char days.

Friday, October 1, 2010

A Lie

I realised something about myself yday. I dont feel loved/accepted/valued unless i'm being listened.

Growing up in a family where we dont share about our individual lives probably contributed to this lie that i believe in. There is no one in the family that i can confide in, no one to listen to me. Hence, i yearned to be listened to. Sadly, today's society have more speakers than listeners. As a result, more and more of my life experience affirmed the lie that i believed in. =(

Because of this lie, i've also been ultra careful with my speech. I'll be stressed at making public announcement, speeches, teaching coz i want to make sure that i dont say anything silly so that others will listen to me. It's pretty sad huh? Having said that, i'm not so stressed out now but still i'm very concerned. I will also try my very best to be a good listener to people around me, for to me, that is an expression of love. I've also always prayed for wisdom so that my words would not hurt people.

Now that i recognised this big fat lie in my life, I need to replace it with God's truth! I am loved, valued and accepted by my heavenly Father even if no one is listening to me. God's love for me is constant, He is always loving me. Surely what Satan intended bad can be made good by God, this expression of love by listening to others, this desire to constantly pray for wisdom so that i will not hurt others are precious gifts from God.

Lord i pray that indeed i'll use my heart to listen to others and that your wisdom has to be the foundation of my life.

char pondered@4:43 PM

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Mind lagging behind my body

Back from DTS. Hopefully i'll have more time to blog again.

This is my 3rd week back in the office. There are so much changes, so many things to plan and do.

I felt like my mind has not caught up with the body.

There's still so many things floating in my mind. I feel really unsettled. =(

Lord, pls give me some space to sort out my thoughts.

char pondered@3:09 PM

Monday, March 22, 2010

looking forward to something new

Now that i'm going to DTS, my work load is decreasing. Good in the sense that i can wind down and get ready for school. But i'm not quite used to it. the feeling is kinda strange that i cant participate in church stuff for half a year...and i'm gonna miss church camp!!! arrrghhh!! cant believe it! Lord, am i really going to miss church camp?

Having said that, i am looking forward to DTS, looking forward to this new thing that the Lord has placed before me.

started jogging recently. tho i'm not exactly regular, i'm trying to run at least once a week. i see some improvement in my fitness! haha..on my first run, i took 30mins to run 2.8km and i felt like i'm dying, my head was spinning when i stopped. i could hardly breath!! 2nd run, i took 30mins to run 3km and i felt ok! no more head spinning and even my upper tighs were not aching!! heh... so today was my 3rd run, i ran 3km in 26mins and yes! no spinning and no aching! on my 2nd run, i had the urge to run on alternate mornings, but heh...i cant quite convince myself to wake up early. Now that i'm going to geylang, hmmm....will there be oppty to run in the morning??

char pondered@11:52 PM

Monday, March 15, 2010

YWAM DTS

YWAM = Youth With A Mission
DTS = Discipleship training course

Some of you have been asking me what is the course about..heh...check out the link to find out more!

http://ywam.org.sg/dts.htm

I'll start school on 4 Apr. Needa stay-in from mon-fri. Can book out over the weekends. Weekdays also can go out lahz, but need to be back by 11pm. haha

Go for a mission trip on 3 Jul. Where? I dont know, but it will be somewhere in Asia.

Since i'm going to stay in geylang for 3months, i think...i'm going to complie a geylang food guide! hahahaa

char pondered@10:57 PM

Eventful and Fruitful

Pastor told me this week that it's confirm, i'll be going for DTS. And so! it means that i've to tell my parents about it! The ECC is also in the midst of deciding on my salary package.

Sat evening, i told my parents that i'm going away for a 6 months stay-in course. I'm dumbfounded by their mild reaction. They asked about my salary and CPF arrangement ( that's their biggest concernt!) Then suddenly my mum talked about how Sun Ho and Kong Hee are able to buy 80% of suntec's share and that they must have received money from their church. I explained to her that they have their own businesses and it's not surprising that they are earning so much. So i told my mum, Christian need not be poor. And why izit that she is so upset with me being poor and yet upset with another pastor who is rich? She cant answer me. Then my parents said that they will think about it. Thank God for preparing their hearts!! It was such a drastic change in attitude!

Sun evening ( xw's wedding), needa be at the same table as Chris. Havent spoke to him for 10 years? Was very apprehensive about seeing him, after all, we didnt end off well and we didnt quite make it as friends after tt. even before i spoke to Chris i was alrd thanking God that i could face him and know that it's all over in the past.

What i feel like now? It's going to be an exciting new beginning! All that i've worried, the Lord has shown that He is in control. Truely, all we need to do is pray for who of we by worring can add a single hour to our life.

Lord, thank you that you are a God that is in control of everything. I'm so secure in you!

char pondered@12:19 AM

Monday, March 8, 2010

上帝早已預備

上帝早已預備

主唱：鄭秀文
作曲：陸偉峰．PHAT@24 Herbs
填詞：陸偉峰
編曲：Johnny Yim
監製：

歌詞

就算我可得到　世間的財寶

但你卻說要我知道　是永生的道路

是莫再指引線你賜我忠寶

＊就算我可得到　今生的自豪

但你卻說要我知道

別為因此而煩惱

在絕望裡投訴

只要仰望主　那怕會迷路

＊上帝早已預備

我不相信運氣

即使風光明媚

但卻不似祢預期

上帝早已預備

至少我不被遺棄

難得祢　為我死
(難得祢　為我死)

REPEAT＊

感謝祢

祢會為我打氣

感謝袮

從谷底將我救起

感謝祢

縱使　失去我的真理

但我沒有忘記

char pondered@12:06 PM

Saturday, March 6, 2010

My 27th Birthday!

Had a very good birthday this year. Had lots of friends to celebrate with me. Friends!! thanks for remembering and taking the time to celebrate with me!

Some of the things I did over my bday period!

19 Feb: Cake cutting with other Feb babies during cell!

22 Feb: Met up with Jac and Kit for dinner@Lot 1 Sakae Sushi! Hee..Kit gave us a treat coz she won money during CNY!

23 Feb: Went KTV with Ex Fairprice colleagues. They so funny lor, wanna buy cake for me but bum into me! haha

24 Feb: Office Lunch cum bday celebration! They bought coco exotic! hee...i love it! Then went to see Lissy and had dinner at SAF Yatch Club.

27 Feb: Scrapbooking Class! It was awesome! Had a very meaningful gathering with the girls! We spent time learning something together! Its was really good lahz!! Too bad dor and shi couldn't make it!

1 Mar: Dor was been called for a flight last min, hence she make it up to me by buying me dinner. The initial plan was to have korean food at Kilat, guess what? When we are there! It wasnt open! So we had spanish food next door. it was not bad too! The squid ink paella was shiok! the other dishes we ordered were so-so

3 Mar: Birthday treat from Mel and Daniel! Went for dinner at il lido! Very scenice...very quiet...nice place! Food was great except the dessert..ahaha..

Heh...pressies!

From cell group: Grip Purple Heels + M'phosis Black Working Bag
From Jac and Kit: Made with Love vouchers
From the girls: To go for scrapbooking class with me!
From office: Coco Exotic! (think only shifu and ps wong paid tho...heh)
From Chelsea and Pansy: Cake and KTV Treat
From Lissy: 3 stalks of flower! Awww....
From Joshua: TWG tea! Love it!
From Junhao: Book " The case for Faith"
From Mel and Daniel: Dinner treat
From Dor: Dinner treat + Juicy iphone cover!
From sister: $100 cash..so i use it to pay for an adida watch
From parents: $100 cash... i used it as extra spending money =)of which i bought more scrapbooking material...another working bag! ( it was on 50% sale lehz!)

I have really been much loved!

char pondered@10:03 PM