Boyfriends vs. Male Friends

This is a tough situation. So you're dating this guy that you are really into. You like him, but that doesn't not change your life and how it was BEFORE you met this individual or before the level of interest changed if he was in your life already. Of course any man in their right mind KNOWS this, but they still get to tripping when it comes to your friends. I think the big Picture is TRUST.

A coo dude doesn't mind the female friends and you hanging out with them, clubs here and there bc he trusts and knows you're coming home to him, but why do they get the trippin when you have a male friend? Is there somewhere in the "guy rule book" LoL that says his girl can't have male friends (unless they're gay!!) I mean!!! I have a plenty of male friends some I am more coo with than others, so how do you deal with this. Of course who I'm dating becomes more important than my guy friends, but n e way you look at it they are still my friends.

I try to be sensitive as to how HE would feel, and no matter how I put, they seem to think that a male and female cannot just be friends regardless if he trusts you or not. How do you tell you boyfriend you wanna hang out with your guy friend (who's not gay LoL)? I don't wanna hang tough all the time with my guy friends bc i have HIM for that, but when an opportunity presents itself, how do you deal? I know how I would FEEL if the shoe was on the other foot, but I would also trust HIM in that situation. And it would put me at ease if met her, saw what kind of girl she was, and how she interacted with him. If I see no harm I don't feel threatened. This is a tough one for me... I don't believe in cutting ppl off unless the situation was serious enough to suggest that. I believe ppl are placed in your life for a reason and if it is just to be great friend (male or female) than I accept that. But how do you get your significant other to accept that? UGGHHH!! Can't we all just get along?! LoL! I need help! How should I handle this situation correctly. I need real answers from real ppl! LoL!!

♫ ♪ MUsiC 2 My EaRs ♪ ♫

Your lyrics to me, sooth me

Like sweet soliloquies

For I have never heard a sound so sweet

Melodies that resonate my ear drum

At which time my heart beats to the same beat

A Rhythmic vibration
To which my heart sings melodious harmonization

The overtones your voice speaks

Strike chords that make me knees weak

Overwhelmed with emotion that fill my eyes

Just the right tone to make them cry

Not sadly, but gladly,

Glad to be in the radius of such intoxicating euphony

Simple in its complexity, and nth in its degree

So sincere, what I hear is..

Music to my ears...

Poem by Careen Crossley

You...

You…

You…undeniably beautiful in every way
I mean, if I read the whole Webster’s dictionary, there would still be one word missing that portrays
Every aspect of your being, which is why I have a hard time believing
That you, are the embodiment of heaven, paradise on Earth
I’m so blessed to have found someone who knows my women’s worth

You…the reason I smile
Despite the number of miles
Our connection transcends the distance
Between us there’s no resistance
I’m free, free to just be me, Careen
Even though my eyes have never seen
Your physical, three dimensional
Representation of…
What has been sent from above
(Sigh) That’s my breath from me you take
That’s the impression on me you make
I close my eyes and see your face
Someone I want never to be replaced

You…everything you were, are, and will ever be
I believe you are the other half of me
I could go on and on in expression of the extra heart beat I feel for you
A miracle, a dream, and a fairytale that you have made come true
My night and shining armor, my prince
I’ve had a reason to smile since,
You blessed my live with your grandeur
You..my love, my happiness, and future







Poem Written by



Careen Crossley

ONly In AmeRicA...

Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Time...

Today I typed the word "time" on an online dictionary source and it returned 65+ definitions and instances that pertain to the word! I thought, WOW!!! I mean I know that time is really the way the world operates, but never imagined there were so many different ways to interpret time. Imagine how chaotic the world would be without the concept of time? But yet and still I serve a God who has no perception of time AT ALL!!!

It just crazy to think that everything you can possibly think of has a connection to time no matter how you look at it. Ever think about who invented time? It is said "Time was not "invented" as it does not really exist. It is a purely human mechanism for managing our lives. Outside the human framework all other organisms live "now" there is no yesterday or tomorrow in their consciousness." So now that that question is answered, the only thing to wonder is who came up with the method to measure time? AND WHY!! LMAO!!! =p How awesome it would be to live in the "now" with no "yesterday" or "tomorrow". You wouldn't have to stress "today" over a phone bill that was due "yesterday" and rent that is due "tomorrow", it would just be due when you want it to be due, you would just say "I want my phone bill to be due "now". LoL!

Think about it the world without any perception of time! I wouldn't be 23 years old, there would be no way to determine if I was old or young, because there would be no way to determine what year I was born in, and when I turned one year old from the day I was born...everything would just be! CRAZY HUH!!! time is everything in the world we live in, but there are many people who take it for granted, or waste it! those ppl are are just soaking up air, breathing, but not "living"; dead to the world and its perception of time. A quote I've used before "Time wasted is existing, used is life".

Its inevitable you can't avoid time...I watched a program on TV a couple years back on a family who decided that time to them was not important, and therefor in their minds did not exist. They realized the ultimate truth in "time" being an organization method that man has created and decided the weren't going live by something man created. That's a great Epiphany, don't get me wrong, but not when you are the 1% of the entire human race that lives this way! Whether you agree with it or not, the world as we know it will still continue to exist in its perception of time with or without you. Their live their lives mentally stress free, but reality their lives were completely chaotic!! Bills not paid on time, fired from their jobs because they were never on time, pulled their children out of school because they were against the "time" concept of being on time, house was in array, filthy! I just could not believe what I was seeing!!! The journalist's patience was running thin because these people refused to see what kind of lives they were living!!! CRAZY I KNOW!!!!! LOL!!! It almost as if when "time" was taken out of the equation out goes Priorities as well! This is a very complex topic almost hard to fathom!!!

I could not do it!!! Time is Important to me, and I hate wasting it, on anyone and anything. I know I have spent a good amount of time composing the blog, but hopefully when you take the time to read this you will see just what I mean, and take the time to think about this blog LoL!!! N e way...I think that I have spent enough time. What time is it? Lunch time!!! !!!!

"Quote for the Topic": "Time was not "invented" as it does not really exist. It is a purely human mechanism for managing our lives. Outside the human framework all other organisms live "now" there is no yesterday or tomorrow in their consciousness."

RAINY DAZE...

SOOO....its Raining here in Atlanta Georgia...been raining for the last three days.. :-( Monday was our only sunny day this week. Come to think of it, it was the same thing last week! LoL! I am not a fan of rainy days....I'm from California and I love my sunshine! Gotta have it!!! It stormed so bad last night I thought Jesus had came back!!! LOL!!! :-P It sounded like the sky was splitting open. I mean it woke me up outta my sleep!! I have a window seat at work and I've been sitting here for the past 6 1/2 hours looking out the window in a "rainy daze" on this rainy day LoL.....

The rain really makes you not want to do anything but freakin sleep. Yes I confess...I have fell asleep a few times today LoL!!! When there's rain, it seems that all nature goes into hiding and there is nothing outside to entertain you when you're at a boring job like mine LoL. Yesterday was an exception! I was so sleepy yesterday because I was up until 4 in the morning putting a dresser together I bought from Ikea, and between my nods at work I happen to look out the window and see this baby squirrel sitting on a branch. Only he was not moving! LoL! I looked more closer to see that this squirrel was dozing off to sleep like I was!!! NO JOKE!!! I promise you!!! It was so Hilarious!!! It was like watching a little kid fight sleep; they know they're tired but don't wanna go to sleep!!! so they fight the sand man to the death!!! LMAO!!! I was in tears from laughing so hard!!! But the best part came when the squirrel lost its balance from a good doze and had to catch itself from falling off the branch!!!! Priceless Humor!!!! I'm Not making this up either!!! That is something you don't see everyday! I WISH I had a video camera to catch that!!! Probably could have made some $$$$ if I had of sent it to America's Funniest Home Videos Lol!!

Yesterday was groggy but that squirrel made my day!!! LoL!!!! It made really appreciate the smalls thing in life! Rainy days suck but they really make you slow down and think about things you would not have been thinking about on a sunny day. So Rainy days aren't so bad SOMETIME....LoL!

Emotional Roller Coaster

I'm just tired.... The emotional roller coaster of dating has gotten me exhausted. Up and down, Up and Down, Up-side-down, Loopty-loop, backwards and forwards!! UUGGHHHH!!! I can't take it any more!!! I'm emotionally sick of it!! tired of wasting my time on rides that are not worth it.... its like when you pay money to go to a whack amusement park!!! You're upset afterwards because you know you could have spent that money somewhere else that was worth it!!! UGHHH!! well I'm tried of investing my time into situations that are pointless! I could have been investing that time somewhere else!!!!

I'm tired of the whole "lets see where this goes"!!! That to me as a cop out for not wanting to commit, but you wanna have your cake and eat it too. Don't pursue me ask for my number, and when we find we're compatible say "lets see where this goes"!!! UGGHHH if you scared then say that!!!! I can't stand cowards!!! I can respect you telling me your afraid more then you trying to just keep me around till YOU'RE ready! Not fair!!! There are two ppl involved here and my feelings are just as important as yours... So what do you do? Do you stay on the ride and hope that the end is better with some awesome loop and twist that will make it all worth the while, or do you get off before you are really disappointed at the end? And what if its a disappointment after? do you even want to get on the next one? what if the next time around is the same boring, unsatisfying ride that you wasted your money on yet again! how many chances do you take before you just throw in the towel and say forget it!

This is where I'm at.... A crossroad I guess. which way do I go now? Time is precious to me, and I can't afford to waste it. It kind of wears you down to think about all this at one time... You see everyone else around you getting return on there investments but what about you... These ppl are the same ppl who you have advised on how to get the best return, but yet and still you have none!!! I MEAN!!! I get sick of ppl asking me why are you single. There are some truths to saying "its by choice" but the truth is I really don't know. Is it because I have a certain standard that I want met, and I refuse to settle for less? Seems like when you are not "picky" you get "picked" over, and when you are "picky" you don't get picked! UGGHH!!! SO I'm stumped! I don't want to lower my standards, but going through the motions is killing me!! The more I think about how messed up this situation is the more angry I get! I don't want to become one of those ole bitter women that say "F*** men!!! they're all dogs" LoL!!!! I'm really trying to pull myself out of that mentality! I know I'm a great person and I deserve some one who appreciates that....but when I will get what I deserve I have no idea. Yeah, I'll admit I'm a little impatient...maybe that's because after so many unsuccessful encounters you're just ready for the real thing.

I am also an optimistic person as well, which works against me sometime. Yes I want to believe that THIS time it will be great, but when its not, its takes a piece of the optimism away with it. So you're even more of a sceptic, and even more careful the next time. This can be bad too! Because you really could have something good, but you're so busy looking for negatives to save your self from heartache, you miss out on all the positives and end up loosing out on something great. I'm not one to MAKE a guy work extra hard to get through to me, but he definitely has to prove by his actions that he's not there for alternative motives or just personal gain. Is it too much to want a guy that's wants me for me? Why does dating have to be metaphorically compared to a roller coaster? You have the most excitement when you are approaching the pinnacle of excitement and when that has came and gone so has the excitement. WHY does that have to happen? why does novelty have to wear off? WHY is it downhill after uphill? I don't know but these motions are killing me and this is where I get off till the a ride comes a long that is worth taking...I just need a break. I'm just really praying that God pull me through this one.. its weighing heavy on me and I need it to be lifted.

"Quotes for the Topic": "Time wasted is existence, used is Life", "Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event may be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us more effectively. Look for the learning" -Louisa May Alcott-

I want a "manfriend" not a "boyfriend"

Okay...this is to clear the speculation as to why women date older men..... Now I can safely say that age is nothing but a number based on my experiences. I've dated younger, same age, and older(between 25 and 30), and it really depends on the individual. Everyone has areas that they can mature in, but rather or not they have matured in the areas that will separate them from a man vs a boy and determine just HOW mature they are. I was reading this article today on mamashealth.com about "Why Some Younger Women Like Older Men" and it gave some very interesting facts, some of which I agree with based on my experiences. Maybe this insight will motivate guys who aint on their game to step it up since they now can see why some of us women make this choice....



MATURITY is the obvious reason that women date older men; from the article... "Women mature faster than men and therefore want to be with a man who is closer to them in maturity level. Women do not want to date a man who would rather play computer games then spend time with her. " Now this is the majority, but I've seen guys thirty something and STILL wanna play video games rather than pay attention to her LoL, so "to each his own". However, this is the silver lining in the whole matter. Every other reason falls under this underlying fact.

Men not boys, understand that a relationship is between two people and its not just about what they want, which makes them better listeners. This can be a great thing all around especially romantically ;-) "Older men are more experienced sexually but tend to have less of a sex drive..." I guess this can be good and bad, but at least we know that sex is not the only thing driving them...LoL "but many women find that the lovemaking with an older man is completely fulfilling to them, as older men are better at listening to the needs of a younger woman than a man their own age tends to be.", "Older men often view pleasure in a different light than younger men and are more concerned with the woman’s pleasure as opposed to their own." BINGO!!!!! LMAO!!! us women want the work we put into pleasing our men to be reciprocated, on all levels. After all relationships are not just about take, take, take, there comes a point when you have to give a lil too.

Overall older men just convey a sense of confidence in themselves (not in their assets) that is very attractive. I can't tell you how many guys with profile pictures of their money have sent me messages on myspace saying the following "hi may name is ______, I have a house, a car, I make $______ a year, never been married, no kids, blah blah...." If you come right laying out your assets to me it tells me where you confidence is, things you've acquired in life. now don't get me wrong its perfectly fine to be confident in these things but if I was interested in you I will find this things out inevitably, so the fact that this was your pick up line conveys you may not have much to offer other than your assets. Just a point I wanted to make cus I can go on and on with scenarios. but n e who, before I bore you, I just thought that this was pretty interesting article and has a lot of valid points. Here are some other reasons why women date older men:

• Older men tend to be more steadfast and stable and are generally more established and settled in their chosen careers than are younger men.
• Women like the chivalry that older men often show and they like the fact that older men tend to have more respect for them and they are polite and have manners.
• Most women want to be with men who are responsible and can stand on their own two feet and are able to support themselves and take care of themselves without their mother’s help.
• Some women, and in particular those who have an absent father, look to an older man as a type of father figure or mentor.
• A woman will receive guidance and gain more life experience from being with an older man
  

"Quote for the topic" : "It is no longer enough to be smart -- all the technological tools in the world add meaning and value only if they enhance our core values, the deepest part of our heart. Acquiring knowledge is no guarantee of practical, useful application. Wisdom implies a mature integration of appropriate knowledge, a seasoned ability to filter the inessential from the essential." -Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman-

MoRe CoRnBrEaD?????

Okay..this is intersting yet funny.... So i just had this converation with a friend of mine who gave me little insight to the "thick" vs "thin" philosophy. LMAO!!! I'm not really sure how we got on the conversation but here's how it sort of went.....

"More cornbread wouldn't hurt" coming from a guy who likes "thick" girls. LMAO!!!

The media in day-to-day televsion has some females thinking and actually believing that thin is in. I guess that's because those are they who have to be in the public eye way more than us common folk do... LoL! So we aint gonna focus on that...lets come down to the common folk level. Of cource we all know that white women have a competely different phsique or build than black women, I don't know why, we just do. LoL! So does that mean that men who are accustom to african american culture are accustom to the physique of an african american woman? What I'm saying is men who are primarily attracted to Black woman have come to appreciate the physique of a black woman vs. the physique of a white woman...and let me just go on the record by saying I'm not intentionally making this a race thing so don't get that in your head, i'm just making a comparitive annalysis based on consenses and opinions given to me. LoL! N e way back to the subject at hand.....

So what about a black woman are guys attracted to? "Thickness"? that's what i'm told...LoL thick lips, thick thighs, thick hips, and lets not forget "dunks" LMAO!!! Have these guys that are attracted to these physical traits only attracted because its the norm in their culture? You won't hear a white guy rapping about white girls with Dunks wit a bunch of white girls in the video, what do you hear them say about white girls?..."she's gotta a nice rack" LMAO!!! or "nice legs". Is that because she lacks "Thickness" LMAO!!! they can't appreciate what she doesn't have... and don't get me wrong there are white chicks with sista bootie LMAO!!

So I've been told (by male friends of course) that "thick" is different than "fat" and better than "thin". LoL!!! No "bootydo's" LMAO!!! -->that's when a females stomach stick out farther than her "booty do" LMAO!! Curves are welcomed simply because they like to have something to grab? LMAO!! OMG!! THIS IS HILARIOUS!!! but interesting... Now this is what the larger consensus says, of course " to each his own".

I had some coworkers a long time ago say to me "you be eaitin your cornbread huh?" LoL and then had the nerve to give the nickname "cornbread" LMAO!!! So knowing what they were referring to what do you think? More Cornbread? LMAO!!! "You gone eatcho conbread"? LMAO!!

" Quote for the topic" : “For women... bras, panties, bathing suits, and other stereotypical gear are visual reminders of a commercial, idealized feminine image that our real and diverse female bodies can't possibly fit. Without these visual references, each individual woman's body demands to be accepted on its own terms. We stop being comparatives. We begin to be unique.”

-Gloria Steinem-

WhAt's In iT fOr mE?

Okay I am a really caring and giving individual. If I have, and you don't, I give. If you can't, and I can, I will. That's just me! I was the only child for the first eight years of my life and its a good thing my mother taught me at a young age not to be selfish. I was never really a bratty girl, maybe a little bossy buts that's it. And that was only because I was always hanging with the grown folks all up in they biz. LoL! You know when ya mom tells you "this is "grown folk's" conversation, go play with your brother/sister". I couldn't cus it was just me! So therefore..... LoL. N e ways, I grew up being very giving even at my own expense sometime because I felt that person needed it more than I. Well here's the thing: you get tired of giving and giving, and caring if no one give a rats a** about you. I can't tell you how many times I've been s***ed on by ungrateful ppl!!!! So what do you do?

I don't believe in changing for n e one, so I take a mental note. If you keep s***ing on me, I disassociate my self from you. A lot of times with no explanation. My kindness should not be taking for granted or for a sign of weakness. ppl seem to think its okay because i don't acknowledge it at first and they think I won't but if you push me to it I will and believe me its not nice! Its so funny too cus whomever that unfortunate person is, is dumbfounded because they didn't think i could ever get that mad! LoL! I do things for ppl out of the kindness of my heart because if you do good things for ppl, good things come back to you. So now instead of just giving I have to ask myself "what's in it for me"? Not that I'm really expecting something physically in return, but if can't even feel good about doing something nice for that person for fear of them not being grateful, I definitely think twice. I hate it has to be that way but you just grow wiser with every experience and if you keep letting the same thing happen then there is something that needs to be done about it and that's how i adapt to the circumstance at hand.

"Quote for the Topic": There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone else. -Peyton Conway March-

Is iT tOo mUch tO aSk??????

Is it too much to ask for ppl to just be real?

Is it too much to ask for your honesty and how you really feel?

Don't sugar coat s#%*$ just give me the truth!

Cus its fa sho I aint sugar coatin s#%*$ for you!

Hurt my feelings please! By all means!

I'll appreciate it later once the pain has eased

And don't be going behind my back telling everyone else what you think

If you gotta a problem with me then you should be tellin ME!! Is that too much to ask? I don't think so

Here's how I see it...

No one wants fake gold, they want what's bona fide

They'll invest because in its authenticity they confide

The fake ish will tarnish and be thrown away

And they won't think twice about the decision made

So it goes to say fake alliances tarnish and get thrown to the wind

I only deal wit ppl who know the definition of friend

If you aint got a clue then you can kick rocks!

Cus aint no vacancies for fakers on my block!

Whew! I say all that to say this one thing....

Just keep it 100% with me

Is this too much to ask?

EveR WoNDeR.........

Why people go to McDonalds, get everything SUPERSIZED and then order a "diet" coke?

Why Smurfette was the only female smurf on the late 80's/early 90's cartoon?

Why the time of the day with the slowest traffic is called "rush hour"?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

If "love doesn't cost a thing" then why do peoples' hearts get broken at its expense?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If vegetarians eat animal crakers? LoL!

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Who really has the time to come with all these "Ever Wonders"?

MANN!!!! I was really bored!!! LMAO!!!!

LAZINESS!!!!

Okay this is REALLY starting to PISS ME OFF TO THE HIGHEST OF PISTIVITY!!!!! Maybe someone can help me shed some light on this situation... and by the way I'm not bashing all guys cus i believe there are some good ones out there, but if the shoe fits.....

Okay so i started talking to this guy and everything was going good, well actually great! We went out, talked on the phone a lot, and we clicked like immediately. He had all his "ducks in a row" and seemed to be a good guy, and possessed a lot of good qualities. I did make the first move and inquired about him and from there He was really intrigued be me and made most of the efforts. maybe i was a little naive to really see why he made all the efforts!! LoL! But n e way, so he comes over to my house to kick and tries me..... HOLD ON! PUMP THE BREAKS!!! I'm very affectionate and don't mind showing it, but i think he really might of thought i inquired about him because i wanted sex..... WRONG!! so nothing went down and after that he stop puttin in the work he was before that night..... LAZINESS!!!

Why is it that guys don't wanna put in work? especially if its worth it? I don't know what he has been used to with females, but I'm not your "cookie cutter female"! I don't give away freebies, I respect my self enough to know that everything that i have to offer is valuable and will not just be "given" away... i guess guys just think all females are easy and by the time they encounter me and find out that they're wrong, their little "egos" are hurt and they get to acting funny and flaky to save face! What's up with that!? Its annoying!! When do guys stop wanting just to "fling" with someone and want something with value and substance? When do they grow up and realize that there is more to relationships than JUST SEX! I need clarification!!!! I'm Too analytical and have tried to figure out why this is! Is my speculation to what happened even accurate? Who knows? But for now...its just makes sense! LAZINESS is what describes this!
~*Careen*~

"Quote for the topic": "Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired."
-Edgar Bergen-

MIND YOURS!!!

Okay...I may be a little late to the "blogger" society but i hope i'm welcomed with open arms! LoL! N e way...i Figured it would be a good pass time since i'm at work in the corporate world for 8 hours a day...and if your job is not that exciting like mine is, anything to make your day go by faster is great! So uuummm yeah i work in a call center at this insurance company where all i have to do is wait for calls, collect info and transfer calls to insurance agents. Yeah Not exciting at all...LoL. The only action i get is when ppl have the audacity to cuss me out when i call, but i wouldn't have their info in the first placed if their dumb a#%*! hadn't of put it on the "WORLD WIDE WEB!!! LMAO!! but but other wise seeing as though not much goes into the workload here people seem to have nothing better to than to be in everyone else's business...or having something to gossip about. Its that way with n e call center... N e time some1 gets fired its the gossip for the week...N e time two ppl hook up...its the talk of the day.... PEOPLE!!! GET A LIFE!!! MIND YOURS!!! the sad thing is these are ppl that are 24-50-something years of age! I worked in a call center before a few years ago and made the mistake of dating some in the office. Although my business wasn't on the streets...it still sucks that you have to see that person when things don't work out...so its safe to say "i don't date co-workers"....the reason being its a whole other blog in itself. I think ppl should just come to work and do their job and not be concerned with all the hoopla in the office... But n e ways...just some thoughts since I'm here till 7:30 this evening UGH!!! LoL!!! ~*Careen*~

Quote for the topic:......A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought. There is a visible labor and there is an invisible labor...... -Victor Hugo-