondering whether I should pre-order the last book...
It's damn ex lor!

Sigh...

As for the movie Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, it really falls short of the standard set by the book. I don't blame the movie lah... I've always been one who prefers the rich detail offered by the book. It's always better left to the imagination isn't it? So the movie, well, falls short...

an eye for a guy

It's so funny how almost everyone has been asking me if I have a guy in my life - including a 13-year-old girl I'm counselling. Today she looked at me, and in an almost inaudible whisper, said: "Can I ask you something? Have you ever thought of getting married?"

(Hey, of course man, what'd ya expect?)

Thoughtfully, I asked her: "Why?"

She replied, looking at me with her innocent eyes through her thick glasses: "Cos har...I've been thinking har...what kind of a guy you would like..."

(At this point in time, I feel like I've been "stupefied" by a wizarding spell, all thanks to too much Harry Potter I've been reading...)

This girl sometimes stumps me with the most adult questions and comments, quite contrary to the childlikeness she portrays to most others.

I thought again. And replied: "I really don't know, you know..."

She looked at me, curious. I have a feeling she's still trying to come up with a guy she thinks might suit me.

Funny girl :)

Hey Mr Sandman!

Brought some of my students for a sandcastle-building competition today at East Coast beach. One group earned the 2nd prize in the youth category, for their pretty creative city. Heh heh. This particular group really enjoyed themselves :)


With help from a set of sandcastle modelling tools, they built smashing structures like these...

Check out the Acropolis-like amphitheatre below...

East Coast delight

kartaly, me and olduvai.
Thought it was such a happy picture. Decided to put it up. Delightful.

Their dream car

Name of car: Home-former (yeah a car that is supposed to transform into a house. HAHA.)


Name of car: (can't remember...something along the lines of surfer or super-surfer)

Accompanied some students for an edu-seminar on Saturday. To learn about goal-setting and planning, they were asked to build their dream car from raw materials such as cellophane paper, wooden sticks (slightly broader than ice-cream sticks), styrofoam etc... Here's what they came up with. Pretty cool huh? Too bad they didn't win any prizes for theirs :( Champion was this car that had stereo blasting from it! The students actually hid a mobile phone with music playing in the body of the car! What creative geniuses they are :)

bewitched

I'm on my third Harry Potter book this week. The books have cast a spell on me. I'm bewitched.
Need sleep so badly! Olduvai's back from UK for a few weeks. Had a really good meet up with the rest of the journos. Miss them loads, just them, not the work. Heh. Gonna meet them for karaoke again tonight. I hope I survive. I really need sleep. But Harry Potter's not letting me!

Meals

Girlfriends:
Girlfriends tell you it's ok to check your boyfriend's mobile phone in secret (cos they do that too).
Girlfriends tell you he's a pri*k, and they never liked his face.
Girlfriends simply love you enough to tell you the truth, and nothing but the truth.
I love tell-all 三八 dinners with girlfriends - the last one at Insomnia, CHIJMES.

+++

Older friends:
Older friends tell you they saw it coming when you didn't. (But they tell you nicely).
Older friends say it objectively so you don't feel so stupid.
Older friends, well, they are usually wise and it's nice to talk to wise people.
I love slow lunches with older friends - the last one at Cedele, Wheelock Place.

Aren't meals such useful, lovely things? :)

Going bananas!

Mother sent me this email with the title: "A Banana A Day Keeps The Doctor Away".

The first sentence in the email went like this: "Never, put your banana in the refrigerator!!!" The email then went on to extol the virtues of that yellow-skinned fruit.

Okaaay....

So, I saw this email after my mother burst through the door earlier on and exclaimed: "Never keep bananas in the fridge!!!"

Trying to keep my attention on Deal or No Deal on Channel 5, I asked: "Why?"

She replied: "Don't know. That's what the email I sent you said."

Hmm...

Wah Lau. Turns out she misinterpreted the email!!! The email was trying to explain why we should all eat our bananas and not keep them in cold storage (pun not intended). The point is, we can keep our bananas ANYWHERE, as long as we eat them to enjoy the benefits of the fruit!!! Oh man...

I can't imagine that my mother didn't even bother to find out the reason bananas should be kept out of the fridge!!! How can she believe the email just like that, misinterpretation aside???

Sigh...

I wanna be a Campus Superstar

J and I went karaoke-ing the other day. That was the first time I'd ever sung in the open room ie the room where others sing and can hear you sing. A bit paiseh, but also quite shiok!

J said: "Pls lah, you want to wait until you're 40 then sing for people to hear? At that time they say nice also too late already! Now you're 28 only, just sing!"

It was fun. Decided to try out Remember Me This Way by Jordan Hill, a ballad that Keith my ex-singing teacher used to force me to sing nine years back. I always thought those songs were so cheesy, but no choice, they are difficult to sing and therefore make good training songs. I think I still sounded decent that night.

Then I turned to J and said: "Sigh, if I were still young, I would join Campus Superstar..."

J turned to me and replied: "Me too!"

Haha!!! 我们真的老了。。。

what a crazy week

What a crazy week it has been. Crazy crazy crazy. I'm tired, but my mind can't rest. It's gotta do with work, but I refuse to say more.

I really need a break. Or rather, my mind needs a break.

On a side note, I'm not such a perfectionist after all. In recent months, I've been working within my limitations. And accepting the imperfections that come with it. I'm not even complaining. Yes, I'm not even complaining. How cool is that?

those damn kids

Of course, I say "damn" with affection. And I really can't help it.

I visit Sher's blog and I smile when I read about her adventures with her children in aussieland.

I watch lil' Ethan clamouring for his mother's attention, and I shake my head in amusement. (Imagine a footballer faking injury on the soccer pitch - yes, that's Ethan all right.)

I listen as Ethan mummy, seated on the steps at Boat Quay with me and L while Ethan goes on a rampage, saying: "Seriously, you guys should cherish your singlehood when you can." And I try to nod inside.

I listen to the heartaches of my youths' parents and I go: "Oh man, what a difficult job it is to parent!"

I think about how he freaked out (and decided to look elsewhere) when he had to entertain the thought of having kids, and I think...

How did I take so long to realise how much I want kids? Despite the risks, somehow, I still want them.

Oh gosh...I finally feel it in my bones - I'm getting old.

The first 4/6 baby

The 4/6 girls saw one another through rgs, rj, courtship and marriage. And now Karen has popped. Baby Chloe was born on Friday. Maybe we should come up with a class of 4/6 family tree! So proud of Karen.

Release, relief

Title: eye peering out of blue egg shell


Title: jack in a box

Over the three-day experiential and creative arts therapy course, we had produced art pieces of seemingly ordinary experiences. The topmost one (Title: eye peering out of blue egg shell) was a response to having to move to a piece of music played. The one below it (Title: jack in a box) was a response to a 15-minute wordless stroll with a fellow participant at Fort Canning Park.

At the end of the three days, we were told to look over our artwork to find common themes. I remembered what F said about my drawings being about "boxes", and how she would not have thought about drawing "boxes", and I went hmm... Interestingly, yes.

And after much thought, one theme emerged and fit for me: When I release my grief and fear, then I experience relief and comfort.

I've been such a closed up person all my life, afraid to let others know how I really feel. If I could describe myself, I would be a bottle with a tight cap. It was the need to be strong for myself, and for the people I love, that I refused to be opened. I was afraid to imagine what it would be like to be vulnerable, and how that would affect those close to my heart. So I remained closed.

But. Now, I'm glad. Glad that I'm releasing. Because I'm finding relief. And the best part is, I find that I'm not hurting myself or those I love. And I'm healing. Great stuff.

Title: boy and girl

Title: boy and girl

raw

Just came home from worship practice.
I'm a bundle of raw nerves now.
Touch me and I might crackle.

Crossroads

I'm currently attending a course on experiential and creative arts therapy. Today, a very brave participant volunteered to be the client, so that the trainer could conduct a counselling session to show us how a session could be conducted using creative arts therapy. We, as the viewers, were asked to do different tasks as we watched the session going on. I was one of those who was supposed to draw whatever key images came to our minds as we observed the client.

I found myself connecting with her in a way I could not verbalise, and it was a really powerful experience for me. As I watched her draw her beginning experiences of her current relationship, and tell stories from her drawing, I resonated with her at certain points.

And, I found myself picking up my crayons and start sketching the night he asked me to be his girlfriend. With a vague grey crayon, I drew the bridge and the full moon. With a dark blue crayon, I sketched the ripples of the water. And on the embankment, I filled in two almost invisible stick figures - one boy, one girl - holding hands. And, I held my heart tight.

When the counselling session ended and the viewers were asked to volunteer the responses they would like to share with the client, a fellow participant recited a poem she'd written for the client. And, one word, "crossroads", hit me. Pretty hard.

As I walked home later, I couldn't stop my tears. It has been one major crossroad for me this year. It was either one or the other, and my heart broke when I had to choose. Now, as I picture myself at the crossroad, I know I only had one way to walk. And I took that step. But I had to leave a part of me behind. If you ask me how big that part is, I really don't know. Nevertheless, a part is still a part. And it hurts.

As an important person told me, rest in the Lord like how you need a rest at night. I am resting because it is not hard. But when the tears flow (and they haven't flowed much at all), my heart clenches up again. I want to rest, till my heart releases that grip and can only ache that little bit.

我有我的路。。。

而我很開心能和五月天一起走這條路。一起歡呼，一起哭。It's really ironic how the happiest memories in your life can turn into some of the saddest. And Mayday has gone through some of the happiest and saddest with me. Last night's concert was one of their best, and I loved that they paid tribute, through their songs, to the people who've inspired them - Che Guevara, John Lennon... And I believe the legendary Hong Kong rock band Beyond (Mayday did a rendition of Paradise). Rock solid, all the way to the end.

Dear Mayday, may you continue to celebrate life and music like you always have been. Here's to rocking with you when you're 60, and when I'm 60 too. With crutches or not. Luv you guys. Continue to inspire me :)

They brighten up my day :)

Yesterday, one boy told me: "Miss XXX, I'm very honest with you one."
And he made my day :)

Today, on my way to watch Shrek 3, I bumped into another boy who gave me this huge smile and a happy "HEY MISS XXX!! I just now got soccer match lah! Where you going?"
And he made my day :)

The shyest of them all

During the last groupwork session (last year) with my youths, we were all supposed to write an affirmation for one another. And I remember one girl saying that although I was the "shyest" of all the social workers present, I was (and then she said some good things about me).

And, I went home thinking about being shy. I know what she meant wasn't exactly "shy shy", but more of someone who would rather let someone else stand and lead. And that's what I am - a circumstantial leader. Give me a curtain and I'll gladly hide behind it. Ask me to stand in front of it and I'll hem and haw, but I'll eventually do it - behind a confident facade.

And this time, I have to get out of my comfort zone again, and conduct a support group session for parents of youths who have committed petty crimes. Having to facilitate a session for parents all older than me isn't exactly my cup of tea. It can be pretty intimidating when you have very vocal parents. And I have to always tell myself to remember the role I'm playing - that of a facilitator, NOT teacher. So there's never a need to be scared that you can't answer anything, because ultimately, you facilitate the sharing of the parents.

But what I find most helpful for me, is really a prayer before each session. I should constantly ask God to make me an instrument of blessing for the parents. And I should leave it as that. If I am an instrument that He uses, then He will do all the work for me. May I continue to remember that. Amen.

Urban trek

It's once again time to recce the route for my youths' overnight trek. It used to be that I would bawl at the idea of walking 6hrs...without sleeping. But it seems like I've changed. Just that little bit I guess? The outdoorsy me is returning. Although not in full force, but it's arrived somewhat. This time, we're gonna have a pirates theme for the entire trek, after my colleague suggested Pirates of the Caribbean as an inspiration. Kent Ridge Park will be one of the "pit-stops". Actually, the canopy board walk there (see pic above) is really a nice place for a stroll - minus the mozzie attacks of course! There's a pretty nice view of some plantation thingy below.


Another of our "pit-stops" is Labrador Park. This is my first time taking time to really explore the place a bit more, and I found that there're sculptures of soldiers loading guns (see pic above) somewhere in the park. It's quite a historic place you'll find, if you walk around a bit searching out things called "gun emplacements" (think it's somewhere the soldiers used to fire canons?) as well as secret tunnels.

It was a pretty fun walk today, actually. Enjoyed it.

one year

Tomorrow marks one year into my new job. And I just wanna say, I love my job. One of the most satisfying parts of my job is being able to help parents and their children understand each other better. The family unit is, without a doubt, so important to the growth of a child...

That funny boy

I tagged along with a team of three 13-year-old boys on Saturday for an Amazing Race event. My feet nearly died, because I walked and ran with them for six whole hours . And I ended up having to go home in my extra pair of flip flops in the office, cos I had blisters from not wearing proper running shoes.

Thank goodness the three boys in the team were sweet. Especially S, with his classic comments. S is this cute boy with a flat top. He reminds of a carrot - wide bulky body with skinny legs. He claims to know everything and to have done everything, so much so that I found it hard to believe him. In the end, it turned out that he was indeed a walking bus directory. And, we should have listened to him more, instead of asking him to walk faster.

Oh, and he claims to be Ugly Betty. Hahahaha.

Let me narrate a really hilarious incident. It was his turn to climb the rock wall, and being a carrot, he had much difficulty scaling the wall. His butt was jutting out, and his feet just couldn't find a foothold. Halfway through, his four limbs went limp and he started pleading very loudly "Can I pls come down? Can I pls come down?"

Wanting to know what was happening, the instructors called out to him, giving him instructions on how to continue the climb. All this time, his limbs just wouldn't listen. Finally, he looked down at me and shouted: "My leg got blood! My leg got blood!" Ok... so he was let down. But because he didn't know how to get into the rapelling position, he simply let himself get scraped against the wall, like chalk drawing a crooked line down the blackboard. OUCH.

Guess what? When S touched the ground and was asked to show his supposedly bloody legs, there was NO BLOOD!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Damn funny! He's so damn cute :)

More of Hokkaido

(click on the montage to see bigger pix)

Colour me beautiful

CIMG4869
Originally uploaded by slumberinggirl.

Hokkaido (see picture) was a long awaited break that I took to cheer me up. I don't kid myself that holidays are a spoonful of medicine to the aching heart. After all, I don't think I've ever been so deeply hurt before. But I do amaze myself at the way I've picked myself up. And I only have God to thank, for He is ever faithful to me, despite the way I always trip up. Relationships are my weak point, and I guess I've never owned up to it. Until now. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. And, I know he'll add flowers along my way to colour me beautiful. And for that, I say "arigato gozaimasu". Ganbate.

Ohayo!!!

Back from Hokkaido :)
Was a fun trip. Loved it. A bit tiring tho... Shall post pix up when I get my Macbook back.

Social work improves your math

It did for me.

I never knew I would have to do that much budgeting, but I do. These are some of the items I budget for:
manpower
transport (right down to bus fares)
stationery
rental of equipment
logistics
food
printing

Being a person who hates counting money, I've definitely improved a little bit!

I'm not a sentimental freak this time

When someone you love so much morphs into someone you don't know (read: monster), you shudder and wonder if you ever really knew the person. That's what I'm suffering from now: post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. No love left, just shock. Ok maybe I'm exaggerating the PTSD part, but I really don't know how else to describe it. At first, just to comfort myself that I couldn't have been so stupid, I wanted to keep The Box. The old shoe box that kept all the letters and cards that he so endearingly penned to me - up till the year 2004. Even all the fading ticket stubs to Mayday concerts, jazz performances and movies that we attended together. I thought, perhaps if I kept The Box, I could remember him as I first knew him. Then I wouldn't chide myself for being so damn stupid for missing out the blindspots. But two nights ago, I decided that I would be even more damn stupid to kid myself further. So, The Box went to the dumpster. Hey, guess what, being the sentimental freak that I am, I still keep another box, of things belonging to the first boyfriend. Why? Because those memories are still worth keeping despite the breakup. Not The Box though. And one more thing, I made sure to take out my Mayday ticket stubs first. Mayday rox, forever! :)

TAF on them

Did you know that secondary school students in the TAF (Trim and Fit) Programme go for runs in their school uniform, not their PE attire???

Every Thursday, I approach XXX Secondary School as these plus-sized teenagers huff and puff their way around the school. The girls are wearing skirts and the boys, trousers. How come like dat ah? Why no need to change into PE attire? Not hot ah?

Strange. But what a funny sight it is!

F

F is for Fresh Start.
Collected my mobile phone from the Nokia Care Centre a few days back. With the repair came along a wipeout of everything in the phone memory - photos, contact numbers, SMSes and all. Funny how I did feel sad about it, but at the same time a big part of me also couldn't care less. I'll just shoot new photos, key in new contact numbers and receive new SMSes. When I said bye, I was more ready to move on than I knew. Thank you, Lord.

R.I.P ~ 06/12/01 to 06/04/07

If it has to be this way...

So be it.

ironically...

I'm running a fever now... on my birthday of all days!!!

祝我生日快樂

I don't remember birthdays cos I usually don't bother about mine. But this year's different. Birthdays never meant so much till today. I don't know...Maybe it's because I've just turned 28 and I feel kinda empty. And emptied. Where have the years gone?

I usually don't do anything nice for myself on my birthday, but this time I did. I took the first half of the day off so that I could sleep in. And I had a haircut after work. In between, a very resilient woman in the counselling session cheered me up more.

Let's make a list of presents I got this year:
A pair of ballerina pumps
A real nice bag, that's one of a kind
A swivel chair (the office type)
Rachael Yamagata concert tix
Pedicure vouchers (including bday cake and pizza package)
Bodyshop shower gel and towel
An unopened box
Nice SMS msges, including a surprise one from Di, one of my youths
Nice post-it note on my door

And of cos, birthday song in four languages: Mandarin, English, Malay and Cantonese!!! Belle and hj, you gals made my day :) [Ethan mummy, wish you were there!]

Mayday madness

Yesterday, I did something crazy for Mayday. And really, I wish I didn't have to go through it...I'm getting old.

Under some stupid promotional thingie, Mayday June concert tix went on sale to the public yesterday, but you could only buy them if you queued up at the sistic outlet at IMM building as they would only go on sale online today.

The IMM sale was supposed to coincide with a performance cum autograph session that the band was giving at the same time. So stupid right? People who want to get the best seats at the concert would surely queue, and not get to see Mayday at the concurrent performance right?

Ok that's not the point. The point is, Jaz started queuing for tix at 5pm and, with the queue inching ever so slowly, at 9pm four hours later, she still hadn't got the tix! I had to work late yesterday and to save her (so that she could go for her driving lesson), I cabbed down and took over her place in the queue. And I didn't get the tix until 11pm.

SIAO AHHHH!!!! If I didn't feel bad about Jaz having already wasted four hours queuing, I would have settled for ordering tix online today. Who cares about getting the best seats now???

**********

Rachel Yamagata was great at the Esplanade today :)
Humorous, witty, talented... truly herself. Just being herself.
So nice.

The Space Between

When one needs space to think, will the space widen?
I'm scared.
No, no.
Just trust the space between - and God.

Hana Kimi...watched on MacTV

I finally finished the last episode of Hana Kimi on youtube last night, and went to bed with sweet dreams of Ella's and Wu Zun's onscreen chemistry. Love, pure and simple, so nice to watch on my MacTV.

*MacTV = Slumbering girl's Macbook-turned-TV, all thanks to youtube :)

Humming...

A colleague was humming the tune today...and I hummed with her...

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way.

Happy CNY - trying not to look like a big fat ang pow

(From top to bottom) (1) me, bro and the cuzzies - the one on the extreme right took my mum's advice and wore red for three whole days so that she could win at mahjong. She even wore a red t-shirt over her nightie when playing with her folks at night. And she won all the way! (2) me bro, trying to look cool. (3) me, wearing red for the first time on CNY. red red good luck :)

五月天

這五年來，你出現在我生命里的每一個角落。其實，五月天原本是 我最愛的。但如今可能會變成一個我期待永不到來的一天。不過，我還是會祈禱。願我們終結孤單。

Wait

There is a time when the waiting seems interminable.
And you still have to wait.

Somewhere out there

I really feel like travelling far again, but when I think of the arduous plane ride, I get sick. I hate long-haul flights. But I really feel like travelling...somewhere far and beyond...

So here's remembering the Netherlands in 2005:


(See above) Oh no! I've just turned into a terrorist! :)


(See above) Loved the windmills I saw in Rotterdam...


(See above) Loved the architecture in Amsterdam too...

Visiting

A, my hairstylist, has been transferred to Ang Mo Kio hospital for intensive physio, or occupational therapy, whichever it is. I visited him today, and the first thing his mum said was: "Nice hair!"

To which, A, his mouth full of lunch, said: "Chey, I do a better job!"

Trust him to still have a sense of humour. And well, I couldn't agree more with him, though I am pretty pleased with my current cut.

Reality has set in for A, as he is slowly coming to terms with the fact that he has gotta relearn all the basic functions that we humans take for granted, like sitting up in bed. He tells me that he's classified as a tetraplegic, someone who experiences paralysis in all four limbs, though not necessarily total paralysis. And therapy has been depressing. In his words, he now has to learn "dog tricks".

I'm glad that being there to just chat with him appears to cheer him up. Yeah, anything including his candid revelation that FHM magazine is the closest he has to sex now. Err...even when I point out that his mum is there listening to us, he just laughs it off.

We go into a discussion on moles, and we all point out that his mum and I are full of moles. His mum points out a big one on her back near her neck and A jokes that the mole is his mum's burden, which is him. We chide him for saying that, reminding him that his mum never sees him as a burden cos she loves him.

And he is quiet.

And it's really these sometimes jovial and sometimes sombre moments that punctuate our hour-long conversation. And I'm sure they parallel the mood swings that he experiences when people he knows are not around.

I can only say, keep rejoicing in the Lord for He is with you.

Social Worker's Day

Today is Singapore's first Social Worker's Day. I'm so happy that ST ran so many stories on social workers, with the main theme being low pay and low recognition!

It is also rumoured that there'll be good news released later on at the Social Worker's Day celebration. I really hope the good news has to do with pay! :)

Back to school

Yes, I'm back to school. Back to a secondary school to conduct workshops for the Sec 1s, that is. I've forgotten how it's like to have to drag myself out of bed at 6am to reach school on time. Then again, it seemed much easier in the past to wake up for school. Now, it's simply sheer torture.

In just three consecutive days, I've encountered the most well-behaved class, as well as the most hyperactive class. In the hyperactive class, I had four girls and one boy who ended up crying! HIYOH!!! They were uncontrollable. Girl and boy push each other, girl cries. Boy plays with girl's wallet, ends up spoiling it, and girl cries. Two girls get gastric pains and cry. Big boy picks small boy up and spins him around on piggyback, only to have another boy push small boy down and small boys hits his knees on the ground and ends up crying.

In the end, hyperactive class has to go for pep talk with discipline master after the workshop. This, only on the 7th day of school. And I heard, on the 8th day of school, a group of boys from this class had to visit the discipline master again, cos they were too rowdy.

If I could have my way as principal of the school, I would love to divide this class of 40 up into two. They will definitely be more manageable, because their attention span is too short. Sigh...I pity the teacher! It's just impossible to handle so many of them at one time! Sometimes adminstrative constraints just prevent you to teach holistically...

First trip out of Singapore in 2007

For the last six years, I've been saying I would like to visit belle's hometown in Batu Pahat, Malaysia, but I've never made it there. And she chides me for making empty promises. So I decided to do the next best thing: hang out for a day with her and her bf in Johor, where her bf lives.

My oh my, seems like the entire Singapore decided to head north together with me on the first day of Jan 2007! The Johor customs was SUPER crowded. And, because of the not very clever layout of the counters, I ended up joining a queue that I'd thought was moving the fastest, but was NOT. Because the counter was the furthest away from the other counters!!! I wasn't tall enough to see far enough beyond the crowds in front of me (see above pic), so I couldn't tell that my queue was actually very very long.


One big reason we could hang out together was cos belle got her new car - a grey Toyota Vios (see above pic). Heh heh heh. No car in Malaysia = very boring, cannot move around easily.


What an irony too, that a Malaysian got a car plate number with the letters SGP. SGP is sort of an acronym for Singapore. Apparently her car agent told her that these letters are very hot with Singaporeans. Not like she cares! I couldn't resist posing with her car, in front of the row of houses where her bf lives.


Of cos, we took pix in her bf's house too. Check out his huge collection of comics! Got ladder some more ok! Donch pray pray :)

Ethan roars in the new year

(turn the volume up!)

HAPPY 2007 EVERYONE!!! :)