秋天的成熟

今天，才真的是开工了~
是赶工的时候了，
谁叫我，睡了几天，玩了几天，
该做的，该读的，
都没完成~
哈哈~
越来越放肆了噢~
现在，要加油哦！！
Aza aza fighting!!!

1 week holiday.....
and i spent it very nicely..
since last weekend...
hehe....
last saturday, i went bangi for PTUKM-32...
Sunday, pharmacy christmas party...
tuesday, jusco member day and shopped wholeday..
wednesday, went back segamat, had pizza with seg hwa~ians and went the newly built cinema have a look, just 1 look, haha...
friday, came back kl with suling, peishan and weicheng as well.. had the nice dessert with suling...
saturday, the craziest day.... we went sing k at low yat redbox, b4 that we had the nice egg tarts and fish balls.. then sing till 3pm and depart to fetch boonkin at tasik selatan... then go jojo little kitchen had pan mee... then we departing toward stadium putra, bukit jalil to enjoy the starlive concert!! the nicest part of the week....
haha... really enjoyed the concert although is a bit tiring... coming back we have supper at jombali near overtime here... then come back my house and chit chatted till 5.30am in the morning.. oh gosh!! i'm lovin it... although is really tired also la...
this week i really played a lot.. i played more than i studied...
its time for me to continue study ady..
tomorrow gt presentation and then gt quizzes...
wish me luck ya..
and good luck to everybody having the same fate as me...
the pity malaysian students.. =(

I'm wondering how will my life looks like after 1 month...
when everybody is busying with celebrations here and there for christmas and new year....
and we are all struggling here with the exams....
the killer papers....
how am i going to survive??
dats why wondering..
haha... but anyway, life still goes on!!
lets enjoy life!!

Artist: Jewel
Song: What You Are 
Album: Sweet and Wild

I’m driving around town
Kinda bored with the windows rolled down
See a girl on the bus stop bench
Dressed to draw attention

Hoping everyone will stare
If she don’t stand out she thinks she’ll disappear
Wish I could hold her, tell her, show her
What she wants is already there

A star is a star
It doesn’t have to try to shine
Water will fall
A bird just knows how to fly

You don’t have to tell a flower how to bloom
Or light how to fill up a room
You already are what you are
And what you are is beautiful

Heard a story the other day
Took place at the local VA
A father talking to his dying son
This was his conversation

“It’s not supposed to be like this
You can’t go first I can’t handle it”
The boy said “Dad now don’t you cry,
Remember when I was a child what you used to tell me when I’d ask why?”

(You’d say) Gravity is gravity
It doesn’t try to pull you down
Stone is stone
It can’t help but hold its ground

The wind just blows, though you can’t see
It’s everywhere like I’ll always be
You already are what you are
And what you are is strong enough

Look in the mirror
Now that’s another story to tell
I give love to others
But I give myself hell

I’d have to tell myself
“In every scene there’s a perfect plan”
Everything I hoped to be
I already am

A flower is a flower
It doesn’t have to try to bloom
And light is light
Just knows how to fill a room


And dark is dark
So the stars have a place to shine
The tide goes out
So it can come back another time

Goodbye makes a love so sweet
And love is love so it can teach us
We already are what we are
And what we are is beautiful

And strong enough
And good enough
And bright enough

Finally forensic hero III finishes....
It is just like completing something that i should complete....
Coz i ady begin it....
is a bit weird if din complete it....
the ending is more or less similar to the previous series...
is really quite ganjiong by the final episode...
However, the scenario is very artificial...
after watching CSI, i dun really think forensic hero is nice...
It is just like i gt the mission to complete it, dats all...
coz the previous 2 series are very nice, it accompanied me for quite some time....
finishes it and i can begin on a new life without it again...

Next, my recent life,
1 word, busy.
but actually, is it really i'm so so so busy??
i wonders....
it is true that i gt a lot of things to stay on my to-do list,
it is me, who refuses to touch it, to begin it...
everything is not dat hard actually, is the attitude...
attitude determines everything....
i hope i could change, although is hard..

exam coming soon...
1 month ++, some might think still gt long time...
but i know, with my slow progress, it is short....
there are some rumours that the mid-sem result gonna out by tomorrow...
ganjiong le....
this time, i din really perform well...
yes, i'm scare for the result, but i noe i can do nth for it..
i can only accept it, put it down and begin on the new journey toward the coming final...
it gonna commences by january next year...

Browsing through the schedule, i found not much free time,
i wanted to have some time to go back segamat, as i planned..
how i wish i wun spoil it...
i noe i can do nth at home, wun interact much with them,
i just wanna be there,
there, is my escape area.....
my lovely nice place....
"sometimes u think u have nth, but actually u might ady have everything that u need in ur life"
i believe this is what applies to me especially in my hometown,
i has nth, mom wun cook special for me, i wun demand it, it is just normal,
i dun want to disturb her with all kinds of demand...
i noe i'm not a good gal, i din help out much at home,
i will try to change, to a better daughter...

Recently, always wanted to change myself, especially mentally,
wanna be more positive, think lesser,
simply enjoy simple life..

for a relationship,
just now talked to a friend by which we are closed since NS,
he asked me get 1 faster, i has been single for too long ady...
i said, i never leave the single status,
he told me, dun set high requirement for the guys,
am i?? maybe...
is true i ever rejected a nice guy,
cant said i regret, coz i have no right to regret,
what i knew is he is still single now,
we are still friends, still talking to each other but the frequency very low, just no longer be as close as before...
I met a nice guy in June, there is sth and yet nth..
biggest prob, religion, probably (and i might ady find out the reason behind the religion)... haha...
i can say nth for this, is the right for everybody to stick to their own religion...
And i have another problem with somebody...
somebody hurted somebody closed to me before this, not long ago...
and this somebody has some intention on me, i think..
and causes problem for me during the mid-sem...
i hope, this could be settled asap...
coz i still have something left behind by the somebody with me, the result of a wrong decision during a wrong timing....
What is love? i really duno....
no experience, no theory....
some say is nice to get 1,
i noe my mom is urging me to get 1 also...
i will just let it be....
maybe sometime i have low sensitivity to it, but what to do?
i'm like that...
insensitive all the time...
living in my own little little world...
let the fate decide all these ba...

Watched the movie "you are the apple of my eye"
feel??
complicated...
maybe ady been influenced by some ppl b4 watching it, i feel that movie is still ok...
or maybe i have a higher expectation and thus, i feel a little bit disappointed for it....
anyway, maybe i will go on for 2nd time of the movie, dat time maybe i will have a different thought..

recently fall in love with an author, 张德芬....
her books are always so nice...
her articles inspires, and tells us what actually behind all the happenings surround us...
loves her so much....
i ever regretted for not reading her books properly before i met the nice guy in June,
but, i'm not regretting anymore...
coz i'm putting it down...

life still goes on and on and on and on and on.....
happy and unhappy can be managed actually,
change the perception, move away the hand,
everything is still the same..
the world outside is still wonderful....
it has no point for us to keep looking backward...
ppl says, looking backward only retards ur step forward, it never helps,
it only reveal ur scar and let the bloody fresh face the world...
why not just let the scar heals??

Now, it has been late,
i shall go to my bed ady...
just wanna say one more thing, recently i dun like to update status in fb...
duno reason, just dun want....
and duno what to update...
if possible, i wish to stop myself from fb...
is it possible??? haha... i dun really think so...
but, i will try to reduce the frequency...=D

i think i need to take up some stress management course...

everybody is talking abt 111111....
so i tell myself must have 1 post abt it....
haha...
i'm so bad....
actually i gt 1 purpose...
coz i cant tell u anywhere,
so i tell u here...
happy 111111...
wish u happy always..

1 wrong timing for falling into sick..
1 wrong decision brought me some probs...
how much i wish how shall i solve this...
what i want never happen, what i dun want always happen...
i DUN like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh gosh!!
please, i dun want!!!!!!!

吐了，真吐了~
原因，吃错食物了，
整天肚子胀得无法言语，
该打。
刚刚吐了，感觉良好，读书的力量也回来了，
但还是有感觉，明天考试会很糟~
算了，我会尽力，midsem 而已嘛，没什么大不了的~=P
不敢吃药，因为会drowsy，TT~

Ur unexpected presence made up my day!
Thanks soooooo much~
The coming week gonna be a good good week although is exam week..
Good luck for everyone having exam~
All the best!! =)

詞：Cozy 曲：蕭恆嘉

作了個夢　夢裡沒想過會落空
醒來的時候 隨著疼痛 眼眶泛紅

其實不懂　怎樣才算有始有終
主角離開後　默默的劇終 卻不為所動

想通 起了化學作用
愛情的世界 沒雖敗猶榮
人走了可是心卻仍懸空

我不習慣喊痛 我不是只有無動於衷 　
也曾經告訴他　我傷得有多重
我能給多少包容

我不習慣喊痛 我的心早已千瘡百孔　
只是我習慣忍痛
也曾想過擁著他　卻(已)成空

有太多的激動　也會慢慢的沉痛
最後只能　慢慢想通

我不会害怕受打击，
再多的打击，我也能扛下来，
我知道我的自尊心很高很高，或许有些时候会很难说服自己要接受，
这世上有太多我不想接受却也没办法的事~
我会努力，努力做自己！
不会这么轻易就被打垮的！！
加油加油！！
同时，也是时候把那强烈的自尊心收敛一点了~
人在江湖，身不由己啊~

迷糊走進疑惑的世界里
沒靈魂的軀體早退一起
愛與不愛只是一線之間
用力跨越這界限 卻看不到終點

你始終沒說 下一步該怎麼走

如果有一天我能擁有讀心術
是否就能夠猜透你在想什麼
別在演出結束前中途逃脫
你和我的關係像沒盡頭的路
充滿未知數

你的底牌究竟是哪一張
翻閱了張底卡 始終沒有答案
面對著你還要強顏歡笑
是我瘋的太糊塗 還是早已經認輸

我筋疲力竭 卻不愿輕易放棄

如果有一天我能擁有讀心術
是否就能夠猜透你在想什麼
別在演出結束前中途逃脫
你和我的關係像沒盡頭的路
充滿未知數

如果有一天我能擁有讀心術
是否就能夠看出我的心中有很深的伤口
疲憊的我 拿什麽填補
我一個人的演出 頓時間盲目
眼淚是結束

眼淚是結束
不是未知數

i think i need to explain for my today's abnormality.

All of a sudden, i miss something...

曲∕詞∕編∕監∕唱：林一峰

對的時間 錯的人
對的人 錯的決心
對的決心 錯的名份
對的心情 錯的方向
對的方向 錯的執著
錯的這一切 卻對得起我

常會犯錯 看到更多
就算是對的種種 也曾經考到我
誰人沒有好奇 受各種試鍊
錯了改過怕什麼
我寧願有過錯 也不想錯過

對的情緒 錯的情
對的情 錯的氣氛
對的氣氛 錯的場地
對的功名 錯的方法
對的方法 錯的感受
錯過幾多次 現在我都不錯

仍愛犯錯 每種結果
靜悄地在我心中 種下來只等我
來用每滴汗 甚至幾串淚
灌溉長出了什麼
我寧願有過錯 也不想錯過

仍愛犯錯 每種結果
靜悄地在我心中種下來一直等我
來用每滴汗甚至幾串淚
灌溉長出了未來
即使明日有雨 也有樹蔭可躲
明白這任性態度是你的厚待
讓我可以繼續錯
感激沿路有你
真的很不錯


Right timing, wrong person
Right person, wrong determination
Right determination, wrong status
Right mood, wrong direction
Right direction, wrong persistence
All these wrongs just serve me right

I always make mistakes
So I can see more
After all the right things have failed me before
Who is not curious to take chances
When you're wrong just right it back
I would rather make mistakes than miss a chance

Right emotion, wrong love
Right love, wrong atmosphere
Right atmosphere, wrong place
Right honor, wrong way
Right way, wrong feeling
After been through all kinds of wrongs
I am still alright

Still like making mistakes
Every consequence has been quietly planted in my heart
Let every drop of sweat and tears nourish some kind of future
I would rather make mistakes than miss a chance

Still like making mistakes
Every consequence has been quietly planted in my heart
Let every drop of sweat and tears
Nourish the tree of future
To shelter me from the rain

I understand this willful attitude owes to your courtesy
Of letting me keep making mistakes
I am grateful for having you along the way
It feels so right


It feels so right!!! the lyrics are too meaningful... I love it!! maybe for mine is the right person at the wrong time.. Anyway, most of the lyrics can calm down my feeling!! ♥♥♥

张德芬~遇见未知的自己.
接触这本书是在五月末，未踏入saywhat道路之时~
当时的我，快速scan过整本书的内容~
大约了解了它说的东西，但我从没实践过里边的理论~
很多很多的书评都很不错，在书展期间也介绍了不少人买这本书~
或许我和它有缘吧，书展时排的第一本书就是它，
经我介绍的朋友们大都买下了它，促进了它的销售量，哈哈~~
今早愕然发现这本书再版得超快的，
2008年第一版，2011年我手上这本已经是2011年第29版了~
相信它的魔力不容忽视~

对于这本书，有了些不知名的感触~
有点遗憾在我第一次接触它之后没再看多一次。
就算现在拥有了它，我依然把它撇在一旁，冷落它~
今早认真地带着它浩浩荡荡上学去，却只看了序~
有时我在想，要是我在较早前就已翻阅多一次，
结局会不会还是这样~
或许现在的状况还没到结局，毕竟我内心深处仍存有少少的期望，巴望着~
嘴里说着不敢再订下due date，心里却悄悄摆放了一个日期，一个意义重大的日期，距离现在大概还有两个礼拜左右~

总以为，伤过了会结疤，
这一次，伤过了我却揭开伤疤，让它活生生的展现出来，让细菌吞噬，再次被 infected~
什么时候，我会找回自我？？
答案或许就是我成功读完并实践张德芬教的理论吧~
毕竟我不再希望想这几个月来都在做的事-天天看着他出现，看着他消失在我眼前，而我，无能为力~

也许就像某人说的，我们，都误会了~
就这样，错过了~
傻傻的我，傻傻的以为，还有明天~
曾经以为我不再相信期待了，内心却违道而行~
总有一天，我会潇洒转身，不再回头~

12 天的“旅程”就这样结束了，心中有好多好多的感想。哈哈~~
我把大致上的感想分为几个部分~~


1. 明星

12th May 2011, i began my first working day...
27th May 2011, i leave my job temporarily for Green Lung SayWhat and my Hong Kong trip for 1 month.
27th June 2011, i rejoined this company~~
19th Aug 2011, i ended my 10 week job~~

During these 10 weeks,
i learnt a new software which i needed it for my job..
i learnt a new life~ the fixed working hour (9-6) life..
i learnt a new experience of teaching and guiding ppl.. (which i bet i'm not a good teacher and i wun be teaching anymore coz it made me feel like i'm babysitting rather than teaching)
i learnt a new relationship between colleagues...
i learnt the so-called working stress...(today i experienced what is 得空死不得空病）
i learnt to speak more fluently in cantonese!!!

I think these are all what i learnt during this 10 week....
Although i get a low paid salary for this, however, i get to experience what i wanted to as i wun have any chance to have this "normal working life" after this...
Erm, i appreciated these as i started to learn how to appreciate things around me...
Although i get stressed up during the last few weeks, 3 weeks i bet...
Because of the teaching stuff...
Here, i would like to voice my deep thanks to a couple of ppl who listened to me, calmed me down during those annoying period...
Also, i wanna thanks those who accompanied me, entertained me during these boring working time....
Haha...
Thats all for my conclusion for this Data Migration job~~

Next, my journey will continue on KLCC Bookfest 2011 from 27th Aug 2011 - 4th Sept 2011...
Going to meet my beloved Nicholas Teo for the show of Besta there by 31st Aug 2011...
Haha...

It is such a shock for me to bump into him there....
I never expect to see him there...
And actually i do not mean to have my last lunch there as well...
Everything is just a coincidence....
I wonder, is it him??
Do i recognise the wrong ppl??
I wonder do he notice me too??
I din change a lot except my fringe....
I tot he should be able to recognise me too...
I tot...
Maybe he just din notice me there....

At the end, i still dun think i recognise the wrong ppl....
May god bless me not to recognise wrongly...

And there is 1 more thing that made me wondering too...
Why there will be special incident happen whenever i decided to put it down???
And the result turns out to be, i need somemore time to put it down....

Why???
Is it an indication for me to not to put it down???
Or what else???
I really dun understand....
Everytime it appears like this...
Haiz.....

最近这两天，身边的人都问我一个可爱的问题，
有艳遇吗？？有看上的吗？？男朋友在哪啊？？
刚刚听到的更可爱，
男朋友在家乡是吗？？
不然为什么这么常回家？？
zzz... 请问，回家不能是为了单纯的回家吗？？
拜托~~

大家，有必要这样催我吗？？
我做了该做的，
我已经对我做了的事觉得过不了自己的良心了，
或者更准确的说法是自尊心吧~~
我知道我的自尊心很高，
高到我没有勇气去做我想做的事，
最近的我，很努力了~~

大家，不是我不想，
而是急不来，
况且，一个手掌拍不响，
这道理，大家该明白了吧~~

原谅我今天的emo，我也不想的~~
只是最近的遭遇太炸到了~~

I'm thinking on stopping blogging emotions anymore...
Thinking to blog more on my dream future...
What i wished to accomplish in future..
Or be more accurate, i shall say is whatever i wanted it to appear in my life and what drivens me to that...

Anyway, everything still under consideration..
I'm trying to do great things overall by which i'm not so sure whether i have the ability to do that or not...
But i'm trying to leave my negative emotions away here, fb and everywhere... haha...

Finally, I really do understand my current condition...
understand what should i do and what i shouldn't...
I done what i shall do...
I watched what i wished to...
and now, i have a final decision...
I managed to do it before the due date i set for myself, 19 Aug..
Going to keep myself calm, leave everything to the control by the rest, and move forward to my desired life...
I wish i could do what i wanna do...
Achieve whatever i wanted to see in my future life...
Perseverance is the major lesson i should learn and tries to conquer it...

I'm not going to spend time on thinking what shall i do to get to u,
what shall i wrote for ur attention...
I will be myself from now on....
Stop thinking nonsense as i really realise the reality...
Reality is always cruel and we shall find ways to overcome it and not escape ourselves from it...

Gonna be more and more optimistic from now on....
I wanted my life to be filled with laughter, smiley and whatever good deeds...
I shall learn from them....
They will be my role model...
Keep moving on the right track we wanted to...
Thank god i met and get noe u all...

Aug 19 will be a great day to me...
I have 2 missions which i going to complete it by the big day..
1st, realisation and putting down.. ( DONE)
2nd, finishing my data migration job.... (going to be done)

Promising myself a better life ahead~~ =D

Today is a nice nice day began with 2 nice nice songs....
I can endure her stupid questions...
but the more i endure, the more she asked....
and the questions become more and more stupid...
i noe i'm bad to say all these....
but now my good mood really spoilt....
i taught her for 2 weeks...
is this my failure or hers??
how shall i wake her up??
to be clearer on what she is doing....

Thanks to her, i might become a better pharmacist in future...
She trained my patience, i din shout at her although i ady very angry with her...
I had to remind myself that i only have few days left to be with her...
Be exact, is 5 days from now on...

作曲:伍家輝 作詞:李欣怡


空氣裡飄散的雨滴 冷卻我們的勇氣
僵持的情緒 就算歎息也變得很多餘

好不容易你說一句 否決以後的關係
我們的默契 你不必提我懂痛在哪裡

你能給的不多 你能愛的不多
你的不多 卻把我無止盡淹沒
我需要的不多我渴求的只是愛的經過
怎麼最後 讓我們都沉默


過去也許愛得質疑傷害已是來不及
再怎麼痊癒劃過的心還是留著痕跡
所以你最後那一句
否決過去的記憶我們的默契
我明白自己停在哪裡

你能給的不多你能愛的不多
你的不多 卻把我無止盡淹沒
我需要的不多我渴求的只是愛的經過
怎麼最後 讓我們都沉默

你能給的不多你能愛的不多
你的不多 卻把我無止盡淹沒
我需要的不多
我渴求的只是愛的經過
怎麼最後 讓我們都沉默

在这个寂寞爆满的城市

许多人爱上了许多人
要不就留下深度不同的伤痕
要不就厮守一生


在这个感情脆弱的城市
许多人离开了许多人
有些到头来终于能再次复合
有些成了陌生人


谁是世界上 最爱你的人
我不轻易问 我安静的等
绕了一大圈 也许才更能
看见我坚定不移的眼神


谁是世界上 最爱你的人
时间会选择 上天在看着
如果你不想 那么快就承认
让答案在风中慢慢地飘着

在这个感情脆弱的城市
许多人离开了许多人
有些到头来终于能再次复合
有些成了陌生人

谁是世界上 最爱你的人
我不轻易问 我安静的等
绕了一大圈 也许才更能
看见我坚定不移的眼神

谁是世界上 最爱你的人
时间会选择 上天在看着
如果你不想 那么快就承认
让答案在风中慢慢地飘着

就算不确定不停在发生
我非常确定什么是永恒

谁是世界上 最爱你的人
时间会选择 上天在看着
如果你不想 那么快就承认
让答案在风中慢慢地飘着
飘在你的耳边轻轻暗示着
谁是世界上最爱你的人

if u ask me, which song i loves the most,
i will answer both.
both songs gave me different feel.
when i 1st listen to 不多,
i dun really like it...
but when i repeated it, i begin to love it little bit more than the 2nd song.
不多 tends to be sad song while 世界上最爱你的人 tends to be happier song.
and this proves that i still prefer sad song...

Listened to the song,
i thought of something happened 2 months ago....
some of the lyrics do match with it....
anyway, i promised myself 19 Aug,
everything gonna end by 19 Aug...
I leave it to the fate to decide it...
Am i bad?? Not responsible??
I wonder...
Anyway, i going to change my life to a better life....
Doing some effort from now on...
hopefully i will be able to persevere...
Gambateh~~

I done sth which i duno right or wrong..
Some asked me not to do so..
Some asked me to...
And finally i realised, my heart wishes me to do.
I done it, and i wun regret...
anything i will leave it to the fate...

It has been a great training for me...
Patience training...
Personally, i dun think i'm a bad tempered ppl...
At least i'm not hot tempered...
However, teaching her could enable me to lose all my temper out of a sudden...
Maybe we will encounter patients like her in future...
never understand what i told her...
never apply what i told her...
never look at the note that she should take a look at....
how shall i deal with ppl like this??
somebody pls pls pls come and tell me....
i nearly lose my temper,
seriously require cold water to be poured over me to chase away my temper...

the very 1st time i would feel hatred when my name was called...
speechless..
may god bless me for 2 more weeks...

是我天真还是你无知？？
我知道要你一时间接受这么多是有点困难，
但至少你要有些努力吧。
别让我看见这些无知的东西好吗？？
别告诉我你没有Common Sense 咯。。
我不会接受这解释的。。
我还真不知道遇上你，
是你的幸运还是我的倒霉。
我虽然很担心你做出来的东西，
但我是不可能重新检查的。

认识一个人，一个星期吧，
让我看到很多和我想象中的你不一样的东西，
你未免也太强了。
我不理你有多大的心机，
不要惹到我，
否则我会让你好看。
遇见你，让我也开始有了些改变。
让我看到和以前不一样的东西，
有了不一样的想法，
我是否该感谢你呢？？

是我天真无知，还是你？？

Familiar with this word, "Workplace"??
I met this word during my last semester, 2nd year 2nd sem where we took the course "workplace communication II" by which we "loves" the lecturer so much...
anyway, still have to thank her for giving me a A- for this course..

Today what i gonna talk abt is not the course itself but the real workplace i'm in right now.
After i enter this company and b4 today, i taught this company is not really stressful coz i do not have the chance to see the fruits of stress here...
my area here is rather peaceful,
there are ppl answering questions from customers, but,
no loud scolding sound,
no fast paced working speed,
no visible "mental fighting",
no visible "physical fighting"....
everything seems to be staying in a peaceful state...
a daily routine to be carried out everyday...
it is indeed boring but at least not much variation that could cause u to feel scared of the changes that might happen everyday...

however, things just changed few seconds after i went to another side of this company.
the pace there is at least double of my area,
almost all the ppl there has the word "stress" written on their face..
and they seems to be fighting over each other mentally and physically...
what a great difference between these 2 sides..
all of a sudden, i understand what she told me b4 this..
how ppl are fighting with the smiley on their face...
and i'm trying to feel how will he feel in his workplace...
1 more time, my perception begin to change...
i begin to believe more in what she told me...
will i change??
i wonder too....

the real world vs the imagination
i thought i can imagine what will my future workplace looks like after i entered this current workplace...
however, the truth proven that i'm wrong...
maybe i'm not totally wrong, but i still wrong...
is it i too naive ady??
haiz....
recently i think quite a lot in the matter of naive...
i noe i'm not mature enough,
but the reality proves again that i'm still naive in certain area..
and recently i met 1 gal who are more naive than me...
and her age told me that she is elder than me..
erm.... i wonder what should i say...
anyway, i will keep learning on how to be more mature mentally and physically...
especially in what i do...
may god bless me....

心痛了一整晚，是时候清醒了。
虽然我想的和我做的东西不一样，
但我会努力让它们变一样。
昨晚学到一句话，“顺其自然，自自然然就不见了。”
既然我选择顺其自然，现在不见了是我活该。
我要努力让自己活得更开心，
生活一定会更美好~~

The first time to be home alone at setapak...
watch movie since i'm back from genting...
take biscuits as dinner...
take a bath and then continue drama...
this drama is not really good although many ppl said this is good...
i duno is my perspective changed ady or what happened to my insane mind...
drama, chatting, online, download, all without purpose...
the only purpose is to fill up my time...
felt lazy to do anything although i have a lot of choices to fill up my time...
i choose to waste my time...
and now... almost 1am ady and i still dun wanna go sleep...
last nite also like this...
wasting time without any purpose...
dats the way how i lead my holiday without working..
i'm waiting for a rather impossible thing to happen...
maybe i just need sth to anaesthetize myself....
a nite to be emo...

冷冷的天气，
冷冷的办公室，
冷冷的心。
满怀希望的等待，
换来的是冷冷的感觉。
什么都没有。
还是这就是最好的结局？？

傻傻的，
苯苯的，
呆呆的。。。

我厌倦了等待。。
生平最讨厌的莫过于等待，
尤其是等迟到的人。。

现在的我又陷入等待的苦恼里，
四个星期，足够吗？？
8月19日。。
目前的我把它定为停止等待的大日子。。
同时它也是我离开眼前这份工作的日子。。

我想我大概学会了别太依赖，
成长了就该有成人的样子，
就算我多么不愿意，都不能改变什么。。
学习着，祝福自己。。加油~~

曾经读过一篇短文，
已经忘了短文里说什么，大概就是要把真正的自己带出来，
要对自己说，亲爱的，外面没有别人，只有自己。
所以不要担心，勇敢地跨出来，勇敢面对外面的花花世界，
要有信心自己可以应付。。
加油加油~~

到底什么是天意？？？
在我以为A就是所谓的天意时，
B就会出现嘲笑我的傻我的苯我的无知。。
人算始终快不过天算。。

天意来临时，躲也躲不过。。
只能傻傻的笑自己有多么苯。。
事到如今仍然保有那么大的期望。。
我已经不知道有什么东西可以做，
有什么东西不可以做。。
什么事该做，什么事不该做。。

看着未来，我茫然了。。
我不知道我选的路是我该走的路吗？？
但我清楚知道，选了就是选了。
没能后悔，没能说不要。。
毕竟我已经踏进来了，
我的一只脚已经在药剂这行了，
另一只脚悬空在半空中，
我只能把另一只脚努力拉进船里。
当两只脚都安全的摆放进船里，
我才能有余力思考我想要的是什么，
再慢慢追寻。。
这是目前我所有的打算，
但这打算能实现吗？？
不是我没有毅力，
而是世上的变化永远都在不知不觉中产生。。
计划比不过变化。。

虽然未来的我未必会跟着这条预定的路线走，
但现在的我别无他选，
我不能在这个时候抽身，
这样只会让我跌进水里。
不会游泳的我只会溺毙。。
万万不能啊~~~

just realise a shocking fact....
am i the only colour???
as in the drama i loves the most???
a big shocking stuff early in the morning....
Am i???
I really do wonder on the reason why would it be so fast...

Get a big lesson on monday~ 18 july 2011...
i signed a contract once i began to work and i let this computer get virus...
zzzzz....
this taught me to not to open any link from fb now...
even simply log in i would think twice b4 i confirm...
what a bad effect...
this effect enables me to start thinking abt starting my own bussiness as asked by her...
coz i really think a lot beginning the moment this computer get the virus...
i'm thinking will i get fired??
resign as taking up the responsibility??
will i have to pay for this??
either option could enable me to lose my little salary...
my salary ady not a high amount...
i just work for fun and if i have to lose it...
whats the point of working here...
i really wonders...
and i began to stop rejecting her...
i begin to accept their concept...
wonders~what will i turn out to be in the coming future???

the dream came back....
the similar dream...
it seems to be appear in my dream everynite again...
i'm trying to ignore it...

there are the existence of devil and angel...
i duno who is angel and who is the devil...
i just noe that they are quarrelling inside my mind everyday..
i'm tired because of the quarrel...
i'm worrying, i'm thinking...
i'm trying not to think too much....

another worries is that i'm afraid dat i will change someday...
change into somebody just like her now...
i felt relieved when she told me what she is now...
i do guessed dat b4 and actually i noe the answer...
it is just dat i kept finding excuses for her....
hoping dat she is not the same as what i tot...
and now she told me frankly...
i felt relieved instead of feeling stranger to her...
is it i ady accept this deep in my heart???

been surrounded by ppl trying to influence me all the time...
i wonder what will i turn out to be...
simply wish dat i am who i am...

i shall keep waiting...
waiting till the time come...
either is sweet or pain,
nobody noes...
i think it will stop by itself when it is time...
sweet? i shall stop thinking nonsense..
pain? i'm awake....

洪卓立+鐘舒漫
洪：要不是突然看到你眼睛會说话　也許不會對你装傻
鍾：所以我決定收下　你的花　相信你　說的每句話
洪：是你讓我的心跳每秒鐘快幾下　突然想吻你的面頰
鍾：所以我閉上雙眼　幻想著　期待那些浪漫佳話　花前月下

洪：你也在想我嗎
鍾：你和我一樣嗎
洪：如果愛真的來臨
合：我們會牽手迎接嗎

洪：我是傻瓜　雨聲嘩嘩　晚風沙沙
鍾：想到未來還是有點害怕
洪：我會陪在你身邊　每個今天
鍾：可是明天你會不會愛上新的她

洪：我是傻瓜　雨聲嘩嘩　晚風沙沙
鍾：未知的路　我們是否　要一起出發
合：海角天涯　一直到青春變成白髮
鍾：我只希望你　洪：只希望你
合：叫我傻瓜

洪：我是傻瓜　雨聲嘩嘩　晚風沙沙
鍾：想到未來還是有點害怕
洪：我會送你一個家　也許不大
鍾：但是足夠把我們的　夢想都裝下

洪：大傻瓜　雨聲嘩嘩　晚風沙沙
鍾：未知的路　我們是否　要一起出發
合：海角天涯　一直到青春變成白髮
鍾：我只希望你　洪：只希望你
合：叫我傻瓜

合：原來一世聰明　為你變傻

heard this song from one fm long time ago but i do not have any effort to search for it until now...
love the song...
at the very first time i heard, i do not pay much attention to the lyrics...
i simply love the rhythm...
it is very different from another 傻瓜 song presented by Landy.
Landy's song is very sad but this song presented by this couple is very sweet in my mind...
it's a promise...

a little brief update on my recent happenings~~
i came back kl for work since last week...
worked for 1 week and felt tired...
everyday 9-6...
rather annoying actually..
and i went ack to setapak during weekend by realising that i dun have blanket or sleeping bag there...
luckily i manage to get 1... =P
thanks to ppl who are concern for me...
really thanks a lot..

lsat nite i went to a ceremony...
is some sort like accrediting ceremony...
i can be said as being forced to go there coz i'm really tired...
however, i manage to see the great performance and sharing there...
the 1st time to step on stadium putra bukit jalil...
it is rather grand...
however, i think we can do it better...
we have demand only we will get the supply...
we shall demand for better thing to be applied...
learnt some great word/phrases there too...
没有梦想的人睡不醒，有梦想的人睡不着。。。
只要向前走，不要望伤口。

listen to the sharing and i tot of another thing...
i'm not thinking of my dream on my future...
i'm thinking of some ppl...
i wun give up easily....
i will try to do my best to get what i wish to...
it is not the matter of u can do it or not...
it is the matter of u want to do it or not...

u want it, u will pay all ur effort in achieving what u want,
if u dun want it, u will just think of thousands or millions of excuses just to escape this...
it is always easier said than done....
i will do my best...
in getting what i want...
will let excuses left me alone...

2moro, is the day where i'm able to meet up with my crazy gang again...
it's long time which i din meet them up....
gonna lesser and lesser chance to meet up with them...
everybody is on their own path, leading to different way...
we are all standing on our own branches originating from a tree called "seg hwa"...
i love u, seg hwa...
my best memory are always there....
i will kept it in a deep area in my heart....
learnt sth last nite too...
we shall not kept on looking backwards while we moving forward coz that step gonna slow down our speed of going forward!!!
i do agree...
will not looking backward from now on~~~

作詞：林俊欣
作曲：陳孟奇
編曲：王豫民

一場雨讓世界突然加快腳步
人人行色倉促 我卻有些躊躇
該不該前往附近你那裡停駐
會不會真的很唐突
多久 沒有 這樣 趕路
到時你不會把我留住

我該往哪裡躲雨 避開你那裡
害怕見你我又自作多情
那冰冷的雨滴 像當時的淚滴
提醒自己就快天晴
我該往心裡躲雨 開始習慣壞天氣
尋找放棄的勇氣

一場雨讓世界突然加快腳步
人人行色倉促 我卻有些躊躇
該不該前往附近你那裡停駐
會不會真的很唐突
多久 沒有 這樣 趕路
到時你不會把我留住

我該往哪裡躲雨 避開你那裡
害怕見你我又自作多情
那冰冷的雨滴 像當時的淚滴
提醒自己就快天晴

我不需要更多愛
生命不會因此更蒼白
也許我應該安靜走開
我才會明白

我該往哪裡躲雨 避開你那裡
害怕見你我又自作多情
那冰冷的雨滴 像當時的淚滴
提醒自己就快天晴
我該往心裡躲雨 開始習慣壞天氣
尋找放棄的勇氣
一人躲雨也可以

1、心里有座坟，葬着未亡人.
2、要么忍，要么残忍

3、下辈子我要做你的一颗牙，至少，我难受，你也会疼
4、心不动，则不痛

5、 我才发现，吸引住男人的办法就是让他一直得不到；吸引女人的办法正好相反，就是让她一直满足

6、你会流泪,并不代表真的慈悲；我会微笑,并不代表一切都好。

7、理想老公的条件，1.带的出去，2.带的回来。

8、低调!才是最牛B的炫耀!!!

9、曾经爱过你的人，前世一定和你有缘，不要语言虐待。如果他今生真的负你了，那是因为你前生负他，红尘轮回，无需计较.

10、一个人要是舍得让你伤心，就根本不会在乎你是否流泪。所以赶紧收起你那卑微的泪水。洗洗脸刷刷牙，该干嘛就干嘛去吧...

11、眼泪的存在是为了证明悲伤不是一场幻觉

12、我多想一个不小心就和你白头偕老

13、 如果方向错了，停下来就是前进

14、你来过一下子.我想念一辈子

15、男人要永远感谢在他20多岁的时候曾经陪在他身边的女人。因为20多岁的男人处在一生中的最低点，没钱、没事业；而20多岁的女人却是她最灿烂的时候..

16、从单纯到冷漠是怎样的疲惫?
17、在一起一天拉手在街上那是**，在一起一年拉手在街上那是恋情，在一起五年还能在街上拉手那是感情，在一起十年在街上拉手是亲情。如果三十年后还能一起拉手在街上散步那才.是爱情

18、一念起，万水千山。一念灭，沧海桑田

19、孤单 是 你心里面没有人 ！ 寂寞 是 你心里有的人却不在身边

20、滚罢。带着我最后的慈悲……

21、冬天里你给了我一个夏天的梦 却把我在春天喊醒了 由于一下子不适应 我反而觉得比冬天更冷 但这不怪你`..怪只怪我把梦当成现实了...

22、 一个人没爱过之前叫做孤单.爱过之后叫做寂寞...

23、敏感的人 大多不幸福。。。

24、要么结婚、要么分手

25、 我深信.会有一个男人是为受我的折磨而来到这世上的

26、终究要亲自受伤，才会学着聪明/

27、 世界上最勇敢的事情 是微笑着 听你说你们之间的爱情...

28、我们的关系没有关系。

灯亮灯灭，
三盏亮了两盏，
亮与不亮皆不受控制。

浑然想起，
我遗漏了香港著名的夜景。
我看见的，只有飞机上望下来的吉隆坡夜景。
期待中的万家灯火也只是一排排规规矩矩的路灯，
才发现，所谓的万家灯火早已不存在。

缘起缘灭，
也不受控制，
到底是一切早已成了定局，
还是决定权仍紧握我们的手中？？？

从前的我，因为一部戏，痴痴地相信着，
“只要相信，期待就会成真。”
后来的我，累了也醒了，
不再相信期待。
现在的我，很想相信，期待越大失望越大。

胡言乱语宣告完毕~~~
emo完了，梦也该醒了~~

Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere


A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on


(Chorus)
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlights people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night.


Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on


(Chorus)


Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'
Streetlights people


Don't stop believin'
Hold on
Streetlight people


Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'
Streetlights people

Falling in love with this song after Green Lung SayWhat 2011...
Enjoy the nite very very much.....
Tiring but valuable....=)

i duno what to do, how to do and what can i do....
无法理清思绪。
wish to get back the ori hai foon...
acts normally in everything.....
but as the speaker said,
never regret and shall look forward....
only dat could bring us go forward....
hope i can apply this...
someone teach me how to do....
appreciate...

less than 24 hours to the end...
meaning i will disappear from here for a long time as well....
until the time i get back from hong kong....
waiting for it.....
13 days!!!!!!!!!
i'm lovin it... XD

这才发现，
原来，都只是我想要的而已，
幸亏我还能拥有一些休息的时间，
不需要面对太多。
又是我的责任感霸占了我的思想吗？？
悲哀。
从此以后，我不会再轻易交心了。
可悲的自以为是。

有一個寫得很美，關於禪的故事：師父出了一個難題給弟子，他告訴弟子，有一隻小鵝，從小就被裝進瓶子里餵養。3個月後，這只小鵝的身體越來越大，已經大得無法從瓶子里出來了。請問要如何在不打破瓶子的前提下，把鵝活捉出來呢？

這問題把弟子問倒了，弟子每天靜坐冥想，該用怎個方法才能把鵝抓出來呢？最簡單的方法當然是摔破瓶子，可那就破壞了規則，不行。那先把鵝弄死，肢解後再一塊一塊取出來吧？那也不行，規則說了要“活捉”！
弟子思忖，若這兩個辦法都不行，那真是沒轍了。這問題是不是沒有答案？可是師父必然不會問一個沒有答案的問題，師父問這個問題，一定有他的用意。於是弟子繼續想，想啊想，日想夜想，想了很久很久，終於想出了答案！

弟子得到答案的那一刻，不禁哈哈大笑，怎麼如此簡單的問題，竟能困擾我這麼久，真是太蠢了！

● 煩惱的念頭

各位想知道答案嗎？哈哈！撰文至此，我是一定要說的了。其實這答案一點也不科學，卻饒富禪意。

答案：根本沒有瓶子，也沒有鵝，所以沒有問題，也沒有答案。

師父想要表達的是，所有的問題與煩惱，都是你頭腦製造的幻想，它從來不曾存在過。這世上沒有這麼一隻活在瓶子里的鵝，如果你為一個不存在的東西憂慮，那就著相了。

瓶子里的鵝是一個比喻，喻著我們身邊發生的所有大事小事。很多問題，只存在於頭腦，而不出現在現實。

西方一個心理實驗與這故事異曲同工：人的煩惱，40%屬於過去，50%屬於未來，只有10%屬於現在。在這之中，92%的煩惱未曾發生過，剩下的8%則能輕易度過。


當煩惱出現，你要知道，你並沒擁有煩惱，你擁有的，只是一個煩惱的念頭。除卻念頭，甚麼也沒有，就像佛家所說的：“一切有為念有，一切無為念無。”

12th MAY 2011

today, is the day.... haha....
can also be considered as my big day in my life....
it is the 1st day where i use my own effort, my own hand to earn a rm50.
although it is not a big amount,
however, the meaning outweighes the money...
hehe....

my work is all about data migration, meaning transfering information from old system to the new system....
is the word i learnt for this working life....
9am-6pm....
enable me to feel the life of office lady.... XD
wake up early in the morning, take bus and then take lrt to kl sentral...
get know to  2 little lady (20 yrs) who are my collegues....
1 funny girl and 1 considered quiet girl....
they communicate with me by using english at first until we reach our seat and then we began to talk using cantonese...
i seldom talks in cantonese la....
and end up been said as my cantonese very funny and weird at the end of the day....
sweat.... haha...
then have a "short" briefing from 10am-12pm at an amazingly cold conference room....
nearly frozen there....
when the time reaching 12pm, my heart begin to cheers: hurray, its 12pm!!!!
then it is time to begin our practical after the lecture....
hahaha....
kelam-kabut for it...
it seems to be easy when seeing our "lecturer" do it,
but when it comes to us, it is not easy as what we think....
and when i create the folder for the company database i am handling,
suddenly a great feel came to me....
i am doing a great job for myself... haha....
and when the time 6pm is approaching,
we ady finish what we suppposed to do today....
and we are revising all the steps required in our job...
it is truly a study day where we need to revise what we learnt....

then it comes to the end of my working day....
lrt and bus again....
reached home  by 7.20pm..
rather sad case...
is good if i can reach home earlier....
haha....

anyway, feeling great today....

有些话，真的说不出口，
大家，教教我吧，
不要问我为什么，
就是不知道为什么。

我爱你，三个字，就是说不出口，
明明机会就摆在眼前，
就是说不出。

难道真的要等到不能说时才来说吗？？
对不起，我知道我不该，
看着小小的他，轻易的说我爱你，
什么时候，我也能？？ ？

含蓄的情感，阻止我吗？？

妈，母亲节快乐，我爱你，谢谢你。。。

today came to the official ending of 2nd year pharmacy student life....
after a month of suffering with study week and exams....
i bet this is the best enjoying study week and exam period i had....
with all kind of dramas....

after a 4 month break and i am going toward 3rd year.....
hope it would be a good good year ahead....
although it is getting tougher and tougher....
enjoy~~

shall this be last post b4 exam???
i duno...
haha...

erm...
wanna express my feel for this studyweek....
it gonna ends soon...
i noe how much i prepared,
i planned the schedule,
i followed the schedule,
however, do i simply browse through or i really remember??
the answer rely on the time i saw the past year questions....
i noe the answer,
and i noe i shall work harder........
i maynot get the excellent for the exam,
but i wish at least i can get a good for it......
the coming days shall not be wasted and i will do my best.....
maybe this just the really study time for me.....

i couldnt say that i dun feel regret of starting a drama at the beginning of the studyweek and get addicted to it......
maybe i do feel regret sometime,
but i wun say that i would rather not started it,
coz it brights up my day when i really get bored of study,
and have nth to entertain my eye and my mind.........
hopefully it wun be a  big obstacle to the coming days........
coz i ady finished whatever epi i had now....
i dun mind to have it shown again but i dun think is a right time to repeat it at this particular moment......

i still realise that i am a student and ym current role is to study....
and fighting for exam....
lets fight together!!!
although i noe is a hard time for us now........

and just now i watched shows from singapore, Life Reconstructed....
is a nice show, i dun really noe how to describe it well here.....
however, i would rather recommend u all to get it watched....

haha... enough expressing...
shall go to sleep now and tomorrow will be a good good day........
haha....

Everybody!!!!!!
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!