o come let us adore him

Incense fills the air, and the silence is all-pervading. Everywhere I look, I see people anticipating the announcement of the birth of Christ. The wait seems almost interminable, and it shows on all their faces. A hushed expectation seems to loom just above all our heads, like a fog in San Francisco.

I only wish things were like that.

The odour of pride and ego hung heavily in the air, a faint miasma that just taints the pleasant sandlewood. I cannot say that I was the very picture of humility either. Deep inside me, I fought to keep my mouth shut for various reasons.

Even then, my mind churned silently, all the while conjuring venom.

To you: I'm sorry I thought those things about you. They were uncalled for. You wouldn't know it, but I'm apologizing anyway.

leave your conscience at the door

Much as I detest speaking about the present state of my life, I am now officially...

A Force Protection Trooper for Tengah Air Base. I am essentially, he who will defend the base to the death against all enemies, enemy fighter planes included.

The condition of my living area can be best described as primitive. I mean, who else in Singapore sleeps on a bed made of foam?

But enough of that.

Christmas is just around the corner. The birth of my Lord Jesus Christ. Have I done enough to prepare for his coming?

Have I, as the nifty title suggests, left my conscience at the door?

Have I forgotten all that He has done for me?

Have I been paying lip service to Him?

Have I left Him behind as well?

There are nights in camp when I lie down on my (foamy) bed, simply pondering those questions. Pondering about the state of my soul. Wondering if I've done what I feel I should do.

Most nights, I lie in regret, knowing I haven't. Most nights, I resolve to be a better person, to try my utmost to be His child.

But when the sun rises, I am lost in the flood of "everydayness". The tidewaters of the mundane activities that fill up my time are irresistible. Like a hopeless piece of deadwood, I am sucked into the whirlpool and then lost within until it spits me out again, drenched, and unusable.

Then the cycle repeats itself, over and over.

Are humans that weak? How did men of old find the strength within themselves to resist temptation?

Will I find that strength within me?

So many questions.. and no answer in sight.

i don't feel like dancing.

Wake up in the morning with a head like ‘what ya done?’
This used to be the life but I don’t need another one.
Good luck cuttin’ nothin’, carrying on, you wear them gowns.
So how come I feel so lonely when you’re up getting down?
So I play along when I hear that favourite song
I’m gonna be the one who gets it right.
You better know when you’re swingin’ round the room
Look’s like magic’s solely yours tonight

But I don’t feel like dancin’
When the old Joanna plays
My heart could take a chance
But my two feet can’t find a way
You think that I could muster up a little soft, shoe gentle sway
But I don’t feel like dancin’
No sir, no dancin’ today.

Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Even if i find nothin' better to do
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
I can't break it down when I’m not in the mood?
Don’t feel like dancin’, dancin’
Rather be home with no one if I can't get down with you

------------------------------------------------

Nobody's callin' that payphone in your mind
I wonder just what they find but that line's busy all the time
I ain't got nothing but your seed on my face
You'll put them babies to waste without your finger in the pie

-----------------------------------------------

I swear The Scissors Sisters write the most kinky lyrics. They've got me hooked on ol' fashioned disco.

I'll see if I can rustle up some youtube viddy for public consumption.

end this. please.

2006 seems almost interminable.

Feb 2006: I shifted back to Simei
Feb 2006: Prom Night

June 2006: Graduation
June 2006: Dreamscape 3.0

September 2006: Enlistment
September 2006: Visit to CGH

October-November 2006: The increasing terror while awaiting results from CGH; the relief.

December 2006: Graduation Parade

In between all of this, I also found time to work at the Expo, at Cold Storage Eastwood Centre, and I even helped out a newfound friend with a selected reading of a play she wrote.

Too many things have managed to happen in this year. And I'm not just talking about the stuff I've listed above.

It's been filled with too many sad moments. The estrangement of family, the near destruction of self, and mommy's repeated wild mood swings.

Please. End this already. Bring the new year and hopefully bring me a good year too.

張震岳 - 爱我别走 KTV

Another one of them sad songs from them taiwanese.

quotable quotes

CK, my bunkmate, to me.

"How come your nipples like fake one like that? So 2d."

truth and honesty

I thought if I tried hard enough, I'd eventually come to terms with it and grow to accept it. I told myself to stay strong, to take everything as something new, an experience that will come and never come back again. I told myself it would be like going on a sort of a holiday away from the rest of the world, to undergo a change in my life.

Eight weeks have since passed. In terms of all that I have to go through, eight weeks is only a minor blip, a blink of an eye.

I hate this. I hate this double life I am forced to lead.

Military Melvo. Civillian Melvo.

Every Friday or Saturday seems like a momentary release, a much needed fresh breath of air from the staleness that is the military life I have not voluntarily chosen to undertake. Time passes as it will, and suddenly it's Sunday.

It's like being told you have cancer and 6 months to live, and realising that you don't have enough time to do the things you want to do, or to hang out with the people you want most to be with.

Each time I have to book in, there's a weight upon my heart, tugging it ever lower and deeper into some tear-sodden abyss. All I can do, is to kiss my mom goodbye, and look on forlornly as she quietly turns her back and plods away to her car, bereft of her child for the next five days. It is like a stab to my heart to see my mother unhappy because I have to leave her. It hurts so much, so much that sometimes it is all I can do to just stay quiet and just not feel.

And I? I pack my emotions away, and lock them within the deepest corner of my soul. I cannot afford to show what I truly feel. I cannot afford to let the flood of negativity take over my mind. Instead, everything bottles up, and I brood. It is like a lump of snow careening down a hillside, gathering more along the way, growing ever larger.

Eight weeks have since passed, and what have I to show for myself?

Each weekend I drown my stress in alcohol and the pounding music. Each weekend I seek solace in my God, whose loving embrace I cannot do without. Each weekend I allow myself to curl up on my bed, and allow the pent-up frustrations to run free.

Am I to go on like this for the next 96 weeks of my life?

Before then, I know I shall surely crack. And then I wonder what will happen.

I do not want to complain, I do not want to bitch about how much I detest my life inside. Enough people have done that for me.

Grace's father once asked me, "how come you don't talk about the army? you don't have any stories to tell like Patrick does?"

I don't want to talk about the army. I do not have stories, because I don't wish to remember anything that has to do with it.

My life has come to an unwelcome halt. An overextended pit stop for which there is no reason.

absence makes the heart grow fonder

It's been a whole three months! Finally we get to go out and catch up with each other (or well, for me to catch up with you two).

At least we're as happy as ever. Just look below for evidence. =)

飞儿乐队 你很爱他

Who do you truly love?

A friend of mine sent me a song once, and I never realised how sad it was until I read the lyrics.

当你决定你要离开我
我没有说什么
就当作你自由

有好几次我都想挽留
苦求也没有用
就当作是寂寞

只有我能明白 他的温柔对你是种解脱
就坦白告诉我 谁是你的最爱


其实你很爱他 对我的惩罚
说你没有想他 是可怜我吧
我已没有藉口 只能放手
不敢奢求 你说爱我

其实你很爱他 他很温柔吗
其实你很想他 就说出口吧
我已不想多说 捂住耳朵
不想再次听到你说 你很爱他

I'll make a translation for those who don't read mandarin.

When you said that you were leaving me,
I didn't say a thing.
I let you run free.

And how I've tried to keep it alive
My pleads would be in vain
I'll just chalk it up to my own lonely life then

I'm the only one who understands
His love for you is a form of release
Why can't you tell me then:
"Who do you truly love?"

I know it has to be him
And that's my punishment
You tell me you don't miss him
Is that your form of pity?
I've run out of excuses
I can only let go
I don't even dare to ask,
please tell me you love me?

I know it has to be him
Does he truly love you more than I do?
I know you think of him day and night
Just tell me so
I've run out of things to say;
I don't want to listen to you
I don't want to hear you say

That you love him.

wake me up inside

It comes when you least expect it.

My hands, they tremble. There's cold sweat forming on my brow. My heartbeat accelerates, and I start breathing faster. Adrenaline is pumping in my veins, and my imagination begins to run wild. What if? What if? What if?

Oh my God, please don't let this happen now in front of all my bunkmates. No, breathe in deep, breathe in out, stop shaking like a leaf in the wind, GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF!!

No use. There's no fighting this. I get down on my knees, wrap my towel around my neck, and visibly pray. For deliverance, for peace, for anything.

oh sweet Jesus save me please?

Then it begins. Suddenly, everything is turned upside down. Darkness becomes my only light. Nothing seems to make sense. The screams of a million million lost souls are all I hear. It's like a crazy downward spiral into a pit which has no end. Time seems to stand still, bearing silent witness to this, this, insanity.

Insanity? There is no hope. There is no divine intervention. There is mind crushing failure. Pressed down into the mud like so much dirt. What miracle? What cure? What remedy? There exists nothing. No one will save me. No one cares about what happens to me. There is no one, nothing. Nothing but me, and the dark, and that evil bastard watching me silently trying his best not to laugh out loud.

FUCK OFF YOU!! I don't want to see you! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!

But he won't go away. He comes ever closer, smiling widely as he does. He extends one finger dripping in gore towards me, his eyes filled with malevolent glee.

please, don't touch me... I don't want it, I don't want it to happen, I didn't wish for this, I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.........................

He laughs. Laughs so loud it's louder than all that screaming. I cover my hands with my ears but it's no use.

It's only then the river of regret comes along to soothe my broken soul and take me away from that terrible place.

But it's no use. The world sheds no tears and feels no pity for those it shuns.

absence makes the heart grow fonder

So many things have happened in the course of a month. Too many things in fact.

2 major mood swings resulting in 2 separate breakdowns.

finding out I might die. *laughs nervously*

realising that the constant thing on my mind during field camp was you. what that means, I'm not entirely sure yet. Or maybe, I don't want to be sure.

finding out that I place great (if not the most) trust in a friend.

realising that I love my mother too much to leave her for too many days.

------------------------------------------------------------

For an organisation that defends the country against its would-be predators, it is remarkably unorganised and confused.

winter spring summer or fall... all you have to do is call.

I'm back. In the span of two weeks, I've gained and lost things.

Gains

Muscle Mass
Better Hokkien
Better Fitness
Illnesses
Bacteria
Weight

Losses

Fat
Hair
Intelligence
Time

It does seem like my gains do outweigh the losses don't they?

me? sit around and wait for you? not likely.

Right. So this should probably be the last of me for a while.

I'm getting employed! What's more, I get accommodation, and food! I also have the opportunity to experience wildlife firsthand (and probably firstbody too!), and to cohabit with a thousand other men for a couple of months.

What more could I ask for?

There's always you, but you rejected me on a balmy wednesday night already, so I'll just have to make do.

I'm going in for the experience of a lifetime. Quite exciting actually. *quivers with excitement* I think it's going to be fun.

See ya all in a couple of weeks.

*fires a shot from ma smokin' gun and rides off into the sunset*

他心里面是否也有怀念？

一个人喜欢上另外一个人的时候，有时候会突然间问自己：我到底对他有没有什么感情?
当这种问题发生的时候，那这段感情是否已经该到此结束吗？
如果我都还么跟他发生什么关系就开始一问自己,我是不是精神上出现了什么问题? lol

如果我就这么轻易地把爱情给扔掉的话，那我还算有真正的爱过吗？

其实,我也不像这样子，我也想好好的尝试跟你谈恋爱。
但是为什么我就是感觉不到你喜欢上我了呢？
我真的感觉不到安全感！

也许这也是我一厢情愿吧。
也许他对我一点感情也没有。

入兵前,我唯一的愿望就是想接收到你手心传来的爱.
你能让我实现这个愿望吗?

To You: I guess I know how you feel now. To be involved emotionally with someone, and then to suddenly realise that you aren't sure if you are feeling anything after all. It can be quite disturbing, akin to walking along the road only to suddenly realise that the road beneath you isn't solid after all. A most unnerving experience, to say the least.

Ha. Just a little test of self to see if I still can write in Mandarin. Not too bad after all I think. I'm surprised I still know so many words. Interesting.

omgwtfbbq

Three of the cutest laydees in da choir wit him, the pseudo movie star. Lol.

you are taking over my mind...

I can't help it if I don't want my grandparents there for me when I leave on the 8th.

"Honour your father and your mother." Technically, it shouldn't include the grandparents. I don't want it to.

I don't want to hate my grandparents either, but from the way they treat my father, it seems only too easy to do so.

What affection seems to have evaporated. All I see now worth getting out of them is money.

Cold, hard cash.

---------------------------------------------------

I'm about to take a big leap off a cliff.

I hope I survive.

i can't help it when my motorola beeps... and I look at it instead of you

What happens when a long cherished novelty becomes stale?

Do we invent something new? Or should we reuse the same idea, but twist it a bit? Or, should we keep digging at the same hole?

I simply cannot help but sit back in some corner of my mind and to smirk silently as I watch the charade play itself out like some wretched panned movie no one enjoys but sits through anyway.

Then I tell myself, these are the people who will probably be a part of your life (with and without your approval) for many years to come. Would it be wise to mock the ones who have, in one way or another, been an anchor in your life?

I do not grow tired of all of you. Rather, I believe I have grown tired of the activities activity we participate in. The only time we meet as a "group", is when someone celebrates a birthday. Otherwise, no one sees any reason to "group" together.

Little clusters form as a result, and little clusters will break away to form a "group" of its own. Should that happen, we thus have a "sub-group".

Which then, do I ascribe my membership (assuming I have one) to? The original "group", or the little "sub-group" that has formed due to membership meeting difficulties? If it is the latter, what then, is the purpose for the original "group" in the first place? Should the original "group" then be considered to not exist anymore? Wouldn't it be better for us to term ourselves as a group of friends (or in my case, acquaintances) who so happen to meet because someone's birthday must be celebrated?

But I digress.

Daph
Kit
Na
Ling (If she happens to be in Singapore)
Kishan
Shao
Lionel
Darius
KT CAX WJ (hereinafter referred to collectively as "The Bel Ami Boys") (I just found it an ironic nickname for them)
Amos (If anyone remembers his existence)

Did I miss anyone out?

These are the people who normally appear during birthday "celebrations". These celebrations happen in June(Daph & Ling), July (Kishan), August (Kit), September (Lionel & Reena) and November (Shao). During a public holiday like CNY, a meeting (a full scale steamboat dinner, no less) is also convened. The Bel Ami Boys are routinely invited, though never expected to appear, regardless of whether their birthdays are celebrated or not. Like Chippendale strippers, their presence is regarded as welcome flesh by those who would appreciate them.

During each birthday celebration, a dinner will be held at some restaurant. A meal then proceeds, followed by a chill-out session where we, as a group member eloquently puts, "catch up with each other" at a random bar, lounge or pub. Thus far, three of such meetings have occurred this year, each one a month apart.

The trend looks set to stay for the rest of 2006, and every damn year after that until each of us should step into the coffin. Dinner, catch up. Dinner, catch up.

I think it's time we spice things up a bit. If this goes on, we will all end up so bored that we won't even bother attending anymore.

the importance of being precise (and maybe earnest)

At a certain mahjong session, one of the players (a male) innocently remarked to the other (a female):

"Eh, why you like to keep on eating my yew char kway* ah?"

*Dough Fritters

Just think dirty.

Lady From China Pwns.

Eat that, SI2 contestants.

i can feel you breathe

It is a terrifying feeling to draw breath, and feel as if you haven't. It is like drawing water from an empty well, like singing and producing no sound.

I do not relish struggling for every atom of much needed oxygen. I do not want to claw air out of my surroundings.

But I can't help it. I am fucking lightheaded, and I am exhausted from breathing so deep and yet feeling as if I've been holding my breath.

What the hell is going on?

i need you

It's absolutely gratifying to have a friend, during a course of a normal phone conversation, tell you, "You know, I did miss you today. I thought of you while I was doing *insert random activity*"

With those simple words, it lets you know that you are wanted, that people DO think of you, and that you mean something to someone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Words are very important to me; I place great value on them. Precision with words thus, is everything.

For example, a friend wants me to come along on a random outing with others, and my friend uses the term "follow" instead of "accompany". The former, to me, has this oh-so-ever negative vibe that seems to suggest that I'd be trailing along behind like an obedient puppy, or a sullen maid. "Accompany" however, suggests a sense of equality in one's position in a group of people going out together.

I am not being oversensitive. I am merely reading intentions from words. I am not reading too much either. In such matters, I believe that my friends (well, most of them anyway) have the mental capability to choose their words and the facility of language to express themselves more than adequately well. In this, I thus think highly of your grasp of the language you speak all your life.

Note: I am not taking this opportunity to bitch at anyone. I'm just expressing how I feel.

you're uninvited

A good memory is a prized possession these days. It comes in such rare quantities, I can only name 2 persons who have it, one being my mom, and the other being a stranger, Paul.

"So when are you going into the army?"

"Are you prepared?"

"What date you going army?"

"Tekong ah?"

"BMT when ah?"

I have received countless questions in varying forms like the above since forever. I have also had it with answering the same question with the same damn answer.

Point of the matter is, if you do not see fit to remember a stupid date, then do not fucking bother to ask me when I going army ah?

What does it matter if I go in tomorrow, or next week? Do you really care? Do you really give a shit?

These questions are often followed by a barrage of statements like...

"Aiyah, these days army very senang one. No scared lor."

"Wah... so fast ah?"

"wah.. you prepared not?"

"You better mentally prepare yourself arh."

"Wah you go in sure die one..see you never do any prepare."

"*laughs uproariously* YOU ARMY AH? Wah... better prepare yourself ah. *regales stupid tale of life in army to me*"

I thank you all for your concern. Now fuck off. I do not need to hear yet another story about what goes in in field fucking camp. I do not need to know how loud a "thunderflash" is. I am uninterested in listening to your tales of overwhelming physical activity.

Furthermore, I have no interest in memorizing the many acronyms that National Service Men use. On occasion, I purposely feigned interest, and asked one of them what one of the acronyms they spouted with ease meant.

Guess what? They didn't know either. Classic. The clueless fools do not know what they are talking about.

Also, I do not wish to hear any recruit, regular, or otherwise spout the army lingo that totally defaces language.

"wah.. go field camp already damn shag."

As far as http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/shag says,

Shag (Noun)

1. Tangle or mass, especially of rough matted hair.

2. A rug with a thick rough pile.

3. Coarse shredded tobacco.

So, does going for the oft-mentioned field camp (cue audience ooh please) mean that at the end, it resembles a rug with a thick rough pile, or coarse shredded tobacco?

The English language is full of terms that describe the human condition after strenuous activity . One could easily say things like

Worn out.
Wearied.
Tired.
Exhausted.
Fatigued.
Wrung dry.

Six perfectly normal words to use, in place of the wrong word, "shag".

Ooh yes, I am utterly disgruntled with the whole hoo ha about the army business. I am going to experience it myself, and no help is needed especially when all you want to do is tell me your "exciting" stories of the time in the wilds.

And yes, I am amongst the last of my peers to enter the army. Last, is NOT least. I know a good bunch of you, my friends, peers and acquaintances, are going to be discharged from national service at the end of this year, or early next. I do not need the smug look on your face when you remind me that 3 months into my turn, you leave. I do not need you to tell me that I'll be wasting 2 years of my life while you start to study again. May I remind at least one of you that you fucked up your A Levels? Before you laugh at me, think about your own failings first, please? We've led totally different lives since tertiary education started, and what I've experienced in my life, more than makes up for entering the army one year and nine months later.

So there. I've finally found time to voice my displeasure with the nice fucks who want to ruin my day.

I appreciate the gesture, I just don't need it.

Rowan Atkinson Smut

just get it on

I've found what is lacking in porn. All I see the banging of body part into body part. All we hear is the (fake?) moaning and groaning of involved parties.

I think there should be focus on the seduction process instead.

That stare that lasts a little too long.

The sexual tension that burns in the air.

The atmosphere so intense a match could light by itself.

The touch of the hand that lingers just for that extra milisecond.

The little things like this, that make up the entire prelude to even foreplay. It would make the sex so much more hotter.

Instant gratification, however, must have its way, and we are left with the crass scenes that slap us in the face.

I've always liked a good seduction better than sex.

bleargh goes the aching weasel

OMG I am so exhausted.

Staying on an adrenaline rush the whole day is no joke. Craning your head towards the bus stop the whole time is no walk in the park either.

Experiencing vertigo when there's a sudden rush of blood to the brain when victory arrives is bliss.

I do wish I could remember to stop the cat from getting my tongue though.

i be

Swooning
pottering about doing silly stuff
Smiling like a giddy schoolgirl

Feeling like my loins are afire
allowing myself to run wild with imagining things
Frowning in concentration

Trying to restrain myself from touching the phone
undergoing extreme stress because of said restraint
Touching myself instead (only joking!!)

Wallowing in self-pity
lusty
Wishing a certain someone would just sms/call me

Lesson of the day: Do not constantly watch the entrance, because when your heart lurches out your mouth and onto the floor on seeing the one you wish to see, you are unable to function at all.

one silly moment

Gladys: Did you see the sign? I think said the food costs $4.80. But must choose what?

Me: I don't know. I didn't read the sign. There were too many words on it.

random photo viewing moment

This materialised from the results of a random lookthrough the vast file(s) of photos I have.

Oh how I missed those days. Some of it anyway.

awkward position

I recently realised that one of Shania Twain's songs had the lamest lyrics ever.

"YOU'RE A FINE PIECE OF REAL ESTATE AND I'M GONNA GET ME SOME LAND"

Guess the title of the song and receive a free MP3 version of it. lol.

moments of blessed unnotice

It's terrible when you have a handphone as your alarm clock. Imagine being really groggy, and not quite tuned into the world.

Then you hear a ringtone, and you lift up a trembling hand to answer the call.

No one's there to respond.

You panic and look at the screen.

8AM WAKE UP!! ALARM!!!

never fear the cashierman is here

The only kick I get out of being a cashier: dispensing pearls of wisdom.

Situation #1

Kid: Mommy, I like Visa!!

Mommy: *smiles indulgently* Yes..you do.

Me: Oh no, that's wrong. You should love cold hard cash instead. People will worship you.

Mommy: *smiles vanishes a little*

Me: Always remember that okay?

Kid: *clutches at Mommy*

Situation #2

Husband: Eh... see! Got tingle. How they tingle ah?

Wife: I don't know leh.

Me: *intrudes* No good this one.

Husband: Oh, is it?

Me: Yah. They use menthol.

Husband: Eee. How can? *puts condom back*

Situation #3

Boyfriend: I pay first.

Girlfriend: Shoves money into boyfriend's hands.

Boyfriend: Eh, what you doing?

Girlfriend: Take la.

Me: *brandishes receipt in their faces* Nah. Take. You want to use this to fight over money? Easier.

Girlfriend: Oh, no thanks. *scurries away*

Situation #4

16 Y.O. boy: *puts pack of Tingle condoms on counter

Me: *stares incredulously*

Boy: *stares back, turning as red as his t-shirt*

Me: Don't regret it okay?

Boy: Okay, thanks.

is it bad if...

there's a sudden memory of what Bacardi and Coke tastes like and you instantly crave for some?

you hear a song and you are transported back to a dark, smokey, deafening location, and you long for a moment to be physically there again?

you see a t-shirt, and you quickly look up to look at the face of the owner of the t-shirt, only to realise that's it's not the face you want to see, but that of a stranger?

aw c'mon just a lil please?

Attention. Everyone deserves a little.

I thought I deserved a little more from you.

How come you spent almost the whole time focused on someone else? How come it felt as if there was no interest coming from your direction, when all signs pointed the other way the previous week?

You hurt me.

Maybe I didn't make myself clear enough. Or maybe you think I'm not good enough for you and you've seen a better catch somewhere else.

I don't get cold and hot games. They throw me off track and then I will promptly lose all my interest.

How do I tell you that?

Maybe this was all wishful thinking on my part.

this i promise you

I'm going to find out more about you.

I'm going to learn all about your quirky behaviour and mannerisms.

I'm going to know you inside out.

You're going to do the same about me.

You'll know every little bit of me.

Then maybe I won't feel so... grey.

For once, I'll feel white instead of black.

a case of the why the fuck aren't you speaking?

Having new stuff occur in my life always makes me rather edgy. I'm not sure what it is I should do, and just how exactly I should act.

Be like I've always been, or alter little bits here and there and present an image that is mostly me, but improved for the moment.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I smsed you today, but you didn't reply to me.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of course, being myself is always the best. It beats having to explain away any mismatch in the lies that one carefully concocts to maintain a certain image.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I sat fidgeting, watching my phone stare lifelessly at me. Where are you?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No, I'm not going nuts. No, I'm not going nuts. No, I'm not going nuts. Yes, I am fine. Yes, I am fine.

This is starting to get to me. I thought I was in firm control of myself? So how is it I'm dithering like some fool? It's even affecting my work.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do I concentrate on counting money when all I have in my mind is you?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Totally disturbing. Fun though.

random thought

How do you help people to grow up?

I've been unsuccessful thus far and it's gnawing at me.

Aaahhh. Random thoughts. They make life a sweet agony.

cry over spilt milk? why bother.

I'm expecting a blow-by-blow account of the chalet outing that I had to miss due to work. Well work, and a fun movie.

I think you guys managed to work out three days of just being together, just having fun, just strengthening existing bonds between you all.

I almost wish I could have been a part of it.

Only almost.

taken for granted, have we?

For most people, relaxing and doing nothing on a Sunday is mostly a given.

For me? I have to ask my boss to give me Sunday off. And then I work from Monday to Saturday.

Welcome to life as a cashier at Cold Storage.

omgwtfbbq

O.M.G.

Why am I working my ass off and thus destroying my social life? And they say life is all about finding balance.

I simply cannot believe the number of outings I've given up simply because of work. Since when was I like that?

This totally has to end. I'm going to start working the afternoon shift and end at 5 bloody pm every damn day. There's no way I'm letting myself close the shop every night.

Social Life, I'm going to own your ass once more.

unavoidable laws of the universe

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR
After your hands get coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP
Any tool when dropped will roll to the least accessible spot.

LAW OF PROBABILITY
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the level of stupidity of your act.

LAW OF THE TELEPHONE
WHen you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

LAW OF DRIVING
The moment you switch lanes, the previous lane you were in will begin to move.

LAW OF THE BATH TUB
Once your body is fully immersed in the tub, the phone will ring.

LAW OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT
When you try to prove to someone that a machine doesn't work, it will.

speak me local

There's just something relaxing about mangling your english and not having to worry about whether you're grammatically accurate or not.

For once, I can let loose and basically speak and no foreigner will understand me.

It's quite fun actually.

It better be fun, considering how I'd probably be speaking like that from September 8 2006 onwards.

i got it now

I know what smile you directed at me two nights ago.

It's the i-want-to-smile-like-i-normally-do-but-i-can't-as-my-boyfriend-will-know-something-is-up-and-will-screw-me-over-so-i'm-sorry smile.

I feel so much better now.

In other news... I have a quotable quote from an ex-colleague.

Obasan: Wah... you see the fruits! They sleep until so shiok.

Me: Huh?

Obasan: Yeah what, some fruits got to sleep in market you know. So hot. Here they got aircon, got bed. So lucky.

Me: !!!!!!!!

cotion of ponfusion

I think the general population needs to decide just what age they want me to be. It's very unnerving to be young a moment, and older the next.

Just today for example, two different families came up to my counter and both sets of parents said the same thing to their children.

"Come, give (insert name of item) to UNCLE! Don't touch the machine! Wait UNCLE scold you ah!"

I sit there in with my jaws gaping at being called an Uncle. I guess you know the next generation has arrived when the kids call you Uncle/Auntie.

Half an hour later, this sweet indian lady comes along, peers at me and says:

"Aren't you a little young to be working?"

relax, lose your senses, numb thyself... because i can't.

As I sit alone at Bedok Hawker Centre during lunch time, the rain suddenly falls. Not the i've-been-building-up-all-day-so-this-is-gonna-kick-ass rain, but the sudden shower that appears out of nowhere to drench the asses out of the unwary.

YOU'RE THE WORST OF ALL!

Memories of an event that happened in the morning decided to rush through my mind. I'd been trying to drown myself in work, but lunch time means time to yourself, and time to yourself means you start thinking deep.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLEASE THIS FAMILY. PLEASE TELL ME HOW?

Strangely, my emotions seem to mimic the weather. A sudden storm of tears arrive unnoticed as I vainly try to consume what's left of my lunch.

TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS FAMILY IS IN A CRISIS!

I guess I'm just not good enough. He who has to emulate the finer points of the elder brother, but not emulate any flaw. He who has to constantly strive to put up a good example to the youngest one, and not allow him to be led astray.

He. He. He.

What about me? In between the youngest and the eldest, I am squashed, without much space with which to grow.

Who sets the good examples for me to follow?

Who keeps me from going astray?

Who is not supposed to emulate my flaws?

How come it seems like I'm some stand-alone entity?

WHY ARE YOU SO SELFISH? CAN'T YOU THINK FOR THIS FAMILY JUST ONCE?

I guess I'm not everything you wanted me to be. I guess I grew up to be selfish, to think only for myself, to be arrogant, to be rude, to be disrespectful. I guess I failed in my duty. I did not teach, I did not help you out. I did not buy food for you.

I guess I'm wrong. I'm sorry. He bought food for you. He made sure you were well-fed. I did not. I am wrong. I have failed in my duty as a son haven't I?

All I've done is to be involved in drama, in music, in church, engrossed in my own life.

I'm wrong for standing alone. I'm wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

Would everyone feel better if I were gone forever?

Maybe things would be less wrong. Maybe then you wouldn't have to be angry with the son who spends your money, who doesn't buy you food, who doesn't help out with the housework, who is a general disappointment.

Maybe you'd all be happier.

speak thy english well

All was fine and dandy with work today. My colleague, however, provided one unintended moment of amusement.

"Ah Boy ah... (that's in reference to me) you must take special note for this one hor. This one is different from the others. This one is a biiiitch ok?"

I choked on my saliva.

"Then this one is not biiitch. You must be able to tell them apart okay?"

I swallowed my scream of laughter, and turned around to see just what she was talking about.

In her hands, was a basket of peaches.

Biiitch.

one of them priceless moments

I wonder if anyone ever feels the way I do. This is what I told Kit after I met her and the others while on the way to have dinner at Outback Steakhouse over at Millenia Walk.

"I love dressing up. The main reason why I love it so much is because it makes me happy. From the start (i.e. bathing) to the end (i.e. leaving house), I get progressively happier and happier that by the time I'm done I'm one huge bundle of joy."

So there. A bimbotic prime-time moment of yours truly. See Kit? I don't always talk about you all the time.

She did agree with my statement though.

Erm. That's Shao. And the Kit.  

The first four drinks consumed. Colourful aren't they? The green drink is Poison Ivy, the red drink is Cosmopolitan, the blue drink is Blue Lagoon, and the little peachy glass is the Aria Sour. Potent shit, every single one of them. 

smug. 

the Suat, the errr...Lionel-wit-da-eyes, the Darius 

Welcome to the family. 

Me, the Suat, and the Kit 

Three sit Pretty 

Sometimes, we like to let it hang out a lil too. 

Sometimes, things get a little wild. 

Daph and the pinked out one 

top: darius
mid: me & daph
btm: reena & kit & kishy

the strangeness of it all

There. I'm feeling it again. Out of nowhere it comes boiling out and now I'm burning.

Oh yes indeed. I'm angry. Worse yet, I have no reason as to why I'm angry. Wait. I DO have a reason, but there's not much of justification to it. The reason why I'm angry is because I typed the name of my friend in a conversation. Looking at that name alone is enough to make my blood boil, and I'm not even sure I know why.

Lost in the woods yet? I sure as hell am. For the time being, I've lost track my normally logical self.

Ha. I feel like Phoenix. All raw emotion. Maybe I should go burn some things too. Or cut myself. Or cut other people.

I hope I don't screw up anyone's day tomorrow.

Refurbish!

There. I've decided to rearrange the links area. Turns out it was getting too messy for my tastes.

Now, it's all in alphabetical order. The order of links DO NOT reflect the relationships that the blogger sustains with the person to whom the links belong to. This arrangement also does not mean that being at the top means I like you best. Or least, if you're at the bottom, eating everyone's shit.

Oh yes, if I've placed you next to someone you don't like, just squirm a little and I think you'll feel better after that.

100 naughty little things kids shouldn't do! (but they do it anyway)

1) smoked
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex
6) made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs
11) taken pain killers
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
13) lied to your parents
14) lied to a friend
15) snuck out of the house
16) done something illegal
17) cut yourself
18) hurt someone
19) wished someone to die
20) seen someone die
21) missed curfew
22) stayed out all night
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
24) been to a therapist
25) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair
27) received a ticket
28) been in a wreck
29) been to a club
30) been to a bar
31) been to a wild party
32) seen the mardi gras
34) had a spring break in florida
35) sniffed anything
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap
40) own a 50 cent cd
41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out
48) fainted
49) had a crush on your neighbor
50) had someone sneak into your room
51) snuck into someone else's room
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert
54) dry humped someone
55) been called a slut
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush
61) consider mac, dre, e40 or mistah fab your favorite rapper
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall
64) skipped school
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury
67) gone to court
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
69) caught something on fire
70) lied about your age
71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) cheated with someone
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed
81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84) watched tv for 12 hours straight
85) been to a fair
86) been called a bad influence
87) cursed
88) prank called someone
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
90) cheated on a test
91) cheated on homework
92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex
93) been pushed into a pool
94) played pool
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt

Some of the things are fairly tame aren't they? But nonetheless... it's a whopping 70/100 been-there-done-those for me. Out of the 30 that I've never done, 6 are impossible. I can't buy a flat, or see a therapist or go for rehab. I also can't install speakers in the car. NO CAR. I can't see the mardi gras and we don't have spring in Singapore do we?

Try this everyone. See how good you are. *smiles encouragingly*

Why Names Can Sometimes Be Apt.

Today marks another day of the endless Dota rounds that consume my life.

It also provided me with an occasion to blog. I had a teammate with a very interesting online nick.

IAMJIBAI. (say this like you were He-man. I...AAAMMMM... JEEEEEE BYYEEEEEE.)

Indeed. He was jibai through and through. There he was, the most powerful hero in the game, allowing the rest of his weaker teammates to fight the other team, while he stood back because he was scared.

Jibai (Pussy) indeed.

Have your cake and eat it.

Recently, I was privileged (I think) to read the essays and compositions that my teacher friends were marking.

They were eye-opening, and suffice to say, amusing. Okay fine, so I was clutching my stomach and guffawing out loud, sue me.

There does exist one that stands out. This compo was written by a student who came from China. Yep, bad english here we come. The story that they were supposed to write involved a wrongful act committed by said students that they were eventually forgiven for.

The end result was HORRENDOUS! There wasn't a single sentence that made sense to the reader. Here's an example. "Mummy do beautiful, so I morning early go out to not school and play."

Actually, my example still makes some sense. Ah whatever.

Anyway, the crowning glory came at the end of the compo. There was a lengthy paragraph, which ended with the following two words:

".....................DOESN'T WILL?"

SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN SEVEN

7 Random Things About Me
1) I only own 5 pairs of shoes.
2) My leg hair extends up to mid calf.
3) I have three strands of hair on my left big toe. (I was fiddling with it a moment ago, that's how I know)
4) I've found my G-Spot.
5) Giving me a massage = rubbing all my erogenous zones. Yes, it turns me on. *licks lips*
6) I actually enjoyed reading "can you keep a secret". Bimbotic, yes I know.
7) I last peed on my pants 10 years ago.

7 Things That Scare Me
1) Death.
2) People stealing my property.
3) Spooky Stuff.
4) Losing my computer!
5) Acne.
6) People with bad fashion sense?
7) Cauliflowers. Aren't they gross? Bloody albino mini trees.

7 Random Music At The Moment
1) Carrie Underwood - Jesus take the wheel
2) Mariah Carey - Don't forget about us
3) Unknown Singer - Forever I will sing (It's a psalm)
4) Rihanna - Unfaithful
5) Rihanna - SOS (Rescue me)
6) PCD - Buttons
7) Corinne Bailey Rae - Put your records on

7 Things I Like Most
1) A meaningful prayer. (Involves plenty of emotions)
2) Performing!
3) Desperate Housewives. Eva Longoria let me lick your toes.
4) The three of us.
5) The four of us.
6) Whoring in front of the camera.
7) Whoring.

Nah I'm kidding.

7a) Wanton mee.

7 Things I Often Say
1) "OMG"
2) "Fuck la"
3) "Umm..."
4) "I tell you I tell you!" (Prelude to heavy duty bitching)
5) "Man I'm good looking."
6) "Man I'm humble."
7) "Eeeeh!"

7People To Do This
1) Kishy!
2) Kit!
3) Azai!
4) D!
5) Sashi!
6) Err... Adrian!
7) Grace.

So there Donny. I've done it. Wheee...

*sails off into the sunset*

MELVO DOLL!!



Get your hands on the latest in dreamscape limited edition collectible figurines! The melvo doll is available at your nearest toy department for only $69!

He walks, talks, bitches, and even sleeps in your bed!

Get him now while stocks last!

Batteries not included.

Accessories sold separately.

Dreamscape 3.0

At last, Dramatec has staged its latest production, a self-created show, Dreamscape 3.0.

We've weathered many storms, and persevered though there were many times anyone of us could have just given up. Tears of joy, of sadness, of anger and of hatred were all shed within the last 3 months.

Presently, I'm drained beyond measure. How I'm even up typing is a mystery even to me, but I guess a little introspection is good for the soul.

I remember the initial excitement at the freedom to create our own characters. I remember taking my first baby steps towards the character that would come to be called the Nameless One.

I also remember Yazid's Richard Thompson getting linked together with my Nameless Self, and spinning a whole yarn of a tale out of air. Those days were probably the most creative I'd ever been.

Of course, I wish I had more time to properly flesh out the story, but I'm very happy with the end result that is story 3 of Dreamscape.

Then the rehearsals started, and I found difficulty staying in character as the Nameless was a rather flighty person to cling onto. Yazid though, was sturdy as a rock in his hold on Richard. Those days were painful, as there were things like lack of commitment, a new script by disgruntled members being thrown into the fray, and very emotional people.

It seemed almost as if Dreamscape would be ground to a halt just a month before production. But the directors never gave up (although they really wanted to). Nad and Shahdon (and eventually Shikin) pushed forward with their ideas, and we eventually hit production night.

Funny. Nameless only became truly solid 6 days before production. I remember finally pushing Melvo back into some crevice somewhere, and truly feeling it.

It was also about that time where I started crying like a bitch watching the others rehearse, and watching Richard Thompson wilt before (and behind) my eyes on stage.

===========================================================

"Daddy, I told you this on production night, and I'll say it again. I don't blame you for leaving us to fend for ourselves. I'm just really happy that I got to meet you at least once before you left forever. For now, it's goodbye. I'll miss you. I know I will."

Love,
your son.

==========================================================

I love all you guys. Your thank you teary emails are coming up as soon as I wipe my eyes.

I'm Clairvoyant and Other Mysteries of Life.

There are times when you just know that things are going to end up a certain way. Be it a precedent matter, or a gut feeling, you just know it.

And, I was right. As usual. You'd think I'd be smarter than to create problems for myself.

"Just let it die
With no goodbyes
Details don't matter
You paid the price.

No one can do it like me.
Remember that always."

--------------------------------------------------------------

Production is coming up this week.

I am unrested. I think I'm going to end this week with a bang, and sleep for 2 days.

There are so many existing problems. I'm trying to help where I can, as belated as that help is. Unfortunately, with my recent trend of having a short leash on my temper and patience, I've been dispensing bitchiness like there's no tomorrow.

However, as problematic as things are, I hope the show goes on.

Oh who am I kidding?

My heart says the show should be fucked. Period.

Of course, perseverance says I must persevere. And I shall.

DREAMSCAPE 3.0!!!

DRAMATEC PRESENTS ITS LATEST PRODUCTION, SCHEDULED TO BE STAGED AT TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC'S AUDITORIUM FROM 15-16 JUNE 2006!

TICKETS ARE GOING AT ONLY $5 A PERSON!!

Dreamscape is essentially, as the title suggests, a collection of three stories that occur in a dream. These stories were spun out of the imagination of our very own actors and put to script by members of Dramatec.

Coincidentally, all three stories have a link to family.

Story 1: Disappointment. A story between an estranged mother and daughter.

Story 2: Paranoia. What do you do, when you think your spouse is having an affair with the maid?

Story 3: Lost. A stranger in a park suddenly means so much more to a fatherless kid.

Intrigued? You should be.

Tickets are going only at $5. But I've said that already.

Ask me for details on ticket purchase!

email: melvo86@gmail.com

msn: melvyn_lee20@hotmail.com

hp: nah.. not here. :P

Don't Forget

Don't forget about late nights
Playin' in the dark
And wakin'
Up inside my arms
You'll always be in my heart and
I can see it in your eyes you still want it so don't forget about us

I'm just speaking from experience
Nothing can compare to your first true love
So I hope this will remind you
When it's for real it's forever so don't forget about us.

-Mariah Carey (Don't Forget About Us)-

Quotable Quotes

Rockson... on Credit Cards.

"Maybe next time the bank will issue new credit card, call the Geylang Gold Fuck Card. Go Geylang no need use money, just pay by installment. Fuck 5 times, get 1 suck free. Fuck 10 times, get 1 fuck free. Fuck 20 times, can win lucky draw prize of sports car and one night free with Irene Ang the Phua Chu Kang wife (the new skinny version, not the old fat one..... actually both also bad). Hahahahahahaha!!!!"

SHEER BLISS

Jeans from Marina Square? $48

Shoes from Pedro? $63

Skinny Tie from Topman? $29

The triumphant feeling of retail therapy? Priceless.

I ITCH AND I BURN.

Oh shit. I'm feeling it. The money has come in, and I can finally scratch that itch.

I NEED TO SHOP! OH FUCK I FEEL THE ITCH AND IT'S BURNING DOWN MY SHOULDER BLADES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

*coughs politely*

On a lighter note. I need retail therapy. I'm feeling the mood. I miss having the feeling of owning something new, of wearing something no one has seen me wear/use before (and no, I'm not talking about clothes grandma bought for me!).

I miss trawling through shops, wondering which item I should buy. I miss trying on clothes, seeing how I look in the mirror with the new article on me.

Fuck I need to shop before I go nuts.

Shopping Malls, watch out. I'm going to own your ass.

An Act Of Grace

Lizards, cockroaches, and other unseemly beings deemed disgusting by me, I hereby pronounce that you have the right to life.

Just don't live near me, and I won't scream a battle cry and kill you in the process.

EGADS!

I was at Metro Century Square today when I came across this horrendous dress. I managed to coerce my friend into trying it on, and here are the results!


I covered up her face to save her embarrassment. Plus, she requested it too, with a not so hidden glint of death in her eyes.

Ook? Ook.

I don't want to make a mistake regarding you and I. I want to be sure of what I'm doing, so I don't cause any unnecessary hurt to anyone, least of all you.

I don't want to make a wrong move either. I'm just going to give myself some time to think through this really carefully.

Strangeness

My palms are all sweaty. They are slicked with sweat. It's happening on too regular a basis to be normal.

Hell, sweaty palms in an air-conditioned room?

Freaky fingers.

NOTE TO SELF

Sometime within the past few years, I realised that I was afraid of you for one reason or another.

Tonight, as Dee will know, I found out that I am also afraid of YOU. You and your violence. You and your unkind and thoughtless words. I am afraid that you will hurt me physically, because I know that it isn't impossible.

One such person in my life is enough. Maybe I don't need YOU after all. Maybe I should shed you like so much dry skin.

Perhaps I should after all. I am, the selfish one, aren't I?

Truth Hurts Even When It Wasn't Intended To

I was sitting on the throne, dispensing with business, when a thought struck me.

When people say they miss someone's presence, should it almost be an insult to you if you were standing right there, in a form of replacement for the missing person?

I've always wondered about the truth of that. I'm presently in several interest groups, and those interest groups seem to face a rather high turnover rate. Members appear and disappear like mayflies.

And sometimes, those members form some bonds before they disappear. I normally appear in the midst of such disappearances, and the need for that previous member is lost on me.

It is inevitable then, that during performances, someone will say, "Too bad (insert random name) isn't here. It just doesn't feel the same without him/her around."

The other people who had joined before me would normally go, "Yah, it just doesn't feel the same does it?"

And I, in my place as the new member, can hardly say anything can I, since I hadn't worked with the missing member before?

However, am I entitled to feel slighted here? I'm not sure, but somehow, I invariably will, and thus lose my mood for the entire performance.

Perhaps no slight was intended, and I've imagined it all, but still, it is quite cutting when you're there, and everybody misses someone else who's gone.

My theory? If you don't throw your old sneakers out, you ain't gonna get you new leather loafers.

A Sad Dream

I dreamt you spoke to me, that we had a normal conversation. This is the third time I've done that, dreaming up such a situation.

The last time you spoke to me without any anger in your voice was two years ago.

The last time I saw no hate... was two years ago.

I'm sorry I don't live up to your expectations.

I'm trying my darndest to change what I am. I'm really trying.

Please believe me.

I wish to exist in your eyes.

I wish I wouldn't be referred to only when I'm not around.

I wish I wouldn't be summoned with a grunt.

I wish I didn't perpetually feel like a criminal.

YOU WHO BE STRESSED WITH SCHOOL TAKE NOTE.

I always thought a good orgasm relieves stress.

If that's not enough, then achieve 5 good orgasms, though not necessarily consecutively. A little time space in which to calm down before getting it going again might be helpful.

Don't say this graduate student didn't offer good advice.

Zomg?

I was feeling an itch on my behind one day, and I sought to have it fixed by imitating a movie poster! Below are the results!

The actual movie poster, with Uma Thurman

And here's me, as Uma. Or Ulla, as is her character.

Quotable Quotes

My mother, proving she missed the lecture for anatomy while she was in school.

Mother: *Peers at spot on my brother's tummy.* Eh, how come got one dot here?

Me: Why?

Mother: Hand Foot Mouth Disease ah?

My Sick Brother: HFMD on my Stomach?

Imagine Imagine Imagine.

I'm told there lives a woman with the unfortunate name of "Lan Jiao".

Frequest users of hokkien swear words will realise that her name also means "penis".

Imagine the following situation then.

She's at the clinic, and the nurse goes...

"Bo Lan Jiao, Bo Lan Jiao (assuming Bo is her surname), you may see the doctor now!"

And she stands up, much to the utter amusement of every single person in the clinic.

What is she being treated for?

Goitre.

Quotable Quotes

Today was another swimming session with Kit. Here's one interesting moment while we were at it.

Kit: I need to float. Want to float with me?

Me : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOUR FATHER TIO GANGBANG BY BANGLA WORKER 8" LANJIAO! YOUR MOTHER KENA FUCK BY BIG DOG!

That's right. I've just been exposed to the colourful language Singaporeans utilise daily.

A recent study showed that more than 60% of Singaporeans generally cuss, swear and mutter dirty words like there's no tomorrow.

Fuck. Ah, I guess that makes me one of them.

In any case, I've just witnessed another case of the vulgar gamer moment. This time round, I am treated to not just vulgarities, but the names of places where they live, and strangely enough, numbers that could be a crude form of code amongst the gangsters.

(Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the gamers. They shall be known as Gangster 1, 2 and 3.

Gangster 1: Eh don't mh (please refer to my recent post on MH for a quick explanation on MH) la cheebye

Gangster 2: wtf mh? u nob* say la kp so much for wat

Gangster 1: fuk u la cheater

Gangster 2: fuk u. u buay song u come tampinese** find me la cb

(It is at this point that Gangster 3 materialises and enters the conversation)

Gangster 3: eh u 502 or 808?

Gangster 2: buay song come find lim peh lah. lim peh lan let you suck until you shiok you fuker gayboy. ur father die already still kp so much? mother kena fuck by indian

Gangster 1: fuk u la cb u racist ah?

Gangster 3: eh u 502 or 808?

Gangster 2: ya i racist cannot ah cb?

Gangster 3: eh u 502 or 808?

Gangster 2: lol i 24 la

*nob: a derivative of noob
**tampinese: possibly a derivative of tampines, a town in the eastern area of Singapore. the word bears a slight resemblence to "pekingese", a species of dog. tampinese could well be a veiled insult, meaning dog.

As mentioned, strange numbers appeared within the course of this conversation, numbers that apparently were understood by both parties.

Could this be the revelation of a code used by gangs? Or perhaps, gangs have their own postal codes for territories? This will probably go down as one of life's mysteries.

Quotable Quotes

Dee Dee (commonly known as the homo sapien subtype, Nadira), thinks the following of Celine, Mariah and Whitney.

"Mariah WHISTLES and Celine HOWLS"

"I wonder what Whitney does? Hmmm...."

-----------------------

Now I'm imagining Celine as a dog as stage howling her head off.

Roffles.

I IS TALKING BAD ENGLISH BUT I IS THINK U R CHEEBYE MOTHAFUKER CANNOT TALK GD ENGLISH OSO!


It seems that bad english is spreading rapidly like a disease amongst the male population of Singapore DotA gamers.

One however, must credit these gamers for actually aiding in the evolution of bad english. The following occurred about 15 minutes ago, throughout the entire game I was in.

**Somebody dies**
Yellow: Paper die
Yellow: Hahahahahaha

**Another fella dies again**
Yellow: Paper die
Yellow: Toilet paper die hahahaha

I asked my fellow teammates what the heck Yellow was talking about, and they told me (in broken English, no less) that this strange repetition of "paper" actually refers to the fact that the hero who dies is easily killed.

WHAT THE?!?!?!?!?!

So now "paper" and "toilet paper" also describes an easy kill? Can you imagine if some hunter in England goes fox hunting, easily catches one and shoots it, pats himself on the back and says... "Paper."

*somersaults in horror*

Also, it seems that gamers are regressing back into childhood. Well, it's entirely possible that they are kids, but I'm thinking they know too many vulgar words to be kids. Here's what they said.

Orange: You Pussy.

Brown: Pussy call who?

Orange: Call you.

Brown: Orh~ So the pussy is calling me.

Rinse, repeat.

What could be worse than literally having the blind help another blind man cross the road? The long drawn out torment of having people with abominable English mock others with an equally horrendous grasp of the language.

At least the blind people don't know what hit them.

Quotable Quotes

This just happened on MSN

Me: Kit! I FEEL SO BIMBOTIC WHAT DO I DO??

Kit: You just wait for the feeling to pass.

Kit: Haha.

**AND HERE'S THE CLINCHER**

Kit: I do that all the time.

Weird Toilet Moment #2

I was in this public toilet peeing one day, when a man rushed right into the nearest empty cubicle he could find. Obviously, Mother Nature was making an urgent phone call with the phone called "COME AND SHIT FUCKER!"

So the man rushes in, slams and locks the door, and promptly starts fumbling with his pants. I hear him crashing onto the toilet bowl, and he makes the loudest fart in the world.

PPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTT

Okay, so maybe there weren't red fonts above his head, but what the hey.

It's at this moment, when he sighs lustily, that his phone rings. Cute ringtone I must say. He picks up his phone and tells the person on the line that he's busy and to call back later. The following is a re-enactment of what happened after that. I'm just imagining what the fella on the line said, but whatever Shit Man said was not imagined.

Shit Man: Eh, call back later, I busy la.

Fella On The Line: Oh, busy ah, what you doing ah?

SM: Aiyah, I busy lah. Call back in 5 minutes can?

FOTL: What you doing sia, so busy?

SM: Busy busy lah.

FOTL: So what you doing?

**It's at this point that SM decides to lose his temper, and he yells the following into his phone**

SM: AIYAH I PANG SAI LAH!!

Maturity My Fanny.

Situation: Intense DotA match.

Problem: Map Hacking (hereinafter referred to as "MH"). For the uninformed, this is a BIG NO NO in DotA! MH, and you should be crucified.

My teammate was highly frustrated since the enemies were using MH, and hence, could see where we were at any given point of time.

He started scolding them, and this culminated with him saying, "Those who MH whole family die!"

Point of this story? You know you're old when even online, kiddos listen to thee.

Me: Eh, don't talk about parents. It's not nice.

Teammate: Oh, okay. Sry.

Random Photo Moments #3

The feeling of doing something inane sometimes can be such a satisfying feeling.

Here's the cousin being caught with white powder (heroin?!?!) all over him.

Talk about a guilty look.

Ever needed a visit Singapore poster but didn't know where to look?

Well, you're staring at one right now I think.

Random Photo Moments #2

Caught up in the midst of boredom, I decided to hunt for interesting photos I'd taken over the past year.

These are two adorable ones I've culled!

Talking to statues can be therapeutic, yes?

Don: I be mutated pussy! I cling to fences!

Weird Ass Moment Of The Day

*beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

A strange beeping sound invades the all consuming darkness in which I lay. It gradually dawns upon me that I am not dreaming up a sound, and that it is coming from somewhere, someplace.

Like a dolphin struggling to the surface for air, I struggle and swim towards consciousness in an apparent bid to discover the source of that strange noise.

I prise my eyes open a crack, and notice that my room is suffused with a dull light that does nothing for my pathetic night vision.

The first thought that enters my head is that the sound must be stopped at all costs. A thought crosses my mind: Open the box in which the handphone chargers are contained in, therein lies the source of the hate-filled chatter.

I proceed to do just that, and, while battling the strong nausea that accompanies my sudden movements towards the box, my mind realises that the sound could not possibly be emanating from the chargers. Chargers, my brain says, don't chirp merrily and mercilessly.

I panic as the incessant chirp stirs my mind into an incoherent mess.

The alarm clock, it dawns upon me! It has to be the wretched clock that's making all that noise!Where could it be? I glance around frantically, at the computer table, on the floor, everywhere.

Finally, I see it. It's staring right at me, at eye-level, smiling evilly as it whines its song of doom.

I slam a fist on it, and it stops.

Ah, blissful silence.

Shake It Off

I gotta shake it off
Cos’ the lovin’ ain’t the same
And you keep on playin’ games
Like you know I’m here to stay

I gotta shake, shake it off
Just like a calgon commercial
I really got get up outta here
An’ go some where
I gotta shake it off
Gotta make that move
find somebody who
Appreciates all the love I give

Boy I gotta shake, shake it off
Gotta do what’s best for me (uh-huh)
baby and that means I gotta Shake you off

Home Is Where The Heart Is

It suddenly occurred to me today that my parents are everything to me, despite how obnoxious they may get sometimes.

It was my grandmother's birthday today, and we were having the cake at my Godmum's place. I noted idly to myself how defensive I was towards my family.

1. They were commenting on my mum's baking; She baked the birthday cake as a present you see. I bristled at every potentially negative comment they made, and was poised to make stinging rebuttals every time they so much as frowned.

"Can't bake, please don't comment." - Stuff like that. And these remarks would have been made to my elders mind you.

2. On the way home, my mother revealed that my grandfather was yet again unhappy with us for one reason or another. I basically bitched with her.

"We don't need his inheritance, thank you very much."

----------------------------------------------------------------

It's funny how Chinese families (or maybe just mine) show support for one another.

See, during supper, I wanted to say something in such a way that would imply that I'm protective of my parents', even my dad.

What I managed to come up with was, "So what if he is having depression? It doesn't give him any right to be angry with my father what." (emphasis on "my father" present during conversation already)

What I implied was that I was protective of my parents. I wanted to find some way to tell my parents that if anyone tried to be funny with them, and I don't care if they were my relatives or if they were strangers, those people had better watch out, because their sons would always be behind them.

What I also wanted to say was that I support my dad in whatever decision he makes. The family would always be behind him.

Funny how family works sometimes. Such stuff just doesn't get past the lips.

Quotable Quote

Rockson, on the sex lives of Singaporeans.

"The only people who is not having the sex is the married couple because they kena the work pressure and cannot enjoy. Young people so free, will sure got fuck like hamster one."

I Hate Limbo

Having your fate hang in the balance is about the worse thing that can happen to anyone.

As matters stand presently, most of the fresh male graduates from polytechnics have no clue as to when they will be enlisted for National Service.

Between June and October 2006 the leaflet proudly states.

Fuck.

So I have potentially 6 months of waiting to do, or 3, or even less than that.

Because of the uncertainty, no company will want to hire me for fear of wasting their time training me only to have me report to SAF.

Because of the uncertainty, I am afraid to audition for musicals that may provide much needed exposure.

Fuck you understand? Don't keep me waiting. Give me certainty. We deserve at least that little respect.

Fuck you understand?

Weird Toilet Moments

Moment #1

Location: Century Sq 1st Floor Toilet

I ran from Starbucks at TM to this toilet, and rushed right to the urinals. At that point in time, there was one old uncle peeing, so I took the alternate urinal, as per the Rules of Man (I'll explain more about this later, if I get around to it).

As I commenced emptying my bladder, this middle aged eurasian man (hereinafter referred to as "MAEM") with a pot belly and a balding head decided to pee at the urinal between aforementioned old man and mine. Yes, the old man was still at it. Must be age. Hmm.

It was a second later when the MAEM started peering over into my urinal.

"What the fuck is going on?" I thought.

The poor bastard didn't stop looking until I glanced over at him, and he abruptly looked away. As soon as I paid him no attention again, he resumed staring at my err.. peeing.

That's when I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, that the sick MAEM bastard was bloody MASTURBATING while watching me pee!

"Get the fuck out of here!" My mind screamed.

I hurriedly forced every drop of pee out, and left the toilet after washing my hands.

(note: this did not take half an hour to occur, as it may seem. In fact, it took seconds, a minute at most)

Moment #2

Location: Tampines Mall 1st Floor toilet

Again, I was rushing there from Starbucks TM. Something about coffee and air conditioning contributes to making one pee often I believe. Must be the air. Hmm.

But anyway, I ran to the urinal once more, and this time, I was alone. Or so I thought.

Out of nowhere, this lady in a tudung stepped in. I nearly peed all over the floor in surprise. She was brandishing a mop, and was resolutely facing the floor while trying her best to clean up the rather smelly toilet.

Poor lady, I felt so guilty peeing at the urinal.

But still, it's damn weird to have a woman in the Gents. Something about the way they look just screams blasphemy. I think it's got to do with the fact that they're female. Hmm. *Ponders*

Moment #3

Location: Tampines MRT

This occurred just before I left for home. Needing the toilet for the final time, I decided to risk my health and use the toilet at the MRT.

I took the customary deep breath, and dashed in, surviving on what little oxygen I managed to retain in the moment before I entered the grimy depths of that disgusting toilet.

The floor was so slimy I nearly slipped down, and the all-pervading stench of urine filled the air. It was then I silently gave thanks to God for giving me healthy lungs for holding in oxygen while I peed.

I selected the one empty urinal and proceeded to dump my load. Wait. That sounded like I was masturbating at the urinal. Scratch that. What I meant to say was that I peed like hell. lol.

It was at some point when I noticed the middle aged ah pek beside me had his hands somewhere other than on his penis.

He was reading the Straits Times at a urinal.

Aiyah How Ah?

It's been quite a while since I found anything interesting to blog about.

No, I haven't found it in this post.

Dangerous Dangerous

Babies learn words faster than you can say "Chee Bai!"

Then they'll learn from you, and say "Pee Bai!" too.

PERSONAL DNA REPORT!!!

I am... an ATTENTIVE VISIONARY.

Ooh. How funky. It's funny how in all the tests I do, it's always got something to do with the visionary bit. Maybe these tests are true after all.

My Personal Dna Report

I'm sorry in advance.

Mummy's Boy, I am almost sorry for creating you. In the midst of thinking just what I should do with you, I realised that I was going to torture you until you'd wish someone would murder you.

Mummy's Boy, please forgive me when you get hurt later on. Please understand it was all in the nature of a show, and that I had to do what I had to do.

Sorry.

Randomised Photos

There are moments during rehearsals when people experience creative blocks. Taking photos it seems, is a pretty darn good way of overcoming that.

The three with the creative blocks, a.k.a. boredom

Err...

Genuine Happiness perhaps.

Quotable Quotes

I got this from a fellow gamer on battle.net when he wanted another gamer to prove that he was local.

"Eh, if you sg then you tell me chee bye is wad!"

The devil attacks when you're not paying attention.

In moments like this

It's at times like this when I decide to test just how high I can lift my left hand sideways.

For no apparent reason, the muscles/tendons in my left shoulder have all made some unanimous decision to seize up and cause me a great deal of annoyance.

On a plus point, I stayed home all afternoon and evening today. Oh what a good boy I am.

I almost have to, since I spent friday night clubbing, and then saturday night having a light drinking session at Fisherman's Village.

Both nights were fun in their own way. In very different ways.

And Kit, sometimes, you need to lighten up, just for fun. If you do see a cute guy, do what is within your prerogative. By this I mean you should just flirt. I promise you that nothing will come out of it, but it doesn't hurt to flirt a little does it? Besides, you do a good deed too, since you will raise the self esteem of the person you set your sights on. It's killing two birds with one stone!