Stttrrriikkke One!

Devdas night one. It went pretty well I think. Everyone seemed to like it lots. Especially all the slapping. Hmph.

Argh. Need to shit. Blog later.

Yikes

I was praying one day, telling God all about what's happened, and how I fear that he would let me down.

Then someone told me to read this book, this particular date. Because this someone can receive msgs from God.

And here's what it said.

"You must trust to the end. You must be ready to go on trusting to the last hour... this final test must come to all who walk by faith. You must rely on me alone.... Trust and FEAR NOT."

Ooh. and another date. december 19th.

"Never let yourself fear anybody or anything. NO FEAR OF MY FAILING YOU."

so yeah. I am spooked.

I'm spinning around...

Move out of my way. Lol.

I feel dizzy.

I feel woozy.

I feel weak.

I feel my throat giving way.

I feel my nose getting clogged.

I feel my fingers twitching involuntarily.

I feel crappy.

Peng San

It seriously shocked the shit out of me. One moment I was trying to stand up, then next moment the whole world decided to overturn itself on me.

Luckily I fell on my ass though. Lol. Big fleshy cushion of mine. Thank God for thee. Hmm. The whole experience didn't last though.

I actually was hoping it would, since after all , I've never fainted before right? So yeah, this would have been the first time anything like that happened.

But, you never get what you wish, do you? Instead of a full fledged faint, I get a half assed sensation. So near yet so far.

I thank God I'm still alive though.

Communal Living

Shit. I knew I would forget something. And that's the bit about communal living. *slaps head*

See the thing is, we were all sleeping in the same dorm. And well, the guys were changing in it while the girls were around, but that's small business actually.

What was really interesting (read: strangely scary) was guys and girls using the same toilet to pee and well...poo. I found it rather strange to pee while a girl was outside brushing her teeth, etc. Lol. VERY strange.

Then the time to bathe came, and that's when I realised we were all going to bathe together. In separate cubicles of course. But still, when was the last time you were talking to a girl in the next cubicle while both of you were stark naked and showering? Better yet, you're talking about the effect cold water has on your erm...privates. And she's calmly answering back and stuff like that. Gosh.

*trembles at memory of cold water on erm..yeah.*

Yes. It was most amazing, this communal living. Doesn't get any better than that, I think.

Peace... and communal living.

For the first time in a long time, I know peace, and peace resides within me. Now I'm just waiting for it to disappear again.

On Friday the 17th, I went for my choir camp. At first, I did have my doubts about it, since I'd not heard much about its goings-on. But still, since pay already might as well go right? So went I did.

The first night, nothing much was done, but just simple hanging out with each other. Just living in the same space with each other, and watching others play CSI. CSI being holding the torchlight at your wrist, and quickly bursting into dark rooms, shining your light around. And in itself, it was pretty relaxing. Lol.

Then Fr Alex came, and at first, I was kinda afraid of him, since I'd never had a chance to really connect with a priest before. But as the camp went on, things were to change.

But anyway. Day 2. This one started pretty innocently, with morning mass at what, 730?!?! Now that one posed a problem. Lol. Everyone was trying to wake everyone else up. After I woke someone up, then I fell asleep. Repeat the cycle a few times, yeah. It was that bad. Fr Alex gave 2 talks, and we played group games. Ooh. We also played Pictionary and had a bible quiz. Grr. CLARA!!!! *poses chinese kung-fu style* Clara was a member of another group, and we had this friendly rivalry thingy going on. Quite hilarious I should say.

Then night fell. And Fr Alex conducted a session on reconciliation. Now that one was a real tear jerker. We were told to sit in the darkness, with only one tea light per person. Then, when we were ready, we were to go to the other members of the choir to reconcile and seek forgiveness. Quite Hari Raya-ish huh? Lol. First person I went to...Daphnie. Ooh, I managed to walk to her, perch on the seat beside her, and promptly overturn the chair and fall on ass. That threatened to unhinge the whole solemn mood, since everyone was laughing their asses off. But anyway. Went to Daph, did my reconciliation thingy, and promptly started weeping.

I went back to my chair, and continued doing just that. For the whole evening. I had several people come to me while I was more or less lucid, but the rest I had to chase away. After all, when you're thinking sad sad thoughts, you can't be bothered to give your forgiveness can you? So yes, I had people coming up only to have one weepy Melvo go.."Go away, I'm *sniff sniff* quite busy at the moment." My apologies to all those people. Eventually, I managed to stop. The whole weepy night thing really helped though. It helped me to totally let go for once. It helped me to find the peace I needed. It helped me to relax.

Of course, the third day had to come around, and nobody was ready to leave. I wasn't. I mean, when you've found serenity and love, why walk away from it right? At least Melvo didn't do any more crying stunts.

I did however, manage to make friends with Fr Alex. I mean, he even knows my name now, and ergh, wants me to sing for him. Haha. Heck, I even hugged Fr Alex. Yikes, like, how many times in my life have I hugged a priest? Like Zero? Duh.

I'd like to apologise here. There are of course, many bits and pieces missing from my relation of the camp tale. But you really had to be there to understand it. Stuff like

1. Justin-the-demon-crawling-baby-scotts-emulsion-advert

2. Dominic-Scott-Steiner-Bicep-Kisser

3. Dominic-prostitute-turned-pig

4. Tanya-bejewelled-bra-lover

5. Justin-muka(did I spell that right?)-fierce

Stuff like that. You had to be there to understand it and to hold those memories close to you.

Cos they're sure as hell never coming back again.

Two Words.

Confusing Conveyancing.

Those in favour, say aye.

The First Noel

The First Noel, the Angels did say
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay
In fields where they lay keeping their sheep
On a cold winter's night that was so deep.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

They looked up and saw a star
Shining in the East beyond them far
And to the earth it gave great light
And so it continued both day and night.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

Then let us all with one accord
Sing praises to our heavenly Lord
That hath made Heaven and earth of nought
And with his blood mankind has bought.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

Time Out

Oh hell. I realised that I'm a bit hard up for time right now. Maybe I made a few too many commitments without realising the times would clash.

Of course, it's too late to quit my caroling groups. After all, group A(Caroline's group) is performing this Saturday. And group B(Grace's) will perform later this month, during some days of the Christmas week.

No. I will not back out of it. Since I agreed to be a part of it, I sure as hell will remain a part of it. After all, what value does a guy have if he starts breaking promises? Nothing. (So Devdas...)

And Devdas. We've been working on this for quite some time, and finally, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. There have been a couple of times, where it seems that I'm doing this all for nothing. But then came the rehearsals that really made everyone go like..."Wow!" and suddenly, I'm enjoying myself all over again. 3 weeks. 3 weeks and it's over.

Rejoice and be merry in songs and in mirth...

Lol. Let's see if I can do as the carol says when the time comes.

It's not that I am being some diva or something, but there I some things that I have had up to my head with. Those things, are called "teaching of carols". I mean, how bad can anyone get when it comes to learning a song?

Granted, you don't have a musical education. Granted, you haven't been in the choir practically all your life. But are you really that bad? When you are taught one line, you jolly well remember it! You don't learn one line and forget previous one!!! What, did you think that your excuse of having a short term memory will save your fucking ass from being kicked? Of course, you're still young. Do you think I give a shit? If you're not going to start paying attention, you are going to be screwed just like everyone else.

And your voice. Good shit!!! How do you sing and still manage to irritate the hell out of me at the same time? How do you manage to turn a nice and sweet sounding song into something that greatly resembles the buzzing of a bee's wings? How is it that no matter how hard anyone tries to make you sound less like an engine and more like a person, you refuse to try? You always give the same excuse, "That's how I sound like." Well fuck you. That's not a fucking credible excuse!! Anyone can sound better if only they fucking try. But you won't, won't you? Cos all you know is how to be a fucking lazy worm who refuses to do anything that is fucking required of him.

And if that's not enough, there's more of your kind in this world. But they're not so bad. At least they fucking try. At least I can see that much in them. Perhaps one of them hasn't entirely broken his voice yet, so that's excusable. One of them, according to someone, is probably a little slow, so that I can understand.

But you. You are in the EXPRESS stream of a neighbourhood school. Your voice has already more or less broke, and is only going to go lower and lower. But no. You come up with more and more excuses. Can't sing high enough? That's not an excuse. Do I look like I'm complaining when I, the fucking 18 year old, am singing a part that should belong to girls and boys who are at least half my age? No. I do it, and I do it to the best of my ability, because that is my duty and requirement.

No. You are asked to sing a part that is well within your range if only you know how to use your voice. But no. You whine. Even while singing you whine the notes out. How the fuck do you do that? Have you never heard of anything called a head voice or better yet, a falsetto? Why must you keep using that fucking flat nose of your to produce sounds? Haven't I tried to show you how you can use the other facets of your voice? Hasn't Grace tried to show you anything? Don't fucking tell me that she hasn't, because she has. But you fucking refuse to listen, you fucking refuse to try.

What, are you going to say that you don't know? Because that's your excuse for everything isn't it? That's what the fucking thing called learning is for!! It's supposed to make the I don't knows fade away and disappear because you're fucking learning new things. But you fucking won't, won't you? Because you're a fucking asshole who has an excuse for everything.

Good God, when the current vice-pres asked you why you are always coming so late, I can't believe you have the gall to answer "I don't know." What shocked me even more was your nerve in justifying your latecoming by saying that you are always late anyway. What kind of a fucking justification is that? So now can I get my mum to dice you into little pieces with her chopper, because she always does that to meat anyway. That's all you are you know? You're a walking piece of fucking meat, because you don't use what you have.

Ha. Worse of all, is your fucking mouth. Don't you know how to keep your mouth shut when you have to? How the fuck did you talk about Andrew and not know he was behind you? And the best part...was when you realised that he was behind you, and you actually shrugged it off and said, "I could be talking about another Andrew?" Who the fuck is that dumb, other than you? How many other Andrews are just like the one you fucked your mouth off with? And because of your fucking little mouth, we've lost a member of the choir. Didn't think of the consequences before speaking did you, you little fucker? And another thing. Have you ever seen Dom at caroling practice? You haven't, haven't you? So why did you fucking ask him if he was fucking coming Grace's house? What if he didn't know, and would not have liked the fact that we were doing another caroling group? Didn't think about those consequences before opening your fucking mouth did you? I bet you didn't. I bet you don't even think at all. After all, empty vessels make all the noise don't they? You're just another empty vessel in this world, talking your little fucking head off its hinges.

I'm going to watch you, fucker. One more wrong thing, one more fuck up, and you're fucked.

Perils of overnighters

I spent a night at Grace's house. No...not TP Grace. Grace from church.

It started off innocously enough, on a sunday afternoon. 4pm I believe the time was. We (me, Adrian, Grace, Auntie Dot..or Miss Dotty..Phillip, Grace's brother.) were playing mahjong. I know..everyone is saying "So Ah Pek." But what the hell. As long as I enjoy the game, who cares how old I should be before I start playing. I mean, Philip is like all of 14 years of age, and he plays mahjong too. Heck, he's more into it than I am. No one's calling him an Ah pek is he? Sheesh.

But anyway. That ended about 830, and then I had to rush home for dinner, cos Mum said so. Took a shower, and left for Grace's house again, at about 930. Wasn't for mj though. Was for caroling practice. Ooh, manage to make my voice sound totally horrendous by the end of session.

Read: Incoming flu + lots of singing= hellish voice

And then it was time for more mahjong. Time: 2330. Told my parents I would stay overnight. Hell. We played a couple of rounds, stopping for toilet breaks and me munching on plain bread. Ooh, that and listening, and contributing to lots of dirty jokes, dirty puns, dirty references etc, etc, etc. Game was punctuated with Grace going "OOH!!" every now and then. She was suffering from an allergy to alcohol, and itched throughout the night, poor girl.

Come 1000am, we sorta wanted to play on, but then, we had our own things to do...so we left. For a Macdonald breakfast. Turned out that was a bad choice.

Went straight to rehearsals, with Flu in full swing. Also, I believe the long bus ride to school left me in dire need of regurgitation. Kay had to cancel rehearsals. Sorry Kay.

Went home, fixed computer, and slept. At 6pm. Woke up at 12, after having bad nightmares.

Nightmare 1: I killed my younger brother. Had to prop his body at computer to make him seem as though he was playing games, while at the same time preventing everyone from entering room.

Nightmare 2: Being chased by this group of people who could make you their puppets after staring at you. Turns out saying the Lord's Prayer gave you immunity against them. Also, Patrick and Auntie Angie (Grace's brother and mum) made an appearance. They were discussing why their family car was so crowded. Quite odd actually.

Nightmare 3: THIS HAS BEEN REMOVED TO AVOID FURTHER POTENTIALLY EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS.

Quotable Quotes

Kabetha, to MX: You can't even stand on land!

MX, to Kabetha: The land can't stand you!

LOL!

Such sorrow pervades the air...

Today was a pretty strange day. The rehearsal seemed pretty long for some reason. Shit. The tired-est (lol! new word) rehearsal. Maybe it's because the angry scene was done for like a million times. Gosh. By the half million mark, I think I was ready to die. Just sink right into the ground, and die. *dies*

But anyway. There was more in store for me. Ouch.

At about 6pm or something, we did the scene where oh yeah, Devdas wrested the keys from Kumud, but earned a slap from Mum instead. We did that scene. Twice.

That's right. I received 2 slaps from Nad. And each slap made her as guilty as hell.

The funniest thing that happened was that both of us cried. Lol. For entirely different reasons. I cried because I was feeling the emotion at the time. I was thinking...what would it be like if my mum slapped my face and chased me out of the house? She was crying because she was feeling guilty about slapping my face, I think.

And the best part? Halimah_the_Jamban telling Nad that it looked like a breakup scene instead of a mother and son scene.

Funny

Funny. I fell right to sleep while trying to play Gunbound. Lol. Didn't even realise it myself. Best part of all, I think I was practically unconscious for a couple of minutes. I suddenly woke up to find myself with my head resting on the table. Quite amusing actually.

Then I realised I was actually shaking from the exhaustion of not having slept the entire night. Lol. It's actually quite funny. Feels as if I'm some old man who's got some disease or something. Lol.

First of times

Funny. This is the first time I stayed at Nad's house. Lol. It was pretty low-key. Azi and Kay fell asleep not long after we were at Nad's house. Probably because we didn't have any activities planned. See, actually, we wanted to bake a cake for Azi, but because our rehearsal ended late, we didn't have any time to go buy the ingredients for the cake. How sad. It ended up with us at her house watching lots of TV, playing UNO, talking talking, Gunbounding, and sleeping for the three ladies. Ooh, and a little online mahjong for me. Pathetic playing I should say. Played a couple of games, won only one.

Unfortunately, I am still awake. Lol. I'm too afraid to fall asleep. Cos once I do, damn, it's going to be sleep time for a LONG time. Besides, I can always go home to sleep. Right? Yeah. Nad fell asleep not long ago, at about 730. The three of them look so peaceful. Haha. So quiet, so tired. Kay especially. Gosh, she looks like a lost little girl.

It's also the first time that someone actually washed my face for me. Nad was watching me wash my face, and then when I was done doing it, she was kinda in shock. Apparently, I don't wash my face completely enough. The upper lip part you see. I don't normally wash that part of my face. Some irrational fear of having soap up my nose kinda stops me from doing so. So Nad was like, "Let me do it!" And at 12 plus in the middle of the night, she started washing my face. Lol. Bloody funny.

Immediately after that came the next first time thingy. I used a pore pack. Now my nose is so smooth. Haha. I can't believe it! I must use it more often. Feels like fun! Lol. I wanted to play with face mask, but then, Nad's room got locked up from the inside, so only her mum could open it, since she was sleeping there. Such a pity.

Ooh. Now I can't wait to go to the nearby Macdonald's. Haha. I want to go eat Hotcakes! Or maybe a Big Breakfast! Eww. The nuggets I consumed at about erm, 4am still in my tummy though. How sad.

Haha. My voice sounds funny too. It's kinda hoarse!! So interesting! It keeps cracking too! I wonder why. So marvellous I should say. Lol.

Ah well. It's been a pretty interesting night.

The Wonder that is God

God spoke through people to talk to me again. See, I was angry with Caroline today. Reasons are unimportant.

But anyway. I was in the toilet, just before mass...when someone was singing:

Loving and forgiving are you, Oh Lord.
Slow to anger, rich in kindness
Loving and forgiving are you.

I wasn't ready to just give up being angry though. There's something about anger that's so dangerously seductive, makes you just want to remain angry and burn like some smouldering bonfire.

Then, during mass, the 2nd communion hymn turned out to be the same hymn. That was when I just burst out laughing.

And accepted the fact that anger is useless.

Wonderful Ideas

Here is a wonderful idea that my mum concocted. Apparently, it's one of those east-meets-west fusion thingys.

"Eh, why don't you mix some melted chocolate with your cup noodles? Nice you know!"

Such are my memories...they won't stop haunting me day and night.

Friday was memorable. For a good number of reasons. It was so memorable I ended up watching a pretty memorable movie to scare the pee out of my erm...pee.

Well anyway. The first memorable thing was...Devdas rehearsal. Nearing the end of the pretty lacklustre rehearsal, the Director chased everyone out of the room, leaving just the Director, Devdas, and Paro. That's where the naughty fun began. Well. Not.

Well anyway, things got so heated that erm...people started getting highly emotional. Then everyone else was allowed to come back in, and apparently, some of the audience were quite overwhelmed by the display of emotion.

Then, a subsequent scene was done, and well...it was so erm, emotional that a member of the audience ran out of the studio, coming back only after the scene was done. Other members of the audience were, well...in various states of being affected by the scene too. But then, I was not too sure what exactly happened. After all, I was the one acting anyway.

I think what happened was best summed up by something a fellow cast member said. "It is not easy for girls to simply just sit there and watch a guy break down and cry." Which might explain why one of them ran out.

In any case... That's what the rehearsals should be like! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Stupid bitch of a female, it's so easy for you to just brush off the cast and say, hmm, how did you so elegantly put it again? "Pure talent, my ass!" Of course, you can demonstrate how it should be like to display a particular facet of the character, but that's all you're doing. Demonstrating. Are you really doing it? No. Are you really feeling the emotion? No. But I am. Or did, at any rate. I tried so freaking hard, and well yeah, I did feel the bloody crushing emotion. Of course, you're going to just shrug it off now aren't you? Cos you weren't there to see how hard we tried. Cos you weren't professional enough to stay on the entire rehearsal. Cos you think that you are an outcast. Oh wait a second. You are one.

Oh shit. How did this turn into a rant? Hmm..*ponders* Yeah well anyway.

I went off to Sashi's house after that with Kay and Nad. Quite fun I should say. It was her birthday celebration, and she had invited some TP friends, some online friends, and a really primary school friend that seemed overexcited. Read: High on drugs. Yeah well anyway, we watched the Singapore Idol Results Show. Quite sad. Olinda had to go home. And then we had some marvellous chocolate cake! Gosh! It was so creamy and chocolatey!! I like!

Then Kish, Kit and D were there too. We went to watch Shutter!! Shit. That movie was pretty scary. Well, scarier than The Grudge at any rate.

Ah well. Nice ending to the wonderful day I suppose.

It is begun

Yup. The rehearsals have begun again!

On a brighter note... I'm going to Dhanya's Sister's wedding! No, that's not the bright note. The bright note is that I'm going to be wearing Indian thingys I think! Muahahahaha!

I'm wearing Indian Thingys!! Tralalalalalala

Or at least I think I'm doing so. Ha. Kay wants me to go shopping for them. Like ouch. I mean, I don't think I can afford them. Besides, if I buy ah, then it'll be like I'm wearing it for that one occasion, and then after that can keep forever and ever amen. Like totally. Shit.

I don't think I'd wear it to school. I'd attract too many stares that go.. "What the hell?". More than the usual "what the hell" stares I already get anyway. If, I do get any.

*fantasises about wearing indian thingys*

Those thingys are so light! I mean, I feel almost naked wearing them, cause they're like, erm... so thin! Not thin until see-thru, but, thin and light! They're so nice to look at! So, unique! So different from all the t-shirts and stuff. When I wear them, I feel as if I'm almost someone else!

So nice.

Quotable Quotes

Kabetha called me a gayboy. I responded by calling her a gayboy. Lol. Here's what she said in return.

"Correct what. I'm gay, and I'm a boy. It's just that I'm a girl. Correct lah."

Yikes

Oops. I realised it's been a week since I posted anything. Hmm. But then again, it's like, there really hasn't been anything to post about. I think.

Let's see. I found out a couple of things.

1. Chanting "Jiao Jiao Gu Gu Jiao" to a techno beat is very addictive. Especially when you're playing mahjong. With 2 Aunties.

2. Aunties are very fun to play mahjong with. Especially the dirty minded ones.

3. I'm shifting to Katong in a matter of like what, 3 months?

4. I might go to Holy Family Church instead. But then again...I might not.

5. My irritating ulcer has disappeared.

It's Hari Raya. Rehearsals are starting again. I don't know if I'm prepared. I'm thinking about all the various problems that have come our way. And I'm wondering, who's going to add more problems into the mix? I mean, just a couple of weeks into the rehearsal, and people have managed to make themselves very much disliked. Ha. It's almost amazing the way they almost seem to purposely put themselves into positions that would cause them to be disliked.

I was looking at Kishy's blog, and I saw that girl kissing girl picture. I was staring at it for the longest time, when I realised something.

*Moment of Epiphany*

I wasn't turned on by the picture. More than that, I found that it disgusted me. Lol.

On a more serious note, I hope I am not getting addicted to mahjong. I've played it 3 days straight. Thank God I was on a winning streak. Each night, after I play a couple of rounds, I find myself dreaming of the damn game itself. Fortunately, I haven't started thinking of it during my waking hours.

It might pose a danger to my health though. I'm still not too sure about this, but if I play it for a extended period of time, the stress it causes (from the anticipation of victory to the fear of giving the winning tile away) seems to cause my heartbeat to go out of control, thus leading to the dreaded chest pains. I hope it's unrelated though. It could be a muscle that's sore from staying in the same position for far too long.

Ah well. It's probably nothing.

You know it's good.

You know it's good when a song that you heard in your youth still has the power to touch you, even though it's been years since you've heard it.

When it evokes memories that you thought had been forgotten.

When it evokes emotions that have gone hiding under a thin veneer of indifference.

It's on again

Alert: DEVDAS IS STILL ON. HOWEVER, IT WILL BE HELD ON 29TH AND 30TH OF DECEMBER. PLEASE DO COME. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO BRING A BOOK AND TORCHLIGHT TO READ IN CASE YOU GET BORED. =)

That's right. Devdas is still on, all thanks to great persuading on the part of Kay. And Kay, it's not that I wasn't enthusiastic about it being reinstated. It's just I wasn't feeling too good, and didn't trust myself to be able to speak. Sorry ah!


Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Regret

Funny how I'm regretting it only now. I'm regretting being unable to stage Devdas. I'm regretting the fact even though it's been cancelled.

ALERT!!! DEVDAS HAS BEEN CANCELLED FOR NOW. THOSE THAT I INVITED TO WATCH, I'M SORRY. HA. MAYBE YOU CAN SAVE THAT $5 OF YOURS NOW HUH? DON'T HAVE TO WATCH ANYMORE, COS IT'S BEEN DELAYED INDEFINITELY.

All thanks to the bitch. To the bitch who stole the freaking money for her freaking self so that she can freaking buy freaking clothes. And it's not like she's poor or anything. She has the money. But she steals it anyway. Of course, she's denying it. Of course. Who would admit to stealing from friends? It's the lowest thing anyone can do. Stealing from friends. Might as well steal from God.

So now the play is over. Ha. And I just realised that I really wanted my friends to watch it. More importantly I wanted family to watch it. Most importantly, I wanted approval. I want nods of heads. I want praises. I want words of congratulations. I want all that, and more. Too bad. It's not going to be shown now is it?

Regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret regret.

Funnily enough, my actions don't really seem to show what I want. When the bad news was told to me today, I barely even reacted. Heck, I was even smiling. Easier than being disappointed I guess. Just shove every thing under the carpet, it's easier that way.

Never mind. Next holidays, here we come. Devdas will be staged.

It better be.

Dhanya!!

Wahahahahhahaa. D just reminded me of one of the funnier bits of her life.

When she was still in Hai Sing, her english teacher once said this:

"Dhanya, you're a dumb blond!!"

And in relation to that, she chose an occupation for D. She said D should be a HOUSEWIFE. Must fit in with the dumb blond persona huh D?

Wahahahahahha!

So Blah.

Another day has passed. It's exactly midnight. It's the 5th of November. Time yet marches on.

It's amazing actually, now that I look at it. To be in the Law & Management course, not only O Level results matter. Survival skills factor in too. Especially for those always in the thick of things.

Firstly, you need a mouth that spews out evil like free. By that, I mean you need to be able to bitch. Ooh, and if you feel like it, backstab.

Secondly, you need armour to fend off the shit coming out from the mouths of other people. Ore baba, you wouldn't last a day without it! Especially when some of the lecturers themselves say the nastiest of stuff.

Thirdly, you will need of course, a very good circle of friends. Without them as artillery, you wouldn't win the war. Of words, that is. Besides, they also serve another purpose, to soothe your injured skin when nasty stings and barbs are lodged in it.

Whoever said that Law was nice? Ha. People are saying that the Director is too harsh. Vadhu Vadhu, she's just being a law student. Of course, that's not to say that students from other courses aren't harsh too. They're probably not showing it, that's all.

Ore baba. Haha. Nice term. Anyway, some of us are getting quite affected by the Director's sometimes rather cutting remarks. Well, cutting to those who can't take it anyway. But then, the Resource Person is even worse when the Resource Person wants to be. But then again, they haven't really made the Resource Person angry so they wouldn't really know would they? Maybe the students/lecturers in the other courses aren't quite as sarcastically nasty.

I don't know.

Promises Promises...

*Makes promise to self*

I will be energtic during rehearsals...I will! I will!

*does orgasmic thing then starts flying..a la Peter Pan*

Solitude

Today during rehearsal, we rehearsed the part where Dev is in the train, about to die.

After that, Melvo went for mass. All Souls' Day Mass.

Seems today is filled with death. Parting.

Funnily enough, all he could think about during Mass was the word "Paro". There wasn't really a face behind those words, just Aishwarya's eyes. But mainly, it was "Paro". And that got Melvo real depressed, because he didn't like the way Devdas was feeling. Y'noe, all down and out.

So after Mass, Melvo left on his own at first, unable to take the smiling and laughter of everyone else in the choir. Funny, this doesn't happen very often. Yes, he was walking all alone along a pathway...thinking:

Solitude
Loneliness
No one around
Death
Dying alone with no one noticing
Friendless

Then Daph called, asking him to go eat with them. Melvo hung up the phone. Then for some strange reason, he found salty liquids emitting from his eyes. Melvo was quite surprised at first, since there was no trigger. It just happened. So he let it happened.

Then, he started thinking about dramatic irony. And he giggled like a maniac. Of course, that only made things worse for pathetic Melvo. Dev was really sad at losing Paro, and he didn't want to be without Paro, but yet, there was no way for him to get Paro back, because she's gone forever. Out of his life. She's just...the girl next door now, and he, the friend. And that's what Dev/Melvo couldn't take.

Of course, Melvo wrested control back after a while. And boy did he have a hard time doing that. Poor thing. He calmed down, and went to meet Daph.

And then talked to Caroline. And then cleared things up with her. And then made things all fine and dandy.

And then realised God was talking to him. No, not that Melvo is hearing things now. See, while Melvo was alone, he said to himself, "No matter how hard I try, I will always end up alone." Yes yes yes, Melvo was talking to himself, and he earned a couple of weird stares from passing joggers.

Then, while clearing things up with Carol, she said, "If one day, nobody will be there for you, I will."

And then it struck Melvo that it answered his statement. And then it struck Melvo that God said that, because God would never abandon his child.

God, thank you.

It's Scary

Working life is scary. And here we are being trained to go right out into the working world. Y'noe, even with all this preparation, I'm still highly daunted by the fact that soon, I'll be holding a job.

Gee, how do you JC students cope man? I really pity you guys man. You aren't exposed to even the slightest bit of the working environment!

Isn't it? No more playing the fool with your projects, because if you screw up, you're going to cost the company money. They're going to make losses, and you're going to be responsible for it. No more going late, cos you'll get your ass kicked.

It's all about discipline. Like what Kay said...

"I wanna go to heaven already."

Loving and Forgiving

Loving and forgiving are you oh Lord.
Slow to anger
Rich in kindness
Loving and forgiving are you.

All my being bless the Lord
Bless the holy name of God
All my being bless the Lord
Remembering the goodness of God.

Quotable Quotes

I got this from GTA: San Andreas. It's a PS2 game about gangsters.

Gangster 1: You afraid to make some money?

Gangster 2: Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Lol.

Grandchildren 2

Today the Lee family gathered at my grandparents' house for a steamboat dinner. Oh wait.

Attendance List
Grandparents

2nd Generation
My Dad, my mum.
My Uncle Owen, my aunt.
My Aunt Cynthia, my uncle.

Grandkids
Elder Bro
Me
Younger Bro
Uncle Owen's 3rd child
Uncle Owen's 4th child

Let's see, who was missing? Uncle Owen's 1st and 2nd child, and Aunt Cynthia's 2 children. And where were they? At some parties that their friends were holding. A Halloween party if I'm right.

Gee, since when did friends rule higher than family? Especially family gatherings. My parents taught us from young that you should never miss any family gatherings. Why? Because it's just not right. How do you call yourself a family if you're always missing out on all the gatherings?

Call me traditional if you wish, but I firmly believe that if you as a parent don't teach your children that, you can forget about having them beside you ever again once they leave the house.

If already they can choose to ignore family gatherings with the grandparents, grandparents who really, don't have much longer to live, then you can be sure that when their own parents are dying, they'll probably be busy holidaying in Hawaii or something.

I don't really know how to put this across, but it's really maddening that they choose not to attend. Of course, it's probably a small thing. Maybe they even find it boring to be with the rest of the extended family. But it's the bonding, the feeling of togetherness that's important. I probably sound very traditional Chinese. But it's a fact. What stays together, remains together.

Here's one evidence that they're not spending enough time as a family. My grandmother, who suffers from dementia, has already started to forget Uncle Owen's children. According to my mum, not once in recent times has she asked for them. Instead, she will always ask her husband, "Eh, Melvyn never come ah?" or Jason, or Benjamin. Incidentally, those 2 are my brothers. Already she shows signs of forgetting Uncle Owen's 3rd child, and that girl has come to my grandma's house more often than her siblings.

Another sign that my branch of the family is closest was when my grandma was admitted to A&E as she had fallen from her bed and needed 6 stitches. Once she reached CGH, she immediately asked for my mum. Not her own daughter (who was already beside her at the time), but my mum.

My grandma trusts my mother the most, and tells her all her problems. She does not do that with her own daughter, nor does she really do that with her eldest daughter-in-law.

This shows how established the bonds are with my side of the family. Every family should be like this, and not just one or two branches of it.

It just goes to show that your mere presence will register with another family member's mind. Stray off for too long, and the bonds will loosen, and stray long enough, you will be cut off.

Grandchildren

I found about why my grandmother is depressed.

When her daughter produced a granddaughter in 1995, my grandma was over the moon. Natalie (the granddaughter) became the apple of my grandmother's eye.

For the first couple of years, Natalie lived at my grandparents' house, which was a street away from her parents. She was adored by my grandparents, who stooped to no end to spoil her and love her. Whatever she wanted, she was provided with. If she did anything wrong, it was magically overlooked by Grandpa. Instead, one of the older cousins would get scolded. This made my younger brother really angry, but that's another story.

Eventually, Natalie grew up, and got influenced by silly shows like Lizze Macguire and shit like that. She became "Westernised", and decided that she didn't want to stay with my grandparents.

She moved back into her parents' house, and since then, has probably never returned to visit her grandmother at all.

My grandmother got very depressed by this fact. According to my mother, she has probably told this story about a million times already, and her doctor says that this is probably the main cause of her depression.

Imagine taking care of your grandchild for 7 years, and then one day be told by her that you can't kiss her on the cheek anymore, even though you've done so everyday for the past 7 years. Why can't you do that, you ask? Oh, because my other grandmother says cannot.

This broke my grandmother's heart. Lavishing all her love on someone who doesn't return it.

Sway

Sway, move, dance to the music...

I swayed, I swayed...
Oh, my heart swayed, my spirit swayed.

Let them stare
Let lightning strike.

Strapping on jingles
Wearing anklets
Oh, shaking I will dance, spinning I will dance.

Look sir, look at her jingling
In her eyes', look! Her lover's love is there.
In her voice, exists such authority.
In her lover's memories this heart is restless.

In the bindi of her forehead is him
In her body and mind is him
Even in her heartbeat is him
In the jingle of bracelets is him
In the jangle of anklets is him

Strapping on jingles
Wearing anklets
Oh, shaking I will dance, spinning I will dance.

She has been given the world.
She has been given happiness.

One, the flower in his arms.
The other, the dust in his footsteps.

Sway, move, dance to the music...

Ish!

I can't believe it! Lol. Why are the actors so down? We can do it. Just watch the movie people! If don't have, at least watch the clips of it!! They're damn good! Sure to fire up the imagination and the drive to continue to the end.

I'm pretty sure we can do it.

Quotable Quotes

MX, on telling Kabetha about her legs...

"Your legs aren't short, they're just stubby!"

Kabetha, on her legs.

"I have long legs ok!!"

Kabetha...

"....I am Devdas..." <-- *dies*

Quotable Quote

My mum was saying this. "Wah, I learn almost everything already, cake, loti, nyonya food..."

Then she got cut off by my father.

"Can you learn to shut up?"

ROFLMAO!!

Slain.

Whose footstep is this?
Whose shadow is this?
There! A knock on my heart, who has come here?
Upon me, who has put this lively colour?

My happiness has slain me, oh slain me.
My happiness has slain me, yes, slain me.

I did not decorate the moon upon my palm
I did not make any relationship with the stars
I did not make any accusation to God

I have hidden every sorrow
I have laughingly taken on every pain
I have even embraced thorns
And have taken wounds from flowers

Yes..but in prayer when I raise these hands
From God in prayer I asked for you, yes, for you.

My happiness has slain me
Yes, my happiness has slain me.

Whose footstep is this?
Whose shadow is this?
There! A knock on my heart, who has come here?

Melvyn, you are Left-brained

Most left-brained people like you feel at ease in situations requiring verbal ability, attention to detail, and linear, analytical ability. Whether you know it or not, you are a much stronger written communicator than many, able to get your ideas across better than others. It's also likely that you are methodical and efficient at many things that you do. You could also be good at math, particularly algebra, which is based on very strict rules that make sense to your logical mind.

Hide! Don't be seen!

That's kinda like the motto I've lived by for about 18 years. I just came to terms with that today. Kay said..."You project the aura of someone who is trying not to be noticed." And that's when I realised that, yeah, she's right.

Staying small and unnoticed meant that no one would scold me, or hit me. Yup, be small, be safe. Especially from my eldest brother. And so I survived for 18 years.

And now, I have to get rid of that.

How do I get rid of something that's kept me safe for 18 years?

Quotable Quote

I compared Kabetha (Kay) to Xena. Warrior Princess. And here's what she had to say in defense.

"Wei, Xena is lovely too ok. In a horsey way."

I'll leave you to draw your own implications on Kabetha, Xena, and Horses.

Geronimo!!!!

Official rehearsals have started for Devdas, and Amanda (Paro) had this to say to me.

"You gotta stop being shy of me!"

Point of the matter being I gotta be well, brave enough to touch her. Ha. Whoopee.

Ooh. I think I must have forgotten to mention this. There was a woman, who, back in 1990, found herself with a grand total of three children. However, a year after that, she conceived again. Have I mentioned that this woman had to undergo Caesarean Section? Thrice? That's right.

Anyway, she was over the moon, having another child. In the sixth week of her pregnancy, she went for a customary checkup with the doctor. The doctor had this to say. "The stitches on your tummy are not strong enough to withstand the pressure of your pregnancy. If the baby continues to grow, your stitches will burst."

On hearing this, the heart of the woman was shattered into a million pieces. How could she bear to destroy this fragile being slowly growing inside her? With tears forming in her eyes, she reluctantly agreed to an abortion.

Following the abortion, this woman promptly sank into depression. 13 years have passed since, and yet the effects of having to destroy her child linger, pressing its claws into her soul.

This woman, is my mother.

Quotable Quote

A close friend of mine today mentioned something totally out. Here's what she said.

"I'd do anything for money!"

Do You?

My father just said... "Melvyn, do something for the house can? You just come straight home and use the computer."

Do I really have to do something to deserve a place in the house? Is my existence in my home validated only when I have done something useful?

Hai Yah!!

*shout* I'm blogging again! *end shout*

Or well, at least I'm blogging for this one moment after a 6 day drought. I think a lot happened.

The rehearsals for Devdas have started, and gee, even though they're just informal rehearsals, I think a lot's been done, at least, on the actor's part anyway.

My elder brother was told to go home to sleep instead of staying in camp. No beds, they said. Shit. Which actually explains my bloody drought.

And for a 6 day pent up blogging spree, shit, I seem to have nothing to say.

Azizah, the following portion is meant for you!!

Ookay. Dear Azizah, I know that in the following months, you are probably going to see little of lil' old Me, Kay and Nad. Don't despair!! Because we're not doing this on purpose. Well, Nad and I anyway. Hehe. We'll miss you like hell. I just thought I'd like to say so in advance in case I forget later on. =)

Ookay. What's next? Actually, nothing big has happened. Funny, now let's see, what in my life shall I dramatise?

I know!! Whoopee!! There's a new standing fan in my room!! Oh yes! Cool weather... here I come!

Hai Yah!!

Eats, shoots and leaves.

A Panda walks into a restaurant and orders bamboo for his lunch. After finishing it, he takes a out a gun, and shoots the ceiling. Then, he turns and leaves.

Just before he exits the shop, a waiter asked, "Hey! Why'd you do that for?"

The Panda takes an animal guide out of his pocket, and throws it at the stunned waiter. "Look me up!" It shouts.

The bewildered waiter thumbs through the book, and finally comes across, "Panda". He reads the description, and this is what it says.

"Panda, huge bear found only in China...

Eats, shoots and leaves."

-Taken from the book on punctuation, entitled "Eats, shoots and leaves."

Absolutely hilarious. Which brings me to my point. I was reading a couple of blogs by Singaporeans, and I was absolutely repulsed.

I didn't know our standard of English was that bad! Grammatical errors were present everywhere, and bad spelling was prevalent in every single post. Worst of all, I had to contend with SMS language, which really, isn't a language at all. It's like a simplification of English, only complicated.

Lord Help Us. Save Our English. Save Our Nation.

Faith is like a stone.

I watched the Exorcist with Kay and Azi today. Nad didn't come, didn't want to. Good choice as it turned out.

I thought it would turn out to be dumb, since Life! newspaper had given it a rating of 2/5. Boy are they dumb nuts.

It was freaky. Freakily scary enough that dear ol' Kabetha screamed once or twice, and that, by her standards, is a lot. I also fondly recall her holding her bag right up to her eyes. Of course, I was busy curling up my legs so my knees could hide my eyes too. It was that bad.

Ooh ooh. And halfway through the show, we started nervously laughing to each other. By-products of being high on fear I suppose.

We came out of the movie looking a little paler. Then while looking at this movie poster, somebody was walking behind Kay. She turned around, and screamed her pretty head off. Then she scuttled behind me as if I were some pillar of protection or something. Lol.

But the main point of the matter is... Faith In God. I think God has been sending me a couple of signs. I think.

The show taught me a whole lot about faith. The main character had it. Eventually anyway. And he trusted in God. Trusted in God so much, that in the face of the devil, he did not give way to fear, nor did he back down. He faced down the devil, resisted the doubt, the temptation (the devil had possessed a female, and at one point, was riding him you see), the fear.

I wish I could be like that.

Last night on America's Next Top Model.

I found Camille extremely ugly. Maybe it's the personality that makes her ugly. I don't know.

Worse yet, Xiomara. The bug eyes. Eech. Nad is wrong. She ain't pretty.

Caity, Caitlin, Katie or whatever her name is. Sweet. Honeyish sweet. Too young.

Sara. Part Persian. Think Cleopatra.

Underdog= Shandi. She needs a better walk.

Yoanna= nasty way of speaking. Nice bone structure though. I'm talking the face.

Jenascia. Shortass. I like her eyes though.

Mercedes= She's low profile. Nothing big.

Heather= Lower yet. Un-special.

April= Nice. But not beautiful. Just nice.

Bethany= Booby. Not very nice though. She looked like those nasty cheerleader types. She had to go home. Poor thing.

Quotable Quotes

Mummy, on watching the show on Channel 8 at 7pm, with Huang Biren as the lead actress.

"Wah, that Huang Biren more bitter than bittergourd!"

*Mum tries to imitate the opening part of the theme song*

*She fails*

I am the Rake A woman never quite feels desired and appreciated enough. She wants attention, but a man is too often distracted and unresponsive. The Rake is a great female fantasy-figure - when he desires a woman, brief though that moment may be, he will go to the ends of the earth for her. He may be disloyal, dishonest and amoral, but that only adds to his appeal. Stir a woman's repressed longings by adapting the Rake's mix of danger and pleasure. Symbol: Fire. The Rake burns with a desire that enflames the woman he is seducing. It is extreme, uncontrollable and dangerous. The Rake may end in hell, but the flames surrounding him often make him seem that much more desirable to women.

What Type of Seducer are You?
created by polite_society

Er...

I've been thinking about this for a while, and people have been asking me about it too.

Am I going to go all the way with Law? To become a lawyer?

Normally, I'd just answer, "Yeah."

Logically, since I'm in the Law & Mgt course, I should continue. Duh. But then again, since JC students study things like History, Geography and Literature, does that mean they tear themselves into three equal parts and go become Historians, Geologists and whatever it is you do with Literature?

I don't know. Of course, being a lawyer is not the only light at the end of the tunnel. There are many different things I can do with my law diploma. Heck, I think I could even sign on with the Army with it. But then, any Tom, Dick and Harry can do that too.

What should I do with my Diploma? Stuff it down my throat. Lol.

**sidetrack** stupid downstairs idiot. smoke and smoke and smoke, now my whole room smells like a smoker just strolled in! **end of sidetrack**

That's right. Now where was I? Oh yes. Hmm. Maybe I should become a teacher. Lol. Maybe I should play around with this Drama business. Double Lol. Maybe I should... *gasp* become a Lawyer.

Help?

Quotable Quotes

Patrick, on someone having sex (I think): "Wah, wait they hardcore kamasutra type!!"

Mum, having given my 1 yr old cousin some of her kueh: "Nice? Of course la, I bake one..."

Mum, on me helping her clean the house: "Balls!"

Joss Stone

Don't Cha Wanna Ride
Sleep Like A Child
Spoiled
Fell in love with a boy
Super duper love

Wandering wonderings.

Just wondering. I don't actually know what I'm wondering though.

Just sitting still with a pretty empty mind.

Just maybe, a random thought flashing by.

Just thinking, what random thought?

Nothing Special

I watched Beyonce on Star World last night!! W00t w00t!!! She was one hot babe! Couple that with the fact that she's got THAT voice!!

got me looking so crazy right now...

Shit, the beat to that song is infectious. Hmm, reminds of Dhanya. She likes the song.

On a slightly more depressing note, I realised my brother is turning into a sloth like creature. He woke up, and immediately turned str8 to his PS2 and Pro Evolution Soccer 8. Then later on in the day, I'll have to give up my place at the computer and let him use it. Sigh...

Ah well. Beyonce is all that matters... Ha. Oh, I must watch the repeats of the show. I mean, I was watching it at around 2am? So yeah, how to turn up the volume you tell me? Had to watch it at like, minimal? Sheesh.

I need to study.

Big Feast

To celebrate my younger brother's birthday, we went to his favourite Peranakan restaurant. It's called Guan Ho Soon. Or something like that, and it's hidden deep in Katong. It's a wonder how we even found it in the first place.

Anyway, yes, he ate like a pig, and me being the jealous brother I am, decided to compete with him to see who's the better pig.

Turns out it was a draw. We each ate 4 bowls of rice each. At last count, there were a total of 14 bowls of rice on the table. Yikes.

Now I'm as stuffed as one of those thanksgiving turkeys Americans are so fond of eating.

Happy Birthday Ben!

Today is my brother's birthday. Hurray. He's 14.

All right.

It's the start of the study week. And it also spells the end of my first semester in year 2. It also announced to me that the exams are like what, next week?

On a brighter note, I went out with Kish on Friday afternoon. To Bras Basah. Sheesh. To do what? Buy TYS's. Omg. Kish, admit it. You're a nerd, geek, and a preppy asshole. =)

And dinner with Nad was quite interesting as well. Heck, the entire journey towards was interesting!

We talked, and talked, and talked, and talked. About Dramatec. Hee. We talked about Devdas. Hee. We talked about the cast of Devdas. Rather interesting dissection I think, considering how most of it came from me anyway.

Kay, you oughta come along one day... I think you might have some fun listening to the dissection. That is of course, if you don't collapse into apoplexy first. But then again, I'm sure you'd take it constructively anyway.

It is impossible, as it hath always been...

Hanker for the impossible,
and it shall consume thy soul.

Hanker for that which thou canst not have,
and thou shalt lose all those close to ye.

Hanker for that which is accursed,
and ye shalt be accursed as that which is.

Hanker for the forbidden,
and all the fair fruits of the wholesome land shalt be forbidden to ye as well.

Accursed shall ye be, yea, even unto the ends of time if thou wouldst so much as take a step towards that which is accursed.

Thou hast been warned.

Try as much as ye may...

Try as hard as you might,
things will never stay the way you want it.
Something will come along.
Something will spoil it all.

Try as hard as you wish,
destruction awaits at the end.
Torment will be unceasing.
Torture will rend your soul.

Hearken, and listen ye well...

for I'm bored. Tomorrow is the day of the French Test, and prepared I am not.

Knoweth well that thou shalt not survive the challenge which is ahead of ye if thou dost not prepare thyself for the selfsame test that hath been mentioned.

Gosh that was a pain.

How did those people of Ye Olde Englande speak without getting their tongues all turned inside out? I mean, just go ahead, try saying the above at speeds you normally speak at. Sheesh. It's bloody long.

Anyway. Hee. I shall take some time in the future to create an entire post in ye olde english. W00t.

It's The End.

Finally. All my projects are over and done with. Intolerable weeks of meetings, head cracking, report typing... all that, no more. Over and done with.

Now it's time for me to become a regular secondary school/jc student, and start studying for my exams, which just happen to be in two weeks. Luckily though, it's just 3 subbies.

1. Business Accounting 1
2. Contract Law
3. Criminal Procedure.

Of the three, I think I'm screwing up on Crim Pro, cos I never really paid much attention to it. It's one of those subjects that seem so easily forgettable. But then again, there's a lot of work to be done for it too. Looking through the stupid thick Crim Pro Code, the irritating Evidence Act, and referring to just short of a million of cases.

Eurgh.

Yeah well. Who ever said life was gonna be easy in Poly anyway? Hmph. That's some myth everyone believes I tell you. Sheesh.

Let's see. It started out with Contract Law Problem #1, a written report for Crim Pro, and an interview with a client for LComm2.

Contract took about 2 months to complete, and then we were given the next problem, drafting a contract. That took a month.

Crim Pro took about a month, and then another huge projjy was dumped onto us. It was about writing a submission to the judge. That was also recently completed and handed in.

After LComm2's interview, there were 2 other projects. Writing an opinion of a legal issue for 2 separate clients. Then after that came the last interviewing of another client, and a minute taking asignment.

So let me count. Ah, not so very much, just 9 projects, that's all. NINE BLOODY PROJECTS!!!!!

*New Addition* I just remembered I had this French projjy thingy going on, so yeah, it's TEN BLOODY PROJECTS! haha. Ooh, and due to sensitivity, ITE has been removed. Sorry Azi! *End*

To all the Uncle Fuckers out there.

Terrance: Shut your fucking face uncle fucka
You're a cock sucking ass licking uncle fucka
You're an uncle fucka, yes its true Nobody fucks uncles quite like you

Phillip: Shut your fucking face uncle fucka
You're the one that fucked your uncle, uncle fucka
You dont eat or sleep or mow the lawn,
You just fuck your uncle all day long

(farting noises)
Terrance: Hmm! (farting noises) (laughing) (farting noises)
Some Guy: What's going on here? (farting noises)

People: OOOoooooooooooooh Fucker fucker uncle fucka uncle fucka fucka fucka fucka

T & P: Shut your fucking face uncle fucka (Terrance: uncle fucka)
Terrance: You're a boner biting bastard uncle fucka
Phillip: You're an uncle fucka I must say
Terrance: Well you fucked your uncle yesterday
Everyone: (laughing)
People: Uncle fucka... thats
Everyone: U-N-C-L-E fuck you Uncle Fuckaaaaaa tonight...

Phillip: Suck my balls!

Post Number 234!!

I kept wanting to make milestone posts, like post number 100 or something. But then I kept forgetting and would post as usual, with no regard to the milestone.

So here we are. At a very nice number. 234. A milestone. Finally.

I realise it's come a long way. Almost a year already, seeing as I started Jan 1 2004. Wonderful, I'm hoping that this thingy is permanent.

Looking back at the previous posts, I see random posts that make no sense to anyone but me, angry little rants about assorted people in my life, and crappy shit like Quotable Quotes. Oh, and stuff about the mother figure in my life... my mum.

For the posts that nobody understands except me, I apologise for it. C'mon, I'm sure every now and then a little cryptic stuff is good for health right?

Ah heck. Here's to long life on my blog. Lol.

Romantic Lines

D: Well, there are times when I think of you too...

P: When?

D: Everytime I breathe.

This is it

Today= day of interviewing Mr something. What's his surname? Tan ah?

We're supposed to meet at ten. I came right on the dot. Everyone else is missing. Latha in BizPark. Emilyn and Hafeez dunno where.

I'm worried. If everyone doesn't turn up, then what, it's just me and Latha? Of course, that would probably mean an easier time giving everyone enough things to say, but then, they'll lose out on the marks!

Bleargh. I don't think I should be blogging right now, I should be looking through my interviewing notes for some kind of help or something.

Ooh. Last night, somebody knocked on my main door to the house. Thrice. Around midnight. Anyway. My dad opened the door and there was like nobody there. Obviously my mind went nuts and started thinking, "Oh shit, the biatch followed me home!"

But then, we realised that it was the neighbour thumping on the huge carpet he had hanging outside the house.

My poor mother.

Here's proof that my mother really doesn't know her fairy tales.

I was listening to a mandarin song entitled "Cinderella". And in this song, there are parts where the word "Cinderella" is used. So my mum decided to sing along too, and invent a little of her own lines that would suit the story of Cinderella so she says.

Actual Song: Cinderella...*A lot of mandarin words*

My mum: Cinderella...And I miss my Seven Dwarves.

Quotable Quote

Kabetha (Kay) on being asked to play badminton.

"How am I supposed to play when I'm bleeding like a Bloody Mary?!?!"

Great Heavens!

It's actually too damn early. 8 bloody 43 am. But hey, while waiting for Nad to haul her ass over to school, I might as well do something pseudo productive right?

Luckily, I didn't have any stupid nightmares about last night's fun events. Just some random dreams about finding too many lizards in my bedroom. That's the only one I remember. There was something about me hitting something. But maybe that's just the lizard thing.

Anyway. Yes, I'm actually pretty early for class, hence the Great Heavens title. Heck, why do my CDS start at unearthly class times? Gosh, pretty late for me to complain now, but then, since I thought of it, I might as well start.

Shit, my butt is aching. I think it's due to to the running that I did last night. Or maybe it's the badminton. I mean, Azai was making run for the shuttlecock, reason being that it kept flying to me from outside the court. So yes, *makes great big dash to hit shuttlecock so game remained in play*. Correction. *makes MANY great big dashes to hit shuttlecock*

The exams are just around the corner. I must

1) Understand Crim Pro. Hopefully.
2) Memorise Contract. I think.
3) Do well for Biz Acc. Or Sandra will go like, Law students are supposed to be expert asswipes, why are you failing your exams? *exasperated look*
4) Finish all other coursework.

There. Only 4 things to do. Of course, there's 1a, 2b, 3f, 4d. All the mini subheadings. Ergh.

Woke up with a song playing in my head. But then, it's been playing since around Sunday afternoon. From after Mass, to mahjong.

Taste and see...
Oh taste and see...
Taste and see...
The goodness of God.

Glory glory to God most high...
Glory blessing and praise.
With one voice oh people, rejoice in our God.

Get away from me.

I saw something I really shouldn't.

Walked through Pasir Ris Park with a friend. Then, we distinctly heard a woman humming away. Trouble was, we were the only ones around. So yeah, we decided to walk faster.

Then I saw something that was in standard ghostly attire, white clothes black hair...the whole deal, glide her way into a tree. That's when the both of us lost it, and decided to start running. And so we ran. Until of course, we bumped into a malay couple.

My friend stopped them, telling them there's something dirty. The guy was damn funny. He said...

"Damn, we were just about to go there and make love."

Quotable Quotes

Juliana, on stepping on grass about 2cm high: Eee, wait got anaconda hiding in the grass!!

Life, as we know it, is over.

Friends, the comedy, has ended its 10 season run in Singapore. To those who've never heard of this show, go to hell. Really, it's much better down there than being an asshole on Earth.

Need I explain it? 6 friends whose lives are intertwined with each other, having lived together for 10 years, finally have to part, practically forever.

These 6 characters, have for many, become almost real persons, and watching them leave each other, is akin to watching 6 of your closest friends leave each other. Gosh, I didn't think it'd be this heart rending to watch the last episode of the show!

The last time I was this affected by a tv show, was like never.

Gosh, it seems as if I'm writing some sort of an eulogy. But then again, it's close to doing the same thing. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S OVER!!!! NOOOOOOOO... COME BACK COME BACK!!!! I NEED YOU AS A STAPLE IN MY LIFE!!!

Lol. Withdrawal symptoms. I've been watching this show for the past years, and suddenly, my monday night 10pm slot is empty. Suddenly, I've been reft of half an hour of my tv life. Shit. I've been adversely affected by TV. I mean, it's actually influencing me!

Ah hell. If TV shows came this good, I say, let them influence me! I just wanna watch TV.

Six of my best friends have just left my life forever.

What if?

What if it doesn't work out?
What if I chicken out?
What if it's all a mistake?
What if it's not the right emotion speaking?
What if I'm deluding myself?
What if it's all a lie?

What if?

Walk Walk Walk...

Saturday evening was fun!!

Let's see. I was at Kit's family's chalet-bbq-tvwatching thingy. It was at pasir ris beach park. Or rather, at the chalets facing it.

I saw quite a number of her relatives, not including the grandmother who scared the shit out of me though.

Well anyway, it was just me, Dhanya and Kit. Gosh, I didn't know spending time with those two females were quite such fun! We took so many pictures...which I've not gotten yet. Grr. KIT!! I WANT MY PHOTOS!! =P

Yes yes yes. I can't believe I took that many photos as well! Sheesh.

Yeah well, we played lame ass card games, and Dhanya ended the OLD MAID THREE TIMES IN A ROW!! I mean, is that like clairvoyance or what?

Ooh ooh, and thanks to my smartass-ness, we got to pay pepsi cola 123. Hehehehe. I'm making everyone around me play it! Such fun! (People in church, watch out!! The game is coming your way some how!!!)

Then there was this ultra long 1 hour brisk walk around the park looking for Dhanya's boyfriend. Sheesh. From one end of the park to the other! Horrendous I tell you. Good exercise though.

*ponders at all those calories burnt up*

If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful
and If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much

Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protege and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it

Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
I've more than honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body

Ooh this could be messy
and Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

Poor profession

Again, I've been reading a book, and then erm, I read something.

The characters talking are Delada and Sparhawk.

Delada: What's the world coming to?
Sparhawk: They call it progress, my friend.
D: The world would be a better place if we hanged all the scientists and engineers, Sparhawk.
S: And the lawyers, too.
D: Oh yes, definitely the lawyers. Everybody wants to hang the lawyers

Uninvited

Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot blooded man
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepard meet shepard
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate

Stupid Library

I think the library has this secret mission to freeze every last damn soul to death. Sheesh. I mean, do you really have to use subzero temperatures just to keep the place cool? I can almost see snowflakes floating around!

Ah well. Maybe then everyone else will get lost and leave me in peace.

My stupid headphones don't seem to be working! The right side just doesn't seem to work.

I'm just doin' nothing here in the library. Aimlessly travelling around, with nothing planned. Hmm, nothing else but Choir I suppose, but then, even my attendance for that is highly suspect, since, there's always the chance that I might exercise my questionable rights and choose not to go.

I've been reading plenty of anti Catholic stuff, and it pains me to see people making such judgements of the Church.

They talk about the Mass, and say things like how it's not biblical and everything. And then they make comparisons like..

1. The mass is held in the morning, the last supper at night.
2. The mass using bread that is round and unbroken and the last supper used bread that was broken.

Stuff like that. I mean, what is the point of such immaterial differences?

It's not inherently incredible (sorry folks, had to use that term! So crim pro, I know!) to be a little different, especially when the differences are of insignificance. Don't believe me? Go check your past cases!

Silent Hill 4.

Click on the link below:

http://www.gametrailers.com/gt_vault/t_silenthill4.wmv

It'll download a trailer of the game Silent Hill 4. Watch it. Bloody freaky!! It's like one of those too damn scary Japanese movies that give people heart attacks.

*pees and shits in pants*

Yikes.

Hilarity.

I just read something a character said in a story book. The character is the leader of a religion in his country. Something like the bishop of Singapore y'noe? Yeah...and this is what he said...

"If he stops to pray one more time, I'm going to strangle him."

就是爱!

当我才发觉 就是爱 世界变了
当你在传达 你爱我 手牵着我
当我正想你 就是爱 天空晴了
当我抬起头 你在眼前了

Talk Talk Talk.

Had a long talk with Daddy-o about his constant need to label me as a proud person. Apparently I actually managed to convey the message across that calling your son a proud ass isn't exactly the best way to get his spirits up.

Then he babbled on about presenting yourself to others...blah blah blah. Then I had to continue on with crappy opinion writing. I have this strong feeling that I'm going to screw up. Totally.

Ooh. Nice sidetrack here. A new girl has joined the choir. She's called Stephanie. From Malaysia. Studying in Singapore at La Salle for a year.

Muahaha. At least now my sunday mornings are a little brighter.

There's a spark of magic in your eyes...
Candyland appears each time you smile.

Just for the record...

1. I can bitch and eat at the same time.

2. I'm a guy.

3. I'm not gay.

4. I don't love jap bread.

5. Yes I type like a bitch.

6. I don't talk without actions. I wiggle my fingers, point them here and there...you get the drift. I mean, how do you really know I NATO? NATO being No Action Talk Only. Just by reading one or two postings off my blog? That's premature judging.

7. I don't know what screen you're talking about.

Funny Bunny!

I just did something totally interesting!

I farted and sneezed at the same time!!

Bread!

I love bread. I've been eating it all my life. For breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner.

With peanut butter.
With Kaya.
With peanut butter AND kaya.
With cheese.
With sambal belachan...and the list goes on.

I don't know how people can say they don't like bread. Sounds almost like blasphemy.

Anyway, I forced Nad to watch Face with me. It's this Korean horror movie thingy about face reconstructing. And at first, the idiotic lady in white kept freaking the shit out of Nad, but then again, she enjoyed the show in the end, right Nad?

And it's confirmed. AZI!! KAY!! WE'RE WATCHING A MOVIE ON 16TH SEPT. NAD CAN TELL YOU THE TITLE. HEHEHE.

Tralalalala...

Funny. I just realised that I have nothing to say. Totally. I'm wondering something.

"Lay your head on my pillow.
Here you can be yourself.
No one has to know what you are feeling.
No one, but me and you.

Your secrets are safe with me.
Just think of me as the pages in your diary..."

Has anybody ever felt like that around me? Have I been trustworthy enough that people actually think of me as the pages in their diary, so to speak?

Or have I been a bitchy piece of shit? Too talkative to be trusted? Too much of a blabbermouth perhaps? Too much of a gossipy bugger? Not enough of a listener? Un-serious person that I am.

Point of the matter. Do people trust me?

I'm bored.

Staring at all the people around isn't much fun. Sigh. I'm all alone. Stupid Kabby had to go off and do don't know what peer appraisal. Nad isn't in school. Azai is busy yodelling in the Forests of Mount Bukit Timah. Hehehehehehehe.

OOh. Nad did something 2 days ago. She was talking talking...and suddenly she went.. "BRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!" That, by the way, was a massive burp. Muahaha

And I got accused of drinking too much alcohol and erm, taking drugs. Why? Because when I came back after church choir on wednesday, apparently I was too stoned to remember to close the gate. Wahahahaha. My mum said she found the gate wide open, and the wooden door closed. Well, at least I locked the door didn't I?

Ooh, and apparently I also left the windows wide open, an invitation to rob, me mammy says. Ah well... Luckily nobody saw my house fit to be robbed. Argh. They wouldn't have found anything of great value anyway. Sheesh. It's not like I'm some son of a great millionaire.

The son of a preacher man. Wahahahaha. No, my Dad isn't a preacher. Far from it. If he's a preacher then I'm already in priesthood, converting people by the masses, which I'm not doing.

W00t. I watched Singapore Idol. Well, I'm talking about this only because I hear girls beside me babbling on about it. One of them was like, "OLINdA got in!! I really like her voice leh." Gee, like as though she really knows anything about voice. Ergh. Stupid woman.

But Jessae (whatever the spelling is) got in!! Muahaha. She's hot! And she can sing! WWWWW0000000T! I think I'm about to start supporting a very hot laydee...muahahaha. She must win! Show all Singapore that Michael-Buble-wannabe-lesbians don't rule the world. =P Tralalala.

Alamak. They are like so bimbotic. Chinese bimbos locked up with me in a room. The ultimate in worse case scenarios. I'd just die. They'd be like, "How come this door cannort open huh? Why got people lock it one huh? aiyah, cannot like that leh. wait tonight got my show how? I want to watch leh. Oi, you listening to me anot? So bad one you."

*shudders*

I'd die if that really happened.

You are... WAIT! - you're none of the Sins you're
an Angel!Perfect, or close enough, and annoyingly so! Did
you alwaysbehave so 'just right'. ARGHHH . You can annoy the
hell outtapeople with your attitude, but no doubt your church
is real happywith you. The positive side certainly outweighs the
negative,after all, you do chores, are smart, are cute, do
charity work.Least you know what a perfect saint you are. You
just make the restof us sinners vomit. Perhaps you could break the
rules once in a while, go wild - Eat an extra
cookie or something.However - congratulations on being the most pure,
of the entire human race.

?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??

FINALLY!!!!

Omg. I've been searching for the lyrics to this damn song for so long and finally, I have found it!! Melvo triumphs!!!

用我的晚安陪你吃早餐
记得把想念存进扑满
我望着满天星在闪
听牛郎对织女说要勇敢
别怕我们在地球的两端
看我的问候骑着魔毯
飞用光速飞到你面前
要你能看到十字星有北极星作伴
少了我的手臂当枕头你习不习惯
你的望远镜望不到我北半球的孤单
太平洋的潮水跟着地球来回旋转
我会耐心地等随时欢迎你靠岸
少了我的怀抱当暖炉你习不习惯
e给你照片看不到我北半球的孤单
世界再大两颗真心就能互相取暖
想念不会偷懒我的梦通通给你保管

muahahaha.

Funny Bunny!

I can't believe this. The previous audition judge for TP Talentquest is arranging up another one of those singing competitions.

She caught me in the lift, and amazingly, she remembered me...that sweet woman. Wahaha.

Yeah well anyway, she was practically begging me to join that particular new singing competition. Lol. Amusing Amusing.

Yeah well... (funny how I keep starting paras with yeah well...) I don't know. It's on this saturday. Interesting. 28th August.

*Ponders*

Discovery discovery...

All is not what it seems.
What was once alone now is two.
Moon brings clarity.
Clarity brings startling sight.

All is not what it seems.
Deceptions are peeled back.
Layer by layer, they reveal.
Secrets are out in the open.

Fakey fake.

I just watched Stepford Wives. It's quite disturbing actually. Amusing but disturbing. Amubing. Ha! New word.

Yeah anyway... I won't tell the story I suppose, lazy to type. Suffice to say, sheesh, some men are just the biggest losers in the world!! I mean, if you don't like being subordinate, then go find another job where you can be the top. Duh!

The main point of this entry is, I learnt something from the movie. Gays have so much fun! I simply can't believe it. Coupled with Mardi Gras, it seems that being gay= being fun. Lol. What an equation.

Well anyway, I kinda thought that the gay character in the film was one of the funnest characters, along with that Bette Midler one.

They dress good, they look good, they say the smartest and funniest stuff, etc. So far, it seems that they are being depicted as characters who are liberated and have a fun life.

Of course, that could all be just Hollywood magic, but ah well... I actually think I'm jealous. Wahaha. Amusing thought, but disturbing all the same.

Amubing.

No I won't.

Lay your head on my pillow
Here you can be yourself
No one has to know what you are feeling
No one but me and you

I won't tell your secrets
Your secrets are safe with me
I will keep, your secrets
Just think of me as the pages in your diary

And only we know what is talked about
I'll be the loyalty you need, you can trust me.

Trust me.

Funny Bunny.

I know, that title keeps cropping up. But hell. I like those 2 words when they're put right next to each other. Hehe.

Yeah well. Here's something that's a little funny bunny to me. Y'noe how you surf around other people's blogs, and then you see little, or something, lengthy prayers posted.

Ever stop to wonder, does God own a computer?

I'm not trying to blaspheme or anything, and I'm certainly not laughing at those who post prayers.

I'm just wondering, when they post prayers, do they ever think something like, "I hope that He comes to read my blog soon and answer my prayer!!!"

Funny Bunny ain't it?

Total Overload.

My mum went bonkers. She came upstairs after opening the letter box downstairs. She stomped right into my room and yelled...

"MELVYN!!! YOUR PHONE BILL IS VERY HIGH THIS MONTH YOU KNOW A NOT??!!!!"

At this point in time, my heart stopped, thinking I shot up to like 300 buckeroos or something like that.

Then she said the magic words.

"IT'S 45 DOLLARS!!"

*dies*

You're Most Like The Season Summer ...
Whoa.... Passionate eh ?? Typically you're a fiery,
zesty dominant person. As the hottest season,
you certainly ooze Sex appeal. You have
confidence which draws people to you, and you
have the makings of a good leader.However sometimes your exterior is stronger then
you are and so you scare people off before they
can get close.
Well done... You're the most memorable of seasons
:)

?? Which Season Are You ??

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by

Sweet Revenge.

Muahaha. I just found out that Li Jia Wei is going to face the asshole who booted Zhang Xue Ling out. And that North Korean woman is world number 40. I think Singapore is guaranteed a medal.

Come to think of it, if Zhang had won, it would have meant that both Singaporean girls would have played each other for a place in the finals. This would mean one guaranteed medal for the winner, and one possible bronze for the loser. Argh.

The match is tomorrow at 4pm I think. Or maybe 4am. I can't remember what I heard. Funny, and I just heard it a few moments ago on the radio.

Realm Of Stupidity
I think I need to book a place there. Today, I was supposed to have LComm class at 2pm. While I was at home, I read my timetable wrongly, thinking that I was supposed to be in class at 1pm. So, at 1230, I hurriedly left home, thinking I was in deep shit. So, I TOOK A CAB!!!!! I can't believe it! I wasted so much money!!

I can't believe how dumb I was. I only realised that class wasn't starting at 1, when I logged on to www.tp.edu.sg, and then saw my timetable clearly stating, LCOMM-- 2pm.

(I'll take a leaf out of Ju's books) *Dies*

She won!!!!

Staying up tonight was totally worth it. I got to watch Singapore play table tennis!!!

Zhang Xue Ling(Sin) v. Park Myang Hin (PRK)

This match was exciting to me. There was great play from Zhang! I mean, yeah, her playing was patchy here and there, but then she fought a valiant fight, coming back from what, 2-0 down to lose 4-2?

It was only the taster of things to come.

Li Jia Wei(Sin) v. Wang Nan(Chi)

Now this was the surprising match. Either Li played so well or Wang wasn't concentrating. I mean, it was a total victory of 4-1. And Li was leading 7-0 at least twice! Wang totally wasn't in the mood for playing today. I mean, she made so many mistakes, and allowed Li to gain many, many points.

For sure, she made a hard fight gaining that one game point, but it certainly wasn't enough!!


Funnily enough, she made me want to join the table tennis association and start learning. *Ponders*

Should I?

Alien Vs Predator [2004] 1 SLR 450

Fine. So maybe there isn't such a legal case. Lol. Can you imagine the legal proceedings?

Lawyer: "I put it to you, that you impaled the brother of the plaintiff with your tail!"

Alien: "HHHHHHHHHIIIIISSSSSS!!!!" *Uses mouth inside mouth to eat the lawyer*

*Everyone cheers*

lol.

Anyway, the movie itself was AWESOME!!! Kay and Azi, I think you guys really wasted a chance to watch the best action movie yet. I mean, the fight scenes, were great!!

Sure, there were some cheesy parts, but hey?! Cheesy parts are almost a prerequisite now a days, so really, you can't blame the idiot who directs right?

And sure, maybe the plot is paper thin, but hell, who goes to watch a grand excuse for a great fight for the plot? You go there to watch for the blood! The gore! The awesome (funny, used this word twice!) scratching and the fucking scary aliens coming out of absolutely nowhere!! Aaah!!

Argh. I wanna be one of the two monsters!!

Heck, I wanna be both. Predalien. Rocks my ass! Fine. So maybe no one but me will understand what a Predalien is. Who cares?

Maybe I should watch it again. This time, at the BACK of the cinema. Instead of at the second row at the front. Haha.

Big headache coming on.

Worth the money though.

Susilo R.

Poor chap. Lost 15-10, 15-1 to the stupid Thai player. Idiot.

I mean, his country after all already has 1 or 2 gold medals, why don't lose to Singapore and let us have a shot at that elusive medal? Let a fellow ASEAN share in the glory also right? Stupid, selfish, egoistic, Thais.

Hehe. Or maybe I'm just being stupid.

Inneresting...

"...Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one 2 blame
For all the pain that life brings..."

I was just listening to this song. Bloody good lyrics I think. Yeah well, it's classic Jewel anyway. Hmm. I was just wondering then...

Is there really anything one person can do to stop all this? I see people everywhere talking about world peace (yeah right?) and others blaming others for the troubles that have come.

What then, can I do to make things better? Become the president of a huge nation and proclaim a stop to all wars? Yeah, and then the people would depose me and install in my place a new President 6 years after my term.

What I'm trying to say is, can anything one person do ever last forever? We're only human. And humans forget. They twist, they invent, they lie. What seems as a glorious vision one day turns into a prohecy of doom the next by cleverly twisting around a few words here and there.

It's like a storybook I read. What was once a Land of beauty, love and peace, got turned and twisted by an evil mind. Its people grew to believe (thru' the propaganda of the evil mind) that they were there as a punishment, and that the Land was Hell.

You see how easy it is to change people's mindsets? While all the good in this world may fight, just mere words turn all their hard work into dust and ashes.

It's a wonder how people continue to valiantly struggle.