Young & Idiotic

I'm thinking of permanently shifting to another website because blogger's GUI is absulutely user unfriendly now.

I'm doing this job right now that allows me to meet crazy people every day. Today, I met someone with a grasshopper in his hair.

A GRASSHOPPER.

I ask you.

I think what made it really funny was this man is a doctor from the hospital itself. So imagine, this very confident oldish man with boisterous voice walking in and say in defcon five, "So, take blood pressure here right?"

"Yeah... You are... Oh, Doctor Chin. Okay, please sit on this chair." And that's when I noticed the grasshopper in his hair, and was contemplating if I should mention it to him. You know... It's kind of awkward to tell a confident doctor there is a grasshopper in his hair. Kind of pinches his style, yo? But I changed my mind.

"Okay sir, I'm done. Er wait... There is a grasshopper in your hair... Hang on, I'll catch it for you! There! Got it! It's quite cute!"

"Wah! Where did that come from?", he says. "Well, I won't know that." I replied with a constrained, professional, leveled voice, possibly breaking two ribs, and rupturing a spleen in the progress of trying not to laugh. Mr. Doctor left the bounced out of Room Nineteen faster than he came in after that. In case you're wondering, I set the grasshopper, now christened 'Jimmy', from his empty urine bottle prison after work.

Backtrack last week, I met three crazies in one day. The first was an old lady who came in singing "Jingle Bells".

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way~ Hey!" she sang, throwing her arms in the air for a final emphasis on the last word.

"Very nice aunty, please sit here so I can take your blood pressure ah..."

Immediately after that, another Chinese lady came in and start gabbling nonsensical words in what sounded like Tamil. "Yuendenarl, yuendernarl, yuendernal....", and then walked towards the dustbin to throw away a fifty dollar note her daughter gave her to occupy herself.

"Aunty, come here! Gimme your money!"

This last one is a winner.

Right after Christmas granny and race-confused granny came in, an old man hobbled in. He looked perfectly normal on the outside.

"Hello uncle, please sit here so I can take your blood pressure... Okay, the reading is fine. You can proceed to room fifteen for your consultation now."

"Miss, you treat elderly people really well...", he mumbles.

"... Well, thank you," I smile as I replied. I don't think I would rank myself very high on kindness and compassion outside of my job hour.

"Could you give me your address?", he repeats, louder this time.

"What?", possibly thinking I heard him wrongly.

"Could you give you your address? Lee Kuan Yew told me, if I find anyone who treats the elderly well.... I should take their address, so I can give him...."

"... Uncle, you should really go now, you're really late for your consultation hor."

Here's a Thai steamboat post to appease the angry blog gods instead!

I realised, the Blogger iPhone app makes the pictures really big. Okay, hopefully I'll have time to update with a CEC Decor post on Friday night. First time in all the five decor year, only one person paints up to half the logo. It sort of became a personal project.

It's not very often se decides to treat me, so when she offered to yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised! She brought me to eat dimsum at Crystal Jade after school.

Their lunch set for two can most definitely feed three girls. And, I eat like a man.


I love the 金沙包! Custard-salted egg mix oozing out of a cute, fluffy, pipping hot bun... On a rainy day too! Life was perfect for five seconds.

I'm not sure how the pictures load on a normal web browser when I uploaded them via the app. Definitely feeling hungry... Especially when I look at the cute orange bun. :(

I don't know why, but this sudden impulsive streak in me made me pick up my phone to text my skinny friend for supper.

She told me she was boiling water and was just about to open a packet of instant noodles when I called her. Like, one hand holding food, and the other hand texting me.

I made her turn off the fire, and we went to a little coffeeshop one bus sop away from her home for porridge supper. Porridge really makes you feel happy. It's nice, comfort food.

I guess, I was really feeling bitter about not going overseas when all my friends are these couple of days, so I'm glad skinnyTwo and I went out for awhile. I'll get over it. Someday.

All my friends are going Switzerland to study. And... I must say, I'm really quite envious. But I know I've made my choice, and I don't want to turn back.

I know, realistically, my parents cannot afford to send me away to study, and have fun. At this age, I know I cannot 'play' my life away and I should take some responsibility for my future, you know, earn money and stuff.

To be honest, the real reason I want to go abroad is because I want to avoid working, paying taxes, and generally taking on the responsibilities of adult.

My favourite professor told me, Education provides opportunities. I know I will miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime chance to study in a beautiful place with gorgeous architecture, lovely scenery, do an international internship on an exotic resort island... And while my friends are enjoying all these perks, I'll be working in a restaurant in Singapore, 12 hours a day, and missing out in "life".

I don't need to defend my stand against other people. I just need to defend myself against myself.

It's like, this blogger app was made for me! I stopped blogging for awhile because blogger could only be accessed via my laptop (I didn't like the email-to-myself idea) and I hated switching on the laptop because it reminded me of homework.

So anyway, after twenty-tree years of being a passenger, I can now join the ranks of the drivers in Singapore! Highly exciting new prospects are opened now! Tee hee! I think I should blog properly about yesterday because it's quite a milestone in my young little life.

Okay let's see. I vaguely remember the night before I was feeling really listless because I wondered if I was even going to pass. I told my mum she had to wake up at 6 to get my breakfast ready and she baulked at the idea. Breakfast is very important! But I told her I had driving test later so she grudgingly agreed.

I woke up at 6.30, and went to put on make-up. I know. So unlike me. But I guess I wanted to pass really bad. And my entire clique told me to be pretty. Somehow I had the inkling it was going to be a really good day because I felt pretty and thin (all the hallmarks of a successful driving day from past tweeting experience).

I still made shit mistakes during warm-up, like absolutely mounting a kerb during parallel parking, but my instructor and I laughed it off. Like, what the hell. Before my turn to go to the waiting room, he made me eat more breakfast just so I don't space out later. I have this horrible tendency to space out when I'm hungry.

I really hate the the waiting room. It's an evil room that makes you stew in your own thoughts. All the past failing experiences will come back to haunt you. The room just makes you more nervous. There are some people in the room who you know are just going to pass. There was these two girls who had THE look. You can tell!

Anyway when I got called, my tester didn't use the electronic notepad. I was hugely relieved. Usually they use an electric notepad to take down notes and your points, but this dude used an old school scoring sheet and folded it in his pocket, so the whole time I couldn't see him taking notes. I was hugely relieved leh! Last time, all the testers made me super paranoid when they tapped tapped tapped their way and I couldn't drive straight for nerves.

Driving was quite a breeze! I parked really nicely in my favorite lots (You could tell he was impressed) and did all my pre-drive off checks. I only did slope (revved up to 3, but I didn't care), directional change, crank-course #26, vertical and parallel park. I sucked at S-course and somehow he didn't think I need to do it. HAHA! I did act confident and asked people to give way to me in the circuit la.

I made this major mistake of changing to the wrong lane when I was about to exit. He just gave too much information and I kind of went overload. He said I didn't understand simple English. I said, "My mother is Thai..." and he went, "Orh ok. Exit circuit." I said really happily, "Oh! You want me to exit circuit ah? I know, know! OKAY!"

Driving on the road was a breeze. Changing lanes towards Eunos was a breeze because there were no cars. You won't believe my luck. Actually when I was doing my U-turn at this notorious junction, I couldn't tell whether I was allowed to turn, but luckily, cars kept turning out from a side-road so I couldn't turn at all!

And when I was stuck later on the way back, (had to filter right to do another turn) none of the lorry and vans wanted to give way to me! Then this white Lexus (literally like my 白马王子) slowed down and made everyone else behind him slow down too and made way for me. Oh god! I am so grateful leh! Thank you, whoever you are! T^T

I did think I would fail because driving back to the test centre, I drove too near to the stationary vehicles parked on the side of the road and the tester went, "Haiyo! You drive very close leh! See! Wait you fail ah! Okok! Go up office now!"

Back in the office, he gave me a whole series of instructions and I kept nodding my head to everything he said. Then he stared at me for really long and asked, "How many times you take?" and I whispered, "Three..." And he went, "Pass la, pass la!" I was so happy I jumped or joy in my seat and wanted to tear out of the room. He said, "Must watch safety video downstairs ah! And drive safely!"

So I did (and swore I would drive safely), took a set of ID pictures at the instant booth, and made my license! Hooray!