a death ballet

met up with tasso and prabs tdy. supposed to help me relieve stress, and have fun.. but in the end, spend most of my time comforting and persuading tasso to be happy. he ar, make me a bit worried. eat so much, den buy clothes siao siao wan. abit freaky. hais.. he happy can le. watched stuck on you together with them. than, i received a pretty intresting, but weird at the same time, sms from mark. hmmmmm. like whad tasso said, you dun really have to tell me everything. =
reach home le... i seriously wanna do some retail theraphy. just wanna shop till i drop. hahas.

you change my life completely. i'm tounched by your love. even if i never see you again.

she just called me an idiot. well, just for your info, if i am, it's inherited. =)

just talked on the phone with tasso.... again. hahahha.

hm.... things getting abit too emotional lately between me and him. hmms.... feel abit weird. have no idea how to describe that feeling. it feels weird just talking to him.. feel like it's kinda of an obligations. =|

watched abit of the soccer match after school tdy... whitley versus bartley. i realised one thing. most supporters dun watch the match to support. they go their to scream and flirt. hmmm. just a general remark i guess. =|

tho, did something abt the matter ytd, i guess it's of not much improvement. guess the best part abt tdy, ish being with my classmates, 3e3 2004. guess they really brighten up my day, and seeing tasso in school.
let's just say, you guys think you noe me, but you really have no idea whad's going thru my mind.. AT ALL. not even my closest friends, have the slightest idea abt whad i'm going thru. let's just end here.

I don't wanna die
But I ain't keen on living either

tdy maybe a sad day for me again. but at least i did something about ytd problems, instead of just sitting around and sulking. hmm.. felt much better, altho tears were dropped again. sian. yea.
tdy, prefect's investiture. lurve it. prefects damn neat sia! like army sehz. PAP. hhaha all wear white. sho farnie. but, really.. two thumbs up to the prefects for their neatness, spontaneous, and hardwork in school.. tho i gotta admit, at time i cannot stand them. but realy, dey ARE good tdy. but at times during the investure, quite scarey.. suddenly stand up... hahha
after school.. HAD a good time with the pals manz!!!i LURVE them LOADDDDDSSSSSS... took neos... met praba , derek and AK!! hahah. sue horny sial. jkjk...

=))

dennn!!!! met tasso mark.. etc.. wah kaos. I LURVE my FRIENDS LOADS!!!!

sling's crazee...

cui min, me and you go buy golden microphone for her okae?? haha

droped the saddest tears ever tdy.
i never felt so hurt before.. my friends.. like that. the thought of C.S even came in to my mind. to think that we were once friends. and now, it's like we are enemies, ready to go on a war. i've decided to learn not to dislike. so, therefore, tmr, i will make the first move, altho he made me cry several times.

second heartbreaker. came all of a sudden. same time as the previous one too. 'you can't take back whad you just let go'

tdy, netball tournament first match against beatty sec. we won. 45 to 3 or 2.. cannot rmb lars.
spoil my whole damn bloody mood tdy. just see his face, i feel like killing myself.

tdy in class, damn fun.. we all were like joking, and fooling around. i lurve my class le!!!!

confused relationship just TOTALLY suck mans..dunnoe whether i shuld just go on or S.A.T.. the feelings still exist.. but like whad shelly say.. it's just isn't that kinda feelings. i dunnoe. my mind is in a total mess now. need to do some sorting out. sianz. i'm a total mess.

tdy go watch the last samurai with mark.. nth mush to say.. just can't wait for tml!!! we going visiting!!! yay!!!

$_$

wah kaos. sho idiot.. somebody prank calling me.. heng i'm damn happy go lucky.. haha... shoo fun!! llols..

wah lau eh!!! just now, my brother and i went to mac and ordered two mcspicy double meal.. den in the end.. wah kaos... his friend gave us five large fries two apple pies.. wah kaos.. nearly cry. hahaah. eat until damn full le..monday i confirm look like mo wan wan le.. hahaha

spend chinese new year's night at adeline's house. together with joyce praba nicole and khadijah.. hahaha fun fun and more fun mans!!!
tasso and khad kept on playing stupid games.. damn gao xiao....

mistake
altho no one said anything.. i knew i said somethin wrong at ade's house ytd... kinda touchy subject. damn obvious.. but heng. joyce dey all din noe or say anthing.. =|

HAPPY NEW YEAR ONCE AGAIN!!!!

kept on faling asleep tdy. damn tired can.. and there was the liquor to add on to my drowsyness.. =|
pop-ed a few of the stupid cracker thingy.. damn noisy cannn!!!! den summore.. my mama and papa bought a electronic fire cracker.. kaos... damn noisy... made me wake up.. got that stupid irritating chinese voice...

chinese new year celebration

kaos... subra on cny's eve spoil my day le. irritating. just sit with my friends in the other classes also my kao bei kao bu.. com'n lor.. CNY LORS!!! and only catch me and zakia.. de rest lehs?.. go eat shit lars.. other teachers also neber say anything.. bloody bias piece of shit..
tdy.. yi an steady.. said the mrt 'careful warning' int he four languages to the whole school during the performance. whoo hoo!! den sho farnie.. got one part i think badri said... what's that big head.. silly sue go and shout shoooo loud 'JINLING' wah... laugh until peng...hahaha.. for more... look at sue's blog..
ciaos!!

hahahah... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
just drank a tiny weeny cup of wine.. going bonkers le!!! myahahahahh...

bloddy hell pissed off.. can't get my new year's clothes... dammit

had the best lunch ever tdy mans.... went to sakae with ong charles chang xuan kahjoo shelly and luthfi. hahah... ate like there's no tml. eat eat and eat. about 40 over plates... the waitress was damn impressed and too shocked for words. had a great time. i miss those guys mans!!!!! hhaha.. we were all talking about the times we used to have fun. hahah. me and shelly were like freezing cos we walked in the rain. friggin cold. den went home.. luthfi went back to school to take his bag. i wanted to go home.. but the bloody rain.. kaos.. so i got stranded in big mac... and here's the anoying part :

i sat at the table near the back entrance i use to take to go home. den.. this two guys and two gurls. sat like about one table away from me. den the guys in long sleeve shirt.. say.." eh, we sit further lars.. later she pai sehs." then he said sorry to me. i just like nod and turned ta continue my work.
den.. the same guy, said hi to me from where he sat. i started freaking out.. so i immediately sms-ed luthfi to ask him ta come and find me when he's going back.. cos i scared. than the guy's friend said that the guy in long sleeve wanted to know me.. and asked for my number.. wah..kept disturbing. den make a hell load of noise. i abit hum liao.. so kept sms-ing luthfi to come quickly.
then the stylo part. luthfi fardhan and badri walked in. cos they damn tall and all malays and look quite intimidating, de ppl beside me stared at them.. and whad's best was that luthfi and gang sat with me.. so they were like... blur diao. kept hearing the guys asking their gal pals to ask for my number.. wah laos... i really first time.. sooooooo afraid.. and guess whad.. those guys are the usual ah bengs hanging out at the shop near mac.. i always see them around wan.. stupid bloody buggers...... even badri could sense that they were staring at us....

and all thanks to my luthfi ah bung [spell check] and friends... wah. i damn heng. den.. the four of us were talking about our school ppl.. about who badri like. fardhan lurve life.. luthfi's and mine.. damn farnie. laugh like farq
dey all damn farnie.. esp that badri... hahah. make me laugh until stomach pain.. kaos.. talk here talk there.. de rain still haben stop.. but whad the heck. i dun want to stay there alone.. so when they headed for home... i zhao too.. haha

haha.. tdy in de morning had carnival again.. shooo early lors.

met up with mark and luthfi to stdy. did my a and e maths work. kaos. can cry. damn tedious. haha. but improved my brain stamina.. hhaha.

bought mandarin oranges from arjun and kweong weng tdy. hahaa. sho farnie!!!.. got one super duper big cockoach on the table lors.. freaked me out.. bleeding cockroach!!

haha... had training in the morn. fun fun fun fun!!!!

tired.. again.. hahah.. dunnoe why..

lurvvvvee my friends... esp when we hang out.. tdy, lunch in the canteen was fun..but.. some were just putting on an act.. acting as if we were really friends.. dunnoe whether she treat me as one tho.... but really enjoyed the lunch.. hahah...
RA RA RASPUTIN!!! THE LOVER OF THE RUSSIA QUEeN!! haha

so kwel!!!! all of us are in the lab now.... all having sooo much fun!!! got the whole e4 gang here..... i lehs.. extra... cos i purposely dun wan go ytd wan.. wanna follow my friends.. hahaha...

aiyo!!! we all having fun.. and disturbing.... so lame... hahah... tdy damnnn fun... wanli keeps singing the rasputin song.. we alll made a hella load of noise!!!! lurvee my friends!!!!

yo.. tdy ar..one happy dae too. EXCEPT for one stupid silly person.. i shall not add on. dun wanna screw up that person's life on my blogg.
wah lau.. my stting place hor, is good, and at the same time, a killer. =| infront of me, guoen, behind me, kah kiat, next to me at my left, aizudin, on my right, timothy, at my left hand corner, minglong. like kanna confined by guys like that. but on the whole, we are one bunch of monkeys manz. disturb here disturb there. and that stupid kah kiat, always hit my head. bird. timo, keep irritating us... guo en, aizudin and minglong, all birds. haha.

yea.. you stupid fool. always misunderstand whad i'm trying to sae. blur like fark. SUPER GONG. SUPER DUPER GONG!!! cannot take it le. when i'm ready, you blur. too bad.. cannot take it..

oh yas, tml moses coming back to whitley le.. sian..

the feelings i have for him just can't be explained.
a confused lurvee. complicated situation. contradicted relationship.
what must i do to let him know.

muahaha.. talked on the phone with shelly for over an hour. feels good to finally chit cat with that darling again. cleared up a couple of stuff with her. talked about tht silly 'friendship damn difficult to turn into relationship' thingy. hahah... she got her LDF to settle, i got my TFP to deal with. sians. =|
talked about sweet stuff. about certain SHOCKING with a capital S, stuff. about some stuff we like about guys, about studies, gossiped, about everybody lars!!!! hahha.. lurve talking ta that lass. lurve her mans. muahaha.

damn shagg. i'm really exhausted. not because of studies.. ish tired. how can i complain when e1 students are takingmore sub den me?!! kuku bird lars.. haha.
training attendance suck. big time.
dislike that idiot short ass. if it wasn't for my fellow netball senior, i wuld have long gone up to him and give him one good tight slap, and a kick in the arse. creep. you're like a mosquito who wun stop bugging ppl. you're like a silly little boy who always thinks he is right. screw you.
tasso back le. dat bird talking to me now on msn. as crappy as ever.
tdy, walk to ntcu with my mum. met loads of ppl. first, i saw watt kiang. kaoz. he's getting cuter and cuter each day. lols. second, susu. damn farnie, she tot she can follw me, den she saw my mum, so she u-turn and head back home. haha. and lastly, i saw arjun working at ntuc. haha. kuku sehz. he help me choose apples. sho farnie.. wah sehs.. de apple frigging sweet. two thumbs up for ar jun... hha.

these are the little things in life that are going to make you stronger.

my com is fixed!!! yay.

tdy audi. i totally screwed it man. din make it to the third round. it's okae. i'm happy and glad i din get in actually. at first i was afraid. den, when get results le, i totally cool it. speacial thanks to mark and mr ong!!! hahaha. me and sue wuld really like to thank you guys for being there with us at the audi. haha.

mark :
please take care... dunnoe whad you trying to say by the 'act tough' thingy... haha.. oh yea i found your EXPENSIVE guitar pick le..

i strongly believe in this phrase : " you dunnoe what you are missing until it is gone."

i miss them. hiaz. swyls swyls. you guys rocking the hell outta e4. me here slogging away. wtf. lately, i feel like i dun have to blog. nothing interesting is happening. nothing at all. my class is rather boring, in sense of exitement and friends. all we do is just make noise. i got no one to talk to in class about my problems. sians. screw whitley secondary.

mark's a real stress relief friend mans. hahas.send me home. had a good time lately with him. feel much better.

why must 'it' come all of a sudden. i'm not ready for this kinda thing. i just wanna concerntrate. sorry.

i hate sec three life mans. i hate the things ppl sae. i hate assumptions. i hate ppl who quit. i hate it when ppl think they are always right. i'm sick. i need help. i need to see a shrink.

netball
today training. the usuals. but something was definately wrong. mabbie it's just me. i dunnoe. i felt like screaming. screw it. i dunnoe. ades, i'm beginning to face whad you did when you were in sec two. screw those ppl BIG TIME. ignorant arrogant brats. while i'm talking, can read the papers, look away. yea.. i'm their friend. but whad must i do to get the respect i deserve as a captain?. fark it. big time. i agree with shiaw ting. i can't wait for the time to come and just step down, and finally concerntrate on my studies. nicole, ade, bei... they put soooo much effort in nb, and whad we get is just a pile of sickening, fucked up, brainless irritating childish screwed up attitude.

loser
screw that loser guy who said i have no friends. brainless geek. i DO have friends. unlike you. you insensitive brat. i'm in a brand new class. with none of my good pals there... wells mabbie i have meiding. unlike you. you rattle off without even thinking. brainless toot. sae you have friends.. ya you do.. but do you have REAL FRIENDS. toot.
wtf sling. shut up. just forget it.

i give up. if you give me a gun, i wuld probably jsut use it and shoot myself dead. some ppl may feel farking happy, right? ya.. i will be thinking you guys a hell load in hell. see you there.

cut my hair reeeaallll short le. cannot tie. hahas.

tdy, school reopen. sian. my class is like the boredest class ever. mabbie cos i have none of my good pals there. damn sian.

whew.. a brand new year. ytd nite (new year's eve) was a hella good time and the most mind boggling time i've had. i met up with ade, and then we headed down to a pool place at somerset to meet the rest, (joyce etc) charlton, chalven, han wei, jonathan, Jia Jie (tell you more mp. =p) kweond weng, graham, michelle, fiona, nicole soo, arjun(spell check) etc etc. played pool after so long. my hands just can't work well together, and to think that i plae netball. haha.
than the whole bunch of us headed down to cine for the countdown. ppl were dancing their heads of. gurls were wearing barely nothing. and guys were being a bunch of idiots. haha. jonathan and gang were taking cans of coke and spraying them all over me and ade. can you believe it?!! we were soaked with coke!! sticky icky pooky. can cry. lols.
ade den met a few of her primary school friends. bloody despos. "you can remember me or not?" whad a bunch of bloody, rugby players, with a brain the size of a pea. stupid kuku birds.
headed back to bishan. den went to school doiwn there. me and ade wanted to peng le. too tired lars. must understand. i primary one nia lehz. haha. den we waited for michelle fiona and nicole at the bus stop. saw chaun heng, buay eng rayson. etc. den walked to jonathan's house to slack. played truth or dare. speed. dai dee. all the typical games. haha. truth or dare was the best mans. haha den went mac for breakfast. talk talk with ades. and now. at home typing.

sians.. tml got school. can cry.