its called a secret. n thats why i cant reveal it. get it. sorry. but its really not time to reveal it yet. the timing is just isnt right. the time will come when everything wiould be reveales. bt for nw. lets just leave thing as it is. dont question further as i wont be answering anything. just for now.


n i'll be friggin happy if you do that. seriously.
bt i know you wont.
you cn surprise me though sayang.
i'll be waiting.

ok. haha. if you dont understand it. then its nt meant for you. hehe. i've never had a soo happy day. ok i meant nt in the past few days. today was a supplement to the very pissing day yest that gt me venting out my anger to everyone that gets into my way. whats up with me mann. haha. sorry ppl didnt mean it. bt anw. today ws a kind of a very the random day. ok. unplaanned i guess. woke up super early today. yes i mean super. bt i ws still late for class. haha. why. cause i spent a bloody long time taking my own sweet tym bething and dressing up. hahaha. nt as if i really did dress up. bt i had fun. i like being alone at hm in the morning. feels so peaceful. school. mmmm. no words to describe it. and then headed off to take my supposedly flops at jurong east with ah pei. n we were so early that we walked aimlessly there n i gt myself a barney. YAYness. haha. ok. n you knw what she totally frgt abt it. i meant the spree-er. ws feeling sad cause i ws so looking frward to it. bt. yeah. what to do. n then next stop ws the survey-ing for watch. haha. went to tm. looked and looked and i saw this super nice billabong watch. hmm. lets hear what mums gotta say since she is paying for it. oops. haha. m like almost broke cn. ohh. n i bought nail polish-s today. YAYness. haha ok. was tempted by ah pei. i really shud stop spending or i really wont ever save enuf money for sydney. damn. ohh. then otw back bumped into naz like at the busstop infrnt of my house. n i cud have gone back you know. bt i walked her hm. see see. hw nice and sweet of me naz. hahaha. bt yeah. i had lots of fun laughing talking abt stupid and random stuffs. haha. it hurts both my stomach and jaws. n i realise its very the tiring when you walk and laugh non-stop at the same time. haha. ok. fine. haha. and then. i had the whole teevee to myself. i watch it for very very long. mmmm. since i reached hm arnd 10.30 till like 1.30. haha. ok. sitting on my dad's so comfortable chair with my unchanged clothes and everything. with everyone else in their own room sleeping. woah. only me. the chair. the teevee. it feels so heavenly. haha. ok. i've nt watch teevee for this long ok. see hw bz i am. haha. ok nt. i always watch in m room. bt the hall one seems so much more fun. and next up talking to sayang. haha. i shall not elaborate. bt YAY. overall m totally sastified with the day. ok it seems nrml bt m totally happy i dont know why.

n why m i typing all these? haha. i have no idea. mmmm. sharing my random happyness. haha. ok. stop it ellyana. ppl wont be interested in your day. haha. ok. stop it.


just say m bloody pissed right nw. pissed with the some ppl who are bugging me for it. pissed with the one who promised to give it to me earlier but yet nt. pissed with all these inconsiderate souls. damnit. ok. i shall nt say it out loud for there are some uninvited ones who may just pass it on to them causing this to be a bigger affair. chill ellyana. sabar. separuh dari iman. warggghhhhh. damnit. one day! ok no. half a day. like i cn complete it all. fuckit larh ppl.


my mum just freaked me out. i ws asking her abt my weird dream. she was like you know b4 your grandma died i also dreamt of her dying twice. and in the next few months she really left us. omg. i totally ws like wth. n my dad ws giving me that face. warggghhh. freaky much. i hope its nt true. lets just pray. it wont come true. it wont come true. it wont. wont.

n yes. i received my first warning letter today. wth. ok. i shall stop skipping classes. damn. or else i wont even nedd to think about going for exams larh. shit mann.


n m getting scred. is there a hidden message in these dreams that i've been having. or isit just a game of the mind. bt yest dream ws totally weird. i've dreamt of hym dying quite a few tyms bt yest made me really terrified. so in this dream amazingly i dunno why. there ws cikgu hezrina. her husband. me n ddy. so we were talking. abt her life aftr marriage n stuff. i dunno we were talking abt sumthin. then it came to the part of sembahyang. when me n her talk abt nt sembahyang-ing. then abt whether ddy sembahyang and stuffs. and she then said a word. a word that i dont understand. istihiad or sumthin like that. its like is..........ad. like wud i do that or nt sumthin like that. i ws like aper tu cikgu? ddy then went away frm the scene. cikgu was practically staring at hym n she ws like sembahyang-ing for his death. n i ws lyk. 'cikgu jgn curse sayer mcm gitu arh cikgu.' n guess what. the next minute. he just died. dunno why or what happened? it ws just at his funeral in the next scene. and then i suddenly woke up.

its freaky right. n i dunno what is the msg cikgu ws trying to brng across. its weird. why ws she there in the first place. no one knows anithin except for naz. its freaky. n whats the word? its weird everytime i dream abt hym dying weird ppl come up. this tym it ws cikgu. the other tym ws a sister that came out of nowhere when he doesnt even hv one. ppl say its permainan tidur. i dunno. its scary. n m feeling unsettled. ok its more to paranoia. lets pray hard it doesnt happen.


work today was a total a bitch. hahaha. its getting more fun to go to work nowdays with everyone already starting to be bitchy. fun fun fun. hahaha. so anw. had a last min date with naz aftr work. we went for a romantic stroll to the cc. haha. ok lame. so yeah. we just walked and walked. n talk abt stuffs. ohh n aftr our romantic stroll we had a very romantic dinner under the.......ok not moonlight. bt void deck. hahaha. oh well i miss her since she just came back. n i gt alot of goodies. hehe. thnks dear. n ok you noticed it. m super bored. fnb is driving me crazy with the arranging of pic and stuffs. ok i admit i love editting pic bt nt many at a time and especially weird food. n i think my whole menu layout looks weird. and POM is another shit. its due 2moro ok tues. n i havent received the doc yet. n i cant start without it. i guess we really start too late. hmmm. n i have work 2moro. lyk am i able to finish it? i wonder. burning the midnight oil agn? this is worse then o levels mann. n m starting to be an owl sleeping in the day instead of the night. ohh talking abt o's. results 2moro. woahh. ppl must be scared. thinking abt it it seems like only yest when mine happened. and i ws sure scared. i remembered to nt be able to slp and ended up playing rubix cube the whole night. yes. that made me mastered it. hmmm thinking i dont really have any family members taking o's this year. ohh i onlie have one cuzzin. bt hes damn smart so nothing to worry abt. ohh anyway. GOODLUCK PEOPLE!!


to start of my day. i officially met someone today. official as in spending more than 5 mins together. haha. it was kind of interesting. mmm quite awkward too. bt it ws an experience. he's cute. quite hot actually. haha. bt very sneaky and the way he talks its like woah. too mmm let me give it a nice word. too coquettish. haha. so yeah. a memorable experience though.

work today ws kind of bitchy. haha. with all the bitchy talks. n i finally realise sumtin. guys cn be way bitchier than us gurls. hahaha. you go guys.





ohhh. my pay is like being held back for god knows whatever reason that is. crapness. m already so broke. n its not like m getting my allowance anytime soon. =(


it was kind of dreary at the start of the day. i ws totally lost at what to do. for the first time. i felt like going to school. bt i onlie had econs lecture and i dont think anyone went so i decided to go back to slp. waking up onlie at 1 sumtin by a phone call. someone wanting to meet me to discuss sumtin which m so nt interested in. so i politely declined. ok i lied. a white lie to decline it. bt hey you dont start my day discussing abt things m nt interested in. see how dreary is that. bt the day turn out great at a ltr part. met my dear people (i cant say the word sis cause i think L tracked my blog. yes believe it or nt.) and we went out for a Karaoke session. it ws fun fun fun. we were like a crazy bunch of fools. bt the day ws short. i so wanna go agn. with them. it ws like the first time ever wih them and its so fun. yeay. n the place doesnt seem so ulu as i thot it wud be. yap. cn consider that place as another alternative karaoke place peeps. *Hint Hint. haha. ok. to be honest. m bloody bored. thus writing this crap here. teeheee. =)


my mum just told me this. to make sure that my bf's mum is sumone easy to get alng with. so things wud be easier. i ws lyk. okay. n dad was lyk. to make its easier why nt i'll just matchmake you. i have a lot of friends with sons. n i ws lyk. its allright. i have my own choice. its funny on hw i gt dragged on into things unknowingly.




a very shocking news struck me today. ok yesterday. 03 January 2009. a super shocking one. n i am unsure if i cud ever face hym agn. it'll be just super-the-very-awkward. n i thot 2009 wud be a great year. what a wish.




its funny on hw i look back at my life. n the things that i have done in 2008. i realised that mmmm. i ws quite dumb during the starting of the year. i did things that i shud nt have. bt yeah. it was an experience. n it made me grew seriously a lot more. bt things were getting better for me in the next half of the year. i realise i was a bitch during that part bt then. its life. sumtyms you have to be bitchy and selfish to survive. seriously. bt a lot of things happened and it tool a turn in my life. it seems to have broaden my horizon. thnks to all that every situation that happen. be it gd or bad. n i seem to have gain more friends. all different age and races. with mmm different thinkings and actions. yeap. its really interesting. especially some whom really made an impact in my life. bt i realise sumtin. that i've made a fren this year bt also lost hym this year due to some awkward things that have happened. it really gets me thinking. hw long will all the friendship that i currently have nw last. m nt too sure. as so they seem to say friends come and go. so yeah. bt for atleast i know i have some that will stick to me for the rest of my life. so lets all just wait n see.




the day seems to be going on fine today. i hope it continues. cause i woke up super early today. like what the old folks used to say. 'bangun pagi rezeki masuk'. sumtin like that. so yeah. accompanied my bro to sch today. he ws like ohh so excited. was especially happy that my dad was sending hym to school. ????? want to go early. with the tie n so. yeah. he is most excited in wearing the tie for god knows why. bt i feel that he such a geek today. haha. oops. bt anw. most of the teachers are gone. mostly are new ones. so the teachers that noticed me today ws basically mdm adibah, ms ling, ms myrene ang (i know. so surprising. its like she and i like so close like that. she seems so familiar with me. bt i cant remeber any occasion whereby we had to work together. hmmm.). and ohh nt forgetting the security guard. jerry. yeap. so yeah. ws supposed to like stay there the whole day for my mum asked me to like 'look' aftr hym. bt m taking a break back hm before returning there agn ltr. n like. hello. he is in secondary one. n nt primary one for goodness sake. bt i realised on thing. i thot that my bro ws like too short for his age. bt surprisingly all the other sec ones were like that too. the gurls were like so much taller than the guys. funny how it seems to be so. guys mature later as so they say.




yay!! m lyk gleefully happy today. ok no such word. bt yeah. i am super super super happy. since 12.40 am. hahaha. thnks ddy for lyk making my day. so anw. celebrating the new year today isnt like what i really expected and imagined it to be like. bt yeah. it ws still nice. to be juct chilling out and laughing away with my dear fren. had fun i cn say. yup. so i kind of just gt hm. ok abt 45 mins ago. n yap. i have to finish up my leadership nw as i hav to like send it to the others by 2moro. i mean today. b4 they all wake up. yes i know. what a way to be celebrating new year. bt anw. i went back to my last year post. on my 2008 resolution. so here is it. copied and pasted.

2008 Resolution
1. to go out less often. and go back home early.
2. to spend less money on buying unneccessary things. and save more. (i doubt so)
3. to forget all about the unhappy past and start my life a new like a new born baby.
4. to not be a bitch and irritate lesser ppl.
5. to be a good daughter and listen to my parents.
6. to spend more time with my besties and meet every 28 like usual which we have not done for quite a few months. so shasha darling. still remember. 28th.
7. to keep in touch with my secondary school friends eventhough we are soon to be separated. sob. sob. why not we too choose a date where we will all meet every month so that we will still stay as close.
8. to study more and play less.
9. to start acting sixteen and stop being so childish.
10. and lastly to try remember everyone's birthday and try to get presents for them.

n yes that ws it. n guess what. i didnt achieve any of them at all. pathetic so. i know. haha. so yeah. right nw. i have the decided what my this year resolution wud be.

2009 Resolution
1. to be happy and just live life to the fullest nt leaving any regrets.

yes. since i didnt achieve any of my resolution last year. i wud just stick to this one this year. simple and attainable.

OHH. HAPPY NEW 2009 PEOPLE!

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Cause I Am Like Oh So NOT Interested To Know What You Are Thinking.

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