Ready for You (Kutless)

Lord, You take my heart away with Your love
And i, am willing to put on my faith in Your plan
come take my life,
make my soul refreshed in truth now

i am ready for You
take my heart and make me new now
i am ready for You
to come and fill my soul

cleanse, all of my mind that is not of You
Break me, teaching me how to find rest in Your hands
come take my life,
make my soul refreshed in truth now

i am ready for You
take my heart and make me new now
i am ready for You
to come and fill my soul

what ever it takes
i'm needing to make Your will be done
and i'm letting go of my control
for i see what You done in me

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the words of my heart.

11:44 AM; yep, thanks Papa God for the new day. Y

ecc 3:1-15
"there is a time for everything,
a season for every activuity under heaven.
a time to be born and a time to die
a time to plant and a time to harvest
a time to kill and a time to heal
a time to tear down and a time to rebuild
a time to cry and a time to laugh
a time to grieve and a time to dance
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones
a time to embrace and a time to turn away
a time to search and a time to lose
a time to keep and time to throw away
a time to tear and a time to mend
a time to be quiet and a time to speak up
a time to love and a time to hate
a time for war and a time for peace

what do people really get for all their hard work? i have thought about this with connection with the various kinds of works God has given people to do. God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the hearts of man, but even so, people cannot se the entire scope of God's works from begginning to end. so i concluded that there is nothing better for people to be happy and enjoy themselves as long as they can. and people should eat and drink and enjoy the frruits of their labour, for these are gifts from God.
and i know that what ever God does is final. nothing can be taken or added to it or taken from it. God's purpose in this is that people should fear Him. whatever exists today and what ever will exist in the future has already existed in the past. for God calls each event back in its turn."

now is my time to:
a time to be REborn(renew myself in Christ)
a time to REplant(myself in Him from scratch)
a time to heal(my wounds)
a time to rebuild(my faith)
a time to cry(to be broken in Him)
a time to grieve(to know what i've lost and obtain new direction)
a time to scatter stones(break my weak foundation, and rebuild anew)
a time to turn away(from my old life(bad things/habits), and walk towards light)
a time to search(for myself in God)
a time to throw away(to discard the idols in my life)
a time to mend(relationships)
a time to be quiet(to shut the hell up and listen to Him, also to work on the things i say to her that pushes her away)
a time to love(find Jesus as my first love, esp for my family, friends, lover)
a time for peace(to have a peace of mind, receive JOY from the Lord)

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i was going thru a phase that made me feel i had to "go away".
just yesterday, gerald boon, ben and rena, talked to me and emphasised that i cannot be alone.
ecc4:7-12 says something that smacked me good.

ecc4:7-12
"i observed yet another example of meaningless in our world. this is a case of a man who is all alone, without a child or a brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. but then he asks himself,"who am i working for?" why am i giving up so much pleasure now?" it is all so meaningless and depressing.

two people can accomplish more than twice as much one; they get a better return for their labour. if one person falls, the other can reach out and help. but people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. and on a cold night, *two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. but how can one be warm alone? a person standing can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer. three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken."

when i was in the army, i chose to be alone, and see where it brought me?
i had God and her to "*warm myself up" then, but i chose to be alone. chose to play games to get away.

a loner's escape.

upon coming out of it, i realised it takes two to work it out, but she wasnt tuned in to it. but i guess God's using this break up to give us a break. its hard, but its a whole learning experience.

even now i go thru this "i need to go away" phase, i realised its wrong. im doing the same thing i did when i was in the army. without her, i can still find company to stand back to back with me. i hope she does so too. that she wont do as i did and stand alone. be it the youth or leaders or friends.

thanks to my family and friends who are willing to stand with us back to back. lets fight together.

i do hope one day, God willing, she'd be willing to be the one who'll watch my back again, and i hers.

9:51 AM; yep, thanks Papa God for the new day. Y

as she was going up the stairs
she saw a man who wasnt really there
he wasnt there again today,
i guess she wishes he goes away?

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lesson learnt in the shower today..

was scrubbing shampoo on my head just now when some soap went in my eye..
so i scrambled to wash it out, and in the process accidentally turned the water slightly hotter..
so i contemplated to turn it cold and wash it out, but i dint know if i could stand the sudden extreme cold water. so i stuck to the hot water.. Then He taught me something

at times we tend to get soap in our eyes, blinding us, causing pain, and desperately we try on our own strength to wash it out, and sometimes make things worse (i.e hot water) but what's cool is that He doesnt give us something we cant handle(tho water hot, it was managable) if we stick to Him

1:06 AM; yep, thanks Papa God for the new day. Y

was just talking to a bro of mine, and we talked abt our ministry, and drawing near to God.
i realised quite a no of things as we spoke..some things kept confidential to respect our privacy.

1. Drawing near to God is not one way. God is drawing near to us too..
its us who think we are not good enough, and us who are running away from Him.

a thot occured: what does God feel when we run away from Him as He desires tries to draw near to His people He loves?
to help understand, similiarly on a more human level,
how would i feel, if someone i loved seemed to be running from me or avoiding me?

hurt. was my pal's answer.

imagine millions of people around the world doing that to Him.

BIG OW.

im gonna draw near. enough of hurting Him. Lord, im coming back.

2. our ministry. whats happening to it? whats happening to us?
as we are going back to our church building, it symbolises going back to our promised land...
and look at what mr d.evil is doing to us?

our leaders are getting stretched but are staying strong(pray for our leaders youth!), we, as the mid tier leaders are hit emotionally(dealing with our own probs), our numbers are reduced(overseas study, army).. its all very discouraging.. but hey! we cant get disheartened and die?

its all very real. this spiritual war is far frm over. im not ashamed to state all i did in the previous para, cos its all very real. diff churches have diff struggles. this one too.

but we gotta rise up right? are we ready to fly?

msn log edited for privacy:

bro
"but we gotta prepare ourself"
sam
"what does mama eagle do to teach her kids how to fly?"
bro
"kick them out of the nest?"
sam
"bingo! see how God uses the wind to help us soar"
bro
"Holy spirit?"
sam
"occassionally we'll need to flap our wings, but depend on the wind.."

Lets fly.

TOGETHER.

"for we shall soar on the wings of eagles..."

10:41 AM; yep, thanks Papa God for the new day. Y

ahhhhhhhh some cranky random thots..

study: uni where?
mini projs: comin soon comin soon ahhhh..
3 military exercises back to back?! starting tonight!
dang it, i still have some bleach episodes to finish! should i finish it now or wait to watch it tog?how's snack lovin, cheese chewing babie now?
how's the new CHS building like now? moving in late sept?
where are the 2 petals now?
did mom buy hunny stars?
where did my chocs and jelly beans go?
i want haribo gummy sweets.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh. blabber.

10:48 AM; yep, thanks Papa God for the new day. Y

1cor 9:21
"when i am with the gentiles,who do not have the law, i fit in with them as much as possible. in this way, i gain their confidence and bring them to Christ. but i do not discard the Word of the Lord, i obey the law of Christ"

the lesson today was establishing common grounds with people so as to lead people to Christ..
when i saw the "list of things that could be common grounds" and saw "military service" it struck me of the opportunities i missed. prob losing sight of God then, i was less and less in tuned to His voice.. well, gotta buck up, not becos its something i MUST do, but something i want and desire to do.

To Love God for loving me.

in love for God, and in love for my unsaved friends and family members, i will say this in declaration that i honour my friendships and relationships, and not fall into mr d.evil's trap of "make friends JUST to "MAKE" them know Jesus" but out of a loving heart and loving nature, to desire for them to know my Savior.

this is besides the point, but i like this:
-happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts
-you have power over your mind, not outside events
-your life is what your thoughts make it

"teach me to guard my thoughts, so that i may know the lies of the evil one, and guard my heart and mind with the sword- Your Word oh Lord" -sam

9:00 AM; yep, thanks Papa God for the new day. Y

waaaah kena "tua".. unit called me back today for a recce for an exercise happening next week.. but when i went back to camp in the morn...

"oh its changed to tml.. will let you know the details soon"

so.. here im back home again..
but it was good anyways.. could come home and look for my missing camp pass.....

haha.. dad asked me how come i wasnt playing games since i was so free nowadays.. so i told him i lent my psp to liwei..just got it back tho.. so far so good. been almost a month since i played a game.. hmm.. doing cold turkey to control my urge to play! arrrgh..

focus sam focus sam..

God YES, games NO, God YES, games NO, God YES, games NO.

12 sept will be the big day, 1 month since i decided to put down games after the break up..
games are detrimental to health if over excessive. until i can refocus on God, then maybeeee i'll plaa... hmm.. hold that thought hold that thought....
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oh yaaaa..

halleeeeeeeeeeeluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuujaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

thankyouGodthankyouGodthankyouGodthankyouGodthankyouGod!

found my pass folks!
the quickest i've found something i misplaced.. ever!

just did a quick prayer and entrusted it to God.. thanks to Papa God for the peace of mind... dint even search frantically all over.. just stood and pondered, went to me old pants hanging behind the door(i think i havent washed it for 3 weeks cos i only wore it once..), stuck my hand in the pocket...

and there it was.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!~

thankyouGodthankyouGodthankyouGodthankyouGodthankyouGod!

11:06 AM; yep, thanks Papa God for the new day. Y

wow! what an exciting day today!
day 2 of the worship symposium! learnt alot abt worship! oh my gosh.. i know my weakness in worship leading now i guess...

mainly, i need to
-strengthen my knowledge of the Word, so i can relate the Word to the songs God chose for the worship sessions, thus i can edify the congregation or emphasize the points God wants me to share thru the songs thru the scripture.
-watch my emotional gauge, so as to clearly express my love for God,as well as to control my negative emotions.

learnt dynamics for a worship team.. hehheh.. next time will play around with diff styles.. and learn how to be an effective worship music leader/music director.. of cos must pray and see if within God's plans la..

ended the day off with an excellent worship. excellent not so much cos of the band, but cos it was a first for a change of my heart, a yearning for Him that i've not tasted in such a long time.. so so long in fact.

a verse that spoke quite a bit.. thanks cindy for that verse aye? good thing i read this before my phone died from a lack of power juice in the batt la.

Isaiah 55:8-9"My thoughts are completely different from yours," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

this verse sets an understanding to my current situation, and it released an expression of trust to God, affirmation and acceptance to the situation.. its for our good!

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oh... had a call from my camp informing me of a recce for the last military exercise for me.. its tml! so scrambled to find my camp pass... oh man.. cant find it.. but some how i got a sense of peace la.. find it or not, i'll entrust to God.. please pray that i'll find it people.. many thanks!

while looking for the camp pass, i happened to come across some postcards she wrote to me.. was really sweet words. i believe at that time she meant it la. deep inside i still hopes she still means that =P. it really hurts to read it, but it was a friendship that we shared.. and love if i may boldly call it.. to answer one of your postcards, "866". well, wont do me good reminiscensing too much. im still hoping perhaps, but not clinging on to anything.. hmm..clingling to God, yes.

i would like to say that my "go" phrase is "move on". but my doors arent closed! changed my definitions cos they were too absolute.. if absolute, i'll be just limiting God... hmm.. i hope that at least the eventuality that i really want, is what God wants for me too.. BUT,only when i find i can love God first and everything else 2nd(including each other..this was wat we decided on tog when we got together la), will i try to woo her again.. (i hope by then it wont be too late..)

meanwhile, i'll just cont to pray for her and family, and esp my own family.. prayer requests here pple..mom's having a swell in her throat(pray its nothing serious), and grama's getting weaker due health(strength to overcome lies from mr D.Evil), bro's unchurched(pray for his meeting with God again), dad for strength to lead this now chaotic family.. me, strength to be my family's pillar both spiritually, mentally, and physically.

steph, thanks for the morale booster hahas! i'll try again when the time is right. see reference in bold.

i hope both God and her will gimme that chance ^_^

ooooh... i see optimism here...
new day, here i come!

oh oh oh.. back to the camp pass hunt... >_<

12:04 AM; yep, thanks Papa God for the new day. Y

dead is good.
i think i wanna die.

Lord teach me to die to self. and live for You.

amen.

12:23 AM; yep, thanks Papa God for the new day. Y