My Entourage on the D-List

Do you watch Entourage? Oh, you do? Is it any good? Well, I don't watch it because I don't have HBO because I am a Mormon. Do you watch Kathy Griffin: My Life of the D-List? Well, you should. It is not for the easily offended, but is one of the funniest shows on television. We laugh out loud several time an episode. I had some adventures last week that were a little bit Entourage (ie. I got to follow some celebs around from a screening to an awards show) and a little bit D-List (i.e. the night ended with no awards, an un-adorned canvas tote, and a free veggie tray.)

My friends Chris and Lisa filmed a movie about 14 years ago called Stalking Santa. It was playing last night at the Utah Family Film Festival before its national release this November. We were excited to see the film, as we had been hearing about it for the last 14 years, but my expectations were only moderately high. I knew I would like it, because it is always fun to see friends on the big-screen, and Chris and Lisa are both hilarious, but I didn't think it would be amazing. My friend Eric had given it a positive review, but hadn't really raved about it, and I tend to trust his opinion of movies. But I really, really liked it. The acting was brilliant - funny, subtle, sharp and witty. The narration by William Shatner was intense. The editing was clever and kept the film moving. And it was the right mix of funny and touching. I'll admit, I was a little emotional at the end. I think it is destined to become a family Christmas classic. I'd rather watch this than It's a Wonderful Life. My favorite part is when Lisa character goes to her job at Burgers Supreme, because wouldn't you love to shoot a movie where you had to pretend to work at Burgers Supreme? I don't really want a job there, but if you are pretending to work there and cook burgers, it has to be kind of fun and I bet you get free french fries. (And according to Lisa, it was and you do.) So, do yourself a favor. This November when Stalking Santa comes out, take your family (though not your little little kids if you don't want to have a discussion about why there is a question as to whether Santa is real) and go and see this movie. I think you will have fun. And I want my friends to be the next Napoleon Dynamite.

So the screening ended and Chris and Lisa invited us to go to an Awards Ceremony with them. Our kids were with the sitter, so we though "Shure!" and we headed into the lobby - where Chris and Lisa were BOMBARDED by fans looking for autographs and making insightful insights into the movie like "You were funny." In the parking lot, we met a crazy lady who told us she loved the movie, she was glad none of us were those "crazy, lying Mormons" (What about us made her think we weren't Mormons? Was it my sleeveless shirt? And would the Utah County Family Film Festival be the place you would go to meet other angry non-Mormons?) and then gave us a half-eaten veggie tray. Chris and Amy ate some of the veggies and then caught scurvy.

The awards ceremony was awful (except the all you can eat pot stickers.) Way too long and self-congratulatory. And Chris and Lisa didn't win ANYTHING!!! There were only three awards, which took about 2 hours to give out, none of which were acting awards, but still!!! Chris totally lost it. It was pretty embarrassing. He started yelling about how he was robbed, told everyone some things that he thought they should do with their mothers, and stormed out of there. But not before I got my first official Swag Bag. Here were the contents:

Utah County Family Film Festival T-shirt: I have already worn it to the gym several times
Utah County Family Film Festival Poster: In the trash already. Do they think I am going to hang that up in my house?
Epic - cavity free kit - mouthwash, toothpaste, gum and mints: It makes the revolutionary claim that THIS toothpaste will prevent cavities!! Don't they all make that claim?
Lehi Pride Pancake Mix from Lehi Roller Mills - Yum. Footloose was filmed there, you know?
Lehman's Strawberry Preserve - Also yum. I haven't actually tasted it, but I would never say no to a free Jam or Preserve.
Wax Beads from HomeStyle - they smell good. Do I eat them?

Not a bad haul for one evenings work. And did I mention all you can eat Pot Stickers?

It was a joy. And it was fun to see my good friends on the big screen. So go see the movie. And maybe you, too, can get a free veggie tray.

Read It! The Road by Cormac McCarthy

I am adding a new feature to this blog called "Read It!" for you, my 3 or 4 faithful readers. I am a multidimensional person who not only watches TV, but also loves reading. Lately I have been reading a lot of that nerdy sci-fi fantasy stuff, which I won't recommend to the general population. (Even though there is a lot of amazing stuff out there. When you are ready to ride down the nerd slide, let me know.) But I came across a lovely title that I want to share with you.

As a point of cultural reference, the title of this feature comes from my personal past. One day I was reading through a journal that I had kept for about three weeks when I was in my early teens. One entry I had decided to list all of my "favorites" since my life was too uninteresting to write about at the time. Under "Favorite Book" I had written: "Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites by Chris Heimerdinger. READ IT!" I am not sure who I was admonishing to read it - was it future me? Or my posterity? I'm not sure. And I hope this recommendation holds a little more weight than that.

I am here to recommend The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Sure, I know, Oprah already recommended it. And sure I know, the people at Pulitzer already recommended it. But don't you care more about my opinion? I thought so.

The Road is basically the story of a man and his son. They are heading south down the road in some sort of post-apocalyptic world where there is very little food and very few survivors. They are trying to get to a warmer climate so they can survive the winter, and avoid other travelers, who will more than likely kill them to get their supplies.

It is incredibly moving and sad and awful and powerful, all at once. There were nights that I was reading it that I wanted to stay up and finish it just so it would be OVER so I could stop worrying about the man and his son. Did you see the movie Children of Men? Didn't you just want it to end so that you could have peace in your heart again? That is how I felt about this book. It was so gut-wrenchingly sad to read about a father trying to provide a life for his son in a world where your survival is at stake every day.

I think it was especially poignant because I have sons of my own. But I think anyone who is human would be touched by this story. And it is written in sparse, beautiful prose. So sparse that there are no apostrophes or quotation marks. What's up with that McCarthy? I remember that from All the Pretty Horses but why is anyone too cool for punctuation? Maybe all of the above the line punctuation marks were destroyed in the bomb blast...Who knows.

So I give this book a hearty recommendation. It is short and you will get through it in a couple of days, and you will love it. Is it as good as Heimerdinger's Opus Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites? I cannot promise that. But still, READ IT!!!

Don't do it, Billy!

Did you remember that Heroes is back on tonight? I hope this reminder didn't come too late. Remember A LONG TIME ago when we heard Heroes wasn't back until April 23rd and it seemed like an eternity away? I wondered how I would ever remember to take the trash out, as every Monday night I would say to myself "Don't be a hero. Just take the trash out." after I finished a blissful episode. And there were a few weeks where I did forget to take the trash out. Thankfully, it's back, so I don't have that concern anymore.

So I have a question for you. You like Heroes, right? Everyone in America does. But it is about superheroes, which could be seen as a little nerdy. But it is OK, because everyone is doing it. But what if you watch Battlestar Galactica? That is super nerdy, right? No questions asked. If you watch Battlestar Galactica, you are a fracking nerd. Why is that? Why is Heroes OK to discuss the next day at work, but not BG unless you work at a comic book convention or the factory where they make Nerdberry Ice Cream.

Now, what if you like Harry Potter? That's cool, right? What about if you are excited to see Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer? Pass the Nerdberries.

I love all of these things. (Except the Silver Surfer. Why is he silver? And why does he surf?) And I love long books about wizards and epics and dragons (Which my wife affectionately calls "Nerdy Books." And coincidentally, I just finished "A Feast For Crows" book 5 in George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series and it was delightful.) So I am a died in the wool, true-blue, through and through nerd. I just wonder what it is that causes one to cross the line from mainstream "Sure I like Heroes but who doesn't?" to Comicon Attendee? Your thoughts....

Where were you on Friday Night?

Were you with me, cheering on the Dillon Panthers as they took state after running a risky hook and ladder? Well you should have been. Truthfully, it happened on Wednesday night, as that is when the show airs despite its confusing title. And, truthfully, I didn't watch it on Wednesday or Friday night. I only watched it a couple of days ago, because we were behind on the Tivo and I was making a lime pound cake with raspberry sauce for a friend who was pregnant with twins. But the point is: Why are you not watching this show?

I regret that when I posted last fall about what you should be watching I neglected to mention this show. I knew it was based on the movie that was based on a book, but I hadn't seen or read the source material. I remembered that my brother Joel, who played football all through high school and college, told me that he had cried when he watched the movie. (Or did he cry at that one with James Van Der Beek? Or was the one with James Van Der Beek "Friday Night Lights?" And how do you get four names like James Van Der Beek? I really can't answer any of these.) And I also knew that I didn't really care about football, so I wasn't sure that I could care about a show about football.

So our downstairs Tivo (which we view less frequently) diligently recorded the first 7 or 8 episodes and I thought that I would either end up deleting it eventually to make room for The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, or I would watch it in the summer, for Tube Storage. (You know, those shows that you don't watch during the regular season but you watch when nothing else is on? My friend Lisa wisely calls it Tube Storage.) But we hit a bit of a TV lull in December, so we decided to watch an episode. And then another, and another. I was instantly hooked. And it has quickly climbed the list to one of my favorites shows.

The basic premise is that in small town Dillon, Texas you either play football, or you root for the local high school team, or you wish you could move out of Dillon, Texas where everyone thinks about nothing but football. The show follows Coach Eric Taylor as he tries to help the team recover from a devastating season opener where there star quarterback, Jason Street was injured and paralyzed halfway through the game.

It sounds simple enough, and it sounds like it is about football. And it is. But it is smartly written, and dramatic and funny and brilliant. If you like football, you have no reason not to watch this show. And if you don't like football, you have no reason not to watch this show. What, Wednesday nights you are too busy with Bones? Or YMYW activities? This is more important.

What makes this show so great are the amazing characters. The coach and his wife get a lot of media attention for being the only realistic portrayal of married life on TV. They love each other deeply, but they disagree and they make fun of each other, but always with an undertone of respect and none of that condescending, eye-rolling garbage you see on "Yes, Dear." But there are so many other characters to love. Like Matt Saracin, who takes over as QB1 after Street is injured. He is shy and geeky and inspiring and I want him to marry one of my unborn daughters. And Tyra, the resident bad girl, who hates football and has a slutty messed up mom but is fast friends with the coaches innocent 14 year old daughter. And Landry, Matt's nerdy best friend who plays in a death metal band and never fails to make us laugh out loud.

That sort of sounded like a Sunday School talk about the kids in my ward, but believe me: the characters are real and interesting and well acted and don't feel like they are being exploited by Hollywood. Like no one cares what kind of bag Tyra is carrying (I am looking your way Mishca Barton.) I hope when Emmy season rolls around this show gets some much deserved attention, because it is in danger of not making back next season, and I need to know if the Coach takes the job at TMU and if Tyra falls in love with Landry, and what happens with Julie and Matt. So until then: watch the reruns or get it on DVD when it comes out and set aside your Friday nights next fall. Have I ever failed you before? (OK, "The Nine" got really stupid really fast and then got canceled. Forget that one.)