so it's the end

Tomorrow is my final exam paper. I'm really excited because it unofficially marks the completion of my course! My my, time really flies...

If there's one thing I've learnt from this experience, it's that having to work and study at the same time is no joke. I'm so glad I didn't have to do that. Some of my classmates have had to extend their studies because they couldn't cope with working and taking too many subjects at a shot. Plus, having to complete the student attachment while holding a fulltime job and going for classes is even worse. One friend does her student attachment during her lunch break, and after office hours. And she still attends classes at night. Zai man.

For me, I'm just glad that I can get this course over and done with, and start with a new chapter in my life. :)

cracks in the house

Cracks are appearing on the walls of my flat. Although they are not structural defects, more like a result of wear and tear, my mother is fretting over them quite a bit. There are at least six making their mark on the walls in the bedrooms and the walkway to the bedrooms.

She has also been inspecting the tiles in the kitchen and bathrooms. And hairline cracks have been appearing too. I believe the other units in the block should be facing the same problem. Hmm...is this cracking up really inevitable? Seriously, I don't really care because they don't look serious enough to warrant much attention. But in my mum's view, it's a matter of getting HDB to "make it right". I don't know, do all HDB flats have the same problem?

Also, seems like we can't ever get the same colour of paint on the walls again, over these cracks. Cos probably the existing paint on the walls has lightened due to (if I may put it this way) the "vagaries of nature". Or, perhaps, our leftover tins of paint are too old.

Anyways, here's a picture of how my brother's room wall looks after having its cracks plastered and painted over. Uhm, it was only after the paint dried that we realised it needed a few more extra coats! Oh yes, the cracks stretch from the ceiling to the floor. Very long!

Of jobs and superstars

1. I have been going for job interviews. And now that I've found a job (I'm doing youth work), I have to struggle with the pay I'm getting. It's really a matter of lowering my expectations, and as long as the Singapore government and society do not see the professionalism in social work, the pay will never match up to the rest of the world's.

It's really a viscious cycle. The people going for job interviews expect that they won't be paid a lot, and start to devalue themselves and ask for lower pay. And because of their asking price, organisations also don't see the point in offering more. But having said that, I hope to find lots of joy and meaning in what I'm going to do, to make up for this "loss" of income. It's a path I have chosen, and I must persevere :)

2. I'm going to appear in Simply Her magazine!!! Hahaha. Story's on finding meaning in life...so you know lah...no surprises why I was approached! It was a 10-minute phoner I did about my career change and I was asked to email a few pictures of myself. Errr....of course, they were the narcissistic ones I've been taking to see how slim my face can look, cos they are the nicest pix I have! Hahaha.

Anyways, the magazine later on felt that the people interviewed were interesting enough to have proper pix taken of them. So this friday I'm gonna be photographed and they'll do the hair and makeup!!! I'm quite excited, but also very paiseh. Wait my face round round fat fat how??? Ethan mummy says not to drink water the night before the shoot ie before I sleep, if not water retention will be my ruin. I shall bury that piece of invaluable advice in my heart, mind and soul.

3. Irritating HDB has given leo and me number 492 as our queue number!!! WAH LAU. That's more than the number of available units (365) lor!!! I thought we qualified for the priority scheme what!? The new flat is like just opposite my mother's flat can? That stupid fiance-fiancee priority status obviously is just for show. Sigh...

4. I went karaoke-ing again. So fun. But I think my voice is deteriorating. I wish I could have something to work towards, like a competition or something, so that I can train my voice. But alas, I think I'm too old for those things liaos...Now I can only live vicariously through Campus Superstar and Superband.

Talking about Campus Superstar, Adriano Huang is my favourite!!! I hope he gets signed on, then I can be his overaged groupie. Haha. It doesn't matter that I'm almost a decade older than him. He's so cute!!! Hahaha.

I'm employed

Gonna sign the contract next Tuesday. :)

Visit to Mr Lau's

Today was supposed to be the day I crammed all my errands into one day. Zapped notes for myself and my classmates so we got stuff to study for exams, bought food for Mr Jai but had to run off fast, and then, the highlight of the day...a visit to Mr Lau's.

Mr Lau is 90 years old this year. And he doesn't look like it at all (see picture, taken by R for me today.) Interviewing Mr Lau for a Streats article last year has been one of the rare moments of joy for me in my previous job. Yes, this is Mr Lau the intrepid globe-trekker who loves travelling to the most exotic places on earth. I decided to visit him this time (only my second visit since over a year back when I interviewed him) because he mailed me a little book he compiled of speeches he has made, and articles he has written.

It was such a pleasant surprise to receive the book. It is a compilation of speeches he has made at weddings and alumni dinners, as well as private writings with titles such as "The Role of Grandparents" and "Lessons Drawn from Different Cultures". How cool is that? He writes really well by the way. Don't know if I ever mentioned he had contributed travel articles to Her World magazine in the 1980s. As for this book he gave me, he had asked his son to type them out properly, and then he sent the writings to a printer to print and bind.

It was R, a former classmate, who introduced Mr Lau to me when I was looking for an interesting personality to interview for a travel supplement. R had been in the same tour group as Mr Lau during a rare trip to North Korea. And since then, they have kept in touch, much like a grandpa enjoying a nice chat with his grandson. So today, R visited Mr Lau together with me.

Mr Lau still drives by the way. A battered old car - 25 years old this year - that crawls at a snail's pace on the road. As he drove us to the mrt station today, I kept wondering what would happen if one day he, well, died at the wheel! Once again, talking to old people like him really make me so amazed at how they have come to terms with the end of life. R was saying that he would be posted to Shanghai in June. For four years.

And Mr Lau, said, as he drove: "Four years is a long time. I don't know if I can make it till then. But when you come back, and I'm still around, do remember to call me up."

And perhaps that was why I wanted to visit him today, as soon as possible. Because I didn't know when he would go.

Thank you for making my life that little bit more meaningful, Mr Lau. God bless you.

Deny Deny Deny

Show: Grey's Anatomy
Episode: "Deny Deny Deny"

As I watched Cristina cry sudden explosive buckets today, while her fellow interns watched in horror, I couldn't stop laughing even as I teared - for her. Her usual steely demeanor gave way, and she finally cried - for the first time - for her lost baby and her lost fallopian tube. As her colleagues panicked because they didn't know what to do to stop her crying, and commanded Meredith not to touch her because "she becomes worse", I was chuckling aloud at this seemingly comedic moment.

And finally, Cristina shouts: "Someone, stop this crying! Sedate me!"

And I think, how many times have I felt that way. I wish I could end the crying in a fixed number of hours, or days, even. Be okay, let it all out and never cry anymore. But that would not be human. And perhaps, I am beginning to realise that it's ok to cry, that it's ok to let it all out for a long time. And not be sedated. Ever.

the habit kicks in - again

After a six-month hiatus, the newspapers are finally delivered to my doorstep once again. And I heave a sigh of pure happiness. No longer do I have to climb the overhead bridge and trudge to that minimart to buy my copy of ST, making sure I don't go any time after 2pm. If not, I'll have to return empty-handed.

From today onwards, I will become a creature of habit once more. Mornings will mean a glass of milk and some news of the day in front of me. This means I will be reading the papers everyday, and somehow it's real comforting to know that.

I don't know how much news I have missed ever since I had to go downstairs to buy the papers. Afternoons and nights just ain't the right time to read them, so I simply scan the headlines of Page 1, skim through Life!, and then I'm done. From today onwards, I'm a little bit more knowledgeable again.