Loving and Forgiving
Loving and forgiving are you oh Lord.
Slow to anger
Rich in kindness
Loving and forgiving are you.
All my being bless the Lord
Bless the holy name of God
All my being bless the Lord
Remembering the goodness of God.
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Grandchildren 2
Today the Lee family gathered at my grandparents' house for a steamboat dinner. Oh wait.
Attendance List
Grandparents
2nd Generation
My Dad, my mum.
My Uncle Owen, my aunt.
My Aunt Cynthia, my uncle.
Grandkids
Elder Bro
Me
Younger Bro
Uncle Owen's 3rd child
Uncle Owen's 4th child
Let's see, who was missing? Uncle Owen's 1st and 2nd child, and Aunt Cynthia's 2 children. And where were they? At some parties that their friends were holding. A Halloween party if I'm right.
Gee, since when did friends rule higher than family? Especially family gatherings. My parents taught us from young that you should never miss any family gatherings. Why? Because it's just not right. How do you call yourself a family if you're always missing out on all the gatherings?
Call me traditional if you wish, but I firmly believe that if you as a parent don't teach your children that, you can forget about having them beside you ever again once they leave the house.
If already they can choose to ignore family gatherings with the grandparents, grandparents who really, don't have much longer to live, then you can be sure that when their own parents are dying, they'll probably be busy holidaying in Hawaii or something.
I don't really know how to put this across, but it's really maddening that they choose not to attend. Of course, it's probably a small thing. Maybe they even find it boring to be with the rest of the extended family. But it's the bonding, the feeling of togetherness that's important. I probably sound very traditional Chinese. But it's a fact. What stays together, remains together.
Here's one evidence that they're not spending enough time as a family. My grandmother, who suffers from dementia, has already started to forget Uncle Owen's children. According to my mum, not once in recent times has she asked for them. Instead, she will always ask her husband, "Eh, Melvyn never come ah?" or Jason, or Benjamin. Incidentally, those 2 are my brothers. Already she shows signs of forgetting Uncle Owen's 3rd child, and that girl has come to my grandma's house more often than her siblings.
Another sign that my branch of the family is closest was when my grandma was admitted to A&E as she had fallen from her bed and needed 6 stitches. Once she reached CGH, she immediately asked for my mum. Not her own daughter (who was already beside her at the time), but my mum.
My grandma trusts my mother the most, and tells her all her problems. She does not do that with her own daughter, nor does she really do that with her eldest daughter-in-law.
This shows how established the bonds are with my side of the family. Every family should be like this, and not just one or two branches of it.
It just goes to show that your mere presence will register with another family member's mind. Stray off for too long, and the bonds will loosen, and stray long enough, you will be cut off.
Today the Lee family gathered at my grandparents' house for a steamboat dinner. Oh wait.
Attendance List
Grandparents
2nd Generation
My Dad, my mum.
My Uncle Owen, my aunt.
My Aunt Cynthia, my uncle.
Grandkids
Elder Bro
Me
Younger Bro
Uncle Owen's 3rd child
Uncle Owen's 4th child
Let's see, who was missing? Uncle Owen's 1st and 2nd child, and Aunt Cynthia's 2 children. And where were they? At some parties that their friends were holding. A Halloween party if I'm right.
Gee, since when did friends rule higher than family? Especially family gatherings. My parents taught us from young that you should never miss any family gatherings. Why? Because it's just not right. How do you call yourself a family if you're always missing out on all the gatherings?
Call me traditional if you wish, but I firmly believe that if you as a parent don't teach your children that, you can forget about having them beside you ever again once they leave the house.
If already they can choose to ignore family gatherings with the grandparents, grandparents who really, don't have much longer to live, then you can be sure that when their own parents are dying, they'll probably be busy holidaying in Hawaii or something.
I don't really know how to put this across, but it's really maddening that they choose not to attend. Of course, it's probably a small thing. Maybe they even find it boring to be with the rest of the extended family. But it's the bonding, the feeling of togetherness that's important. I probably sound very traditional Chinese. But it's a fact. What stays together, remains together.
Here's one evidence that they're not spending enough time as a family. My grandmother, who suffers from dementia, has already started to forget Uncle Owen's children. According to my mum, not once in recent times has she asked for them. Instead, she will always ask her husband, "Eh, Melvyn never come ah?" or Jason, or Benjamin. Incidentally, those 2 are my brothers. Already she shows signs of forgetting Uncle Owen's 3rd child, and that girl has come to my grandma's house more often than her siblings.
Another sign that my branch of the family is closest was when my grandma was admitted to A&E as she had fallen from her bed and needed 6 stitches. Once she reached CGH, she immediately asked for my mum. Not her own daughter (who was already beside her at the time), but my mum.
My grandma trusts my mother the most, and tells her all her problems. She does not do that with her own daughter, nor does she really do that with her eldest daughter-in-law.
This shows how established the bonds are with my side of the family. Every family should be like this, and not just one or two branches of it.
It just goes to show that your mere presence will register with another family member's mind. Stray off for too long, and the bonds will loosen, and stray long enough, you will be cut off.
Grandchildren
I found about why my grandmother is depressed.
When her daughter produced a granddaughter in 1995, my grandma was over the moon. Natalie (the granddaughter) became the apple of my grandmother's eye.
For the first couple of years, Natalie lived at my grandparents' house, which was a street away from her parents. She was adored by my grandparents, who stooped to no end to spoil her and love her. Whatever she wanted, she was provided with. If she did anything wrong, it was magically overlooked by Grandpa. Instead, one of the older cousins would get scolded. This made my younger brother really angry, but that's another story.
Eventually, Natalie grew up, and got influenced by silly shows like Lizze Macguire and shit like that. She became "Westernised", and decided that she didn't want to stay with my grandparents.
She moved back into her parents' house, and since then, has probably never returned to visit her grandmother at all.
My grandmother got very depressed by this fact. According to my mother, she has probably told this story about a million times already, and her doctor says that this is probably the main cause of her depression.
Imagine taking care of your grandchild for 7 years, and then one day be told by her that you can't kiss her on the cheek anymore, even though you've done so everyday for the past 7 years. Why can't you do that, you ask? Oh, because my other grandmother says cannot.
This broke my grandmother's heart. Lavishing all her love on someone who doesn't return it.
I found about why my grandmother is depressed.
When her daughter produced a granddaughter in 1995, my grandma was over the moon. Natalie (the granddaughter) became the apple of my grandmother's eye.
For the first couple of years, Natalie lived at my grandparents' house, which was a street away from her parents. She was adored by my grandparents, who stooped to no end to spoil her and love her. Whatever she wanted, she was provided with. If she did anything wrong, it was magically overlooked by Grandpa. Instead, one of the older cousins would get scolded. This made my younger brother really angry, but that's another story.
Eventually, Natalie grew up, and got influenced by silly shows like Lizze Macguire and shit like that. She became "Westernised", and decided that she didn't want to stay with my grandparents.
She moved back into her parents' house, and since then, has probably never returned to visit her grandmother at all.
My grandmother got very depressed by this fact. According to my mother, she has probably told this story about a million times already, and her doctor says that this is probably the main cause of her depression.
Imagine taking care of your grandchild for 7 years, and then one day be told by her that you can't kiss her on the cheek anymore, even though you've done so everyday for the past 7 years. Why can't you do that, you ask? Oh, because my other grandmother says cannot.
This broke my grandmother's heart. Lavishing all her love on someone who doesn't return it.
Friday, October 29, 2004
Sway
Sway, move, dance to the music...
I swayed, I swayed...
Oh, my heart swayed, my spirit swayed.
Let them stare
Let lightning strike.
Strapping on jingles
Wearing anklets
Oh, shaking I will dance, spinning I will dance.
Look sir, look at her jingling
In her eyes', look! Her lover's love is there.
In her voice, exists such authority.
In her lover's memories this heart is restless.
In the bindi of her forehead is him
In her body and mind is him
Even in her heartbeat is him
In the jingle of bracelets is him
In the jangle of anklets is him
Strapping on jingles
Wearing anklets
Oh, shaking I will dance, spinning I will dance.
She has been given the world.
She has been given happiness.
One, the flower in his arms.
The other, the dust in his footsteps.
Sway, move, dance to the music...
Sway, move, dance to the music...
I swayed, I swayed...
Oh, my heart swayed, my spirit swayed.
Let them stare
Let lightning strike.
Strapping on jingles
Wearing anklets
Oh, shaking I will dance, spinning I will dance.
Look sir, look at her jingling
In her eyes', look! Her lover's love is there.
In her voice, exists such authority.
In her lover's memories this heart is restless.
In the bindi of her forehead is him
In her body and mind is him
Even in her heartbeat is him
In the jingle of bracelets is him
In the jangle of anklets is him
Strapping on jingles
Wearing anklets
Oh, shaking I will dance, spinning I will dance.
She has been given the world.
She has been given happiness.
One, the flower in his arms.
The other, the dust in his footsteps.
Sway, move, dance to the music...
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Slain.
Whose footstep is this?
Whose shadow is this?
There! A knock on my heart, who has come here?
Upon me, who has put this lively colour?
My happiness has slain me, oh slain me.
My happiness has slain me, yes, slain me.
I did not decorate the moon upon my palm
I did not make any relationship with the stars
I did not make any accusation to God
I have hidden every sorrow
I have laughingly taken on every pain
I have even embraced thorns
And have taken wounds from flowers
Yes..but in prayer when I raise these hands
From God in prayer I asked for you, yes, for you.
My happiness has slain me
Yes, my happiness has slain me.
Whose footstep is this?
Whose shadow is this?
There! A knock on my heart, who has come here?
Whose footstep is this?
Whose shadow is this?
There! A knock on my heart, who has come here?
Upon me, who has put this lively colour?
My happiness has slain me, oh slain me.
My happiness has slain me, yes, slain me.
I did not decorate the moon upon my palm
I did not make any relationship with the stars
I did not make any accusation to God
I have hidden every sorrow
I have laughingly taken on every pain
I have even embraced thorns
And have taken wounds from flowers
Yes..but in prayer when I raise these hands
From God in prayer I asked for you, yes, for you.
My happiness has slain me
Yes, my happiness has slain me.
Whose footstep is this?
Whose shadow is this?
There! A knock on my heart, who has come here?
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Melvyn, you are Left-brained
Most left-brained people like you feel at ease in situations requiring verbal ability, attention to detail, and linear, analytical ability. Whether you know it or not, you are a much stronger written communicator than many, able to get your ideas across better than others. It's also likely that you are methodical and efficient at many things that you do. You could also be good at math, particularly algebra, which is based on very strict rules that make sense to your logical mind.
Most left-brained people like you feel at ease in situations requiring verbal ability, attention to detail, and linear, analytical ability. Whether you know it or not, you are a much stronger written communicator than many, able to get your ideas across better than others. It's also likely that you are methodical and efficient at many things that you do. You could also be good at math, particularly algebra, which is based on very strict rules that make sense to your logical mind.
Hide! Don't be seen!
That's kinda like the motto I've lived by for about 18 years. I just came to terms with that today. Kay said..."You project the aura of someone who is trying not to be noticed." And that's when I realised that, yeah, she's right.
Staying small and unnoticed meant that no one would scold me, or hit me. Yup, be small, be safe. Especially from my eldest brother. And so I survived for 18 years.
And now, I have to get rid of that.
How do I get rid of something that's kept me safe for 18 years?
That's kinda like the motto I've lived by for about 18 years. I just came to terms with that today. Kay said..."You project the aura of someone who is trying not to be noticed." And that's when I realised that, yeah, she's right.
Staying small and unnoticed meant that no one would scold me, or hit me. Yup, be small, be safe. Especially from my eldest brother. And so I survived for 18 years.
And now, I have to get rid of that.
How do I get rid of something that's kept me safe for 18 years?
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Monday, October 18, 2004
Geronimo!!!!
Official rehearsals have started for Devdas, and Amanda (Paro) had this to say to me.
"You gotta stop being shy of me!"
Point of the matter being I gotta be well, brave enough to touch her. Ha. Whoopee.
Ooh. I think I must have forgotten to mention this. There was a woman, who, back in 1990, found herself with a grand total of three children. However, a year after that, she conceived again. Have I mentioned that this woman had to undergo Caesarean Section? Thrice? That's right.
Anyway, she was over the moon, having another child. In the sixth week of her pregnancy, she went for a customary checkup with the doctor. The doctor had this to say. "The stitches on your tummy are not strong enough to withstand the pressure of your pregnancy. If the baby continues to grow, your stitches will burst."
On hearing this, the heart of the woman was shattered into a million pieces. How could she bear to destroy this fragile being slowly growing inside her? With tears forming in her eyes, she reluctantly agreed to an abortion.
Following the abortion, this woman promptly sank into depression. 13 years have passed since, and yet the effects of having to destroy her child linger, pressing its claws into her soul.
This woman, is my mother.
Official rehearsals have started for Devdas, and Amanda (Paro) had this to say to me.
"You gotta stop being shy of me!"
Point of the matter being I gotta be well, brave enough to touch her. Ha. Whoopee.
Ooh. I think I must have forgotten to mention this. There was a woman, who, back in 1990, found herself with a grand total of three children. However, a year after that, she conceived again. Have I mentioned that this woman had to undergo Caesarean Section? Thrice? That's right.
Anyway, she was over the moon, having another child. In the sixth week of her pregnancy, she went for a customary checkup with the doctor. The doctor had this to say. "The stitches on your tummy are not strong enough to withstand the pressure of your pregnancy. If the baby continues to grow, your stitches will burst."
On hearing this, the heart of the woman was shattered into a million pieces. How could she bear to destroy this fragile being slowly growing inside her? With tears forming in her eyes, she reluctantly agreed to an abortion.
Following the abortion, this woman promptly sank into depression. 13 years have passed since, and yet the effects of having to destroy her child linger, pressing its claws into her soul.
This woman, is my mother.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
Friday, October 15, 2004
Hai Yah!!
*shout* I'm blogging again! *end shout*
Or well, at least I'm blogging for this one moment after a 6 day drought. I think a lot happened.
The rehearsals for Devdas have started, and gee, even though they're just informal rehearsals, I think a lot's been done, at least, on the actor's part anyway.
My elder brother was told to go home to sleep instead of staying in camp. No beds, they said. Shit. Which actually explains my bloody drought.
And for a 6 day pent up blogging spree, shit, I seem to have nothing to say.
Azizah, the following portion is meant for you!!
Ookay. Dear Azizah, I know that in the following months, you are probably going to see little of lil' old Me, Kay and Nad. Don't despair!! Because we're not doing this on purpose. Well, Nad and I anyway. Hehe. We'll miss you like hell. I just thought I'd like to say so in advance in case I forget later on. =)
Ookay. What's next? Actually, nothing big has happened. Funny, now let's see, what in my life shall I dramatise?
I know!! Whoopee!! There's a new standing fan in my room!! Oh yes! Cool weather... here I come!
Hai Yah!!
*shout* I'm blogging again! *end shout*
Or well, at least I'm blogging for this one moment after a 6 day drought. I think a lot happened.
The rehearsals for Devdas have started, and gee, even though they're just informal rehearsals, I think a lot's been done, at least, on the actor's part anyway.
My elder brother was told to go home to sleep instead of staying in camp. No beds, they said. Shit. Which actually explains my bloody drought.
And for a 6 day pent up blogging spree, shit, I seem to have nothing to say.
Azizah, the following portion is meant for you!!
Ookay. Dear Azizah, I know that in the following months, you are probably going to see little of lil' old Me, Kay and Nad. Don't despair!! Because we're not doing this on purpose. Well, Nad and I anyway. Hehe. We'll miss you like hell. I just thought I'd like to say so in advance in case I forget later on. =)
Ookay. What's next? Actually, nothing big has happened. Funny, now let's see, what in my life shall I dramatise?
I know!! Whoopee!! There's a new standing fan in my room!! Oh yes! Cool weather... here I come!
Hai Yah!!
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Eats, shoots and leaves.
A Panda walks into a restaurant and orders bamboo for his lunch. After finishing it, he takes a out a gun, and shoots the ceiling. Then, he turns and leaves.
Just before he exits the shop, a waiter asked, "Hey! Why'd you do that for?"
The Panda takes an animal guide out of his pocket, and throws it at the stunned waiter. "Look me up!" It shouts.
The bewildered waiter thumbs through the book, and finally comes across, "Panda". He reads the description, and this is what it says.
"Panda, huge bear found only in China...
Eats, shoots and leaves."
-Taken from the book on punctuation, entitled "Eats, shoots and leaves."
Absolutely hilarious. Which brings me to my point. I was reading a couple of blogs by Singaporeans, and I was absolutely repulsed.
I didn't know our standard of English was that bad! Grammatical errors were present everywhere, and bad spelling was prevalent in every single post. Worst of all, I had to contend with SMS language, which really, isn't a language at all. It's like a simplification of English, only complicated.
Lord Help Us. Save Our English. Save Our Nation.
A Panda walks into a restaurant and orders bamboo for his lunch. After finishing it, he takes a out a gun, and shoots the ceiling. Then, he turns and leaves.
Just before he exits the shop, a waiter asked, "Hey! Why'd you do that for?"
The Panda takes an animal guide out of his pocket, and throws it at the stunned waiter. "Look me up!" It shouts.
The bewildered waiter thumbs through the book, and finally comes across, "Panda". He reads the description, and this is what it says.
"Panda, huge bear found only in China...
Eats, shoots and leaves."
-Taken from the book on punctuation, entitled "Eats, shoots and leaves."
Absolutely hilarious. Which brings me to my point. I was reading a couple of blogs by Singaporeans, and I was absolutely repulsed.
I didn't know our standard of English was that bad! Grammatical errors were present everywhere, and bad spelling was prevalent in every single post. Worst of all, I had to contend with SMS language, which really, isn't a language at all. It's like a simplification of English, only complicated.
Lord Help Us. Save Our English. Save Our Nation.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Faith is like a stone.
I watched the Exorcist with Kay and Azi today. Nad didn't come, didn't want to. Good choice as it turned out.
I thought it would turn out to be dumb, since Life! newspaper had given it a rating of 2/5. Boy are they dumb nuts.
It was freaky. Freakily scary enough that dear ol' Kabetha screamed once or twice, and that, by her standards, is a lot. I also fondly recall her holding her bag right up to her eyes. Of course, I was busy curling up my legs so my knees could hide my eyes too. It was that bad.
Ooh ooh. And halfway through the show, we started nervously laughing to each other. By-products of being high on fear I suppose.
We came out of the movie looking a little paler. Then while looking at this movie poster, somebody was walking behind Kay. She turned around, and screamed her pretty head off. Then she scuttled behind me as if I were some pillar of protection or something. Lol.
But the main point of the matter is... Faith In God. I think God has been sending me a couple of signs. I think.
The show taught me a whole lot about faith. The main character had it. Eventually anyway. And he trusted in God. Trusted in God so much, that in the face of the devil, he did not give way to fear, nor did he back down. He faced down the devil, resisted the doubt, the temptation (the devil had possessed a female, and at one point, was riding him you see), the fear.
I wish I could be like that.
I watched the Exorcist with Kay and Azi today. Nad didn't come, didn't want to. Good choice as it turned out.
I thought it would turn out to be dumb, since Life! newspaper had given it a rating of 2/5. Boy are they dumb nuts.
It was freaky. Freakily scary enough that dear ol' Kabetha screamed once or twice, and that, by her standards, is a lot. I also fondly recall her holding her bag right up to her eyes. Of course, I was busy curling up my legs so my knees could hide my eyes too. It was that bad.
Ooh ooh. And halfway through the show, we started nervously laughing to each other. By-products of being high on fear I suppose.
We came out of the movie looking a little paler. Then while looking at this movie poster, somebody was walking behind Kay. She turned around, and screamed her pretty head off. Then she scuttled behind me as if I were some pillar of protection or something. Lol.
But the main point of the matter is... Faith In God. I think God has been sending me a couple of signs. I think.
The show taught me a whole lot about faith. The main character had it. Eventually anyway. And he trusted in God. Trusted in God so much, that in the face of the devil, he did not give way to fear, nor did he back down. He faced down the devil, resisted the doubt, the temptation (the devil had possessed a female, and at one point, was riding him you see), the fear.
I wish I could be like that.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Last night on America's Next Top Model.
I found Camille extremely ugly. Maybe it's the personality that makes her ugly. I don't know.
Worse yet, Xiomara. The bug eyes. Eech. Nad is wrong. She ain't pretty.
Caity, Caitlin, Katie or whatever her name is. Sweet. Honeyish sweet. Too young.
Sara. Part Persian. Think Cleopatra.
Underdog= Shandi. She needs a better walk.
Yoanna= nasty way of speaking. Nice bone structure though. I'm talking the face.
Jenascia. Shortass. I like her eyes though.
Mercedes= She's low profile. Nothing big.
Heather= Lower yet. Un-special.
April= Nice. But not beautiful. Just nice.
Bethany= Booby. Not very nice though. She looked like those nasty cheerleader types. She had to go home. Poor thing.
I found Camille extremely ugly. Maybe it's the personality that makes her ugly. I don't know.
Worse yet, Xiomara. The bug eyes. Eech. Nad is wrong. She ain't pretty.
Caity, Caitlin, Katie or whatever her name is. Sweet. Honeyish sweet. Too young.
Sara. Part Persian. Think Cleopatra.
Underdog= Shandi. She needs a better walk.
Yoanna= nasty way of speaking. Nice bone structure though. I'm talking the face.
Jenascia. Shortass. I like her eyes though.
Mercedes= She's low profile. Nothing big.
Heather= Lower yet. Un-special.
April= Nice. But not beautiful. Just nice.
Bethany= Booby. Not very nice though. She looked like those nasty cheerleader types. She had to go home. Poor thing.
| I am the Rake A woman never quite feels desired and appreciated enough. She wants attention, but a man is too often distracted and unresponsive. The Rake is a great female fantasy-figure - when he desires a woman, brief though that moment may be, he will go to the ends of the earth for her. He may be disloyal, dishonest and amoral, but that only adds to his appeal. Stir a woman's repressed longings by adapting the Rake's mix of danger and pleasure. Symbol: Fire. The Rake burns with a desire that enflames the woman he is seducing. It is extreme, uncontrollable and dangerous. The Rake may end in hell, but the flames surrounding him often make him seem that much more desirable to women. |
What Type of Seducer are You?
created by
polite_society Monday, October 04, 2004
Er...
I've been thinking about this for a while, and people have been asking me about it too.
Am I going to go all the way with Law? To become a lawyer?
Normally, I'd just answer, "Yeah."
Logically, since I'm in the Law & Mgt course, I should continue. Duh. But then again, since JC students study things like History, Geography and Literature, does that mean they tear themselves into three equal parts and go become Historians, Geologists and whatever it is you do with Literature?
I don't know. Of course, being a lawyer is not the only light at the end of the tunnel. There are many different things I can do with my law diploma. Heck, I think I could even sign on with the Army with it. But then, any Tom, Dick and Harry can do that too.
What should I do with my Diploma? Stuff it down my throat. Lol.
**sidetrack** stupid downstairs idiot. smoke and smoke and smoke, now my whole room smells like a smoker just strolled in! **end of sidetrack**
That's right. Now where was I? Oh yes. Hmm. Maybe I should become a teacher. Lol. Maybe I should play around with this Drama business. Double Lol. Maybe I should... *gasp* become a Lawyer.
Help?
I've been thinking about this for a while, and people have been asking me about it too.
Am I going to go all the way with Law? To become a lawyer?
Normally, I'd just answer, "Yeah."
Logically, since I'm in the Law & Mgt course, I should continue. Duh. But then again, since JC students study things like History, Geography and Literature, does that mean they tear themselves into three equal parts and go become Historians, Geologists and whatever it is you do with Literature?
I don't know. Of course, being a lawyer is not the only light at the end of the tunnel. There are many different things I can do with my law diploma. Heck, I think I could even sign on with the Army with it. But then, any Tom, Dick and Harry can do that too.
What should I do with my Diploma? Stuff it down my throat. Lol.
**sidetrack** stupid downstairs idiot. smoke and smoke and smoke, now my whole room smells like a smoker just strolled in! **end of sidetrack**
That's right. Now where was I? Oh yes. Hmm. Maybe I should become a teacher. Lol. Maybe I should play around with this Drama business. Double Lol. Maybe I should... *gasp* become a Lawyer.
Help?
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