fixing my error ~

okay so the "my other websites" of the flickr pictures link was incorrect on my part the entire time I've blogged and I just took note of it... it has now been fixed and links directly.. FLICKR.COM/PHOTOS/SYMENS - I have currently posted new pictures (pardon my slow processing) the new pics will be of our trip to Yosemite in Nov., Brian's 21st bday, all of the Christmas 2008.

We are enjoying a quiet night at home for the new year... most likely cuz it's our choice and that we perhaps just don't have any friends.. ha ha ha

We've watched alot of bowl games throughout the day while taking down the christmas deco.. the Brut bowl, The Gaylord Hotels Music Bowl, Chik-Fil-A Bowl and the Insight Bowl where Gregs beloved Minnesota Gophers got the snot kicked out of them by Kansas.. Now we certainly enjoy football, but give me a break on the names of those who sponsor them - there are more bowl names to come for us to chuckle over in the next week. We are anticipating that someday soon we will have the Viagra Bowl, the Tampax or Kotex Bowl or the Pepto Bismol Bowl... I've got more, but will just quick there.

Happy New Year from us sitting quietly at home!

Our recent movie reviews

While these comments are those of the blogger, bear that in mind, you might have really bizarre taste compared to mine. Five movie reviews from our last two weeks -

YES MAN ~ was just what you'd expect from Jim Carey, his funny faces, his funny comments, jokes, and the plot is very somewhat shallow in parts and than again hits some depth in others... but overall it is an enjoyable movie that we give a thumbs up. good one to rent...

SEVEN POUNDS - Will Smith - UGH... went in expecting that it would at least be entertaining in spite of knowing it had somewhat of a dark premise to the plot.. but it mooooovvvveeeeddd sooooo veeerrrrrryyyyy slllloooowwwwlllyyy in the beginining 30 minutes that it was actually torturous to keep up with the plot of who he was (never figured it out) why he was doing this (came to you in itsy bitsy glimpses until the end) and than it just really didn't make much sense.. felt like it was filmed in segments with huge gaps and than just edited all together.
The next day Greg and I were trying to explain it to Ashley and still we both saw it completely differently and he was confused as to who got what and when... a complete and total THUMBS DOWN, don't even rent it. Will Smith has made to many good movies to take in this one

MARLEY AND ME with all of our Van Essen clan this wknd in Madera. Owen Wilson and Jennifer Anniston. I give this movie a great family rating. Heard that they used 21 dogs for Marley to make this. It was funny, funny, and than again.... advance warning - bring kleenex. I give this a major Thumbs up. Great movie change for Owen Wilson as a family man who does responsibility really well, who knew he had it in him!

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTONS; Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett. It has a plot that you have to not think to deeply into and just go with it as it unfolds, it is a good movie with a peculiar premise of an OLD man born into a newborn's OLD looking body and than he is thrust into a life of some bumps with those around him after some unfortunate beginnings with his own family. Wont give away anymore than that, but it is not your usual plot. a thumbs up from both of us.

GRAN TORINO; Clint Eastwood. Now this is an actor that has a long and infamous career. Heard this was going to be his last movie and it is somewhat of a "dirty Harry" "unforgiven" style that he has done in his younger years. Truly there is probably a generation that has no idea who he is (unlike those of us with the western movie station for flashbacks) But just imagine that he is now playing a very older man (probably his own age) and saying that he has got some issues is an understatement of major magnitude. With his cantankerous personality and lack of affection for anyone but the wife he is burying at the very beginning, this leads you through some basics of the plot and how it progresses to the end. But Greg and I both looked at each other during the movie and said the same name of the actual person we know that he reminded us of and laughed! Now we do have a disclaimer that the "f" word is used somewhat liberally in the movie because of the way it unfolds of culture youth and a contankerous war veteran speaking. He also uses somewhat a ton of verbage of slang to describe the minority neighbors and such... but he has somewhat of a learning curve in the movie as well. We both liked this movie and give it a thumbs up.

a quick note..

We arrived home safely a few hours ago from four days of activities involving Christmas with family. The boys left this afternoon ahead of us by a short measure of time and we each ran into the rush of traffic heading back into L.A. from many travelers far and near. So we do our best to "grin and bear it" until you breathe easier with the change of a route where it opens up.

We had a good local Christmas day with about 35 of the Van Meeteren's which starts a little after noon and just goes on until late in the evening.. We eat, talk and share, and let me add that after a big lunch, eating just goes on throughout the day if you allow yourself the constant trips to the kitchen island where there is a spread of goodies that just is unending. We have a $10 gift exchange/stealing kind of game some santa gifts and lots of laughter. The women hang upstairs and we played catch phrase which brings laughter, and some tears from squealing beyond the point of laughter.. The men spend the day downstairs immersed in one or more of the sporting events on tv, and a hot game of cards of "smear" and just doing whatever else they do down there but they too have laughter and plenty to eat.

Friday at various times our own family headed up to Madera which is roughly 4.5 hours north to Stacy's for the Van Essen wknd of hanging out together. My parents had been up there for a couple of weeks. Lisa's family came down to Madera on Saturday. We enjoyed several meals together, saw the movie "marley and me" together (very good one) and there was WII and XBOX competition going on throughout the weekend and some sore muscles from boxing, dancing, bowling, mario carting and fun was had by all in being together and laughing at yourself and with others. Plenty of time goes by between these gatherings, and times like this bring you back to what is important in life and yet what we can quickly forget to embrace with each other. Today we attended Cornerstone church of the Dykstra's in Chowchilla, where the past youth director in seminary was leading worship. He did a fantastic sermon for which is another blog in itself, but he laid the reality of being a christian in this world as it is written in the word of God in these times... He hit the nail on the head and gave you no wiggle room for hoping or glad that "someone else was hearing this sermon" cuz it was for each of us..

Hope that your Christmas time was truely blessed.

The night before Christmas Eve thinking spell..

As the time draws near towards Christmas eve.. WE ARE READY! I have been in a baking frenzy as Brian could be quoted as having said this week & the gifts are under the tree and I'm excited to share those with friends and family. Today was just a day of (missing work) and Greg and I went on a "oops we forgot that person" gift find where we lucked out right away and actually picked up a few of the extravagant just because kind of gift giving ideas.

We as a family are going to the 11pm Christmas eve service after Ashley and Shane get off of work and I am looking forward to celebrating the birth of the savior whose destiny was to be nailed to a cross for MY SIN. A friend is doing his testimony at the services going on all day long.

Our family tradition is that we each contribute one thing as Santa into the stockings of each other for Christmas morning. I am also excited about the Christmas morning gift opening this year as there are quite a few well thought out gifts under the tree to fit specific interests/needs/likes and I'm looking forward to seeing the look on their face when they are opened!

Our Christmas day we will all be with Gregs side of the Van Meeteren family with aunts/uncles/cousins here locally. Friday we will all be leaving for Madera to my sisters to meet up with the Van Essen side with the parents, sisters/brother inlaws/nieces & nephews during the weekend for just hanging out together. It should be a fun weekend of family and than home for ringing in of the new year 2009. Lots anticipated in the new year.

baking extravaganza - sort of..

Well, considering how much baking I really ever find time to do, this afternoon was a extravaganza of accomplishment. I think about it often but rarely manage anything other than a quick out of the box something. So today, went to church, lunch with Ashley and a quick stop to retrieve Gregs cell phone at the furniture store we were at yesterday.. he dropped it somewhere is all he knew- shopping or at movies???? For which, as Ashley and I were walking to the car after church I mention the loss, and she stops and says "hey, this store called yesterday that they had a cingular phone.. blah blah", she says "I told him no one here has lost a phone" cuz the truth is Greg rarely has it with him when we are trying to get ahold of him so she figured he couldn't have lost something he didn't take with him.... So he lucked out.

Ashley and i baked together for the first time in like "ages" since she has been in school fulltime and working fulltime, she's just usually not in the mood.. so after a batch of cookies and a pan of bars, she bailed and went back to reading her enthralling "twilight #3 of 4" where her nose has been planted since the semester ended. Now having given her two weeks notice to disneyland and not working weekends, she is very relaxed. I trudged on and made 6 dozen more, and will make the roll out cookies tomorrow after work... cuz I now too have bailed, and am relaxing on the couch with twelve dozen cookies overflowing my cookie jar. Brian will be happy.

The boys went snowboarding to the mountains at 4:30 this morning with 10 people.. came back having had a great time, great roads, and great weather. They ran into the Hyink's in the ticket line - Small world. The snow in the local mountains is awesome for total as they really got dumped on this week with 54" with all the rain down on the flatlands. So it will be a regular spot for them. Brian is planning on making a trip to Gorman on the way home from Christmas wknd in Madera with his dirt bike meeting a friend, and that will be a cold ride as they too have gotten some snow this week/cold...

Well, the tree is lit up, the baking permeating the air, and sunday night football is under way.. time to check out..

Wednesday woohoo's

Today, I snoozed a little long..no walking since it's rainy and cold, and I have a cold, ankle sore and so taking a rest period to heal up. Get to work and bonanza, I have a light work load for this ONE particular day, no requests in the inbox that aren't quick turnarounds.. so I finish it up and gave a Ashley a text asking if she wanted to hang out shopping or a movie or both... she said yes, I will be dressed by the time you get home.. So we went to see the "sleeper" movie with a not so hot recommendation from either of us (rental maybe) of "nothing like the holidays". I think we saw all of the funny parts in the previews, apparantly.. so we went to Ziba's for eyebrows threaded, did some shopping (yea!) and than heading home cuz it was sloppy rainy out and cold.

I wrestled (literally) with the printer which seems to only have issues with Ashley and I ever, to which Greg always chimes in at the wrong time "I never have trouble with it".... SHUT UP ALREADY.. cuz when it's giving you issues, what does that comment help? NOTHING! so 130 copies later two sides and making sure it didn't jam, freeze up, grab to many pages (I hate that one) or slur the type, I was done with another step. Thankfully printing my labels went smoothly other than the one typo I found later, but eureka onto folding, stuffing, who gets an extra picture, a doodad from Ashley... and than once everything is stuffed, licked, stamped I sent Shane and Ashley to the post office at 11 pm to expedite the snail mail with moving it along in the early am... yes, they were playing xbox and reading.. they were willing and it's just a few blocks.. bonding time!

oh dang look at the clock, it's late again.. oh well ~

waiting impatiently....

Last night, I began the duanting task of the annual Christmas letter writing (yes, late again) and so I begin to make a couple of notes about the year. I write, backspace, write some more and backspace alot until very late into the night.. adding in pictures to the letter deemed trickier using Shanes new computer for me. Fortunately Ashley was home to keep me heading in the right direction with the finer points of word doc that I lack. I think she thought she should have just read her book in her room to be closer to the office than downstairs on the couch cuz she made a few trips upstairs to bail me out. We live in an age where she says "txt me" when you need help, and I did ~ ha.

So today, I race to Sams Club and get the picture card figured out, ordered and requested back in hours.. it was somewhat of a tag team with the person next to me as we kept leaning into each other when we got stumped or needed confirmation we chose the right this or that. I leave and run some errands in other stores and than back to get picture cards. For which I run into that same person and we compared finished product. I made a stop at the post office to get stamps and decided to use the machine vs the 45 minute wait in line.. I ended up leaving with about 9 dollars in coins and change and my 6 books of stamps.. ugh, now to haul around those funky looking coins and not use them like quarters. Honestly they come in different sizes and colors, a few do look like quarters and I had to use my reading glasses to read "One dollar" on it. Can you imagine where that will go when it comes time to use them. Just give me the paper version. Oh well, don't need stamps again until next year when I send out cards in 2009. or email them out would be my inspiration....

So tonight I come home "ready" to hit the floor running after I refine my christmas letter. Wouldn't you know it, tonight is the night Greg needs two computers set up in his office to work on end of the year reports and forecasting for next year ~ WHAT, I need to use the printer, and space to print my gazillions letters and labels. I like order and so nope, can't just start stuffing envelopes and stamp them cuz that's out of order from my routine.... oh well, another day won't matter at this point. I guess there is one consolation, I ran into a couple of friends today who said they aren't this far yet..

Saturday musings..

WHEW ~ this week has been just cram packed and fun, but exhausting at the same time. I have shopped for ONE gift online and well, the list is very short this year and the kids I've got figured out.. so no worries ~ isn't that great.. This is a christmas of CHRIST in Christmas as it should be and the materialism as a "quiet" feature of gifting but not overloading. But of course we now have all adult children and they too understand that times are uncertain in the job market. Gregs only request to them for a gift was that they all read the Dave Ramsey book "the total money makeover", so we will see if he gets that "under" the tree.

Today was cold, somewhat cloudy/sunny and drizzly and windy.. the heater was turned on this afternoon for the first time to combat the chill in the air and thru the crevices in the house..

Friday I made a random call to the surgeons office to "hear" how things were shaping up in the appeal, not really anticipating that there would be such a response. Natalie the assistant answered and she said "perfect timing" as she was busy copying the one inch stack of papers to be submitted as the appeal to Aetna insurance for my case. She asked me if I had received the denial letter, for which I had, and would I fax it to her as they had hoped to include it. Absolutely I'd fax it in 10 minutes when I got home. So the packet should either have hit the certified mail system yesterday or on Monday heading to NC.. I would assume some time after the new year we'd hear back, who knows if they all vacation during the holidays or actually labor over the piles of paperwork. Do I sound relaxed in the waiting process.. well, I am. I have hope for getting this resolved in the cysts removal and to move on in healthy living without the added stabs of pain, but I'm also resolved that if surgery is not permissable due to insurance insistence of denial, that LIFE WILL NOT STOP in that I will be active to the highest level possible. I now walk 2-2.2 miles every weekday morning, and have added 2.2+ miles every night that I can, so that has been mind over matter quite often, and perserverance, but I'm feeling better physically, somewhat tired, but better overall. The other night we went to a football game with some friends in Temecula, and parked some distance from the HS and it was downhill to the game and yep you guessed it, uphill back to the car. I felt good when we arrived at the car and so "victorius" over circumstances...

Tonight Ashley and I watched the movie Bucket List with Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman. It had been awhile since we date nighted this movie at the theatre and I had forgotten many of the parts of it. But the idea of a bucket list is a good one, especially if you think of it early in life and can master many things while still alive and kicking. Ashley had earlier announced she was probably going skydiving over the break from school with a friends family.. Greg said he needs to take out a life insurance policy on her!

Well, early bedtime is calling me. Greg's already asleep 3 minutes after he sat in the chair next to me... but he is older than me! hehee

Ellie Lofaro part one

Ellie Lofaro is a christian comedian / author - very funny woman with a dry sense of humor. (my kind of woman) She has a two part broadcast and presents a humor-filled and insightful message about overcoming life's trials with God's help.. laugh along with her and be inspired... http://www.family.com/ to listen to it under broadcasts. I'm looking forward to tomorrows finale.. It is good to laugh at ourselves ladies...

one story she told.. Mabel is a woman who raised her children right and her son moved to the big city, and had a roommate Stephanie. He assured his mother that it's purely platonic and they aren't sleeping together. Mabel arrive for a visit to see for herself. Stephanie cooks a lovely dinner and Mabel returned home. Several days later, Stephanie tells David that her sterling silver gravy ladle is missing and she not accusing his mother but it's been missing since her visit. So he says I will ask her, but I don't think she would have taken it. So he emails his mother and says "mom, I'm not accusing you of taking the gravy ladle but since you left it's been missing and Stephanie can't find it." Mabel emails back to David "I'm not saying that you are sleeping with Stephanie, but if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found it"... hysterical laughter is going on now and she says "power to the mothers......"

one of the good pieces from her presentation about being an overcomer: If you are not hanging out with women who don't look like you, you are missing something...
We will converse for hours with each other about earthly things, but will not talk about Jesus, our relationship, our blessings, our struggles.. If you know the joy and peace of Jesus and you don't tell others, what are you? If we are christians and when the cancer comes, and we're not prepared in our faith, it's late, but can we say "he is God and he is a good God". If we are christians we need to be sitting at the end of the hospital bed with more than good luck, hang in there. If your a christian you need to have something to say as we stand at the cemetary as that casket is lowered. We are more than overcomers, we are women of faith, we are women of substance, it is not just "hang in there, do your best, good luck, come what may". He is God, we will live forever we will meet again that is a promise. I am not going 6 ft under, biting the dust. We are going to live and rule and reign, I have no idea what that means, but I CAN'T wait to rule and reign in heaven. Praising him for all eternity... We have answers, why are people breaking down, why do families stop talking for so many years. Oprah has 22 million a day viewers which is a following. Where do you get your truth from? Where do you get your opinions from, are you embarrassed to say what you think or are you quiet because you don't know his word? Many will say that your faith is so personal, heck no, we get married we tell everyone, we have a child we show everyone, If I have Jesus as my saviour and we don't talk about him.. What are we? We could very well end up in the judgement line after our life has ended and have an acquaintance who we worked with who will say "you’re a christian, we worked next to each other in the cubicles for 8 years and you never said a word", or are we a parent whose child played soccer with others who might say "you’re a christian, we were on the soccer field 46 times and you never told me about Jesus".. We don't say anything, how can we not say anything? We tell friends when theres a sale at the stores, but we won't share this.. why?

Are we ready to answer the challenge? We know Christ and we must make him known...

Gods blessings... I'm now more motivated.

Wednesday woes

This morning the alarm clock was a totally shocking and a much dreaded interruption, so I tried out the snooze feature on my phone and while I don't know how long it delayed the inevitable.. it wasn't long enough.. I begrudgingly ventured toward the shorts/sweatshirt attire in a pile on the bathroom floor, and just in case Virginia was waiting in the driveway, sent her a text to be patient I was getting there... Now it didn't help that a group of us went to dinner/happy hour together after work and well, I had a few drinks and it might have been the reason that it felt like a fastball landed square in the back of my head! Although I have been under the curse of headaches for awhile and so it's not a given that it wasn't related to that, but I doubt it. And the slow start once I returned from the walk pretty much didn't speed up in any fashion and therefore being that I can pick the time I start work, I exercised that right and dawdled with getting going.

Yesterday I changed my contact prescription back to the original one we were using before trying several tweaks... each changed lense was giving me headaches after hours on computer at the office and I was using readers to see the fine type.. whew, today was so much better. It made for a good day at the office at this time of year when you need to be able to move at the speed of sound, and not make a mistake because you couldn't exactly "see" what your doing...

Tonight Greg is dining with clients for a second night in a row, although I do get invited, I don't always take him up on it. Without my night time walking partner, it is very easy to contemplate just "skipping" the attempt and stay here, but I am liking the direction that the scale is reading, and know that it won't continue unless I put in the extra time. So time to hit the streets before I change my mind...

a day in the life....

Well, today started out normally in that Virginia and I walked on time at the route surrounding our neighborhood, and than when I got home the headache was mounting.. so I thought I'll just take some advil and lay down for a few minutes in my walking getup.. well that was actually a couple of hours with my hood around my eyes trying to reduce any sunlight. So I dragged myself into the shower and headed off to work. As the day progressed, the little drummer boy beat in my head did not improve and the burning drip in the upper spine reminded me that sometimes days are just not to much fun.... for me... But my new attitude (which takes a lickin at times) is to keep movinig forward regardless of how the body is feeling, and to rest when I can, but to not let it slow me down... so yep, some days are like this and I just try not to cringe and sit on the sidelines. scheduled a complete spinal MRI for saturday afternoon unless I can get in earlier.

I worked from 10am- 7pm, when I got home, I changed into my walking shorts, sweatshirt and Greg and I walked over to Uncle Petes and gave him a tree ornament that we found in ours "of a crossing guard holding up a STOP" sign... that is the job he has in Cerritos and thought we'd gift it to him.. and so 2.4 miles later we were home.. It feels later than 9:15 right now, but glad that it's not.. Nice to have some down time before bed.

Tuesday night is a girls night out for a group from work... we do this on the occasion we can all work it in, so happy hour at El Torito ~ I guess we will call it our Christmas gathering. I just hope to be able to get out of the office in time to enjoy some of it. .99 taco night. Thankfully Greg has to entertain clients for dinner and so this gets me out of that! yea...

good night, time for bed!

Sunday summations...

We were blessed by a terrific worship service and Jason Brown's sermon.. Although without my notes I took in front of me, I won't do the synopsis it's due justice but it was unlike anything I've ever heard.. that Jesus disappoints us! yep thats right, Jesus disappoints us because He doesn't do things that make sense to us, we want him to be different in reacting like WE would react and not to require of us what he expects us to do with our lives. So we live in the tension of what we want, and knowing we should do what he wants. The wrestling is what he wants us to do, know we are loved, loved, loved by him but also that he wants us to know we aren't okay in how we're living our lives. We don't like to be told the truth by those who love us, we want them to tell us we are okay... Amen!

After lunch at home of homemade soup and sandwiches, we watched a bit of the football game between Dallas and Pittsburgh.. I couldn't keep my eyes open and so thought I'd head upstairs and just "rest" for awhile... well, it turned into an implosion as I slept for about 3 hours If Greg had not come up to let me know the dinner he made was ready - his dinner of infamous goulash - I probably would have just crawled under the covers and stayed there the rest of the night, like rip vanwinkle for whom at times I think I share in common his ability to sleep.... well, the long sleep did nothing for the headache which not much does affect it. Tonight after dinner, I attacked the box of ornaments that were haunting me the last few days sitting next to the tree needing to be taken care of. So now it's is done and looks tremendous and only took a little over an hour to accomplish. Now for the christmas cards! hmmm, maybe next week

Tonight Ashley and us were texting back and forth and she asks was dad serious that I could quit, Yes, Yes, YEs, she put in her two weeks notice to disneyland.. Jan 2nd is her last day, unless they don't give her the Christmas weekend off and than it could be much sooner. YEA! After 5.5 years there it is long overdue and she is set to finish her one last semester and we want it to be free from the distraction of working. She has her student loan set up and it will be repaid when she is accepted into the "job" she has applied for and will know in January of her acceptance. This being her last Christmas at home for some time with us, makes it one we would like her to be able to spend with all of the family get-togethers planned. I will write about ner new Job at a later time.

I'm sure that I will be able to sleep tonight regardless of the nap, and the alarm to walk goes off early... so goodnight.

another day at the races..

The last couple of days have been a constant flurry of activity and rushing.. I just sat down at home on my bed to breathe for the minute and turned on the USC/UCLA game we had been listening to on sirius radio. I think if I sit here for more than just a minute before I have to jump in shower I will easily fall asleep, but we have to leave again shortly.

Friday, I worked a short day starting at 5am and than hustled out the office door to get to a 10am dr appt.. accomplished that quickly and than met as scheduled a friend for lunch. Always lots to talk about and so had to hustle home at 1pm for a quick shower and out the door with Greg to Pasadena Community college 3pm watching Fullerton JC in volleyball state championship series.. Daughter of family friends Michelle Jansen plays for them. They won against Feather River college in four games.. Greg and I stayed around and watched Irvine Valley play Santa Rosa, than headed for downtown Pasadena and ate dinner at Ruth Chris's Steak house.. paid a small fortune for dinner and than headed home having missed the traffic jam of the friday get away because it was now late! Hit the sack at 11:45.. yep I was exhausted.

This morning when alarm went off at 6am, I'd like to say I jumped up but laid there until the last possible moment and jumped up frantically at 6:30 with the rush to get it together and out the door for the day... 12 minutes and out the door... nope, it wasn't anything special, but it wasn't bed head either.. I met with my friends for the study we are doing together Beth Moore "A Womens Heart" and than got to the next study group at 9:40 late that I help with where we are doing Beth Moores "Living Beyond Yourself" on the fruit of the Spirit.. Amazing they both tie together very well for learning... both of them ran late today and so I got home at 11:50 having gotten a text msg from Michelle that they lost their first game against Fresno City and were playing at 1pm (had they won it would have been 4pm) so Greg and I hustled out there and unfortunately they lost in three games and finished 5th in state of 85 teams in there school size.. so outstanding even in the less than desired outcome.

Arrived home at 3:30 and we will be going with friends Frank/Virginia to the 7:30 football game of Chapparal vs Centennal Corona CIF football game in Corona (45 minute drive). A son of river friends Steve and Lauri's Jacob and old church friends is a junior on the team. The friends we are going with are avid football'ers from watching our sons. Virginia and I walk every morning together, so we love to watch sports.... and whenever theres someone we know, we will go. Heck gas is only $1.71 so you can afford to go again...

oops, time has gone by and now I need to hustle once again into the shower cuz this body needs to be woken up and bed head redone!

Wednesday whispers

Well, after two nights of adding a second walk in the evening of 2.2 miles to the 2. miles in the morning I already do... tonight I/Greg took a break as the ankle is pretty bit sore, ahh not a surprise but not going to let it get out of control either. One more night left this week to get in the extra exercise.

So I used the night to get the tree up and lit. We have a tub of the stuff (what is it anyway, in our fridge) called "I can't believe it's not butter" And so in light of that, on Saturday we went out shopping for and purchased our replacement "I can't believe it's not a real tree" at Sams Club after an exhausting hunt for "realness vs price" at many establishments.. We saw everything under the sun to choose from "that didn't look like it qualified as a tree", to "WOW for a couple of $1000 bucks it should be a real tree from a forest!" So the tree we got was one-a great price and second-it tooks fantastic! Last night Greg loved the part that it is pre-lit with 1500 lights he doesn't have to untangle, and/or find that burnt out bulb causing havoc, just unfold it.. so tonight was actually turning it on and "fluffing it out to look perfect"... Now I'm considering "hmmm do we really need ornaments" okay, sure, it does (ugh) but not tonight, since they need to be brought in from the rafters of the garage. I think the boys are planning a rock paper scissors contest as to who has to help dad drag all the decoration containers to the house. Greg has already decided that this tree is not going into it's provided narrow storage bag after scrunching it up to fit after Christmas. I will instead be buying a king size sheet (or donating ours) and drapinig it over and tying it up and setting it in the 3rd garage as it looks now.. That does sound like a great idea.. I mean the part about using our sheet so I can get new ones! always an angle if you look for it.

Well, I need to get some study work done, as much as I'd love to continue watching "lost worlds" on the History channel and the archealogical digs and finds of ancient cities. Amazing the technology they used to build the enormous structures down to ivory cups.. It's also one way to travel to places you couldn't possibly ever do on your own, although I'd like to see some in person. I am thankful for the History channel.

conversing on employers

Today at the office we were discussing employer types, pros and cons of working with and for them. We shared instances;

One type is the employer with no people skills, has angry encounters in dealing with situations, lack of integrity, poor business practices, and yet expecting you to show up for work with a terrific desire to make them successful while incurring demeaning comments, degrading reviews.. The adult acts like a bully and the young adult doesn't react well to it. Toxic. Desiring you to want to excel beyond what they train you to do or are allowed to perform and than they degrade you for not being there yet.... This individual claims to be christian, yet they do not exude any bit of Jesus. Pay remained minimal, which went along with being told your replaceable, worthless..... After the end of the relationship, they still are out to slander you to future employers with complete untruths and to acquantances. But they seem the worse for wear in that they have a life that is bitter and sad and not so profitable. The ex employee struggles afterward for awhile, but is relieved it's over.

On the other hand, a different employer in the same line of work.. Lays out what is expected of you, treats you respectfully, pays you a terrific wage and a look into what the future could hold for you in the long run. You work hard and are rewarded quickly in pay. They than ask if you will purchase some of the tools for yourself for the job to be a lead, consider a bigger truck to pull a trailer and than give you a payraise toward this end. Will you work 8-12 hour days - yes gladly, sometimes weekends- yes gladly. They teach you every skillset you are not strong in presently, they train you to do more skilled craftsman features like staining wordwork, building vanity furniture, tiling.. overall, they make you a better employee by bringing you along for the future of yourself and for the success of their company. They hold business dinners, including you in discussing how well they/you are doing, new jobs they have coming up and that they want to help each of them to make a good living and are very pleased with the way they all work together. The bonus is that they are Christians who model Jesus in every area both on the job and in private life. They mentor and encourage, hold a weekly breakfast bible study with the employees. This same individual is a better person, and is highly motivated to do better in every part of his life. And the company he works for is completely blessed by the Lord.

We all have Jesus name on us, do we wear it well and reap blessings.. or do we wear it poorly and reap despair? It is our choice and an important one for many of the fruit of the spirit; joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, self control..

Monday musings

alrighty, as the day is winding down, for me it's been a busy stressful day in-between the wakeup alarm melody at 5:30 & the foggy walk of 2. miles and the ending walk with the hubby of 2.2 miles after his dinner.. I've been walking daily (minus a few must miss days) for about 2 months now and had lost 15 lbs, eating lean cuisine for lunches, and avoiding the vending machine and fast food... I than put 5 of them back on and so am now stepping the exercise up a notch and will add some variety in the garage using the punching bag and weight bench... Looking to get back into "fighting shape" for middle age life creeping up on me...

The Christmas season at my office only had to make moderate changes for peak season that started today for the fluctuation of post Thanksgiving shipping and will continue for the next three weeks. So it's a bit busy today in getting the appropriate materials created over the last two weeks posted for employees to route the brown boxes to the correct destinations and computer training re-worked... So ship UPS we are ready to handle your packages no matter what you need BROWN to do for you!

I received a voice mail from the surgeons office today, that they had received the denial letter. She said they weren't surprised, usually denied once. The Dr. will be dictating the appeal letter and the negotiations will begin. She said hang in there, there are confident that they are this far with it.. and will let me know when it is completed and sent out.

and now a shower and crawling into bed are the only things left on the agenda! good night

Sunday afternoon

Well Sunday is never just another morning started with bland worship. We are very fortunate at ERC and blessed by the worship service of music which is where we can pour out our gratitude of a thankful heart and one that is surrendered to growing closer to our Lord and Saviour. And than the pouring in came when, Pastor Bill brought part two of the two part series "firm footing in a falling economy"... The economy has brought on instabilty in jobs, housing, investments.. Last week In Luke 11 we read "Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples", when you pray, say: Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, Give us this day our daily bread..... Pastor Bill, telling us that hallowed means "to be made sacred, to be holy" that the Lord puts his name on us, do we wear it well... do we trust him that his kingdom must be first and that he will provide us our daily bread? with no worries, no fear, no anxieties. God is commanding us to ask for our daily bread, and he promises to answer us.

Today Pastor Bill read from scripture: Acts 14: 21-22 "strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God". WHAT? it's actually in the bible that life won't be easy... Yep, that in order for us to lean in to the Lord, we will be challenged, and built up in our souls by the trials of hardships. That we MUST go through them, not around them in order to mature. Have you ever just felt that your always facing the same thing over and over again... Are you needing to face up to a wall that you prefer to go around doing the same thing, but than the wall just keeps appearing... Is it time to face it, rather than be bloodied by running into it? Can you not see the new thing he is doing? YOU CAN see the kingdom of God while here on earth in our homes, our families, our relationships, our work, our ministry when we are strong in our faith? Pastor Harold also encouraged us that "hard times are heavenly times, for God to work in us and teach us" - that refiners fire of taking away that which hinders us in life from experiencing Gods best..
http://www.erc.la/ and you can always hear any sunday sermon.

What I'm Thankful for

Today I was reading a blog and he had a list of who and what he was thankful for. And I decided to come up with a list as well. Often we "lump" our blessing together as generalities of thanks.

• I am thankful for my parents who grounded me with love and generosity in Christian faith as the example to follow in my own life.
• I am thankful for Greg who has stuck with me through the for better and the worse, and who could not be a more loving, attentive husband, father to our children, loving son, and friend.
• I am thankful for my daughter Ashley and sons Brian & Shane who could not make this mother any prouder and blessed.
• I am thankful for two sisters who love me just as I am.
• I am thankful for in-laws, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews who provide the richness of family in my life.
• I am thankful for Bonnie, Susan, Cassandra, Nancy & Virginia who offer me their friendship and encouragement as they also hold me accountable for the choices I make in my life. There unconditional love and wisdom helps me seek to become a better woman, wife and mother.
• I am thankful for Bill, Patsy & Eliseo, Tanya & Shane, Brent, Gary, Penny, Ana, Jackie & Joe, and all the many friends in my life, both male and female, who offer me a loving community. They are who gently encourage and challenge me to be the person I was created to be. And who graciously allow me to serve alongside of them in ministry.
• I am thankful for my church family at Emmanuel, and whose members provide me with the unmeasurable blessings of friendship, accountability, support, grace, and love.
• And last but certainly not least - I am thankful to God who offers his unconditional love and grace to me in spite of what my sinful nature would have me deserve, and who continues to mold and shape me into a unique individual for his own good will and pleasure. His example of sacrificial love for me and forgiveness from my wrongdoings, is what I am called to give to others.

Who or what are you thankful for?

on a funny note!

With the economy slumping and well, the uncertainty of future earnings.. our 401K so methodically managed in good times seems like it's a possible 201K plan currently. While away for the weekend, we came across a funny possibility of a flash back for a "retirement home" should we come upon hard times.. This is a definite fixer upper!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

it does rain in So Cal.. yeah!

Well, tonight is the first real rain here in so cal in a long time and it comes at the start of our rainy season which is good news. For this I am thankful. The forecast is for quite a bit I've been told. After taking a road trip up north recently and having seen the reservoirs just so depleted of resources, it needs to rain hard and snow deeply this year and for many years to come. The picture shows where the water line should be (near trees) and where it is.. this is what all of them look like in CA. And for those of us who live in this cement jungle of suburbia where water is in short supply for the demand we have created in the sprawl of overdevelopment. Water is a valuable resource we could be out of quickly. I cringe EVERY day as my elderly neighbor wakes up early and hoses down the entire length of her patio and driveway which is perhaps 100 ft long and it just pours out into the street and goes nowhere. Now I like a cleaned off driveway after a dust or ash storm, but have come to appreciate that less often is more and I'm not going to be eating off of it. Apparantly my neighbor is prepared for just such an occurence of feasting at the shrine of her cement drive.

Unfortunately for those who just recently had fires raging, it is going to be a tough go to keep the mud at bay. But steps are being taken by individuals, communities and state forestry fast and furiously to add ground cover sprayed over the landscape, those big hay bale looking snakes and diversions to keep the flow from overtaking residents.... but in some regards, it's a cycle that can't be avoided with the urban sprawl where "people" have desired to creep into the hillsides, wilderness and build into its landscape. You can't win when mother nature is your adversary.

So certainly we need to pray for rain in moderate amounts at a time so that it doesn't run off, and for those who are in for a fight to keep the mud from invading there living space we pray for them as well.

And the verdict is in.....

Well after 5 weeks of waiting for the process of letter writing, proofreading, re-issuing another version, and than sending it off to Aetna... Yes, this morning, my spy V" once again called into the Aetna insurance contact Julie who is the nurse reviewer who actually had an answer. "V" was told that Ramone had been contacted in the specialist office of Dr. Ferkel and ....... the case was DENIED. WHAT? Due to someones outstanding reasoning at Aetna that "the case falls outside of the parameters of policy for experimental procedures where the results are unfounded". ugh! I was stunned, than tearful at the letdown, than in the midst of setting a pity party for one, and than just sullen..... (no susan, I didn't follow through on pity plans)

the WHAT? Is this just a standard business practices denial to make them file the appeal for the sake of time delay ... possible, which sometimes is to deny 8 times.. The WHY? most likely because no FDA approval for surgery procedure gives them the ability to deny and not have to justify.. NEXT? I don't know exactly, but they had mentioned prior that they would appeal, so I will assume that is what they-the dr's staff (when they find out) will begin to investigate into.

If this same procedure were prescribed for a knee with this same condition... it's FDA approved, no problem in just getting insurance to precertify as a simple procedural step and away the patient goes along in the process. But for an ankle - no dice in America.

*****

Today, I also experienced a reoccurance of the pain in upper spine that the 8 injections were to "block".... not a good sign, and a blow to my psychee!

*****

Tomorrow I will need to work on my attitude for the "thanksgiving" feast approaching, today I can't muster it.

Saturday a day of relative rest...

Well, it's been a busy week, and today I just didn't respond to the 5:30 a.m. alarm, so I missed my 7 a.m. study group with friends which is a bummer in hindsight, but just couldn't do it... and was still struggling at 8:30 to get going, but a quick shower and made it to church at 9:1o for the 9:00 study... pretty good I thought and looked pretty much like I usually do, ha ha ha ha !

After a quick trip to the grocery store, the rest of the day has been "down time" and letting the body just settle down with no activity.

Friday night Brians girlfriend April got a group of people together at PF Changs for a surprise dinner for Brian.. all week he was sure she was planning something. We just ignored him, and after we had gotten together on Thursday, hoped that help to dispell the notion. So Friday afternoon he says with his fingers as quotations that he "thinks she's surprising him with a cake at her house" okay, nice I responded. He's passing us in the house after he's ready and about to leave, I wished him a good trip and to call and let us know they arrived, and I than asked him "which movie he thought we should go see Changling or the new Bond movie" and he said "oh go see Changling" okay that will be what we porbably do. And as soon as he left to go to Aprils, we all piled in the car and head to the restuarant down along the ocean. Yes, he was surprised and didn't even notice when he walked in that we were all sitting at the front table staring at him, and than he noticed.. Surprise! so now that he's enjoyed two days of celebrating his birthday, he than left on a week of vacation to AZ with April, her dad and some family for Thanksgiving.

injections completed

The Thursday process at the surgicenter was a little longer as the doctor showed up late, and had to confirm insurance covereage for the change in treatment before he would start. As the orders were showing the epidural and I didn't sign the consent until he had the right procedure written down or faxed from office...... Once the doctor arrived and made a phone call all was cleared and away we went. And yes, 4 injections on either side of my neck had some twinges of pain/burning as it occured which was expected and I was stiff and sore afterwards with ice being my friend all night and I could once again take advil for the throbbing headache. Which after 3 months of them, this was a doozy. This morning, headache is much better, and stiffness is also.

At this point, verdict isn't in as to success or not but will see how next week goes. I tend to be optimistically cynical at this point~ thats probably a new usuage for those two words, but oh well.

It has long been diabetic "good news" so far for me for 28 years, , eyes are good, heart, kidneys, wounds heal nicely,all organs functioning terrific. But there have just been things along the way in the last 10 years that have made for annoyances of carpal tunnel both hands, torn rotator cuff that shoulder fell out of socket, compartmentization (poor circulation in both legs) and now the ankle dilemna, trigger finger in left hand needing two PAINFUL steriod shots to keep hand open (to avoid surgery), and the herniated discs in back ... Most all these where surgeries undertaken to clear these up because all other forms of treatment don't work that has just been ANNOYING ANNOYING ANNOYING. ENOUGH ALREADY is what I find myself thinking some days as my schedule is filled with dr appts, treatments... and continuing to work around the schedules. You buck up under it, and I'm thankful for resolution of them as they come up, but..... UGH. And than I will read the Buccowish blog of there struggles with the cancer treatment of Susan and how there lives have once again been turned upside down and yet he just exudes confidence in the Lord and how it has been tough but they have drawn closer to God and to each other... and I'm blesses and encouraged by there display of faith. That's the faith that I so desire to exude as well and God is good to have blessed me to have the highest quality of trained medical advisers.
Off to work so that I have insurance!

He turned 21 today

Today is the 21st birthday of our second child and oldest son, Brian Jeffrey who came in weighing a scrappin' 6lbs 11oz & 19 inches, but is now standing in at 6'1". He was the only one of our kids whose planned C-section (scheduled for two weeks prior to due date) was pushed forward by a week when I tested for toxemia and high blood pressure on the last office visit on a Friday afternoon. So (before cell phones) had to track Greg down on the road and tell him I was heading over to the hospital and he needed to hustle and can you remember the camera's... and hurry... While off the top of my head, I don't remember the exact time, but it was sometime in the early evening, Brian was born to very excited parents. Due to my diabetes and his early arrival, he was in the NICU for a few extra days, and his jaundice levels were extremely high. So once he was released, every day for two weeks (even on Thanksgiving day) we trucked out to the OC hospital for a bilirubin test. In the mean time, he was basking in the sunshine in our living room in front of the big picture window in his sisters doll cradle (perfect fit) where he was taking in the daily vitamin C to fight the jaundice... someday I will come across those photos and scan them! So Brian, it has been a quick arrival to this day, from where we once stood as new parents of a son, and the memories have just been incredibly filled with joy, struggles, and some funny instances.. Like the broken toe at around 4 yrs old jumping into the Burger King balls where there was lacking enough balls to protect your feet from the supports-but you thought the orange cast was awesome. And all the yearly family ski/snowboarding/wakeboarding trips to the Sierra's and the Colorado River since you were born that has you hooked on them all. The athlete you have always been has adapted to many venues that we cheered enthusiastically in the stands for; soccer, baseball, football, volleyball from a young age and now with the mens softball team you are on with high school friends. And the infamous skateboard jump at age 15, at Evan's house that busted up your left arm pretty badly and was a long ordeal to repair by a surgeon with rods and anesthesia!!!! Over the years my insurance has gotten a work out from all three of you for the oddest of things, but we were there with you to get you back on your feet for it all. This reminiscing could go on indefinitely, but at some point I will get those pictures and the stories into a book before demetia sets in and I forget.

Well Brian (scooter), the man you are coming into your own at this moment brings me peace, joy, gratitude and a very easy feeling that you will be well. I am also impressed with the young woman April who has captured your heart and her yours (and tamed some of the rough edges) who is someone whose belief in the Lord is guiding both of you. Read/listen to the birthday gift I gave you and learn how to care for it wisely under God's leadership and understanding.

The birthday guy turns 21

the siblings Shane 18, Ashley 23, and the birthday guy Brian
Brian and his mom (dad is out of town)
the gang who went to celebrate, along with grandparents VanEssen at SuperMex

Brian and April

the brothers

Grandpa and Grandma with Brian

new direction on epidural's

At the Pain Management group 7 weeks ago for the first time I saw a PA (physician's assistant) and she conferred with the orthopedic that epidurals treatments were called for to resolve pain from herniation in disc's. Had the epidural a month ago, no change but it was a one of three plan. Today I see the Dr. Kim and he says that he would not have recommended the epidurals, but instead a different course of treatment which his conviction as to it giving the best results and quickly know if it works.... but it's 8 injections, ugh, called cervical facet steroid injections.

If it's as easy and quick as the last time, I will be hopeful! So 1pm is the appointment at surgicenter.

status of insurance letter

Well, the 21 page document is still in review, my watchdog friend Virginia made another inquiry todayand will call again on Friday.. so no news is good news until otherwise indicated! Keep praying for approval, and than we'll work out the details of when after that.

our weekend getaway

My first attempt at downloading pictures, so pardon the random out of order from what I intended. We left home on Friday mid morning and in short order we were in an area on hwy 91 & 15 that was having 60 mph gusts and tossed our little car around pretty much. We drove about 5 hours to Bishop, CA for the night, small western town where hunters and fishing is a tourism draw and Mule days on Memorial wknd. Saturday we drove into Mammoth Mountain to see the new construction they were working on for a new area and to have a look see at the main lodge for snow, lots of skiers hitting the slopes already. It was great weather for those of us (me) who'd like fair weather skiing & no wind as inviting! We than continued on hwy 395 north driving through some varying landscapes of mountains, openness, lakes, old ghost towns we've been to previously, and stopped in Bridgeport for lunch. We were the only ones in the restuarant and struck up a conversation with the owner who was soon buying us our bowls of soup to go with our great sandwiches. We struck out again, traversing some real back country, or so we thought until the highway patrolman who passed us was suddenly turning around. Could it be that he was just heading home for lunch..... nope, apparently we had just passed the change of speed limit sign down to 55 and we (well HE) was going 69.... so as we're going through the process and he walks back to the side of the car for the signing his X on the line, mr patrolman asks us "how long have you had your front windows tinted" uh... since we bought the car, "well it's illegal blah blah blah blah" but fortunately for Greg who is already doing the insurance rate increase of $$ math in his head for the next three years is excited that he just offered him a warning for the speed in exchange for the fix it ticket on the windows... YES thank you........ where do I sign and nice meeting you.. and away we go. Thankfully Greg was still in a good and thankful mood. Had to laugh as Gregs comment was "nice place to be stopped for a ticket with the colors and the sound of the creek" ha ha ha ha - if you know Greg, that is a very optimistic view of the situation. Onward we go, catching hwy 89 to 4 which was the first pass open to cross the Sierra's to the west. It was quite a drive of winding, narrow at times with some beautiful colors in foilage and some snow. We stayed in historic Jamestown, a small town built on tourism but they rolled up the sidewalk fairly early for a Saturday we're now somewhat wishing we had stayed one town back in Angels Camp which was much bigger. But we headed to a town close by Sonora for dinner and than a good night sleep. Sunday we suddenly wake at 10 am, realizing Yosemite was still quite a drive and we had to get hustling. We arrived in Yosemite about 2ish and drove through as much as we could, as the shuttles had to be taken for some areas. We parked in day parking and walked the trails taking in the wildlife, fall colors, and the waterfalls. Beautiful and you could easy spend a week there. We left just after dark for what seemed like another long winding drive and stayed in Oakhurst in another hotel on our travels just glad to have customers and who slashed prices in the competive war to our benefit. Monday we headed home about 5 hours to have basically made a complete circle around the Sierra Mountain range. And a side note; Greg kept his promise to not take phone calls (only 2 short ones) and I laid low on mine. Great weekend and hmmmm where to next? as we walked towards the stables looking for bathrooms, noticed our little friend to greet us

the infamous half dome as the sun was setting

lower Yosemite Falls after a short hike


Bridal Veil Falls


North of Yosemite on hwy 4 - a relaxing scenic drive

same highway, higher elevation we came across snow

this is hwy 395 heading into Mammoth Lakes, CA

yea for the weekend!

I am sooooo excited that today (thursday) was my friday at work and that monday doesn't come until tuesday for returning! This saturday is completely freed up with no study because it is ERC's compton workday... I am seizing the moment to get out of town and into the wide open spaces (yes, we will have to drive a ways to get there) Not sure where were heading but thought maybe Yosemite, or to Mammoth, Tahoe and so we will see where we end up??????? I had no problem with going on my own, or Greg could certainly join me BUT the criteria was for Friday and Monday NO PHONE CALLS - total vacation days (unlike the norm) and nothing resembling the routine! He agreed and so tomorrow morning we head out..but of course we have to drop off in Riverside something something to a customer of his and than we will head out towards the north... Funny thing is we had dinner with his manager Bill and a major vendor Steve on Wednesday night and so I just informed them pleeeease DO NOT CALL HIM and they laughed and I just will hope they will not or visa versa!

So next week I'll let you know where we went.. good night.

Late Thursday night

Wow, it has been a looooong day, and yet, here I sit with History channels "cities of the underworld" on and I've catching bits and pieces of it with tired eyes... Even though I get up at 5:30 to walk with a friend, my mind refuses to give up at the late hour of 11pm either, while my body should have revolted and walked upstairs anyway!

Tonight was the celebration dinner for Alpha, which is the wrap up of the 10 weeks of the session. It's been for me as a small group leader, really a rollercoaster of an emotional time. And yet tonight, an older woman asked me to forgive her for some tough conversations on the phone when I'd call her, where she had been less than kind, less than receptive to getting together as we had agreed and just really like leave me alone. She admitted to being downright mean, and that her grandson had been over when I called and he overheard her, and asked her what was going on. So J.P. counseled her, and so tonight she was absolutely warm, sincere and apologetic - and about the time she was finished talking, I just reached over and HUGGED her long and hard, and said that I forgive you.. and I truly care about you. Our last phone conversation just this week, and I can only best describe as an ICE COLD BATH dumped over my head and it stung... Now I had believed in a conversation weeks before had asked me to walk her through the steps of learning more about love of God with encouragement, listening to the questions and seek the direction and as a sounding board. I was bummed, sorry that I had caused her to feel that she was just not going to come back to church, or to saturday study group... and thankfully I was able to restrain my comments (rolling in my head to unleash) and encourage her to continue walking forward, to not isolate herself from getting together with others who would fellowship in the same learning from God's word and each other. So I found some counsel from two friends, and just didn't make many moves one way or the other, but wasn't quite ready to give up altogether. So tonight, I was relieved that the door is still open and we will see where it goes from here, I told her not to be feeling that anything of me is required but that if she wants me to, I am still willing completely.. She just said "I love you (with tears in her eyes) and thank you" and hugged me.. God is good.

PTL - my case is under advisement

I got a call this morning from Dr. Ferkel's assistant/scheduler Natalie that as of yesterday, everything had been faxed to Aetna. I now have a nurse advisor attached to a reference number that will overlook the case as presented...... amen... So it's made big progress in a short amount of time and we will soon know the answer.

So join me in praying for the Aetna people that they will be receptive to the steps that have been taken in the last two years, the expertise of the surgeon and that there is no alternative treatment.
thank you

lack of good behavior by media

Alright, I have nearly given up any newscast in the last year (mainstream media boycott) and during the election chose foxnews channel or its website for what little bit of input I needed about ANYTHING. Now it isn't so much that I have no compassion for what is going on that would be reported about what is considered news in the world. But the overwhelming entertainment overload of celebrity stories that the major channels led with on CBS, NBC, ABC was the opening story and about all of those not going to be named people as though they were close family gossip amongst our own family reunions. I DON'T KNOW THEM NOR DO I want to hear about there lives ever changing details of partying, jail stints, one nighters there surprised are over already, breakups of the casual dinner daters, marriages, swapping, infidelity, divorces, rehab stints.... are you feeling me as to it's irrelevant and sad that there is enough interest in those who do wish to peer in that it has the media doing anything and everything to bring it to the world. Excuse me, there is War, famine, drought, hunger, torture, brokenness, to bring to light for compassion and action. And there is plenty of good things going on in America of those who step up for mankind, a Compton Initiative started with our church 3 years ago where thousands get together to paint, prune, clean, spruce up homes, schools, parks, THAT KIND OF PICK UP YOUR SOUL journalism that will inspire those who are unable to donate $5 bucks to millions of green backs, but would donate 4 hours to humanity... That is what is missing from the airwaves. go to ERC.LA and check it out and get involved in doing good. Gal 6:10 do not grow weary doing good......

My second thing I wish to blow steam off about is election coverage before and after; OMG grow up and be the civil society that we claim the rest of the world should seek to want.. We teach our kids from a young age to play in sporting competitions to the best of their ability, and when the game is over and someone will be a winner or the loser decided on by score (unless you live in Orange County, CA no score is kept so junior is ALWAYS a winner) but than you as either the gracious winner or gracious loser, meet the team in the middle and shake hands or high five and say "good game".. But in the adult world, we conduct a long drawn out and expensive bid for the white house. (why do we have budgeting problems, when so much money goes down the drain) During the election and/or when it's over and decided, media broadcasters are mean, unkind, mean spirited, blamers, slanderous, boastful, self righteous, pretenders.. Why can't it just be gracious winning, and gracious losing and wish the other person well and than move onto the business of running government without so much ugly commentary. But than again, I've turned off those stations and go back to the Discovery, History, Western movie channels and relax!

Exodus 20: Commandment #9- thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor

James 3:5-6 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider that a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire.

husbands calming words

As time is ticking & in these economic times fret over the $1000 bucks out of pocket - husband replies with this "Right now we are just praying for approval, and if the date is in 2009, that is okay, we will just pay the very moderate amount toward the max out of pocket again and than we will be in the same place for the rest of that year" hmmmmm, that's true and brought me some much needed insight for patience.

meeting of the minds on my behalf

While I haven't any idea how long this entire process will really take. I was a bit taken aback today while speaking with Tammy the manager, who called me, and as she's talking, mentions that a surgical date that will be put into the letter being drafted for insurance is February 6.... UGH! The dollar signs were quickly rolling through my mind as Tammy was explaining what was going on from "her perspective". Thankfully I had talked with Natalie the scheduler on Friday and so am still holding onto the belief that there is a chance for 2008 if approval comes. And Tammy did say that it would be up to Natalie and the dr's schedule...

Tammy's report to me was that Debra my case manager and Natalie were getting together this afternoon. So if enough information has been pulled together to make the first attempt as good as any appeal letter, than we will be good to go. She said to give the process the rest of the week and if I hadn't heard anything, call next Monday.... I added a few of my 2-cent suggestions that would help the doctor; when he has a case such as this that he could lay it out to the patient a little more explanatory so that if there is a situation of insurance/money issues, they can be started sooner rather than later. Hence I would have given the okay two months earlier rather than wating. unaware of what was involved. And secondly, that there office have some basic bullet points of what information makes for the best letter for the tough cases, so that the dr.'s time was focused at one time rather than in splinters of chasing him for it.

So unless I get a call sooner, I'll be waiting patiently (yes patiently)

Friday conversation with scheduler

This morning I called Natalie the scheduler to see if we were still on for the preop appt on Tuesday (I knew we weren't, but she had said to hold onto it for now).. so it is cancelled and this is what they are working on BEFORE it gets faxed to Aetna. Nov 17 was original surgery date.

Natalie has contacted several times the Genzyme company seeking successful reports and case studies on the success of this procedure being done (don't know if they are the cadaver bone or cartilage cell provider). But that she is also accumalating my own case notes and pictures to place in the letter. She said that while this is a sloooow process, that my case is moving along much faster and with more fervor than any of the other ones they are seeking approval for.. So that was assuring, and I'd truly like to offer my services in there office to make it go faster... She said to call her back next week and that she would let me know if they had it finalized and/or it was being sent. And to HANG IN THERE, she understands that it is painful and getting is done before end of year.

So I will wait and continue to trust that this won't be a 17 week wait as predicted (3 weeks and counting)

shared comment from coworker on Prop 8

On Wednesday after the election, a co-worker Nancy who is a supervisor on preload had a conversation with another co-worker of mine Lisa... and this is what Nancy told Lisa when they were discussing the election. We were stunned and blessed... not having expected it.

Nancy's statement; "I voted Yes on Prop 8, because my parents have been married for 50 years and for me or any of the rest of the gay/lesbian community to think we deserve the same rights and priveleges that God set forth in the bible is ridiculous. And it would be a slap in the face to my parents. I have a civil union for that last 12 years with my partner Sue. I got that only because when Sue was sick in the hospital, I thought her daughter who dispises me would ban me from seeing her in the hospital."

Now Nancy is a hard working individual, who truly has a coarse and crude use of language when speaking, and doesn't have much of a view of God for her life sppecifically. And honestly I've had to ask her many times not to say G-dammit when we are talking and she will laughingly acknowledge it isn't right and a bad habit. So for her to make this statement on prop 8, just brings up for me the point that some people who are in the midst of a sinful lifestyle can know they are outside of God's will and design, and yet be comfortable knowing that they are outside of Gods plan, but she has also an ability to know that Gods plan is right as it is laid out in scripture. The easiest part is to just continue to talk with Nancy, she knows we (my office room mate) are christians because we are always listening to talk radio KKLA, Jeannie speaks right to her about God's love, and WE DON'T talk like some of the rest of the office/warehouse employees in order to get our point across........ we don't blast her for being different, sinful, just love her and pray that the brokenness will be the talking point that gives us the opportunity someday..

patience is not my virtue!

Monday the insurance rep (Debra) says that the letter from the doctor was missing a couple of crucial details, and he was in surgery all day, but that he's good about returning messages. She had hoped that Tuesday she would have the corrected letter faxed onward. So Tuesday I did nothing...... On Wednesday I called and left another voice messages in the doctor office insurance world.. and so today I frustratingly left one for the rep handling my case in the doctors office and one for her supervisor (Tammy) as to "why" is it taking so long to receive an answer as to the status from Debra.

I have a friend Virginia who works in a local doctors office and she has been doing some of the investigative work with the Aetna side of it, and she called today and NOTHING is what they know of me not having received any fax.. so that is when I called the supervisor Tammy..

Tonight just 10 minutes before closing time, I called the supervisor again, and got a hold of her. She apologized (yawn!) about her not responding today, she had computer problems and that put her behind... (yawn again!) She had just spoken with my case rep today who mentioned NOTHING about the delay in my case... and she knew had already left for the day. And she doesn't work Fridays..
WHAT? UGH.. So Tammy gave me her word that she was drafting an email as we spoke to Debra as to what was the status, is there anything that Tammy can do to speed it along, who needs to be contacted to resolve the delay.... and that she would call me Friday with an answer. So I asked is she going to answer her email on her day off, and she said yes, she's very good about keeping in touch with me... (JUST NOT ME-apparantly)

So If they thought I was a wilting flower and would just wait this beauracracy of red tape out with a patient smile - they now know that is a false belief, and I will call them everyday. Time is money on this if it drags over into 2009 with nothing started.

I'm frazzled but glad I made the last phone call today.

delayed

The letter that had advanced to the place of being faxed today... was delayed in that the doctor left out two important items and so she hoped he'd respond after his day in surgery and she'd make it happen Tuesday....
good grief...

Home rules...

I went to the Lighthouse Christian bookstore this weekend (with a 31% off coupon and a gift card from Brian) and found this tapestry and it is hanging in the hallway from kitchen to the family room.

Home Rules

Always be honest - Proverbs 12:22

Count your blessings - Psalm 34:1-3

Bear each others burdens - Galations 6:2

Forgive and forget - Micah 7:18

Be kind and tender hearted - Ephesians 4:32

Comfort one another - 1 Thessalonians 4:18

Keep your promises - Romans 4:21

Be supportive of one another - Acts 20:35

Be true to each other - Deuteronomy 15:11

Treat each other like you treat your friends - Matthew 7:12

But most important

Love One Another deeply from the heart - 1 Peter 1:22

prayer request update

Well after much phone calling this week to keep my file on the top of inbox for letter.. this is the status; Natalie Ray the Dr's assistant relayed to me by phone Friday.. The letter has been dictated, drafted, proofread and is currently on the desk as of yesterday Thursday of the Dr.'s insurance rep Debra Kaufman (who took Thur/Fri off this week) and so Monday she will be faxing it to Aetna insurance Transplant dept and the rough guess is that it will take a week and a response will be rendered. So please pray this process through now fervently as we know Monday Nov3rd it moves along via fax to the "powers that be" that the decision would be favorable for the surgery required as is laid out in the initial plan. thanks again..

In my investigative work here is a praise report: The company "carticel care" in Addison TX who has possesion of and will culture my cartilage cells at a cost of approx $30,000 is a *provider in-network* of Aetna insurance, which means that upon approval will be covered 100% by insurance for my situation in 2008. PTL

This link will take you to the website of my Dr Richard Ferkel and why I have complete trust in his abilities and that he is qualified to make this determination on my behalf. You can look up Talus Dome (foot) and see and read a little bit about it.http://scoi.com/doctors/detail_alpha.php?id=5&select=7&search=1

NO MATTER who wins

Top 10 Predictions No Matter Who Wins the Election:

1. The Bible will still contain eternal truths.

2. Prayer will still work.

3. The Holy Spirit will still move.

4. God will still inhabit the praises of His people.

5. There will still be those who will be saved.

6. There will still be His forgiveness, peace and love in abundance.

7. God will still pour out blessings upon His people.

8. The Lord will still be the same today, yesterday and forever.

9. He will still forgive all of our sins.

10. Jesus will still love with an everlasting love.

HE IS THE ONLY ONE IN CONTROL... HE IS OUR ONLY SOURCE OF HOPE, FAITH AND PEACE!!

Can you help?

okay, somewhere I tripped across how to add the "blog URL's" to my sidebar, but now it will only show 3 of the 9... why is that? and how do I get it to show all?

how do I shorten the posts to just the first line and than you have to click on them in order to read it entirely?
Thank ya in advance....... reading the help center gives me a headache with the vague innuendo.

time for bed, thankful that the clocks go back an hour tonight...

Saturday beautiful schedule

The afternoons of Saturday can so relaxing that late in the afternoon I than realize that I haven't thought through the menu's yet for the weekend. I have to really talk myself into seeing if there is anything that is ready to go completely and/or what needed item has to be picked up from the store. All this while I'm in the state of "no motivation to go out again" now that I'm home. ugh. So that is next on the agenda to accomplish quickly.

Brian came home a little while ago and he gave me the complete "fashion show" of all his newly purchased dirt bike gear of pants, shirts, chest protector, goggles that he got off of craigslist and the amount of money that he saved! "coupon savings" is a new mantra for him as his diesel truck payments and the ungodly insurance costs, and the gas for it are the major expenses that he has going right now. He was recently gifted with a dirt bike/helmet from his supervisor at work who was unloading his younger brothers stuff for his parents. Dirt biking is something he has taken an immense liking to after a couple of times doing it. He took April last saturday with friends and she enjoyed it also... A man after my own heart as I loved dirt bike riding and sometimes wish now that I had a motorcycle!

well, ugh.. off to the pantry and I'm sure to the grocery store for one or two ingredients..

Friday rain out

This morning the alarm goes off at 5:30 am and YEAH... it's raining.. so I crawled back into the warm bed for what was supposed to be a short snooze, oops, instead woke up couple hours later and than the scramble to get to work quickly. Mission accomplished and after an acceptable 6 hours headed out the door to run errands, and than Greg and I went to a movie, dinner and a run to Lowes.. Was mostly cloudy today with some sunshine afterall. On the way home tonight, we saw many churches with massive crowds for there Harvest festivals and the little tricker treaters.

I have a couple days worth of homework for Beth Moore study tomorrow that I need to get at... so goodnight.

blog setup for dummies

Anyone have some "easy steps" for dummies as to how to setup my front page adding like "the other blogs that I read" links? and any other tidbits for adding things. much appreciated.

Foggy walking

Didn't need the alarm to get up this morning to walk at 5:40am.. a couple of people in the house were already up and moving around long before that to start their day, so I just got up too. Over the last week there have been some pretty foggy days and it's usually when it's my turn to do the commuting to Virginia's house. But on the way home, with the sun just starting to "glow" through the eastern horizon, it gave the sky a "blue light" kind of shimmer which just looked beautiful for the brief time it was in the sky trying to bust through the damp air.

alright, enough reflecting, time to get ready for work... yea!

movie recommendations

I highly recommend the new release movie "the secret life of bees". It's really a chick flick I thought, not much that would captivate the testosterone sector, unless they want to impress you. Apparantly this has been a book.........

I love football and so the movie "Express" was a good one, you'd most likely have to rent this one by now. based on a true story.

"Fireproof" was another good movie - with a powerful message whether you are a husband/wife, mother/daughter, father/son.. there's redemption for all of us no matter whether the broken relationship is with the Lord or with family/friend. Sometimes both at once.

Tired Tuesday

Greg was gone overnight on a project in Ventura, and so I went to bed at a decent hour with the intention of doing some reading after finishing one show I had started downstairs. It's called Intervention... it is a show that can sometimes be predictable or very compelling. The first show ended and than on comes another of them and I didn't shut it off... It was about a young woman who had been a gifted and academic wiz, goes to Boston College for a double major in music and pre med. In her junior year her boyfriend introduces her to "huffing" and she becomes another person for many years. She just managed to scrape by in college only getting the music degree. And so they get her to agree to do a documentary on Addiction even though she has no idea that an intervention will be at some point occuring. But to watch this woman put this aerosol can sprayer into her mouth and squeeze the trigger was extremely difficult over the course of the hour long show, but I'm hooked because they don't always turn out victorious. It was shocking, she huffs 10-12 cans of computer duster a day, and it was just unreal the depth of the commitment she had to doing this in order to have a high that lasts only a few minutes. If you don't die from this, you bounce in and out of sobriety quickly as it only lasts 5 minutes. The best result you get is a brain numbness for the escape you desire, slurred speech, and disoriented lack of balance. Her life had tragedy involved at a young age, and a father who abandoned her. The lengths that her family went to over the years to save her, and even had her close to rock bottom by cutting off support and than she finds a sugar daddy to fund her by having her do some dispicable things for the cash...
The story ends with her fighting the intervention, but her family took action and called SPCA to take away her cats, called the sugar daddy and told him that if he didn't get rid of the apartment and stop contacting her immediately, they'd call his wife.. she hit rock bottom fast and did end up in a treatment center, and is now clean and sober... It took her about 8 months to clean up and get on stable ground emotionally and looked so much better. Whew, that show was filled with heartbreak, and was exhausting, ending late into the night... No wonder I didn't sleep well!

Saturday busyness

Last night ended late and the alarm set to go off 5:45am, I beat it by getting up at 4:30 just because the dream I was in, was stranger than fiction and it is still baffling me as to WHY was I dreaming that scenario anyway.... and that I remember the details.. bizarre.. So I got up and worked on putting together a handout for a bible study that I facilitate on saturday mornings. The broadcast was of Susie Larson - author of "the uncommon woman" which I heard on a Family Life Today radio broadcast over two days this week.. alot of truth and perserverance lessons in it for Godly living in crazyiness of today.. If your interested in it, send me an email and I will forward it to you. lorindasue62@msn.com

Saturday mornings look like this; I go to an accountability group with friends at 7am-? and are currently doing Beth Moore VHS (1970's) "A Womens Heart" on the tabernacles-powerful stuff, and than I head quickly to ERC and lead a womens study 9-11ish, we are doing Beth Moore DVD's "Living Beyond Yourself" on the fruit of the spirit.. another very powerful teaching. The first one with friends in the morning is new study for us and for my growth. The second group is a study for women in our Alpha program where for many it is a whole new experience and some they are lifers in the church and christian upbringing and are JUST getting it that God is real-we are in week 2. I co-lead this with a friend Susan and so she is really the "hard worker" in pulling all the details together, I show up (late usually trying to pull myself away from the first encounter of the day)... Being that I have gone through this one about 4 times, and so it is also one that I grow in just "re hearing" Gods truth reminded. And the more times I hear it, IT'S STARTING TO STICK IN MY ability to recall as she works through the topic of the day and where the scripture is that she will use or what it says.. Thick skull, it takes a while, but that is my new resolve to learn scripture more committed to memory for recall other than the response of "I've heard it before and know it's somewhere in the bible"!! ah, the light bulb goes on!

Today I stepped into an opportunity; one of the ladies in our thursday Alpha small group discussion, had kind of a break through on Thursday nights topic of "healing" as God is revealing some stuff to her, about Him and about herself. So I called her Friday and invited her to go to lunch with me after our Saturday study (she's also attending).. she accepted gladly.. Now she is a 74 year old, outgoing, spunky woman who has been widowed several years and probably doing her first study ever. Saying she is overwhelmed is an understatement. She came in this morning and just says "I just don't have the feeling about Beth that you ladies have, but I want it" so I encouraged her to not take notes on the fill in the blank sheet, we'd give her the answers but to just stay focused on Beth's teaching (no distractions) and perhaps listen for ONE statement or a word that might speak to her. When it was over, She is weeping with joy that everything Beth had said was as though she was speaking directly to HER. I think at 74, no multitasking needed, because she stayed focused rather than keeping up with filling in the blanks and losing track of the teaching. So this was what led into her and I having lunch and some good conversation. At 74 years of age, she's for the first time feeling that she is learning what she has never heard before or grasped in the realness of GOD as more than a religion of legalism but to have a relationship with. I also don't just nod and agree, I press and prod and ask specific questions based on what she has stated. (she's never had that before) so she revealed just a touch of what has been her own secret or guilt, and is ready to let more of it go that is holding her back.. Now I wasn't really fishing for being her mentor, but I offered to help find her a one on one mentoring relationship with someone to walk with for whatever period of time... and she said that she wouldn't feel comfortable with anyone but me..!!!!!!! so I just breathed easily and thoughtfully for a second and said okay... I can do that BUT we needed to have some ground rules (oops I was going to set them) 1. This relationship was going to be about growth in Christ, digging into learning, honesty, sharing what was being stirred up, asking questions and that she understood I'M NOT AN EXPERT, but that I would help her find answers whether it was something I've learned or I had to get back to her on it cause I would have to ask someone else. Her response was YES. 2. the best way for it to be consistent was that she was committing to attending for the next 9months or so to the Saturday morning study with us, and that we would get together after these studies if she had questions, situations to talk through, whatever, but whether we only meet at the church, go for coffee perhaps or on occasion a lunch.. Keeping it focused but low key expectations of the other on time and be flexible. See what unfolds. She said YES.. God is good.

Whew! I'm peaceful with this, kind of feeling while I was thinking this was a ministry direction I was heading, wasn't so sure I was ready to do it just yet.. but Luke 12:12 and the holy spirit will give you the words to speak....