Are you happy? Or are you satisfied?
Saturday, March 2, 2019
Friday, February 15, 2019
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fkne
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fkne
I'm dine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm finim
I'm fine
In fime
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine
I'm fine.
Joon you can fking do it.
You pulled through once you could pull it through agaib.
I'm fine.
Thursday, February 14, 2019
K.
Third time nose bled in the last 24 hours.
Dayum, really like some more than blues shit lol.
Am I K?! 😱
Nah definitely not. Atleast cream loved K.
Fuck K. I'm jealous of him hahaha.
Side note: it's Valentine's today :')
Sure I have plans and shit but. Fuck man, still can't get over her. We haven't talk for almost a week and meet for close to a month already.. She's probably always occupied with other guys. Or THE guy.
Whatever. This is the response I have for her:
K.
Thursday, January 31, 2019
Let it out
Sometimes I just feel like screaming at the top of my lung, shouting and let out all my emotions, let all the built up stress, guilt, regrets, and frustration escape. It is so hard to bottle all up and act like nothing is going on. Idw anyone to see me in my down state. But it's so hard to maintain. I really need to breakdown. If I do it anywhere in Singapore, someone will probably. Call the police though. Lol.
I'm so scared. Afraid that she'll say 'I think I shouldn't go over'. That'd be the end. I'll probably go crazy, and end it right there and then. Tmr is the decision day. This is too much fof me to handle...
Monday, January 28, 2019
Q
I never understood why isit called heart 'ache'. Does it aches like muscle sore? How did the expression even came about? Now I fully understand.
My heart aches so badly that I have difficulty breathing. It's not even a figure of speech. It literally aches and hurts so fking badly.
A bad career choice is totally not helping too..
I'm so miserable that at my age I still can't give my parents allowance. And my mum's going to need an operation soon again...
Sunday, January 27, 2019
Walk Away
You made me learn to love again
And you made me remember again that it's so so so scary to love someone.
When I touch your face I could tell you're moving on.
But it's not the fact that you kissed him ytd,
It's the feeling of betrayal that I just can't seem to shake.
Tell me I should walk away, but I just wanna stay.
I know you love her but it's over mate.
It doesn't matter out the phone away.
It's never easy to walk away.
let her go, it'll be alright.
I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt.
Seeing you staying out to 2am, seeing you posting about guys giving you penguin. Each time it breaks a little more. Idk how long I can go on like this.
Friday, January 25, 2019
Why
I don't know why do I even bother sometimes.
Why bother coming up with activities to do when she's doesn't look forward to your company?.
Why bother thinking of topics to talk about when she doesn't value the conversations you make.
Why bother exploring places to go when her heart is not even with you.
Why bother thinking about the future when you're not even in her picture.
Why bother buying gifts for her when she does not appreciate your efforts.
Why bother loving someone who doesn't love you back.
Wednesday, January 2, 2019
Holiday season
Holiday depression is a real.
Birthdays, Christmas, valentines, black Friday, new year eve.
I always hated special occasions and this time was no special. The whole concept that you have to be spent with your loved ones on these days just amplifies my loniness. The saddest part is that you're depressed during this period, and all your close friends are with their loved ones and family. Having plans or hanging out with friends on these days can't fix the misery.
Today my feelings resurfaced and I let my depressed self get the better of me. I need to suppress and bury that feelings away. No one needs to see or hear about my insecurities.
I should've known.
I can't bear to make anymore mistake.
Sunday, July 1, 2018
New chapter
New beginning yet again tmr! Looking forward to it so much. Looking forward to the whole package of growing up and taking up responsibilities! Excited to see what the world has in store for me, and see how much I can grab and make an impact!
Fuck school :>
Like fking finally.
And to all people who like to say 'enjoy your student life while you can', you suck.
Side note. Isit wrong to want to talk to an attached person as a friend? What if it's because I like her...?
Sunday, December 3, 2017
Long post
Can't wait for finals to be over, so that I can type one fking ass long reflection about my life in uni! Wanted to do it every sem but got lazy.. meh
Sunday, November 26, 2017
prosthetic or enhancement?
So it's finals, and only nearing finals i start studying.
reading about how science could potentially improve the quality of life of cognitive-impaired people and i suddenly wonder.
If it's okay to do that to someone born impaired, why can't we modify it abit and do it to someone who's NOT impaired and further improve his/her cognitive function?
would that be unethical?
if that's unethical, why?
isit because this person would now have an unfair advantage over the others?
But if that's the case, why would it be unfair?
isit because he's born like this so he should embrace it like the rest of us and not 'enhance' it to gain advantage?
Then why should born impaired people get that technology instead? i mean they're born like that they they'll have to live like that. right? even if they got into some accident, well that's just a way of life, why should you get that enhancement just cuz you started off behind? If that's allowed, can people who're born stupid get the enhancement?
Hmm then i suddenly thought of another scenario long time ago so i went to google.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vB_g-RSIGfM
Oscar Pistorius had his leg amputated when he was young. now he get's a prosthetic leg. when i was watching olympic many years ago, i see him casually changing his 'walking leg' into a 'running leg' few minutes prior to getting onto the track for a 400m competiton. first thing that comes to people's mind is probably wow look how strong this guy is, even with an handicap, he trained hard and made it to 400m finals on a world stage. sadly that's not what i thought, yeah i know, i lack sympathy for anything. First thing comes to my mind: why is this even allowed in olympics??? that thing is definitely not natural, who knows how the spring can help him in running or something and he might gain an unfair advantage over the others why the hell is this allowed? He got 'legs' for different purpose which means that the 'legs' are SPECIALLY designed for different purpose. which includes, running fast. how is this fair?
Well even though he didnt win the race, i still dislike that it's even allowed in a world stage. yeah sure say that i think too much or what. say that i lack sympathy. say that i'm heartless. tell me to wear a prosthetic leg and go run for olympics. If you're think anywhere near these then you're stupid.
Okay first, i'm not bashing on him saying hes unworthy. i'm just saying with this prosthetic legs, he might have an advantage, which might not get him the gold, but still. Second i'm not denying the fact that he probably put alot hard work into training. just like i don't think steriod users just get all big without any hardwork. it's just that you know.. it's just not a human leg. What if the spring help you push off the ground? or it could be lighter than a normal calves making it easier to run?
oh look top comment on the video:
'If having prosthetics/springs on your legs made you a better runner than all the parolympic runners would qualify for the regular olympics. There's a reason why he's the first to ever do it, because it is a teemendous deficit to have prosthetics. You people are pathetic with your assumptions.'
hundreds over likes, that means he/s probably saying the right things right? I decided to make some research. surely people have looked into it before. and guess what i found.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/blade-runners-do-high-tech-prostheses-give-runners-an-unfair-advantage/
lazy to type out the findings. basically it says that it DOES gives an unfair advantage. well, maybe the study is not comprehensive enough, and this needs more verification. point is, there IS a possibility that it does gives unfair advantage. so yeah case closed.
don't just join the crowd and just blindly say it's fair just cuz you pity him and respect his courage or hardwork blah blah blah... everyone on the track pour in tremendous amount of time and effort. stfu.
p.s neurology is interesting af, and difficult af
reading about how science could potentially improve the quality of life of cognitive-impaired people and i suddenly wonder.
If it's okay to do that to someone born impaired, why can't we modify it abit and do it to someone who's NOT impaired and further improve his/her cognitive function?
would that be unethical?
if that's unethical, why?
isit because this person would now have an unfair advantage over the others?
But if that's the case, why would it be unfair?
isit because he's born like this so he should embrace it like the rest of us and not 'enhance' it to gain advantage?
Then why should born impaired people get that technology instead? i mean they're born like that they they'll have to live like that. right? even if they got into some accident, well that's just a way of life, why should you get that enhancement just cuz you started off behind? If that's allowed, can people who're born stupid get the enhancement?
Hmm then i suddenly thought of another scenario long time ago so i went to google.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vB_g-RSIGfM
Oscar Pistorius had his leg amputated when he was young. now he get's a prosthetic leg. when i was watching olympic many years ago, i see him casually changing his 'walking leg' into a 'running leg' few minutes prior to getting onto the track for a 400m competiton. first thing that comes to people's mind is probably wow look how strong this guy is, even with an handicap, he trained hard and made it to 400m finals on a world stage. sadly that's not what i thought, yeah i know, i lack sympathy for anything. First thing comes to my mind: why is this even allowed in olympics??? that thing is definitely not natural, who knows how the spring can help him in running or something and he might gain an unfair advantage over the others why the hell is this allowed? He got 'legs' for different purpose which means that the 'legs' are SPECIALLY designed for different purpose. which includes, running fast. how is this fair?
Well even though he didnt win the race, i still dislike that it's even allowed in a world stage. yeah sure say that i think too much or what. say that i lack sympathy. say that i'm heartless. tell me to wear a prosthetic leg and go run for olympics. If you're think anywhere near these then you're stupid.
Okay first, i'm not bashing on him saying hes unworthy. i'm just saying with this prosthetic legs, he might have an advantage, which might not get him the gold, but still. Second i'm not denying the fact that he probably put alot hard work into training. just like i don't think steriod users just get all big without any hardwork. it's just that you know.. it's just not a human leg. What if the spring help you push off the ground? or it could be lighter than a normal calves making it easier to run?
oh look top comment on the video:
'If having prosthetics/springs on your legs made you a better runner than all the parolympic runners would qualify for the regular olympics. There's a reason why he's the first to ever do it, because it is a teemendous deficit to have prosthetics. You people are pathetic with your assumptions.'
hundreds over likes, that means he/s probably saying the right things right? I decided to make some research. surely people have looked into it before. and guess what i found.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/blade-runners-do-high-tech-prostheses-give-runners-an-unfair-advantage/
lazy to type out the findings. basically it says that it DOES gives an unfair advantage. well, maybe the study is not comprehensive enough, and this needs more verification. point is, there IS a possibility that it does gives unfair advantage. so yeah case closed.
don't just join the crowd and just blindly say it's fair just cuz you pity him and respect his courage or hardwork blah blah blah... everyone on the track pour in tremendous amount of time and effort. stfu.
p.s neurology is interesting af, and difficult af
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