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Sunday, February 27, 2011; 12:39 AM
you always question why am i so good at tanking stuff. but at times like this, when it's just left with you & you alone with all the problems & troubles, and just no one to rant to, the only resort is to just swallow everything down, forgive and forget. nothing else can be done & no one is to be blame. probably life's just like this. at times of fun, it just makes you feel really fortunate & blessed to be in that situation, to be in this life. but it just really make me realise, sometimes, which are the ones that i can really fall back to when in times of need. is it really them??
no one to be blame. when everyone just have their own life to lead, almost no one will give a fuck about you. even your family, sometimes, don't even give a damn. what do you expect from friends. just glad that there just this few that's always there to hear me rant and stuff. thinking about it, it just feels that everything is enough. don't have to be so greedy to ask for more, just for those few to always to be there. even if your social circle stops here, but with just those few around, it's just good enough.
& it's starting to feel tired to those insincere ones. when you thought that you had taken things for granted from them, you're just wrong. because when you stop & look back, things were just totally different from what you always thought was right. you may even be taken advantage of without knowing. & that sudden realization just sucks. it just makes you feel as though you were dropped down from the 11th storey. to be taken for granted for, and yet they are never grateful towards you. it just sucks totally. and everything in the past just feels so fake.
there's just that other side of everyone out there, but is just how different they are from the ones you see. & which to believe, is just up to you.
so sometimes, rather to not know so much. just that good side & it's enough. because anything beyond that is just going to add a big twist in that relationship.
Saturday, February 05, 2011; 2:36 AM
the total big change from the academic calendar is really hard to adapt. christmas & new year is really not there anymore. or maybe it's sg. i dont feel it coming at all. just ohh! it's new year. just steamboats & more steamboats. angpao & more angpaos. without just a member from each side, everything changed. gran seems so haggard without her help. both. it just hurts to see them suffering like this. & i really think that no one will und how i feel.
but i got to admit, this year's new year was really a nice catching up session with us girls. just kpoped all the way with cousins. & hiao with them. but sleepover @ my place was quite fail tonight. when we actually planned to watch ss 1 & 2, & even gambled abit.
projects are sort of done. at least half of blaw & dss. just presentations left (: but RWA's being a bitch because there are just SO MANY THINGS TO RMB & i have not studies. damn sian!!! more & more work's piling, & procrastinating as usual. really sucks. just really cant wait for hols. when i can just sleep in all day w/o worrying for proj & tests. & even have fun in the upcoming 3 orientation camps! heheheh.
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ALEXIA.GERMAINE.LEE 