Moving house.

I think I've outgrown this online space.

I've been at one of life's crossroads for a while, and I haven't really moved. In recent months I've allowed myself to become self-indulgent. I haven't really thought things through, and go through life reacting to other people. In that, I haven't been the best.

Looking at this space, I write for me. Yet I'm naive enough to assume that other people would read this space. That people would comment on what I say. That people would meet me here on my terms. That's unrealistic. It's self-absorbed.

This blog doesn't feel right for me anymore. It's too cluttered. Too all over the place. Like my mind has been for the past couple months.

I'll be keeping this blog active, but I'm moving my blogging here. A sort of fresh start, if you will.

Thanks for reading and caring. See you on the other side!

Loneliness?

I tend to have very few real friends. I am aware that I am introverted and that I am difficult to get to know. I tend to keep to myself more. I suppose the pitfall of being a bit of a geek is that it’s harder to relate to people who are either ‘normal’, or full-blown geeks.

‘Geek-dom’ aside, it is difficult for me to mix well with white Australians. I make friends easily, but not enduring friendships. Perhaps it’s because I take things too seriously. Or that we just don’t click well due to cultural or conceptual differences.

No matter how I twist it around, I am Singaporean, and I still think like one (well, when compared to an Australian). Even so, I guess I am a slightly odd Singaporean who doesn’t quite fit in back in Singapore either.

On one hand, I have always found it difficult to mix with people. So it’s not just the fault of my circumstances, but also a personal problem. It’s easy to say ‘get out, meet people and make friends’, but its hard to pull off.

I really should try and get out there. It’s great that I do play Magic with other Aussie fellows now and again. There’s still a divide though. I do get dissed sometimes on account of my race. It’s the Aussie way to take the piss out of people, but it gets grating after the twelfth repetition.

Check and balance.

Char said something yesterday that I thought was a very good point. She said that Protestantism is a means of keeping Catholicism in check, and vice versa.

If Martin Luther didn’t kick-start the Protestant Reformation, then the Counter-reformation would never have happened, and the upper echelons of the Church would probably be just as messed up today. We have Protestantism to thank for the way the Church is today.

Both institutions do regulate each other, in a sense. And I think that that's good for both the Protestant and Catholic churches. I don't really have an opinion on the little break-away churches though.

It's all about the money.

I read an article about how the middle-class in Europe is slowly being financially straight-jacketed by increasing inflation. In my somewhat untrained mind, it seems that similar things are happening here in Australia, and even back home in Singapore. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer, and the middle class gets squeezed.

Looking around at other jobs, I’ve realised that many jobs within the media and business sectors here offer around A$35-40k per annum salaries to fresh graduates, compared to Singapore’s S$25k per annum average.

In comparison, a job within the helping professions (ie: my area at the moment) pays around A$30-35k per annum, and requires you to have both a degree, and experience. I’m a bit miffed.

Thankfully the psychologist jobs I see (albeit few) pay around A$60-80k per annum, dependent on experience. That’s a comfort. At least when I do graduate, I’ll be earning a bit more than the next guy (after two years of school and another two of work experience).

Ill.

I’m at work. Dizzy. Got a headache. And having diarrhoea.

Threw up last night as well. Must have been something I’ve eaten, and considering that all I have eaten/drunk all of yesterday is tea, a peanut butter sandwich, some leftover pork stew, and a double whopper. Considering that the trouble started after dinner (ie: the whopper), I’m guessing that’s the cause.

What irritates me right now is that I’m expected to be nice when I’m not in the mood to be nice. I’d take the day off, but I need the cash. Thankfully, the boss hasn’t taken issue to my hourly toilet dash.

Kirsten Bell wasn't naked. Boo!

Had a pretty busy day yesterday. Woke up and did some constructive job-hunting, read a bit, then went down to the city with Joe and Daryl to pick up something for Shawn’s birthday. We ended up going to the Hungry Jack’s (I still don’t understand, Burger King is such a good name!) along Stirling Highway to grab a bite, wile away time, and play a round or three of Magic.

Got home, had a brief dinner, then went to watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall with Char. Yeah, it doesn’t sound like much of a date movie, but (1) it has Kirsten Bell, who I’ve always enjoyed watching since her Veronica Mars days, (2) it has gratuitous (and very funny) sexual connotations, and (3) nudity in the first five minutes. What’s not to like?

Okay, so it’s still not a date movie, and I digress, but it’s still better than the shithouse flick that is Date Movie!

Went for dinner in Northbridge after, resuming the great Perth-wide wonton noodle hunt. Note to self: DO NOT eat wonton noodle at Uncle Billy’s again. The pork trotters were okay, but got a little too much after a while. I miss the herbal pork trotters from back home.

Went over to Shawn’s place bearing gifts (ie: bubble tea), and got treated to about 10 minutes of awkwardness between Char and Shawn, before executing my perfectly pre-planned escape plan… of passing the extra cup of bubble tea to Mingyang.

(I’m sorry bro, but as much as I DO do nice things for you now and again, there was an ulterior motive)

Got home at about 1 in the morning. All in all a pretty pleasant day, I must say. I need to do stuff like that more often. And I got to spend the better part of an evening with Char too! :p

By the fucking way.

You know what's truly amazing? I have this space, I put what I think here, and no one even bothers to ask me how I'm feeling. No one asks 'are you okay?', even after reading stuff where I'm obviously NOT OKAY.

Thanks for caring so very much by the way. I won't be expecting any response to this either.