Its that time of year and the girls need to start basketball conditioning. With all this COVID craziness they cant meet as a team to workout. Yesterday I had Gracie and Suzie do their own conditioning by working out to a YouTube video by Heather Robertson; Week 1, Day 1 of her 12 week series.
Growing up, my dad always told me I should be an engineer. I thought it would be cool to work at a bank. During my early adult life, the career path I was on was no where close to being an engineer or working in a bank. But through a serious of events, some planned, some unexpected...that is a story all its own... I found myself working in a bank, as an Engineer! The day I became an engineer at a bank, I was overwhelmingly aware only God could orchestrate something like this. My dad passed away before this part of my life's journey, so I held my title as engineer very precious.
Becoming an engineer meant certain goals needed to be obtained. Cisco certification was one of them. Certifications for configuring routers and switches, moving internet traffic from point A to point B, managing IP addresses and firewalls, making sure data is kept secure... working with lots of numbers and things that made my brain work in ways it wasn't naturally meant to...
Two years into the job, while still trying to obtain my first certification, the bank announced a merger with a bigger bank. This merger meant job loss as teams and departments would be combined. While I waited for the process to be completed and job offers to be made, I was a mess inside. I had taken my cert test twice and failed. I was an old dog trying to learn a new trick; a "letter" person in a world that revolved around numbers; a baby in the field of technology.... plus, I was a woman in a predominantly man's world... Why would they offer me a job when there were more qualified candidates. I wanted to quit. Give up. I wanted to find a new job before they told me I didn't make the cut... For weeks, on my drive to work I kept telling myself to "jump ship" and find a new job...
One Sunday morning, Pastor Doug was preaching his message and said, "Stay in the boat." *** My heart beat picked up and my eyes began to water.... Stay in the boat!? But I don't want to! I want to get out of this boat before I suffer the humiliation of failure. I want to jump ship before they kick me out... But every day, for the next several months, a voice told me to "Stay in the boat." Through every struggle and every tear, through every doubt, I heard the words, "Stay in the boat, Rebekah. Stay. In. The boat!"
The merger process moved forward and the job offers came around. I was offered a job, a job as an Engineer! And, I passed my certification on the third attempt!... Yes!... I was very thankful I listened and stayed in the boat. I trusted God and He took care of it.
Fast forward a bit....
A year post-merger and the waves had calmed down. I started to peer over the bow of the boat. I was more confident in my job, but if I wanted to advance, I would have to get more certifications. I started to observe the level II and level III engineers. Is this really the path I wanted? Do I want to spend evening and weekends, alone, working in a data closet?... I felt as though I was at a fork in the road. I know, straight from the boat to standing on the road *shrug*... I had been looking at internal job postings for a friend when I came across a job that peaked my interest. The only downside was it was not on the IT team... my work family... and it was an Analyst title, not an Engineer title... a title I held precious to my heart...
I wrestled with the idea of applying. I wanted to seek out the opinion of family and friends, but I felt like this was another opportunity for me to listen, to trust in God. I had no idea what to do, so I prayed, "God, give me a dream. Show me what to do."... God often gives me dreams...
That night I woke up, 3 am, shaking from the intense dream. Was this dream just a coincidence or was God really giving me my answer? I shared the dream with my sister, wanting her opinion, but this was between me and God. I spent the next few days praying and focusing on the meaning of the dream. The dream was me saying good bye to my dad... saying good bye to my engineer title... I applied for the job.
The job opening was with a new team the Bank was building. The interview process was very atypical. I had 3 phone interviews with 3 different managers for 5 different open positions. It was very awkward to interview for jobs that didn't really have a description. All 3 interviews were a crash and burn... so I thought...
Several weeks past and I heard nothing. Not too surprising though, considering how awful the interviews were. I began to make my peace with staying where I was... not sure what the dream meant if it wasn't to apply for this job, but I was going to trust God...
One morning, sitting at my desk... my dad's birthday of all days... I got an instant message from one of the managers, asking if I had a few minutes for a phone call. "Yes" I replied, assuming he was going to tell me the position was filled and thanks but no thanks. Instead, he offered me the job. We talked about some logistics of the job, but not any details of the job itself. I asked if I could have a few days to discuss it with my husband.... still not knowing what the job actually was...
Anxious and uncertain... and too fidgety to sit at my desk... I went for a walk. My thoughts circled around in my head, "If I take this job, then..., but what if.... well, then I could..."... I felt like a dog chasing it's tail... What should I do?.. Stressing!... I wanted to talk to someone, anyone, who would tell me what to do... someone please give me the answer!... And then it hit me. "Hey, why not talk to God. After all, He is the One in charge."... duh... I opened my phone and tapped on my Bible app to read the Daily Scripture verse... gotta start somewhere...
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified (exactly how I was feeling)... The Lord your God goes with you...
Wow! That seems like a direct answer... or was it?... My thoughts began to circle again. If the Lord is going with me, then He must want me to go. But wait, maybe he wants me to "go" with my current job. I continued to stress myself, my thoughts looping in circles... Dog, Tail, Chase... To some, what would seem like a clear answer was still open for interpretation. I rolled my eyes at myself and went back in to try to do some work.
Back at my desk, I would focus on work for a few minutes, then my thoughts would shift to the job offer. I would start to message someone, looking for an answer, but then No! I would close the unsent message and try to focus on work again. This went on all morning... dog, tail, chase...
Our office building was being remodeled and we were working out of a temporary site. Every few days my co-workers and I would walk over and check on the progress. That afternoon we walked over to check out the new desks and view the posted seat assignments. No one knew that I applied for this job, and I was a little sad at the idea of not sitting with my friends if I took the job.... I wanted to sit with my IT family!... We walked around the rest of the building, passing the digital department... the team I would be joining if I accepted the position... My heart sank! I don't want to sit with "these" people! I want to sit with "my" people!.... not helping with the decision process...
Back at my desk, I opened my Bible app and re-read Deut 31:6, I continued to verse 7... Be strong and courageous, for you must go with these people... My eyes welled with tears. I had no idea what this new job entailed and I had never even met the manager; But that same voice that told me to stay in the boat just told me to go with these people.
Over the next few days, I still wrestled with the decision. I wanted to seek out details of the job. I wanted to seek out the opinions of others. But knowing this information would just muddy the waters,. The details of the job and the opinions of others didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was, did God want me to accept this job? Reading over Deuteronomy 31, I had my answer. The following Monday I signed the negotiated job offer.
The past two years have been a time of growing my faith. Things I knew in my head and things I knew on paper have become ingrained in my heart. There were a few songs I had on repeat during this time, one song was Father, Son, Spirit by Jason Upton
I am overwhelmed the longer I aware, aware that you love me
I am overwhelmed the longer I aware, aware that you're near me
You're the voice I hear calling my name. You're the song inside my head
You're the whisper in the wind and the rain, when I listen.
Teach me to listen
Post Script: I have been in my new position a couple months now. As I struggle to learn the new job and experience growing pains, I do not experience doubt. The beauty of trusting God and listening to Him, is I don't second guess my decision. I'm confident this is where I am meant to be
December 2013
The past two Christmas season I was busy with my schooling and didn't get much decorating done. This year I really wanted to make the house festive, but Josh sort of took over.
I usually start decorating the weekend after Thanksgiving but it fell a little early on the calendar this year. I planned to wait for the following weekend but Josh started getting anxious. Every day he would pester me about decorations and the tree. Finally I told him that if he wanted to start decorating he could go downstairs and start sorting through things. Little did I know the obsession I allowed to be released!
Josh started by dragging out the lights. He checked for faulty strands and swapped burnt out bulbs for working bulbs. Originally we were going to wait for Chuck to put up the lights on the house but Josh was insistent, claiming the weather was nice. Tired of telling Josh to wait on Chuck, I gave in and told him it was all his. Josh brought up all the lights from the basement, gathered up hooks for the lights, and got out the ladders. Caleb was less enthusiastic so I had to encourage him.... ok, I had to pull the parental card... to get outside and help Josh.
It didn't take the boys but an hour to get the lights up. Josh was so proud, he couldn't wait to plug them in. At the first test plug-in, all the lights were lit up, but by dusk, the lights would not come on. None of them. I made a couple suggestions to Josh, stating he may have to check every strand to find the faulty one, then replace it. Josh spent the rest of the weekend asking his dad, his grandpa, his grandma, and Chuck about the lights. Finally we had another good afternoon and Josh spent about an hour checking each strand. The last four strands on the end were not working, causing the entire bunch not to light up. Josh wanted me to get more lights but I was helping the girls with their homework. Not wanting to wait, Josh went to the store and spent his own money buying lights. Josh called me twice while at the store to make sure he got the right lights to match the rest of the house. Immediately after Josh got home with his lights, he was up on the roof replacing the strands. The house lit up! Josh insisted I come see the lights. I was busy helping Suzie finish her homework so I told him I would be there in a minute. Josh couldn't wait so he took a couple pictures with my camera, then a couple more with his phone. He couldn't sit still until I went out to see the lights... he was starting to drive me bonkers- lol... Finally, Suz finished her homework and we went out to see the lights... only to have the lights not work. Josh threw his hands in the air and sighed heavily, "Why wont they come on?"
In the mean time, Josh worked on his lights issues, trying to figure it out. Now he has another issue. A few years ago I got tired of always trying to track down extension cords for my Christmas lights so I bought one, just for me, to keep with my decorations. Well, this year, Chuck stole it to keep the cows water from freezing.... he stole MY electric cord!! grrr... so, now Josh thinks he has his lights figured out, but he doesn't have cord to plug them in. I guess one good steal deserves another so he stole the extension cords out of Chuck's work trailer...
** Note- this has been saved as a draft for a couple years. Not sure of the date**
Suzie has always had trouble going to sleep at night. On a daily basis she is energetic and always on the move, pretending and playing. However, in the quiet darkness of bedtime, with nothing else to occupy her brain, her imagination kicks into high gear.
Tonight at dinner I made a comment about Suzie still being awake at 10:30.... I went into her room a little after 10:30 and she was still awake... Caleb pipes up and says "Yeah, she scared the crap out of me about 10 o'clock."
Sunday night, the night before school after a two week Christmas break, I had the girls get ready for a bed a few minutes early so they would be "in bed" at 9 o'clock. Gracie, like always, was asleep in 15 minutes. Suzie, on the other hand, was wide awake.
I checked on her at 9:30, she was still awake. I went to my bed and fell asleep. Around 10:30 I woke up and checked on her again, still wide awake. Chuck was working so Suzie asked if she could come sleep with me. Sleepy-eyed I agreed.... little did I know about her excursions throughout the house during the previous hour
Sometime around 10 pm Caleb was on the couch watching tv. He heard what sounded like paper rustling. He muted the Tv for a second but didn't hear anything. A few minutes later he heard it again. This time he got up and walked around the couch but nothing was there. He sat back down on the couch and reached for his drink. Suzie popped her head up from behind the couch, "Boo"
Startled, Caleb asked "What the heck are you doing?" Suzie replied, "trying to burn off some energy."
Gracie Gunter November 11, 2014
Dear Dad,
I would like you to please fix my four wheeler. I really want you to fix it.
I would take very good care of it, and I will wash it. I will also put gas in it.
We would have family time. The family will be able to ride on our four wheelers together and take adventures.
Finally I would drive saft..... (yes she actually wrote "saft")... I wouldn't go very fast. I will wear a helmet and not drive on the road.
Will you please fix my four wheeler? Even if you don't, I will always love you!
Love,
Your caring and
responsible daughter,
Gracie
No what kind of father could turn down a little girl who wrote a letter like this? Lol- I'm sure Chuck will be spending his Saturday fixing the 4 wheeler for Gracie.
