in spite of it....

But I do walk...
Okay, so after my last blog spilling the details all over you... I do want to just say that I am walking in spite of the pain... 2 miles every morning with a friend who decided to join me in the "get into fighting" shape with the last 9 weeks before surgery.. and so we meet at one anothers houses (alternating weeks) at 6am, YES I said 6am - every day and walk and talk... It takes us 30 minutes to walk it, (thats my limit) before my ankle revolts. We had been trying to put together one or two nights at a local park on a cushy track, but one it was just so damn busy there for parking and than when you got onto the track, you were either being passed, or trying to pass the slow ones, and the runners on the inside of this narrow track weren't all that into sharing-too crowded. And the other thing is that by late evening, plans are off track and someone (usually me) had to change, reschedule... and so at 6am I haven't usually even decided whether I want to get out of bed and so I'M AVAILABLE for sure! So than it's a quick shower, breakfast.. or not, and than to the office in time to get a parking spot somewhere in the parking structure and than the 325 steps to my office. (yes, I have a step counter) and two miles is 4576!

Temple in teardown condition

Well, if this body is a temple, I must be in a teardown stage..... a couple of weeks has gone by since the never ending followup doctor visit with orthopeadic surgeon post surgery... My physical therapist had given me "done all I can do for you" speech a couple weeks before that stating that until the doctor determines what is going on with some testing blah blah blah blah... The strength and range of motion was at a good level, just the "using it" was at a pitifully low tolerance of pressure, shifting, sliding without a shooting painful stab through the ankle. (right where I was at the beginning) So he wouldn't do an MRI like I hoped, said he knew what it looked like when he was in there, and the pain just told him that the tumor has to come out as we knew was the possibility.. Nov 17 is the date for the bone transplant in the talus dome and the ugly procedure will once again knock me off my feet and through the recovery process I am pretty well versed in after two surgeries since May 2007, but this won't be arthriscopic.
the gruesome details as I can stomach at this point and have no great anticipation (more trepidation) about going through. An incision of about 4-5 inches will be cut on the inside of the skin crossing over the ankle bone (left foot) and they will first break the bony connection between the ankle/tibia in order to open the space where the talus dome is located (top of foot at base of tibia) in a hard to reach place.. they will than drill out the tumor and scrape it clean, and place a cadaver (dead person's) bone transplant into the space, and from the base of my tibia bone on the top side they will "skim" a membrane off of the tibia and sew this over the newly transplanted bone on three sides. They will than use my cartilage cells they biopsied from my own knee back in March 2008 (we saw this coming). These cartilage cells have been in Texas being cultured, and will be shot under the membrane and over the bone transplanted and than sew the last edge of membrane to the bone... than they will put the ankle/tibia connection back together repairing the break with 2-3 screws.. and than back out sewing it shut... DOESN'T THAT READ LIKE FUN!

30 weeks of the last two years in a cast, walking boot, 2 surgeries all trying to avoid this hair raising surgical procedure they won't even consider until your life has looked like this... so that tells me that NO PICNIC is planned to celebrate. I'm to young to live life this slowed down and so I am trusting that this is necessary and possible to walk without this level of pain and worth the process. I'm not always so cheery about it, but chronic pain will do that to ya!